Susan's Place Transgender Resources

ive been curious about my orientation lately. I would date a gg or a transwoman, but not a guy. does this technically make me bi?

A transwoman is female, so no it wouldn't make you bi.  Being attracted to men as well as women would make you bi.

thank you. i dont mean to offend. its just, its how others look at it, you kno? i think if youre transgendered, big deal. i met you living as a woman and you were a man, you were always a woman to me.

I know you mean well, but most trans women would argue that they were never actually men :)

Quote from: kyril on July 09, 2010, 09:39:09 PM
I know you mean well, but most trans women would argue that they were never actually men :)

I completely agree, however there are 2 sides of this argument.

Side 1) I have always been female in my head, the gender of my brain has always been female.
Side 2) Yeah but you were born with male bits and you looked like a male, this made you male. But you are no longer male as you look female. (No one has the right to ask what someone has between their legs, thus that is noted as irrelevant to whether or not someone is Male or Female)

I am beginning to think that it is possible that I might be Bi, but I really doubt it. LOL. Maybe it's denial or something in that regard, or something like that.

I think there's too many stupid labels for everything. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, labeling everything gets confusing imo ;)

There's such stigmas attached to all those labels anyway.

No, that would not like you bi... i guess one thing is whether you like trans women pre op or post op based solely on their physiological appearance.  By that I mean, not looking inside and seeing who a person is based on their outside characteristics.  If one like trans women because they have a penis (not to be rude) then yes one would be bi; as it would still be based on male sexuality.  But, if on likes a trans women because they are female on the inside, then no, one would be straight... That is my opinion.  But then LGB and straight sexual orientations are fluid concepts.  They aren't worth much, as they continually evolve over one's lifetime.  The point is, who cares what one prefers consensually as long as one is themselves.     

I'm curious, would you date a pre op trans woman? I've been wondering how many guys would be bothered by my lack of a vagina, until I get SRS, which is a few years away for me. If you would date a pre op, I don't think it would make you bi.

The largest part of attraction lies in personality. To be honest: Physical sex seems to have relatively little to do with it.
It's a bit like this: sexuality is a sliding scale. Nobody is 100% this or the other, and there are many options in between. You'll probably sometime soon see your male friends stopping with remarks like 'take a look at the mellons of that one!' (Usually opted my insecure males who don't get enough experience in the field of intercourse, if you ask me.)
Anyway; once people get beyond that point, it seems more and more that people are attracted to someone's personality. And gender still plays a very large role, of course, as do looks. but physical 'abnormalities' seem to become less and less important. Intimacy is something that can be achieved with whatever kind of body a person has, provided they have the right mind-set for you to share intimacy with them.

In short: No. It doesn't make you bisexual.

A gay friend of mine says in his opinion, "bi" is a lable gays use when they're not quite ready to admit their orientation, even to themselves, lol.  I have to admit, I tend to swing both ways myself.

Quote from: Kim Ireland on July 10, 2010, 05:29:56 PM
A gay friend of mine says in his opinion, "bi" is a lable gays use when they're not quite ready to admit their orientation, even to themselves, lol.  I have to admit, I tend to swing both ways myself.

In my opinion bi is someone who likes both genders. Like my bestie wants to be with a male or a female, equally. She likes them both. Then there's people who don't really have a sexuality. They just go out with people because they like them. So maybe bi but not idk lol

Quote from: andthenwekisss on July 10, 2010, 05:45:58 AM
I'm curious, would you date a pre op trans woman? I've been wondering how many guys would be bothered by my lack of a vagina, until I get SRS, which is a few years away for me. If you would date a pre op, I don't think it would make you bi.

actually, id date a pre op. its all in the personality for me. :)

Quote from: WarHeadJoe3 on July 11, 2010, 07:51:27 PM
actually, id date a pre op. its all in the personality for me. :)

Hopefully the guys I meet feel the same way haha. I've just been curious about it lately and your topic seemed like idk. Just thought I'd ask :D

"Just to add confuson, a friend of mine who is a MTF told me that that "she can only love females but like to have sex with both!!!"

That kinda hits home for me. I'm attracted to both, but a lot more likely to develop something significant with another female. Frankly, there are MTF & FTM people I find attractive as well. I'm not hard core into labels, so I really just use "queer" as opposed to "bi" or "lesbian" for the sake of simplifying things.

Quote from: brittanyfear on July 11, 2010, 08:53:06 PM
I'm not hard core into labels, so I really just use "queer" as opposed to "bi" or "lesbian" for the sake of simplifying things.

isnt "queer" a label?

