Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: James42 on October 05, 2010, 08:19:51 PM Return to Full Version

Title: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: James42 on October 05, 2010, 08:19:51 PM
"...if thats a guy or a girl"   :-\  first time i heard it really. A guy and a girl from my class were walking behind me and I heard him say it, I was just like "wow, it finally happened". Of course it doesn't feel good, but i realized that I don't care. I'm not on T yet, so I don't really expect people to read me as male 100% of the time, it just makes me anxious to start T and get top surgery, but lately I haven't been getting as depressed whenever i have the mindset "who cares what people say? When I'm on T and even get through top surgery I won't have to worry about it anymore" so its just like "do what I have to do until then" Some people might not feel or think the same way, but its helping me. I'm not gonna say that I never get depressed, because of course I have dysphoria, but depression hasn't been hitting me hard lately. I know who I am, and soon everyone else will see it too.

Anyways, this was just to let some thoughts out. Feel free to comment though.
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: transteen on October 05, 2010, 08:24:26 PM
Yeah, it happens to me all the time after I get haircuts. Hopefully my mom will let me actually get a male haircut soon, now that I've come out.
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: Randi on October 05, 2010, 08:48:57 PM
I used to hear that back in the 60s & 70s because my hair was long and at times I would wear 'womens' clothes-from the back it was impossible to tell the difference! I haven't changed that much-just a bit older! 8)
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: Silver on October 05, 2010, 09:01:24 PM
Too bad, but it's good that you're feeling better.

You're lucky though, from what I've seen you look really male so one half-pass out of a hundred is impressive. I know guys who get she'd more than you.
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: Meepit on October 05, 2010, 09:05:10 PM
I got that all throughout high school and at the end of middle school too :(. I think I've heard it so often, but recently it's dropped off, that I get paranoid and I tend to hear it even if I'm not 100% sure if it was said. It really went down for about 1 year and just recently got started up again by a couple of kids outside class and now I'm back into the paranoid mindset :(. I guess you could take it somewhat complimentary that they have to see you as at least PARTIALLY male and not 100% feminine. Like even one time I was rudely approached by some girl I didn't know and she crudely asked, "do you have a dick or a vagina, cuz you look like a man"....so I mean AT LEAST she called me a man :o albeit an androgynous one. You're definitely not alone here though, it's a common occurrence in this community I believe and I guess you're also lucky in the sense that this is your first time experiencing it. To me you look masculine as hell :o I dunno what they're seeing.
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: James42 on October 05, 2010, 09:33:42 PM
Quote from: Silver on October 05, 2010, 09:01:24 PM
Too bad, but it's good that you're feeling better.

You're lucky though, from what I've seen you look really male so one half-pass out of a hundred is impressive. I know guys who get she'd more than you.

Thanks, for the most part I do pass, but alot of the time I'm not trying (my mind is so male set I think I forget I'm in a female body most of the time) so I really don't know how I'm read until someone uses a pronoun

Quote from: Meepit on October 05, 2010, 09:05:10 PM
I got that all throughout high school and at the end of middle school too :(. I think I've heard it so often, but recently it's dropped off, that I get paranoid and I tend to hear it even if I'm not 100% sure if it was said. It really went down for about 1 year and just recently got started up again by a couple of kids outside class and now I'm back into the paranoid mindset :(. I guess you could take it somewhat complimentary that they have to see you as at least PARTIALLY male and not 100% feminine. Like even one time I was rudely approached by some girl I didn't know and she crudely asked, "do you have a dick or a vagina, cuz you look like a man"....so I mean AT LEAST she called me a man :o albeit an androgynous one. You're definitely not alone here though, it's a common occurrence in this community I believe and I guess you're also lucky in the sense that this is your first time experiencing it. To me you look masculine as hell :o I dunno what they're seeing.

wow thats crazy rude, people can be so ignorant, but you're still here and pushing so thats good. And thanks also, I think facially I'm ok, but when it comes to my body probably not so much...hips and waist -.-
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: Meepit on October 05, 2010, 10:32:16 PM
Yep, built up some thick skin from all the ridicule over the years ::) kids were always mean. You'd like to think people mature over time and for the most part that's true, except that recent incident somewhat proved that otherwise. But it becomes less of an occurrence when you're in an older, more open community like university. Or at least people have the courtesy not to say it in your vicinity. It ought to die down :).
Title: Re: "I'm trying to decide..."
Post by: JudahLiam on October 06, 2010, 12:50:44 AM
From the pics i have seen you already have a great start, i'm sure you won't have any problems passing after a few months on T, i know its hard, just hang in there and give it time.