Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello! :D

I'm Pundit (I'd rather not give out my real name just yet). I'm a cisgendered male from New Jersey. I'm a senior in high school. And no, I don't believe I'm transgendered in any way.

You might be asking why I'd join a forum for transgendered people, then. Honestly, I just really like transgendered people. I know this is a stereotype, albeit a positive one, but transgendered people are some of the nicest people I've ever met. And I really like how they're usually so tolerant of others (since they know what it's like to be discriminated against). So, yeah, I randomly came across these forums, and I got the idea to join, since I'm active on a good many forums. I hope you all would welcome a cisgendered person? Maybe there are some others; I don't know, I haven't really looked around yet.

So, yeah, hi!

Welcome aboard  :D

yo and 'course you're welcome!

Hello and welcome Pundit =]

Hi Pundit, welcome to one of the few places where we are the minority :D

Welcome Pundit!

Quote from: Pundit on September 28, 2010, 08:54:42 PM
And I really like how they're usually so tolerant of others (since they know what it's like to be discriminated against).

That is, until you really get to know us. :icon_twisted:  ^-^

Hi Pundit, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 3600 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

Welcome to the forum man :)

Always happy to hear about an accepting friendly cisgender person. :)

Welcome! Good to see there are more of your accepting kind out there! Me being a cis...gender was it? lol not too used to these formalities yet. anyway, welcome to the party!

Welcome Pundit!

Thanks for the friendly welcomes, everyone. :) You all pass so well! :D I'm surprised at how many FTMs there are. I thought MTF was more common? Maybe I need to update my statistical knowledge on that. ::) Hehe.

Welcome aboard

There is a whole thread devoted to the subject of more mtf than ftm's .... there's a big discussion as to why that is ... you should check it out

Hey, welcome to Susans  ;D

Well to be honest many of us maintain that once we are, as I am, decades past completion of our treatment we become cisgendered people with a transgendered past. That, rightly or wrongly is how I have seen myself for the last 26 or so years anyway. Many of us just come here to join in and offer the occasional bit of advice.

But I am being picky and forgetting my manners. Welcome to the group! I hope you will have a lot of fun and enjoy our company. Janet has already done the official moderator bit so I'll just confine myslef to saying I look forward to reading your contributions.

Now lets wait and see how many people try to chat you up... LOL ;)

how extremely exciting to have Cis friends hop aboard!
Welcome to Susan's!!

Welcome and enjoy yourself :)

JoC I must say, I am always struck by how beautiful and natural you look! =]

April!!
Thank you Lovely :)
I've been feeling pretty good lately :)
I'm glad its showing :D

Thanks again for the welcomes, everyone. Gosh, my intro thread is so popular! You all flatter me so much! :laugh:

rejennyrated: I understand what you're saying. There has to be some sort of word to describe whether someone was born the right gender or not, though. And I guess cisgender is the term for that. The words male and female are too vague, since one can be born male but feel female, and vice versa. The way I see it is that we're all human beings; some of us are unfortunate enough to have been born the wrong gender, and are even more unfortunate to be discriminated against and often treated as a joke in our society. I sympathize with you all; I have some "kinks" of my own that aren't accepted by society.

And haha, many people are going to chat me up? :laugh: I guess I should've thought that, but part of me also wondered if transsexual people prefer the company of other transsexual people. I guess I was wrong for thinking like that.

JoC: I gotta say, you look so much like a woman. Seriously, if I saw you on the street passing by, the thought that you may have been born physically male wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. A lot of people seem to pass well on this site, though. The vast majority, in my opinion.

What an interesting person to meet.

Welcome to the site from the self-declared quietest person on the site.

You're very perceptive. I like that.

Quote from: Pundit on October 01, 2010, 06:58:13 PMI sympathize with you all; I have some "kinks" of my own that aren't accepted by society.

But you know that you won't get away with this statement withouit further explanations?  >:-) ;D

Okay, seriously, welcome here!

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 01, 2010, 08:44:49 PM
But you know that you won't get away with this statement withouit further explanations?  >:-) ;D

Okay, seriously, welcome here!

Haha, all in due time, probably. :laugh: I already searched for the term on here, and someone said it was disgusting, so I'm kind of reluctant to tell everyone. Maybe once I've gained a good number of posts and have a good reputation.

