Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Tamaki on September 13, 2010, 04:15:51 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello Hello
Post by: Tamaki on September 13, 2010, 04:15:51 PM
Post by: Tamaki on September 13, 2010, 04:15:51 PM
I have been lurking for awhile and felt it was time to introduce myself.
My name is Tamaki I'm in my early 40's and married. I was born male and I'm quite sure that my brain isn't but I've created quite the male persona to hide that fact.
I learned that something wasn't quite right with me at an early age and there was one incident that was pivotal in creating a male persona. When I was 4 or 5 I got into an argument with my mother and decided to run away from home. My mother was always the strict enforcer of gender roles. After leaving the house it quickly dawned on me that I had no place to go, no way to get food and no way to earn money. After spending an hour at a nearby friends house I went back home to scared and angry parents. The experience taught me that conforming to my mother's ideas about gender was a life or death choice for me.
Once I entered grade school I scrambled for ways to fit in and wasn't really successful but it was good enough for people to leave me alone. I would try my sister's clothes in secret and never did get caught but with a big busy family I was rarely alone. It wasn't until college that I was able to cross dress again. All that time wondering what it would be like to be female, wanting to be female and just suffering in silence. I found a career almost 20 years ago, worked my way up from the bottom and have become quite successful. It's a typical male dominated, macho industry and I've had to perfect my male persona as best I can. My male persona has become good enough that I start to believe it's who I am except that I'm miserable and hate myself as a man.
I'm grateful a place like this exists. It's really exciting to find a place where people's experiences are similar but their opinions can be very different and they feel free to express them without being berated. It's also cool to see not only people from all over the world but some very close to home.
My name is Tamaki I'm in my early 40's and married. I was born male and I'm quite sure that my brain isn't but I've created quite the male persona to hide that fact.
I learned that something wasn't quite right with me at an early age and there was one incident that was pivotal in creating a male persona. When I was 4 or 5 I got into an argument with my mother and decided to run away from home. My mother was always the strict enforcer of gender roles. After leaving the house it quickly dawned on me that I had no place to go, no way to get food and no way to earn money. After spending an hour at a nearby friends house I went back home to scared and angry parents. The experience taught me that conforming to my mother's ideas about gender was a life or death choice for me.
Once I entered grade school I scrambled for ways to fit in and wasn't really successful but it was good enough for people to leave me alone. I would try my sister's clothes in secret and never did get caught but with a big busy family I was rarely alone. It wasn't until college that I was able to cross dress again. All that time wondering what it would be like to be female, wanting to be female and just suffering in silence. I found a career almost 20 years ago, worked my way up from the bottom and have become quite successful. It's a typical male dominated, macho industry and I've had to perfect my male persona as best I can. My male persona has become good enough that I start to believe it's who I am except that I'm miserable and hate myself as a man.
I'm grateful a place like this exists. It's really exciting to find a place where people's experiences are similar but their opinions can be very different and they feel free to express them without being berated. It's also cool to see not only people from all over the world but some very close to home.
Title: Re: Hello Hello
Post by: MillieB on September 13, 2010, 04:40:38 PM
Post by: MillieB on September 13, 2010, 04:40:38 PM
Hi Tamaki, welcome to the forums.
I hope that you find it as friendly and helpful as I have
Take care Millie xxx
I hope that you find it as friendly and helpful as I have
Take care Millie xxx
Title: Re: Hello Hello
Post by: Z on September 13, 2010, 04:51:07 PM
Post by: Z on September 13, 2010, 04:51:07 PM
> Welcome Tamaki! I just joined as well, been a member since only yesterday. Yay newbies? hahah :D
Title: Re: Hello Hello
Post by: Janet_Girl on September 13, 2010, 05:49:31 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on September 13, 2010, 05:49:31 PM
Hi Tamaki, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 3300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 3300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Title: Re: Hello Hello
Post by: Tamaki on September 13, 2010, 06:36:57 PM
Post by: Tamaki on September 13, 2010, 06:36:57 PM
Thanks for the warm welcome.
MillieB - Thanks! The forums have already been helpful.
Z- Somebody has to be a newbie, it might as well be us ;)
Janet Lynn - I read another post from you and it looks like were neighbors!
MillieB - Thanks! The forums have already been helpful.
Z- Somebody has to be a newbie, it might as well be us ;)
Janet Lynn - I read another post from you and it looks like were neighbors!
Title: Re: Hello Hello
Post by: Jillieann Rose on September 14, 2010, 05:19:51 AM
Post by: Jillieann Rose on September 14, 2010, 05:19:51 AM
Tamaki,
Hi it's good to meet you.
I remember my dad teaching me how to be a man the proper way to walk and sit ect.
My children, all grown men now, never had to be show they just were male.
Anyway glad you joined Susan's.
Hope to catch more of your postings.
Jillieann
Hi it's good to meet you.
I remember my dad teaching me how to be a man the proper way to walk and sit ect.
My children, all grown men now, never had to be show they just were male.
Anyway glad you joined Susan's.
Hope to catch more of your postings.
Jillieann