Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been thinking about it a lot, and I've realized over time that I think I was born female instead of male for a reason, instead of it just being a mistake. Because of being born female, I actually look good as a guy. I look like a pretty guy. And given the history of males on each side of the family, I have a feeling that if I was born male I wouldn't be very attractive. Being attractive may not seem like it is as important as being the right gender, but for me it's just as important. Because I'm obsessed with beauty (this is a trait that is common for people with the same zodiac sign as me), I think I would be even more unhappy if I had been un-attractive. I know this probably won't make any sense for a lot of you, cause a lot of people care more about their gender than their appearance, but I care about both equally I think.

Have any of you ever thought that you were transsexual for a reason? if so, what do you think the reason was?

That's a very interesting way to think about it... I haven't thought about it much, but maybe there is a reason.

And i get appearance being just as important as gender to you, i'm sort of the same way :x

Sure, it taught me to appreciate being a woman all the more! Also I learned quickly what I hated about living in my other mode-like facial hair and a gross voice ???

I would say, however, as much as I would have liked having a more normal life path, this one has been fulfilling and unique. I am a proud parent, and can say that I have experienced some things in life that most women never would imagine. Having the chance to live half your life in one social gender, and now another, is quite a privilege.

This has not been an easy road, but it has been mine. And for that, I'm grateful.

I was thinking maybe my mind and body developed in different directions...that's why I'm trans!

Most people I know who ask what you're asking are thinking of some "higher purpose" or spiritual reason. That doesn't seem the case here. So I'm actually not sure I understand your question/reason. You seem to be saying that you were born trans so that you could be a good-looking man, because attractiveness is important to you?

I certainly don't think anything like that about myself. I just am what I am. Yam. Whatever. (And I'm definitely not good-looking. I might have been if I'd transitioned earlier, but now? Not so much. As Finnegan says to Captain Kirk, "Look at you! You're an old man!")

I am christian, and I often think god made me a female at birth so I can learn how to understand and appreciate girls, and then be the boy I was meant to be when I'm ready, which is now. It's been a while since I thought about that.

I've thought about this a lot and also spoke to my partner about it. I've come to the conclusion that I was born this way because it is a learning experience and that this is one of my big challenges in life. Everyone has a set of challenges they are born with and they are all different and some are more 'unique' than others. I think that the challenges we faces as transgendered people are a bit more unique but no 'better' or worse than any other sets of challenges.

I also believe in fate and that I think me and my partner were meant to be (but I don't believe in a 'one and only true love' kind of thing). I just believe that you are fated to meet some people and I was fated to meet and be with my partner. Also that part of his challenge in life was to meet a transgendered person and come to better understand people like myself and that we have another set of challenges -together- than if we were apart.

I think it's something like that, the wording might be a little off, it's kind of hard to put into words.

Ha, a better looking dude ... I never thought about it that way.

I'm kinda with @Phate in that I think I was born the way I was as a life experience. I could only imagine what my life would have been like "normal". Actually I think it would have been pretty mundane and boring. And not everyone is lucky enough to be able to see life from two perspectives. So that's what I like to think.

Even though I'm a pretty religious person, I don't mean Christian, I don't usually attribute many things to the workings of a higher power.  Being trans however, I do believe happened for a reason, despite the hardships it brings and I believe it will bring great happiness for me in the future. 
I will admit, I do relish the fact that when I do pass, I find people see me as a pretty boy.  It does strokes one's ego and I kinda take what I can get.

You know, I don't even believe in the Zodiac (Well, I believe in the constelation belt but you know what I mean) and yet I'm the perfect Aquarius.

Seriously, go read it, it's like reading my biography. o.o

Quote from: Heartwood on August 18, 2010, 12:19:35 AM
You know, I don't even believe in the Zodiac (Well, I believe in the constelation belt but you know what I mean) and yet I'm the perfect Aquarius.

Seriously, go read it, it's like reading my biography. o.o

I used to not believe in the zodiac, until I read about libra. It said everything correctly about me. and now I read about people's zodiac after I'm friends with them and it always describes them perfectly or close to it.

I have also thought about this some. Asked things like "WHY? Why was i made this way?" And I think one of the things is like is said here...it was a learning experience and also a way to make me the man that I needed to be. To know what it's like to be a woman and to be able to treat women with the respect that they deserve. I also think that having my sons was a major part of it. If I hadn't been born in a female body, I don't think I would have had such wonderful sons.