Thanks. :)

Quote from: Pundit on October 01, 2010, 09:00:59 PM
Haha, all in due time, probably. :laugh: I already searched for the term on here, and someone said it was disgusting, so I'm kind of reluctant to tell everyone. Maybe once I've gained a good number of posts and have a good reputation.

What a person says or thinks about a certain condition does not make it so. When society regards a certain conition as good or bad does not mean it actually is good or bad. Too many people allow their judgment to be influenced by the opinion of others or by ignorance.
The only advice I can give you is to talk about it when you feel ready, and know yourself.

Welcome!

Quote from: Pundit on October 01, 2010, 06:58:13 PM


JoC: I gotta say, you look so much like a woman. Seriously, if I saw you on the street passing by, the thought that you may have been born physically male wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. A lot of people seem to pass well on this site, though. The vast majority, in my opinion.

She IS a woman, and yes you are right, she is gorgeous.

Quote from: ElijahShe IS a woman

Seconded.

Quote from: PunditJoC: I gotta say, you look so much like a woman.

We will pardon you on your turn of phrase  :) One can not look like a woman if one is a woman. But yah, we get what you meant.  :)

Octavianus: I know that. And it hasn't made me feel less about myself or anything. It's just somebody's opinion. *Shrug*

Everyone else: I only meant it in a complimentary way, the "you look so much like a woman." And I know she's a woman inside, but she was born (physically and biologically speaking) a male. I was only complimenting her on how feminine she looks despite being born physically and biologically a male. :)

I am quite sure you didn't meant to say it in a negative way. It is just one of the very delicate point people can be really sensitive about.
You had the good intention but didn't use the right words.

Quote from: Octavianus on October 02, 2010, 08:16:37 PM
I am quite sure you didn't meant to say it in a negative way. It is just one of the very delicate point people can be really sensitive about.
You had the good intention but didn't use the right words.

I'm not so sure. I suspect it may be because I'm cisgendered and not transsexual. Like a double standard. I was looking through another member's posts, and she gave various compliments to people, saying, "You look so female!" Why was she not reprimanded? After all, she used almost the exact phrase as I did.

I'm not upset about it, but I'm certainly not going to say I used the wrong words. I'm not so sure what was wrong with the words I used. I wasn't trying to insinuate that she was masculine in any way; in fact, she looks very feminine; but the fact is, she was born physically/biologically a male. That's the whole basis of the compliment: that, although you were born physically a male, you look so much like a woman now. If I really "said the wrong words," what were the right words?

I suppose the problem here was the wording "look like XY", cause this usually means one is not "XY".

E. g. nobody would tell Jack Nicholson that he "looks like" Jack Nicholson - cause he IS Jack Nicholson. Only someone else might "look like" Jack Nicholson. However, you can say that Jack looks like a dangerous and unpredictable person in the movie "Shining", as that's the role he is playing as an actor. Then again, it also insinuates that Jack is not dangerous and unpredictable per se.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec1.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FP%2FB00005ATQJ.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg&hash=3e285338748fcdaa0b12457c9439205ea06c4526)

Love that movie.

It's okay and we know you most certainly didn't mean anything negative by it. We trans people can be a sensitive bunch at times. Maybe it was a case of a double-standard, but isn't that always the way it is? People outside-looking-in always have to guard their tongues more than those who are inside themselves.

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 03, 2010, 12:54:31 AM
I suppose the problem here was the wording "look like XY", cause this usually means one is not "XY".

E. g. nobody would tell Jack Nicholson that he "looks like" Jack Nicholson - cause he IS Jack Nicholson. Only someone else might "look like" Jack Nicholson. However, you can say that Jack looks like a dangerous and unpredictable person in the movie "Shining", as that's the role he is playing as an actor. Then again, it also insinuates that Jack is not dangerous and unpredictable per se.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec1.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FP%2FB00005ATQJ.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg&hash=3e285338748fcdaa0b12457c9439205ea06c4526)

Love that movie.

Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

Quote from: Pundit on October 03, 2010, 11:37:42 AM
Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

Perhaps "you're a beautiful woman." Or perhaps that you wouldn't question her gender or something.

Quote from: Pundit on October 03, 2010, 11:37:42 AM
Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

Think of it like this: would you tell a woman she looks like a woman?

