Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry if this is the wrong board, so prepare to yell at me in all caps lol.

Pretty much, I've never gone outside in public completely dressed like a girl, the closest I've come is wearing girls shirts but with jumpers over the top. So to build confidence doing it, I was thinking of going out, but dressed up in a not so obvious way. Essentially, just jeans and shirts, no dresses or anything, so that people won't see me and instantly pick up on what I'm wearing. I know it's probably cheating, but I'm a very shy person, so right now this about the most I can see myself doing. So I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for things I could wear that wouldn't draw a lot attention to me? And hopefully, I'll build up some confidence.

Or if you think this will prevent me from gaining confidence, tell me. Could doing this mean I stop trying to be passable? I don't know, I just lack confidence.

Again, sorry if this is the wrong board.

Most women don't go out to do casual things wearing dresses and skirts, so you'll be ok with a good T-shirt and jeans.  I think my first ever step going into the light of day was No Makeup, just a T-Shirt, some jeans, and a Bra with some forms.  I won't say I passed, but it was a first step to get out of the shadows.

Keep in mind that people might react to heavy makeup or makeup that is not a good color match.  I found that wigs tend to look like wigs so I gave up on those rather quickly.

I remember doing a similar thing when I first started, and I was fine until I went to a Bennigan's and some drunk guy coming out of the restaurant yelled to his companions "IS THAT DUDE WEARING LIPSTICK?" ... This companions apologized for his drunkenness and took him to the car while I went inside a little downtrodden.

Just remember, when you're starting out into the light of day, it's going to be hard to pass at first.   Don't get discouraged, just try to think objectively of why someone clocked you and make subtle changes next time.   That includes clothes, makeup, mannerisms, etc.

Quote from: Epigania on October 07, 2010, 08:47:30 PM
Most women don't go out to do casual things wearing dresses and skirts, so you'll be ok with a good T-shirt and jeans.  I think my first ever step going into the light of day was No Makeup, just a T-Shirt, some jeans, and a Bra with some forms.  I won't say I passed, but it was a first step to get out of the shadows.

Yeah, thanks. Dresses were just an example, I kind of knew that it isn't normal to fully dress up to go out, I just figure something that wouldn't make me stand out (So no shirts that say "I'M A ->-bleeped-<-!"). Good to know you did it that way, so it's not just me who thinks like that.

QuoteKeep in mind that people might react to heavy makeup or makeup that is not a good color match.  I found that wigs tend to look like wigs so I gave up on those rather quickly.

I remember doing a similar thing when I first started, and I was fine until I went to a Bennigan's and some drunk guy coming out of the restaurant yelled to his companions "IS THAT DUDE WEARING LIPSTICK?" ... This companions apologized for his drunkenness and took him to the car while I went inside a little downtrodden.

Just remember, when you're starting out into the light of day, it's going to be hard to pass at first.   Don't get discouraged, just try to think objectively of why someone clocked you and make subtle changes next time.   That includes clothes, makeup, mannerisms, etc.

Thanks for the suggestions. Yeah, I don't expect to pass for a long while, but step by step is the way to go I'd figure.

You might want to start with something simple and work your way up. your starting with women's tees is a good start. I started with women's keds. Wore them for a while than moved up to ballet flats and mary-janes. Now I wear women's shorts, pantyhose and ballet flats or MJs when I am out in public.

Brenn

I wear what I want, where I want.  But when I was working we were required to wear tee shirts and jeans.  So you can wear what you want.  Even my ex wears jeans and tees.  I also have a couple of different tennis shoes I wear and my favorite shoes, which are open toed and have a 1 1/2 inch heel.

I have a pair of boots but they need a heel fixed.

  If you`re really chicken a burka and flats would work on any body type.  I ve worn womens jeans and pants since my teens ,  jeans and hoodies are the standard causual wear for girls here anyway. My lines of dressed/not dressed are blurry anyway. Ladies button up shirts are available in cuts that are gender neatral. I d go with boot cut jeans and a button up shirt with pinstripes or sheeny fabric and some low heel boots  . Why don t you ask the help of  a clothing sales person. Just walk into a store and ask, if they help then shop there, if not go elsewhere.   Bored female staff seam to get a laugh out of this,and it`ll make you be more confident. Come on march off to the store and do it, I dare you.