Susan's Place Transgender Resources

 since may 2010 when it dawned on me that I'm a guy - should say stopped repressing the real me - i didn't feel like shaving anymore, "guys don't shave their armpits or legs, what am i doing?" so i stopped. even when my mom gave me bs about it that month and june when i tried to wear shorts. sucks i couldn't freaking wear shorts for the 2nd half of summer. ggrrrrrrrr.
  anyway my doctor doesn't know I'm trans so her walking in and I'm in just the paper gown and my legs are covered in dark thick hair, then she'll see my underarms the same way when she has to check my chest for lumps, which will be horrific feeling. i don't want to hide who i am or lie. i don't know if it's worth it to tell her. hell maybe she could even help me get a hold of the gender specialists in this state since I've been having such an impossible time with it. that's probably what's keeping me from getting the appointment plus me just HAAAAATING calling people. don't know why, just almost the worst thing ever.
3rd scariest : calling anyone
2nd scariest : driving
1st scariest : talking to my mom, about anything

wow, those are probably my three biggest fears as well, lol.

My suggestion is to just really think about it and do whatever you feel like you can do.  It's true it would be probably be more productive to let your doctor know and maybe she knows about how to find gender specialists.  But if you would feel too weird to just show up like that, I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting until you're ready either.

How are you with emailing?  I can't talk on the phone to save my life, but I can email well.  So maybe if it would help, you could email your doctor to tell her you're a guy to give her kind of a "heads up" for when you go in for your physical.  and you could ask her in the email about  how to find gender specialists. 

just a suggestion.

There are women who don't shave either, and doctors aren't there to judge your adherence to cultural standards of beauty; if you wouldn't shave if you weren't going to the doctor, don't shave just because you are going to the doctor.  If it makes you feel better, I've never come out to a doctor and haven't shaved anything in years, for a long time before I even thought I might be transgender, and no doctor has ever even mentioned it (and it's very obvious).  If you want your doctor's help in getting to an endo or therapist, you'll need to tell her, but otherwise there's no reason to come out unless you feel like it. 

Also, you can always refuse a test, like a breast exam, if you're uncomfortable with it, regardless of whether you're trans.  If you're still living at home with your mom, chances are you don't medically need a breast exam anyway, or you can self-administer if you're concerned and only bring it to a doctor's attention if you find something unusual.

As for everything else, it's actually pretty common to have anxiety about phones.  I also have a lot of trouble talking to people if I can't see their faces.  When you're calling to make an appointment, it might help to write out a script and just read off of it, as you're likely to be leaving a message anyway.  Hope this helps!

As others have said,
Shaving body hair is cultural, not gender or sexual. No doctor should even  comment.

Lots of shaved guys in cycling and swimming, are they odd? Lots of none shaved guys as well in other areas of life.

Don't worry. Scary but small stuff.

Cindy

Ilan gave a good suggestion.  If you hate talking on the phone, write out a little script to keep you on track just in case you start to get nervous.  I still do that sometimes, especially when it's a call I'd rather not make or it's something really important.

If you don't want to shave your legs, then don't do it for just a doctor.  They aren't there to critique your appearance.  If the topic does come up, that would be a good time to come out to your doctor.  Even if it doesn't, there's nothing saying you can't tell them anyway if you feel comfortable.  Don't be afraid to ask them questions (like finding a gender therapist).  They're there to assess and treat all of you, including the emotional, mental, social, and psychological aspects of yourself.

At my last doctor's appointment, I wasn't out, and I hadn't shaved anything. Then I went to the emergency room because my stomach hurt really bad and my mom thought it was appendicitis (turns out I have an ovarian cyst that was wrapping around itself or something. I was super upset, because of course the one time I had to be in that much pain, it was a lady-parts problem =/ ). I hadn't shaved for an even longer period of time, then, and I had to keep my arms up when I was getting my CT, so my pits were completely visible. Nobody said anything whatsoever. Not the female doctors, not the male doctors, not even my mom, who didn't know at the time.

If I were you, I wouldn't shave. A lot of people don't shave. If you don't want to tell your doctor you're trans, then just say you're scared of razors. That was my excuse for a really long time. However, doctors are usually very understanding, so telling your doctor might enable you to start transitioning.

Shaving is up to you. Bio guys do shave; guys into sports, models, guys who don't like being hairy, guys who like the feeling of being smooth, etc.

I actually shave everything from the nose down. I tried being hairy everywhere and it just wasn't me. Shaving doesn't make me feel less masculine, just smoother haha.

Your doctor's job is to exam YOU, not a shaved image of you. Dont shave if you dont normally shave.

hey all, thanks for the suggestions!
i know what I'm doing now. I'm going there as is. then tell her, might as well see what she says about where to go etc etc.

don't have her e-mail, so will get her surprised look lol. I've over heard her through a wall telling someone they should wear clean underwear every day to prevent infections before she walked in for my appointment (eeeeeew just remembered how gross that was, like oh jeez i hope she washed her hands before checking out my lungs or whatever it was) so me being a hairy trans guy should be nothing lol.

Quote from: Noah the brave-ish on October 17, 2010, 08:47:23 PM
hey all, thanks for the suggestions!
i know what I'm doing now. I'm going there as is. then tell her, might as well see what she says about where to go etc etc.

*queue the patriotic music*  :eusa_whistle:

Good for you!  :icon_woowoo: Hold your head up, brother. Be proud. We're still the pioneers in our community and what we do today will make things easier for those who follow as our fore-fathers have made things easier for us!