And please, never tell her she looks like Jack Nicholson in "Shining". Or say this to anybody else.  ;)

At any rate, formalities about phrasing over, welcome to the site. (:

hi  welcome to susans

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 03, 2010, 04:34:42 PM
And please, never tell her she looks like Jack Nicholson in "Shining". Or say this to anybody else.  ;)

omg ROTFLMAO

I wish I looked like him (but not all the time)

Yeah it's a touchy subject.

The best is just to say "you're a gorgeous/beautiful woman". That's all that matters.....

In fact, in person, never approach a transgender person and say "you're so brave or you look so female", etc. There's really no good thing to say to a stranger like that because we all just want to be seen as female and saying that we look "so female" tells us you knew about our past maleness by looking at us so in fact, we did not look female enough.

Jerica, you are so pretty =]

Quote from: Jerica on October 04, 2010, 12:17:23 PM
Yeah it's a touchy subject.

The best is just to say "you're a gorgeous/beautiful woman". That's all that matters.....

In fact, in person, never approach a transgender person and say "you're so brave or you look so female", etc. There's really no good thing to say to a stranger like that because we all just want to be seen as female and saying that we look "so female" tells us you knew about our past maleness by looking at us so in fact, we did not look female enough.

Not easy to find the right words...

Quote from: Elijah on October 03, 2010, 11:51:41 PM
omg ROTFLMAO

I wish I looked like him (but not all the time)

Honestly, I'd rather look like a female again (brrr) than look like Jack Nicholson in "Shining". His expression in this movie is just ... extreme. All the time. Even before he enters the haunted hotel. Great actor, by the way.

Quote from: Jerica on October 04, 2010, 12:17:23 PM
Yeah it's a touchy subject.

The best is just to say "you're a gorgeous/beautiful woman". That's all that matters.....

In fact, in person, never approach a transgender person and say "you're so brave or you look so female", etc. There's really no good thing to say to a stranger like that because we all just want to be seen as female and saying that we look "so female" tells us you knew about our past maleness by looking at us so in fact, we did not look female enough.

Unless you were talking to someone like me. I just couldn't be bothered to take offense. :P

(Then again maybe knowing I was intersex before makes me slightly more relaxed.)

Quote from: AprilDawn on October 04, 2010, 05:38:02 PM
Jerica, you are so pretty =]

aww thanks girl! Same goes for you, my dear =)

I love seeing tolerant cis people.  ;D What's up, man? Hope you like the people here. We're generally nice. I can sometimes be a jerk though, but that's only if you make me mad.

Octavianus: No, I wouldn't, but I would say that to someone whom I know was born physically male and so has had to struggle with SRS (I think that is the proper term?) in order to look female.

Quote from: Jerica on October 04, 2010, 12:17:23 PM
Yeah it's a touchy subject.

The best is just to say "you're a gorgeous/beautiful woman". That's all that matters.....

In fact, in person, never approach a transgender person and say "you're so brave or you look so female", etc. There's really no good thing to say to a stranger like that because we all just want to be seen as female and saying that we look "so female" tells us you knew about our past maleness by looking at us so in fact, we did not look female enough.

That's in real life, though, which is different. I knew that she was transgender because it said so right under her username. If it were someone in real life, I wouldn't make such an assumption. Even so, in my post, I said that if I had seen her in real life, I would have never mistaken her for a man, so I don't see how my compliment can be misconstrued to mean you don't look female enough. What I was essentially saying was that the only reason I knew she was a MTF transgender was because of the "MTF transgender" (or whatever it says) under her username--that's all.

Again, thank you for the welcomes, everyone.

Something I'd like to help you understand- transwomen generally wish to be thought of as women. It's irritating to be treated differently just because of what people assume is or is not in your pants due to the tg status. So well, most would prefer to be treated as you would treat "normal" women.

Wow, this is a really popular welcome thread. We're not trying to jump on you even if it may seem like it, it's just that a lot of us have to deal with irritating stuff like this all the time and we get tired of it you know. We just want to be treated like anyone else of our gender, but I might be making assumptions about the poster lol. Welcome, once again since this is my third post.

Hey Pundit, I like your posts so far.  Welcome!

Hi and welcome Pundit  :)

Wow 3 pages and still going.  ;D