Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi all,

I'm 33 right now, and as I think about the possibility of transition I am looking for examples and stories of people who transitioned in their mid-30's. But it seems like it's hard to find examples and/or pictures of people who transitioned in their 30's. I'm seeing lots of examples of people who transitioned in their 20's, and then there's a number of people who talk about transitioning in their 40's and 50's. But for whatever reason not a lot on people in their 30's.

I just don't know what to expect. Part of my fear about transitioning is that it might be "too late" for me to transition, or that I might not pass or something. I suppose I just feel like there's not very many people in my age range that have talked about transitioning in their 30's. Oh how I wish I had addressed this all earlier in life, but as many of you have said you really can't address this stuff until you're ready to do it. Even now I'm not sure I'm ready, but I know that I am to the point in my mindset that the question must find some kind of resolution either way. Either I need to move forward, or accept my life as-is and find something to just "get by" for the rest of my years. I don't know how either of these are possible, but I hope to find the answers soon.

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone has any ideas about 30's transition in terms of how the body handles it, and whether or not they have friends who successfully transitioned around this age and turned out passable and happy. Am I right in thinking that I'm not seeing as many examples online of people who transitioned in their 30's? If so I wonder why that is.

Hello Madelyn,
As someone who just turned 40, I may not qualify to answer your questions, but I believe there are things far more important than your age. It's you and how you feel. If you believe the only thing that will make you happy is transition, then it does not matter what age you are.
What exactly do you think about yourself that will make you less passable?

I'm in my early twenties, so I don't fit into your swimming pool :(

Anyway, it depends on a number of factors. Stress, nutrition, fitness, and how much effort you put into it are among them. I've seen horrid transition results from people as young as 19; however, I've also seen wonderful transitions done by people in their 50's.

If you get serious about your overall health and put your heart into this, you'll come out with wonderful results.

hello there

You are wondering if it's not too late to get your transition in your thirtees.
I was in my early thirtees when I finally get my transition and I can tell you that I've never for only 1 second had any regrets.
Of course you can be happy, if only you finally have your idention you can do what ever you wants.
The sky is the limit but, you have to work hard for it. nothing in live is for free but there is a world of oppurtunity's out there.
For me, I switch career, I get married.
Believe in yourself and in your skills.
But, before you make the big step, be absolutely sure that this is the only way  for you to live further, if you are'nt sure you 're a transexual it could be very dissapointing.

with love
annette

Quote from: Madelyn on October 31, 2010, 12:41:21 PM
I just don't know what to expect. Part of my fear about transitioning is that it might be "too late" for me to transition, or that I might not pass or something. I suppose I just feel like there's not very many people in my age range that have talked about transitioning in their 30's. Oh how I wish I had addressed this all earlier in life, but as many of you have said you really can't address this stuff until you're ready to do it. Even now I'm not sure I'm ready, but I know that I am to the point in my mindset that the question must find some kind of resolution either way. Either I need to move forward, or accept my life as-is and find something to just "get by" for the rest of my years. I don't know how either of these are possible, but I hope to find the answers soon.

These are common worries.  As Annette said, take your time to be sure transition is right for you. 

As someone who transitioned in her 60s, I can tell you it is never too late unless you're dead.  Early on I was talking to a close friend who is in his 80s.  I was waffling about whether it would be worth it, transitioning so late in life.  He said: "How many years do you have left?  20?  30?  That's a long time to be unhappy."

- Kate

Me me !!! I am transitioning in my 30's.  I agree there doesn't seem to be a lot of us.  I am 33 and 1 month HRT at this point, so I am not sure if I have many experiences to share.  I think it is a great time to transition, of course I would have liked to have done it younger now, but back then I didn't have enough confidence to make that decision.  Now I do and I have some financial ability to get me through the process.

When I decided to transition, it was when I accepted myself as a transsexual woman.  I have no plans of stealth and if people view me as trans the rest of my life, I am OK with that.  So the only transition if passable question is really not important.

Good luck!
Jenna

I am 35  and just started HRT.  I certainly how I'm not too old.  :-)

I'm right at the start of the process and hit the big 3-O this month. So I see myself as a thirty-something transitioner. I've noticed a dearth of info from thise in our age group. I sometimes worry about doing this at an age when sexual dimorphism seems to be most marked but at least we're more likely to have the income to do something about it :)

I would like to be in you 30-40 transition club please :)

With love

Laura

I am in the same boat...I am in my late 30's and I finally decided I was going to go for it...I am tired of being mistaken as a girl when I know I am a man

There are a lot of 'mid' transitioners who transition in their late 20s/early 30s. It may not be as common as the early or late peeps though. Wonder why that is.

Quote from: Madelyn on October 31, 2010, 12:41:21 PM
Hi all,

I'm 33 right now, and as I think about the possibility of transition I am looking for examples and stories of people who transitioned in their mid-30's. But it seems like it's hard to find examples and/or pictures of people who transitioned in their 30's. I'm seeing lots of examples of people who transitioned in their 20's, and then there's a number of people who talk about transitioning in their 40's and 50's. But for whatever reason not a lot on people in their 30's.

I just don't know what to expect. Part of my fear about transitioning is that it might be "too late" for me to transition, or that I might not pass or something. I suppose I just feel like there's not very many people in my age range that have talked about transitioning in their 30's. Oh how I wish I had addressed this all earlier in life, but as many of you have said you really can't address this stuff until you're ready to do it. Even now I'm not sure I'm ready, but I know that I am to the point in my mindset that the question must find some kind of resolution either way. Either I need to move forward, or accept my life as-is and find something to just "get by" for the rest of my years. I don't know how either of these are possible, but I hope to find the answers soon.

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone has any ideas about 30's transition in terms of how the body handles it, and whether or not they have friends who successfully transitioned around this age and turned out passable and happy. Am I right in thinking that I'm not seeing as many examples online of people who transitioned in their 30's? If so I wonder why that is.

Transitioned in my 30s, 32 to be exact.

This is a picture of me at 29:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg)

This is a picture of me now:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg)

HRT 1.9yrs,  Diet and exercise and hair removal  2 yrs+
I did everything i possibly could to get my body into shape for this thing, and to look as good as i could possibly get for over 2years.  If you have questions i would be glad to help.

The funny thing is that the majority of trans women that I actualy know are in their 30's but, your right, there aren't that many testimonials out there which I was unhappy about because I think that when you are in your 30's you tend to be more worried that hrt won't have the desired effect and want to see good results to give you hope (thanks Izumi ;))

I'm only five months in on hrt and started at 38, I was also still smoking at the time so progress has been slowish, but people really are starting to see noticable changes but as ever, I'm trying to keep expectations realistic.

If all else fails then there is always the scalpel! :laugh:

Technically I'm 30, but as I have to get out my driving licence to get people to believe it I'm not sure I count :laugh:

Quote from: Madelyn on October 31, 2010, 12:41:21 PM
Even now I'm not sure I'm ready, but I know that I am to the point in my mindset that the question must find some kind of resolution either way. Either I need to move forward, or accept my life as-is and find something to just "get by" for the rest of my years. I don't know how either of these are possible, but I hope to find the answers soon.

I think in alot of ways, you're already answering your own question, as in "I don't know what else to do BUT transition".  I'm trying to think of the right phrase and all that comes to mind is "transition or die" either mentally or physically.  We all reach that point at some time in our life, for you it just happened to be your 30s.

As for being successful, a haphazard response to a disaster is probably worse then the disaster itself.  Take your time, plan your next moves and be thorough about your transition - don't be another failed transition.  Something no one wants to talk about happening in their 20s, 30s or 60s.

Quote
Anyway, I'm curious if anyone has any ideas about 30's transition in terms of how the body handles it, and whether or not they have friends who successfully transitioned around this age and turned out passable and happy. Am I right in thinking that I'm not seeing as many examples online of people who transitioned in their 30's? If so I wonder why that is.

In my experience most people transition and get on with their life.  They don't project the trans persona online post-transition becuase they're just female, trans is a means to an end, and they just want to live a normal life.

I turn 40 in just over a month, and you can see how HRT has been treating me on my SydneyTinker channel on YouTube. I've been at it just over 7 months.

Right now I can't think of anything I'd trade it for, even though I'm only several months in.

It is never too late. But, of course, the younger the better.

Caroline

I'm 35 and started my transition a while back.. Just going through the required motions to start HRT, which hopefully will happen in the next few months - but I need to give up smoking first.. I'm doing this for me, so passing is not my number one aim, but it would be nice.. But it seems that good results come from hard work rather than simply age.. Yes, starting young is better, but as Kate and others demonstrate, you can start much older and still have great results..

Thanks so much for everyone who responded to my original question. It does indeed seem like there are less people in their thirties who are posting their experience on here, but I think that the reasons that many of you are giving here make total sense. Like, once many transition they want to get on with life, and so maybe become less active in the community as a result.

I also wonder if maybe my concern about how my body will fare through the transition, and whether I can be passable is also a function of my age. I look around at many of the women in my peer group and basically I wonder if I can blend in with them. I look at my body currently and then look at many in my peer group and wonder if maybe I'll just stick out like a sore thumb and draw too much attention to myself. Seeing a few of the pictures posted is really helpful, and I'm so glad that so many of you responded. You are all very beautiful.

One thing that also sticks out for me in this thread is all the talk about if you put in the time and work hard at your transition you can have great results. I think I'll start another thread about this because I'm interested in this topic more in terms of the hard work that needs to be done, and how to know what that is for you.

Ultimately, I want to be sure I can be successful and feel better about myself and my body as a result of transition. Both in terms of confirming both with myself and my therapist that this something I absolutely need to do, and in making sure I have the tools and the strength to have a healthy and successful transition. I've experienced enough pain in life because of this - I want it to end, but I want to be sure I'm not making the decision too hastily. All your thoughts are so helpful. Thank you!

it is possible that the lack of 30's MtF's may be because most are still in the marriages they entered in the days when they didn't or couldn't acknowledge being TS.

I kind of agree with lilac. Also I think it is a combination of young kids, relatively new marriages, financial pressures etc make it hard to transition in your 30's.

I'm 33, I am happy, I 'pass', though I live openly as a trans person.

FWIW, although I consistently don't pass by any stretch of the imagination, most of the people here in central Mississippi seem to either not care, be supportive, or be unwilling to say anything to my face.

I imagine the situation varies regionally and based on one's standing within the community, but I expected things to be way worse than they are.

I was born very end of the 1950's...

Knew I was in difficulty early twenties.... transitioned late twenties did major surgeries... early thirties.... lived stealth... still do...

And now am in my early fifties are doing the 'final' tweaks I can now afford to do well....

To take me (still stealth) nicely into my sixties.... as as sassy, sexy gal!  :P

I think age has less to do with passing then most people realize.  I've seen people who transitioned as teenagers (under 18) and get read and I've seen people who transitioned in their 60s and pass without any problems.  Your looks may be flawed, but if your presentation is accurate most people won't really give you a second thought.

Quote from: Madelyn on November 02, 2010, 01:30:08 PM
Thanks so much for everyone who responded to my original question. It does indeed seem like there are less people in their thirties who are posting their experience on here, but I think that the reasons that many of you are giving here make total sense. Like, once many transition they want to get on with life, and so maybe become less active in the community as a result.

I also wonder if maybe my concern about how my body will fare through the transition, and whether I can be passable is also a function of my age. I look around at many of the women in my peer group and basically I wonder if I can blend in with them. I look at my body currently and then look at many in my peer group and wonder if maybe I'll just stick out like a sore thumb and draw too much attention to myself. Seeing a few of the pictures posted is really helpful, and I'm so glad that so many of you responded. You are all very beautiful.

One thing that also sticks out for me in this thread is all the talk about if you put in the time and work hard at your transition you can have great results. I think I'll start another thread about this because I'm interested in this topic more in terms of the hard work that needs to be done, and how to know what that is for you.

Ultimately, I want to be sure I can be successful and feel better about myself and my body as a result of transition. Both in terms of confirming both with myself and my therapist that this something I absolutely need to do, and in making sure I have the tools and the strength to have a healthy and successful transition. I've experienced enough pain in life because of this - I want it to end, but I want to be sure I'm not making the decision too hastily. All your thoughts are so helpful. Thank you!

Well work as in doing everything you possibly can get the best results you can. For example:

Figuring out and doing a diet that would be beneficial to MTF secondary sex characteristic development (ie, more carbs and fats, less protein)
Figuring out and doing exercises to max out those characters as well, hips, legs, thighs, aerobics, etc.. but not upper body except abs, obliques and lower back  then sticking to your workout routine.

Waxing excess body hair from time to time at a salon
Pedicures
manicures
Learning to take care of your skin
Learning to take care of your hair
Learning the basics to makeup and how it works
Learning the styles of clothing that work best with your body to minimize stuff you dont want and maximize your good qualities.
Tightlacing to improve shape (12 hours a day, this was painful, but had good results over time)
Laser / Electrolysis for perm hair removal
Speech practice (if you need it)
Learn to use proper accessories (i suck at this, still learning)
Understanding how hormones work, for example eating something higher in cholesterol after you HRT shots usually improves the results.
Learning to walk in heels heh
Making sadistic choices on clothing:  Should i go for comfort? or should i wear this uncomfortable thing because it makes my ass look good? hmmm choices choices..

And working 2 jobs to fund all this and SRS. 

being a woman is tough... heh. 

Its a lot of work but you get used to it after a while, but diet and exercise are the most important, the healthier you are the better the HRT will work.

Quote from: Izumi on November 03, 2010, 12:01:03 PM
Well work as in doing everything you possibly can get the best results you can. For example:

Figuring out and doing a diet that would be beneficial to MTF secondary sex characteristic development (ie, more carbs and fats, less protein)
Figuring out and doing exercises to max out those characters as well, hips, legs, thighs, aerobics, etc.. but not upper body except abs, obliques and lower back  then sticking to your workout routine.

Waxing excess body hair from time to time at a salon
Pedicures
manicures
Learning to take care of your skin
Learning to take care of your hair
Learning the basics to makeup and how it works
Learning the styles of clothing that work best with your body to minimize stuff you dont want and maximize your good qualities.
Tightlacing to improve shape (12 hours a day, this was painful, but had good results over time)
Laser / Electrolysis for perm hair removal
Speech practice (if you need it)
Learn to use proper accessories (i suck at this, still learning)
Understanding how hormones work, for example eating something higher in cholesterol after you HRT shots usually improves the results.
Learning to walk in heels heh
Making sadistic choices on clothing:  Should i go for comfort? or should i wear this uncomfortable thing because it makes my ass look good? hmmm choices choices..

And working 2 jobs to fund all this and SRS. 

being a woman is tough... heh. 

Its a lot of work but you get used to it after a while, but diet and exercise are the most important, the healthier you are the better the HRT will work.

Oh wow...putting in that way is like punching someone in the face xD

Being a woman is tough, yup. Really tougher than men would imagine @_@

Quote from: Aidan_ on November 03, 2010, 12:16:55 PM
Oh wow...putting in that way is like punching someone in the face xD

Being a woman is tough, yup. Really tougher than men would imagine @_@

Having lived both lifestyles, i think a man's life is much easier, sorry guys.  Anyone that doesnt have TS and wants to live as a woman when they are a man is crazy in my book.  Gone are the days where i can just throw on some jeans and t shirt and i am out the door.  1 hour to get ready to do anything now if my hair isnt done... takes me 30 minutes sometimes deciding what to wear...   before i used to wake up at 5:30 and out the door in 5 minutes, now i wake up at 4 >,<.

 :o The weird thing is, I've never been able to get ready quickly, ever!

Quote from: MillieB on November 03, 2010, 01:29:26 PM
:o The weird thing is, I've never been able to get ready quickly, ever!

Same here, and i was better with the hair straighteners than my ex. :laugh:

Quote from: Helena on November 03, 2010, 04:39:03 PM
Same here, and i was better with the hair straighteners than my ex. :laugh:

Me too, the fastest I can get myself ready if Mark springs a surprise night out is just over an hour, choosing a dress or outfit, then my hair and makeup, Iv too many shoes lol, getting ready is part of the fun, an understanding guy knows it takes time for a girl to get ready, just a woman's privilege, he just rolls his eyes and says WOMEN!! LOL
Pauline

I am 38 and will turn 39 in a couple of months, I will probably be 39 before hormones start, so I am at the cusp. I had just gotten married and had a child on the way when I came out to my wife (now-ex) at 32 but then went into denial again for another 6 years because I was afraid I'd never see my newborn daughter.

Anyway now I am getting ready like Izumi talks about. I have lost 30 pounds in the past 4 months, eating a healthy diet, started laser hair removal, seeing my gender therapist, practicing voice, learning makeup, about to add some exercise routines into the mix. 

Tightlacing? I had not heard about this.

How does it works?

Quote from: Maiara on November 03, 2010, 08:02:12 PM
Tightlacing? I had not heard about this.

How does it works?

True tightlacing requires a specially made corset, basically you tie it tightly in the waste to get an hourglass figure over time, it shifts bones and organs over time if you wear it enough, however, i use a milder form of it that is less extreme.  I use a corset from fredricks of hollywood that has metal ribbing, i tie it taught enough that i lose maybe 4-5 inches off my waistline and just leave it on for a minimum of 8 hours, but usually over 12, even wear it while i sleep, its not comfortable or healthy, but over time it does get results, went from a 34 inch waist to a 29.

Quote from: Izumi on November 04, 2010, 11:55:13 AM
True tightlacing requires a specially made corset, basically you tie it tightly in the waste to get an hourglass figure over time, it shifts bones and organs over time if you wear it enough, however, i use a milder form of it that is less extreme.  I use a corset from fredricks of hollywood that has metal ribbing, i tie it taught enough that i lose maybe 4-5 inches off my waistline and just leave it on for a minimum of 8 hours, but usually over 12, even wear it while i sleep, its not comfortable or healthy, but over time it does get results, went from a 34 inch waist to a 29.

When you say not healthy, what problems could you have from doing that?

Quote from: Sadie on November 04, 2010, 12:27:09 PM
When you say not healthy, what problems could you have from doing that?

Just look up tightlacing in wikipedia, your kind of re-arranging where your organs sit in the body, probably not the best thing to do.  However, their is a lot of information the web on this.

Hmm, I'm a bit scared of that! :o

Really could do with some diet and exersize tips though as that's my next big thing now that I have given up smoking (so many bad habits to work through! :embarrassed:)

Quote from: Izumi on November 04, 2010, 12:49:58 PM
Just look up tightlacing in wikipedia, your kind of re-arranging where your organs sit in the body, probably not the best thing to do.  However, their is a lot of information the web on this.

That does look a bit scary. How much time did it take for you to go from a 34 to 29 inch waist?

Quote from: Sadie on November 04, 2010, 02:53:24 PM
That does look a bit scary. How much time did it take for you to go from a 34 to 29 inch waist?

about 1 year

I've read about tight lacing to reduce waist size (and shape rib cage) and am interested in it too. From what I can tell most people recommend you get fitted and have a corset designed for your body because this can avoid causing any back problems. But many people use more standard corsets too and have a good result.

The problem with getting a custom corset is that they are $500 or more. Then again, $500 to reduce your waist and give your ribcage a more feminine line might be worth it for many. If I can afford it when I get to that point I might just go for a custom one.

I have used a corset off and on for quite a while.  You get used to them.

The important thing is that you shouldn't lace so tight it makes you ill or unable to breath. Your body adjusts to the tightness over time.

I have a problem wearing them all day because I'm not full time, and male clothing don't work well with them.  They also are complicated to wear with lower wasted women's clothes but are awesome with skirts and dresses.

I used to be able to sleep in them, but that takes a long time to adjust to.   :) 

I love them, but they are not for the feign of heart.  :D

Well... I am in my 30's... and I will start next week... so one more to the group!!!

About the corsets... the important thing to remember is that if you have extra help keeping the body straight using a corset, your muscles can get used to it... and not be strong enough to do it anymore without the extra help (corset).

So it is important to remember that you should exercise those muscles extra... if you plant to wear the "extra-help" for 12 hours... (that is like a vacations for them doing nothing!!)

But I think those can perform an outstanding job to reduce the waist size!!!

I am now 36, I started my hormonal transition 4yrs ago, and have been full time 2yrs.  :) still feel like I'm in my 20's

I started HRT two years ago at age 32.  So many factors go into the success of a transition it would make your head spin.  Age is just one of them.  Many older transitioners do very well, some of the younger ones really struggle, and vice versa.  Most of the 30-ish transitioners I've encountered have come through it pretty well, but that is completely anecdotal.  I am sure we have similar rates of success as the other age groups.

I have posted loads of pics of myself on susans before, but I don't know where or if they even still exist lol.  I posted some recent ones at this link (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,35756.msg620359.html#msg620359) for ya.  There have been significant physical changes, tho much less than I would prefer.  Hormones have had more of an effect on my mood than anything else.  I am happy and glad to be alive, something I couldn't have imagined saying a few years ago.

Hey! I am 32 too, and I have just started!!! :)

(counting day 0... I am in my third day...)

Quote from: Nero on November 01, 2010, 11:48:08 AM
There are a lot of 'mid' transitioners who transition in their late 20s/early 30s. It may not be as common as the early or late peeps though. Wonder why that is.

I can't speak globally, but I can speak to my own situation.  I was originally on track to be a 20-something transitioner, but became derailed by two major life changes (recovery of repressed childhood rape memories and death of a parent).  It ended up delaying me by several years because I felt it was critical to deal with those issues before tackling transition.

To the OP, I've had a very successful transition in my 30s.  Long story short - transitioned on and have maintained my original job and have continued to climbing in terms of responsibility and pay.  Physically, my body has responded amazingly well to HRT during the 4ish years I am on it; minus my factory installed extras my body is very feminine to the point people *only* know if I disclose to them my past -- in fact, I've been very lucky to wind-up attractive by cis-female standards.  A rite of passage in my office building for new male employees is no one discloses my status until the new employee asks about the hottie in the halls.  I have very little difficulties finding dates with non-->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s.  (Although there does tend to be a lot of false starts of heterosexual males who think they can cope with it, but ultimately can not.)  I've got a strong social network of mostly cis-friends.  The roughest thing I have endured has been a strained relationship with my family, but even that has been mild compared to most.

So a successful transition is very possible in your 30s.

Just to cheer everyone up, one of the things my counsellor told me is that the average age for transition for MtF's is 40(ish) so hey, we're still bucking the trend. ;D

Quote from: Helena on November 22, 2010, 05:14:24 PM
Just to cheer everyone up, one of the things my counsellor told me is that the average age for transition for MtF's is 40(ish) so hey, we're still bucking the trend. ;D

hehehehe

good to know!!!

We are beating the average :)  (just joking!)

Just thought I'd resurrect this thread since we've had number of new members join the forums and I'm not sure if there are others that are in their 30's who want to share.

As for me, I'm in the last few steps before starting HRT now. I've gone off the AA's that have kept me sane the last couple years (I was on a low dose), and am waiting a few weeks for an analysis of my fertility (for cryo). Whether or not the fertility is there I will likely be on HRT in March or April. Starting E at age 34, with AA's started at 32.

Anyway, anyone else transition or transitioning in their 30's?

I guess I'll quickly post in here since I can only technically do that for another 2.5 weeks! I started transitioning in August 2010 at the age of 39.

Quote from: Melody Maia on January 24, 2011, 12:52:31 AM
I guess I'll quickly post in here since I can only technically do that for another 2.5 weeks! I started transitioning in August 2010 at the age of 39.

Nah you'll be 39 for years to come.  :D

37 and started HRT two months ago. Got the guts in large part due to your postings on Susans.....
-M

I'm in the same boat as Melody in that I'll be out of my thirties in 8 months (I'm going back to my twenties! >:-))

What happens? Do we get blasted off the thread 'Logans Run' style? :laugh:

I started off at 36 and i'm very happy with the results. I've developed a fairly nice figure through HRT. I pass most of the time and have my 29" waist. It largely depends on what shape you are to start with but you can do lots of things to improve your appearance.

Good luck!

Quote from: Cassie on January 24, 2011, 12:59:33 PM
I started off at 36 and i'm very happy with the results. I've developed a fairly nice figure through HRT. I pass most of the time and have my 29" waist. It largely depends on what shape you are to start with but you can do lots of things to improve your appearance.

Good luck!

I'm pretty sure that I would develop a decent shape if I could just lose weight. Which to be honest I haven't really tried yet but I need to adress If I'm ever going to have a nice body. That said, not all women have a nice shape. >:(

Yes, anyone who is not in their thirties anymore will be erased from existence :)

I'm just kidding! Of course all are welcome to post here. I've just felt there was a lower representation in the 30-something group when it comes to transition and wanted to see who is out there :)

Cassie, a 29" waist is great! How did you achieve that?

QuoteCassie, a 29" waist is great! How did you achieve that?

By being skinny!

Actually it was about 34", then I did loads of excercise and got it down to about 32" before starting hormones. Since being on HRT i've cut out pretty much all excercise but eat healthily - lots of fruit, veg and cereals (and chocolate. Very important chocolate). I've reduced my alcohol consumption to about one glass of wine a month. My hips have gone from 37" to near 40" and my chest from 36" to 34B. My face has filled out nicely too. Basically everything is going in the right direction and i'm happy about that.

Quote from: MillieB on January 24, 2011, 01:39:59 PM
I'm pretty sure that I would develop a decent shape if I could just lose weight. Which to be honest I haven't really tried yet but I need to adress If I'm ever going to have a nice body. That said, not all women have a nice shape. >:(

You get out of it what you put into it.  while results may very i gave transition 100% diet and exercise, every little thing i could do to improve my chances i did.  The results were good in my case, recently my body has been evening out a lot and i get a few whistles from guys here and there. 

My only advice is to treat transition as the most important thing, because if you try your hardest and fail then maybe its fate, but if you dont try your hardest then you will never really know if it could have been better and therefor cant put blame on the world when it could have been your own doing that hindered the results.

If someone has some weight to lose is it better to lose the weight first then start HRT, or start HRT and just continue on weight loss?

I'm 190 right now and am 5'10" so I'd really like to get down to about 150-160. But it will take me a little time to get there probably and I might like to start HRT before that! But I do want to do the best thing for my body too, so if it's better to wait maybe I should.

Quote from: Izumi on January 24, 2011, 03:23:50 PM
You get out of it what you put into it.  while results may very i gave transition 100% diet and exercise, every little thing i could do to improve my chances i did.  The results were good in my case, recently my body has been evening out a lot and i get a few whistles from guys here and there. 

My only advice is to treat transition as the most important thing, because if you try your hardest and fail then maybe its fate, but if you dont try your hardest then you will never really know if it could have been better and therefor cant put blame on the world when it could have been your own doing that hindered the results.

I completely get what you are saying and I do take things seriously, however I prioritised giving up smoking first and wanted to get stabilised with that before attempting to lose weight. However this is now done and time to turn my attention to my weight because I have actually put on weight since starting hrt. I'm not the type to make excuses or blame others and I'm overweight because I eat to much and exercise too little. However, it's not healthy for me to get too obsessed with what could have been. Like everyone else, some things go better in transition than others and overall I'm fairly pleased. :)

I aimed to burn off as much male fat as I could pre-transition.

Fat cells take about five years to deteriorate and as you excercise you burn off the most recent fat first, so if you get your male fat down to a minimum you can then start to acumulate female fat and develop your shape. If you have a lot of male fat on when you start HRT it'll take you a few years to form a good feminine shape.

Hi Madelyn

I seemed to have missed this thread and at this stage I have not read all of it, but I will in good time so if I say something that has already been mentioned or discussed then I apologise for saying so.

I have mentioned in other threads the reasons why I finally left my family and friends.  However the main two are, one I did not want them to suffer any consequences of what I was going to do, because I was well known from where I came from.  Secondly my feelings were getting stronger and stronger as the years went by until one year just before Christmas and just before my 29th birthday I had an 'epiphany' (as others have mentioned around here).  One year later I left everything, I was going to university (did not happen for another 5 years), I left someone who I finally realised I loved (who did not know) and finally I wanted to sort out my personal problem once and for all.

When I left I was just not quite 30 years old and I was happy at last that I was making a decision, that I knew resonated so deeply inside me with such conviction that I never questioned what I was doing or what I was going to do.  I knew it was the right thing to do.  I was working and living full time inside of 3 months.  How was I able to do this straight away? I changed my name legally and all my other documents as quickly as I could. In addition I had long hair, I spoke very softly, I waxed my face in the initial stages.  I only told one person (he was a consultant who found work for people with certain skills) about my past work history and he said do not worry about it, I went onto hormones straight away and I never got involved with the community.  After two years of endocrinologists and psychiatrists I had my operation. 

As to before and after pictures I never did like my pictures being taken of me before, which in a sense has served me well (I do not want those memories in a sense, it stops others from doing any comparisons and I do not have my picture taken very much now.  Usually because I'm the one who takes them and would I ever post pictures of myself? No because I'm a very private person.  However, there are lots people on Youtube and here at Susan's on what they looked liked before and after.  They will certainly show you what is possible and give you inspiration. You will have to give it time to make those changes.

You are wondering about whether its too late, well K8 is certainly one who would give inspiration to those would consider changing so late in life.  K8 certainly puts paid to the idea, that it's never to late.

You have a wealth of information at your fingertips and unlike me, I had virtually none and in a sense I think that was good because, I would be questioning everything and wondering what I was going to do about it.  So how did I resolve my problem? It basically went like this, I knew what I wanted and I just did it.

Do you know what you are going to expect? That depend on what you do and you will never no what to expect unless you try it.  Yes, I wish I had all the knowledge when I was young and I also wished that I changed when I was a lot younger, however that is just wishful thinking and there is nothing that I can do that will change that aspect of my life.  I have lived my life as any normal person can expect and I have had my ups and downs.

I only once ever considered that if I regretted my decision there was virtually no way that I could ever change what I had done and I would have to accept the consequences of my decision.  Of course only you can ever make those decisions on what you want to do with your life.

I was never able to describe my experiences because the internet was not around and I just lived my life out in the suburbs and in addition come this February it will be 20 years since my operation and I will 52 years old and life could not be even better.  Oh and of course I have never regretted my decision.

Take care and all the best for the future

Kind regards
Sarah B
PS Of course there are people in their 30's who change their life around they just have to write about it in a thread!

I started HRT although the results have been great.  I've seen hair regrowth in the areas of my head that were balding (it wasn't too bad before though), developed curves and my face has changed loads.  I had a quite naturally feminine body though which probably helped things but 30 is still a young age to transistion.

The younger you are does have some advantage over older people who transition later in life, however in saying that I've know people in their twenties that had not had good results on HRT and their bodies did not morph through fat redistribution and boob growth on the other hand some others 50+ have had great results on HRT. These have had no ffs either. When it comes down to it, it still is genetics and how many estrogen receptors are in your body and that counts for those born biologically male too.

Some males have large amounts of estrogen receptors and thus in transition HRT does a great deal. I didn't start my transition until late but have had wonderful results on HRT. One other factor I found is that after GRS the effects of HRT is even more astounding. Its therefore never to late to be yourself.

Stardust

In my 30's (31, turn 32 in November) and in the very earliest of stages, early to the point of having one therapy appointment thus far.

I'm excited about things and at times want to rush the process as much as possible.

At other times still have very real worries in my head, that I have to work through. Mainly the employment situation. I'm currently the night supervisor at a local grocery store and there is just no way I'm going to able to keep the same job... no iffs ands or buts about it.

If it wasn't for fears about finding and maintaining employment, I would be more than happy to start HRT as soon as the next day or two. Just cannot shake that one issue though.

I just checked my ID.
My birthday was a little over a week ago. However......
Houston we have a problem.
The same said ID is saying something about Michy being, gasp, 35!!! Thirty-five? Where the frack did the time go? It seems like yesterday I was 25.

Whoever said, "tomorrow never comes". LIED.

Well by the looks of this thread I M in good company.

Have you ever looked through the pages on TS women successes at Lynn Conway's site?
I'm pretty sure there are a number of examples there of people who transitioned in their 30's.  I believe Lynn Conway did herself but it was many years ago and you are probably looking for more recent examples.

Donna Rose would be one there is a lot of public information about. She transistioned in her late 30's, I believe -about 10 years ago.  Among other things she operates a recovery house in Scottsdale as an option for patients who have SRS surgery with Dr. Meltzer

<--------------- points at avatar. I'm 30, though I started hormones 2 months before my 30th. So it's not all doom and gloom you know.

Quote from: Helena on February 07, 2011, 07:09:04 AM
<--------------- points at avatar. I'm 30, though I started hormones 2 months before my 30th. So it's not all doom and gloom you know.

I have seen your pictures from a ways back, your really coming along nice.  Looking good.

I am in my mid 30s, started transition at 31.  Made a lot of progress through hard work.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hawaiibd.com%2FB1.jpg&hash=9f7e4a2c211bd9667b9e6410d34401d43015f3e7)

Still need to fix my nose though, for medical reasons as well as cosmetic.

sometimes i forget when i look in the mirror that it's actually less than a year since i started my transition.

Quote from: Helena on February 07, 2011, 10:58:34 AM
sometimes i forget when i look in the mirror that it's actually less than a year since i started my transition.

Wait till you hit 2 years, thats when the goodness starts.

It just flies by...I hit the six months on HRT mark back at the end of january and I just know that I'll be at the 1 year mark before i know it.

It also depends on when ye were born...

Now in the 21st cent year 2000+....Dr's are at least far more open familiar with it, as a treatable condition... and treatment programmes/tools are in place for kids... and youngsters... which is when its best to start.

When i was born in the late 1950s.... it was all a mystery...swept under the carpet....

By the time i'd figured out what was 'wrong' we were into the 1970s... even then trying to get any conventional Dr's to admit they knew about it all or what to do...was like extracting blood from a stone...

And GID clinics didn't really exist at all... hormones in the main were black-market.

Twas too more or less still at a pioneering field/stage...lol And 1960s charecters such as April Ashley had lived in what would term the twilight zone...

Paris had a TG community in the Pigalle.... notorious at the time... and then of course there was Andy, the factory and Candy Darling...

My how we've come a long way since then....

Woe is me, as of yesterday I must tender my resignation to this thread. Can anyone point me to the "Transitioning in your 40's" thread? lol.

Quote from: Melody Maia on February 11, 2011, 04:20:17 PM
Woe is me, as of yesterday I must tender my resignation to this thread. Can anyone point me to the "Transitioning in your 40's" thread? lol.

Start one Melody, I'll join, lol. Well technically I started at 49 but now 52 and finished, lol.

Stardust

You guys don't have to leave!! :)

Quote from: Madelyn on February 11, 2011, 05:21:07 PM
You guys don't have to leave!! :)

guys? not any more, got rid of the guy bits, lol.

stardust

Since I started this thread looking for encouragement from others who started around the same time I did I thought I'd provide a little update.

I started HRT in the beginning of April and am almost 8 weeks into HRT. I started a week after my 34th birthday.

Thank you all for your responses, and if there's anyone else out there that's thinking of transitioning in your 30's, just know that there are others of us out there that are also on this path. :)

Although I'm only early stages, I'm getting ready to transition.
I could have done this at 22 / 23 except I was too transient and not really settled enough. Nor Mature or financial.