Quote from: Noah the brave-ish on October 17, 2010, 08:47:23 PM
hey all, thanks for the suggestions!
i know what I'm doing now. I'm going there as is. then tell her, might as well see what she says about where to go etc etc.

don't have her e-mail, so will get her surprised look lol. I've over heard her through a wall telling someone they should wear clean underwear every day to prevent infections before she walked in for my appointment (eeeeeew just remembered how gross that was, like oh jeez i hope she washed her hands before checking out my lungs or whatever it was) so me being a hairy trans guy should be nothing lol.

You would never believe what most medics have seen. There is very little to shock. Most if not all medics have worked an ER during training. Your hairy legs would not raise an eyebrow. Once you are covered in vomit holding down a person in the throes of a drug induced convulsion trying to keep an airway open and not being bitten, while they defecate and scream and struggle, doesn't really make you worry about the hairy legs.  ::) ::) ::)
The nicest thing a patient can do for a family doctor? Don't smell bad. Be honest. Ask questions and tell the truth.

Hugs

Cindy

I've had one experience with the "annual exam". I went when I was already living as male, but before I started T. Before I went into the exam room, I went into the docs office to talk over what the exam was about and all that stuff. I was open with her about being trans and just came out to her.. I figured it'd answer any questions she'd have about why I dressed/acted/looked the way I did (not that it's necessarily any of her business).. I was just more comfortable being open about it than not telling her.

This was just my experience though, do whatever feels right for you.
=]

Has she been your GP for awhile? Do you plan to keep her during transition? My GP was one of the first people I told I was TS and was going to transition. She didn't bat an eye. She had questions and it seems she has some other transmen patients too. I thought that since I would continue seeing her she needed to know. It's not like something apparent wouldn't happen anyway. Plus, if you go on T or have surgeries she'll need to know for medical sakes.

yeah for as long as I'm living in this county i plan on going to her. i may or not be the only trans patient she's ever had but atleast like jaxen said she'll know info from me to help the next guy or girl who comes out to her. yay me I'm slowly gradually getting brave about all this haha. I've told her about my relationship with my first gf and she didn't have a single problem with it so this shouldn't be bad 8).

eew vomit and defecating. I'm so glad I'm not an ER nurse or doc lol.

Jesus H! i can't believe this has been read 236 times! that's a lot of people!

I never shaved anything and going to the doc did not change that. I never got any comments on it from anyone, docs, parents, siblings or school people. Don't worry about it so much cause it just don't matter.

Quote from: LordKAT on October 18, 2010, 09:24:02 PM
I never shaved anything /

Now that't why he is called Lord Kat :laugh: :laugh:

Hugs Hun

Cindy

Do whatever makes YOU feel good bro. If you want to be a hairy SOB go for it but if you really think YOULL have a tough time with it then shave but its totally up to you. See the best thing about being a dude is you can make that decision for yourself. For instance I shave my armpits but not my legs cause I HATE armpit hair. Just gross as ->-bleeped-<- to me but i dont mind the hair on my legs cause its manly to me. Just do whatever feels right bro.

cool, will do  :) bro's....and one female.

I believe I stopped shaving my legs in middle school, well before I realized anything about myself. I tried hard to just not give a damn, but yeah I got crap from my mother, my two sisters and even my dad. I did shave randomly maybe a max of 5 times from about then through all of high school. None of my doctors has said anything really.

The only comment I got was from my last physical was about my little 'stache (which I have since shaved) and it was out of concern that I might have PCOS. Otherwise there was no issue. You just do what you feel is good and forget everybody else. You're a man! Be furry!  8)

Be a furry bear! Roar! It's sexy  >:-)

Kidding~ Do whatever you want to do. I like shaving down there but I like my pits a little hairy  :laugh:

Cindy is right in medical personal have seen it all.  They are pretty jaded about most of it, and mostly their focus is elsewhere anyway.  They WILL notice, part of their job and a ton of their training is about attention to detail (a rare commodity in this world anymore), but they WILL NOT CARE, which is also part of their job and training.

It's always cultural, but it's fashion too.  Most of the male models I see in fashion mags and such are clean shaven, and the whole porn look highly shaved deal is very trendy now too.  Southern Sorority girls still shave, Berkeley girls, not so much.  American's shave more than any other girls, but that was just a way to sell more razor blades.

padfoots that is hilarious! i really spun around in my chair with my head way back laughing my ass off.  i do want to be more hairy, i love it, what i have now and the image of more in my visual image of what i want to look like. it makes me feel really masculine. sexy? i dunno lol. I'll ask my gf when she sees me in person. thanks wolf man and tekla as well  ;D

Quote from: tekla on October 20, 2010, 08:33:48 AM
American's shave more than any other girls, but that was just a way to sell more razor blades.

I'm amazed that it works...I mean, even when I shaved pretty much everything pretty much every day, a decent quality razor blade lasted me 2-3 months. (s'pose I'm not all that hairy, but still, parts of me are) I still only use them for about that long now that I shave less, because that's about the time it takes for them to start to rust a bit.

QuoteAmerican's shave more than any other girls, but that was just a way to sell more razor blades.

here in europe girls shave just as much. the only girls i ever saw that collectively didn't  were from southern france. i think shaving probably came along with the sexual revolution....i mean who wants hair in their mouth....? shaving legs probably did originate in some country or other where girls had long black leg hairs....because i really don't understand why girls here go through the ordeal when their light blond leg hairs are hardly noticeable .....like mine :(

emil: Totally OT, but I really don't mind hair in my mouth. I find it far more pleasing than the "baby" look. Trimming isn't such a bad idea though.  ::) This is of course only if you meant what I thought you did.  :D