A lot of people will say you are gay or bi for being attracted to trans women but the fact of the matter is, we are women.

Now if you are NOT interested in natal women and only interested in trans women, especially pre-op trans women, than one starts to wonder.....

Quote from: Jerica on July 12, 2010, 03:28:22 PM
A lot of people will say you are gay or bi for being attracted to trans women but the fact of the matter is, we are women.

Now if you are NOT interested in natal women and only interested in trans women, especially pre-op trans women, than one starts to wonder.....

I don't really know how to feel about ->-bleeped-<-s.
One one side I am insulted and on the other I am flatered...
meh whatever

Quote from: cynthialee on July 12, 2010, 03:37:20 PM
I don't really know how to feel about ->-bleeped-<-s.
One one side I am insulted and on the other I am flatered...
meh whatever

I don't know how to feel either. I think it would depend on the situation. He'd have to like me for other reasons too. But I guess in that case he wouldn't be a ->-bleeped-<- right? lol I don't know.

Meh; a ->-bleeped-<- is, to me, a constant reminder of being trans. Not a woman, but trans.
I don't like ->-bleeped-<-s.

Quote from: Dryad on July 13, 2010, 06:12:25 AM
Meh; a ->-bleeped-<- is, to me, a constant reminder of being trans. Not a woman, but trans.
I don't like ->-bleeped-<-s.

Yah if they have a problem with me having surgery then um no thx

I agree with you guys on that! Good way to say it.

Quote from: perlita85 on July 13, 2010, 09:28:59 PM
Sorry about the ignorance, but what or who is a ->-bleeped-<-?

A ->-bleeped-<- is someone who is interested in transsexuals only because they are transsexuals.
Most ->-bleeped-<-s prefer pre-op so you can see why it kinda pisses alot of us off.

To me, if a person questions their sexual orientation, then there is a good chance they are gay or bi. I don't think a "truly" straight man ever asks the question. Then again, I also think there is a little gay in everyone, whether they admit it or not.

I've never had any experience with ->-bleeped-<-s, but I can definitely appreciate the apprehension, and I hope not to have that problem myself.

Quote from: cynthialee on July 13, 2010, 09:39:41 PM
A ->-bleeped-<- is someone who is interested in transsexuals only because they are transsexuals.
Most ->-bleeped-<-s prefer pre-op so you can see why it kinda pisses alot of us off.

Yah essentially, I see them as closeted gay men. They think its not ok to be with a man but its ok to be with a woman who still has a penis.....

Quote from: Jerica on July 14, 2010, 12:04:02 PM
Yah essentially, I see them as closeted gay men. They think its not ok to be with a man but its ok to be with a woman who still has a penis.....

I would wager a good chunk of them are closeted trans.

On the subject of this I mentioned SRS to someone, and they said I shouldn't worry too much about that yet because I might not end up wanting it cuz some guys would want to date a girl with a dick. But for me, I don't even want to use my penis as a boy. I'm not going to want to use it as a girl either!

Quote from: andthenwekisss on July 14, 2010, 08:38:49 PM
On the subject of this I mentioned SRS to someone, and they said I shouldn't worry too much about that yet because I might not end up wanting it cuz some guys would want to date a girl with a dick. But for me, I don't even want to use my penis as a boy. I'm not going to want to use it as a girl either!

Well some people choose not to get SRS. It's everyone's choice....it is your body. It doesnt make you any less of a woman, IMHO. I, myself, have always wanted SRS but I knew that over time that could change. Just keep that in mind and allow yourself to be open to what YOU really want. Should be fine :)

Quote from: Jerica on July 15, 2010, 01:56:12 AM
Well some people choose not to get SRS. It's everyone's choice....it is your body. It doesnt make you any less of a woman, IMHO. I, myself, have always wanted SRS but I knew that over time that could change. Just keep that in mind and allow yourself to be open to what YOU really want. Should be fine :)

I know some choose not too. I definitely think I'll be signing up asap because I've never wanted to use my boy parts during sex or anything! :( I really don't. And I hate having it. I like playing with it but I don't like it any other time lol.

I know how you feel. I can play with myself just fine but when it comes to sex with a man or a woman, and I am attracted to both equally, I've always been too turned off to go very far. I'm just not interested in using my penis sexually.

I'm the same way. I've never been with someone sexually, aside from my bestie kissing me to show me how lol, but whenever I fantasize or just think about sex, I'm never using mine. People are quite shocked that I have NO desire whatsoever to get a ->-bleeped-<- haha. And now knowing I'm trans, and thinking about myself as a woman, I think of someone going down on me having a vagina, rather than a penis, and the idea is amazing to me.