At 25 I begun a relationship that finished sadly a few months back with passing of my partner of nine years. I told her from the very beginning that how I saw myself and it churned in my head all these years.

Now at 35, it is now or never. I am more financial, Mature, knowledgeable, have a place that I can call my own.

I see transition taking 5 years for me. That's only a ball park figure but hope to start HRT in the next year, starting to come out of the closet now, just have to be more settled with jobwise, after all, a girl has to work.

I don't think it really matters when we transition, there are no right or no wrong answers

having just hit 38 yesterday I guess I just say qualify for this thread

Quote from: Madelyn on May 21, 2011, 06:16:26 PM
Since I started this thread looking for encouragement from others who started around the same time I did I thought I'd provide a little update.

I started HRT in the beginning of April and am almost 8 weeks into HRT. I started a week after my 34th birthday.

Thank you all for your responses, and if there's anyone else out there that's thinking of transitioning in your 30's, just know that there are others of us out there that are also on this path. :)

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you are 34!

that's every bit of 10 years more than i thought.

Quote from: Tammy Hope on May 27, 2011, 02:05:57 AM
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you are 34!

that's every bit of 10 years more than i thought.

That's such a nice thing to say Tammy. Thank you!  :-*

Count me as another... :)  Started HRT 3 days before my 33rd birthday.  However, my first three months were pretty much worthless because the E dose was so low and spiro didn't make even the tiniest dent in my T levels, so I didn't begin functioning HRT until 3 months after my birthday.  Even my doc tells me the results were so bad I shouldn't even count my first three months. :laugh:

I'm now at 5.5 months and the results have been amazing, but mostly facial.  Then again, I also started while 25 pounds underweight for my height (5'11", 120 pounds) and that could explain the lack of body work.  Muscle definition, what little I had, has decreased and skin has softened.

The biggest changes I'm looking forward to but haven't happened yet are that my skin is as ridiculously oily as before, and I've had no thinning or lightening of body hair.  I'm thankful that I wasn't hairy in the first place.  I had like five hairs around my belly button that weren't even coarse, and none on my chest, shoulders, back, or upper arms (I didn't even have facial hair past the outside corners of my eyes, not even sideburns).  Armpit hair seems to have had a slight loss of coarseness, but leg hair hasn't dissipated or thinned at all.  My lower arms (and elbows) didn't have coarse hair and most of it was light blonde, but there's just a lot of it.  These light hairs are also on my hands and fingers and the pores around them are huge.  Which is to say my lower arms and hands are VERY male and my least passable feature.  I still have to shave them and my legs every other day.  Hopefully all of this will change in the future.

Breast development...?  Ugh.  I don't know if it's weight or genetics, but after 5.5 months, I'm still only about halfway to an A cup.  No clue where I'll wind up given that my mom is barely an A.  But her mother and sisters all had/have D or higher and my sister is a C.  I recently put on 25 pounds and the entirety of it went straight to my belly.  Not so pleased about that one.  I had been hoping for more even distribution or something to go to my breasts. :laugh:

But still, I had an instance this week where I nearly couldn't buy something because the clerk flat out didn't believe that I was the person on my license.  She argued that a) the person on my license was a boy, and b) he looked like he could be my brother, but definitely not me.  I dropped into my boy voice out of desperation (even did my voice that sounds like The Who song "Boris the Spider") and she still argued with me for another five minutes that there was no way I was a guy.  I pretty much left that store feeling like a million bucks. ;D

So no, 33 is definitely not too late.  Like others have commented, HRT can be as much about genetics as it is about age.

Zoe, one thing you will notice about breast size is that the tall slim girl usually have very small to small breasts.  Fat tissue makeup part of the breast size and if you have little fat you will have smaller breasts. 

Quote from: mm on June 02, 2011, 02:44:54 PM
Zoe, one thing you will notice about breast size is that the tall slim girl usually have very small to small breasts.  Fat tissue makeup part of the breast size and if you have little fat you will have smaller breasts.

Kind of depends though... my sister is 5'10", 135 pounds, and has C cups.  I got myself back up to 145 (my old high school weight) in the last two months and hoping it'll make a difference. :)

I started hrt when i was 36 and am in my 17th month. I am 5' 11" and weigh in at 155lbs. i have a banging body, all thanx to hrt! good luck

Madelyn, honey, I'm beyond 50 and believe me the thirties aren't too late to transition.  You have your entire life ahead of you. Though I don't personally know you or your situation my advice is to go for it.  As far as passing goes, it's something I think all of us worry or have worried about.  The hormones will soften your skin, give you the secondary female characteristics and certainly cause you to literally change in mood and outlook.  As a personal note, I plan on ffs because of my features and even with that ahead of me I know at this stage in my life it's all worth it.  Good luck and remember you're not alone.

I am 5' 11" , 35yrs also and roughly 145 pounds so it is good to see that other girls in similar frame have had good results. Yes I know it depends on other things too. I will probably be 36 by the time I start, as soon as I find another decent therapist. My existing therapist tried saying that it wouldn't do anything to my skin lol

I was wondering about the age gap myself.

Perhaps the reason there seem to be fewer people transitioning in their thirties would be because it is generally the decade when you are most likely to have a young family.  This would cause a lot of people to put off any attempt to change for fear of hurting their family, so they decide to wait until the kids are older. 

Or alternatively had already made a decision before they established a family, that is in their 20's or earlier.

Karen.

I am so happy to see this thread, as a 35 year old just starting to open up to this.  I am not on HRT but I have been discussing it with a therapist.  I definitely think that maybe the mid-thirties marks a time of hitting a stride in one's career and/or family life, but for me I've always hit an impossible wall in both respects.  That is what initially brought me into therapy.  While my friends found success in careers and social life, I found disaster at every turn.

While I had a certain intuitive sense about myself but I never really thought it meant I would think of transitioning.  When I was in my twenties I had several psuedo-breakdowns relating to academics, relationships, career, family, etc.  I always channeled my energy into things to distract me from the REAL identity crisis at hand.  It wasn't until my thirties that I started to see this pattern for what it was.  It wasn't until my thirties that I had the complete desperation to challenge it, to face it and ultimately accept it.

After nearly 2 years of gender-specific therapy, I'm ready to move on to the next step.

My name is Tina and I'm 32. This is my second time around! I started transitioning the "first time around" @ 18 years old, I am tall stocky naturally big boned person so transitioning has always been a challenge. Transitioning at 30 is definitely different from transitioning at 18, When I was younger the hormones changed my appearance at a accelerated level, I went from  a basket ball player look to femme fatal in 2 1/2 years. Breast development started rapidly within two weeks of transition, Within six months I had fully developed cup breast. I was starting the past as female I went from laughs too people actually thinking I was female, My hair was growing at a accelerated rate it was thicker fuller within months My transition was so fast by 20 years old I had a total female look and  I was beautiful muscle tone had diminished rapidly, body hair diminished, skin was soft and dewy glow like I was Pregnant. I was female totally female by looks. I stop transitioning at about 22 years old due to family situations and drug habits I got married started going to church had two kids but I still felt the inner female in me yearning I may have physically looked male but I was still mentally female I didn't feel any different from my teenage years I felt like I was the same person just in a more masculine form. I  tried to take testosterone to erase all the feminizaition harmones did to me but it didn't help I still have breast tissue So I felt like a freak show. I got a divorce and started transitioning again at 29 years old I've been living full time for the last year and it's been an uphill Battle. When I was younger transitioning was easier it seemed like the hormones were working at a Excellerated rate, I've kind of been discouraged because I've been laughed mocked I don't know if my licks what ever match my heart I'm very disappointed this time around, I feel like a monster I'm so big tall and manly lookin I think passing as female could only be a dream for me This is just my experience I just wanted to vent with people that would understand what I'm going thru

I am 33. I just began transitioning.

transitioning younger might give more hrt effects, "might" coz
Also for some younger people it does not work...
Passability has more to do with how you look then your age...
Hornones arent magic pills...
And there are younger girls, age 18 for instance that can be less passable then a 30 yo, this has more to do with the bonestructure of your face then hormones

Welcome to the thread everyone. :) I'm very glad there are other 30 something out there that are on the path, or are at least thinking about this kind of thing like I was when I started this thread.

When I started this thread last year I was still very much dealing with the severe stress and fears of facing transition. But in the end I didn't know what else to do. I found peace with it and was able to move forward. I've been on HRT for a few months now and went full time in March of this year.

I wish you each peace and success on your journey, whatever your journey might be. I can say that after going full time I really do pass about 95% of the time. And for the people that read me I think honestly that they don't care too much. I have to work on my voice, this is something I think gives me away.

Anyway - I wish you each courage and strength. Transition is harder than I thought, but it's also much more "normal" than I would have thought too. It does feel right in many ways and my dysphoria is gone.

I started my transition just before I turned 31. I'm 33 now and have had some very positive results. I'd have liked to have bigger boobs or better waist or butt, though I'll have to find other methods of getting them the way I want.

I started at 35 (well just before 36, which I am now), I found that the best results are that I feel so much beter inside than pre - hrt. In my body I have had quite a few changes on the 10 months I ve been taking them. My boobs are still quite small, but are there, as I'm stick thin this is pretty much what I thought would happen (and wonderbras are amazing), my weight has stayed very close to what I was before, maybe a few pounds more, but not much. My skin is so much softer than before, and body hair has got much thinner.

Thanks for your stories, I'm just now starting to embark on my journey at almost 38 years old. I hope when I get started on HRT that it will be good to me and really make a big change in my appearance.

Hi's,

I'm 33 and am at the very very early stages of transition, seeing a therapist in a few weeks for the first time.
Will hopefully be starting full hrt at 34, but with some luck some AA's in a few months.
I'd start everything now if I could, but need to get a few things in order first.
I'm happy to see there are so many in this age group :)
-
Miya

Madelyn, You look great, don't you dare stop being yourself. You enjoy & become a beautiful young woman, complete & happy. It will all work out, just relax & be yourself. Speech will become calmer, softer each day you enjoy being yourself.

I'm old enough to be your mother so young girl you enjoy your life.

I just turned 32. I feel like life has passed my by so far and I have done nothing to address the issue. I'm looking for the courage to finally make a change. Any pointers?
Alison

Madelyn, from your picture it seems you have dark hair. If you have not used any laser hair removal systems I strongly suggest the Tria Laser product. I just received one & it works great. For you if your body & facial hairs are dark this laser treatment will/should work great. The younger the better before color changes.

Good luck, you will be OK, take it one day at a time.

Reading your comments gives me a sense of peace and hope. I'm 32 now and question how successful I will be. I started HRT at 25 and the effects revealed themselves amazingly fast; though I slowed down and wasn't consistent with HRT with the idea of graduating college first. However, at age 29 when I graduated and was offered an amazing job, giving me the confidence to go full ahead with my transition, I was faced with a devastating problem. Not two weeks after graduation I collapsed, became partially paralyzed along with other issues from a central nervous system illness. Two years later I've finally regained all my functions through medical intervention, and once again began transitioning. I never considered giving up, but I have been disheartened at my potential having lost time, money (high salary job offers), support, and most of my past progress. Reading so much about 'start in your teens or early twenties to be successful', I am very happy to have read all of your comments. It's the words of support I need, and I wish the best of luck to everyone. Thank you! :)

JEM, how are you doing now?  Are you able to transition completely now?  I am in college and hope to get my first job after I graduate completely as guy.

Hey guys, I am coming back to this thread after a bit of time. I just turned 41 last Friday. However, last Tuesday I completed my transition with SRS just under the wire at age 40. I did not have any other surgeries. It was all weight loss and estrogen.  ;D  In my mid-30s I looked like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2FIMG_4454JPG.jpg&hash=d8cdd685333eecb7e276b931b4515c6ce6a0e911)

I started hormones on October 6, 2010 and I looked like this then:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2FIMG_1353.jpg&hash=ee3bc029c6fda70500b0d9f215f374b381b35bfb)

By December I looked like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2FReindeerRun2010.jpg&hash=d5336294d30fb62eb1f8f1e92096333d0d000fd9)

These images are in order from January 2011 to January 2012

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2FDSC_6710-1.jpg&hash=df51efd5de8c868c5623fffcfeb80504d34b4109)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2Fd8e01230-1.jpg&hash=ad5ecce64aa8b968ee58df6e409b833d21ba84e2)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2F464483c9.jpg&hash=cd81e4d260b370106024e5f8ad465f6f4de43108)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2Fadc00e3b.jpg&hash=3fbcec402df8b6073108aff2a6636aaeedcb6106)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2Fe2675e8d-1.jpg&hash=6a94592dabade53fa2335ea3688714ae0a52ecea)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2F331741_280341635362330_100001594860106_771297_1305704984_o.jpg&hash=776c9d86a9ff71663d93b46778e6c7c641dcd581)

That is my story in pics. From first pill to waking up from SRS was 16 months and 1 day. A late start does not have to mean your transition cannot be successful. I have turned out better than I ever could have expected from my starting point. I hope all of you agree.

(reply to mm) Here's a big TMI response from a 32 year old: Am I able to transition completely now? I would say the potential is very good, which seems to be supported in the very fast progress I am showing again. Though there is just much more to consider and work around now. Having been so ill from MS, I've only started bringing in a little income. The odds will be against me having lost all support, comfortable work opportunities that would work with my transition, and a neurological illness that could easily take everything away from me again. I transition in my own way, what makes me happy and comfortable, and I have no plan to stop working toward progress. Though I know to make it in the world, I'm going to have to find a way and good people willing to support me, especially in terms of work, being someone that has a devastating illness in the spine and is outside the norm in a way so many people aren't comfortable with. I was ignorant of Hormone Therapy until age 25, I had always had the strange behavior, or one might say compulsion, to follow an effeminate gender role; up until maybe age eight, I just naturally kept gravitating that way while going to a Catholic school none the less, and boy was I always punished and ignorant enough not to understand why thus continuing to do the same thing. After that, a period of jealousy and uneasiness with the cards I had been delt. The story goes on. Went to college, no violence, learned about hormones, and trying them was addiction waiting to happen. I added a lifelong gravitation toward societies' opposite gender role for me to a new-found physical change that I just acted on without a second thought and immediately felt right about. At this point, I'd say I'm able to transition, I'm relaxed to the point of just aiming toward what promotes my well-being at whatever rate and outcome, and transitioning in some sense or manner has always been part of my life even when projecting myself as male to fend off harrassment (I only wish transitioning was even considered when I was young as opposed to punishment). As Popeye said, "I am what I am", and I'm moving with my goals and change. Though it will/would be so much sweeter to have the resources to push beyond rate of transition, afford the basic things I would come to require (such as facial hair removal), and have it simply feel odd trying to keep up as male. Wheww. I hope I didn't harm your eyes and curiosity.

JEM, thaks for the update.  Good luck to you as you make your throught transitioning.

People in their 30s are building their careers, assuring their roles in society, and finally discarding some rites from their 20s; not to say that they may be just in the beginning of marriages, relationships, and the likes..that is why the majority of people transitioning are either very young with no personal baggage/risk or in their 40's where they are fully formed cognitvely and interpersonally. People in their 40s are more assertive and see no problem transitioning away from their past if that entails achieving self-actualization thru expressing their true selves.

I loved your post. I am 39, very certain about transitioning! Clean slate, no baggage to carry onto my new life, which I am preparing in solid steps..I have not taken anyting and have not done any changes in my body, but thanks to these chats and forums I am educating myself about the best way to go on....I dont want my transition to turn into a Pandora box....

thanks all

Quote from: Izumi on November 01, 2010, 03:40:42 PM
Transitioned in my 30s, 32 to be exact.

This is a picture of me at 29:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg)

This is a picture of me now:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg)

HRT 1.9yrs,  Diet and exercise and hair removal  2 yrs+
I did everything i possibly could to get my body into shape for this thing, and to look as good as i could possibly get for over 2years.  If you have questions i would be glad to help.

No ->-bleeped-<-in Way! :D  your gorgeous! ohhh  You jsut made my day,  starting at 28  so well I can do that!  :D    I could only hope to meet a girl that looks that good :D

I'll throw my hat in: I'm starting midway through 29, so I'll be an official member of this thread in 6 months ;)

Quote from: Melody Maia on February 14, 2012, 12:45:38 AM
;D  In my mid-30s I looked like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1124.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl567%2FMelodyMaia%2FIMG_4454JPG.jpg&hash=d8cdd685333eecb7e276b931b4515c6ce6a0e911)

I started hormones on October 6, 2010 and I looked like this then:

You are obviously the one on the right. Right??  :D  :laugh:  :angel:

Quote from: Melody Mia on February 14, 2012, 12:45:38 AM
That is my story in pics. From first pill to waking up from SRS was 16 months and 1 day. A late start does not have to mean your transition cannot be successful. I have turned out better than I ever could have expected from my starting point. I hope all of you agree.

ABSOLUTELY !! 

Truly Melody, you are a legend, and an inspirational to the whole community. I can't wait to hear the continuing story of your successes and achievements in Post Op life. This is only the start.

Huggs
Catherine

Hi

I am 36 and will be 37 this year.  I had great fears regarding how things would turn out and if HRT would do anything for me.  I think there is a lot of negative belief in the trans communty that unless you're in your 20's its going to be an uphill struggle.  Basically the majority of success depends on your genes.  Younger age helps a lot as life is generally less complicated and youth does have a natural femininity to it, but some 20 yr old trans girls dont pass as well as some 30 year old trans women.  It's a genetic lottery, but being in your 30's can be a very positive time to transition.

Here is me pre everything, and then 4 months on HRT.  I am happy so far but excited with the continuous cumulative effecst that I am seeing.  Its slow and subtle but certainly happening :D

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash4%2F312164_10150273893917759_690077758_7839992_5474036_n.jpg&hash=b18715c06994b3ed8ebf44ffd15f670d08186836)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash4%2F420486_10150517701202759_1542522532_n.jpg&hash=3fb806c0bd34d6b9ac688e1b8fe63a40494c956f)

I'm so happy I cam across this thread!  I'm 30 and had been noticing the same thing.. it seems most come out either earlier or later.  My guess being that it comes down to work and families.  I do have to say it's great to see so much success in our age group.  I'll be starting HRT in a month or so ( i have my first med apt in three weeks).  Originally I didn't plan on coming out till later in life.. then I realized what would be the point of living someone else's life and not my own.  Well wishes to all!

:D

I was 35 when I started to transition.


(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash4%2Fs720x720%2F429759_349413125098492_100000894227296_1071887_1355198032_n.jpg&hash=d7064c4fd8f383b0b6d584d51910d6f2eb2cfb4e)

That pic is of me at 38

...I sure wish you'd blog more :)

I would but graduate classes are killing me :(

Just completed four papers for this week..

Oh I totally understand. I'm at the very end stages of my PhD, and it's really hard finding time to write material unrelated to my work.

Wow. First off Melody I have always been really inspired by your story. You're positively gorgeous inside and out.

A lot has changed for me since I posted my first messages here on Susans. I went full time on my birthday last year (a few days short of a year ago now) and haven't looked back. It's been a bumpy journey at times, but I'm so much more comfortable in my skin now than I used to be.

Here are a couple pictures, taken about 8 months before I started transition, and just last month. These pics are taken nearly two years apart.

Six months before Estrogen:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmadelyn.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpic1%3FAWSAccessKeyId%3D1VCYBH9B034AP6XZ9VG2%26amp%3BExpires%3D1331710642%26amp%3BSignature%3DIq8RsBvNfD57NWGXk8rBCx4xd5s%253D&hash=c0d3b74f1c5110b9618cfa75f93750b64353cc45)

Last month (+11 months full time - I still wear forms btw):
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmadelyn.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpic2%3FAWSAccessKeyId%3D1VCYBH9B034AP6XZ9VG2%26amp%3BExpires%3D1331710869%26amp%3BSignature%3D3Z%252BnLwT6n9Cua5Dqnpz4R6qiTO8%253D&hash=59dfa479a566463faa83456d252dc2154d51ad14)

WOW!! Yourself Madelyn.   :o   :)
You look absolutely Divine. A mighty big congratulations on the fabulous job you've done to date. Hope you are really proud of yourself.  You're following in Melody's foosteps to the letter.

And to think of it; your new life and final journey have just started and you carry sooooo well, even now. I think Melody had better pull her stockings up and get busy. She might have a strong opponent in you to contend with.   :laugh:  :angel:  :laugh:

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

This is a great thread.

I'm 31 and haven't begun transition yet. I visited a therapist twice last year but could not afford to continue. Due to changes to my insurance at work, I think that they will now cover it (I'm calling tomorrow to make sure) and I plan to start up again ASAP. I'm also going to see if they will cover HRT. I'm assuming that they will say "no" but can be talked into it when the time comes.

I started at 29, I'm now 30 and 6 months HRT and I'm flabbergasted by the speed at which I changed...  Apparently I look like a hot 21 years old now >.<

I think at 39 I still qualify, hehe. Anyhow thought I might say aside from hair, clothes, makeup I am progressing nicely physically. I do not think I have a image yet as I have not posted often, but I have been trolling the site for awhile now some very good information in here and thank you.

I'm early thirties - started when I was 30.  You can see my pic.  Or check me out on TransByDef on Youtube.  Thirty is not too old.

32 and will probably be getting started soon.

38 yrs old here... and am looking forward to starting soon myself.  :)

32 here and not long started  :)

I'm 38 and I started HRT on April 23rd.

Jeri

I'm 36 and have my consultation for HRT at the end of May - shouldn't be long after that :)

I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you for this topic.  I am 37 and just starting out and this has certainly uplifted my spirits.

I started my HRT one month before my 30th birthday, and I should be starting E a week before. :) Bring on the 30s! :)

Ok, so did anyone here in our age range have slight thinning of your hair, or even some recession?  I'm just curious on how much..if any my hair will bounce back.  Honestly I really miss my bangs, and it seems that I have some baby bangs coming back, but I'm curious if HRT will thicken things up a bit.

35 and hopefully on schedule to start HRT by 36th birthday.

Was wondering a bit about hair as well - I have loads of thick hair but do have to cover my receeding hairline.  Will it come back at all?  Also have been getting a lot of squiggly silver/white hairs in the sides but they can't seem to make up their mind, sometimes starting out white and then switching back to dark mid-hair.  Is it just stress?  Am I doomed to dye for eternity?

I started hormones a couple months before my 29th birthday. There was no way on this earth I would've ever passed before HRT. I'm now 10 months on HRT and I decided to transition 2 months ago because the hormones changed my appearance so much, that I had to convince people I was male if I was presenting as a male. My appearance continues to change rapidly. So I would have to say that it is entirely possible for hormones to have a strong effect while you are in your 30s.

I think it has more to do with your bodies susceptibility to estrogen, along with the amount of damage that testosterone has done to your body, especially during puberty. I had a very mild puberty (low sex drive, little bone changes in the face, little growth in hands and height etc), and I think that's why HRT has been very effective for me.

I started at 40(almost 9 years ago) and still look like a man:(

Quote from: Jaime on July 01, 2012, 11:11:20 AM
I started at 40 (almost 9 years ago) and still look like a man:(

No you don't!  ;D
Not even close.

Quote from: Jamie D on July 01, 2012, 03:19:02 PM
No you don't!  ;D
Not even close.

That's because of the lighting in the pics.

Lighting is important to me right now.  I find I look bad with too much shadowing from my facial features when I'm under bright overhead light.  Female ideals aside I find I always look best with softer frontal lighting.  Thankfully this makes me look best in the mirror, but I hate how I look at work.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2012, 11:04:21 PM
I started hormones a couple months before my 29th birthday. There was no way on this earth I would've ever passed before HRT. I'm now 10 months on HRT and I decided to transition 2 months ago because the hormones changed my appearance so much, that I had to convince people I was male if I was presenting as a male. My appearance continues to change rapidly. So I would have to say that it is entirely possible for hormones to have a strong effect while you are in your 30s.

I think it has more to do with your bodies susceptibility to estrogen, along with the amount of damage that testosterone has done to your body, especially during puberty. I had a very mild puberty (low sex drive, little bone changes in the face, little growth in hands and height etc), and I think that's why HRT has been very effective for me.

I'm glad to hear that, also it seems to be going about the same for me as it has for you, so I'm really happy and excited to see just how feminine I will get.  I started at 33 and I'm seeing major change in just 6 weeks so far.  I'm loving it!

I'm currently 27, so getting close to the age group. I could easily see this whole proces going south and getting pushed off till later when it resurfaces. All the advice I've ever gotten on this subject has been more or less the same: don't walk away from this. But I think that maybe often that age seems "too late" but by 40 if you have children they will usually be grown or mostly grown, making it slightly easier to break the news and begin a transition?

Quote from: CrisatSbux on July 13, 2012, 07:05:37 PM
I'm currently 27, so getting close to the age group. I could easily see this whole proces going south and getting pushed off till later when it resurfaces. All the advice I've ever gotten on this subject has been more or less the same: don't walk away from this. But I think that maybe often that age seems "too late" but by 40 if you have children they will usually be grown or mostly grown, making it slightly easier to break the news and begin a transition?

I'm 41 and just getting started (I have my first therapist appointment in about 10 days).  My child was a consideration in me waiting this long - it wasn't the only one; but I did want to wait until she was older - now that she's graduated from high school that was one more thing off the "list" I had to not pursue it.  I wish I would've started earlier, but as somebody pointed out earlier in the thread it's never too late unless you're dead. :)

Madison 

I'm 37- hopefully starting HRT and lazer soon :)

Hello all, I haven't posted yet on this site so here is a bit about me.  I just turned 30 this month and I started HRT in April of this year at 29 years old.  After about 6 months of therapy to get my letter, day I got the letter got the HRT same day :), couldn't wait any longer had been seeing my endo already.  It felt like the longest 6 months ever, during this time my marriage has basically ended and I recently found out my wife is pregnant.  I should of left the relationship months back but I was trying to change my wife's mind on staying with me. I have been taking HRT behind my wife's back for about 3 months, which is no good and I feel horrible about it, and I don't think I can hide the effects of my HRT much longer and have to end the relationship before it breaks our friendship as well.  I guess I wanted to make sure what I wanted and to see how I felt on HRT first... I don't know, it is prolly just not wanting to leave a comfortable relationship and regret things in the future.

When I first started on HRT I didn't notice much of anything, I was on a very low trial dose of estradial by itself for about 45 days before the dose was doubled.  Since my dose been doubled for over a month or so I noticed breast buds forming, side hip fat growing, reduce in acne forming, my mind seems like its in a higher place like floating and I enjoy being more social (which I am extremely introverted and shy), and I get a lot more emotional and can cry which I seemed unable to in the past. I also have lost quite some weight from being 5'10 and 166 at start of HRT to 152 in such of short time from just not eating much of anything, my appetite has been reduced hugely, I have like day long morning sickness.  I try to cut a lot of stuff out of my lifestyle like drinking excessively and caffeine, but I still smoke a lot of weed which I hate how it makes me feel but I am addicted to the smoking aspect and smoking with friends social part.  I started seeing a new endo that seems more knowledgeable and is going to add in spiro to the dose mix which my old endo only wanted to give me pure estrogen for my transition. I have been happy with my results so far, I figure if I started with a regular E dose with spiro to start would be better results by now.

When I leave my wife I will be staying with my mother till I finish with going back to school for nursing while I still work on my current job, in banking, in male mode. I want a job with good job demand so I can find work easily being transsexual if that issue comes up.  I would want to stay open in my transition to my friends/family and stealth in the job world/society. 

I wanted to be viewed as a women since I was young, but I was very sheltered and didn't know why I felt why I did.  I been depressed for most of my life, feeling awkward in my own body and viewed as gay very often. I always wanted to grow breasts when I was a teen and always wished I was born a women. Since I been growing up in male mode and pushed into male activities/roles I never enjoyed doing anything male related, I was always mad when people said your a man you gotta do it that way.  I didn't know what was wrong with me, I thought I had some severe depression or anxiety.  I didn't know transition was possible, I never really looked into anything besides just playing video games with every free moment I had, I would always play a female avatar even when I was soo young.  I would wear my sisters clothes to school cuss they felt more comfortable than my clothes, just like a neutral sweater. I would also at my earliest memories try on my mothers jewelry and shoes and play with girl toys at times, but feelings of embarrassment would force me to live in male mode which I felt not at peace with myself.

I'm at that point where I have to take a change in life, I am not happy as I am, and I am willing to lose everything to find happiness and to find myself.

Hi Ashley,

Seems like you've found yourself at long last.

Quote from: Ashley30 on July 23, 2012, 09:23:32 PM
but I still smoke a lot of weed which I hate how it makes me feel but I am addicted to the smoking aspect and smoking with friends social part. 

As no doubt this is all pretty new to you, you do need to break the social cycle related to the smoking, so you stand a chance of stopping it. Any form of smoking and HRT has a high risk potential for serious health issues. Your Endo should have warned you of that before doubling your dosage.

As you appear to be pleased with your progress to date and foresee a bright future in your new role, you would be devastated if something of a health issue marred your progress. Give this serious consideration for your own wellbeing.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

I'm 31 next month and only started HRT in December (I'm off it for two months to see if I can bank anything to make little Hannah's later)
It's never too late to be who you really are, but I notice there are significantly fewer people currently in their 30's transitioning compared to other age groups
Getting my midlife crisis 20 years early due to family problems was good for something I guess

I started HRT 1.5 yrs ago. I was 32 yrs old.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-97.jpg&hash=058401938fbbdf17d333429589d0211bb8c974a3)

I wish I had started sooner when I was built a little smaller, but that is just wishful thinking. I would have missed out on so much if I had done it before marriage and to be honest, I would not trade my life with my children for anything else in the universe. Anyone that thinks that transition after 30 is pointless and that you will never pass, I say you are wrong! Way wrong!  If I can pass as a woman then you can too! :D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-100.jpg&hash=0f528f521dc02e94b469cee4200f6b16ebf2e797)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F008797.jpg&hash=0526241d96160d3bbac532308fb17a11bc774ea1)

Welcome Ashley!!

Alls I can say is it's a long crazy fun adventure! Hold faith and we're here to help, tho I'm not around often I do have my personal journey a post down if you want a general idea of a step by step journey from day 1 to two years that I have tried to include everything I have experienced.

Oh and I turn 30 in 4 months so not quite here but was close enough imo!

29 and really wanting to start, but my face keeps discouraging me and eating my self-steem.

Do you think I have any hopes? (really ugly photos)

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-C0_kj1zS95U/UAlkp3y5IQI/AAAAAAAABIA/ffYt1Xv7zsE/s640/_MG_3650.jpg (https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-C0_kj1zS95U/UAlkp3y5IQI/AAAAAAAABIA/ffYt1Xv7zsE/s640/_MG_3650.jpg)

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-1gPYEUE571s/UBI9wE6weRI/AAAAAAAABJo/4zfaW0x9R_o/s669-c-k/2012%2B09%253A05%253A33.jpg (https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-1gPYEUE571s/UBI9wE6weRI/AAAAAAAABJo/4zfaW0x9R_o/s669-c-k/2012%2B09%253A05%253A33.jpg)

http://i.imgur.com/9shjA.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/9shjA.jpg)

http://i.imgur.com/kLWzx.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/kLWzx.jpg)

http://i.imgur.com/VG3xm.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/VG3xm.jpg)

EVERYONE has hope. 'mones are pretty magical. The right hair, clothes, and makeup go so much further than you can possibly believe right now. If they don't, who cares? And if you do, there's FFS. Don't let how you look 'now' stop you from being you.

Quote from: Apples
29 and really wanting to start, but my face keeps discouraging me and eating my self-steem.

Do you think I have any hopes? (really ugly photos)

I think you'll do fine. you have the body, slender narrow hips/ shoulders and you dont have a big brow ridge or very angular chin. I think you'll look great

Quote from: Apples on July 31, 2012, 03:58:47 AM
29 and really wanting to start, but my face keeps discouraging me and eating my self-steem.

Do you think I have any hopes? (really ugly photos)

OMG Apples.  The way you've been talking about yourself, I thought you looked like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faftm.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F05%2Fgeico_caveman.jpg%3Fw%3D655&hash=0ff7a4edef6f8265359a3720cb3653bd9dad5974)

You don't.  Stop putting yourself down.

You have more than "hopes."

Looks like a good start to me..

Heck, I waited until I was 34 to start.. And I think I'm doing OK so far..

My biggest complaint is that my combination of deep eyes, low brows and prominent brow always cause me a gigantic shadow on my eyes as can be seeno n the first photograph when the light is over me. I don't know if by trimming the brows on the lower part or covering the dark places with corrector I could fix it a bit. I will need some help with make up. If I could increase the distance between eyes and brows...




As for the bead, I don't want to start with it until my dysphoria is confirmed. I've been holding on shaving since tomorrow I need to see the therapist and I bleed easily on consecutive shavings.

Only YOU can confirm your dysphoria: don't wait for some psychologist or therapist to tell you how you feel.

Honestly, I'm thinking about printing everything I've been saying here and using it as guideline. Expressing it on the internet is fairly easy, but talking about it is more difficult. The biggest issue is that depending on the moment and mood I may go back to the "make me straight" mode. Still fluctuating about if this is the right thing to do. I tend to be discouraged very easily when I find a difficulty.

Apples,

I think you will be a lot better than you think. Take a look at other people's before and after pictures: you will be amazed!!!!

You do have what it takes, trust me! :-)

Go for it and good luck!
Andrea

Quote from: Apples on August 01, 2012, 09:59:39 AM
Honestly, I'm thinking about printing everything I've been saying here and using it as guideline. Expressing it on the internet is fairly easy, but talking about it is more difficult. The biggest issue is that depending on the moment and mood I may go back to the "make me straight" mode. Still fluctuating about if this is the right thing to do. I tend to be discouraged very easily when I find a difficulty.

Seriously do that. I wrote down a lot of my thoughts before I went to my therapy sessions. Writing things down helps me clarify my thinking, even though I do this as a profession!


Don't go in there looking to be fixed: go in looking to just talk things through.

What I don't like a lot is that they also want me to see a psychiatrist. I hope they don't try to shove me some sort of "be straight" pill.


Anyways, currently in freak out mode, as every night.

Quote from: Apples on August 01, 2012, 12:42:26 PM
What I don't like a lot is that they also want me to see a psychiatrist. I hope they don't try to shove me some sort of "be straight" pill.


Anyways, currently in freak out mode, as every night.

My therapist IS a psychiatrist.. And he's never suggest that I'm anything other than trans. And he cerainly didn't recommend 'some sort of "be straight" pill'.. There's no such thing. As someone who only deals with gender issues, he has never tried to push me in any direction - other than the one I wanted to go in..

Thanks,  I hope it is like this. Since it also means talking about a lot of bad memories, my mood can change completely. This morning I was quite happy, but now it's back to down mode. Ever since she removed the lid of my memory, I keep switching moods depending on what I remember. I wrote a bit on the therapy board about the last one and my thoughts on today's second one.

