Susan's Place Transgender Resources

hello i wanted to see what people do with the restrooms when crossdressing, me im a F but i crossdress to a M and i do use the restrooms at times so i used the F but everyone seem to be looking at me and thinking im a male, which is ok i can understand that, but when it comes with chavs they are worst and i just stoped using the restroom now...

what do u all do use the same sex loo or do u go into the one as u dress as?

1. Depends on the gender I am dressed as.
2. Depends on the site I am at.

There is no really set answer for me, although I usually get away with having my wife go in with me and run interference - nobody seems to argue with someone built like a brick wall saying that her husband is ok to be in there ;)

cool, i don't think my boyfriend would want to be my loo buddy...

Well, you've just brought up another gender difference. Guys don't have "loo buddies". That's a girl thing. Guys usually go alone.

Anyway, if you look like your avatar pic most of the time, you probably will wouldn't draw any attention using a men's room.

When I first started going out looking feminine, I figured out where all the single-stall restrooms with locking doors were and just used them. They way you don't risk running into anyone in the room.

Lyric

Quote from: Lyric on June 25, 2010, 09:58:04 AM
Well, you've just brought up another gender difference. Guys don't have "loo buddies". That's a girl thing. Guys usually go alone.

Anyway, if you look like your avatar pic most of the time, you probably will wouldn't draw any attention using a men's room.

When I first started going out looking feminine, I figured out where all the single-stall restrooms with locking doors were and just used them. They way you don't risk running into anyone in the room.

Lyric

oh right, and yes i do look like my avatar....ok thanks just needed to know where to go if i did really need to use one.

My experience, from many years doing my business in men's restrooms, is that guys pay very little attention to one another in men's rooms. For one thing, if you're too interested in somebody else, they'll think you're cruising them.

I think the worst that could happen to you in a men's room would be that a man would think you're an effeminate man. They're not going to bust you for being a woman in a men's room -- most men wouldn't mind that at all! So square your shoulders, wash your hands, and don't make eye contact, and you'll be fine.

Oh, and don't feel self-conscious about using the stall instead of the urinal. At least 10% of men have trouble urinating when other men are nearby. Lots of us use the stalls, just for reasons of privacy and lower tension.

*** Jenna ***

Quote from: Jenna Lynne on June 25, 2010, 12:23:59 PM
My experience, from many years doing my business in men's restrooms, is that guys pay very little attention to one another in men's rooms. For one thing, if you're too interested in somebody else, they'll think you're cruising them.

I think the worst that could happen to you in a men's room would be that a man would think you're an effeminate man. They're not going to bust you for being a woman in a men's room -- most men wouldn't mind that at all! So square your shoulders, wash your hands, and don't make eye contact, and you'll be fine.

Oh, and don't feel self-conscious about using the stall instead of the urinal. At least 10% of men have trouble urinating when other men are nearby. Lots of us use the stalls, just for reasons of privacy and lower tension.

*** Jenna ***

yeah my bf said he dont like to use the urinal, may i ask when they or u use the stalls do u leave the door open or lock it?

Quote from: rexyrex on June 25, 2010, 12:28:21 PM
yeah my bf said he dont like to use the urinal, may i ask when they or u use the stalls do u leave the door open or lock it?

The only time I would leave it standing half open would be if I was using the toilet facing it and standing up. That's fairly normal, though not universal. If you're sitting down, you would absolutely close and lock it.

*** Jenna ***

Yeah, as far as I know, male washrooms are pretty silent. No one asks and no one tells. It's in and out for guys. And like Jenna said, it is very common for men to use stalls with doors closed and everything.

It was a good question because I was wondering this myself. For me, I try to avoid using public restrooms to begin with haha but eventually I'll have to figure it out. I guess if I'm cross-dressed to be a guy, I should use the mens room too. Like you said, lots of women stare when I use the womens rest room. XP So I guess we'll just have to buck up and use the mens, using the wonderful advice that our family gives us. ^^

Quote from: Tom Edward Quackenbush on July 14, 2010, 12:39:23 PM
Yeah, as far as I know, male washrooms are pretty silent. No one asks and no one tells. It's in and out for guys. And like Jenna said, it is very common for men to use stalls with doors closed and everything.

It was a good question because I was wondering this myself. For me, I try to avoid using public restrooms to begin with haha but eventually I'll have to figure it out. I guess if I'm cross-dressed to be a guy, I should use the mens room too. Like you said, lots of women stare when I use the womens rest room. XP So I guess we'll just have to buck up and use the mens, using the wonderful advice that our family gives us. ^^

yeah i avoid using public restrooms when i can, but if u got to go u got to go. :)

Quote from: rexyrex on July 14, 2010, 01:10:57 PM
yeah i avoid using public restrooms when i can, but if u got to go u got to go. :)

Agreed. :) Honestly, I think if we can get past our first time of actually using the mens, we'll realize that it's okay and there's nothing wrong. We just have to do it lol. It's like learning to ride a bike, the first fall seems scary but once it's done, it's all good. XP

