Susan's Place Transgender Resources

OCTOBER 17, 2010 2:53PM
Owning His Identity

http://open.salon.com/blog/girlyboymama/2010/10/17/owning_his_identity (http://open.salon.com/blog/girlyboymama/2010/10/17/owning_his_identity)

For the past 1 year and 9 months, I have fantasized about Alex one day becoming a renowned ballet dancer. His skill and ability seemed above par. His interest and dedication to the art was focused and intent. Or so I thought.

I had often wondered if that duality ever caused him any distress. The ballet school was adamant that the boys are boys, and the girls are girls. Adherence to traditional gender binaries was a strict requirement. To be sure, though, the first thing that ever attracted Alex to ballet at then tender age of four or five, were the tutus and point shoes. Yet somehow over the course of the last nearly-two-years, he managed to find a place for himself and find peace with a male role in ballet classes. At the ballet performance in June, he and two other boys spent the entire day in the dressing room bonding over Nintendo DS, Leapfrog, and iPod games. I began to take his complacency for granted. I assumed that the peace he found in this niche would be lasting in spite of the fact that it did not represent his identity in all other aspects of his life. Underneath the surface, however, there was tension brewing.