Any competent psych will simply help you ask yourself the right questions and suggest places within yourself you might look for answers.  We are the ones who basically diagnose ourselves, as GID is so subjective and varies so much in how it manifests itself in our lives.

If they try to force you to do anything they are no good.  And there is no way to undo GID.

Karen.

I wonder how long it will take. I lost hair quickly, so If this does not start on a few months, I could have a complete male pattern baldness for the moment I can start. If they tell my it will be two years, I don't know what I will do...


I'm starting with the basics in the meantime, but the clothing is going to pose a real problem. Since I live with my parents, unless I tell them that I am a crossdresser (and bi), I have no way of using the common washing machine without exposing myself, less drying clothes, so I'm kinda stuck. My mother will never accept this (she has NEVER accepted anything, not even the common truth).

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 02, 2012, 07:35:55 AM
And there is no way to undo GID.

Karen.

Well...not *entirely* true, but I get what you're saying. There's no "magic cure" for everyone, as what it takes to deal with one's GID differs markedly for each individual. For me, it goes away with transitioning. And it's not gone yet, but it's definitely a hell of a lot better than it was. :)

Quote from: Apples on August 02, 2012, 07:48:28 AM
I wonder how long it will take. I lost hair quickly, so If this does not start on a few months, I could have a complete male pattern baldness for the moment I can start. If they tell my it will be two years, I don't know what I will do...

Try Saw palmetto[/size] . Its recommended for men taking T to limit baldness/ prostrate issues. there are also drugs that help by script.

Quote from: Apples on August 02, 2012, 07:48:28 AM
I wonder how long it will take. I lost hair quickly, so If this does not start on a few months, I could have a complete male pattern baldness for the moment I can start. If they tell my it will be two years, I don't know what I will do...


I'm starting with the basics in the meantime, but the clothing is going to pose a real problem. Since I live with my parents, unless I tell them that I am a crossdresser (and bi), I have no way of using the common washing machine without exposing myself, less drying clothes, so I'm kinda stuck. My mother will never accept this (she has NEVER accepted anything, not even the common truth).

You can start off by dressing androgenously, and adding some bright colors to your wardrobe.

You should see my rainbow socks and unicorn t-shirts... Too bad I can't use them at work.

Quote from: joann on August 02, 2012, 09:10:47 AM

Try Saw palmetto . Its recommended for men taking T to limit baldness/ prostrate issues. there are also drugs that help by script.

Where can I buy it online? I will try to ask my doctor if he can recommend me something, but I'm not so sure.

The doc can perscribe Finasteride if applicable and saw palmetto can be found in the vitamin area of most stores.Costs about $8/60pills.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Management_of_baldness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Management_of_baldness)

Still thinking this is too late for me and that I am already past my prime. I'm afraid I will only end hating myself more and more after this. HRT possibli will do little for me and I'm also afraid of having so many surgeries...

The more info I try to find info about transitioning after 30, the more I think this is a big error. My hearts want to do it, but my brain tells me that this is going to be an error, and that what I really want is not possible to attain. At this times (every night I enter into anxiety mode) I really hope they will tell me that it is only some sort of crazy fetish and I it is not real.

Tomorrow I will be requesting to be sent to the GID, even If I am rejected. I need my mind to be sorted.

30 is young.  I turn 59 this year and feel like I am in my 30's if not younger.  It really is all in the mind.  You are you enough to really get get good results, and have lots of years ahead of you as the woman you deserve to be.  We do deserve it too, considering the stuff we have all had to put up with to get here.
Take small steps and don't be too hard on yourself if something doesn't turn out how you would like.
Life is all trial and error anyway.  I ask myself, "Not perfect, but is it sufficient?" a lot nowadays on all sorts of subjects.

Karen.

well this thread is as good as any to post my first post i guess.
It was comforting to read all of your stories on here about transitioning in your 30's
i have been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 months now and am on the home stretch.
I don't know what i want from any of this but i do know that my body isn't right for my mind and i sure hope that HRT will help me to be more comfortable with who i am as a person.
There are soo many things to still sort through but the conclusion is that it is my life to make the decisions over. I aam just afraid of those i will potentially hurt on my own journey of self discovery.
32 for now hoping to start in the next month or so.
thanks everyone for making this world seem a little bit smaller and warmer.
'i am strong enough to be myself' i keep saying and my dreams will come true.
D

So glad to see this thread still alive after all this time!  :-*

at 36 and just over 2 months of hrt it's still getting better and better :)

I'm 37, on HRT for 6 weeks and already SO much happier!

Well next week I turn 31 and I'm four months in on HRT and I can say finally I'm having peace of mind/body.  Still things never seem to move as quickly as you like but the changes so far have been welcomed.

I'm 38 (age) and been on HRT for 6 months. No surgeries yet.. Its never to late. but you will know when your ready. It took me 10 years of waiting and exploring. Now I'm sure of this 100% there are no other options. I just wish I started 10 years ago when I was 28... Good luck

Quote from: Forum Admin on November 01, 2010, 11:48:08 AM
. It may not be as common as the early or late peeps though. Wonder why that is.

An unsuspecting wife and  (very) young children....a successful career, being completely settled as a 'straight' guy....for instance...

Quote from: Dahlia on September 03, 2012, 05:11:06 PM
An unsuspecting wife and  (very) young children....a successful career, being completely settled as a 'straight' guy....for instance...

I think this USED to be the case (at least I've heard from older trans girls) where white transitioners would typically be older and minority transitioners would be younger. Also, the white transitioners lived "straight" lives (or were lesbians) and minority transitioners were almost always "Gay" (interested in men so "hetero").

I think no one really does talk about the reluctance of white males who lead seemingly "straight" lives to transition. It's as if they don't want to acknowledge that their race and oppurtunites DO get them ahead.

Quote from: SilentOwls on September 03, 2012, 05:30:15 PM
I think no one really does talk about the reluctance of white males who lead seemingly "straight" lives to transition. It's as if they don't want to acknowledge that their race and oppurtunites DO get them ahead.

My reluctance to transition had to with the fact that I didn't want to lose my marriage/wife. It had nothing to do with my skin color, etc. It had to do with losing a soulmate.

Quote from: Connie Anne on September 03, 2012, 05:33:40 PM
My reluctance to transition had to with the fact that I didn't want to lose my marriage/wife. It had nothing to do with my skin color, etc. It had to do with losing a soulmate.

I didn't say you specifically, I said in general. However, you can at least acknowledge how your skin color and seemingly straight relationship would place you higher on the "pecking order" than an effeminate gay black male?

The generality is a blanket statement, which often seem to miss the mark.

Any seemingly straight person will be higher in some "pecking orders" than any one who seems to be trans or not straight. But, it goes the other way, too. There are pecking orders in which one loses status for seeming to be not queer enough.

If others choose to treat me differently because of how they perceive me, the these others are the ones in the wrong, not I.

Quote from: Connie Anne on September 03, 2012, 05:40:53 PM
The generality is a blanket statement, which often seem to miss the mark.

Any seemingly straight person will be higher in some "pecking orders" than any one who seems to be trans or not straight. But, it goes the other way, too. There are pecking orders in which one loses status for seeming to be not queer enough.

If others choose to treat me differently because of how they perceive me, the these others are the ones in the wrong, not I.

Of course not, but you DO (or at least DID) take advantage of those "bonuses" you got, right?

These "queer' pecking orders are meaningless. Those in the positions of power and their prejudices determine how the rungs are arranged.

And of course, we know straight white males (and to an extent, cis white females) are in the positions of power so that their prejudices can negatively impact the rest of us.

Any person who is part of the minority can be prejudiced, but it takes prejudice +power to have racism and so that those beliefs actually impact society.

In the early '90's, I was turned down for jobs given the reason, "We only hire women for those jobs." In that time when my wife and I needed and applied for public assistance, we were denied based on our race.

In the early 2000's, I found that I did not qualify for grants or scholarships because I was a white male. If I had been not white, I would have qualified. If I had been a white female, I would have qualified. If I had been a non-white female, I really would have qualified.

There are multiple pecking orders, and it seems that white folk in general are blamed for what white folk in power have done. Mine was a low-income family for about the first 12 years of our marriage. That's with both spouses working full time and with lofty job titles (senior computer technician, lactation educator). If there are so many bonuses I've been given, how can this be? How can it be that I'm 43 with nearly no saving because I've been working to support my family. Where are these alleged bonuses? It takes more than a penis and white skin to get them, I can assure you.

Quote from: SilentOwls on September 03, 2012, 05:30:15 PM
I think this USED to be the case (at least I've heard from older trans girls) where white transitioners would typically be older and minority transitioners would be younger. Also, the white transitioners lived "straight" lives (or were lesbians) and minority transitioners were almost always "Gay" (interested in men so "hetero").

I think no one really does talk about the reluctance of white males who lead seemingly "straight" lives to transition. It's as if they don't want to acknowledge that their race and oppurtunites DO get them ahead.

I've written several times the same opinion...it's almost like being MTF is a privileged, straight, white men's thing.

Quote from: Connie Anne on September 03, 2012, 06:01:06 PM
. Where are these alleged bonuses? It takes more than a penis and white skin to get them, I can assure you.

Being perceived by society in general as a straight, white passable guy is a bonus in itself. You'll have your oppurtunities and chances just up for grabs.

Being perceived as a feminine, gay person from early childhood on will make society scold on you and ruin your chances and oppurtunities.

I'll confirm "white privilege" is a reason...

I'm 37, started seeing a therapist this past March.  I probably won't transition until I'm well into my 40's.  I came out to my wife at 27 and was harder on myself than she was, though at the time a full transition would have been emotionally difficult for her.  Otherwise she has been great about it and I am sort of out at home to my young kids.

So, reasons I'm waiting? Money, not the lack of it, but the presence of it. I am the only income earner and I make really good money.  We plan to have a very modest retirement sooner rather than later, but the fact is, my status as a tall, straight, white guy with a wife and kids who seemingly conforms to expectations has been fantastic financially and makes the decision to transition a little complicated.  I have no complaints, we all have hard choices, this just happens to be mine.

Hi everyone, looks like I'm in this boat too.
I'm 32, came out last week to my wife and some close friends after believing for, I don't know how long, that it was already to late to transition.
I'm looking for a therapist right now so I can get onto hormones (hopefully as soon as possible). 
Right now I'm in a really weird place between huge relief that I'm being honest with myself and the people I love, and terrible anxiety because I can't do everything I want to do to transition right now.
Trying to stay focused on my regular day to day life is really hard right now, but I guess I have to just keep breathing and do what I can do now and be patient.
The financial aspects of transition are daunting to say the least!
It was really nice to find this thread though, reading all of your posts has helped make me feel much more sure of my decision.
Thank you all for that!

I made a false start at ages 27-28 -- nine months HRT plus gender therapy -- but then abandoned it.  Later, began the transition for real:  at age 34, began HRT; at age 36, began living full-time as a woman (kept the same job throughout the transition); just before turning 38, had SRS.

Was it easy?  No.  Was it expensive?  Yes.  Was it scary as hell?  Absolutely.  Was it exhilarating?  Yes.  Did everyone automatically accept me?  Some did, many did not; my family mostly abandoned me.  The woman I loved was very supportive and encouraging for three years, then abandoned me.  Am I now glad I did it?  YES.

One really painful emotional memory from the transition:  at my job, they celebrated birthdays by having a party in the company's lunchroom.  After having worked there one year as a man followed by 11 months as a woman in transition, they had a party for my birthday, and sitting around my table in the lunchroom were several women re-living memories of when they were young girls -- and I was embarrassingly silent, as I had no "young girl" memories to contribute....  it was awkward, weird, and very painful.  Experiences like that made me feel "different," "other," and disconnected from people.  Am I still happy I made the transition?  You bet!

For the most part, I had no problems with the HRT.  However, one really bad effect was that I began having periodic bouts of Iritis (inflammation of the iris of the eye) and that continued for a decade.  We now know that the estrogen caused it, because when I stopped the HRT at age 48, the Iritis problems also stopped.

Now, at age 64, I'm about to resume HRT and am a bit nervous about side effects -- but am happy about my decision.

I think that age has almost nothing to do with any of this.  What matters is who we are, how we feel, what we want, whether we're mature enough to deal with the very real problems that arise, whether we can afford it financially and emotionally, and having positive reinforcement from a wise therapist.  Friends help too -- I went through it largely alone, which I advise against....

Quote from: Ave on September 03, 2012, 05:46:19 PM
Any person who is part of the minority can be prejudiced, but it takes prejudice +power to have racism and so that those beliefs actually impact society.

prejudice plus power equils racist im not sure i follow that line of thinking ive have know racists who had no power to speak of but it didnt make them any less a racist

Another trans-girl ready to transition to the real her whilst approaching her thirties. I'm 27 now, going full time starting next year. >:-)

I'm lucky I live in Belgium. SRS here costs like 600 bucks.

P.S.: Do you guys think I'll be pretty once I'm transitioned? I'm also on a diet now,
even though I wouldn't call it that. I just don't eat much, don't have the appetite.
Willing to bring my weight to 70 (or even 65) kilos. Right now it's easy for me to not eat,
dunno why. Must be my self-realization.

EDIT(better pics):
How I look now:

This one's a bit blurry, since the lens doesn't have auto-focus, so it's hard to focus without

looking into the eye of the camera.

http://s14.postimage.org/ezt3akkps/IMG_1696a.jpg (http://s14.postimage.org/ezt3akkps/IMG_1696a.jpg)



Pics with less blur.

http://s15.postimage.org/ff7zqz12i/IMG_1678a.jpg (http://s15.postimage.org/ff7zqz12i/IMG_1678a.jpg)

http://s16.postimage.org/tddoneles/IMG_1695a.jpg (http://s16.postimage.org/tddoneles/IMG_1695a.jpg)

http://s11.postimage.org/e8klvnz02/IMG_1676a.jpg (http://s11.postimage.org/e8klvnz02/IMG_1676a.jpg)

Notice my lips. They've been damaged
in an accident when I was a kid. I think they're kinda cute when I'm thin though.

Hi,
I'm new in here, first post ;)
I'm 27 (closer to 28 than 26) I don't know at all if I should really start some HRT..
I guess first I should contact a support group and/or therapist.. (Actually I don't feel ready for sure, but also confused overall if I want that)

I would like to know for you that started arround my age or even older;
Did you always non stop were thinking about Transitioning, or it was more something coming and going.?
Where you convinced at some point that it was a foolish Idea that you had, and that being a men is what you are? And then maybe a month or 2 after, the questionning comes back !

I ask this because, sometimes I won't think at all about it and I feel great as I am. ( and also handsome as a guy)
But then every once in a while, I really ask myself the question about my Gender identity. Then I spend hours looking on the web for information, reading forums, articles, etc.. Or also dreaming of how nice it would be to be a women.
..


How was it for you ?

;)
xx

Alyx, I think you'll transition really well. Especially at your age.

Inazuma. I think a lot of people have doubts, I certainly have had them and still do. Transitioning is a really big thing, and it has a huge impact on our own lives and the lives of those we love. Ultimately you are the one that has to sort of weigh it all out and determine if this is something you need or want to do. For me I decided it was something that I had to do or I would be miserable my whole life. In my case, I am much happier for it.

Yea I bounced back and forth with the whole transitioning or not to transition. Mostly out of fear of the unknown. Fearing of loosing my job. What my family would think. My wife at the time. Fearing that I was broke inside that I was a bad person. tell a kid that over and over they eventually believe it :( Kept bottling up everything until that unfortunate day that happened a little over two and a half years ago.  After that i decided I needed to transition so I found a therapist. started HRT about 5 months later. I was 32 at that time.

Transitioning isn't easy and shouldn't be taken lightly. It is hard work for everyone involved with you. I learned who my real friends were and who were not. my dad doesn't really talk to me anymore but he at leasts acknowledged me. my step mom is a big supporter :) my sister was like I wondered when you were going to transition. My brother oh well his lost. ex-wife not a fan but undetstands. the girls at work at cool about my transitioning so are most of the guys. of course there were a folks that don't agree with it.

But despite the bad that goes with transitioning, I am much happier person. I am who I was suppose to be from the get go. As for results, security denied me access to work because I don't look like my work picture or sound like a guy anymore.

only you can make the decision to transition. Talk to therapist that specializes in gender identity.

hope this is somewhat of answer you were looking for.

Quote from: Inazuma on October 28, 2012, 06:15:03 PM
I would like to know for you that started arround my age or even older;
Did you always non stop were thinking about Transitioning, or it was more something coming and going.?
Where you convinced at some point that it was a foolish Idea that you had, and that being a men is what you are? And then maybe a month or 2 after, the questionning comes back !

I ask this because, sometimes I won't think at all about it and I feel great as I am. ( and also handsome as a guy)
But then every once in a while, I really ask myself the question about my Gender identity. Then I spend hours looking on the web for information, reading forums, articles, etc.. Or also dreaming of how nice it would be to be a women.

How was it for you ?

I started therapy when I was 27, HRT when I was 28 (nearly 29), and I transitioned a few months ago. Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.

Being trans was always in the back of my head. It felt like the biggest skeleton in my closet that I hoped nobody found out about, and it was ALWAYS with me with every conversation I have ever had with anybody. It was stronger at some points in my life, mostly when I was lonely. There was never really a question for me that I was what I was, it was just a matter of if I could keep it hidden and out of my life forever. There were points in my life that I was closer to transition than in other points but I chickened out, though.

I didn't know if I'd ever become a passable woman. I made a pretty cute guy myself. I had a feeling that it was possible though. But before I got on HRT and up until I started seeing some strong results, I was at the point of saying "If it doesn't look like I'm going to pass, there's no point in living" ... if you get my drift.

Now people think I make a better looking girl than a guy! The transition went way, way smoother than I could ever have hoped. I truly believe that if something is meant to happen, it will as long as you put your foot forward to make it happen.

But there was never any doubt in my heart that I'm a girl. Ever.

I'm late 50's, going great and very happy. Did I take advantage of appearing to be a white male?

I live in Australia, the only advantages you get are the ones you work for.

I've worked my tush off and will continue to do so. Funnily I've found the harder I work, the harder I try, the more I take care of people and more I can give to people less fortunate than I. The luckier I get.

Acceptance and happiness? When you look in the mirror and see your eyes and there is no hate and no privilege, just you.


Let us be very careful about saying any group being fortunate or less fortunate. We are people and we have to take care of each other, because in many cases that is all we have to give to someone else. And if we cannot give. We cannot receive.

We do not want to break Susan's ToS.

Cindy James

Global Moderator.

coming up on 33 now :o
been on hormones less than a year but seems they are working a bit..better than I thought really. I also dieted down from 14stone to 10.. that helped a lot. Had 3 laser sessions so far..
Overall im on target for my going FT in a year.
Its never too late. :angel:

In the near future I will be 30. I will be going full time a couple of weeks after. Soon I will see exactly how much "male privilege" I have.

I lost my privilege pretty quickly. Within a few months, even for people who've known me professionally for a long time, it was gone. I started being spoken over, ignored, discounted, etc. On a small plus side, males will wait a lot longer holding the door open for me.

I began my journey in July 2003 at the age of 35.  (HRT/therapy/laser)   I changed my name/ID/SSA and began living/working as a woman full time three months later in October 2003, and came out to my family in December 2003 after 1.5 months living FT.  I've since spent the last 9 years living a very happy and productive life, and nobody around me (besides my spouse) has any clue about my past.  I can live with that. 

Follow your heart and find happiness, and you'll live a much happier life.  30 something is NOT too late!

Angie

Quote from: M@D3LYN on October 29, 2012, 12:40:11 AM
Alyx, I think you'll transition really well. Especially at your age.

Inazuma. I think a lot of people have doubts, I certainly have had them and still do. Transitioning is a really big thing, and it has a huge impact on our own lives and the lives of those we love. Ultimately you are the one that has to sort of weigh it all out and determine if this is something you need or want to do. For me I decided it was something that I had to do or I would be miserable my whole life. In my case, I am much happier for it.

Yeah, I have the same thing. I know that unless I transition I'm always gonna be miserable.
I know that because for most of my life I was exactly that or detached, which is even worse,
because it gives one false comfort. It's not life either way.

How do I know I have to transition to be happy? I'm kinda happy now,
never been more alive than now. It all started on the day I found my true self.
Imagine how happy I will be once I'm transitioned.

I waited til I was 40 and look how horrible I turned out.   Still happy though.

Quote from: Jaime on November 06, 2012, 11:11:02 AM
I waited til I was 40 and look how horrible I turned out.   Still happy though.

It is not nice to lie about your appearance on this forum. You should be honest  :)

Quote from: Brooke777 on November 06, 2012, 11:12:37 AM
It is not nice to lie about your appearance on this forum. You should be honest  :)

Who's lying?  The picture came with the profile.

There was a weird reading comprehension edit:

Anyone who doesn't believe in male privilege should take a crash course in feminism and intersectionality.

Class statements are not "blanket statements." Priveledge is determined by class, not individuals. For example, saying "America most powerful man is black so blacks are not underprivileged" is silly. It's easy to see how as a class who had privilege or who does not.

Social programs for classes and affirmative action is designed to wipe out priveledge. Fearing that someone else ultimately having the same power as you will decrease your power is a privileged thought.

You must accept views of priveledge as a class. Looking at individuals to wipe out the struggle of the class is how people get to be bigots.

Transwomen lose priveledge as female class and also by being GLBT (CIS priveledge)

Losing white male privelege is absolutely a hard thing for transwomen to accept. The attributes of a lifetime of privelege are still there (talking more, having your opinion count, violence, safety )

Most late transitioners do so late because of a societal expectation of what life should be and how to act. Male is good, female is bad. This is what causes privelege.

If you do not acknowledge your privilege and transition with sexist beliefs, your used as fodder for anti-trans groups.

Quote from: Jaime on November 06, 2012, 11:11:02 AM
I waited til I was 40 and look how horrible I turned out.   Still happy though.

Pshaw

Quote from: Jamie D on November 06, 2012, 03:06:26 PM
Pshaw

See! I am not the only one who thinks you are full of it  ;D

Im 36 started this journey when i was 34. I've been on hormones for almost 2 years had FFS about 10 months ago will be having BA hopefully before X-mass and SRS sometime next year. I'm 5'11 3/4" : P 165 LBS and as far as I can tell I pass everywhere I go.

I have also noticed the lack of 30 something transitioners....Hmm?

My wife, who does not post here, started estrogen at 32 and is a 42DDD at 35 (actually, she'd hit 42C by six months); she hasn't been misgendered since the first 4-6 months of HRT. The last time someone met us both and knew ONE of the couple was a trans woman, they guessed it was me. To be honest, among all the trans women I've met who did begin transition after 30, only one was having problems with being misgendered by the end of the first year.

I started self medicating at 32 and having electrolysis before going full time just before my 34th birthday.. I wish I'd done it sooner.The results were better than I expected I'm 55 now

I'm 38 years old and am 19 months on HRT. My body has changed a bit, got nice set of breasts (still only fill out a B cup though getting a little squished in the cups). skin is nice, I've also been having IPL hair removal for 6 months now and about to start electrolysis. I have not noticed much change to the shape of my face. I have the usual body hair loss, hips widened a little but not enough for anyone to notice (actually they did and was getting comments last year about it but I soon put on weight and lost my figure). I do have one or two cigarettes a weekend (weekend warrior) and I know I should quit for good. I was using oestrogen patches a few years prior for a year (dubiously sourced) but it didn't make much difference at the time and I didn't touch anything after that as thought I would go the route of psychiatry and getting recommended for legal prescriptions for something that works. I eventually built up the courage and after seeing a psychologist for a year I started seeing a psychiatrist who referred me to a endocrinologist just over a month later. Was easier than I thought and wish I did it earlier. I'm still not full time, I don't pass due to facial features, I am considering FFS as a next goal but I have no way of affording any such surgery at the moment. But i wanted to see what the effects of the hormones had on my face after two years of HRT anyway before considering any surgery. That's still another 6 months away. I have to be a little more patient in my late 30's before chopping up my face. So i tell myself anyway.

I'm 28, so I feel closer to the testimonials of this thread than to the early transitioners. The public health system here in Catalunya covers the whole sex change process, and I'm now waiting for a first visit to the psychologist to be scheduled. I think you have to wait between 1.5 and 2 years for the srs, but I'm just hoping that the HRT starts asap.

It's VERY encouraging to hear the success stories of all you girls. I don't know if the same happens to anyone, but I personally feel very comforted when so many of the things I read make me go "f**k, this person thinks like me!".

I hope that soon my story can also be the tale of a steady but satisfactory transition :-)

Quote from: Melody Maia on February 11, 2011, 04:20:17 PM
Woe is me, as of yesterday I must tender my resignation to this thread. Can anyone point me to the "Transitioning in your 40's" thread? lol.

How do you feel about the waiting period for HRT?  (

I'm 30 and just started HRT and my facial skin is already feeling a lot more soft. I'm pretty in touch with my body so I know it's not my imagination. Other then that, nothing. Feel the same. Of course, it's only been a week lol

Thought I'd check back into this thread to offer encouragement to other people just getting started in their thirties.
I started Hormones November 30th 2012, I just had my 1st/33rd birthday last week and as you can see from my avatar the hormones are working pretty darn well :)
Thirties is definitely not to late to see excellent results!

I'm nearly 30!  I'm currently 29 and I've been on HRT for 4 weeks.  I turn 30 in September. I've already noticed my skin softening and getting smoother and slight changes in my nipples.  I'm hoping I'll start to notice some big changes by my 30th (which will be about 7 months on HRT)! This thread gives me a bunch of hope!  So many lovelies here!!!!

I'll be 35 at the end of the month, been on meaningful amount level of HRT for just over a month.  The girls are responding well, the right more-so than the left though.  My skin too has gotten really soft and DRY!  Fat still collects on my gut though and my tush could use being a little fuller.  It'll be interesting to see what my endo does to my meds next month.  And the results of my blood work tomorrow.  Oh, body hair hasn't changed either, save for maybe growing a little slower.  Then again, I've been on a good HRT dose a month (low dose before that).

I do get ma'mmed and missed when I'm out, though not all the time.  I even got asked at my writing group, "Did you used to come here?  You look like another tall blond woman who came here years ago." So that was pretty cool!

So far, my transition has been successful enough to let me enjoy it.

Thank you for giving me some hope.  Im about to be 29 and I have been worried about the amount of change that I would see being so old.  Its nice to see other women my age looking great.

Age 30 and 6months hrt here.   everything has been wonderful body reacting well to hrt.   ;-)

Quote from: nazario on March 25, 2013, 12:35:04 AM
Thank you for giving me some hope.  Im about to be 29 and I have been worried about the amount of change that I would see being so old.  Its nice to see other women my age looking great.

I am also 29 and a week or two short of 4 months on HRT. We are actually quite young, so you should consider yourself lucky :D As others have said, it's never too late. And actually after seeing some of the older transitioners here, the older you are the easier it is to pass with flying colors. Maybe it's a more developed state of mind, or maybe something else. Take a look around, there seem to be very few older MtF's that don't look incredible and undeniably feminine.

A great part about transitioning when you are a bit older is how much younger it automatically makes you look. The before and afters are astonishing.

Quote from: nazario on March 25, 2013, 12:35:04 AM
Thank you for giving me some hope.  Im about to be 29 and I have been worried about the amount of change that I would see being so old.  Its nice to see other women my age looking great.

Oh dear, I went full time at 59.  LOTS of changes; Hee Hee

Hi There,

wel.. so it hss been almost a year since I last posted on this forum and this tread...
Just a little update, I just recently started therapie.
I still don't know where this is going to lead me..
but for now I see thing one step at the time.

I guess this tread helped me in a way to be more relax, and patient.

thank you all,

Yay! This thread helped me too. :)

Quote from: Inazuma on October 16, 2013, 03:06:35 PM
Hi There,

wel.. so it hss been almost a year since I last posted on this forum and this tread...
Just a little update, I just recently started therapie.
I still don't know where this is going to lead me..
but for now I see thing one step at the time.

I guess this tread helped me in a way to be more relax, and patient.

thank you all,

I just found this thread... I read page 1 and jumped to the end... I'll be reading the rest of it too :D -- I've said all of this elsewhere, but maybe it bears repeating.

I'm 35. I'm just starting!! Hair removal is going on now (had to start that early... my facial hair is thick). I'm also growing out my head hair... and losing weight.

AAs start during Christmas 2013 (Merrrrry Christmas!!)
E starts in approx May/June 2014.
I hope to go full time at work in late 2014 / early 2015, but a lot depends on how quickly the changes come.

I am married with three wonderful children (8, 4, & 2). - That was a big factor for how long I stayed closeted. Eventually it exploded out from various causes. I needed to get healthy (early Diabetes, high BP) and I realized I was eating as a coping mechanism. We were also trying for #4, which was difficult for me (and worse for my wife, when I came out :( ).

I am taking photos of myself and will share........ eventually! ;)

35 here, just started hrt last week lets see how it goes

Quote from: nanofan on October 20, 2013, 08:00:30 PM
35 here, just started hrt last week lets see how it goes

Yay! :icon_dance:

Child of 1976 here... starting hrt on new years!

  ;D

Quote from: Izumi on November 01, 2010, 03:40:42 PM
Transitioned in my 30s, 32 to be exact.

This is a picture of me at 29:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/10.jpg)

This is a picture of me now:  http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg (http://www.hawaiibd.com/AC6.jpg)

HRT 1.9yrs,  Diet and exercise and hair removal  2 yrs+
I did everything i possibly could to get my body into shape for this thing, and to look as good as i could possibly get for over 2years.  If you have questions i would be glad to help.

Hey Izumi,

I've been trying to reach you for a while, but unfortunately there is no link to an email or anything so this is the only way I can think of to try and reach you because I've had questions. As to what kinda of Diet and what kind of exercise program did you go through? Hope I can hear from you.

Quote from: Gadgett on October 21, 2013, 06:57:11 PM
Hey Izumi,

I've been trying to reach you for a while, but unfortunately there is no link to an email or anything so this is the only way I can think of to try and reach you because I've had questions. As to what kinda of Diet and what kind of exercise program did you go through? Hope I can hear from you.

I'm curious too... just to see where my diet stands! ;)

I really wonder what my low weight should be. My current strength training regimen (ah... none) is working at reducing muscle mass well so far... I have to assume AAs will help, but I REALLY need to start (and continue) some work outs.

Ive been dieting my butt off! (literally) 

Started 215, about 6 months later I'm teetering between 160-170.  Now Im shooting for the 150s.

I can help you with dieting! If you are ready...MMUUUUHHHAAHHAHAHAHA! >:-)

No seriously, I'd be happy to help.  ;)

I was at 235... it's 11 weeks later and I was at 197.4 - yeah it's fast. About 3.4 lb / wk, though that has dropped significantly since the first month. It's really about 2.5 lb/wk now and 4.6 lb/wk before. Here's my weight loss chart:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FDWEQhzb.png&hash=391c5f29218295e38e079598bbb829846db140a5)

My diet is cereal (Kashi GoLean) in the morning, chobani snack, Salad lunch, Salad dinner, then sometimes ice cream or whiskey (to reach my 1600 calories goal). Lettuce is bulky - but it's high in potassium - I'm going to need to find low-K lettuce (green leaf and iceberg, I think).

My workout plan needs help.

I am definitely in this club as I just turned 33 a couple months ago and hopefully will be starting hormones about Christmas time. Best Christmas present I can think t give myself.

Just foud out that I have a form of ais but the docs are hesitant to officcially diagnose me yet. They want me on t to sortout a few things, such as my homegrown breasts and my. Mental state. I told mywife I would try it to see if would help any. But its done very little tohelp my mood. My wife says I am more aggressive and its made the dysphoria even stronger. I keep having more sex dreams but its as a woman with guys. And i find myself being repulsed byall things male.

So I will be stopping them and going on the right hormones soon. About the only good thing was that I have more energy but its not worth the depression getting worse and the nasty hate I feel towards my own body getting stronger and stronger with each day.

My wife is ok with it and is very supportive, she is behind me all the way. I am still a bit hesitant as i do feel that I have waited a bit too long. But needs must, i guess. We have 2 girls so it will be a very female friendly house. My wife is a bit of a bloke so this could be interesting.

The only real fear i have is my passability as a woman, but seeing as I have had almost no t in my body my whole life and my body already has a female skeleton, some hips and even b cup size breasts, I am hoping its only in my head. But only time can tell.

I have to say that this thread has also been very encouraging for me to read. Although I initially started transition in my late 20s, after about 6 months of hormones I lost my fulltime job (due to transgender related prejudice) and had sporadic financial resources after that - for a while I took hormones sporadically whenever I had any money left over after rent and food - but eventually I lost my housing situation and my part time job and had to drop them entirely.

I never de-transitioned per say and have remained full time throughout, but most of the effects of hormones have, sadly, dissipated - I still have breasts and my face has stayed rather feminine (aside from my brow ridge and chin, but that was always going to be an issue) and I still have something of a figure. Since then I have avoided trying to get hormones because I didn't want to keep jumping on and off as my finances and employment were still unreliable. I never finished college and had no real job skills and no one was willing to hire me full time, so I finally went back to school. For the first year or two of school I still didn't have the money for hormone treatment or electro (one of the sad side effects of going off hormones is that I suddenly started growing thick coarse hair all over my body and lost a lot of the hair around my temples) but now I finally do, and I am preparing to get back on hormones finally.

For the last couple of years I've been really depressed about the whole situation, convinced I'd missed my chance to ever be a passable, pretty, and youthful woman, and being full-time while chemically stuck somewhere in the middle of transition has made me feel like a perpetual ugly duckling. I gained a lot of weight through eating my feelings, but I've finally shed most of that and gotten back to being slim and trim.

I don't know what's going to happen now. Maybe the hormones will do some magic and with some hard work I can finally be passable, pretty, and youthful - while youth lasts. Or maybe I've missed the boat and hormones will just make me somewhat less unfeminine-looking than I am now. That has been my worry of late, but I persist. All things masculine and male turn my stomach and I have never once considered detransitioning. This thread has been rather encouraging for me, so thank you all for sharing your stories. Hopefully sometime in the middle of next year I will have good progress to report and can inspire someone else.

im not sure if i have said it before, but ill gladly say it again. THIS thread has been the driving force and the personal motivation to get off my butt and start living a happy life again.

i remember the first time i was researching on the internet about this "trans stuff" (i was a pretty close minded guy back then) and this thread came up in one of my search results.

oh what a joy to hear all these stories about people, like me, who were close to or into their 30s and blissfully transitioning. :)

you are all wonderful, beautiful, inspirations and i am so blessed to have found such a great and informative resource.

much love xxx

I turned 29 in september and am just 2 weeks into HRT, so I will be doing most of my transitioning in my thirties. I have been kicking myself lately for not doing it sooner, I am in that stage, but I also know that I wasn't ready to admit to even myself who I was until very recently. Now, I am unashamed and proud of myself, and I love myself for the 1st time ever! It is probably true that as we get into our late twenties and early thirties family and kids can come into play, perhaps making it harder to come out and start transitioning. I just know that it was finally right for me, and the only way I could ever be truly happy  :)

Quote from: FinallyMe84 on November 20, 2013, 11:24:01 AM
I turned 29 in september and am just 2 weeks into HRT, so I will be doing most of my transitioning in my thirties. I have been kicking myself lately for not doing it sooner, I am in that stage, but I also know that I wasn't ready to admit to even myself who I was until very recently. Now, I am unashamed and proud of myself, and I love myself for the 1st time ever! It is probably true that as we get into our late twenties and early thirties family and kids can come into play, perhaps making it harder to come out and start transitioning. I just know that it was finally right for me, and the only way I could ever be truly happy  :)

If you're happy then I'm happy!  I hope everything goes well for you!  Especially with us being the same age. :D

I really can't believe I've never posted in this thread! So yeah I started transitioning when I was 33 currently I'm 34 I don't think my late start has harmed me one bit and I'm constantly amazed by my progress so far.  ;D

Quote from: Heather on November 21, 2013, 12:23:06 AM
I really can't believe I've never posted in this thread! So yeah I started transitioning when I was 33 currently I'm 34 I don't think my late start has harmed me one bit and I'm constantly amazed by my progress so far.  ;D

Not to be a creepy stalker or anything but you ARE looking better and better!  I can only hope you feeling better and better as well!

