Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My BFF and I were walking outside the building at lunch. It was a sunny day, gentle breeze and good converstion about life, kids and of course, men.

"You know, before I had the surgery, I thought tampons were a pain in the ass"... I said matter of factly.
When she looked up, I turned my head and said....
"Turns out I was using them wrong..."

She gasped, choked on her gum and broke in to uncontrolable laughter. It took her quite a few minutes to calm down so se could look at me  :)
<evil grin>


Any one else have examples???

I like that :)

examples for what? Okay I came up with this sometime ago but haven't told anybody yet so here it goes:

-What's common in a horny hetero male and a preop mtf?
-They both want pussy.

yeah I know it's a too obvious punchline... I've never been good in jokes :)

g

Just made this up,

What did one pussy say to the other????????????????? "Suporn or McGinn,"

Sorry peps.

Stardust

In a programmers meeting one fine morning (I am a senior), V and another were discussing data that needed to be pulled for a report. V was reading, looking at me, then down to her doc, the other was doodling happily away the time.
I reached over and picked up a bananna on my desk and started to peel it. When V looked up at me (and the other was looking down) I quickly grabbed the back of my head and forced it over the bananna.
She broke up laughing, startling the other guy.
She rolled around in her chair unable to even breathe as people began to wonder what set her off....

I still get the giggles thinking of it  :)

Quote from: stardust on October 01, 2010, 05:22:46 PM
Just made this up,

What did one pussy say to the other????????????????? "Suporn or McGinn,"

Quote from: juliemac on October 02, 2010, 06:36:08 AM
But in the back of their minds:
Brassard or Pichet?

meowwwwwww, my pussy hurts, just thinking about it, hehe.

Stardust

Sorry peps, I've thought of another one,

Song lyrics,

Going back to my Roots by Odyssey, Old I know but the chorus:-

Original:- "Checking out my roots, going back to my roots, yeah."

Adapted:- "Checking out my boobs, going back to my roots, yeah."

Well I thought we must all check out our boob growth and I did have to go back to my roots of gender dysphoria as a late transitioner. The cool thing is, it sounds like they are signing it if you change the word root for boobs as you listen to the song.

Yeah, I know, I have to much time on my hands and a strange sense of humour.

Stardust

The other day, an acquaintance of mine who doesn't know I'm trans gave me the following advice:

"If you need money, go and donate sperm, you'll get 150 € for it."
"I don't think I have the balls to do that."

We both burst out laughing - but for different reasons  ;)

LOL... I liked that  :)

Its nice to see that despite all we go through, we can still have a sence of humor about it  :)
Humor has a way of making the load lighter.

Quote from: juliemac on October 03, 2010, 11:07:51 AM
Its nice to see that despite all we go through, we can still have a sence of humor about it  :)
Humor has a way of making the load lighter.

Humor is the single most important skill you need in life if you're transsexual.
Or maybe even no matter what you are.

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 03, 2010, 10:00:49 AM
"If you need money, go and donate sperm, you'll get 150 € for it."
"I don't think I have the balls to do that."

Hahaha! I can't stop laughing! :D The whole situation is such a cliché, but imagining it happen for real... The ultimate pun. :D

Quote from: juliemac on October 03, 2010, 11:07:51 AM
Its nice to see that despite all we go through, we can still have a sence of humor about it  :)
Humor has a way of making the load lighter.

I totally agree. I don't know how anyone could handle something like this without being able to laugh at their own situation every once in a while. Webcomics like Venus Envy or Trans Girl Diaries are invaluable in that regard.

Quote from: SilverShadow on October 15, 2010, 03:58:54 PM
I totally agree. I don't know how anyone could handle something like this without being able to laugh at their own situation every once in a while. Webcomics like Venus Envy or Trans Girl Diaries are invaluable in that regard.