Even though I know that men don't really care who goes in and out unlike girls, I am still very worried about the possibility of physical abuse.  (There are just way too many ignorant people in the world)  I am just really sick of going into womens bathroom since I am completely repulsed by them.  It's like I rather go to a handicapped bathroom and even be seen as a disabled person rather than a woman, but there isn't always one available...  Besides I am totally uncomfortable in there.  So I really want to go to mens from now on.  I don't dress like a typical male but it's not like I wear dresses like a typical girl.  I do however wear clothes that were bought from the girl's section since I find most things on the opposite section boring.  But anyways, I know that I will have to put up with some sort of abuse, but what if it gets physical?  I mean I will definitely fight back but what if they are holding a knife or if there is more than one?  I have no problem not making eye contact with anyone since I don't ever do this in general for my hatred in the humankind, but how in the world am I going to defend myself? 

Quote from: nolife on July 17, 2010, 10:15:13 PM
Even though I know that men don't really care who goes in and out unlike girls, I am still very worried about the possibility of physical abuse.  (There are just way too many ignorant people in the world)  I am just really sick of going into womens bathroom since I am completely repulsed by them.  It's like I rather go to a handicapped bathroom and even be seen as a disabled person rather than a woman, but there isn't always one available...  Besides I am totally uncomfortable in there.  So I really want to go to mens from now on.  I don't dress like a typical male but it's not like I wear dresses like a typical girl.  I do however wear clothes that were bought from the girl's section since I find most things on the opposite section boring.  But anyways, I know that I will have to put up with some sort of abuse, but what if it gets physical?  I mean I will definitely fight back but what if they are holding a knife or if there is more than one?  I have no problem not making eye contact with anyone since I don't ever do this in general for my hatred in the humankind, but how in the world am I going to defend myself?

A few careful warnings here. Discriminating against disabled people in your wording is VERY likely to lead to confrontation on this site. Particularly from me.  I am very annoyed by those comments.

On a broader note most men are not axe murderers and rapists. But if you want to present as a guy in female clothing what are you trying to achieve?  You need to think through your genderism.

I do not believe that any one wearing female clothing going into a male toilet will be automatically raped. But why would you want to? I'd feel a complete turkey if I walked into a male loo. But then again your comments about disabled people suggest you are one.

I also think you need to read your posts before you send them. I am offended.



Cindy  James
Global Moderator

Like Cindy said, I'm very offended. My aunt is handicapped and has been since birth...She can't help it and she gets looks and glares by people all the time. All she wants to do is be her.

The way you type is very malice-like as though you expect peril to be at every corner, like everyone has said, guys really don't pay attention. Back when I didn't present, I still looked quite feminine in guys clothing; Part of it being inter. but mostly because of hormones but anyways...I went in and out and got NO LOOKS. I have never gotten a stare before, men don't stare and do stuff like that -- I guess it's just uncomfortable.

They just want to take a sh!t and or an p!ss and just get out of there.

You have a lot of work and drama to fix and when you have, please come back with a fresh mind...Now the vibe in this post may seem like I dislike you but I don't -- The main word I could say is I'm disappointing in you, as an member of a community that is already hated on, hating on another seems very hypocritical.

I am also disabled.
I would much rather be seen as disabled than closed minded.

Back on topic:
I tend to go to the restroom that coresponds to how I feel I predominatly look.
I think I should probably start ussing the ladies room exclusively, lately I have been gendered female when I feel I am presenting androgyne at best.
I came out of the mens room in Walmart yesterday and a woman pointed me out to her husband and comented that 'she just came out of the mens room.'
:)

I agree with everyone else, Nolife, your wording makes you sound very prejudiced and hypocritical, even if it was not your intent. "rather be seen as a disabled person than a woman"... sounds very insensitive toward disabled women, particularly, and disabled people in general. They are still women after all; being disabled doesn't change them by removing their gender. Choose your words more carefully. I have a lifelong friend with MS and I would never refer to her that way, I love her dearly.

Also I am bothered by the statement about your "hatred in the humankind". It seems you have some serious issues to deal with before you even begin transitioning. I hope no therapist gave you papers to get hormones before dealing with your other issues.

~April

Quote from: AprilDawn on July 18, 2010, 10:05:50 AM
I agree with everyone else, Nolife, your wording makes you sound very prejudiced and hypocritical, even if it was not your intent. "rather be seen as a disabled person than a woman"... sounds very insensitive toward disabled women, particularly, and disabled people in general. They are still women after all; being disabled doesn't change them by removing their gender. Choose your words more carefully. I have a lifelong friend with MS and I would never refer to her that way, I love her dearly.

Also I am bothered by the statement about your "hatred in the humankind". It seems you have some serious issues to deal with before you even begin transitioning. I hope no therapist gave you papers to get hormones before dealing with your other issues.

~April

AMEN!

I don't mind one bit if people talk about it, I just don't want anyone physically touching me.  The reason why I would want to go to the mens bathroom is because I just know I am a boy; I just wear androgynous clothing since I don't even believe in crossdressing. 
I am not even interested in hormones since I don't want facial hairs and such... I just want a male's body.  I wasn't even trying to offend anyone, I just rather go to a handicapped bathroom instead of a womans bathroom.  I am not discriminating disabled people. I am just a misogynist thats all.