Quote from: Just Lara on November 21, 2013, 12:31:00 AM
Not to be a creepy stalker or anything but you ARE looking better and better!  I can only hope you feeling better and better as well!

Thanks Lara I don't think your creepy or a stalker now if you start pming me telling you love me that may be a different story.  ;)  And yes I'm feeling amazing right now this whole crazy idea I had to transition has payed off big time and I couldn't be happier with my life now.  ;D

Quote from: Heather on November 21, 2013, 12:39:13 AM
Thanks Lara I don't think your creepy or a stalker now if you start pming me telling you love me that may be a different story.  ;)  And yes I'm feeling amazing right now this whole crazy idea I had to transition has payed off big time and I couldn't be happier with my life now.  ;D

HAH no worries, I won't!  Wow, that would be creepy!

This was the thread that I came to Susans to find. I'm 32 and was TERRIFIED that I was over the hill transition-wise. Seeing everyone's success stories (there are some downright gorgeous people who transitioned in the 30s!) helped me immeasurable to take the plunge.

Here goes...  ;D

I'm 33 and glad to see so many of us are transitioning successfully! I'm off to a somewhat slow start due to some health concerns, but as Confucius said, "be afraid not of moving slowly, but of standing still".

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 23, 2013, 02:33:59 AM
This was the thread that I came to Susans to find. I'm 32 and was TERRIFIED that I was over the hill transition-wise. Seeing everyone's success stories (there are some downright gorgeous people who transitioned in the 30s!) helped me immeasurable to take the plunge.

Here goes...  ;D

And you'll be one of them!! Hopefully me too ;) ;)

Quote from: Yukari-sensei on November 23, 2013, 05:52:27 AM
"be afraid not of moving slowly, but of standing still".

I'm gonna pinch this quote for staff development talks.  ::)

Quote from: kabit on November 23, 2013, 06:48:50 AM
And you'll be one of them!! Hopefully me too ;) ;)

Aww Tarah, you're too sweet!!  ;D

And you, my friend, will do be JUST FINE. :P

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 23, 2013, 08:11:07 AM
Aww Tarah, you're too sweet!!  ;D

And you, my friend, will do be JUST FINE. :P

♥

My favorite part of all this so far... is that I couldn't have said that before I came out. Not because it wasn't true (it totally is!!!) but because I was trying to fit a totally unrealistic image.

Looking good on top of finally just being myself will be gravy ;)

Somehow I had missed this thread too :). So here it goes - I started when I was 35 y.o., now over 6 months on hormones and so far doing just fine :)
P.S. And yeah, I remember watching tons of YT videos from young transitioners and getting that dreadful depressive feeling - they all started when they were 18-24 y.o. I am more than decade older than them... it's too late for me...
No, it was not :).

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 23, 2013, 08:09:58 AM
I'm gonna pinch this quote for staff development talks.  ::)

Please do! Help me justify my philosophy minor!  ;D

Quote from: Yukari-sensei on November 24, 2013, 02:00:18 AM
Please do! Help me justify my philosophy minor!  ;D

Philosophy Major here :P

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 24, 2013, 02:40:57 AM
Philosophy Major here :P

Going to be a lawyer or a professor?

Quote from: Yukari-sensei on November 24, 2013, 03:22:15 AM
Going to be a lawyer or a professor?

I did an after-degree program in Education. I work as a Ed Consultant, delivering PD and doing system planning.

Someday, I'd like to go back to the academic stream, probably in Teacher Education.

Girls, Hi!!!!  :D
So, I'm 28 years old..
I started HRT In a different way, the first 2 months just anti-androgen and then 3 days ago my endo give me the estrogen..
I know that it depends on genetics and a lot of other factors, the anti-androgen did miracles In me in 2 months, what about the estrogen.. How long until I see the first effects?

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 23, 2013, 09:02:51 AM
Somehow I had missed this thread too :). So here it goes - I started when I was 35 y.o., now over 6 months on hormones and so far doing just fine :)
P.S. And yeah, I remember watching tons of YT videos from young transitioners and getting that dreadful depressive feeling - they all started when they were 18-24 y.o. I am more than decade older than them... it's too late for me...
No, it was not :).

Yeah screw those videos!

Quote from: Just Lara on November 30, 2013, 02:15:50 AM
Yeah screw those videos!

As envious as we can be... they're not us! There are lots of beautiful 30s girls too :D! It doesn't take looks to make beauty... and I certainly hope many of us have the experiences to be beautiful, mature women where often these young girls are less wise and more vain.

Which isn't to say all of them are pretty, young, and vain... but I know that, for me, I was only able to come OOTC after I'd given up on caring what people thought about me (to a great extent). I never really cared... but at the same time, I clearly did fear others' reactions. I personally think that's a big part of coming out later in life... at least it was for me.

Oh yes! We wont be so hot and drop down gorgeous as young bloomers, but... We are more mature, wiser and generally smarter than them too. And anyway, in their 20-ties most chicks are hot - it is when we hit 30 - 40-ties when competition gets tougher. And although we have not had a lot of their experience and conditioning, our skin might look better than theirs, because You know - one of the things that T does - is keeps skin tigher and elastic. After having started HRT, I have such a babyface... :).
So, we should go for a different kind of appeal, classy and lady-like style, instead of girlie behaviour, and by Goddess -  is there anyone who would dare to say that such woman is not sexy? ;)

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 30, 2013, 06:42:21 AM
Oh yes! We wont be so hot and drop down gorgeous as young bloomers, but... We are more mature, wiser and generally smarter than them too. And anyway, in their 20-ties most chicks are hot - it is when we hit 30 - 40-ties when competition gets tougher. And although we have not had a lot of their experience and conditioning, our skin might look better than theirs, because You know - one of the things that T does - is keeps skin tigher and elastic. After having started HRT, I have such a babyface... :).
So, we should go for a different kind of appeal, classy and lady-like style, instead of girlie behaviour, and by Goddess -  is there anyone who would dare to say that such woman is not sexy? ;)

Good point!

I started transition at 37, full time at 39.

I thought the same, had similar worries, starting in your teens/twenties is the perfect scenario, but everyone seems to have their own unique reaction to the HRT regardless of age. Genetics play a big role too...

Want to add that I was married (11 years), had 3 kids, and went through a crazy divorce and child custody battle for the first 10 months of transition. I have 49/51 custody of the kiddos and am good friends with the ex wife.

Transitioning while married with young kids is going to cost you allot of $$$ if you get divorced, but if you can wing it and are miserable in your gender situation go for it... You can't put a price tag on sanity...

Quote from: Breanne Nicole on December 01, 2013, 02:09:28 AM
I started transition at 37, full time at 39.

I thought the same, had similar worries, starting in your teens/twenties is the perfect scenario, but everyone seems to have their own unique reaction to the HRT regardless of age. Genetics play a big role too...

Want to add that I was married (11 years), had 3 kids, and went through a crazy divorce and child custody battle for the first 10 months of transition. I have 49/51 custody of the kiddos and am good friends with the ex wife.

Transitioning while married with young kids is going to cost you allot of $$$ if you get divorced, but if you can wing it and are miserable in your gender situation go for it... You can't put a price tag on sanity...

Other than that we've decided to seek mediation for our divorce... and there's no custody issues (at least no problems yet on either count -- we're starting after the holidays)... this sounds like my exact situation.

It's not just about sanity. It's about life. I started this process (including coming out to myself and others) because my health was worsening and I couldn't fix it. I almost immediately lost 20 lbs by coming OOTC (that took a month). I'm at 45 lbs (though I gained a couple back from this Thanksgiving holiday :P) and have almost entirely reversed the diabetes (A1c from 7.5 to 5.9 in 4 months).

It's not just sanity... if I tried (and I would fail) to go back in the closet... I'd revert back to how I was before, but worse. I'd know who I was this time; I'd know I needed help; I'd know what help I needed. I wouldn't be able to get that help, for the "sake" of the family... and I'd destroy myself (slowly... but surely). Transition is my answer... and it isn't my fault or my wife's fault (though I do get blamed, often, of course).

Hi ,

I have read your post and I see myself in you.

I would like an update on what is happening in your life at the moment.

Thanks

I guess Adabelle is doing just fine - she started this thread like three years ago and is still posting actively :).

I'll give an update.

I'm doing really well! I originally started this thread (using a different name at that time) feeling very afraid about transition, but knowing that I was also feeling very depressed at the idea of continuing to live out my life in the wrong body. I was horrified at the idea of growing old in a male body when that didn't feel right for me. A lot has changed since then. My marriage did end, but after a difficult period of a year or so a new friendship with my ex wife began to take shape and now we love each other dearly as sisters. She has a boyfriend and it's amazing to see her happy. I myself have started dating and have gone out with about 9 girls over the last 6 months or so. I've come out to each of them and none have rejected me for being trans thankfully. They have all said it wasn't a problem for them. I've stayed friends with some of the girls I've dated, but I haven't had strong romantic feelings for any of the girls yet so nothing has really gotten too serious. Oh except for one girl, but she didn't have romantic feelings for me.. Alas, dating is hard, and I'm picky on top of that.

In the 10 years since I started to work through my gender issues with a therapist until now I've lost 50 pounds, changed my name, gender etc, and this last year also had SRS. In 2014 I'll likely get a BA because things aren't quite as full as I'd prefer. :) But I'm overall quite happy. Electrolysis is nearly finished (many many hours) and to be honest I mainly just find myself content and feeling quite 'normal'. I don't have dysphoria anymore about gender. Well, sometimes I try and remember what it was like to be a guy but it's kinda hard to remember honestly because it just feels like I've always been this way.

Looking back at my earlier posts, and looking back at earlier pictures is a really amazing experience. I have great compassion for myself and what I went through to get here (and great compassion for all who are born this way). And I'm so grateful that I took my time and moved with intention through transition (slow isn't good for everyone, but it was for me). Part of me does wish I had done it sooner though just to save myself years of anguish.

I now work a stable full time job at a large company, and I'm fortunate that I don't have to be out at work. None of my coworkers seem to know, or if they do they are indifferent about my status. I've been at my company for two years. I have great optimism about my future after going through some pretty difficult times. Even this last year has been difficult with recovery (surgery isn't a small thing), but I still feel content that I'll find romantic love again.

My transition video (linked below in my signature) shows pictures of my early transition. The final picture is two years ago already!

Transition is definitely a hard journey, but it's beautiful in some ways too. It's messy. But in the end, I found that because in transitioning I was being true to myself, the result has been very positive for me despite the hardship that it took to get here. And there's much more ahead I'm sure. :)

<3 to all my sisters transitioning in their 30's! Courage to you!

Adabelle,

Thank you for the update and thank you for making this post!  It's been very helpful to all of us "not so old but not so young" transitioners.  It is good to hear that you are doing well.  Not only am I happy for you, I am happy for me.  If you can do it then I can do it too!  As well as anyone else posting here.

Thanks again!

Quote from: Adabelle on December 06, 2013, 11:56:18 PM
I'll give an update.

[...]

<3 to all my sisters transitioning in their 30's! Courage to you!

Thank you Adabelle! ♥
:'(

Adabelle,

I owe you a debt of thanks.

Watching your amazing transition video on YT helped immensely to build confidence to move forward. Of all the transition videos on the internet, yours was the one that spoke to me. We have a very similar facial structure and are close in age.

Thank you so much reposting and thank you for the update. You're amazing! :) 

Quote from: Adabelle on December 06, 2013, 11:56:18 PM
<3 to all my sisters transitioning in their 30's! Courage to you!

Adabelle, that video was wonderful! You look so happy! :) And your family looks so sweet. And you look cool as hell hanging out with Chaz Bono. ;)

It got me all weepy! You have me doing the happy/sad cry now! That kinda cry where you aren't sure which it is because it makes you really happy but it hurts so much at the same time. And now I can't stop! ::) Your video really messed me up, but in a good way!

Thank you for sharing it.

I guess I can finally join this thread now that I'll be starting HRT next month.

I started HRT when I was on the verge of turning 31 nine months ago and it's been not so difficut until now. I'm having a lot of doubts even as I seem to look more femme.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on December 08, 2013, 12:51:44 PM
I started HRT when I was on the verge of turning 31 nine months ago and it's been not so difficut until now. I'm having a lot of doubts...

Having some doubts I think is normal. I had some too during my transition, and once my dysphoria had gone away it let me think clearly about my gender identity (I realized that I'm not really 100% female, but like 80/20, which then made me have some doubts early on). It depends on what your doubts are about, and how strong they are. I hope you have someone (maybe an experienced gender therapist) you can talk to about this stuff. If not this forum is a great resource.

Ultimately transition for me was about finding my true self, and I'd not have been ashamed if I discovered that I needed to stop and process some things along the way. I hope you won't feel pressure to either transition or stop transitioning - but can move forward in whatever path feels right for you. But to be honest, transition is such a difficult thing I think it's normal to have doubts along the way. Only you can know if those doubts are strong enough, or serious enough that you need to stop and process things or change direction.

P.S. Thanks for the kind remarks in response to my previous post all!

Quote from: Adabelle on December 08, 2013, 03:41:24 PM
Having some doubts I think is normal. I had some too during my transition, and once my dysphoria had gone away it let me think clearly about my gender identity (I realized that I'm not really 100% female, but like 80/20, which then made me have some doubts early on).

Wow! Thank You soooo much - this came just in time :). Perfect :). You are describing the state of mind I am currently in  and I found Your post to be very helpful :).

Adabelle, for whatever reason you started this thread it's helped so many people by the responses alone - and you can count me as another 30's transitioner who's inspired by your journey and strength.

I was honestly having an awful day today, and this has picked me up no end <3

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 30, 2013, 06:42:21 AM
Oh yes! We wont be so hot and drop down gorgeous as young bloomers, but... We are more mature, wiser and generally smarter than them too. And anyway, in their 20-ties most chicks are hot - it is when we hit 30 - 40-ties when competition gets tougher. And although we have not had a lot of their experience and conditioning, our skin might look better than theirs, because You know - one of the things that T does - is keeps skin tigher and elastic. After having started HRT, I have such a babyface... :).
So, we should go for a different kind of appeal, classy and lady-like style, instead of girlie behaviour, and by Goddess -  is there anyone who would dare to say that such woman is not sexy? ;)

Oh, 30's transitioners can be just as young and hot looking as the younger ones. ;)
Teehee!

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 30, 2013, 06:42:21 AM
Oh yes! We wont be so hot and drop down gorgeous as young bloomers

Pfffffttt! :)

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 30, 2013, 06:42:21 AM
Oh yes! We wont be so hot and drop down gorgeous as young bloomers, but...

I think we could have some fun with this statement. How about a challenge? I would gladly head to a bar with an early transitioner in my area, and see who gets hit on first, and most. I would love to prove that those of us in our thirties can do just as well as the young girls.

Quote from: Brooke777 on December 10, 2013, 08:48:48 PM
I think we could have some fun with this statement. How about a challenge? I would gladly head to a bar with an early transitioner in my area, and see who gets hit on first, and most. I would love to prove that those of us in our thirties can do just as well as the young girls.

Go for it :) But the outcome would then quite depend on the type of bar You decided to visit ;).

Quote from: Adabelle on December 08, 2013, 03:41:24 PM
Having some doubts I think is normal. I had some too during my transition, and once my dysphoria had gone away it let me think clearly about my gender identity (I realized that I'm not really 100% female, but like 80/20, which then made me have some doubts early on). It depends on what your doubts are about, and how strong they are. I hope you have someone (maybe an experienced gender therapist) you can talk to about this stuff. If not this forum is a great resource.

I feel the same as well, that I am not 100% female. But I assumed it was that way because I feel like a bull in a china shop. The akwardness of acting in a female manner all the time, trying to walk in heels, not drinking beer, I just really do not feel refined.

I am not sure whether this is something that with more polish, learning and refinement as you go through transition that changes, maybe the ratio changes?????

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 11, 2013, 05:40:23 AM
Go for it :) But the outcome would then quite depend on the type of bar You decided to visit ;).

I would love to try it too just for fun. But young guys like 19-early 20's in a straight dance club hit on me, lol.
And I did better that night than most of my cis girlfriends, they were like wow you go girl lol.

So it can happen. ;)
Sometimes

Quote from: HelloKitty on December 11, 2013, 09:56:07 AM
I would love to try it too just for fun. But young guys like 19-early 20's in a straight dance club hit on me, lol.
And I did better that night than most of my cis girlfriends, they were like wow you go girl lol.

So it can happen. ;)
Sometimes

I am sure You had lotsa fun there :). But... dont guys in that age bracket essentially hit on everything which is alive and remotely resembles a female??? (and before anyone decides to jump on me, that was not meant as personal remark, just an observation) :)

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 11, 2013, 12:11:02 PM
I am sure You had lotsa fun there :). But... dont guys in that age bracket essentially hit on everything which is alive and remotely resembles a female??? (and before anyone decides to jump on me, that was not meant as personal remark, just an observation) :)

They have no clue I'm trans, dearie ;)
You can think I look 100% guy all you want but I pass rather well in real life, tyvm. I will refrain on saying what I rhink of YOUR appearance. Insults and waring isnt something i wanna do.

I just re-read what you said, i underatnd i think. Yes guys will hit on lmost nything lol, thats true. LD

My friends were more attractive than i am but i had more luck because i happen to be a better, more seductive dancer than them lol.

I am sorry if i had initially misread your intent

I don't mean to thread-Necro, but this is such a helpful and supportive thread for me (and for other 30-somethings like me), that I like to promote it's longevity. :) I'm having something of a difficult transition from Youth to Adulthood (mid-30s). I discovered a concentration line on my forehead a few months ago as I was gearing up to begin pre-HRT weightloss, and the shock was kinda hard. I'd always pictured that I would transition while I still had my youthful beauty, and that somehow I would come out the other side beautiful in a hot young woman sort of way (passing is less important to me than feeling beautiful and feminine these days.) When I realized that, yes, I was aging, I started to panic about whether I had missed the boat and whether I would come through transition as a drab, masculine and unpretty woman. This thread really gives me confidence and hope.

Thank you all.

Hormones definitely do help! You have a lot to look forward to. Don't worry, be happy. :)

I am transitioning right in the middle of my 30's, although I now accuse myself, that I didn't begin, when I was 18... but I was just too scared, because of unsupportive and aggressive father... nevermind...
I started HRT short after my 32nd birthday and now I am 33 and about to go fulltime in a month or so, I hope :)
Many times I also wonder why there aren't many stories about people, transitioned in their 30's... I saw a post, where marriage and kids were mentioned, but I am not sure it is the reason, because at least I am 33 and don't have a family and I know other people with the same conditions.
Nevertheless, I think there are good sides of it, because you have financial stability and are young enough at the same time. I thought, that 30's would be too late to achieve good results form HRT, but luckily I was mistaken :) The only things, that I regret starting that late, are my hair problems, because of androgenic alopecia, which now prevents me from looking female enough, also the male fat pattern and shape, that I still fight with all my powers... 10 days ago I started progesterone, which I think is doing a good job about my shape and hair, so maybe the things will get fixed sooner, than expected :)

Girl friends enjoy being in your 30's & you can become beautiful women. I tried to transition in my early 20's long ago & again several times in my early 30's. There were just too many family & work problems to become myself. Now I'm in my 50's. I'm OK with my life however you girls please enjoy life & do not delay in completing your transition. Have fun, be happy.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on March 13, 2014, 08:16:21 AM
Girl friends enjoy being in your 30's & you can become beautiful women. I tried to transition in my early 20's long ago & again several times in my early 30's. There were just too many family & work problems to become myself. Now I'm in my 50's. I'm OK with my life however you girls please enjoy life & do not delay in completing your transition. Have fun, be happy.

Thanks for that. :)

I'm another who started transition in her 30s (and noticed there seemed to be fewer people in that age cohort than I expected!). I started HRT at 32, and have had fantastic results.

I was and am happily married, too.

I'm 32 and I just started.  I'm hoping that I didn't wait too long--but I also enjoyed my 20's and had a lot of great experiences, so I try not to have regrets.  With any luck, I won't have missed my window...

I get very high contrast feedback (recap: started at 34, 1 year and two months HRT). Monday, I the lady who pierced my ears said, "There aren't many things that are rites of passage for us in our culture. Getting our ears pierced and giving birth are about it." Or something to that effect. I don't really remember. I kind of blanked out when I realized she thought I could give birth! Then today I'm told by someone else, "Paige, I know you are a woman but when I see your face I see a man."

But, I'm happy. That's all that counts!

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 06, 2014, 02:37:18 AM
And then of course there is always some random bloke with "Dude, got some smoke?". But, sure sometimes being asked for a smoke is better than being asked for phone number.

I have heard woman call each other "Dude". "Guys" is common too. So, could be you're just encountering unfortunate use of language.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 06, 2014, 07:02:37 AM
Nope :). That was a guy and he was using expression in one of local languages which translates to English as "dude" but is used in respect of guys only :)

Bummer.

What bugs me about my "feedback" is it has me looking at FFS. How nutters is this for me? I'd put my body through all that in the effort to get this woman to gender me appropriately? I think of all my friends who know me and my face, and how awkward it would be for us to have me suddenly look like someone else. Maybe if I'd done it when I went full time, maybe that would have worked. Now? I'm scared if the social damage FFS would do. Might do a top level post about this after I wake up...

The woman who shared her feedback with me met me two months into my going full-time.

As for my happiness, I just examine my life and my options a lot. And like any woman I do have features about my body that I'm less than content with e.g. My brow ridge. So, I would like to do something to feminize those more masculine features, but I'm worried doing so would make me pay a social price that is way too high and would make me very unhappy. I'm also upset with myself that because of one person these thoughts got put my head and that same one person, as you alluded to, will probably never stop saying such things no matter what I do. So my happiness ain't perfect, but it is healthy.

I'm glad this thread resurfaced!

I started at 22 for maybe 4 months then unfortunately got cold feet. I just started re-transitioning at 35 and it's been 7 months now and I'm developing nicely. Of course I can't help and wonder what I would look like now with 13 years of HRT. People are always astonished and think that I'm in my mid 20's so hopefully that will work with me.

Quote from: Misato on April 06, 2014, 08:51:53 AM
The woman who shared her feedback with me met me two months into my going full-time.

As for my happiness, I just examine my life and my options a lot. And like any woman I do have features about my body that I'm less than content with e.g. My brow ridge. So, I would like to do something to feminize those more masculine features, but I'm worried doing so would make me pay a social price that is way too high and would make me very unhappy. I'm also upset with myself that because of one person these thoughts got put my head and that same one person, as you alluded to, will probably never stop saying such things no matter what I do. So my happiness ain't perfect, but it is healthy.

That's more terse and defensive than I'd like.

*sigh* I dunno. The press on if I'm happy or not just got to me. I think I am happy, I know I'm happier relative to where I was as a guy. I just can't help but feel it's silly for me to dive into FFS info based on one persons feedback. Especially when so many loving people have come into my life. Heck the person that upset me I like her well enough too. I must admit I'm also terrified I'll start chasing some ideal instead of being happy and comfortable with what I've been blessed with.

I just turned 32 a few months back and decided to start the transition.  I was going to do it back in my mid twenties, and thought about it in my teens...but between the military, an injury that all about crippled me for 4-5 years and brought me up to 250+ lbs...and a wife who for two years afterwards battled cancer and all my money went to that...I am now FINALLY am in the position (financially) to go through with it.  I am down to 170 now but still think I could lose weight in some areas of my body and gain in others.

I am yet to start hormones...that should happen in a few months when my insurance and medical provider gets it in gear...and at the rate I am saving up I will be able to afford the surgery when I am 34.

For me, right now, it is about the anger.  Ohhhhhhh the anger.  All the opportunities I missed.  The friends and family, all their false promises of always being there for me "no matter what" but then vanishing when I come out about it.  I am young enough to form new relationships but old enough to really miss these people, at least for a while.  However, as time goes this anger is turning to sadness, depression...maybe it's because I am letting go of a lot of my more "masculine" ways of thinking, or I am at that "dark time" in the transition where people abandon you?  I'll make peace with it, sure, but this I guess grieving is part of the process...and, knowing myself, when I look in the mirror at the "new me" I will be able to say it was worth it...and, better late than never.

I have already picked up a few new good acquintences who know I am transitioning and are okay with it...maybe these will be my friends to "replace" (if that is the right word) all the...traitors?  Is that the word?

To help myself along, I went on a more "estrogen-boosting" diet...vegetarian, mostly...and I am already going through a softening up, and lost 11 LBS in about 4 1/2 weeks.  Hot flashes, emotional energy, softer skin and complexion...if this is a taste/the iceburg of what hormone therapy can do for you, let me tell you, I am looking forward to it.  I have found the results to be addicting, actually, and the hormone treatment can't come soon enough.

As far as my looks are concerned: I am a little different than most MTFs.  I view myself more as androgynous so I don't mind being a "gender bender" even after the op, and the thought of keeping a lot of my "masculine" traits after the change doesn't bother me too much...okay, doesn't bother me at all.  My only real problem area is my penis, to be honest.  That thing needed to go away yesterday.

Quote from: Ev on April 07, 2014, 05:40:59 AM
I just turned 32 a few months back and decided to start the transition.  I was going to do it back in my mid twenties, and thought about it in my teens...but between the military, an injury that all about crippled me for 4-5 years and brought me up to 250+ lbs...and a wife who for two years afterwards battled cancer and all my money went to that...I am now FINALLY am in the position (financially) to go through with it.  I am down to 170 now but still think I could lose weight in some areas of my body and gain in others.

I am yet to start hormones...that should happen in a few months when my insurance and medical provider gets it in gear...and at the rate I am saving up I will be able to afford the surgery when I am 34.

For me, right now, it is about the anger.  Ohhhhhhh the anger.  All the opportunities I missed.  The friends and family, all their false promises of always being there for me "no matter what" but then vanishing when I come out about it.  I am young enough to form new relationships but old enough to really miss these people, at least for a while.  However, as time goes this anger is turning to sadness, depression...maybe it's because I am letting go of a lot of my more "masculine" ways of thinking, or I am at that "dark time" in the transition where people abandon you?  I'll make peace with it, sure, but this I guess grieving is part of the process...and, knowing myself, when I look in the mirror at the "new me" I will be able to say it was worth it...and, better late than never.

I have already picked up a few new good acquintences who know I am transitioning and are okay with it...maybe these will be my friends to "replace" (if that is the right word) all the...traitors?  Is that the word?

To help myself along, I went on a more "estrogen-boosting" diet...vegetarian, mostly...and I am already going through a softening up, and lost 11 LBS in about 4 1/2 weeks.  Hot flashes, emotional energy, softer skin and complexion...if this is a taste/the iceburg of what hormone therapy can do for you, let me tell you, I am looking forward to it.  I have found the results to be addicting, actually, and the hormone treatment can't come soon enough.

As far as my looks are concerned: I am a little different than most MTFs.  I view myself more as androgynous so I don't mind being a "gender bender" even after the op, and the thought of keeping a lot of my "masculine" traits after the change doesn't bother me too much...okay, doesn't bother me at all.  My only real problem area is my penis, to be honest.  That thing needed to go away yesterday.

Hey Ev!  Nice to see you again!  Just so you know, I'm ordering "Prismatic Greys and Introverted Projections" this week in paperback.  Im pretty excited about that.  I can tell you from my limited experience that you are going to LOOOOOVE it on hormones.  I'm all for the androgynous idea and its nice to know that I'm not the only one who is cool with being andro even after the transition.  Ev I think you are awesome and can't wait to see how things progress for you.  Also, nice to see another 30ish mtf joining the club.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 07, 2014, 07:27:01 AM
Cool to know that there are more of us andro folks here who dont mind keeping some of our masculine traits and maybe putting them into some good use should the opportunity arise :).

Heck yeah.  Nothing wrong with boy stuff.  For me personally, its just easier to not worry so much about passing and completely trying to move to the other side of the gender spectrum physically when internally I'm still sort of both genders.  I still like bow and arrows, t-shirts, skateboards, ect.  She we are mostly feminine (at least I am) but why limit ourselves.  I guess being in our 30s (or close to it since Im still 29) we are old and wise enough to realize all this.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 07, 2014, 08:40:54 AM
Same here :). One day I just realised that if "he" has been stubborn enough to survive despite hormones for so long (and surviving has always been something he was good about) then just as well he could just stay and enjoy the ride! My core identity was always female and hence the GID and other unpleasant stuff but even if I was born a girl, I am quite sure I would have been a tomboy.
And archery is quite feminine sport, btw! Do You shoot Olympic, compound or historical? :)

Yeah you think so?  I guess it is....

Actually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol 

It looks just like this one:
(It actually shoots pretty well considering)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.instructables.com%2FFTQ%2FS4GM%2FF7YGQCS2%2FFTQS4GMF7YGQCS2.LARGE.jpg&hash=0af2cb5e33b7a587a0fb3872bd6f1e67f9a33cbc)


Its sooooooo nice to meet people with the same views.

Quote from: Lara the Lover and the Fighter on April 07, 2014, 08:50:20 AMActually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol

Best comment I've read for a long time!  Really made my day, and bittersweet as it brought back some fun memories of my own male childhood.   :)

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 07, 2014, 11:21:17 AM
Or kinda steam-punk or post-nuclear :).

HAH!  I should spray paint it with some metal looking paint and put some gears and bolts on it.  Steampunk!! 

Quote from: Lara the Lover and the Fighter on April 07, 2014, 08:50:20 AM
Actually I made a bow out of pvc pipe so.....neo-historical?? lol 

I made some of these two years ago but I overheated them during construction so they broke after about a month... I was using an electric stove for one and a wood fire for another... Not the most precise heating tools...

I don't see any reason why this should be a male activity. If anything it is a lot like an arts and crafts project which is typically considered a female activity.

And yes especially with the hunger games series going mainstream, archery is definitely not a male only sport now.

Quote from: xponentialshift on April 07, 2014, 03:22:56 PM
I made some of these two years ago but I overheated them during construction so they broke after about a month... I was using an electric stove for one and a wood fire for another... Not the most precise heating tools...

I don't see any reason why this should be a male activity. If anything it is a lot like an arts and crafts project which is typically considered a female activity.

And yes especially with the hunger games series going mainstream, archery is definitely not a male only sport now.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 07, 2014, 03:47:55 PM
I have been to many historical re-enactment fests and while events such as knight tournaments or field buhurts are male dominated, usually there is quite significant female dominance in archery contests (and dancing too, ofc) :).

Darn I was really looking for masculine things that I do.  I guess archery is out. lol

Well I still have skateboards and t-shirts.  But then again so many girls skate now.




She's cool:
(Hillary Thompson: first open transgender skater)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.highsnobiety.com%2Ffiles%2F2013%2F03%2Fthe-story-of-transgender-skater-hillary-thompson-01.jpg&hash=14d24f1c9ce26df4e61b34041902d08085926be5)

I will forever be a Drog, that is for sure hahahaha.  In my opinion some of the most attractive people are the ones that straddle the gender line...but, that is my personal opinion.  I've been with a woman for 15 years who can pass off as a little teenage boy if she dresses right so consider me bias.  I look like a 30-something man in drab, but when I am out in makeup I "lose" about 8-12 years according to some.  :)

Back when I was a "boy" I was in a few medieval sword and board contests...almost won a tourney.  Third place, semi-final...but the judge didn't like me because he thought it was unfair that I had experience in MA and it was a "amateur" division so he refused to call any of my points...it was only my second medieval tourney so I thought that put me in "amatuer" as I never fought with a sword and shield but hey.  Archery I suck at because I have a depth-perception problem/need glasses(?) I think.  In close it's all about "feel" and I am sensitive to motion, sound, and touch and did some time in MA, so that "in your face" stuff worked for me.  Your eyes get the best of you in melee so you can't really rely on them anyways.

Let's just say to hit the broad side of a barn I need a shotgun with birdshot, a 20-foot spread, a map to point out the direction of the barn itself, and someone kind enough to rotate me in the direction of said barn.   :D

Thank you Lara!   :)  Tell me what you think when you are done in a PM or something so we don't hijack the thread lol.  I am working on a second poetry book now and any feedback (honest feedback!) I can get will help me with some of the direction I am taking the second one.

I'm 31 and have yet to start. It is so encouraging to see others much older than me that have transitioned well.

I'm thinking my first step will be finasteride. I've read up on the side effects and I'm okay with all that. I still need to find a therapist I can trust before I'll be able to get E.

  I hadn't remembered just how far back this thread started - long before I got here.  I'd posted to it on page 7 and even that was almost two years ago.  Anyway, I started transition at a snail's pace back in summer 2012 at age 35 but things have really accelerated over the past year.  You can see by my tickers how long I've been on HRT.  I just turned 37 and hopefully will be going full-time before my next birthday.  My goal is to complete everything I want for transition before I hit 40.

Quote from: Misato on April 05, 2014, 06:42:22 PM
the lady who pierced my ears said, "There aren't many things that are rites of passage for us in our culture. Getting our ears pierced and giving birth are about it." Or something to that effect. I don't really remember.

What about getting your periods? That is certainly a rite of passage. I'm glad though I don't have those and menstrual cycles...

It makes me smile every single time I see a reply to this thread. I just turned 37 last month and am so glad I've been able to be me for 3 years now!

Quote from: Adabelle on April 25, 2014, 10:56:22 PM
It makes me smile every single time I see a reply to this thread. I just turned 37 last month and am so glad I've been able to be me for 3 years now!

You are an inspiration to all of us. :)

N/A

I was a competitive surfer in my teens and early twenties. That was a big factor in not wanting to transition when I was younger and wanted to make it as a pro. I knew how I felt then, I think I was scared about what others might think.

Now I have more body and facial hair and I can tell my hairline is starting to receded(slowly thank God!). I'm 5'9' and about 170 right now so I have to drop some weight. It's not like I didn't try to be a normal guy, I even enlisted in the Navy when I was 23, and only 140lbs.....