Yeah. I think it's great that such things exist. Venus Envy and Trans Girl Diaries are awesome (and Transe Generation as well). There is not enough trans culture, but we really need it, especially when it comes with humor. It's very empowering.

Another joke:

- How do you call a transwoman with a strap-on?
- Nostalgic

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 15, 2010, 04:20:38 PM
Another joke:

- How do you call a transwoman with a strap-on?
- Nostalgic

ROTFL. OMG. I read that just after sipping coffee. Thank you  :)

Alisons custom printed Tee shirt which we designed in about 1988 shortly after getting together.

on the front

Tits by Porter
Vag by Dalrymple
Hair by Raoul
Legs by Alison!

and on the back

PS i'm a TS!

It certainly makes everyone laugh, but does take a bit of courage to actually wear!

(Porter and Dalrymple were her surgeons, Raoul was her stylist!)

oh and fencesitter - you made me smile even though it is so not true! I have to confess that I infinitely prefer my trusty strapon to the real thing! It's just vastly nicer somehow  :laugh: and yes I really do have one...  :embarrassed:

Ok, I am not post-GRS, but I did read something in "I'm Looking Through You" by Jennifer Boylan that did make me LOL. She is a transwoman who remains married to her wife.

On a solo trip to Easter Island, she was given a gorgeous guide that she became infatuated with. At some point, he noticed that she had a wedding ring and asked her "Oh, are you married?' Not wanting to spoil the chemistry and sexual flirtation they were enjoying, she quickly responded, "I do not have a husband. I got rid of the man and kept the ring!"

Meeting a cousin I hadn't seen since I was in my mid-teens, then 30 years later, 20 years after SRS/transition.

I said "My, you have changed!"

He looked me up and down, then burst out laughing and said "And YOU say I have changed!!!!!"

Okay, his point ......

Quote from: Northern Jane on October 17, 2010, 02:46:04 PM
Meeting a cousin I hadn't seen since I was in my mid-teens, then 30 years later, 20 years after SRS/transition.

I said "My, you have changed!"

He looked me up and down, then burst out laughing and said "And YOU say I have changed!!!!!"

Okay, his point ......

:D :D :D

I always tell people (since I had my gender-reassignment surgery in Belgium but live in the U.S.), "I went abroad and came back a broad"

Oh, and I'll have to go to the shrink as I need to get something off my chest.

Quote from: AnitaLife on October 18, 2010, 10:16:35 AM
I always tell people (since I had my gender-reassignment surgery in Belgium but live in the U.S.), "I went abroad and came back a broad"

LOL. Mind if I use this?

Quote from: juliemac on October 18, 2010, 05:20:34 PM
LOL. Mind if I use this?

Of course not  ;D It's not even my own, although I can't remember where I first heard it heehee

Victor Borge:
"Denmark has 3 sexes. Male, female and convertable"\

Hehehe

At my college 50th class reunion last weekend, one of the guys in our company said, "You know, we haven't really changed that much in 50 years."

I piped up (the only female in our class) and said, "Well, my voice is a little higher now." Everybody broke out laughing.

Robyn

I met a guy in the park the other evening.
There was an instant spark between us and he immediately dropped to his knees
and laid on the grass at my feet. 

As we lay making love, I thought "These taser guns are well worth the money."

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnoobtown.co.nz%2Flol.jpg&hash=daf2d4ad218a232eada312e432aca6ab70c5de12)

Loooooooool at the receipt.

And the one with the balls comment

jajaja the recipt is sooo funny jajaja

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.
'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.
'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.
'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.
'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear
'That's me before the surgery.' ...


My BFF sent me that today and I had to post this here  :)

When I am post op and fully recovered, I'm going to throw myself an "end of transition" celebration. I'm going to call it my coming off party lol. :)

Got this today. Funny, seven monbths ago I would have had an anxiety attack  :)

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about
to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow!

That was the best Kiss I have ever had.   That's a real talent you are wasting.
You could be famous!

Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"