Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So today was my first day of classes (technically my 1st full year) and almost a week before classes started, I emailed my teachers respectfully asking them to use my prefered name, all but one replied agreeing to respect my request, so pretty much I couldn't wait for class today. The 1st 2 classes went perfect, no one gave me unsure looks and used male pronouns. My last class tho, didn't start off as great, the teacher ended up calling out my birth name which I didn't answer to, I didn't say anything. After class I explained to him, he apologized and changed my name on the roster. I'm ridiculously happy and excited for the semester.

Anyways, sorry I'm rambling, my reason for posting this is actually to thank you guys for anyone who posted their college experiences. It helped a lot and I was able to take the advise on emailing my teachers. So thank you guys for once again pulling through in aiding me through steps in my transition! I appreciate everyone here on Susans

I think it's cool that you talked to the teacher who called you by your birth name.  At this point in time, I don't know if I'd have the guts to do that.

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on August 23, 2010, 08:27:05 PM
I think it's cool that you talked to the teacher who called you by your birth name.  At this point in time, I don't know if I'd have the guts to do that.

Yea it was cool because when I approached him after everyone left, he said "yes sir, how can I help you?"

I didn't have this problem for college because I got my name legally changed just in time for it. But I've had issues in other places and it is a pain in the ass. When I was in group therapy and I asked to be called Kyle, my clinician was like I think you weirded people out when you asked to be called that(though it was only her really noone else cared) way to make feel like a freak in therapy... You did the right thing here, congrats :)

oh, college. it's weird for me i guess. i go to a women's college, so i always get "she'd" and even the more-often-than-i-would-like "HEY LADY"...i guess it's my own fault for choosing a women's college. granted, i went because it had a really supportive queer community. sometimes it's good and sometimes it just bites me in the butt.

I go to a women's college too. I wouldn't change it for the world. Im seen as someone's boyfriend more often than called "Hey lady" or something feminine. On the rare occasions that someone is cleaning the men's bathroom and I use the women's, I get yelled at. Even by people who know I go to the school. I think it forces me to be more masculine in order the distinguish myself from the rest of the queer community.

I don't know how well i'd do in a women's college. The city I live in is a relaxed beach town, so everyone's really cool about things for the most part, but I'm hoping to already be on T, hopefully top surgery, and have my name/gender changed before I transfer to UT in Austin, Tx since I'm not sure how people are there

Why would a guy want to go to a women's college?

I do know many trans guys who did attend women's colleges, but they usually started pre-transition when they ID'd as lesbians. The ones I know graduated before transition. 

Jay

Yeah I started going there before I identified as trans.

and I dont want to wait until I graduate to start transitioning

My first day of classes is tomorrow, and I've decided to just talk to my professors before class.  I'm still not entirely sure what to say though...  And this will be the first time I'm going to ask people to call me by male pronouns and my preferred name.  I'm really nervous.

I get either called my given name or neutral pronouns are used, even when I'm wearing a tank-top that obviously shows everything--while all the other bio girls get called feminine pronouns.  I'm drowning in happiness, and I'm going to try binding on Thursday to see what happens.

And I'm very happy for you!  That's pretty awesome to have teachers that are understanding.

Quote from: LucienOctopus on August 24, 2010, 07:58:35 PM
My first day of classes is tomorrow, and I've decided to just talk to my professors before class.  I'm still not entirely sure what to say though...  And this will be the first time I'm going to ask people to call me by male pronouns and my preferred name.  I'm really nervous.

Yeah I am wondering how to go about the same thing since I'm going to a different college now I thought I could start fresh and see how it goes. I would talk to my teachers or e-mail them but I don't know...
Talked to my girlfriend about it and she says it may not be a good idea just because we live in a very conservative town and she is afraid that may not bode well for me. :/ Unfortunately she has a point. There is a good chunk of bigotry out here. And there was a transgendered kid killed already.

I was definitely nervous, in fact I was nervous all the way up untill role was called even tho the teachers agreed, but I knew it had to be done. An example of my email:

Dear Mr./Mrs. _______

The reason for my e-mail is to humbly ask for your cooperation while I am attending your class this fall semester. I will let you know that I have been diagnosed with GID (Gender Identity Disorder), but it is not something I disclose to everyone. As part of my therapy, I have chosen a prefered name, James. My birth name is ______ _____, so that is the name that will show up on my records for now, but James is the name I prefer to go by, as it will soon be legally changed to. Hopefully this e-mail reaches you in time for Monday classes. Thank you for your time and cooperation.