So glade I found this post. I am 36 waiting to start my transition and like most on here I have my worries. My biggest is my kids I have 4 wonderful kids and they are the ression why I am still alive today. I just was wondering how did peoples kids handle it all?' x

bit off topic but i am 35 now, yay to the 30s LOL , started HRT when I was 19-20, had SRS Sept last year , couldn't be happier ..

been through a lot to become who I am & who I really want to be , money wise , pain wise, but all worth it ..  O0

Quote from: Adabelle on April 25, 2014, 10:56:22 PM
It makes me smile every single time I see a reply to this thread. I just turned 37 last month and am so glad I've been able to be me for 3 years now!

Such a beautiful video Adabelle!  It made me tear up  :) Thanks for posting it! Videos like yours help so many people to see what is possible.  I am 39 and having the same debate about age that you had when you started.  This video makes me want to start HRT tomorrow :). Of course I will continue debating it to death instead though.

I'm 34 years old and started taking hormones 4 months ago.

This is how I look today after 4 months of HRT (https://www.facebook.com/ruthless.band/photos/pb.575969969126523.-2207520000.1399173334./710237285699790/?type=3&theater).

My face didn't change at all from hormones yet as far as I can tell. Maybe there are subtle changes. There are other pictures in there you can check out and note the date of each picture.

Since we are reviving old threads and I'm firmly in my thirties now, might as well post:

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-XN470FAoVT0/U2WtI4-VPnI/AAAAAAAAAZc/HtfE0KlKxzc/w614-h818-no/20140503_205829.jpg)

I pretty much figured I did'n have a snowballs chance in hell until I shaved, put on some makeup and a wig, I literally cried when I discovered that there was still a chance that I could transition and pass.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on May 03, 2014, 11:44:39 PM
Ahhh, at around 4 months I pretty much looked the same too, maybe a bit softened up here and there. It was around month 8-9 when thimgs almost exploded - or should I rather say, blossomed?:)

Cool Emily!  I'm around 4 months right now and things are starting to happen in a very good way.  Now I get to look forward to things exploding? 

You just added excitement to my morning breakfast.  ^.^



@Ruth Ruthless I think you look great for 4 months!

i'm having another round of (painful) around the 2 year mark of hrt - hope it's worth it :)

Adabelle,

I just joined.  Searching the 'net, I ran across this topic thread, read the first couple pages, then the last couple pages (impatient am I? LOL) but after finding the video you created **after** knowing it was a multi-year struggle, I have tears in my eyes!  You're so beautiful!  Inside & out!  And such an inspiration for us (me?) who are out there and can't make the move to the other side.  I wish and pray for you only the best.  You are truly an inspiration to me and many others out there!!!

HUGS!!!!
Michelle

Wayyy possible to do. I started my transition at 29 (one monthes before I turned thirty) and dont look at it as a 20's thing more so as an all my life off and on thing. I went full time at 21 and have been living full time as long as that lil ticker below says, so ten monthes 2 weeks. June 28th was my full time start date last year. Anyhow, itll be a year at the start of july and all I can say is it was the best decision if my life. Granted I started 'on the cusp' of my thirties, I look at it like a in my thirties transition. It is totally possible to do, and the bull is minor you have to face or go through, at least.....it was to me. Like many, I wouldn't go back if it was possible to do, and it is totally worth it, all around. I cannot wait to see where I am at come 36. It is a multi year process I get that, and I'm perfectly content with the ride. It is nice to see many successful transitions in here.

38 and started HRT today.  I will keep ya posted.

It's almost exactly 6 months since I first saw this thread. I'm 29 and I felt like I'd left transitioning too late but stories like these gave me hope and for some reason it was Adabelle's story that finally gave me enough courage to come out to my friends and go to therapy. Today I started HRT and I'm so excited about what the future holds for me. I don't wanna get too sappy or anything but I feel I should thank you, Adabelle, for having the courage to become the real you as it inspired me to do the same.

I might as well add my story to this topic. I am now 37 (1977 represent!) and I started my journey two years ago.

Throughout my year of therapy I was concerned and/or scared about pretty much every aspect of transitioning. Hair growing everywhere, thick facial hair, some hair loss, a decidedly un-feminine body shape. But by the time I started RLE I had stopped worrying about most things. As soon as my diagnosis was official I changed my name and went full time, and everything has gone fine so far. My friends and most of my family are supportive, some have even forgotten my old name. HRT feels great, I have a pair of cute booblets, my facial hair is almost completely gone after electrolysis, my voice sounds great and people everywhere automatically treat me as a female. And I seem to have gotten younger as well. A 22 year old friend thought I was younger than her :)

So I'd say a late thirties transition isn't much different from an early twenties transition. Sure, I wish I had started earlier, but that's because it feels like I've wasted time, not because I'm late to the party. It's my party after all, and the party doesn't start until I arrive :)

:) Great stories.

38- just started hrt and feel alive.  If anything, start just for having the right hormones in your head.  It is like driving with the handbrake on for years and then suddenly taking it off.

Quote from: Emmaline on May 27, 2014, 11:44:20 PM
It is like driving with the handbrake on for years and then suddenly taking it off.

I might have to add that metaphor to my collection :) My usual metaphor is that it's like listening to radio static for years and then turning off the radio.

Quote from: Emmaline on May 27, 2014, 11:44:20 PM
38- just started hrt and feel alive.  If anything, start just for having the right hormones in your head.  It is like driving with the handbrake on for years and then suddenly taking it off.

Welcome to the brave new world Emmaline.

Quote from: Incarlina on May 28, 2014, 12:23:53 AM
it's like listening to radio static for years and then turning off the radio.

Yes! I know that feeling. :)

Started at the exact age of 30. About 6 months into Hrt now. I am getting great results, but I was born very androgenous with hips and gynomastia (or however it is spelt.)

A huge part of my results I think are fat intake. I don't advise to be unhealthy, but you need fat for your body to decide to put it where you want it. I work in trucking and this job makes me fat no matter how I eat, and I lost my arm biceps last week for the natural female arm shape. I think your body prioritized placing fat so eventually you lose male fat placement for female fat placement, but the body needs enough fat to do it's thing. I think if you lose it later on, it would be fine, and a lot of it would remain in the right places.

Only problem is I can't tell what are my boobs or my food boobies.  :)

Ok.  Boobies are the ouchy bits.

Poke.  Ow.  Yaaaaaaay!  Poke.  Ow.  Yaaaay! (Etc)

Better stop doing that Emmaline.

The more you do it the bigger they will get. ;)

PokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepoke


(Ow)...

PokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokePokepokepokPokepokepokeePokepokepokePokepokepoke...

Can I poke too?

 :icon_poke:

Free for all.

Poke??? If someone looks at mine they hurt!

One of those metal bikinis Red Sonja wears is looking like a smart move right now.

I just want to thank all the girls on here, who have given me advice and encouragement since I joined this forum.
I've started to see a therapist again. I am starting to realise that my dysphoria is ultimately the root of of my depression. If I don't address the dysphoria, the depression is not going to dissappear. I feel comfortable with the therapist which feels a big help.
I've started some steps towards feminity. I am growing my hair and getting rid of body hair. It feels a bit better.  I know however there is only so much I can do without hormones though. I do hope to get a referral soon.
I don't know how to broach coming out to the wider world. Do I wait until the hormones really start to kick in, or sooner?
I am not sure whether its something that will help the effects of hrt and my transition,  but my body is not overly masculine.  I didn't start puberty untill quite late in my teens, so I don't really have a large amount of muscle mass body hair. I can get away with shaving, maybe 3 times a week.
I am fairly tall however - 5' 11 and I am scared this will affect me eventually passing.
Also, how did you all start planning your transition?

Quote from: delyth ann on June 09, 2014, 01:50:37 AM
Also, how did you all start planning your transition?

I'm an expert procrastinator and an awful planner, so a week before going full time I still had no plan. For the last year I had tried to figure out when and how I would come out/start transitioning. Some starting points I considered were:

• Done with voice therapy
• "Sufficient" hair removal done
• Boob growth
• FFS

But when my psychiatrist called to say "We have decided to diagnose you with transsexualism, and I've sent referrals for hair removal, voice therapy and hormones", I immediately sent a request for a name change and came out to friends and extended family on facebook. The next day I threw away my last pair of men's jeans, and jumped straight into full time without much thought.

I am sure Grace and Cindy will be able to provide some thoughts for you.

You do want to get a referral to an endo so as to start hrt.
You will need pre blood work and a few other checks. How are you with blood? :laugh:

The endo will most likely start you on a low dose of E so as to see how your body reacts. You never know.That will take a few months so give you time to think how far or fast you want to go.
Mine asked if I wanted to think about it for a few weeks? Do you think I waited?

Facial hair removal is always a good place to start as this does take time and can not be rushed.

One word of warning for you.
You might actually be happy so be prepared to smile.

There are some good people in Sydney and it is not as scary as you think.

Happy to help or push you if needed.

J

Just about to hit 35 ( :( ). Wont be able to get on hormones until the end of August due to insurance changes, but am finally seeing some success with hair removal. I continue to worry about my skin, though. The lines I noticed on my forehead just after I turned 34 haven't really deepened, but they haven't gone anywhere either. I'm preparing to buy some retinol cream, but will hormones help me to maintain a youthful, femme face? Anyone's experience? I'd kinda like to have a decade or two of feeling young and hot as a woman After I finish transition before I resign myself to aging.. (say late 50s.)

Quote from: BlindSeeress on June 15, 2014, 02:16:22 PM
Just about to hit 35 ( :( ). Wont be able to get on hormones until the end of August due to insurance changes, but am finally seeing some success with hair removal. I continue to worry about my skin, though. The lines I noticed on my forehead just after I turned 34 haven't really deepened, but they haven't gone anywhere either. I'm preparing to buy some retinol cream, but will hormones help me to maintain a youthful, femme face? Anyone's experience? I'd kinda like to have a decade or two of feeling young and hot as a woman After I finish transition before I resign myself to aging.. (say late 50s.)

LINES!!! Grrrrrrrrrr.

I got some trusted stylists and an esthetician I see. They've hooked me up with product, even made changes as the seasons change. Not perfect results, but I do think my lines are better.

Hormones may help but no guarantee. Have had lines on forehead since I'm a teenager, no change or barely.

This topic always give me hope, since I am now turning 31 here in august...waa been with Susan's almost a year now...and blah because haven't made any major steps..but there is still hope right?  ;D

Thirties is the new twenties!

Quote from: Aina on June 16, 2014, 10:12:15 PM
This topic always give me hope, since I am now turning 31 here in august...waa been with Susan's almost a year now...and blah because haven't made any major steps..but there is still hope right?  ;D

Quote from: antonia on June 16, 2014, 10:37:01 PM
Thirties is the new twenties!

So does that make the twenties the new tweens? hehe

I'm 34 and have been on HRT for almost 2 months now. I have to accept that I will never be able to pass as a 100% gg, but I am sort of ok with passing as a TS. I do not fall inline with the rest that are lucky enough to be in the correct height and build range, but I HAVE to make do with what I have!!!.

hmm I wonder what that makes the onesies...

Quote from: Aina on June 16, 2014, 11:14:46 PM
So does that make the twenties the new tweens? hehe

As an open-question to anyone in the older-than-30-transitioning club: do you ever feel as though you wasted your youth? Like the chance to be young and hot and desirable is gone forever, or is all the hype about '30s are the new 20s, 50s are the new 30s' ... is any of that for real? Just had my 35th birthday, and I am feeling pretty blue. Weight is coming off, though slowly, and hair removal is progressing slower than I would like. I'd like to believe that when I get down to my goal weight and have a year of hormones behind me (36th birthday, hopefully) I'll look in the mirror and still see a beautiful and YOUTHFUL woman, because that's how I feel. I still live the life I lived in my 20s and early 30s, with a few minor modifications (I can't stay up ALL night anymore, and I have more aches and pains than I did when I was 20 something) and I want to keep living that life until I'm in my 50s, at least. I want to be pretty and desirable, even if only in a MILF sort of way, or a Cougar sort of way ('pretty' as opposed to 'passable.' Whether I'll be able to pass or not is not quite as important to me - It's not like my transition is anything like a secret from most of my friends and coworkers. I just want to be 'read' as a pretty, feminine, youthful woman ... who happens to be a transgendered woman). Is that really a possibility for us late transitioners? Do any of you feel these things, regret for a young adulthood spent in the wrong gender, with missed opportunities to feel young and beautiful, or has life post transition really slain all of those regrets?

Quote from: BlindSeeress on July 09, 2014, 01:19:08 AM
As an open-question to anyone in the older-than-30-transitioning club: do you ever feel as though you wasted your youth? Like the chance to be young and hot and desirable is gone forever, or is all the hype about '30s are the new 20s, 50s are the new 30s' ... is any of that for real? Just had my 35th birthday, and I am feeling pretty blue. Weight is coming off, though slowly, and hair removal is progressing slower than I would like. I'd like to believe that when I get down to my goal weight and have a year of hormones behind me (36th birthday, hopefully) I'll look in the mirror and still see a beautiful and YOUTHFUL woman, because that's how I feel. I still live the life I lived in my 20s and early 30s, with a few minor modifications (I can't stay up ALL night anymore, and I have more aches and pains than I did when I was 20 something) and I want to keep living that life until I'm in my 50s, at least. I want to be pretty and desirable, even if only in a MILF sort of way, or a Cougar sort of way ('pretty' as opposed to 'passable.' Whether I'll be able to pass or not is not quite as important to me - It's not like my transition is anything like a secret from most of my friends and coworkers. I just want to be 'read' as a pretty, feminine, youthful woman ... who happens to be a transgendered woman). Is that really a possibility for us late transitioners? Do any of you feel these things, regret for a young adulthood spent in the wrong gender, with missed opportunities to feel young and beautiful, or has life post transition really slain all of those regrets?

A tricky question, but an interesting one and quite important for our age-group :). I would subscribe to a lot of what You said and say "yes!", but then again... and here we come to this old discussion of "transition while still being in Your teens/early 20-ties" vs. "transition while being slightly older".
For me, I sometimes wish things were different, but I know they would not have been any other way (not in that country and time), so all those wishes are kinda moot and rather fantasies of that sort of "what if...". At the same time, being who I am now, it was much easier - both financially, socially and even logistically to plan everything out and then start transition. Without that knowledge, background, social contacts - I would have been stuck in the very beginning, not knowing what to do.
And then again, age brings up more social responsibilities which are sometimes tested to their limits by hardships of transition - the amount of those social ties is much less in young age, but then again - some of that stuff is clearly social "luggage" which You feel is unnecessary now and would rather leave behind, but there is other part, which I would call a kind of blessing - knowing people for many years, maybe even decades, realising that they really dont care to which gender You belong (after the initial shock subsides of course) and staying by Your side.
As for Your comment about looking in the mirror and seeing someone who is feminine, graceful, pretty, maybe hot... hell yeah :). It is in our nature, engrained by genetics, hormones, whatever - does not matter :). Quite slowly (slower than for younger transitioners - which is another pro in their favour), but I see this happening eventually.
I am 36 now and I have had year of hormones behind me and believe me, even at our age we still can and do change.  It was quite a stunning experience and until 8-10 month mark not much did happen, but afterwards it just sort of all suddenly blossomed and "exploded" outwards. First kinda "male fail" was at 9 months, then some smaller fails or confusions here and there, and now, at times, I am being read female even when I am dressed in male (not andro) attire. When first contemplating "if I could do this" I kept looking in the mirror and all that I saw was quite depressive. Shoulders, neck, facial features, frame, bulk... What did help were those few YT videos of 30-35+ y.o. transitioners (which are not that many btw) where I finally found someone whose features pre-HRT resembled me a little bit, so I could kinda figure out what to expect and in which direction those changes could proceed. It was a huuuuuge boost of confidence and of course, I turned out to look different than she did, but... I am not complaining :). And the most ironic part is that when looking in the mirror - I see exactly those facial features which I always found strangely attractive in other women. In other words, I always had crushes on "my type of women".

I'm startet my transition with 35, now i'm 37 and a bit richer on experience. Live becomes optionless with a failed transition. A lot of (older) girls here really look pretty and i think satisfaction is partly defined by a good optical result. Youre looking in the mirror and feel this warmth around your heart ... i feel only pain and my tears running over my face. I never, never, never though to get such a result and this hopeless situation.

For me seeing videos of girls that transitioned in their 30s was an eye opener and gave me hope, until this point I thought it was too late for me.
My second moment was looking in the mirror with full makeup after learning about contouring, highlighting and all the other tricks that girls use, I moved back a bit and zoomed out, got a huge shock and then cried.
The third and final part will be different for everyone, I mentally prepared to loose everything, career, job, girlfriend, friends, family but so far I have not lost a single thing or person. That's not to say it can't/won't happen and I'm still prepared for that to happen but transitioning now is definitely easier than it was 10-15 years ago.

Lastly if you really want to see what you can look like with hormones, surgery, etc there is a great girl in the UK which does Virtual FFS photoshop images http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 09, 2014, 02:09:28 AM
What did help were those few YT videos of 30-35+ y.o. transitioners (which are not that many btw) where I finally found someone whose features pre-HRT resembled me a little bit, so I could kinda figure out what to expect and in which direction those changes could proceed.

Well looking at your avatar, I highly doubt you have any problem being passable.......

Quote from: GingerMaxim on July 09, 2014, 08:26:09 AM
Well looking at your avatar, I highly doubt you have any problem being passable.......

If you are referring to my avatar, I think I should include a no makeup no nothing image and one in between just to give a little perspective:

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/uFmppgQLsn5-zDHyocAQIOvi06jd_i74m5nvKfm9dkM=w198-h251-no)(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4RjhMm3dF7Y/U71syvlCQVI/AAAAAAAAAiI/YK2o4fZSpWM/w614-h818-no/Middle.jpg)(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Y84Iyyg6Gds/U6-vG4posgI/AAAAAAAAC0s/ZDpSNe2-s-I/w614-h818-no/20140629_021552.jpg)

Holy crap, Antonia. If I turned out half as lovely as you did, I'd be thrilled. When did you start?

I started my journey in January, came out as trans, started laser and growing my hair, I also changed my diet and started cycling 25km per day on average.

I've been on Androcur (Cyproterone Acetate) for about 5 weeks now and starting estrogen in a week, the rest is just makeup. I think most of us don't realize our potential and how much work cis-women put into maintaining their looks, with a bit of grooming and practise I think most of us can pass and look about 10 years younger than we are.

Most day's I don't put in as much work as that last photo but a little eye-liner and some mascara goes a long way.

I'm hoping in another 6 months I'll be able to pass without makeup/wig as my hair grows out and I stop having to worry about the beard shadow but that might be a bit optimistic, we'll see but in any case based on my experience transitioning in your 30s is perfectly doable.

Quote from: BlindSeeress on July 09, 2014, 03:08:08 PM
Holy crap, Antonia. If I turned out half as lovely as you did, I'd be thrilled. When did you start?

When ever I see you girls that pass without any makeup I get jealous and inpatient, come on HRT!

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 09, 2014, 03:28:50 PM
Antonia, You are looking cute (first pic - angry face :D) and really really young (totally not in 30-ties, lol).

Here's my timeline between May 2013 and about May or June (cannot remember when the last picture was taken).

Quote from: antonia on July 09, 2014, 03:31:53 PM
When ever I see you girls that pass without any makeup I get jealous and inpatient, come on HRT!

Hang on - You gonna get there too - and sooner than You think! I did not look half as good as You when I started :D. And btw, I dont really pass - sometimes I do, and then another time, nope, did not work.

Quote from: BlindSeeress on July 09, 2014, 01:19:08 AM
As an open-question to anyone in the older-than-30-transitioning club: do you ever feel as though you wasted your youth? Like the chance to be young and hot and desirable is gone forever, ...

Nope.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animetedstudios.com%2F5115%2Fimages%2Fgoodlookin.jpg&hash=2426e8f347f495e7472788f43040fb53a1da2373)
36 and I felt sexy! :)

You are looking really pretty!
When transition and HRT is running good, like in your case, it all is a really satisfaction. When it all failed, live becomes collection of questions. Question about goals, wastet youth, wastet time and hating yourself.

I've been posting on this thread but I actually turn 30 next month.  You all had better wish me happy birthday!!

Everyone in this thread is so awesome and inspirational to all of us near thirty or thirty something girls.

Well, I have been 32 for about 4 months so I will find out what it's like and tell you in about 5 years?? Just starting. Therapist knows, family doctor knows, closest friends know and I feel like I am a new person since coming to terms with myself.

I started transitioning at 30 and passed in three months, actually 73 days, so just because you're 30 doesn't mean a thing. I look like my avatar, mainly. Or that girl from halt and Catch Fire. Sometimes I look ugly though. My BF says it's so weird how one day I'll look sexy as anything and the next I'm all homely and not-as-passable. I seriously don't know why this happens, but my guess is that in the last couple months my HRT dose has been not-so-consistent due to finances. But that's all good now. And a very pretty woman who has come so far helped me get over that hump and I owe her the world. I won't say her name but she knows who she is and should know that she has come so far and really passes well. I don't just say things. If I didn't mean it; I wouldn't say it.

It's been really fun reading old posts from so many people who fretted about their transition but whose current avatars give them away as being happy, gorgeous, success stories ;D I'm 36 years old now about to start HRT a week before my 27th birthday ( #LadyMath :P )  and I'm nearly 6'3" tall. I certainly considered not transitioning... it would be easier on my public life and it would save me having to break my father's heart but I would just end up unhappy and drifting again. Anyway, so many inspiring stories here how can I not give myself the opportunity to be who I really want to be? I hope I turn out half as fabulous as y'all but if I don't ever reach the point of "passing," I'll be okay with that too.

Quote from: BlindSeeress on July 09, 2014, 01:19:08 AM
As an open-question to anyone in the older-than-30-transitioning club: do you ever feel as though you wasted your youth?

I'm sad that I never got to be the girl at prom. I even had my dress, shoes and hair picked out and everything. I mostly feel those pangs of regret where it concerns milestones like that. I try not to live in the past though because my life as a man was filled with plenty of happy memories, beautiful friends and family, and moments that existed outside gender bounds. In that way, I believe I owe the man I was the respect not to categorize his life as a "wasted youth." Instead I will consider those chapters of my story the setup to what should be an amazing second half.

Oh yeah, I had a big ol' cry over it a few times.  But really times where different- transition is easier now and where I lived I would have probably been beaten to a pulp.  Things turned out okay... and besides, I will be damned if I am growing old gracefully.

I do wish I was a teen transitioning now, so I could do my twenties again as a kick arse nerd grrrl.

Im sorry I'm 49 so should not reply but I needed to say I've never been happier that I can remember.  The hardest and unhappiest time of my life was fighting off the need to change.  No time like the present and ten years from now well.....you'll be 40.

Quote from: StevieAK on July 25, 2014, 02:31:08 AM
Im sorry I'm 49 so should not reply but I needed to say I've never been happier that I can remember.  The hardest and unhappiest time of my life was fighting off the need to change.  No time like the present and ten years from now well.....you'll be 40.

No way!  No one knows the 30s like someone who has been through it already.  Well...then again....40 is the new 30.

I wanted to pipe in and say im almost 29 and will be starting my journey real soon. Ill be sure to keep everyone up to date.

Side note the verification letters are hard for dyslexic peeps. :P

I just want to let you all know that you guys have given me the courage to start my HRTs. I'm probably getting my HRT letter tomorrow but have always been scare about starting in my 30s. I'm 32 and I just wanna say that every single one of you guys in this thread are brave and wonderful people! God love y'all for real.  :laugh: :)

For you girls in your 30's, piece of cake!  I tried to improve myself in my early 20's & failed, no $, lost job, etc..... Then again in my 30's, same story, second verse. Go for it GF's & improve your life now so you can enjoy being a complete woman soon, do not delay if you know inside that it's right for you. The process is much the same for all of us, but the younger the better & easier.  Good luck. 

Quote from: KabitTarah on December 01, 2013, 06:29:21 AM

It's not just about sanity. It's about life. I started this process (including coming out to myself and others) because my health was worsening and I couldn't fix it. I almost immediately lost 20 lbs by coming OOTC (that took a month). I'm at 45 lbs (though I gained a couple back from this Thanksgiving holiday :P) and have almost entirely reversed the diabetes (A1c from 7.5 to 5.9 in 4 months).

It's not just sanity... if I tried (and I would fail) to go back in the closet... I'd revert back to how I was before, but worse. I'd know who I was this time; I'd know I needed help; I'd know what help I needed. I wouldn't be able to get that help, for the "sake" of the family... and I'd destroy myself (slowly... but surely). Transition is my answer... and it isn't my fault or my wife's fault (though I do get blamed, often, of course).

Amen, going back in the closet would be the ultimate prision sentence of the heart and mind.  Insanity would quickly follow.  Not many options for us is there?  Transition or die a horrific internal death. 

Quote from: Adabelle on April 25, 2014, 10:56:22 PM
It makes me smile every single time I see a reply to this thread. I just turned 37 last month and am so glad I've been able to be me for 3 years now!

I'm 36 and have just finally started my journey and finding your thread Adabelle has given me so much inspiration and hope. It's been four months for me but I have never been happier. Your looking great too, I'm looking forward to everything transition and beyond has to offer, and most importantly Finally being me
Hugs Bree x

I just read this whole thread from beginning to end.  So inspiring!  And like someone else mentioned, it's been fun to read posts from people who were worried they'd never pass, while looking at their recent avatars that show they turned out to be beautiful women (especially Adabelle...dang!).

And regarding the question about lost youth -- The funny thing about me is that even when I was younger, I saw myself more as a middle-aged women than a girl that age.  It's sort of hard to explain.  But I feel like I'm really coming into myself now.  I don't want to be a trendy 22 year old.  I want to be a mid-30's soccer mom/career woman.  :)

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted in this thread!
It was so wonderful to read, and gave me such a great little 'pop' of hopeful energy!

I'm 31 and just starting my transition (starting HRT in less than a month, finally! Yay!), and it is so great to hear so many wonderful stories of others transitioning in their 30s.

I know its always a struggle for me to stay focus on the time ahead of me, and to not linger in regret about my wasted 20s, but there's so much life ahead still, and now I can see what terrific company I'm in, which makes it all the easier!

Giselle Marie

40s is the new 30s so that means I'm transitioning in my 30s! Thanks for helping me take 10 years off the calendar ;)

I started HRT at 32, and at 36 I had my SRS.

Yeah, I did not find not many of my age. But starting in your 30ies is fine. Any age is fine. Because everyone is different..

35. I'll take it.  ;D

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi10.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa113%2Fanchoryanker%2Fb4aftr_zpsd5d790b4.jpg&hash=e48ac531479fb09993dc2eaa4e135b5b9b11b7d0)

Quote from: ErinS on November 22, 2014, 02:37:53 AM
35. I'll take it.  ;D

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi10.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa113%2Fanchoryanker%2Fb4aftr_zpsd5d790b4.jpg&hash=e48ac531479fb09993dc2eaa4e135b5b9b11b7d0)

Wow, you look amazing!

Quote from: ErinS on November 22, 2014, 02:37:53 AM
35. I'll take it.  ;D

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi10.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa113%2Fanchoryanker%2Fb4aftr_zpsd5d790b4.jpg&hash=e48ac531479fb09993dc2eaa4e135b5b9b11b7d0)

Amazing! :)

I started HRT when I was 39, and it has been one year now.  I was warned as well that the results this late might not be as good, but I have found the opposite to be true.  It has been very affective, and things will still continue to change.  At work today, where I am not out, I even got a compliment that I looked younger.  Which is something I have noticed as well.  For me, it is a busy time in life especially career wise, and I think that makes it harder to be active in the community.  Maybe that is why stories of people in their thirties are less common.  It's the reason for me why I put off signing up here.  The balance of life, career and transition is a tricky one, but worth it and the results can be very good.
Jessica

Well add me to the over 30 crowd. I'm 36 and I'm just started with HRT.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I started at 36 too, had SRS at 38 and it's all good :)

32 here starting HRT within a few months!!

What can tell my about the change of duration of the hormone effects starting after the age of 30?
Normal ranges (i think for younger TS) are listet below. I'm still waiting for a few things, some things like thinning of bodyhairs starts first after 1,5 years.
Whats your experience?

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fopenmindedhealth.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F09%2FScreen-Shot-2013-09-10-at-7.19.11-AM.png&hash=044af96897a31baaba8e5ead83cd1a16ecdc06ab)

I have not reached the maximum effect times yet, but for me the expected onset, was either in the ranges listed on the table, or less.

Jessica

Galaxy, I started at 32 and I'd say that was all accurate for me, although the body fat redistribution is still going on so I think the "end date" on some of those may be a bit optimistic.

(Oh, I never had any reduction of testicular mass at all, though. No change whatsoever right up until I had them removed, and although spontaneous erections vanished, function remained [unfortunately] up to the end as well.)

You mean it has nothing to do with the age?
Why do i have no fat distribution? A half inch more on the hips  :embarrassed:

Quote from: Misato on July 09, 2014, 10:24:23 PM
Nope.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animetedstudios.com%2F5115%2Fimages%2Fgoodlookin.jpg&hash=2426e8f347f495e7472788f43040fb53a1da2373)
36 and I felt sexy! :)

Your pictures are...mind-boggling to me. I now feel completely confident I could not only pass, but look fabulous. I see so many facial similarities between mine and yours that...well...I at least have one anxiety disappearing right now.

Please accept my thanks Misato. You give me hope at a similar age.

If I may, how far along are you when you posted these?

Any advice?

I'm 32 almost 33 and just started almost 2 weeks ago. I had an ex girlfriend that insisted I grow a beard because I looked way to feminine with long hair. I'm hoping that will work to my advantage, but that was also 14 years ago.

Well I am going to turn 32 in a few months and starting to really lean on starting HRT by the time on 33-35.  All depends on if I can get life in line to support myself as a woman...

For me it seems like the time in life to really figure out whats to be done about it.  Any younger than I am now I wouldnt have been mature enough or as knowledgeable about myself.  Thats just me though... 

::)

Love this thread (so much I just went through all 20 pages). I'm 37 and would like to start HRT asap. Like so many girls here, I have had a lot of anxiety about whether my age will be a wet blanket on the possibility of the changes I'd like the big E to induce. It's really reassuring to see that there's hope for me. Sure, there's no guarantee and, like natal girls, it's a roll of the dice what your body decides it's going to do, but it's nice to hope.

But the way I see it is -- I already lost the dice roll when the X chromosomes were distributed, so I'm due now, right? :P

Yes you ARE!  :angel:

Do not fret, 37 is not old. Even with the amount of crap I have to deal with early on in this transition, I have never felt more alive, myself, energetic, or upbeat, even in the midst of down and blue days.

If everything in your life is telling you to go for it, girl, go for it!

Very inspiring thread for some one in mid 30's who have hard time be a bealiving could pass ever and just started this path very afraid, biggest fear is broke parents hearts, career options, and friend opinion, but at the same time hoping I could be, and dress the way I imagine my self in the mirror.

32, just beginning,  just read the whole thread and book marked it. so so inspirational.

I am 30 going on 31, started when I was 28. I too feared that it might be too late to see a good result, but many people here showed me that there really is nothing to worry about.

What I learned most (from people here as well as firsthand experience) is that you get out of transition what you put into it. The first year of transition was like bootcamp for me. It seemed like I was learning something new every day, and my brain was like a sponge. I think I tried about everything under the sun, and the result of finding what worked for me made me incredibly happy and brought a feeling of accomplishment/resolve. Then I did a little bit of FFS when I turned 30 to seal the deal, and the second year has been smooth sailing to the point where most days I forget that I am even trans. I am recently decided non-op, too, by the way, fwiw.

I feel like I am still transitioning, my style is continuing to evolve- as well as my mindset. I have accepted myself as well as my trans status. I am comfortable with everything, and there is no feeling of dysphoria that holds me back anymore.

Age is only a barrier if you believe it to be so. What really matters is what you realistically want out of transition and to have a can-do attitude along the way. Chances are you will discover things that you once thought "not possible". The mind really can shape the body.

These are words, when transition is working good, Jenny ... sorry!
I put 500% into my tranistion and get about 20% out ... i lost so much time, nerves and money. Thats unbelievable. 10 years of having a company eats less time and nerves than two years transition. And nothing worth it. My body is still 100% masculine and this is the result after 2 years. I switched to injections now and nothing is happen. Nothing.

Not everyone has luck and gets good, feminine results.
Its a game - and there are losers and winners.

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 24, 2015, 01:01:11 PM
I am 30 going on 31, started when I was 28. I too feared that it might be too late to see a good result, but many people here showed me that there really is nothing to worry about.

What I learned most (from people here as well as firsthand experience) is that you get out of transition what you put into it. The first year of transition was like bootcamp for me. It seemed like I was learning something new every day, and my brain was like a sponge. I think I tried about everything under the sun, and the result of finding what worked for me made me incredibly happy and brought a feeling of accomplishment/resolve. Then I did a little bit of FFS when I turned 30 to seal the deal, and the second year has been smooth sailing to the point where most days I forget that I am even trans. I am recently decided non-op, too, by the way, fwiw.

I feel like I am still transitioning, my style is continuing to evolve- as well as my mindset. I have accepted myself as well as my trans status. I am comfortable with everything, and there is no feeling of dysphoria that holds me back anymore.

Age is only a barrier if you believe it to be so. What really matters is what you realistically want out of transition and to have a can-do attitude along the way. Chances are you will discover things that you once thought "not possible". The mind really can shape the body.

This is what I hope to have happen for me - full boot camp type deal I put myself through, hopefully with the help of a few key mentor type friendships both in cis and trans worlds.

I know there is a lot of work ahead, and I actually want to get to it. The engineer in me requires order structure and a plan first. Thankfully, I am happy to improve when that inevitably blows up. ;p

I do want to keep this thread bumped though. Misato and jennygirl are what singlehandedly made me stop fearing passability if you are committed to time and work...and hopefully someone else can be inspired the same Knowing we not quite middle agers are able to work almost as wonderfully as the younguns, since we have access to more resources to balance their youth.

After a year hrt no real fat distribution change for me and complete baldness over 15 years before hrt. So I will never have 24/7 experience since I have to use wigs. Then again with changes to my facial bone structure through surgery with my wig on I might pass even though hrt itself barely did anything for me except kill my sex drive and give me small tits. I'm using my local national sex change commitee to go through the process of getting tracheal shave and ffs paid for me. It's not 24/7 but it could at least work for the few hours a day I can wear a wig without itching and is not dependent on hrt.

My belly has always been the primary fat storage place and the only way I can handle it so far is to be ridiculously skinny and the only time I get noticeable curves is when I'm flexing my stomach muscles. You can see my ribcage bones but the belly is still out there masking the waist curves.

In my experience fat-distribution only take place on a few of us "30's". I would say around 10-15%. I know a lot, lot transwomen passed the 30 but there are only a few with a feminine body structure formed by fat distribution and the right muscles. The may look like woman in the face but the body is still masculine in much cases.

