Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just wondering about this...

I read great stories in the Post-Op forum about girls having great orgasms, and then I get an email from a post-op girlfriend who says hormones took away most of her libido, and surgery did the rest, and she has no interest.  And I'm wondering...

Is it age-related?  Does it relate to libido levels pre-anything?  I've always been very randy, and can't imagine being any other way, even post-transition, so I do hope there is sex post-transition.  I'm 54 now, and will be somewhat older after transition, and I HAVE heard that HRT does knock the libido back a bit, and "a bit" would actually be a blessing, but "all the way" would NOT make me happy.  Can anyone reassure me (or give me the straight facts)?

YMMV
Each of us is an individule with our own unique hormonal needs and pychological baggage.
I am pre-op on HRT for the last almost 9 months. I ussed to have sex or masturbate up to 5 times a day. Now I only have interest when my spouse is trying to seduce me. Rarely will I get horney on my own. I kinda need a jump start now. But since I started E orgasm is absolutely mind blowing. Makes me wonder why I was so opposed to sex in the first place when it happens. :)

It's just like she said. You just can't know how the HRT will affect your sex drive. Everybody reacts in an individual way.  :)

I've been on HRT for 4 years and my hormone levels are those of a biological female now (according to my doctor). My sex drive has remained strong, different but strong and my "part" can still become erect.

But this is what has happened in my case. You won't know until you've started HRT.

Well my measured T. level after 30 years is pretty darned low, but I have an adequate Libido. I am not a five times a day person by any means, but once a week or more I can and indeed do get frisky without any problem at all.

So basically as others have said YMMV - you really are the only benchmark for you.

It's actually a bit of a nuanced subject.

I had lost interest in having sex (on the whole, anyway) "as a man" several years before starting HRT. So when my sex *urges* died off almost entirely over the first few weeks of treatment, it simply boosted my quality of life.

Pre HRT sex drive equal to or less than 0....
Post HRT sex drive equal to or greater than extremely frustrating LoL

My sex drive is completely different from a mans... I react differently. It takes longer to become aroused (It doesn't really work but that doesn't bother me at all) It takes forever for someone to turn me on, Yes I said someone, I can't do it myself... and it takes even longer to turn it back off... I usually end up having to take cold showers or I feel like I'm boiling from the inside out.

It may be age related, or genetics, or the type of HRT your taking. Ive noticed those of us taking P have a higher drive than those who don't.

It depends entirely on the person. Both yourself, and your partner.

I have basically 0 sex drive by myself, usually. When I take progesterone, it can go up (it competes with estrogen and can raise T a little, but if you are on full HRT it won't make a difference) and some days I'm just horny... everyone has that.

I actually really like that I don't feel the need to do myself off 3-5 times a day anymore. I had a ridiculous sex drive when I was younger. I like not being horny all the time.

That said, when my girlfriend goes for the back of my neck, or massages my breasts... I'm awake.

Now erections are hard to maintain, fluctuate quite a bit from session to session, during session, etc. Generally if I'm not wearing underwear, or inside my partner, I'm not going to be remotely erect for long. Sometimes I can't stay hard enough for penetration. Sometimes I can't finish. For the most part, it works. Oral does virtually nothing for me, but only one person has ever made me come orally more than once, and only one other person ever got me off orally (and that was back before ANY aa drugs, let alone HRT.)

I stopped ejaculating a long time ago, with one or two freak episodes in the last year... as well as one day where I had a few spontaneous erections (ruined my day), but neither are something that really should happen. Eventually you will just produce simple clear fluid only.

Autumn;
Try c**k rings. They will make erections last a bit longer and make them stronger somewhat.

I agree that for each person their mileage may vary.

I will say that for me it does take a bit of "priming the engine", but once the engines is primed it's off to
the races.

My problem is that I'm always caught up with work, or that I have so many things on my mind, that sex is
not on the agenda.

It's good though when I am in a relationship, as that person causes me to re-focus on my libidinal
concerns.

I have found that my auto stimulation or spontaneous arousal has dropped immensely at the same my psychological sexuality has been heightened. In other words, I'm not turned on by visual stimulation near as much as I am emotional stimulation.

Seeing a guy naked does next to nothing for me but having him hold me and caress or express his physical and romantic attraction to me gets me a bit tingly in the nether regions.  I've been on HRT for over 2 years.

Looking back over the years, my libido has largely reflected how I felt about myself and my overall physical fitness with hormones playing a minor role.

Pre SRS and transition, the drive was there but I wouldn't do anything about it because my body didn't fit the urges.

Post SRS and transition (age 24), being young, feeling good about myself, and being in good shape, my libido was over the top - probably a large measure of "making up for lost time" as well.

Through a lengthy marriage and coming to feel like I was being used, my libido tanked and stayed that way for many years.

In my 50's, feeling good about myself and being active again my libido returned with a vengeance! A few years later I was an endo to get my hormones back in order and asked if the increased oestrogen levels could explain my rekindled urges. (When she got done laughing) she explained that it has a lot more to do with what is going on in your mind than with hormones.

So now in my 60's my libido is back to that of a teenager ..... oh joy ROFLMAO!

I'm in the same situation, after not taking any hormones properly for a few years.  My libido is definitely on the up swing after taking them for the past couple of years.

So hormones or the endorphins from exercise, affect brain (maybe makes you happy ) which then affects libido.  Go figure.  Does not matter, boyfriends happy and content and that is what makes me happy.

So I do not think your thinking on this issue Northern Jane is far of the mark.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Thanks, girls, I feel a bit better now, although the constant message of "YMMV" to pretty much any question is really disconcerting, but I get it, everyone is different.  That's what makes this life of ours so difficult.  I was thanking my "local" post-op GF (I've never met her, but she is a rock and a font of knowledge) for some particularly great advice she had given me regarding next steps and medical care, and she said that we TG's need to be very well informed, much more so than the general population, because if we're seeing a doctor, we might be the only TG that doctor ever sees.  So we have to do our research and be able to give the facts to anyone (professional or otherwise) who needs them and doesn't have them.  This is just basic self-care, and very common-sense.  Which is why I am SO glad to have a place like this, where I can ask ANYTHING, and get a good range of answers.  Thank you!