Quote from: ZomZom on August 18, 2010, 01:27:39 AM
I used to not believe in the zodiac, until I read about libra. It said everything correctly about me. and now I read about people's zodiac after I'm friends with them and it always describes them perfectly or close to it.

Heh heh, I'm a libra too.  Inherent narcissism is kinda strong amongst our zodiac group  ;)

Quote from: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 01:46:07 AM
Heh heh, I'm a libra too.  Inherent narcissism is kinda strong amongst our zodiac group  ;)

*Waves* Another Libra here!

Quote from: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 01:46:07 AM
Heh heh, I'm a libra too.  Inherent narcissism is kinda strong amongst our zodiac group  ;)

I feel stupid for saying this, but I don't know what that is XD what is it?

I always wondered why I'm like this and finally found a satisfying explanation.

In heaven, they have a factory where they build babies. One step of the process at the assembly line is, you have the complete body and put the brain into the baby's head. Well when my body was there, the person at the assembly line sneezed and dropped a male brain into a female body. The assembly line went too fast to change it back.

And the point of being trans is the unique experience you get from it, and the challenge and big chance to find the right place for yourself. Best thing about being trans (or genderqueer) is you might (!) learn to think about social roles and pick out what suits you best instead of stubbornly following what society expects from you. It is a unique gift which can give you a lot of flexibility and make you very open-minded.

For a few years I thought that it was all terrible mistake and a real pain that didn't do me any good. But eventualy I came to the conclusion that I have been born like this for a reason. As Bones said, I've learned to treat women with the respect that they deserve and I understand them better. I can see things from two perspectives and I'm sure that was a gift I was meant to have. (Or maybe thats just because I'm a gemini)

And BTW ZomZom, narcissism means vanity, essentialy. It's a word that comes from the greek legend of the demi-god narcissis, who fell in love with himself when he looked at his reflection.  ;D

My feelings are that every experience in life we should/have to take hold of and run with them. There are positives and negatives about every experience. What do we make of them?

I totally love being female. I am very happy with my gender. Not happy about the unresolved but largely cosmetic changes, in fact very unhappy about them :laugh:. Once they are fixed I will forever be disappointed that I could not and at my age, never will, have children. But I will not that rule my life.

A few weeks ago I had the realization that I was female. OK known it since birth, walked the walk and talked the talk. But then I became female totally in my brain.

What was the reason? To help others, yes. To live my life? To experience the highs and lows. To be me.

Yes this might be a strange answer; To be me.


Cindy

I agree with CindyJames, sometimes you just gotta run with what you have.

I also think that there was a reason I was born this way. I think going through all these really trying experiences have just solidified me and allowed me to looked inward a lot from a young age. I probably know what I want better than most people my age because of it.

I don't believe there is a reason. I'm not that kind of person.

I simply believe my body and brain went down different routes in the womb. There is no real reason for it.

Quote from: ZomZom on August 18, 2010, 02:00:03 AM
I feel stupid for saying this, but I don't know what that is XD what is it?

Nah, don't feel stupid.  Libra's tend to love all that is beautiful , lovely, harmonious, etc.  By nature we also want to be or are romantic, charming and sociable people.  So we tend to want ourselves pretty or handsome as well, and when we feel we are take quite the inner joy in it.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, unless one becomes way too self-indulgent which can happen, after all, Libras do like to indulge and are easily susceptible to extravagance... *looks over at my pile of hair products*

Capricorn fits me to the core...and I'm a Capricorn.

Anyway, if I had to pin a reason to be born female it would be to give me challenges to overcome and to hopefully to be more open-minded and not so negative with other people....And to learn a sense of a style because guys here seem to be lacking it.

OP: what's your sign?

I'm pretty keen on astrology. I have my sign tattooed on my arm with with words "nothing gold can stay". I'm a virgo on a leo cusp with a scorpio ascendant. i'll know you're into astrology if you have any remote idea what that means :)

I guess I knwo there's a reason. I'm not at all religious. i'm into wicca/pagan stuff and believe in alot of stuff tied to that. If I was born cisgendered I probably would be an ignorant gay-phobic person. But I'm not, and it's mostly cause of being gay and trans myself. Idk. Doesn't stop me from wishing I was born cisgendered though.