I'm late thirties and done almost entirely with non-professional transition and am about 1 year into HRT. I haven't been misgendered once - and that includes our home city and trips to CA and NYC.  I've had a few stares but I can count them on one hand. I'm also over 6 feet tall.  There is a genetic lottery aspect for sure but also will power, determination and your approach.  My ace in the hole is a spouse that is happy to go along for a wild ride which makes acceptance from others easier and also gives me a daily built in style guide, best friend and almost big sister type help.  I won't ever say it's just hard work, luck and circumstance play a role too but we have to play with the cards we have and self acceptance is the biggest factor you control.  From there, most of the rest is external and that is so much easier to deal with than the internal - at least so far it has been with me.  Hardest external part for me has been the disruption with my family of origin and the complexities of a professional transition about to begin.

Quote from: BunnyBee on November 08, 2010, 10:02:17 PM
I started HRT two years ago at age 32.  So many factors go into the success of a transition it would make your head spin.  Age is just one of them.  Many older transitioners do very well, some of the younger ones really struggle, and vice versa.  Most of the 30-ish transitioners I've encountered have come through it pretty well, but that is completely anecdotal.  I am sure we have similar rates of success as the other age groups.

I have posted loads of pics of myself on susans before, but I don't know where or if they even still exist lol.  I posted some recent ones at this link (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,35756.msg620359.html#msg620359) for ya.  There have been significant physical changes, tho much less than I would prefer.  Hormones have had more of an effect on my mood than anything else.  I am happy and glad to be alive, something I couldn't have imagined saying a few years ago.

Interesting... Hello me from 4 years ago lol.  Maybe it would be fun for me to give an update?

So i'm 38 now.  Sometimes I still do think hrt has had no affect on my face, but from certain angles you can really see it drastically, and though I didn't say so in the post above, there had been significant changes to my face by 1.5 years (when I wrote the abv) for goodness sakes, really 1 month in you could start to see it. (I have photo evidence of this :) ).

Besides my face I have seen significant changes to my skin and body hair, both have become 100% ish female I would say.  Body fat redistribution has come very slowly however, but has actually been ramping up in the last year or so—this is like year 6 for me.  I now have a little bit of a shape, not much but a little.  My boobs finally have started coming in, but they're small.  I am sure I will need BA if I ever want to feel normal in that area. Body fat is the area where I feel I have been punished for starting a lil late.

The biggest affect by far has been on my mind.  My mood is 1000% improved, but it's more than just that.  I honestly feel like a different person with the way my mind works and the things I care about and all of that.

I'm trying to think of anything else that might be interesting.  My sexuality has definitely shifted.  i started out mostly asexual but female attracted-leaning, then became more male-attracted leaning, and now i would say I am clearly hetero, but still not sure how motivated by sex I am.

Time goes by and my real world problems get less trans related and more womanhood related, like how I am treated on the train for instance is not always too pleasant.  The way men treat me in general.  Idk.  My trans struggles mostly occur in my head.

All in all, I am mostly happy with how I look and I have some friends that started at a similar age and they are doing fine too.  It won't be that way for everybody, but take heart that you have good chances starting in your thirties.

As I recall, a lot of pictures in this thread show women getting great curves and fat redistribution on the body... I certainly did, and still am. I'm actually kind of amazed that at 5 years on HRT (next month!) I'm still seeing changes; my thighs and butt are continuing to get bigger, and my waist is a bit more defined, versus a year ago.

I started with a pants size of about 12 and am now a 16-18 - yeah, not thrilled about the "not skinny" aspect of it, but at least it's all in the butt and hips. :)

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 24, 2015, 01:01:11 PM
  I am recently decided non-op, too, by the way, fwiw.

  Good for you!  I think this choice needs to receive strong commendation and recognition when it is the right thing for the individual.  Your decision should help a lot of people become more comfortable going this route.  It may very well be my path also.  Too bad we won't be seeing you 'north of the border', as I had been quite looking forward to that.  You're always welcome here!

Yeah i started taking HRT at 33 years old I am soon to be on hormones for 7 months. Soon it will be a year.

:o

OMG i can't believe i'm a little over halfway in a year.

I plan on going all the way to SRS.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on January 27, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
As I recall, a lot of pictures in this thread show women getting great curves and fat redistribution on the body... I certainly did, and still am. I'm actually kind of amazed that at 5 years on HRT (next month!) I'm still seeing changes; my thighs and butt are continuing to get bigger, and my waist is a bit more defined, versus a year ago.

I started with a pants size of about 12 and am now a 16-18 - yeah, not thrilled about the "not skinny" aspect of it, but at least it's all in the butt and hips. :)

Totally.  Some people will be lucky in that dept.  I just feel my personal results in that area would have been better if I started earlier.  I am otherwise basically very happy with how it all has gone though.

Quote from: Violet Bloom on January 27, 2015, 11:43:42 AM
  Good for you!  I think this choice needs to receive strong commendation and recognition when it is the right thing for the individual.  Your decision should help a lot of people become more comfortable going this route.  It may very well be my path also.  Too bad we won't be seeing you 'north of the border', as I had been quite looking forward to that.  You're always welcome here!

Aw you are a sweetie pie :D Thank you

I definitely want to visit there regardless, except now it will be purely for vacation! Even better!

I do hope that my non-op decision helps others feel more comfortable about taking their own route. There seem to be quite a few expectations when it comes to the "classic" transition, SRS being a big one that I've felt. I just feel fortunate to have found this out about myself when I did (right after a stage where I was totally sure I did want it). However, I am sure that I would have made the most of it had I followed through with SRS as well :) I still think if new methods come along later in life, I might give it another evaluation. I realize that my needs and preferences are ever-evolving, and that how I feel right now may be totally different 60 seconds in the future... let alone 5, 10, or 20 years.

Despite the risks I have taken, I have been blessed to live a life with little to no regret. I hope to stay on that track. It involves not doing things just because someone tells me I should and really evaluating and reevaluating a plan of action for myself and myself alone. After all it is me who has to live this life, not somebody else.

Life is about problem solving. For those of us who transition a little later than ideal for the multitude of bodily changes that we may want, it is just a different set of problems that we face. Transitioning earlier also has its set of problems as others have mentioned in this thread. It's all a matter of how you handle the issues and if you can remember to listen to your evolving needs along the way.

Transition in a way reminds me of tuning a guitar that is very out of tune. You would think that you can just tune from one string to the next (just once), but the reality is that by tuning the later strings it changes the tension on the first strings- slightly knocking them out of tune again. This requires you to go back and retune the first strings again. It's important to go back and rethink the initial transitional plan, because as we change and evolve through transition (as well as get older) our needs may require further attention/re-tuning down the line to achieve the same resulting desire for a self deemed successful transition.

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 28, 2015, 03:42:38 AM
Aw you are a sweetie pie :D Thank you

I definitely want to visit there regardless, except now it will be purely for vacation! Even better!

Soooooo much more relaxing, to be sure, and way more ability to actually do anything.  Plus, now you can go anywhere whether it be Montreal, or Toronto... ( ;) ;) )

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 28, 2015, 03:42:38 AM
I do hope that my non-op decision helps others feel more comfortable about taking their own route. There seem to be quite a few expectations when it comes to the "classic" transition, SRS being a big one that I've felt. I just feel fortunate to have found this out about myself when I did (right after a stage where I was totally sure I did want it). However, I am sure that I would have made the most of it had I followed through with SRS as well :) I still think if new methods come along later in life, I might give it another evaluation. I realize that my needs and preferences are ever-evolving, and that how I feel right now may be totally different 60 seconds in the future... let alone 5, 10, or 20 years.

Despite the risks I have taken, I have been blessed to live a life with little to no regret. I hope to stay on that track. It involves not doing things just because someone tells me I should and really evaluating and reevaluating a plan of action for myself and myself alone. After all it is me who has to live this life, not somebody else.

Life is about problem solving. For those of us who transition a little later than ideal for the multitude of bodily changes that we may want, it is just a different set of problems that we face. Transitioning earlier also has its set of problems as others have mentioned in this thread. It's all a matter of how you handle the issues and if you can remember to listen to your evolving needs along the way.

I must say, what you said 'strikes a chord' with my own feelings so well.  You could have read my mind!  My transition has continuously been one of personal discovery and reassessment, including my sentiments regarding SRS.  I know that whatever I decide and whenever, it will feel matter-o-fact when the time comes.  FFS used to scare the crap out of me but now I'm committing to have it this year without any doubts.  My transition will not be complete after that but I will go full-time without feeling any further personal pressure to hurry things along any more.  Within the next ten years I might still elect to have SRS but I no-longer consider it a necessary milestone to reach before I can move on with my life.  (Having finally successfully gone swimming in a women's bathing suit for the first time, I'm far more optimistic about my situation than I was before.)

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 28, 2015, 03:42:38 AM
Transition in a way reminds me of tuning a guitar that is very out of tune. You would think that you can just tune from one string to the next (just once), but the reality is that by tuning the later strings it changes the tension on the first strings- slightly knocking them out of tune again. This requires you to go back and retune the first strings again. It's important to go back and rethink the initial transitional plan, because as we change and evolve through transition (as well as get older) our needs may require further attention/re-tuning down the line to achieve the same resulting desire for a self deemed successful transition.

I know exactly what you mean about guitars.  It reminded me of the really cheap kids versions which are virtually impossible to tune and then never sound right from chord-to-chord anyway :P.  It's been a very long time since I regularly played but I could still quickly tune one by ear without any trouble.

I have weighed the SRS/non-op question in my mind. I am scared of invasive surgery and pain. I have to manage diabetes and high blood pressure, so some surgeons have extra caution for that. I am not "bad" thankfully and I manage my health but one wrong move and it could be misery.

Anyway, Jenny's non-op decision sorta had me thinking as well. But I think I will still be sticking to my plan, which is to live as a woman for at least 2-3 years then decide whether to have SRS. And as Jenny said, there may be better options down the road, especially with stem cells and similar. But I'm in no hurry. I am still married after all, but if she decides to end it then that may push me in the direction of SRS. Because let's face it, I'm finding myself attracted to men now more and more. But I really don't want to have a relationship as a non-op and I have dreamed of making love fully as a woman all my life. There is also freedom from tucking and freedom from Spironolactone and zero chance of detransition if somehow my HRT becomes unavailable. But I don't plan to leave. Despite our disagreements, I love her a lot and I love our kids.

As for the practical aspects, there is dilation which scares me to death. Complications like fistulas scare me to death too. Then there is pain and recovery... and then whether to have the surgery in the US, Canada or Thailand. I really wanted to go to Thailand but I don't think I could take 30 days off. I really wish there was a surgery that didn't involve dilation (that isn't a "cosmetic vagina").

Well, I still got time.

And I'm enjoying emerging from and leaving my old self behind. I really enjoy going out as myself now, but it has come to the point of being just... normal, which is kind of weird. I can't wait to come out at work and finally go full-time, and finally live.

I am especially glad that lawmakers are "getting it" and realizing that surgery is not necessary for changing gender legally. I am going to change everything when I get my name change, right down to my naturalization certificate. This way I can be "legal" in all 50 states. My birth certificate will still have the error on it, but I'll fight for change in the laws in that country too. One day they'll stop listening to the religious fundamentalists and come around.

This morning something weird happened.

I was going to work. I usually dress femme underneath (cause I'm not out at work) and wear a fleece and men's coat above it.

When I was walking in the bus station parking lot I saw my shadow, and it looked like a woman's... Wait a minute, that couldn't be me? I stopped. The shadow stopped. Uh, yeah it is! I know I'm taking shape but it's weird to see it everywhere I go. I'll have to stop hiding soon.

BunnyBee : That's true, we'll never know what might have happened if we'd started younger... I'm glad you're happy overall, at least.

Kate : I'm not arguing that anyone should have GRS (it's an intensely personal decision and there's no right or wrong to it except what a person wants for themselves), but I will say that I was terrified of many of those things too - and they mostly turned out to be nonissues. The surgeon explained that it's not as invasive a procedure as it sounds, because the abdominal cavity is never breached; the pain was well-managed and not severe, and I was off all pain meds but Tylenol by day 3. The recovery featured primarily exhaustion, since within a couple weeks I could do almost anything I did before (except bike riding and sitting on hard surfaces!) for at least short periods. Dilation was annoying and boring, but not terrible, and now I'm down to 15 minutes once a week or less.  It's hard to explain, but I was scared of dilation until I *had* a vagina, because I just could not imagine or envision what sticking something in there would be like. But once I did, and did it for the first time, it was no big deal.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on January 28, 2015, 12:01:30 PM
Kate : I'm not arguing that anyone should have GRS (it's an intensely personal decision and there's no right or wrong to it except what a person wants for themselves), but I will say that I was terrified of many of those things too - and they mostly turned out to be nonissues. The surgeon explained that it's not as invasive a procedure as it sounds, because the abdominal cavity is never breached; the pain was well-managed and not severe, and I was off all pain meds but Tylenol by day 3. The recovery featured primarily exhaustion, since within a couple weeks I could do almost anything I did before (except bike riding and sitting on hard surfaces!) for at least short periods. Dilation was annoying and boring, but not terrible, and now I'm down to 15 minutes once a week or less.  It's hard to explain, but I was scared of dilation until I *had* a vagina, because I just could not imagine or envision what sticking something in there would be like. But once I did, and did it for the first time, it was no big deal.

Jenna, I hear you and to be honest it matches everything I've been hearing. But I'm still scared. Anyway I will overcome my fear sooner or later. I feel I am headed in the SRS direction anyway but I'm certainly in no rush. As I said there are a couple of things that would tip the scales in my favor, but another major one is if my birth country allows change of sex on birth certificates but requires surgery to do so. I would bite the bullet and do it then, because then I truly would be "complete" on paper and in reality. I doubt they'd be as progressive as some US states that just require a therapist letter or a form filled out.

Kate : Fair enough, and hey, if you do overcome it you'll be one up on me. ;) I was scared up until the minute I went under! That also makes sense about the birth certificates; I sympathize completely, as I was born in one of the US states that requires GRS. (Annoyingly, I was born there, but I only *lived* there for the first two years of my life.)

In my opinion transition is a game - you can have luck or you can't. And after passing the 30s the luck runs more and more low. Here in germany i know a lot of women havent such good results as here in the board. And good results are the base for a better life after transition. If you doesnt reach your goals you change one package of problems with another only. Doesnt have any body results is hard to handle ... how do you style your thin and flat mans-hair every day to look like a woman - i'm no magician - its simply unpossible. People told my estrogen will make it better, thicker ... *lol* ... same with the fat distribution. Its hard to find woman-clothes for a man-shaped-body. Ive no hips and a wide waist with that applelike fat-distribution. Theres no jeans and no shirt when you want to have skinny clothes. I dont buy any swimsuites or bikinis - it looks terribile - its summer in a few month and i cant go swimming or something else like that.

In short: everytime i do need a feminine body i'm out of game. I'm so ashamed of myself. In the face i'm looking a bit like a woman and my body is a ordinary "man". Ive no breast growth, muscle like a man, fat like a man, ... and believe me thats a real bad fate. I'm 2 years now on HRT, now on injections - maybe we doing something wrong with my doctor or my gens not able to work with estrogens. I dont know. I only know my life isnt become much better with the transtion. I lost a lot of old problems, but got a lot more of new. I really wish things would run better.

Regarding the SRS/non-op issue: It's such a serious surgery, with such unpredictable results. I don't think it should be considered the default option. I decided at the outset that I can tolerate my penis as long as my testes are gone. If you don't need it gone, consider sparing yourself dangerous surgery.

As for transitioning in my 30's, yes I wish I started earlier, but I don't think I started too late. I'm lucky that I'm very small, and I have delicate features. I'll need a bit of facial work, but I think I'll be happy when I'm finished.

Quote from: galaxy on January 28, 2015, 04:20:44 PM
how do you style your thin and flat mans-hair every day to look like a woman - i'm no magician - its simply unpossible. People told my estrogen will make it better, thicker ... *lol* ... same with the fat distribution.

I've got another bleak truth that has a bright side to it. While we obsess over these things most people don't notice if we wear the right things.

For the hair, you could always go my route - I decided to shave it completely and wear human hair wigs. People rarely ever spot them being wigs. I don't remember the last time anyone spotted a wig without me telling them.

For the fat distribution, body wise... again, people don't really look that much. I wear a tight woman fit t-shirt and tight pants. The shirts themselves aren't really tight on my body. They have this additional curve they add at the bottom that I don't have. Sometimes I will try to wear something that shows my belly and people will frown upon it or say nothing like it's embarassing. People don't want to see our bodies. They are used to having them hidden anyway, and you can hide them behind clothes that make your body shape look feminine enough.

As for face fat distribution, there are of course limits to this in most cases, but they can be overcome with surgery.

As for eating a lot due to hormone urges - I might be the only one with the "will of steel" to do it, but I eat whole plant foods only - fruits, vegetables, legumes, seeds and nuts, and it works great to control my weight while eating as much as I want, and recently I've found myself not wanting to eat as much anymore either since I eat nothing addictive and I'm actually satiated for the first time in my life

So to conclude even in the worst case scenario, you can fix your hair to pass with others, you can fix your body shape to pass with others via clothes, you can fix your face with surgery and if a big belly from eating all the time is a problem you can eat the right nutrition that lets you eat all the time while losing it.

It won't give 24/7 experience because of the hair and seeing your body shape naked in the mirror still looking at best like a skinny guy. But you're the only one who has to look at yourself naked in the mirror. That's important too, but I'm not claiming what's impossible.

You can have something "horribly" male to work with and still get something *half* decently female out of it with enough work looking for decent human hair wigs (I buy mine custom from aliexpress) and some work on nutrition to get yourself to the "skinny bald man template" state to be a "blank canvas" over which you can use the wig and clothes to paint over, and once you combine these with FFS, even if the hormones themselves did nothing, you will pass with all these elements IMO with others, and look like some weird man-woman naked in the mirror. That's probably what's going to happen to me.

Quote from: Ruth Ruthless on January 29, 2015, 02:15:18 AM

So to conclude even in the worst case scenario, you can fix your hair to pass with others, you can fix your body shape to pass with others via clothes, you can fix your face with surgery and if a big belly from eating all the time is a problem you can eat the right nutrition that lets you eat all the time while losing it.

Thats the point. It cant be the sense of my "new life" to always fix some things of my body. The goal was to live and not to fix. My weight is 122lbs at a height of 1,70m ... so i dont think that i need to lose weight. Ive no real belly, i have a athletic body ... but its sporty, not feminine. I reduced my excerises since 2 years to minimum, but nothing happens. I still see muscles on the belly, on my legs, arms, chest ... its still sporty and masculine. In my old live a had the dreams which transition in the new has destroyed.

And yes, i wish i had began 10 years earlier, better 15 years. For me it was too late.

Doesn't sound to me like you need to lose weight either. About the muscles if they aren't big ones they aren't going to ruin the empty canvas. Can still wear clothes over them and people won't see it as long as all the other elements are there.

In all honesty I personally think you look better than most CIS women.

The image many of us have in our head is unrealistic and unobtainable for 90% of the CIS population, yes there are a handful of trans girls that look stunning and can model in magazines just like there are a handful of CIS girls that can do that.

Unfortunately we don't see 90% of the people in the world as we walk around because they are "unremarkable", you are judging yourself and comparing to the other top 10%

Also keep in mind that beauty and ideal body shape is a very subjective thing, most curvy girls would kill for a sporty toned body.

If you want a curvy body you can put on weigh but like with 90% of girls it's all going to go to the wrong places, when I came out to my sister she told me that If I put on weight it would all go to my belly, nothing to my hips, butt or breasts cause that's her experience.

Do a simple test, if you work in a standard office or a place where there is a good mixture of people look around you at the girls, then count the number of girls you would do a body swap with and the number you would not and see where you think you rate.

Quote from: galaxy on January 29, 2015, 06:54:13 AM
Thats the point. It cant be the sense of my "new life" to always fix some things of my body. The goal was to live and not to fix. My weight is 122lbs at a height of 1,70m ... so i dont think that i need to lose weight. Ive no real belly, i have a athletic body ... but its sporty, not feminine. I reduced my excerises since 2 years to minimum, but nothing happens. I still see muscles on the belly, on my legs, arms, chest ... its still sporty and masculine. In my old live a had the dreams which transition in the new has destroyed.

And yes, i wish i had began 10 years earlier, better 15 years. For me it was too late.

My mom is over 60 and looks more feminine than me - has more curves ... my sister too, all of my cis-friends. Ive a typical man body and all that things should be changed by the hormones didnt change over all the time. It has nothing to do with a image of a model ... i only want to be a simple woman and a body that reminds people on a woman - not a man. Thats a huge, huge different.

Just to be clear, you'd be fine with:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgscafe.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2Ffashion-tips-for-plus-size-women.jpg&hash=4d5aeac023efcd2c054cdcc93c93735735274713)

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/35/f3/59/35f3593d8cf3e5ce89694fc2f7718ed5.jpg)

Cause that's what normal women look like.

Believe me that I understand where you are coming from, I wish I had curves and and hourglass figure but most women do not have an hourglass figure or C cup breasts. They work with what they have and use clothing and shape-wear to change their appearance.

I don't know what you were expecting or reading but bone structure does not change on hormones unless you start taking them before the age of 20, from the sound of it you are active and don't have a lot of fat on your body so where would the curves come from?

Hormones are not magic pills that will fix everything, just like normal girls we have to deal with the cards we were dealt and the genes we got, most will never be happy with their bodies regardless of the chromosomes we have.

Quote from: galaxy on January 29, 2015, 10:52:44 AM
My mom is over 60 and looks more feminine than me - has more curves ... my sister too, all of my cis-friends. Ive a typical man body and all that things should be changed by the hormones didnt change over all the time. It has nothing to do with a image of a model ... i only want to be a simple woman and a body that reminds people on a woman - not a man. Thats a huge, huge different.

Kate, I never even thought about needing to get my Mexican birth certificate changed.  It's hand written in Spanish, so anytime I've needed a birth certificate I've always used my US Certificate of Birth Abroad (which should be easy to change).  Do you actually need to change the original, or is it just a matter of wanting to have it done.



Galaxy, welcome to being a girl.  Our beauty culture teaches girls from very early age to nitpick the things they don't like about themselves.  We as trans women have larger obstacles to overcome, but I agree with everyone else that it helps to come to an acceptance of our situation and to work with what we've got.  Women use fashion and makeup to mask their flaws.  For them it's about feeling/looking cute...for us it's about passing first and then hopefully looking/feeling cute.

After 2 years of HRT, you don't have any breast growth?  Have you tried progesterone?  My understanding is that docs will often bring that into the mix later on to encourage development if estrogen hasn't done enough.

Have you thought about trying to gain some weight?  At your height and only 122lbs it sounds like you probably don't have much fat to be distributed anywhere.  Another 15-20lbs could make a real difference, especially after being on HRT so long your body would probably put it in the right places.  And you'd still be reasonably thin.

I have a cis friend who's 6 feet tall and 130 pounds; no curves to speak of, barely-A breasts. (She tries like crazy to gain weight but her metabolism just doesn't allow it.) She's athletic and muscular and - clearly - very skinny. There are times when she's very unhappy with her body, since it turns out that a body like a supermodel doesn't do a woman any favors when she's got an average face and is out and about among people who expect women to have some curves. And she actually does take the advice to dress in a way that flatters the body she has; she wears shirts that accentuate and enhance her bosom and skirts that give the illusion of hips and shoes that show off her long legs, etc. Yet she takes for granted that she'll be perceived as a woman, and for the most part she is.

Basically, not even cis women all win the genetic lottery at having "feminine" bodies. Yeah, it sucks harder to be trans and be built like that (and I agree that some extra weight might help, even if all it does is add some general padding over bones), but the thing is that it's definitely still possible to be seen as a woman with enough other cues.

Jenna, at least said cis woman probably has a passing female face and a full set of female looking hair and therefore has no trouble being identified as female despite her figure. I also naturally have that kind of figure except I have no hair and no female face. I will have to go through ffs and tracheal shave and assuming they do the job you could still spot my wig if you try and I can't wear it for very long and might not pass without it even with the surgery. So there is indeed cause to envy cis girls and as for gaining weight it doesn't help. It just goes to the belly and doesn't make me more feminine. So I agree can at least pass one day some of the time at great cost one day if the surgery works but only part time. I will never know what it feels to always be seen by others and myself to have the body of a woman and yes I have other things others don't have. Would I take a fatter cis body over mine? If you keep my mind as is then yes because I eat well enough to melt the fat off any body with time.

Ruth, I think you and Galaxy both are too hard on yourselves (though I know we're our own harshest critics, I am too). In photos of your faces, you both look absolutely female. You both have very stark, dramatic bone structure - I envy that - but unequivocally femininely so.

(I thought you'd said people very rarely notice it's a wig unless you tell them, but it's true that that's an issue too.)

I do my best picture with best angle lighting and makeup I can pull off. In the street nobody ever refers to me female. All male. My gf is the only exception.

Quote from: Ruth Ruthless on January 29, 2015, 12:56:25 PM
I eat well enough to melt the fat off any body with time.

So then why complain about not having curves?  Yes, our skeletal structure doesn't help, but most of what gives women their curves is fat.

I totally understand being jealous of cis women to a certain degree.  We all probably are, but then again I'm also jealous of trans women who still have a full head of hair.  But I've decided that I'm done feeling sorry for myself and being depressed about it.  I can work on the things that are within my power to change and try to learn to live with the things that aren't. 

I don't have enough hair on top to be worth growing it out.  So for now it's finasteride, HRT, minoxodil, and a wig until I can do hair transplants.  However, I can't do anything to change the size of my ribcage.  I'm a size 16 up top and size 12 on bottom.  Most dresses don't look good on me, so I tend to stick with skirts and tops and stay away from skinny jeans. 

I am doing what I can and I imagine I will be able to pass at least part time. But even after going through ffs and ts one day and passing part time, every day when I have to take off the wig it will make me feel like I'm putting on a costume to wear my womanhood while the cis woman gets to wear her womanhood all the time. And as for curves skinny woman have curves too and sure I'm fine not having curves if I get to have a passing female face and hair.

Its a bit hard for me to explain all me thoughts and feelings in english ...

First of all, nearly every cis-woman's body looks feminine. It has nothing to do with 90-60-90 or with overweight, beeing athletic or something like that. Its only something with the shape and this shapes and structures make a body looking masculine or feminine. I dont know if you understand me ... its a "teamplay" of muscle -structures, skinfat and fat distribution - these 3 componentes makes a body looking masculine/feminine. The bones, hips will give a basic shape - but important is what is coming over the bones!!!

So, as far as i know hormones will change these 3 compontents of muscles, fat and skin(-fat) ... and for my imagination things should looking feminine after some time. Why doesnt it happen to me? Thats my question. Is it only game with your genes. Say your genes to the hormones: No, no ... in these body you can be lazy. We are the genes and say so - it wont work for our master ???  I cant believe that hormones decide not to react with some other molecules of the body.

And ... hormones cant fix all your problems. Yes, but i expect after having a medical therapy that it will fix only some of my problems. But HRT didnt do so far. I guess all my "effects" came from my antiandrogens - less bodyhair, i lost my acne, softening of the skin ... but thats all. I had no breast growth even with progesterone, no fat distribution, no fuller face, no feminine muscel structure ... estrogens done nothing since that 2 years of HRT. Thats no joke!!!

And having no effects will turn a transition to a "ghost drive" ... every human need little successes to keep positive and happy. Thats human.

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 07:56:33 AM
First of all, nearly every cis-woman's body looks feminine. It has nothing to do with 90-60-90 or with overweight, beeing athletic or something like that. Its only something with the shape and this shapes and structures make a body looking masculine or feminine. I dont know if you understand me ... its a "teamplay" of muscle -structures, skinfat and fat distribution - these 3 componentes makes a body looking masculine/feminine. The bones, hips will give a basic shape - but important is what is coming over the bones!!!

I think I can understand the frustration with not being happy with your body and being unhappy with the effects (or lack thereof) of HRT, but I think you are being too hard on yourself in a way. Many, and probably most cis women do have a feminine frame to their body and features. It's not "nearly every," though, there are many, many cis women whose shape lacks the "teamplay" of features you describe. This becomes even more pronounced as women age and estrogen levels (etc) drop.

But, imo more importantly, an even larger number of cis women feel miserable about their bodies, whether it's because they are not feminine enough or for myriad other reasons. As frustrating and awful as it can feel to look in the mirror and see a male body reflected back, we're not unique in being unhappy or ashamed of our bodies. Society's expectations of women are cruel and unrealistic.

We all need to be realistic in our expectations, and one real and common possibility is that transition is going to be difficult, that hormones won't have the effects we wish for, etc. It's frustrating, but how we react to that frustration is up to us. Focusing on the "failures" is not going to help anything. It sounds like you have had *some* successes (less body hair, less acne, softer skin). It'd be nice if the list were longer, but everyone cis *or* trans, depends on the luck of the draw when it comes to development. When it becomes clear that the development has done what it's going to do, we can either learn to be happy with what we got, or we can find alternatives to assist nature. But there aren't really any other constructive choices.

Were making cycles in our discussion ...

When HRT is not changing your body the whole transitions-process makes no sense to me. The task of my transition was a alignment of my body to female facts. I dont except to get a whole full feminine body, a model body or something like that. Thats really impossible - BUT HRT exists to make some alignment and harmonization. Thats the only sense of HRT. When it doesnt happen the whole process of HRT isnt able to take my suffering and makes absolutely no sense.

And what are the options??? Surgery? Should surgeons cut out my masculine muscles and my skinfat? A transition can only exists when hormones work. If not you will keep a man and will keep all your suffering.

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 10:13:54 AM
And what are the options??? Surgery? Should surgeons cut out my masculine muscles and my skinfat? A transition can only exists when hormones work. If not you will keep a man and will keep all your suffering.

I really don't agree with you at all on these points. I'm sorry that HRT has not done for you what you hoped it would, but for many people it is only one part of the transition. It is not especially difficult to find comfortably transitioned trans folks who span a range of agreement with the "typical" physical characteristics of their identified gender. The same is true of cis folks, albeit perhaps to a lesser degree.

In any case, whether cis or trans, focusing on particular elements of appearance that you *must* have in order to be happy is not, imo, a recipe for long-term happiness. There is no treatment, change, or procedure that is a prerequisite for a successful transition.

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 07:56:33 AM
And ... hormones cant fix all your problems. Yes, but i expect after having a medical therapy that it will fix only some of my problems. But HRT didnt do so far. I guess all my "effects" came from my antiandrogens - less bodyhair, i lost my acne, softening of the skin ... but thats all. I had no breast growth even with progesterone, no fat distribution, no fuller face, no feminine muscel structure ... estrogens done nothing since that 2 years of HRT. Thats no joke!!!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been so disappointed by your progress on HRT.  I can understand how frustrating that would be.  I've seen your pictures, and you're really pretty.  So it seems to me that you don't need help in that area.

Have you tried talking with a different doctor?  I won't get into specific dosages, but my doctor was telling me that the standard thinking has a very limited range for the dosage of estrogen that they'll prescribe.  But she has seen people get to almost twice that amount to get good results.  Are your estrogen levels in a normal female range?  And have you considered breast augmentation?

I think this whole transition in your 30's thread is about this very issue.  HRT alone is not usually enough for us, like it is for those who transition in their teens and very early 20's.  Our age group usually needs some combination of surgery and tempered expectations. 

Quote from: katiej on January 29, 2015, 12:18:46 PM
Kate, I never even thought about needing to get my Mexican birth certificate changed.  It's hand written in Spanish, so anytime I've needed a birth certificate I've always used my US Certificate of Birth Abroad (which should be easy to change).  Do you actually need to change the original, or is it just a matter of wanting to have it done.

Well, I'm a bit different in that I am a naturalized US citizen. You are a citizen at birth it seems (jus sanguinis).

For me, it is a matter of a few things:

Wanting to have it done.
Wanting to be complete on paper and for there to be no reminder that my birth country recognizes me as a "male"
The option of a passport with the right gender on it. It's a CARICOM passport with free travel and work in the Caribbean. This is especially important as transphobia is rampant in the Caribbean, especially Jamaica. I let my last passport expire. I want to not have to be forced to use smelly, disgusting male restrooms (as required by law!)
Wanting proof of citizenship so I can own land. Noncitizens are limited to 1 acre. We own a few acres, my dad has basically willed it to me. It's kind of funny how things work, someone could use some loophole in the law to rob me of that.
The option of moving back for retirement or whatever else life throws at me.

Top reasons off the top of my head.

All my US docs can be changed easily and without surgery though. That's good enough for a lot of things.

I was born in Trinidad and Tobago. There is no provision to change sex on any official document unless it was an error, such as the clerk put down the wrong one. THAT IS IT. They've been trying to get that changed but the local inter religious organization pushed it back hard and the Prime Minister dropped it. The PM is actually a friend of the family and I know her. I am yet to come out to her but I need to have a heart to heart chat with her. My old MP was a friend of the family too and I worked with him on his campaign. The sad thing is he is embroiled in a sex scandal so he really is kind of neutered.

Quote from: katiej on January 30, 2015, 12:31:43 PM
I'm sorry to hear that you've been so disappointed by your progress on HRT.  I can understand how frustrating that would be.  I've seen your pictures, and you're really pretty.  So it seems to me that you don't need help in that area.

Have you tried talking with a different doctor?  I won't get into specific dosages, but my doctor was telling me that the standard thinking has a very limited range for the dosage of estrogen that they'll prescribe.  But she has seen people get to almost twice that amount to get good results.  Are your estrogen levels in a normal female range?  And have you considered breast augmentation?

I think this whole transition in your 30's thread is about this very issue.  HRT alone is not usually enough for us, like it is for those who transition in their teens and very early 20's.  Our age group usually needs some combination of surgery and tempered expectations.

Yes, in germany you have to be under supervision of doctor. So, of course, we tried everything in that 2 years (i wrote it a few times in other threads) ... my estrogen is at 100pg/ml - we tried to have more but it doesnt work with pills or gel. Since 3 weeks i get injections now. More soon ...

I had a breast augmentation 3 month ago. I have a Cup A now, because my surgeon was doing mistakes. People only see the money. Now ive to go to a second surgery to correct it. I mean: thats my luck - HRT isnt work, surgery isnt work. After more than 2 years i need a little success for me, but all the things goes wrong. My face is the only thing that is passing ... but it already passed before HRT. People always think HRT was making my face able to pass - thats a really big mistake. I already passed before HRT ...

Thats me 2012, 1 year before HRT
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww11.pic-upload.de%2F30.01.15%2Fp1j2urbvm941.jpg&hash=3d1f2f1d3a7e26ea171d6d4112542f44a33f0b36)

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 10:13:54 AM
Were making cycles in our discussion ...

When HRT is not changing your body the whole transitions-process makes no sense to me. The task of my transition was a alignment of my body to female facts. I dont except to get a whole full feminine body, a model body or something like that. Thats really impossible - BUT HRT exists to make some alignment and harmonization. Thats the only sense of HRT. When it doesnt happen the whole process of HRT isnt able to take my suffering and makes absolutely no sense.

