Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was just thinking the other day about my future and how things would be if I transistioned. It got me thinking about bottom surgery. Now when I picture myself as a guy I never think about whats down there. If I were to transistion I would get top surgery but i'm not sure how I feel about bottom surgery. I dont tend to feel much dysphoria about that area. Ok so on some level I do wish I had a penis but when I look in that area I feel nothing. I wonder if this is because I am attracted to males and do enjoy "straight" sex. If I was to change things down there I'm not sure what sex would be like with a man. So right now i'm actually pretty comfortable about the idea of being a man with, for lack of a better word, a man-gina. I was just curious as to how FTMs (or even MTF's) feel about their genitalia. Are there people like me who are comfortable with what they have?

I'm okay with mine. However, I'm a little more dysphoric about it than before T. Mostly because it's the only thing left female about my body. I'm dysphoric about the idea of someone finding out I have it. I used to actually be almost proud of it, now it kind of feels like a liability.

It's just a socially related feeling though, nothing to warrant surgery in my case.

Yeah, I'm fine with mine. I've always been ok with it probably because I'm sexually attracted to males. If I think about it at all, which is rare, I regard it as simply a small version differently configured.

I really would like metoidioplasty, but it honestly doesn't bother me too much. Especially because I have the worst luck ever and it wouldn't surprise me if I got every complication going. Think i'll probably end my transition at T and top surgery.

I was surprised to find myself pretty (hmm, "apathetic" would be the wrong word here, but I hope you know how I mean) towards bottom surgery too. I consider myself lucky in that I don't experience any real dysphoria about what's down there, but as time goes on I do see more and more how bottom surgery would help. It's annoying because a penis just does what it does. It may be a sign of manhood - and I'm sure you blokes appreciate the differentiation here - but it's only occasionally uncomfortable for me. The way things are, I do still stand a chance of.. er, experiencing certain pleasures, and I can urinate standing. At the very least, I don't take the thing for granted.

There is a part of me which realises this may ell be the last piece of a puzzle. I'm leaving my decision down to that point. If, after all the other changes have been gone through, I do feel different about bottom surgery then yes, I will consider it. But for the time being I am happy to take things one step at a time and not feel pressurised into conforming with 'perceived womanhood'.

I'm not all that concerned about my dick...yeah, I seriously wish I had one, but that's not getting fixed. I can live with a tiny one, even a mildly deformed one.

But what gets me down is the lack of balls, which I really really strongly feel ought to be there, and the presence in their stead of what looks for all intents and purpose like a giant, gaping, never-healing seeping wound. The hole itself isn't a big deal, I can use it for sex, but the area between the dick and the hole absolutely revolts me.

So I think I need a meta.

For me... I want a penis b/c if if I ever get a straight girlfriend, it would be totally weird not to have a penis and I think it would be totally weird for the girl too.  But for religious reasons I won't get the bottom surgery done. I'm okay with using the prosthetic, but I still would rather have a real penis. It makes me feel less of a man without a real one.

I want meta but it's not something I need unlike T, hysto and top surgery.

I'd obviously love to get it done, but I feel like you don't need a vagina to be a girl.

Interesting reading some gay guys' responses; so far, I'm the odd man out. I have a lot of distress about that part of my body, and I think a lot of that distress comes from my being gay. Maybe the other gay guys identified as hetero for a long time? I lived that way but didn't really identify that way--I've always felt I was a gay man. So the lack of proper equipment (a little judgment there) really bothers me. However, I don't see bottom surgery in my near future because of my financial situation. I'm in a holding pattern, mostly.

Quote from: kyril on October 14, 2010, 03:07:13 PM
The hole itself isn't a big deal, I can use it for sex, but the area between the dick and the hole absolutely revolts me.

I feel the same way, I don't mind the hole or the dicklet but the other stuff down there I hate.

Quote from: Arch on October 15, 2010, 07:39:22 PM
Interesting reading some gay guys' responses; so far, I'm the odd man out. I have a lot of distress about that part of my body, and I think a lot of that distress comes from my being gay. Maybe the other gay guys identified as hetero for a long time? I lived that way but didn't really identify that way--I've always felt I was a gay man. So the lack of proper equipment (a little judgment there) really bothers me. However, I don't see bottom surgery in my near future because of my financial situation. I'm in a holding pattern, mostly.

