Susan's Place Transgender Resources

AGH. I give up. (Not really, but this is pissing me off) I HATE my face. I can't decide which gender it resembles most, but it certainly ain't male. But it doesn't seem all that female looking either... I've become so damn gender blind when it comes to myself! I went shopping in down town toronto, and only ONCE passed... I just don't get it  :-\ One day I pass almost 24/7, and the next day I pass practically NIL. Am I too short? Is my voice too high? Do i just SUCK at passing? How the hell can I ask my school to refer to my by my male name if I don't pass? I can't... AGH. I need to get some damned hormones!
Cuz no one will really take me seriously if I don't pass...

If that's you in the pic then your face looks fine.  Your hair and clothing are likely more the problem.

Also, hormones are not a 100% passing guarantee.  I've met lots of FTMs with squeaky-high voices, bad hair, bad clothes, and a few where the only reason they passed at all was facial hair.  Mean, but true.  I also don't pass 100%, after several years of transitioning and don't have the benefit of real facial hair.  When I do everything "right" (ie hair clothes etc) then I pass great, when I futz around with my hair and wear a t-shirt I pass less well.  My big positive is my voice, which is in normal male range.

Pass better:
1) Professional preppy haircut.  "Ivy league" aka Anderson Cooper looks the best for rounder faces. 1.5" top 0.5" sides is a good starting place.  Go to a barber if you can rather than a salon.  You could even have the top longer, but be prepared to gel it back or to the side.  Weirdly, I find up is feminizing.
2) Practice your voice.  It's going to be higher than an average bio-guy if you're pre-T and that's okay.
3) Wear button-down shirts.  Better concealment and most ladies don't wear the short-sleeve button-downs.  Clothing tweaks will be your biggest boon.
4) Shave your face.  That fuzzy stuff (if you have it) will make you either look twelve or female.
5) Not passing is not the end of the world!  You will get there and believe me that starting social transition pre-T is really awesome.  Just cut yourself some slack.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.haircutshairstyles.com%2Fimg%2Fphotos%2Ffull%2F2009-01%2Fivy_league_haircut_for_men162.jpg&hash=9bd6fbe81171408ea408712a84bf68870eb0f16b) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmens-haircuts.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F08%2Fbuzz49.jpg&hash=5c10efdd695f691d42bec8fbb2fb9bc5b42e45a6)

Most people say I pass in real life and most of my friends in real life say I pass but also they say there is just certain days where I look like a straight up man.

I just think..Some days are going to be your good days and some aren't. Does it matter what society thinks of you?! Be you. That's who. Hormones, makeup, piercings, clothes, hair, shoes, gloves, socks, shirts and pants and body/facial hair is just 2nd and 3rd rate stuff to amplify WHAT YOU ALREADY ARE not to MAKE YOU INTO SOMETHING YOU AREN'T! (:

yes, it does, but that tends to happen with us, especially when we are just starting off along with any male/female features we got from the wrong puberty, or just who we are as individuals. as long as you have passed, it shows you have potential, so you should not give up. it can be very frustrating, but through this, you will eventually learn more and more about how to blend in with other males. the same goes for a male to female as well. there's certain things you need to learn to go from androgynous to a male, as they are two different gender representations.

Not passing does suck.  And when I do pass people think I'm 13.  I get a lot of looks from young teeny-bopper girls when I present as male.  Which just... isn't what I'm interested in.  :/

Everyone has their bad days, though.

Quote from: aydan_boy on July 17, 2010, 09:41:57 AM
AGH. I give up. (Not really, but this is pissing me off) I HATE my face. I can't decide which gender it resembles most, but it certainly ain't male. But it doesn't seem all that female looking either... I've become so damn gender blind when it comes to myself! I went shopping in down town toronto, and only ONCE passed... I just don't get it  :-\ One day I pass almost 24/7, and the next day I pass practically NIL. Am I too short? Is my voice too high? Do i just SUCK at passing? How the hell can I ask my school to refer to my by my male name if I don't pass? I can't... AGH. I need to get some damned hormones!
Cuz no one will really take me seriously if I don't pass...

Worst part is, even if you pass, you look in the mirror and think you dont.  Remember people look at you different then you look at yourself, you might pass and not even know it, but yeah you have to give the HRT time to work and also get your presentation up to the appropriate gender.

you might pass and not even know it

Conversely, you might think your passing but everyone around you knows anyway.

Quote from: tekla on August 02, 2010, 03:23:42 PM
you might pass and not even know it

Conversely, you might think your passing but everyone around you knows anyway.

that too~

You never know if they really know or they are humoring you.