And what are the options??? Surgery? Should surgeons cut out my masculine muscles and my skinfat? A transition can only exists when hormones work. If not you will keep a man and will keep all your suffering.

  I went into transition only wanting to feel better - My system was chemically 'eating itself alive' giving me chronic high nerves, frequent nausea and fatigue.  Any physical changes that might occur I would take as a desirable bonus.  I am tall and thin and didn't expect much on the physical side and this has been the case, other than some breast growth (not enough to have to hide at work) and very subtle changes in my face.

  I understand how you feel about a lack of physical change not meeting your hopes because you are as strongly mentally invested in that outcome as I was with feeling healthy again.  If HRT had not fixed how rotten my system felt all-day, every day, I would have been just as disappointed as you.  I feel very lucky for what HRT has done for me health-wise even though it has will do little for my physical appearance.  This is something you should have expected and been prepared for because HRT frequently doesn't do much in terms of generating physical changes.  It is unusual that you had absolutely no breast development but there are massive numbers of completely flat-chested cis women in this world - if you don't have the genetics it simply ain't gonna happen.  I'll be lucky to hit a full B-cup based on my mother's development.

  I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better but I don't think there's anything I can say to change your mind.  All I cared about in my transition, other than feeling healthier, was to not be 'visually offensive'.  People have said lots of nice things about me but I know I'll never 100% pass in body or face.  That said, I've drawn no negative responses in nearly three years of part-time living.  I have no idea if you are 'visually offending' anyone in public or just purely down on yourself.  If you're unhappy or uncomfortable people can sense this a mile away.  One way or another you've got to find a way to project a sense of personal comfort even if you don't believe it yourself.  Despite your stated "bad luck", in the picture you just posted you look better and more 'blessed' than at least 90% of the transwomen I've seen in my city.  There are so many transwomen that can't even come close to achieving that image and I'm sure they're all upset right now that you don't feel better about yourself.  Further, any cis woman that's ever had the nerve to admit it has been jealous of me being tall and thin, and I'm willing to bet they would be plenty jealous of you to.  Give yourself some credit, most importantly for your naturally-passing face.  That is an extraordinary gift.

The thing is, not everyone feels HRT itself helps their health. Personally, I could at least be having sex with my girlfriend if it were not for how much the HRT is crushing my libido... but I'm sticking to it in the hopes it might do something. If I would know that it will never do anything to make me look more feminine, maybe I'd be better off without HRT.

I made a blog post where you can see how I look without a wig and makeup, and whatever changes the HRT has done.

http://ruthruthless.com/2015/01/30/one-year-pictures/

This has me thinking. Who has better results on HRT? Those who look somewhat feminine before HRT or those who don't? I've heard that the greatest effect is on those who don't.

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 03:11:57 PM
Yes, in germany you have to be under supervision of doctor. So, of course, we tried everything in that 2 years (i wrote it a few times in other threads) ... my estrogen is at 100pg/ml - we tried to have more but it doesnt work with pills or gel. Since 3 weeks i get injections now. More soon ...

I had a breast augmentation 3 month ago. I have a Cup A now, because my surgeon was doing mistakes. People only see the money. Now ive to go to a second surgery to correct it. I mean: thats my luck - HRT isnt work, surgery isnt work. After more than 2 years i need a little success for me, but all the things goes wrong. My face is the only thing that is passing ... but it already passed before HRT. People always think HRT was making my face able to pass - thats a really big mistake. I already passed before HRT ...

You really need a win, girl!  I hope this next surgery goes better for you.

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that we want our estrogen level to be somewhere just under 200pg/ml.  Cis women fluctuate throughout the menstrual cycle, but the average is just under 200.  So hopefully the injections help.  From what I hear they seem to be better for those of us who haven't had luck with pills or patches.

I'm now 4 weeks on injections and feel nothing. Same like gel or pills to me. No difference.

We doing so muck work on our bodes, were making surgeries, epilations,excersing, healthier food, we spend much time with makeup and hairstyling  ... and in summery we all keep "men". Thats my summary after 3 years. I will keep a man. Everyday my body remembers me that i'm XY. And you will never lose that situations. 100 situations everyday where you think "oh, i'm a man, no woman" ... that is whats breaking my soul and my dreams.

Yesterday i wanted to buy a dress. The upper body needs Size L, the hips and legs need M - its unpossible to find a dress with the these figur, absolutely unpossbile. And my figur will never fit in a dress. Ive BMI21, no fat belly or something like that - but it doesnt fit.

Quote from: galaxy on January 30, 2015, 03:11:57 PM
Yes, in germany you have to be under supervision of doctor. So, of course, we tried everything in that 2 years (i wrote it a few times in other threads) ... my estrogen is at 100pg/ml - we tried to have more but it doesnt work with pills or gel. Since 3 weeks i get injections now. More soon ...

I had a breast augmentation 3 month ago. I have a Cup A now, because my surgeon was doing mistakes. People only see the money. Now ive to go to a second surgery to correct it. I mean: thats my luck - HRT isnt work, surgery isnt work. After more than 2 years i need a little success for me, but all the things goes wrong. My face is the only thing that is passing ... but it already passed before HRT. People always think HRT was making my face able to pass - thats a really big mistake. I already passed before HRT ...

Thats me 2012, 1 year before HRT
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww11.pic-upload.de%2F30.01.15%2Fp1j2urbvm941.jpg&hash=3d1f2f1d3a7e26ea171d6d4112542f44a33f0b36)

Galaxy, I have to tell you, you look beautiful in that picture. I would kill to look like that. I am on HRT and I don't i look as good as you without the HRT. It's unfortunate that HRT didn't work for you but aren't there any other alternatives?

Theres only one alternative ... and we both know what i'm talking about.
Me only option is to live as a man like years ago and i cant do that.

Please talk to a doctor about this. Could it be possible that your body could be over producing testosterone?  Have you done any blood tests to confirm this? Is it possible to remove your testicles and then restarting HRT? Its just a theory I came up with. Try talking to a doctor about that theory. I don't think it would hurt to ask.

I have also had limited results from hrt and give more credit to what improving my wigs, laser hair removal, nutrition and running have done for me but every day that I put my oestrogel and take my androcur I remember there is the option of doing what I'm doing minus the hormones and surgery and every day I consider that. Either way I'm still a woman, even if only a select few like my girlfriend see it. I figure I am bald so I will never pass 24/7 anyway. But I'm afraid of regretting what might have been if I continued so for now I'm staying on the ride.

I am 50+.
To be where I am, wishing I was where you are still and would have made a different call.

Looking back with what if's is a reflection that I don't normally entertain.  I believe we are who we are for a reason, ir this conversation, your family, lack there of and or friends ...good or bad! 

You have the chance, as I lack, as many, many, many do here, and exhaust the discovery, explor the journey and act whilst young that we cannot.  Ever.  Think positive.  Think possibilities.  Think discovery of who you are and what you want and that you still have the ability to act and live a full life as you choose to be...  Man or woman is not the point, but rather a full beautiful life as you wish, that many of us out here will only ever dream of.   You are truly fortunate.  Hope you and therapist reach the best possible you...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

May we ask what your levels are.  I'm starting to hear that too much estradiol can cause problems.  And progesterone in some people is a hamper too..  maybe time to change around your doses for a while, but you need to know what they are and talk w your dr about it..  do you have any breast pain during injections?   Do you have a high and low during the ends of the shot?  I had mine reduced from 10 days to every 7 just for more consistency in levels..  what are your t levels?  Are you blocking them? 

This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

I disagree with you that you necessarily take hormones to feel good. I can't know ahead of time if the hormones will make me feel good or not. For me personally, I don't know if they made me feel good. I know I don't appreciate the all but complete loss of sex drive, but I'd love to exchange that if necessary for physical changes, but I don't have that either. How am I supposed to feel less dysphoric if my body is the same and I lost my sex drive? I didn't gain anything new. For me personally, I have no idea if the hormones made me feel better or worse. As far as I'm concerned, it's the same, only now I have less sex drive.

So does that mean HRT is not for me? Well, if I stop HRT then the sex change commitee might interpret that as unwillingness to transition and deprive me of FFS and Tracheal Shave that could do what the hormones haven't been doing.

And even without that, how can you state that the purpose of HRT would necessarily be to feel good directly from them? It's like saying I shouldn't do laser hair removal because it hurts, but in the long run when I lose my facial hair, I will feel less dysphoria and feel better. In the same way, I take hormones, hopefully to make physical change, which will hopefully make my body resemble my gender identity, leading in the long run to less dysphoria. So I'm also double unfortunate to not get any chemical emotionally balancing effect from the hormones, and that's supposed to mean I'm expecting them to do something they weren't designed to do?

I would be happy to discuss this more in a new thread, but I think you have options concerning how you are doing HRT.

Being in my thirties this thread has now disheartened me a bit.  But i guess on the bright side if hormones don't do anything atleast most of the face can be fixed with FFS.

Quote from: jessical on February 16, 2015, 02:15:45 PM
This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

I so agree with you that taking hormones for possible physical appearances may be a letdown.
When I started therapy sessions, I didn't even go into those sessions thinking of hormones. Hormones were an afterthought as therapy to me was about getting my head screwed on right. Hormones were nice, but they haven't altered my physical appearance after six years except very slight changes.
As for sex, the last thing I ever wanted was actually having a sex drive. I've never had a sex drive until I knew my "tumor" would be gone. Only then would I consider sex. for me, hormones actually decreased my sex drive.

Quote from: jessical on February 16, 2015, 02:15:45 PM
This tread has drifted aware from the original topic.  Yes, you can have good result transitioning in your 30s or later.  That does not mean it does not work out very well for some people.  But that does not necessarily mean that age is the factor.

HRT is only one aspect of transitioning.  I am a little concerned when peoples top goal in taking HRT is physical changes.  It just seems that seeing it that way will set you up for disappointment.  Starting HRT to improve how you feel, and help with dysphoria was the primary reason for me and any physical changes were secondary.  It is the primary driver when talking to my doctor.  If we ever changed any dosages, the first question was "How do you feel?", not "How are the physical changes?".

Knowledge is power when it comes to HRT.  Yes we should be under the care of a doctor, but having the knowledge on standard dosages, ideal levels, and the pluses and minuses of the different forms of medication are very important.  Approaching it like if you were a doctor learning about the process.  Being a self advocate with your doctor is a super important thing.  In particular in this tread I saw two things that make me suspect that HRT is not optimized.  Little physical changes from HRT, but the reported E levels seemed low.  Lose of sex drive, where T levels are below the level to measure them.  HRT is about balance, and the balances seem to be off, which can cause poor results.

However, even with all that, HRT does not always work out for physical changes.  It is something that many of us were warned about (hopefully by your doctor), that results can vary greatly, and that can happen at any age.  And that as we get older that HRT can have less of an affect, but even that has great variation as is evident from this tread and many people on this forum.  That was the purpose of this thread, was to give people an ideal of what HRT can do in your 30s (or later).  And for many it works well, and for some it does not and I have lots of sympathy for those cases.  Hopefully this thread will give someone thinking about HRT in their 30s a balanced view of this.

It is perfectly reasonable for people to obsess over physical changes.  It is an uncomfortable reality, but the quality of life of a transitioner is often directly proportionate to passability and appearance.  In my experience so far hormones have done wonders for me mentally, but physically i look the same as before.  This is psychologically unsettling for myself, and i imagine for others in similar shoes.

I have felt really good this whole week. There are a number of possibilities as to what's changed. Winter seems to be over and the weather is actually good. I colored my hair and love it. There is also the possibility that HRT has finally affected me mentally. I really think its a combination of all three actually. I've noticed that my emotions are starting to become more accessible and that is the only thing I really have no way of conclusively knowing how its affecting me.

Hi all,

I am 34 years old and in the processes of transitioning to female. I have been on HRT for almost 9 months now and it has done wonders for me both mentally and physically. My dysphoria calmed down, I started feeling emotions again, and it has helped me love life. The best way to describe it is, I used to see only in shades of grey and now I see all in color.

On the physical front, I am almost at an A cup and I have really noticed that my appearance is become feminine (both in my face and body). Yesterday my mom commented saying, "Wow, your hips really are starting to fill out". I am also noticing that my mid section is starting to slowly shift towards a more female appearance and that my legs are losing a lot of their muscle. I am so happy with how things are progressing and can't wait to see how I look at the 2 year mark.

It is very much possible to have positive physical changes in your 30's. My outlook has always been about finding the authentic me first and changes second. People need to keep in mind that our mental state plays a big part in how we perceive ourselves. The happier you are about yourself (not your physical appearance) as a person, the happier you will become with everything else.

Melissa

Quote from: awilliams1701 on March 17, 2015, 03:47:29 PM
I have felt really good this whole week. There are a number of possibilities as to what's changed. Winter seems to be over and the weather is actually good. I colored my hair and love it. There is also the possibility that HRT has finally affected me mentally. I really think its a combination of all three actually. I've noticed that my emotions are starting to become more accessible and that is the only thing I really have no way of conclusively knowing how its affecting me.

I think your latest avatar looks pretty good too. You're really getting there, slowly but surely.

Thanks! That pic is less than a week old. I was at about 3½ months HRT when I took it. I took it to show off my hair, but it turned out so good I've put it up everywhere.

I am 31 when I started transitioning last November and think I have came long way since.

Very first post on anything anywhere about this.  Nervous as hell..............well I'm 37, recently admitted to myself that I might be transgender, came out to fiancee last month and now my life seems like a surreal rollercoaster.   Its so crazy to me I had these feelings for so long but only recently understood them albeit vaguely. Tried going to a coming out function this week but chickened out.  Need to talk and compare what is going on in my head with others that might understand.  Sorry I know a lot of people are far along in figuring this out and I can imagine this must seem laughable considering what many have already gone thru.    I'm 6'2and 215lbsand and a good looking guy reasonably speaking, have a good job great fiancee good family and nothing to complian about.  Then there's this................I'm so scared that this is something I want but am petrified of how this would affect my life.  I do cpr and a bunch of other training at work standing in front of people.  I have a military style haircut and would problably the last guy at work anyone would suspect of this.   How the hell am I supposed to do my job being so visible if I start growing boobs and losing muscle like hrt does.   Excited about the results but not sure how I would get thru transition with this much visibility.   Also, I don't have a decent description to help me understand if this is gender disphoria I'm experiencing or I'm just uncomfortable in general plus fantasize about being a woman on and off.  I think I might fit the bill of non binary gender.   This seems to make my understanding and decision all the more difficult.     I don't crossdress and don't have too much of an interest in that so I don't k
understand why I would want to be female but not express it in a feminine way.   Wtf is going on in my head?!...................any advise or encouragement is very welcome.   Sorry if this was overly lame, it is a surreal feeling actually acknowledging this here and realizing I have others to talk to about this for the first time in my life.  Wow, I'm not alone.......thank god I am not alone. 

Hi Welcome to Susan's Place.

I am in a hotel room in Ohio so I do not have my usual site greeting with links to useful information.

It is very important that you address you trans identity reguardless of how you proceed. A good gender therapist can help you. You may want to include your girl friend in some of the sessions, if permitted.

Remain open and honest and realize the feelings usually intensify with age and there is really nothing you can do about it except address who you are. You have plenty of choices on how you address being trans but you need to address being trans.

What you can tolerate now may change and the feelings may increase and at this juncture of you life being honest with your girlfriend and yourself is very important. The reason I am saying this is I am 52 and hid everything until I had no choice but to address it. I have a wife and 17 year old daughter and I and I made a mess for a while with the family. We are close and making our way but if you can avoid the mess than do so,

hugs.

Welcome, jm77, and nope You are not alone :).
May I suggest looking up this article http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm (http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm) ? I read it when I was somewhere in the place where You are probably now and thanks to it, a lot of pieces of "puzzle" finally clicked into place. Plus, it also gives certain perspective as to what to expect in the future.
Take slow steps and dont make decisions in haste, please. And I hate to say, but this is the stuff which is very hard to deal with alone. It can be done, but... if You have options then getting impartial external opinion from an expert would be advisable route.

Hi JM,

Welcome and congratulations on posting your first post.

First of all you can be transgender and chose not to transition, there is no rulebook and my recommendation is to do as little as you can and still be happy because typically the further down this path you go the harder life gets. Personally I'm not happy until I get my surgery but that's my decision based on how I feel, you need to figure out what you want and how much you are willing to sacrifice.

Having said that for me this whole process has been much easier that I though, I had prepared myself to loose everything and in the end although it did spell the end of my relationship I kept my family, job and friends.

The stereotype of transgender women all being hairdressers etc, could not be further from the truth, I personally know girls that are firefighters, pilots, prison guards and many of us have hobbies which are physically demanding.

Don't worry if you don't have everything figured out at this point, you have made the hardest and most important step and that's admitting this to yourself, it will take you a while to figure the rest out.

Hi JM, welcome to Susan's place. I know how nervous and frighting things can be with so much that you don't know, but realize could affect and change your life in so many ways. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and hugs.
Mariah

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If hormones make me feel emotionally bad and wreak havoc on my metabolism without changing my appearance much do you think it's an option to transition relying only on surgery without hormones or would I probably need the hormones to avoid my face from masculinizing if I had t again? My endo recommends against ditching the hormones because she says they did soften my skin and that it would regress if I stop hormones.

I tend to agree with your doctor and post-SRS, you need some sex hormone in your body for bones, well-being, etc. How much is up to your doctor to decide.

Its certainly understandable what you're going through. I'm lucky enough to be in a very supportive area, but I had no way of knowing that. I started with therapy (which I HIGHLY recommend) and slowly started coming out. It hasn't been perfect, I have two sisters struggling with this, but things are getting better for me.

The good news I'm over all of that now. I get to live my life freely and openly. That in itself is rewarding. When the hormones kicked in mentally about 6 weeks ago (most people say this happens to them in the first week), it was like seeing daylight for the first time.

Its difficult at first, but its so worth it. As for concern about growing boobs. I'm at 5 months and they are certainly there, but they are also tiny. If I wanted to hide it wouldn't be hard for me at this stage. From what I understand sometimes they will grow to be quite large and sometimes they won't. Genetics and age are a big part of that.

Quote from: jm77 on April 30, 2015, 05:10:08 AM
Very first post on anything anywhere about this.  Nervous as hell..............well I'm 37, recently admitted to myself that I might be transgender, came out to fiancee last month and now my life seems like a surreal rollercoaster.   Its so crazy to me I had these feelings for so long but only recently understood them albeit vaguely. Tried going to a coming out function this week but chickened out.  Need to talk and compare what is going on in my head with others that might understand.  Sorry I know a lot of people are far along in figuring this out and I can imagine this must seem laughable considering what many have already gone thru.    I'm 6'2and 215lbsand and a good looking guy reasonably speaking, have a good job great fiancee good family and nothing to complian about.  Then there's this................I'm so scared that this is something I want but am petrified of how this would affect my life.  I do cpr and a bunch of other training at work standing in front of people.  I have a military style haircut and would problably the last guy at work anyone would suspect of this.   How the hell am I supposed to do my job being so visible if I start growing boobs and losing muscle like hrt does.   Excited about the results but not sure how I would get thru transition with this much visibility.   Also, I don't have a decent description to help me understand if this is gender disphoria I'm experiencing or I'm just uncomfortable in general plus fantasize about being a woman on and off.  I think I might fit the bill of non binary gender.   This seems to make my understanding and decision all the more difficult.     I don't crossdress and don't have too much of an interest in that so I don't k
understand why I would want to be female but not express it in a feminine way.   Wtf is going on in my head?!...................any advise or encouragement is very welcome.   Sorry if this was overly lame, it is a surreal feeling actually acknowledging this here and realizing I have others to talk to about this for the first time in my life.  Wow, I'm not alone.......thank god I am not alone.

Wow, OK, so I just read this entire thread today.  Kinda like a rollercoaster ride with all the topic focus shifting, but back to the original focus of the thread, here's my story of why I'm in my 30's and just now considering transition.

I would like to start off by saying though that the last time I remember having true gender dysphoria issues was back in my early 20's.  About that time was when I met my wife.  We had personalities that clicked so well together, a similar sense of humor and taste in music (at the time) and religious views that meshed.  We were young, she was in college still, and we didn't know where things were going until they did.  Footnote: I've been able to lean on certain "feminine things" like thong underwear to subconsciously tide me over over the years (that actually started in my early teens, sheesh!).  Fast forward about 10-12 years and now I'm 33. 

Over that next decade I worked on improving my life quite a bit in the traditional sense.  I got some education and certifications, became financially independent, developed my career, we got married of course, went from renting a house to owning one, I'm on my 4th car now I think, lol.  We have 3 cats, our first baby on the way, and a yard!

Suffice it to say, I've had a lot on my mind over the last decade, and these feelings of wanting to be a woman got buried under all of it.  Now that things are stabilizing (aside from the baby on the way thing), it's resurfaced, and hard...  I wasn't poised in life during my 20's to consider all the implications and act on them.  I'd never even heard of GID or even transexuals probably for that matter...  (I lived a sheltered little Christian life all through high school, and I'm glad I don't have that anymore!)  Trying to develop the "ideal" life, marriage, family, job and so on, kept me from digging into all of it and trying to identify what I was doing.  I was made to feel ashamed by my thoughts and actions whenever someone would discover me "playing" around as a woman.  The only way I could have considered transition before now considering the path I was on, was if I'd never met my wife, and I would never wish for that.

So, the brutal reality is setting in on me finally and I've dropped the T-bomb on my wife already.  Ready to start identifying the truth behind it all, and hopefully starting some low-dose E to see if it helps calm my brain down.

Quote from: Ruth Ruthless on April 30, 2015, 10:19:12 AM
If hormones make me feel emotionally bad and wreak havoc on my metabolism without changing my appearance much do you think it's an option to transition relying only on surgery without hormones or would I probably need the hormones to avoid my face from masculinizing if I had t again? My endo recommends against ditching the hormones because she says they did soften my skin and that it would regress if I stop hormones.

You need some sex hormones to regulate bone density and other stuff. The only gland that would produce it post SRS is the pituitary gland and it won't produce enough.

I know folks tend to get down about physical changes and being way past our teens makes changes seem like impossibilities. But...I just finnished my first month of low dose hrt at 36 and I feel great and hopefull. Part of that is that my doc just doubled my doseages! The rest is that even though I expected nothing but possible mental changes stuff started happening within days. The second day my bald patches on my head startred tingling and regrowth had begun. It hasn't stopped yet. My scent changed next. Then my skin started to soften. As did my beard and chest hair. I also started to bud and the girls seem to be plowing ahead. The beard hair slowed way down and the chest hair has started going blond. My voice has softened a bit too. I think too that there has been some change in either fat on my face and or musculature. I think that because I was gendered corectly a few times. I got ma'amed by a store clerk and oggled in the street. I have gone into this process expecting very little and trying to discount anything that I think has changed but what has happened is undeniable. I just hope progress takes an uptick with my doseages and this spring ends with me as a new woman looking forward to bigger things as the summer progresses!

I still don't notice a difference in skin. However I should soon since I just had laser yesterday. Some of it has fallen out, but there is a lot that hasn't.

Quote from: iKate on April 30, 2015, 01:45:45 PM
You need some sex hormones to regulate bone density and other stuff. The only gland that would produce it post SRS is the pituitary gland and it won't produce enough.

What if I just do ffs and ts?

Kellam, I wish you good luck and much progress. Hope it continues. For me I had breast growth in first two months. The rest of these last 17 months have only seen perhaps some skin softening as far as I can tell. I'm very happy for anyone who gets the results they want and I hope surgery will do for me what the hormones haven't.

The laser treatment helped with my hair and most of my face is clear but the center of the beard above and below the lips and on the chin is still prominent.  Also done for 17 months.

Quote from: iKate on April 30, 2015, 01:45:45 PM
You need some sex hormones to regulate bone density and other stuff. The only gland that would produce it post SRS is the pituitary gland and it won't produce enough.

Not pituitary gland but adrenal glands.

Quote from: Tristan on April 30, 2015, 01:41:34 PM
So, the brutal reality is setting in on me finally and I've dropped the T-bomb on my wife already.  Ready to start identifying the truth behind it all, and hopefully starting some low-dose E to see if it helps calm my brain down.

How did it go with your wife? 

The low dose has really helped me.  The mental haze and depression were gone within one day...it was amazing!  I've been on a low dose for 4 months now, and I've been slowly working towards transition.  The constant temptation is to say screw it and just go full on.  But I'd rather take a slow, methodical approach and be able to transition well.  After all, I've got a wife and kids to support.  But either way, just that little bit of E has made such a difference for me.

Wow, thank you all so much , Cynthia Michelle, Emily, Antonia, Mariah, awilliams.   Not sure what I was expecting but felt so many positive, understanding things after reading your comments and links.  I guess this is my therapy at the moment....lol.   Welcome to my coming out I guess.  Crazy, I was %100 sure I would take this to the grave, but I didn't and did the right thing by telling my Fiance, although I still partially wish I would have kept this to myself.  But now the roller coaster is moving and she and I are both on it.  Eihhh!    In my heart I feel like Every thing will be ok.   It will.  I has to.     I did check out a lot of that material and it was incredibly helpful. It was Eerie how descriptive that Paper; The Gender Variant Phenomenon--A Developmental Review By Anne Vitale Ph.D.
is compared to how I've seen my own life timeline.  Great great paper!  Not quite everything was mirror to my experience but a lot was and maybe as I understand things better learning about this more, some of those other things will make more sense as was mentioned to me. And whats up with the part about mtf's in their 30s mentioned as typically successful in some kind of realm in education or corporate settings??  Not sure how that translates exactly, but on that note I have often wondered if my mentality allowed my strengths in both masculine and femmine to come out and allowed me to perform some aspects of my work better than a cis gendered person might?   Hmmmm I don't know? The paper also used the term Cloistered which gives credible acknowledgement to the anxiety I feel and how I channeled and hid everything.  It amazes me how I pushed that out of my head and was removed from it even though it was making a bigger a bigger footprint in my life.  Its obviously hard for everyone facing any of these life issues whether they are male or female at any age, but I can see this from the 3rd person point of view a lot better reading these and can better appreciate why this is so intense in my and others own heads considering everything involved/at-stake for some.  One thing that I had wondered to myself and was confirmed on the paper was the idea that regardless of body changes, MENTALLY one can feel at self thus elevating much of the anxiety and other aspects.   That's huge!  I have wondered about the mental changes more than the body changes and feel like addressing that in itself, will significantly help.     Don't get me wrong I'm fascinated by the thought of myself doing HRT and all the stages.......exciting considering ME actually doing that......wow the whole HRT feminizing process is quite something indeed, but mentally is where I am hoping more for positive effects.    As suggested I have already planned to seek therapy including my girlfriend and I doing the counseling together and sometimes alone as she has been incredibly supportive thru this..........at least so far.   I have read enough that it is clear, that it is quite difficult to make relationships work under these kinds of circumstances.  So many stories say that.   I hope that's not our future.   So tough for her too, I mean heck, I have a choice at least, she doesn't..................     SO.......So it doesn't lessen HUH?, it just intensifies as one ages?............and intensifies more and more with increased masculine engagement?    GREAT! Lol, I'm really going to have to face this.  Universe laughing at me moment as I read that because I'm planning on getting ready to do a 20 yr. high school reunion this summer with the typical thoughts of working out like crazy, looking good and being the person I.......think???  I wanted to be coming back to a reunion in my head at least with a job, and healthy looking, and a good spouse, and living in a great area vs there.   I had also envisioned this as a way to make sure I Experience how good it is to be a guy on top of his game, especially physically to really enjoy those things with the intent of figuring out if I'm not happy with my body as average, or if I need to be really fit and buff.  I've done it before and very well and can accomplish it again getting off my duff..........wait!   Eihhhhh....my words seem delusional reading them back to myself.....oh boy...if I already got buff before, then why am I still here at this point of my life?  ...well........well........ I guess I have a lot to figure out.  I will abide by all the website rules for sure, I don't intend or understand being mean in a place that is meant to be supportive.   One thing though; I'm not sure my life drama shared like this is in the right place here? Maybe this is the perfect place for it?   I mean, I'm going to see a therapist but not there yet and this forum has been on my mind all day, I just want to make sure this isn't to heavy of stuff I'm communicating and if I need to dial it down at all or at any points.  Not suicidal or anything like that, but very stressed and feel like I'm in alternate universe but also very exited to see what might be possible.   These 2 posts have allowed me to vent, REALLY VENT when I have felt anxiety like no other time in my life.   Not even close at all, especially these last couple days.   I have so much respect for what so many have gone thru reading some of these posts.  Amazing courage, courage largely unseen, and courage mis-understood.   Excuse the pun.      This place has been extremely helpful during a tough time.   

Quote from: katiej on May 01, 2015, 01:13:45 AM
How did it go with your wife? 

The low dose has really helped me.  The mental haze and depression were gone within one day...it was amazing!  I've been on a low dose for 4 months now, and I've been slowly working towards transition.  The constant temptation is to say screw it and just go full on.  But I'd rather take a slow, methodical approach and be able to transition well.  After all, I've got a wife and kids to support.  But either way, just that little bit of E has made such a difference for me.

Well, she's been all over the place emotionally, gotten on antidepressants and started seeing a therapist yesterday!  Not exactly all kittens and roses, but we're seeing where it takes us.

The worst part is that she's basically demanding of me to "do nothing" until the baby is born.  That'll be another 5+ months though.  So I'm going to start with a therapist of my own in a week, I've joined some local support groups, and this forum has been a godsend for my sanity.

The wife is basically saying to me though that I need to figure this all out now, not bury it for another 10 years from now to pop up and screw things up even more. So I guess it's good that I've got the green light to explore at least.

Hell, I've been thinking the past day or two that I might just be highly gender fluid.  I really really really liked going out in femme on Monday night, but I also enjoyed being able to trudge around at work like a lumbering bear yesterday, lol.

I kinda wonder what would  happen if I ever go to a reunion now, I might have to call a couple of ambulances in advance and make sure they have defibrillators.

On that note I think it would be sad if I had become the person I wanted to be at that age, as I have gone through life my goals and expectations have changed and I think in the end if you are happy with yourself and your life that's probably the biggest thing to bring back.

Quote from: jm77 on May 01, 2015, 04:50:29 AM
Universe laughing at me moment as I read that because I'm planning on getting ready to do a 20 yr. high school reunion this summer with the typical thoughts of working out like crazy, looking good and being the person I.......think???  I wanted to be coming back to a reunion in my head at least with a job, and healthy looking, and a good spouse, and living in a great area vs there.   I had also envisioned this as a way to make sure I Experience how good it is to be a guy on top of his game, especially physically to really enjoy those things with the intent of figuring out if I'm not happy with my body as average, or if I need to be really fit and buff.

I can't ever go to a high school reunion because I went to an all boys school and it would be devastating to me.

I couldn't imagine going to a reunion after or during transition.  Yikes!

I don't know if I would go to my reunion, my 20th is next year. I didn't have friends outside of school and I wasn't close to anyone who might show up. I'll have to ponder this one. I doubt anyone would be shocked if the weird loner no one liked showed up transitioned. I don't know... There were just as many folks who showed me little kindnesses as there wore folks who yelled insults at me...

It could be fun!

Quote from: Tristan on May 01, 2015, 07:58:17 AM
Well, she's been all over the place emotionally, gotten on antidepressants and started seeing a therapist yesterday!  Not exactly all kittens and roses, but we're seeing where it takes us.

The standard trans narrative tells us that transition is an automatic death sentence for marriages.  And it's just not true anymore.  A recent study showed that roughly half of all long-term relationships survive transition.  For MTF's in our thirties it's about 40-45%.  And my experience from the people that I know, the numbers are right...it's about half.  So that's good news.

I'll give you two pieces of (unsolicited) advice.  It took you years to be able to accept yourself.  So don't expect her to jump on board overnight.  It's a process for her just like it was for you.  Be understanding and patient, and give her time.

The other advice is to think of her as a partner in the decision-making process.  Ultimately it's your choice, but she'll be more likely to stick around if you aren't throwing down ultimatums and making decisions without her.  Give her reasons to be with you...just like you did when you were dating  :)

Best of luck, and please do keep us updated.

Quote from: katiej on May 01, 2015, 11:24:09 PM
The standard trans narrative tells us that transition is an automatic death sentence for marriages.  And it's just not true anymore.  A recent study showed that roughly half of all long-term relationships survive transition.  For MTF's in our thirties it's about 40-45%.  And my experience from the people that I know, the numbers are right...it's about half.  So that's good news.

I'll give you two pieces of (unsolicited) advice.  It took you years to be able to accept yourself.  So don't expect her to jump on board overnight.  It's a process for her just like it was for you.  Be understanding and patient, and give her time.

The other advice is to think of her as a partner in the decision-making process.  Ultimately it's your choice, but she'll be more likely to stick around if you aren't throwing down ultimatums and making decisions without her.  Give her reasons to be with you...just like you did when you were dating  :)

Best of luck, and please do keep us updated.

Some good advice and encouraging words Katiej, thank you very much!  I really want to keep her involved in the process, but she gets tired of me talking about it, and I want to move faster than she wants me to, so it's a back-and-forth tug-of-war in my brain every day.  Trying to avoid the ultimatums for sure though!  Gosh, it's been so long since we dated, I gotta try and remember how it used to be, lol.

I'll definitely be keeping everyone posted though.  I leave random snippets of updates spread all over the forums as is (like in this thread), but I'll try to consolidate in my Introduction thread if nowhere else as it goes along...

Quote from: Tristan on May 01, 2015, 07:58:17 AM
Well, she's been all over the place emotionally, gotten on antidepressants and started seeing a therapist yesterday!  Not exactly all kittens and roses, but we're seeing where it takes us.

The worst part is that she's basically demanding of me to "do nothing" until the baby is born.  That'll be another 5+ months though.  So I'm going to start with a therapist of my own in a week, I've joined some local support groups, and this forum has been a godsend for my sanity.

The wife is basically saying to me though that I need to figure this all out now, not bury it for another 10 years from now to pop up and screw things up even more. So I guess it's good that I've got the green light to explore at least.

Hell, I've been thinking the past day or two that I might just be highly gender fluid.  I really really really liked going out in femme on Monday night, but I also enjoyed being able to trudge around at work like a lumbering bear yesterday, lol.

Hi tristan, your story sounds very similar to mine. I also met my soulmate in my 20s, and we bought the house, and had a child, etc. Im 32 now, and when I found out I was going to be a parent, that really made me realize that I need to r-evaluate my life. It was sort of like a kick in the ass for me. I had suppressed my trans feelings from childhood, and every so often that would just resurface usually around stressful points in my life. After I found out I was going to be a parent, I started therapy to start discussing my gender feelings, but unfortunately i ended up repressing everything. That would be the last time i did that though.