I don't regret telling my teachers, but I can understand the concern about people not accepting it so well, but you never know until you try, maybe it'll end up working out

Hey James, what did you say to the teacher who you talked to in person?

Quote from: LucienOctopus on August 24, 2010, 08:57:30 PM
Hey James, what did you say to the teacher who you talked to in person?

I waited for everyone to leave then I told him that I wanted to talk to him about an email I sent regarding my name and my situation. He said he'll look back through his email and apologized. Then I told him that he called my birth name on the roster, but I didn't answer to it. He understood and changed the mark to present.

I only spoke to two of my profs today.  They were both totally cool about it.  I didn't even use the word transgender; I just said "I go by the name William, and I prefer male pronouns."

I think if they had wanted to know why, they would have asked.  This way it's quick and simple.

Quote from: LucienOctopus on August 25, 2010, 08:12:28 PM
I only spoke to two of my profs today.  They were both totally cool about it.  I didn't even use the word transgender; I just said "I go by the name William, and I prefer male pronouns."

I think if they had wanted to know why, they would have asked.  This way it's quick and simple.

That's awesome! Once people hear a male name called, they don't really question afterwards. Also, I think college teachers show more respect than high school teachers because they're dealing with adults

Absolutely.  I just hope I don't have to take any crap from other students.  I actually ran into somebody I knew in high school (a gay guy), and came out to him after asking if he would be at the LGBT group meeting. ;D So now I actually have one IRL friend who calls me male pronouns and my preferred name.

This one girl in my class thought I said my name was "Lily" though. I corrected her right away, but I thought it was pretty funny anyway... Lily. Lol.

Yea hopefully they're all mature enough. And hmm...William...Lily....nope, don't hear the connection lol

I guess when people think they see a female, their brain makes them hear a female name, even if you say a very male name.  I know some people though Elijah said his name was "Eliza." :P

Quote from: LucienOctopus on August 26, 2010, 11:31:29 AM
I guess when people think they see a female, their brain makes them hear a female name, even if you say a very male name.  I know some people though Elijah said his name was "Eliza." :P

That makes sense, I didn't think about it that way. I better make sure I clearly say my name before someone thinks I said Jane or something

in response to a post earlier about transfolk (i am not male-identified at all) at women's colleges:

a lot of the appeal for staying at my school right now is based on the queer community therein. gender-nonconforming people as a whole often seem to end up there because of the supportive queer community and the fact that as a women's college, it's already taking gender into account. we just take it several steps further. it's also a lot easier there to go by my preferred pronouns (they, them, theirs) because it's a familiar and usually supportive environment.

as far as the faculty and the folks outside the queer community, it gets a little mixed up and shifts around a little. faculty always call me by my preferred name, but the pronoun/other identity politics stuff gets kind of murky. i usually don't broach the subject.

I actually just made a post about this subject a few days ago without realizing this one already existed. I emailed my professors the other day and I got good responses from all of them. I was very nervous because this is the first time I'm really "out" in public this much. Yes I was out to friends and therapists, but never professors. I'm glad it was met well :)

Last semester I had kinda a crap time at uni. It's my third year there and I only started transitioning this year so everyone knew me by my female name and had seen me in girl mode.  I got pretty depressed and thought no one would adjust and I had this crap tutor.  I tried to talk to her about name/pronoun but she consistently had trouble and called me "Ellie" which SUCKED!  I did quite bad that semester as a result.  So during the break, I decided to get on to it and sent out an email to the staff saying I wanted to be called Eli (with pronunciation guide) and male pronouns and gave some useful links.  It's been so much better! I've just been telling other students and letting it get around through the grapevine.  I had critiques last week and everyone consistently called me he.  As a result, I am making much better art! It's so important to make sure everyone gets it right.  School feels so much more welcoming than it did earlier in the year. 

I haven't started this semester's classes yet, but I have moved into the dorms. one of my roommates had a friend over and she introduced me as *male name*. her friend had to do a double take that went something like "*male name*?" my roommate gave an affirmative and than he (the friend) said "just making sure I heard that right." after that it was no big deal. Although i have since learned that the friend is a member of the queer community (gay), it felt good that people are accepting and my roommates will use my male name.

As for classes.... I haven't been able to afford a binder and classes start in less than 36 hours, so I'll just avoid confrontation, as usual. unfortunately most of my classes this semester aren't in big lecture halls, which means i'll have to interact with other students and/or professors. but as long as i introduce myself i'll be fine. although i haven't come up with the courage to ask for male pronouns. as i said, i avoid confrontation.