Quote from: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 10:41:10 AM
Nah, don't feel stupid.  Libra's tend to love all that is beautiful , lovely, harmonious, etc.  By nature we also want to be or are romantic, charming and sociable people.  So we tend to want ourselves pretty or handsome as well, and when we feel we are take quite the inner joy in it.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, unless one becomes way too self-indulgent which can happen, after all, Libras do like to indulge and are easily susceptible to extravagance... *looks over at my pile of hair products*

I love it when I feel good about the way I look XD but unfortunately that's a bit uncommon for me. I've heard that a lot of libras focus on the things they like about themselves, but I do the opposite and focus on the things that are wrong with me. I'm glad I don't love extravagance that much, that would get expensive in a hurry lol

Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on August 18, 2010, 11:09:15 AM
OP: what's your sign?

I'm pretty keen on astrology. I have my sign tattooed on my arm with with words "nothing gold can stay". I'm a virgo on a leo cusp with a scorpio ascendant. i'll know you're into astrology if you have any remote idea what that means :)

I guess I knwo there's a reason. I'm not at all religious. i'm into wicca/pagan stuff and believe in alot of stuff tied to that. If I was born cisgendered I probably would be an ignorant gay-phobic person. But I'm not, and it's mostly cause of being gay and trans myself. Idk. Doesn't stop me from wishing I was born cisgendered though.

I don't know what 'leo cusp' is, so if you could explain that I would appreciate it. =) and when you say scorpio ascendant, you mean that's your ascending sign right?

I am a strong believer in biological influences. In school I am a psychology major and a biology minor, and basically I want to study the way biology influences behavior.

From what has already been researched, I have read that some theories believe that transsexualism is caused by hormonal imbalances in the womb, particularly while the brain is developing. Spiritually, I believe that I was born into a female body to prove that even God makes mistakes. I mean, he created us in his image , right?

Quote from: ZomZom on August 18, 2010, 02:12:49 PM
I love it when I feel good about the way I look XD but unfortunately that's a bit uncommon for me.

Not to get too personal, but you look fine dude.  Naw- I know what it's like to focus on the negatives, I mean, I was in therapy for it for years.  I've actually had to learn how to appreciate myself more and let myself feel good.  By the way, I like your hair.

Quote from: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 10:13:42 PM
Not to get too personal, but you look fine dude.  Naw- I know what it's like to focus on the negatives, I mean, I was in therapy for it for years.  I've actually had to learn how to appreciate myself more and let myself feel good.  By the way, I like your hair.

Thanks =] so did therapy help for you? I'm thinking part of my problem is that I'm a teenager, mixed with the fact that I'm trans, so then I start focusing on the worst things about myself. And assuming that's a picture of you you're using, you are man-pretty. If you talked to my female friends, I bet alot of them would become fangirls of you lol does that creep you out? I hope so XD

Quote from: ZomZom on August 19, 2010, 12:08:30 AM
Thanks =] so did therapy help for you? I'm thinking part of my problem is that I'm a teenager, mixed with the fact that I'm trans, so then I start focusing on the worst things about myself. And assuming that's a picture of you you're using, you are man-pretty. If you talked to my female friends, I bet alot of them would become fangirls of you lol does that creep you out? I hope so XD

I had a pretty good therapist so she helped me out a lot, when I needed it.  This was when I was a teenager myself, and I found that "the best" way to deal with my anger was to project it into inwardly into masochism.  Teenage years suck lots.

Yeah, that is my own pic. Thx, heh heh.  I wouldn't say creeped out... more- cautiously intrigued while quite certain that I'll get a lot of bad jokes from my friends about leading on jail bait

Quote from: JosephKT on August 19, 2010, 12:58:07 AM
I had a pretty good therapist so she helped me out a lot, when I needed it.  This was when I was a teenager myself, and I found that "the best" way to deal with my anger was to project it into inwardly into masochism.  Teenage years suck lots.

Yeah, that is my own pic. Thx, heh heh.  I wouldn't say creeped out... more- cautiously intrigued while quite certain that I'll get a lot of bad jokes from my friends about leading on jail bait

I'm hoping to get a therapist next spring. But my mom pretty much says there's nothing wrong with me whenever I think there is, so I don't know how likely it is that I will get a therapist XD so how old are you?