No, I never really identified as hetero, never felt right to me. I guess I kind of try to downplay how much it bothers me to not have the right equipment because I'm trying to accept that it's never ever going to be fixed. But there are some aspects of it I really can't accept...mainly, the oozing.

Quote from: kyril on October 15, 2010, 09:02:17 PM
No, I never really identified as hetero, never felt right to me. I guess I kind of try to downplay how much it bothers me to not have the right equipment because I'm trying to accept that it's never ever going to be fixed. But there are some aspects of it I really can't accept...mainly, the oozing.

Well, I'm a T-girl, so in a very real way, I'm not qualified to answer you here, man.  However, if we had Star-Trek-level medical technology, I'd trade you pelvic configurations.  I know.  That doesn't help any.  Sorry.

Two things:

First, it's very good that the vaginal introitus and its adnexal structures don't bother you.  That kind of rocks.  Believe it or not, my wife's sister's husband is also a T-girl!  He (she) wisely says:  "Use what you've got."  You're doing that.  That's an excellent adjustment, man.  Second, about the oozing, that will absolutely, positively, definitely stop.  However, you are young.  It may be a few decades before it does.

T-guys, because I've worked in the medical records field for a decade-and-a-half and have been through gynecological issues, upkeeps and surgeries with 2 wives over a period spanning 30 years, I can tell you dudes one thing:

See your gynecologist regularly.  Get your sterile speculum examination and well-woman examination regularly if you're getting a little older.  An honest-to-goodness bimanual pelvic examination would be very wise to have done from time to time.  I've personally typed thousands and thousands of OB/GYN reports over the years and "quality controlled" a whole bunch more. 

If you've got biological female genitalia, get all the necessary examinations, do it regularly and follow your doctor's advice.  There are all kinds of things that can, and do, go wrong ... that most women have no idea even exist.  So, T-guys, do the whole nine yards:  Well-woman examination, sterile speculum examination, bimanual examination, PAP smear, etc.  Don't forget breast self-exams and mammograms.  If anything is going on pathology-wise, when you catch it early, it's generally totally curable. 

My best to you dudes.  I feel for you guys.  It's not fair.  T-girls can almost wholly transition.  Guys, medical technology WILL make your bottom surgery possible ... some day.   Future T-guys will be able to get the equipment they want ... fully functional.   "Til then, take care of yourselves.  Our hearts are with you.    ;)

Quote from: kyril on October 15, 2010, 09:02:17 PM
No, I never really identified as hetero, never felt right to me. I guess I kind of try to downplay how much it bothers me to not have the right equipment because I'm trying to accept that it's never ever going to be fixed. But there are some aspects of it I really can't accept...mainly, the oozing.

You mean, like, the red-headed cousin that comes for a visit? Or other secretions? Or maybe that's TMI.

I have to admit that the idea of getting surgery down there scares the crap out of me. I want hysto eventually, but having my insides scraped out and sealed up, and then undergoing multiple procedures for my junk, and having a high risk of complications...not too appetizing, and I still won't have a fully functional, "normal" penis. Even if I had the money to spare, I would have to do some serious soul-searching before I went through all of that.

As one of the few girls to answer.  Many will disagree with me, but for me and me alone, SRS is the holy grail.

I have live with and use that fing birth defect and I have hated it forever.  Yes having a vagina does not make me a woman, but it does let me look like one naked.

I really feel sorry for you guys that surgical techniques have not come up with a better way to give to you what you want.

Quote from: Arch on October 16, 2010, 12:27:52 AM
You mean, like, the red-headed cousin that comes for a visit? Or other secretions? Or maybe that's TMI.

I have to admit that the idea of getting surgery down there scares the crap out of me. I want hysto eventually, but having my insides scraped out and sealed up, and then undergoing multiple procedures for my junk, and having a high risk of complications...not too appetizing, and I still won't have a fully functional, "normal" penis. Even if I had the money to spare, I would have to do some serious soul-searching before I went through all of that.

Understood, Arch. 

As a medical type myself, I can tell you:  FTM surgery generally is not worth it.  As surgeries go, it's ineffective and crude.  Sorry, but that's the plain truth.  I've done a gazillion surgery reports over the years, and I know a good surgery from a flak surgery.  This is the latter. 

