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Title: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: arrugalator on July 25, 2010, 08:25:38 AM
Post by: arrugalator on July 25, 2010, 08:25:38 AM
Hi. Uh... I don't want to give out my name just in case, so Arrugalator/Arru is fine :D
I'm 18 years old, physically female, but I've never been really... sure of my gender. As a kid I was a tomboy; always wanted to play male characters in games of make-believe, etc. To this day I'm still the same way- in drama class I always wanted to play guys, stuff like that. I don't like being called a girl either. When I was about 14 I started questioning my gender, but it died down for a while, showing up once in a while but not for very long.
For months now the questioning has come back, and I don't know what to consider myself. Sometimes I'm okay with myself as a woman but most of the time I'm not... But the idea of completely transitioning seems so extreme for me. Maybe it's just a lack of self-confidence or I'm just not sure yet, or both... no clue. I guess the way I think of myself is a gay boy in a woman's body. I don't really have a masculine personality or anything either, I just... feel a lot of the time like I wish I was a guy. Guh! I suck at expressing this XD
So anyway, here I am and I'm glad to find a forum I can express myself in and hopefully make some new friends <3
I'm 18 years old, physically female, but I've never been really... sure of my gender. As a kid I was a tomboy; always wanted to play male characters in games of make-believe, etc. To this day I'm still the same way- in drama class I always wanted to play guys, stuff like that. I don't like being called a girl either. When I was about 14 I started questioning my gender, but it died down for a while, showing up once in a while but not for very long.
For months now the questioning has come back, and I don't know what to consider myself. Sometimes I'm okay with myself as a woman but most of the time I'm not... But the idea of completely transitioning seems so extreme for me. Maybe it's just a lack of self-confidence or I'm just not sure yet, or both... no clue. I guess the way I think of myself is a gay boy in a woman's body. I don't really have a masculine personality or anything either, I just... feel a lot of the time like I wish I was a guy. Guh! I suck at expressing this XD
So anyway, here I am and I'm glad to find a forum I can express myself in and hopefully make some new friends <3
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: LivingInGrey on July 25, 2010, 08:31:45 AM
Post by: LivingInGrey on July 25, 2010, 08:31:45 AM
Hey Arru.
Some of us here are in the same situation your in right now. I have grown up as a male, and have hated most every day of it. Some days I can be just fine, others make me so angry I could burst. Because of situations in my life I wont be able to transition so I have to learn how to cope with what I hate.
Sometimes just talking with others that understand is comfort enough. Or, after spending some time here you might just think that transitioning is the right thing.
Good luck. Welcome to Susans.
Some of us here are in the same situation your in right now. I have grown up as a male, and have hated most every day of it. Some days I can be just fine, others make me so angry I could burst. Because of situations in my life I wont be able to transition so I have to learn how to cope with what I hate.
Sometimes just talking with others that understand is comfort enough. Or, after spending some time here you might just think that transitioning is the right thing.
Good luck. Welcome to Susans.
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: confused on July 25, 2010, 08:55:07 AM
Post by: confused on July 25, 2010, 08:55:07 AM
hello Arru,
a lot of people don't necessarily fully transition , you'll find lots of those in the androgyne forums , others become affected by years of repressing themselves and enforcing their bio-gender over themselves but after a while of freeing mind of that i think they often know for sure what they want
i strongly believe gender is a full spectrum with male and female at the terminals and that very few those who perfectly match either terminals and that's for everybody , it's just that sometimes a person's physical point on the spectrum doesn't match the actual/brain point
anyway , welcome and good luck ^_^
a lot of people don't necessarily fully transition , you'll find lots of those in the androgyne forums , others become affected by years of repressing themselves and enforcing their bio-gender over themselves but after a while of freeing mind of that i think they often know for sure what they want
i strongly believe gender is a full spectrum with male and female at the terminals and that very few those who perfectly match either terminals and that's for everybody , it's just that sometimes a person's physical point on the spectrum doesn't match the actual/brain point
anyway , welcome and good luck ^_^
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: Samantha_Marie on July 25, 2010, 09:40:01 AM
Post by: Samantha_Marie on July 25, 2010, 09:40:01 AM
Hi and welcome!
It's rough, I know I understand, as do so many others. I was you 10 years ago, and after having spent the last bit trying to live my life as I was born can no longer do it and HATE the lost time. I just recently decided I have to take the necessary steps to realign my body and mind. I hope and pray you find the answers you are looking for here.
Samantha
It's rough, I know I understand, as do so many others. I was you 10 years ago, and after having spent the last bit trying to live my life as I was born can no longer do it and HATE the lost time. I just recently decided I have to take the necessary steps to realign my body and mind. I hope and pray you find the answers you are looking for here.
Samantha
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: jainie marlena on July 25, 2010, 09:56:45 AM
Post by: jainie marlena on July 25, 2010, 09:56:45 AM
Hi, Arru
hang around here and I think that it will make more sense to you. it does to me now.
hang around here and I think that it will make more sense to you. it does to me now.
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: April Dawne on July 25, 2010, 10:01:43 AM
Post by: April Dawne on July 25, 2010, 10:01:43 AM
Welcome Arru! Glad you are here and hope to get to know you as you get things figured out for yourself! There are a lot of really great people here =]
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: Janet_Girl on July 25, 2010, 03:34:50 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on July 25, 2010, 03:34:50 PM
Hi Arru, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 5300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 5300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: arrugalator on July 25, 2010, 05:58:11 PM
Post by: arrugalator on July 25, 2010, 05:58:11 PM
Thanks a lot everyone :) I feel a little better already just being here.
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: Lacey Lynne on July 28, 2010, 11:29:56 PM
Post by: Lacey Lynne on July 28, 2010, 11:29:56 PM
Arru:
Hey!
This website has tons and tons of good information for you. Check it out as much as you want to. Got a question? You'll find answers here or somebody who can lead you to an answer.
You didn't ask for this, but may an older gal give you one piece of advice?
Here it is:
Take your time making a decision about what to do about your gender feelings.
You are quite young. Read the information here. Chat with anybody here you like. Learn ... talk ... think. You'll be well informed then and can follow your heart having accurate information about what you want to do.
Man, I'm hoping for the best for you. Welcome!
:) Lacey Lynne
Hey!
This website has tons and tons of good information for you. Check it out as much as you want to. Got a question? You'll find answers here or somebody who can lead you to an answer.
You didn't ask for this, but may an older gal give you one piece of advice?
Here it is:
Take your time making a decision about what to do about your gender feelings.
You are quite young. Read the information here. Chat with anybody here you like. Learn ... talk ... think. You'll be well informed then and can follow your heart having accurate information about what you want to do.
Man, I'm hoping for the best for you. Welcome!
:) Lacey Lynne
Title: Re: Hi from the extremely lost one
Post by: JudahLiam on July 29, 2010, 12:08:04 AM
Post by: JudahLiam on July 29, 2010, 12:08:04 AM
Welcome, I'm new here as well but everyone is really great. It's good to have people that understand to talk to, and the forums are full of useful info :)