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Title: <insert witty, yet desprate title here>
Post by: Astarielle on August 18, 2010, 09:51:12 PM
Post by: Astarielle on August 18, 2010, 09:51:12 PM
Hello...erm...people?
Call me Astarielle, or Star. I'm in a bind. Roughly a year ago I ran into some transgenders on the internet. Note I'm kinda shy IRL, so most of my friends are on the internet. Anyway, I hung out with them, started really talking to them. The topic finally came up and several of them expressed feeling about my feelings that there was a possibility that I could be transgendered myself.
Well, that started off a bit of a whirlwind. Let's get back to the basics.
I'm 21, biologically, I'm a male, and raised in a Mormon household. In 2003ish, I picked up a game called Pokemon Crystal, and decided to give the female character a shot. Over the next few years, that became my "thing", playing as the girl on Pokemon and later various other games. It quickly spread out to where I was pretending to be a girl on the internet half the time, and getting a little kick out of it. It's not that I enjoyed tricking people, I felt bad about that part. But I did enjoy the role of the girl.
I'll confess, I even considered the idea of being a girl myself, I do like a lot of girly things. But that's normal for a young man, and this is where it gets prickly. I'm not sure if I'm really transgendered or just being my usual loopy self. I want to be a girl, yes, but I don't need to be. I don't have a hatred for my own body. Honestly, outside of a couple isolated incidents, before I met these people, I hadn't spent much time on the idea of being a girl IRL, since I didn't think it was possible for me. I'm really not sure what to do. I want to explore this, but I don't know if it's right for me or how to even begin.
Call me Astarielle, or Star. I'm in a bind. Roughly a year ago I ran into some transgenders on the internet. Note I'm kinda shy IRL, so most of my friends are on the internet. Anyway, I hung out with them, started really talking to them. The topic finally came up and several of them expressed feeling about my feelings that there was a possibility that I could be transgendered myself.
Well, that started off a bit of a whirlwind. Let's get back to the basics.
I'm 21, biologically, I'm a male, and raised in a Mormon household. In 2003ish, I picked up a game called Pokemon Crystal, and decided to give the female character a shot. Over the next few years, that became my "thing", playing as the girl on Pokemon and later various other games. It quickly spread out to where I was pretending to be a girl on the internet half the time, and getting a little kick out of it. It's not that I enjoyed tricking people, I felt bad about that part. But I did enjoy the role of the girl.
I'll confess, I even considered the idea of being a girl myself, I do like a lot of girly things. But that's normal for a young man, and this is where it gets prickly. I'm not sure if I'm really transgendered or just being my usual loopy self. I want to be a girl, yes, but I don't need to be. I don't have a hatred for my own body. Honestly, outside of a couple isolated incidents, before I met these people, I hadn't spent much time on the idea of being a girl IRL, since I didn't think it was possible for me. I'm really not sure what to do. I want to explore this, but I don't know if it's right for me or how to even begin.
Title: Re: <insert witty, yet desprate title here>
Post by: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 10:50:53 PM
Post by: JosephKT on August 18, 2010, 10:50:53 PM
Hey Star,
I'm pretty new here myself but I hope I can help. I'm kinda get the feeling my experience is kinda the inverse of yours. I'm biologically female, but feel very much that I am male. I didn't feel that I may have been transgendered until about senior year of high school, until then I reasoned by quriks (wanting to be in a boy band, playing almost only male characters in video games, being far more interested in entertainment geared towards men) for other reasons. Now I can see I had many alerts that I am transgendered, but it was a pretty steady change really.
Really, I worked with what my feelings were and experimented with cross-dressing cautiously and steadily as I became more curious of my feelings. As I did, I realized I felt much more comfortable as a man than as a woman, but didn't know if I just liked cross-dressing or I was transgendered. It took years, but I've come to accept I am in fact transgendered and despite the hardships it's made me happier about myself. This may seem funny, but I found pen and paper role-playing as male characters really helped me figure the "masculine side of my personality" I didn't realize I had.
Sounds like you're just at the starting to explore part of things. Hang on, it can be quite a ride ;)
I'm pretty new here myself but I hope I can help. I'm kinda get the feeling my experience is kinda the inverse of yours. I'm biologically female, but feel very much that I am male. I didn't feel that I may have been transgendered until about senior year of high school, until then I reasoned by quriks (wanting to be in a boy band, playing almost only male characters in video games, being far more interested in entertainment geared towards men) for other reasons. Now I can see I had many alerts that I am transgendered, but it was a pretty steady change really.
Really, I worked with what my feelings were and experimented with cross-dressing cautiously and steadily as I became more curious of my feelings. As I did, I realized I felt much more comfortable as a man than as a woman, but didn't know if I just liked cross-dressing or I was transgendered. It took years, but I've come to accept I am in fact transgendered and despite the hardships it's made me happier about myself. This may seem funny, but I found pen and paper role-playing as male characters really helped me figure the "masculine side of my personality" I didn't realize I had.
Sounds like you're just at the starting to explore part of things. Hang on, it can be quite a ride ;)
Title: Re: <insert witty, yet desprate title here>
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 18, 2010, 11:37:07 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on August 18, 2010, 11:37:07 PM
Hi Star, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 5600 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
First thing you need to do is find a Gender Therapist. And even if you are not Transgender, you are still family now.
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 5600 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
First thing you need to do is find a Gender Therapist. And even if you are not Transgender, you are still family now.
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Title: Re: <insert witty, yet desprate title here>
Post by: mjr on August 19, 2010, 06:35:46 PM
Post by: mjr on August 19, 2010, 06:35:46 PM
Hi Star,
I'm new here too. I've had feelings of wanting to be a woman all my life. I tried ignoring them, but they never went away. Now in my 50s, they've gotten too strong, so I too am trying to sort through what to do. So far this seems like a great site to do that with. Everyone has been real friendly.
Best wishes in your figuring this out,
mj
I'm new here too. I've had feelings of wanting to be a woman all my life. I tried ignoring them, but they never went away. Now in my 50s, they've gotten too strong, so I too am trying to sort through what to do. So far this seems like a great site to do that with. Everyone has been real friendly.
Best wishes in your figuring this out,
mj
Title: Re: <insert witty, yet desprate title here>
Post by: Lacey Lynne on August 25, 2010, 12:48:24 AM
Post by: Lacey Lynne on August 25, 2010, 12:48:24 AM
Quote from: Mary on August 19, 2010, 06:35:46 PM
Hi Star,
I'm new here too. I've had feelings of wanting to be a woman all my life. I tried ignoring them, but they never went away. Now in my 50s, they've gotten too strong, so I too am trying to sort through what to do. So far this seems like a great site to do that with. Everyone has been real friendly.
Best wishes in your figuring this out,
mj
Many of us on this website sorted things out in their 50s, sought counseling in their 50s and start hormone replacement therapy in their 50s. I am one of them. Welcome to everybody on this thread. Glad all of you are here. ;)