T-guys, if you WANT to go for it, then by all means do.  It's your call. 

Take care of what you've got, Arch.  You CAN have happiness as is.   Yeah, you'll have to cop a certain attitude to do it, but the surgery is not evolved enough yet for FTMs.  Just my opinion.  Good luck, man.   

Quote from: Janet Lynn on October 16, 2010, 12:55:27 AM
As one of the few girls to answer.  Many will disagree with me, but for me and me alone, SRS is the holy grail.

I have live with and use that fing birth defect and I have hated it forever.  Yes having a vagina does not make me a woman, but it does let me look like one naked.

And so you shall reach the Holy Grail! 

A year postop, gonna ship your newly-minted coochie to Caliente!   

www.CalienteResorts.com (http://www.calienteresorts.com)    (I REALLY miss it!)

God, she's SO shameless!  Janet!  The nerve!     :D

I have really bad dysphoria about down there. I remember begging my mom for a penis when I was just four years old. I don't know what I'm gunna do, I just really really hope they find a successful procedure soon!

I think it hasn't progressed enough to a point where I want it. I will live with what's there in the mean time, and deal with it the best I can.

The way I see it, I'm holding off and "preserving the tissue" to be used at a time in the future once the surgery is better.

I'd hate to have a meta, then 5 years later find out I could have had something much better if I'd only have waited - but can no longer have it because I don't have enough of the "stock item" left to work with.

Hell, the way things are for me it's unlikely I have enough to make a meta out of anyway. I have no choice but to go phallo or wait. And I don't want an arm-penis that looks like an arm-penis.

Don't get me wrong, I'd go for surgery in an instant if it was decent. I don't like what's there now. My standard aren't exactly super-high for surgery either - I consider top surgery awesome even with the scarring and I'll be jumping on it when I get enough time off work.

I doubt I'll get bottom surgery.  I would have a very hard time bringing myself to go through with having sensitive parts of my body chopped up without any really obvious health benefit.  Top surgery is a different story because it prevents breast cancer and it sounds like a relatively simple procedure.  Bottom surgery sounds gruesome.  But maybe I'll change my mind if and when the options improve.

Quote from: Lacey Lynne on October 16, 2010, 01:17:35 AM
As a medical type myself, I can tell you:  FTM surgery generally is not worth it.  As surgeries go, it's ineffective and crude.  Sorry, but that's the plain truth.  I've done a gazillion surgery reports over the years, and I know a good surgery from a flak surgery.  This is the latter. 

I see where you're coming from, and I know what you mean. But I have to point out that it seems to be worth it for most of the guys who decide to get it. I only know a couple of guys IRL who have had bottom surgery, and they are thrilled with their results--results that, for a lot of guys, would not be worth it. So when my buddy X looks at my buddy Y's Transbucket photos and sniffs that he is not impressed with the results, I'm thinking well, maybe that wouldn't work for you, but it works for him. (I also wonder about sour grapes, too, but who knows?)

Your earlier post about GYN exams really made me cringe, but I know you're right. So many of the guys I know IRL won't even talk about it, even though they still have the equipment. So when my GP told me the other day that he didn't know any GYNs with trans guy experience, and shouldn't I try to find someone through the trans community, I had to shrug my shoulders and tell him that I hadn't been able to get cooperation from my community. I really don't think anyone in my city has any particular experience with trans men, but if someone did, I'm not finding out about that practitioner through trans channels.

It's very frustrating. I want to take care of myself, but I don't want to sit in a waiting room filled with women gawking at me, and have the nurses call me "she" even though, yes, I AM listed that way on my insurance, or, indeed, have anybody at all look at me down there unless they're getting ready to fix the problem and give me real junk.

That's the only reason I was able to bare my chest to the surgeon--I knew he was going to take those things AWAY. I have no such comfort for GYN exams. But maybe things will be better if I switch to a GYN I don't know, instead of having my GP do the exam.

Sorry, I seem to be slightly off topic. ::)

Part of me kind of wants to have bottom surgery someday, but it's expensive.  Even if I did have that kind of money, there are a lot of other things I could do with it that would be a lot more important to me than having bottom surgery.