Quote from: nolife on July 18, 2010, 10:52:25 AM
I don't mind one bit if people talk about it, I just don't want anyone physically touching me.  The reason why I would want to go to the mens bathroom is because I just know I am a boy; I just wear androgynous clothing since I don't even believe in crossdressing. 
I am not even interested in hormones since I don't want facial hairs and such... I just want a male's body.  I wasn't even trying to offend anyone, I just rather go to a handicapped bathroom instead of a womans bathroom.  I am not discriminating disabled people. I am just a misogynist thats all.

Well sorry to burst your wonderland but male bodies don't grow on trees...You can't just sit around and have a million dollars fall from the sky and you never have to work -- You have to get a job and just the same with a male body, you're going to need male hormones or something to the sorts.

Misogyny (pronounced /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred (or contempt) of women or girls. Misogyny comes from Greek misogunia (μισογυνία) from misos (μῖσος, hatred) and gynē (γυνή, woman). It is parallel to misandry—the hatred of men or boys.

That's a pretty frightening condition to have. Perhaps that can be treated.

I can see where people are coming from about being offended but that adds to the point no one can see expression in typed words on a forum. So whatever you meant, it's the past now. XP I'm personally not one to hold grudges nor am I one to worry. I mean of course I too was a little little bit offended as my mom is also disabled but *points to above statements*, it's in the past now.

That's alright how you feel, sure some of us won't agree with it but you joined this community for many reasons and some of those may include support or friendship. Whatever they may be, we're still here for you, at least I am. :) I'm a lover not a fighter lol. I'm sure there are beliefs in all of us that someone out there or even on here may not approve but that is not the point of this website. So whatever happened on this forum, don't worry about it, life moves on and you shouldn't be afraid to post. Just be careful (which is something everyone should do on any forum lol).

In order to get that male body you want, there's steps you have to take. Heck, I need to take them too. XP You have to talk to at least one counselor, who will usually be a normal one that will then refer you to one that helps people like us. After time of counseling, he/she will refer you to an endocrine doctor (endocrine being your hormones). After that, you will be prescribed testosterone treatments. Now, facial hair depends on your genetics. Some people, due to genes, simply won't grow the hair whereas I know I will. Sad to say, it's a high chance so you'll prob just have to shave. But if you relax, be yourself, and do it the right way, then you'll get the body you want faster than you'd ever thought. Rushing and stressing and hating could lead you down the wrong path. Not that I'm preaching or anything, I've just heard horror stories and I never want to see that happen again. XP

ANYWAYS, back to the topic of this post! Yeah I understand where you're coming from. But no one is gonna physically touch you unless its like an accidental bump or something. Don't worry about. I'm like you, I have many fears but you know what, its not just the two of us. And I think this is because of how we're used to the ladies washrooms - the atmosphere doesn't feel very good there. >.< So, we just have to be able to take that step in. And like I said before, I'm sure it'll be fine and we'll laugh at ourselves about how stressed we were. Plus, it's in public, no matter what the area there is always someone around. Only take the step when you know you're ready. Maybe, bring a friend to wait outside the washroom for you (because taking them in is weird).

Whatever your views and beliefs are, you are you and no one can change that. You're also a growing individual in this community so you should be accepted no matter what (that is so long as you don't directly hate on anyone O_O ). I dunno, maybe I'm just too chill because it takes a lot to get me angry or truly insulted but welcome to the family. :)

Quote from: nolife on July 18, 2010, 10:52:25 AM
I am not discriminating disabled people. I am just a misogynist thats all.

Oh, that's ever so much better.

I know I posted a long post up there but I really hope someone read it. XP I don't want anyone hating nor fighting with anyone. Call me a peace keeper or naive but it's what I think. >.<

Thanks for the info about the transitioning.  The thing is, I am definitely not a typical boy so I don't want T but I would maybe take it for a short amount of time and then stop when my voice deepens a bit.  That's all I am basically looking for.  Top surgery, I definitely want but the bottom one; I was actually told by a surgeon in person that I still wouldn't be able to pee no matter which type I got...  I don't know if this is completely true but I was disappointed.  I guess I'll just use the mens bathroom (despite dressing androgynous ) and be ready for anything. 

Quote from: AprilDawn on July 18, 2010, 11:01:27 AM
Misogyny (pronounced /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred (or contempt) of women or girls. Misogyny comes from Greek misogunia (μισογυνία) from misos (μῖσος, hatred) and gynē (γυνή, woman). It is parallel to misandry—the hatred of men or boys.

That's a pretty frightening condition to have. Perhaps that can be treated.

My misogyny is a part of me, it isn't a condition to be treated like yours which is a woman wannabe.

Quote from: nolife on July 18, 2010, 02:55:26 PM
My misogyny is a part of me, it isn't a condition to be treated like yours which is a woman wannabe.

Oh look, it's a personal attack sandwich on misogynist bread with transphobia sauce!

Can a mod please tell me why this thread is still going?