Quote from: ZomZom on August 18, 2010, 02:15:32 PM
I don't know what 'leo cusp' is, so if you could explain that I would appreciate it. =) and when you say scorpio ascendant, you mean that's your ascending sign right?

Yes, that's my ascending sign. On the cusp means born a few days before or after the beginning or end of one sign. I was born a couple days into Virgo.

I've never gotten much into star signs and all that because mine is completely wrong for me.  I was born on a cusp too though, and the other sign is very much like me.  Anyway...  lol

Quote from: Nathan. on August 18, 2010, 05:48:45 AM
I don't believe there is a reason. I'm not that kind of person.

I simply believe my body and brain went down different routes in the womb. There is no real reason for it.

Me too.  While it's allowed me to see the world from a view most people don't, I don't think there was any special reason it happened.  It just did.

That is an interesting question and it is equally interesting to read the responses.

Personally, I don't believe that life has a particular, predetermined purpose.  It just is, in all its random, unintelligible glory.  I also don't believe that the world is divided into twelve different types of people with similar personalities and destinies, determined by whenever our mothers happened to give birth to us.  But that is me.

However, it is what you do with that chaos that makes the difference.  So, if we view ->-bleeped-<- as being a biological mistake or a divine joke, we are likely to feel pretty despondant.  However, your view that you are transgendered to enable you to become an attractive man is far nore positive.  And if one can view the situation as an opportunity to learn something important, even better!

We are all in the same boat, but it really helps to believe that we are actually heading somewhere in it.

Okay here comes a more serious approach from me, after my silly baby factory posting - and you asked for reasons, not for purpose:

The reason or at least influences, I think, is that my mom had very weird sex hormone levels which made her infertile. She has dominant brow bones, a square jawline, a prominent nose, very large shoulder bones, hips so small only a cesarian could get me out, etc. I would suspect her to be an MTF if I didn't know any better. Honestly. So I think her problem was too much testosterone in her system since at least start of puberty. I showed pictures of her to some of my trans friends, and they were like - HORMONE PROBLEM!!! She took female hormones since about 20, so her appearance became somewhat more female.

My parents tried to get my mom pregnant for years without success (and I guess they really tried hard  ;D). At that time, a new experimental hormonal medicine was developped, which could make women like my mom fertile. She was one of the few guinea pigs who used it before it was officially thrown on the market.My parents had to make scheduled sex for three years so they did not miss the moments when my mom was most fertile, it was always a few hours at a time then several weeks no chance of reproducing. This scheduled sex was annoying, they told me - I really understand that. Then came one miscarriage with twin boys, which is very sad. Losing two at a time must be horrible.

And tadaaa - then she got pregnant with me. A cute little girl *ahem*

She had to stop the hormones as soon as the tests were positive as it was unknown whether the hormones would lead to a miscarriage or freak (she made these tests often). I guess it's not this medicine which made me as queer as a 3-dollar-bill, but her hormone levels got back to her previous natural high testosterone level and had their effect on my brain and may have made me both trans and bi. Or I inherited her weird natural hormonal balance and it had stronger effects on me than on her. Or both effects were added, which I think is the most probable explanation. (Though I think biological influences don't explain everything.) And maybe it even had a slight effect on my body in the womb though it does not qualify me as intersex. Let me explain that...

This means, when I sit straight to pee on the loo, the stream of urine goes straight forward though meanwhile it goes against my dicklit and gets detracted downwards. I have to bend over on the loo in order not to cause a mess. When I was a baby, my parents and babysitters joked about me peeing like a boy as when you laid me down on the back, the urine stream went high into the air. I once had a short affair with a medical scientist,  and he was totally astouned when he saw my plumbings and went like "Huh???" Because my urethral opening is right behind my clit, not an inch behind it. He even told me what puzzled him though the situation was really not appropriate at that moment and he was obviously not in the mood for medical comments but horny as hell... So this might be due to a hormonal imbalance in the womb, but might also be normal human variation unrelated to any intersex stuff, I don't know. Otherwise, I'm typically female there or at least used to be until injected testosterone had its effects (clit growth hooray).

I even inherited my mom's natural hormonal balance, had taken female hormones since teenage years so that I did not become masculine. I hated taking these pills, but before I had a period which was only a spotting but three weeks out of four and that had freaked me out. The pills helped me have my period not all the time... I stopped them one year before going to a therapist to get me on T and guess what? The spotting problem was not that extreme any more, I grew body hair and muscles, my fat distribution changed and after one year, I started having a breaking of the voice, the period became rare. Really. It was a blessing. But the changes were much slower than on testo. So I went to a gender therapist for a year to get his approval for testosterone.

I'm not sad about the testosterone effects on my brain in the womb at all, as I like being who I am, even if it causes a lot of stress sometimes. I mean, somehow I'm a freak, but that does not make me less adorable than anyone else. I could never ever imagine me feeling I am female. I would also miss being bi a lot as I always imagine being monosexual must be horribly weird and boring (in case my bisexuality was also caused or influenced by the testosterone rush in the womb).

Short answer; No.

The thing is, I don't believe in "reasons" as such.
I don't believe that there's an external entity or force that dictates what my life will or will not entail in such a manner.
I don't believe in an omnipotent creator. I don't believe in "fate" other than "causality" (roughly).

So no.
Nothing made me trans to teach me a lesson. Nothing assigned this "fate" to me.

I'm a christian and I think god wanted me to be female for a number of reasons, they are to complicated to explain. I love astrology, I'm an Aries.

Quote from: Miniar on August 19, 2010, 07:06:17 PM
Short answer; No.

The thing is, I don't believe in "reasons" as such.
I don't believe that there's an external entity or force that dictates what my life will or will not entail in such a manner.
I don't believe in an omnipotent creator. I don't believe in "fate" other than "causality" (roughly).

So no.
Nothing made me trans to teach me a lesson. Nothing assigned this "fate" to me.

I just wanted to say that I agree with you 100% here.

I also think astrology is a bunch of crap.

For a while I thought being born female was my fault, somehow. That something was punishing me for.. whatever I'm doing wrong. Now, I don't believe in God or anything, but I'm not against some sort of higher power, maybe.
Anyway, now that I've grown a bit, I realize that being trans isn't my fault and thinking that is kinda silly, lmao.

I am an areligious atheist, so I figure it's just a major biological mistake somewhere on some level.

If there was a god or some sentient force behind the universe though, I'd figure it was a practical joke and it's laughing it's ass off at my misfortune. I really couldn't look more female and the steps I take toward trying to look male make me look weird instead.

I absolutely believe it happened for a reason, but that's how I am about everything.

If I hadn't been born female, and if my girlfriend, Elaine, hadn't been born male, we would have never met. I would have never been given the lenience about school, so I would have never been put in private school, I would have never met my friend Amanda who would have never introduced me to her ex-boyfriend Josh who introduced me to Elaine. Even if I had transferred to the private school as a guy, I probably wouldn't have been friends, or as close of friends, with Amanda. And Elaine wouldn't have been friends with Josh, because Josh didn't have any girl friends (Just girlfriends lol) Also, he would have had no reason to introduce her to me, because she wouldn't have been so depressed about her ex girlfriend who abused her.

And if I hadn't met Elaine, I may have never figured out that I was trans. She was the one who saw a special about it on PBS and told me about it, which got me thinking. And she would have committed suicide, because when I met her, she was about to. Maybe I was meant to save her? I dunno. Either way, I'm grateful to be who I am. It sucks alot, but it also has led me down a very interesting path of life.

Quote from: Phate on August 17, 2010, 11:10:35 PM
I've thought about this a lot and also spoke to my partner about it. I've come to the conclusion that I was born this way because it is a learning experience and that this is one of my big challenges in life. Everyone has a set of challenges they are born with and they are all different and some are more 'unique' than others. I think that the challenges we faces as transgendered people are a bit more unique but no 'better' or worse than any other sets of challenges.

This pretty much exactly sums up my take on the topic. I like to think that being trans gives me a perspective that cis people don't share. Not to say that it's better or worse, just that it's unique to being trans. There are perspectives out there (and lessons as well) that I won't encounter in my life (or just haven't yet), but these ones are mine and are a part of what makes me uniquely me. :)

i agree with whoever said it may have made them more appreciative of women, only i thought of it a few days ago or something like that. maybe if i were born male I'd be a total pig, obnoxious and all, this way i have empathy, sympathy I'm polite and gentle instead of a brute. and someday some girlfriend or wife will be complaining about her period - I'll say "jeez tell me about it, I'm soooo glad i don't get those anymore." or how society sees women as less than men I'll be like 'yeah, i know how that is too."