You may find that once your child is born, your focus will be totally on your child, and not so much on yourself. It wasn't until my daughter turned 2 years old, that things finally settled down and I was able to focus on my transition again. I'm now about 7 months into transition, with about 2 month milestone for HRT.

In my case, I didn't stay with my partner, but we are still best friends and she is one of my biggest supporters. I still see my daughter almost every day, and she is starting to understand that daddy is now a girl.

I wish you the best of luck, and as others have said if you want to keep your partner, give her time and don't do anything abruptly without discussing it with her. Show her that you can still be a great parent, and lover. This is still not a guarantee, but if you rush things and become selfish (i was guilty of this) you can probably bet that it won't last long. In my case i no longer wanted to be in a relationship, because I just didn't have the energy for it. I needed to focus my energy on myself and my child.

I've totally been in your shoes and if you ever want to talk more feel free to IM me!! Im so happy for you becoming a parent!!, it really is one of the best things in life that i wouldn't trade for anything! enjoy every moment.

Hey all.

So, transitioning in your 30's eh?  Well, I'm 33.

When I discovered I was transsexual 4 months ago, I didn't really know how life was going to play out.  I spent weeks and weeks devouring information, reorganizing my outlook on life, and making plans for how to proceed.  Everyone said, "you're rushing, slow down!" and I was like, are you kidding me?  So they had a point, I was moving quickly, but the pace isn't sustainable, and there was good reason for it.  There's just a lot of things to do to get started and I knew I had to get started on all of them ASAP since they are all looooooong term activities.  Once I set things in motion, now I'm just along for the ride!

- Shopping for clothes, takes months or years to build up a wardrobe without breaking the bank.
- Getting therapy, takes dozens of sessions to develop a good rapport with a therapist, a plan of attack, execute it, and see the results.  Plus, letters....
- Hormones, takes months and years to work physically, but mentally the results were noticeable for me almost immediately.  I was suddenly so happy and excited about life, more empathetic to my wife's feelings and my own.
- Makeup, RLE, Voice, etc..., also takes months and years to get good at and settle into new habits.
- Body/Facial Hair removal, also takes up to a couple years to effectively treat.
- Head Hair Growth, yep, also takes months and years (I have super curly hair, so take a normal length of time for growth and multiply by 3!)

So yeah, rushing?  Not really, everything just takes so dang long to UNDO from years of testosterone poisoning, lol.

Anyways.  I wish I could've done this sooner, but as I've said before, I would've missed out on living the life I've led, and I wouldn't swap any of that (well, some of it maybe, heh).  I've been on a low intro dose of HRT for 7 weeks now, Spiro and Estradiol.  I have noticed some nipple sensitivity/itchiness and breast pain (no remarkable growth), and skin improvement (softer and less oily).  So far that's it, but combined with one treatment of laser hair removal, the only body hair I have right now is blonde and it's growing very slowly!  My Estradiol dose should be upped in a week or two.  I can't wait to see how this goes over the next year!  Super excited about next year's bathing suit season, haha.

Transitioning in your 30's, doable.  Mostly for me it's the feeling of mental relief that comes with acting how I want to, dressing how I want to, and having people (small group of friends for now) treat me respectfully and as the woman I hope to be on the outside someday that I already feel like on the inside.  I know there's more inside me than even I know about though, and it's an exciting future ahead of me on the path to discovering all the nuances!

With all that said, I'm not publicly out as of now, so I'm not posting any pics yet, sorry!  I'm trying to take some along the way though so I have them to look back on and show the progression.  :)

Hey girl,

I will be 32 next month, but I started transitioning 3 months ago. I will have to post some pics when I can.

Kristina, I'm so glad to hear things are working out for you.  This is definitely a marathon process even though we often feel ready to sprint to the finish line.  For me, things seem like they're moving at a glacial pace, but my wife feels like she's on a roller coaster.  But I'm happy to slow down a bit if it means I have a chance at keeping her on board.  And at this point it looks like I have a very good chance at it.

I'm realizing that pretty soon I'm going to reach a point of needing to just rip off the bandaid and jump in with both feet.  I'd like to get some more laser done on the face, fill out the wardrobe, and improve my makeup skills before then.  But I suppose it's like reaching the point of being ready to get married or being ready to have kids...nobody is ever quite ready, you just make do as you go along.

Indeed, very few people are ever "ready" for this.  Sure we are all ready in the sense that we want it to happen, but being ready to go bungee jumping and actually doing it are two different things!

My wife has been great so far, really.  I love her.  She calls me Kristina and her wife more often than not now.  She buys clothes for herself with the thought in her head that maybe I'd like to wear them too, lol.  I borrow her earrings sometimes, and she's handed down some miscellaneous things to me to help kickstart the wardrobe.  It's really been fantastic and I hope I never take that for granted.  I also hope that you and your wife can work it out!  Having someone supportive by your side is invaluable!

I figure next summer I'll probably have to jump in with both feet.  Hormones will have been working on me for a year at that point and my hair is gonna be sooo long.  I grow nearly an inch a month!

Well I'm 31 and just starting to take the steps to transition I well hopefully be able to start hrt this month I have a psychiatrist that is more than willing to reccomend me for hrt and I agree I wish I Could of started earlier like pre puberty however that was out of the question however I finally got to the point where I decided it's Time for me to be happy with myself forget everyone else that don't agree

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32 year old trans woman here!.

I'm about 1 year into transition and 5 months on HRT. Prior to transition I had a house, a child, spouse, good paying career. My transition had been one if the exceptions in that everyone in my life has been accepting but my spouse and I had to splitup. My job also supported me too. I'm fulltime now and have no issues to speak of.

My next big challenge as prepop  trans-woman will be feeling comfortable going to cis clubs or bars at night, locker room at the gym and the dating scene. I'm not optimistic about dating as a preop though. But one thing at a time!

Anyway I'm just another living example of a 30 something trans girl who ended up passable and had a successful transition. In my opinion this was a great age to do it, because of having a career and the ability to have a source of income certainly helped things. Would I have had better physical results at an early age? Probably but there would have different struggles When I was younger.

First of all, power to all of you who have transitioned in their 30's and beyond.  I'm sure that your courage, perseverance, and will to never give up under pressure is paying off.

I'm pre-everything, and am undecided of if and when to take that first step. 

Part of me is like "don't rush this, take your time, etc."  Another part of me is like "there's never enough time, get things going asap."

So, it's a bit of a daily distraction and struggle that I put up with for the moment.  Yet, I'm not giving up. 

It's easy to wish things would have worked out to start at a younger age.  Yet, for myself, I didn't know any better.  I spent almost two decades trying to squash and repress my desires, hoping they would disappear.  The shame was unbearable to deal with at times.  I'm proud to have finally dropped that shame from my shoulders and know that whether it's tomorrow or a few years from now, I won't let little things discourage me from my long-term goals.

Its absolutely necessary to be sure about the process and its consequences. Be also sure that transitioning is no guarantee for a better life. The life "as woman" will be compromise - its not the same as cis-women have! Be sure about this.

Further transition in the 30s is a tightrope walk. If you're 20 you can be sure hormones will make a feminine enough to pass. In the 30s in most cases people will recognize that youre transwoman if the have closer contact. Men in the 30s getting the typical masculine facial and body features and no hormone can return this process. So is also necessary to look for some crossdress-sessions before HRT to check your passing early. If it looks good and feminine your chances for good results and good passing are good. If it looks still really masculine youve should sleep about a decision.

Thread necromancy!

Despite some raw responses the overwhelming feeling I got from all these pages was one of great satisfaction and hope from the women here!

It certainly has given me a lot of hope.

April

X

Yeah, I have gone over this thread a number of times and have found everyone in their 30's to be pretty much happy with transition. I kind of feel a little late the party tho, as this thread was started back in 2010. Better late than never i guess.

April, keep the faith! You are not alone on this journey.
P.S. This thread just needed a little CPR + love!

hehe, thanks Jessica yes it's a great thread and I enjoyed reading all the pages - will definitely be keeping the faith!

30's the new 20's!

xx

April

I should consider stringing together some photos and stories for this thread, seeing as how I've been full-time since the beginning of the year and on hormones for over 13 months now. Every month is a new surprise full of changes in my life it seems. Some of them not so good, but it's all been worth it. Now to just find proper health insurance.  Sigh...

I'm 34 by the way.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

Hi girls it's Shannon.  So proud of all of you.  It's quite a journey isn't it!

Thanks for this thread ...

I'm now 31 (almost 32), started HRT about a year ago. It took me about 1,5 years of intensive consideration to make this decision, but now it's final and I'm feeling much better with it. Both the "I'm too old for that" and the "How can I be transgender, when it discovered that at 25? Transgender people are born this way" arguments were hindering, but I overcame both ones:

You're never too old to do what makes you feel good, and who cares about what is innate and what's not.

I made it in just under the wire! I'm 39 now and 4.5 months in on HRT, a month & a half of which were low dose. So far the effects have been good to me. I've definitely slid into a more androgynous state. With hair & makeup I have found that I can pass somewhat even in broad daylight. For me I think the biggest thing is/was hair - not enough up top and too much on the face. It's a work in progress but I'm hopeful that by this time next year I will be full time.

Quote from: LucyNewport on August 10, 2016, 08:35:46 AM
I made it in just under the wire!

Me too!  I'm also 39 and started transitioning recently.  :)

It's never too late to transition :)

In my case its too late. I lost my hair now after SRS.
Its not worth all the pain and all the sorrows. Its wasted time and a wasted life!

Quote from: Gyps on August 16, 2015, 12:04:45 PM
First of all, power to all of you who have transitioned in their 30's and beyond.  I'm sure that your courage, perseverance, and will to never give up under pressure is paying off.

I'm pre-everything, and am undecided of if and when to take that first step. 

Part of me is like "don't rush this, take your time, etc."  Another part of me is like "there's never enough time, get things going asap."

So, it's a bit of a daily distraction and struggle that I put up with for the moment.  Yet, I'm not giving up. 

It's easy to wish things would have worked out to start at a younger age.  Yet, for myself, I didn't know any better.  I spent almost two decades trying to squash and repress my desires, hoping they would disappear.  The shame was unbearable to deal with at times.  I'm proud to have finally dropped that shame from my shoulders and know that whether it's tomorrow or a few years from now, I won't let little things discourage me from my long-term goals.

EXACTLY the same here.

I have not aged a lot in the last 10 years, but I'm 31 now.
MtF, my first psychiatrist appointment it's in a few days... Quite nervous, tbh.

i won't be in the 30's club for at least another 2-3 years I'm 27 now, of slim build, roughly about 5 maybe 6ft tall, i don't have any muscle definition really, nothing that shows anyway, I'm seriously skinny thought and have a fast Metabolism i can honestly eat and eat and I'm not even sure where it goes is this something that changes? i also cycle on average 17 or more miles once or twice a week if I'm not cycling I'm walking a lot either into town or some mission that's relevant to me, my abilities to sprint is still there but was damaged by smoking, however this is starting to improve i've noticed. the funny thing is my mum is... putting in politely on the large side, my dad was skinny and a lot shorter than me, my brother is taller than me! and my god looks like he plays rugby never a bad thing and my grandad was very tall but somewhat skinny and my Nan bless her had a lot of my mum in her.. i hear that HRT results differ because of our genetics so I'm not to Shaw where that leaves me in this case as my family are all different shapes and sizes, including my cousins.

Alexa :)

I heard a lecture. True story. The lecturer's mother decided at age 59 to go back to law school. She passed her boards and whatnot and was admitted into the entering class the following year.

A friend of hers was surprised and reminded her, "Why are you doing this? You'll be 62 in three years when you graduate!"

The mother thought for a moment and then answered, "I'll be 62 years old in three years, regardless."

I know this thread is old but i thought id add my experience so far.

I'm 32 started HRT little over a month ago and i have loved everything about it so far. I am not nearly as depressed as i used to be no impending doom looming over me anymore lol  my body hair has slowed some and has stopped growing on my belly and feet. chest hair has lessened quite a bit but i think i've gotta be patient for that part. nipples are poking out with small lumps behind them. in my opinion its never to late to make yourself happy i would definitely recommend therapy for anyone thinking about HRT as it has helped me so much and i've always been against therapy.
My confidence has gone way up but i think i need to learn to control it as i pretty much almost  just got fired for telling my supervisor he was useless last week. there is so much more but to keep this short do what feels right for you and it will work out and don't let anyone tell you your doing it wrong its your transition and no one else's!!!!


Nicole  ;)  ;D

Quote from: VickyEU on October 02, 2016, 02:40:03 PM
EXACTLY the same here.

I have not aged a lot in the last 10 years, but I'm 31 now.
MtF, my first psychiatrist appointment it's in a few days... Quite nervous, tbh.

Vicky,

Welcome to the site. thanks for sharing. Wish my aging would slow down...

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to read the first several stickies:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

[/quote]

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

It's so nice to log in every once and a while and see this thread still going strong. I'm currently 39 and about to turn 40! Even though I started this thread almost 7 years ago I still log in and check in every once and a while.

You all look and sound amazing! Much love :)

Quote from: Adabelle on November 20, 2016, 12:29:51 AM
It's so nice to log in every once and a while and see this thread still going strong. I'm currently 39 and about to turn 40! Even though I started this thread almost 7 years ago I still log in and check in every once and a while.

You all look and sound amazing! Much love :)

I can't believe you started this thread almost 7yrs ago. I am 35 now and made the decision to go on HRT 2 days ago. This was one of my biggest fears. I also have some strong facial features and a large frame. I'm worried I won't be able to lose enough weight to be passable. But I'm going to work my butt off. Like so many of you have said, nothing comes easy and you'll appreciate it more when you've earned it.

Loves 💋❤️💋

Alora

I'm 28...2 months of hrt. Not much really.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the dearth of info on 30s transitioning. I'm 31 and mostly noticed women were a lot younger or a lot older when transitioning.

Nice to know I'm not alone, though!  ;D

Hey everybody!  I've been AWOL for a while, but that's a good thing.  I went full time last December 28th, so I'm about to hit my one-year mark, and as you can see I'm creeping up on 18 months of HRT.  I too am 30-something, and we'll just leave it at that.

Every time I come back to these forums after a hiatus, I like to update my profile picture.  So, there I am to the left, tada!  HRT has been good to me I think.  I still have trouble with learning to identify and control my emotional outbursts, but after ~20 years of having no emotional dynamic whatsoever I'm due to be cut some slack I think.  The breast development has been slow; still shy of a 34-A cup to some degree.  They hurt almost nonstop for like a year and then went dormant for a couple of months, but then started hurting (growing) again a couple weeks ago, so wish me luck, lol.

I transitioned on the job last year, and then left that job to return to school this fall semester and will be graduating finally, YAY!!!  I've been having a blast hanging out at home with my daughter most days and I will miss that dearly when I return to work.  And on that note, I just interviewed for a position that I really hope to be hired for.  This will be my first attempt at going stealth in the workforce and hopefully the final step toward living my life as a woman and nothing else in the eyes of others in my life.  Well, short of surgery and an updated birth certificate, hah.

I still plan to have bottom surgery, but I don't think I'll be touching anything else with a knife unless I stumble into a pile of cash and feel like knocking off some of the corners on my face.  Self-acceptance and time have been my biggest saviors, and good friends help with both of those.  Find those who accept you, those who love you, and those who will protect you and then safeguard those relationships.

All-in-all, I am happy, and that's why we transition, even in our 30's (and 40's and 50's and 60's, etc...)!

P.s.  Don't worry, I'm sure I'll make another update in 6 months or so, lol.

Quote from: KristinaM on December 06, 2016, 07:14:26 PMSelf-acceptance and time have been my biggest saviors, and good friends help with both of those.  Find those who accept you, those who love you, and those who will protect you and then safeguard those relationships.

Amen to that!  :angel:

Hello lovelies

Its been ages since I have been on here. So much has happened in terms of my transition since I first posted back in 2011. 
I have been off work sick today, and found myself browsing through the forums once more.  How times change. 
I started my transition at the ripe old age of 36!  Like many on this thread I was nervous and apprehensive, not just because of the whole transition thing, but also because of my age.  I had also been weight training in my early 30's just to "prove" to myself I was a man.  This had ramped up my T levels and bulked me out.  What a terrible mistake. Alas I was not of course a man.

I have been on HRT over 5 years.  I have been on patches the whole time with the odd pill thrown in.  My E levels are never remarkably high, but my T has always been kept very low. I was on a GnRH analog depot injection 3 monthly hormone blocker for 4 years prior to my SRS in Dec 2015.

Transitioning in your 30's comes with unique challenges to our age group.  Young families, settled jobs and career advancement.  Sometimes home ownership, long term partnerships and marriages. Some of these you wouldn't consider so much in your twenties.  It is harder, it takes longer and will test your resolve to the limit, however.......it can be done if you stick with it, stay determined and embrace your new identity.

Below is my before and after 2011 - 2016
and yes....I have had FFS (twice) and a boob job too.

Good luck Thirtysomethings........ I am now a fortysomething :-(((
Love Jo



(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2568%2F5841364089_c0c45f3729.jpg&hash=68db951888c0cdcf355b1abc47d95a4d436e765d)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13438817_634164133417029_5756955025750162868_n.jpg?oh=e67083ce8d38def36b634aeaa6f2d494&oe=5969E741)

Very pretty! :) What a change.  :o

QuoteGetting our ears pierced

Many guys get their ears pierced.  Mine were done about 25 years ago.

QuoteI'm an expert procrastinator

I'm not.  I keep putting it off.   :laugh:

QuoteAs an open-question to anyone in the older-than-30-transitioning club: do you ever feel as though you wasted your youth?

Yep, I often wish I had transitioned many years ago.  When I see kids starting so young these days, I'm envious.

This is encouraging as I'm 37 and  have started transitioning. Every transition timeline on Tumblr, YouTube or ->-bleeped-<- seemed to be a twenty something which always made me feel like I missed my window of opportunity. And I think the comments about being in the middle of marriages is accurate and adding into the mix busy professional careers that are on the rise and raising children.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've just started, 2 weeks on HRT and 32.

I aim to be living full time by summer next year, just after my 33rd birthday :)

2 months now at 37,  fun stuff.

I'm 32 and it's been almost 4 months since I started HRT. I've noticed a few small changes, I have pecs now and breast buds xD and my skin feels so much softer and smoother, though skin changes may be more to do with using moisturizers.

Read through this entire thread a few times now - before I even thought about getting an account on here, come to that!

As a thirtysomething I do have worries about passing and whether or not HRT and use of makeup/clothing will allow me to do so, but seeing some of the pictures here gives me hope! Guess I should care less about what the world thinks of me even if I choose to transition and don't pass...but hey ho.

Looking forward to seeing what the future might hold!

Ya, I've noticed a lack of 30s people posting when i first joined the site. I'm 32 and 1 month into HRT, tho wished i started earlier lol

~22 months on HRT @ 35yo. Transitioning in your 30's is totally possible.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170416/bf4679b605f650ce7a83f99e08079c02.jpg)

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Joanna on March 02, 2017, 11:37:29 AM
Hello lovelies

Its been ages since I have been on here. So much has happened in terms of my transition since I first posted back in 2011. 
I have been off work sick today, and found myself browsing through the forums once more.  How times change. 
I started my transition at the ripe old age of 36!  Like many on this thread I was nervous and apprehensive, not just because of the whole transition thing, but also because of my age.  I had also been weight training in my early 30's just to "prove" to myself I was a man.  This had ramped up my T levels and bulked me out.  What a terrible mistake. Alas I was not of course a man.

I have been on HRT over 5 years.  I have been on patches the whole time with the odd pill thrown in.  My E levels are never remarkably high, but my T has always been kept very low. I was on a GnRH analog depot injection 3 monthly hormone blocker for 4 years prior to my SRS in Dec 2015.

Transitioning in your 30's comes with unique challenges to our age group.  Young families, settled jobs and career advancement.  Sometimes home ownership, long term partnerships and marriages. Some of these you wouldn't consider so much in your twenties.  It is harder, it takes longer and will test your resolve to the limit, however.......it can be done if you stick with it, stay determined and embrace your new identity.

Below is my before and after 2011 - 2016
and yes....I have had FFS (twice) and a boob job too.

Good luck Thirtysomethings........ I am now a fortysomething :-(((
Love Jo



(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2568%2F5841364089_c0c45f3729.jpg&hash=68db951888c0cdcf355b1abc47d95a4d436e765d)
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13438817_634164133417029_5756955025750162868_n.jpg?oh=e67083ce8d38def36b634aeaa6f2d494&oe=5969E741)

Hi Jo

May I ask who performed your FFS?

Quote from: KristinaM on April 16, 2017, 01:51:39 AM
~22 months on HRT @ 35yo. Transitioning in your 30's is totally possible.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170416/bf4679b605f650ce7a83f99e08079c02.jpg)

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Wow! This definitely gives me hope for the future - you look amazing!

Quote from: D_Wrex on April 19, 2017, 11:51:52 AM
Wow! This definitely gives me hope for the future - you look amazing!

Lol at my half drunk selfie at 2am

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Quote from: KristinaM on April 19, 2017, 12:09:48 PM
Lol at my half drunk selfie at 2am

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

If I can look half as good as that half drunk at 2am on 22 months HRT I will be very happy indeed!  :)

Transitioned at 34 and it's been 3 years on HRT. It is possible :)

I'm 35 right now and looking to start my journey to a more feminized look. Seeing some of these pictures gives me hope.

If I decide later on to go all the way, at least I'll have a good start.

34 here...been 7 months 3 of those taking injectable estradiol

I'm knocking on thirty. I started when I was 27. I'll be 29 this year in August. So far the past almost year and a half my butt has become huge and I now have a b cup. Barely but the cups are filled with no gaps :D.

Can you transition in your 30's? Is it worth it? Can the results be "good"?

Us non-younger gals all ask those questions. We fear looking like our old selves but with a new wardrobe and all the shame that goes with it.

As you transition, three things happen:
1) The shame melts away.
2) During the start and the middle of the process, start of HRT to about the 2nd year, you will doubt and be down about so much in your life. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. One foot in front of the other. Persistence!
3) You won't be who you thought you would be. You'll become someone much better.


It wasn't til I was 39 when I started thinking about "all things trans" again. (I stopped when I was 25, long story). At the same time, I started wondering why I was so depressed all the time. After a few years of on-and-off personal research, I noticed my depression becoming much worse and my interest in "all things trans" ramping up. It wasn't til I turned 43 when I had that "A-HA!" moment when I realized that that the depression and trans thoughts intersected and I said "I am transgender" from there I buried it for less than a year until it almost buried me.


5 years of pics to show that YES IT'S SOOOOO WORTH IT!
Summer 2011, "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life" - Dean Wermer.  He's right:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FGHs1A8Y.jpg&hash=5bdf79a52076d3019b84e85dde568d0ad196bb34)


April 2014, 6 months before starting HRT and 5months before "deciding' to make the transition:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTRqqfsP.jpg&hash=0a78820f28648902d5b0235637422c6c3d282c61)


April 2015, 2 years ago today, on HRT for 7 months at this time
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FeOGkAZz.jpg&hash=222ff2dea2bf100bac892175fe377b106d6fbf64)



April 2016
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April 2017
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YES, It's worth it. It's VERY difficult. But soooo worth finally smiling, living life rather than existing to make it to the next hour, to the next drink, to the next escape....

It's so nice to come back to this thread every once and a while and read the updates. It's hard to believe that I just turned 40; 7 years after starting this thread.

These days I'm living a pretty 'normal' life; working, dating someone, making plans for the future. I'm actually very close friends with my ex wife and her boyfriend. We get together every couple weeks and play games or go out to brunch.

I guess if I were to say one thing it's that of course you can transition in your 30's. Or your 40's, or ANY age. At the time I started this thread I was of course terrified, and transition was definitely one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but in the end things do sort of become a new 'normal'. HRT over the long term does make changes very slowly. For me it definitely was like a slow-motion movie. I didn't have a lot of natural breast growth and did get a BA, and I've had a number of small medical things I've needed to figure out along the way.

But transition overall has turned out just fine. :)

I'd just recommend that anyone undertaking it at any age just make sure they do everything possible to have a good support group, support system, a good medical doc who will partner with you, and lots of patience.

I wish you all love and support in your journeys. I'll keep checking in here too :)

<3

Quote from: Adabelle on October 31, 2010, 12:41:21 PM
Hi all,

I'm 33 right now, and as I think about the possibility of transition I am looking for examples and stories of people who transitioned in their mid-30's. But it seems like it's hard to find examples and/or pictures of people who transitioned in their 30's. I'm seeing lots of examples of people who transitioned in their 20's, and then there's a number of people who talk about transitioning in their 40's and 50's. But for whatever reason not a lot on people in their 30's.

I just don't know what to expect. Part of my fear about transitioning is that it might be "too late" for me to transition, or that I might not pass or something. I suppose I just feel like there's not very many people in my age range that have talked about transitioning in their 30's. Oh how I wish I had addressed this all earlier in life, but as many of you have said you really can't address this stuff until you're ready to do it. Even now I'm not sure I'm ready, but I know that I am to the point in my mindset that the question must find some kind of resolution either way. Either I need to move forward, or accept my life as-is and find something to just "get by" for the rest of my years. I don't know how either of these are possible, but I hope to find the answers soon.

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone has any ideas about 30's transition in terms of how the body handles it, and whether or not they have friends who successfully transitioned around this age and turned out passable and happy. Am I right in thinking that I'm not seeing as many examples online of people who transitioned in their 30's? If so I wonder why that is.

You're in a very tough position, and I feel for you. :( I remember (like many of us do) the point in my life where I was faced with whether or not it would be wise to transition, and I was only age 20. Even at the young age of 20, I feared of not becoming "passable", and looking back, my fear wasn't unfounded.

After having transitioned for three years, and being very successful at it, I can say that I've even met 20-year-old transitioners who don't get day-to-day passing privilege. In my observation, at least around here, you either wind up passing if you started at 18 or sooner, or if you were an overall noticeably feminine "guy".

I've met a good deal of trans women in person. The oldest transitioners I've met, who get to enjoy passing privilege---even to the point of being able to make friends with people without having to reveal their trans status---are age 25 and age 27. Both were noticeably feminine to begin with.

Everyone else seems to have some sort of feature about them that inadvertently outs them, be it frame, height, or voice. So, in my experience, hearing that someone wants to transition in their 30s would cause me to think that they'll need a couple procedures to appear as cisgender. Short of that, I'd fully believe that they could become androgynous---but there's only so much that hormones can do.

Also, I know (in person) an individual who lives and identifies as male, but who has questioned his gender for quite some time. He's 32 and quite feminine for a "guy". Even he maintains, though, that transitioning would probably ruin his career and future prospects because of his bone structure being more masculine. His outlet is drag and cross-dressing, which still leaves him feeling unculminated and empty at times---but he leads an overall happy life.

So, that's my honest opinion. None of it is a critique, as I haven't even looked at your avatar, so as to be as unbiased as possible for you. I wish you luck.

K.C.

Quote from: femfem on April 30, 2017, 02:22:27 PM
You're in a very tough position, and I feel for you. :( I remember (like many of us do) the point in my life where I was faced with whether or not it would be wise to transition, and I was only age 20. Even at the young age of 20, I feared of not becoming "passable", and looking back, my fear wasn't unfounded.

After having transitioned for three years, and being very successful at it, I can say that I've even met 20-year-old transitioners who don't get day-to-day passing privilege. In my observation, at least around here, you either wind up passing if you started at 18 or sooner, or if you were an overall noticeably feminine "guy".

I've met a good deal of trans women in person. The oldest transitioners I've met, who get to enjoy passing privilege---even to the point of being able to make friends with people without having to reveal their trans status---are age 25 and age 27. Both were noticeably feminine to begin with.

Everyone else seems to have some sort of feature about them that inadvertently outs them, be it frame, height, or voice. So, in my experience, hearing that someone wants to transition in their 30s would cause me to think that they'll need a couple procedures to appear as cisgender. Short of that, I'd fully believe that they could become androgynous---but there's only so much that hormones can do.

Also, I know (in person) an individual who lives and identifies as male, but who has questioned his gender for quite some time. He's 32 and quite feminine for a "guy". Even he maintains, though, that transitioning would probably ruin his career and future prospects because of his bone structure being more masculine. His outlet is drag and cross-dressing, which still leaves him feeling unculminated and empty at times---but he leads an overall happy life.

So, that's my honest opinion. None of it is a critique, as I haven't even looked at your avatar, so as to be as unbiased as possible for you. I wish you luck.

K.C.

You're about 7 years late, and wrong. Check the post just before yours and you'll see that it's the OP saying how successful it's been, lol.

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QuoteYou're about 7 years late, and wrong. Check the post just before yours and you'll see that it's the OP saying how successful it's been, lol.

I was in my 30s when I first gave serious thought to GCS.  However, back then, the process was far more difficult and involved than today, so that's as far as it went.  As for age, I still feel that this is best done sooner than later, to get best results.  The kids today can get puberty blockers, to prevent the undesirable characteristics from developing, until they are old enough to agree to surgery, hormones etc.  That sort of thing was not an option when I was a kid.

I wish I had a smaller ribcage, but you learn to dress to your body shape. And I know I'm one of the "lucky" ones in that I'm only 5'6" tall and smallish, but fully living in the world as a girl is so much more enjoyable than living as a boy ever was.

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So after reading all the comment's in the post there might be a chance for me after all, I,m 45 only 5' 3" tall size 6 (UK) feet 32" waist  pretty fit & very long hair I,ve always worried what's to point of transitioning when I don't,t think I,m pretty enough or feminine to ever be a woman, there's some pretty amazing woman on this site so glad I joined I may be a newie here but I,ve Learnt so much already, THERE IS HOPE.

Just read the entire thread over the course of a few days and, my goodness, it was a rollercoaster, lol. Many different perspectives on age in relation to "success," and today I'm choosing to feel hopeful because I honestly don't have a choice. I plan to stay in therapy for as long as I can in order to feel comfortable in my own skin for once.

I'm 30 years old and have been "questioning" since I was ~16. Now I realize that all that questioning was really an attempt to wish it away. It was also fear grounded in reality: the difficulty of living in the world as a trans person of color terrifies me.

I'm in the process of finding a doctor to start medically transitioning. I'm excited and nervous and scared ->-bleeped-<-less.


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How have I not noticed this thread before? Even 7 years after the OP, I kept feeling the same way and have mentioned it a few times: people seem to skew towards the teens through 20s or 40s and up, with a seemingly far more sparsely populated stretch in the 30s. I'm guessing that it has something to do with most people being in the thick of relationships or careers the younger crowd do not tend to have as often, while simultaneously not having reached that critical build up point in dysphoria overtime.

I'm 35, praying I get half as good results from HRT from everyone in this thread. (Also, seriously, everyone saying they are 35-40 looks like they are 25. Same goes for everyone in other age groups, everyone looks 10-20 years younger. Well, except for the teens and 20s crowd. If they looked 10-20 years younger that would just be creepy.)

Personally I'm amazed at the progress I've made after starting my transition at the age of 30. I wasn't expecting much but I have and continue to change every day.

It's never too late!

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I think I may have some earlier posts in this thread, though as I'm now 40, I hope you won't mind my intrusion!
It absolutely can be done, and yes, it's never too late. We may not be teenagers,  but we certainly aren't old either!
I've been incredibly happy with the changes I've had from HRT and a little (ok alot) effort. X

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Wow! Really great transformation. How long have you been on hrt and pills or injections? Also how long have you been growing your hair in your last photo?

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I've been on HRT for 15 months and have been growing my hair for about 2 years :-)


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I was transitioning a little before I started HRT, then 3 years ago when I was 35 years old I started HRT.   As my previous male self I was a skinny runt (5'4" and perhaps 5'5" if I fluffed up my hair), no muscle or bulk and soft looking face, and my voice never did get really low... it was a nightmare as a high school young man and also in my 20's when I was going to university.

Now all of those miserable things as a male have worked for me in my transitioning.  I have been full time for about a year and a half and I think I am convincingly female in just about every way... I pass 100%...  so, all in all, it has been quite a thrilling and exciting transition.   

I do wish that I would have started much earlier like back when I went to university, the results would have been faster and even more convincing....   Like so many trans people... the lament that I have is "Why didn't I do this sooner?"

Danielle

Oh my god! Thank you everyone! And thank you Adabelle for starting this thread! I am 35 years old and I have constantly had these same fears and worries. I have kicked myself for not starting sooner (even though if I had, I might not have my amazing kids). This thread and all of you who have posted in it have given me so much hope for my future. :) While I have not read all of the posts here, I do plan to bookmark this site and read a little bit every day...especially those days I am feeling down. Everyone I have seen posting pictures on this thread, you are all so gorgeous and echoing a previous poster...I hope I look half as good as you all some day. :D

Anna Kristen

Oh hey! I forgot about this thread! It gave me so much hope when I started!! I finally feel like I have something to add to it with my most recent picture, so here goes!

(https://i.imgur.com/NoX8arb.jpg)


I don't look quite so good without makeup, but still! I started HRT at 35, about 2 months before I turned 36. I am now at only just over 5 months in, and if I put effort into it, I look like that. I was terrified 35 was too late, that I didn't have any chance at all at successfully pulling this off. That has proved to not be the case!

Even with hair loss (that's a wig in the picture). I had significant balding, getting close to barren on top, but it has regrown about 75% since starting the hair meds about 3 months before HRT. With a transplant coming up soon, and more hair growing in daily I have high hopes I will have the hair of a 20 something before too long. The things that hit us courtesy of testosterone around that age can often be overcome despite our worst fears!

30s are absolutely still young when it comes to hormonal effects, and I think this thread proves it!

Ellie you are absolutely gorgeous, hon! I am so hopeful about my journey now, more so than I've ever been, and I hope I will be just half as beautiful as you are. 😘😘

I so wish transition happened in my 30's! I waited until 53.... Had GCS at 54... It's never too late. No should have could have would haves. I have now been on HRT 1.5 years and feel great. I don't look awful for my age and the biggest thing is I am not angry or worried all the time now.

I started transition at the age of 35 and completed my transition at the age of 38.

I never considered 'passing' to be the goal of my transition, simply because I don't ever want to tie my happiness to other people's perceptions of me.

However, I have been extraordinarily lucky. I'm happy with my body AND I pass in pretty much all situations - even locker rooms, dating, and in bed with a guy.

This is a blessing, but it also comes with pitfalls. People in my office unwittingly make homophobic and transphobic jokes in front of me - some of them are pretty offensive. Dealing with normal conversational questions about the first 35 years of my life is tricky too. It's a lot of your life to erase or avoid talking about. I tend to make case by case decisions about how to deal with this. Sometimes I'll evade the questions, other times I'll choose to disclose.

In the beginning of transition, I was so worried about what people were thinking about me. At the end of transition, what I was really worried about was the sheer number of microagressions women deal with every day. It has taken me a long time to figure out new ways of communicating and influencing people - the kinds of behaviour traits that are desirable in men are socially punishable in women. Confidence, assertiveness, tenacity, competitiveness - these traits are not well received in women. I'm also a female in a male dominated industry. Men, very few of whom know my history, don't value my contribution, don't trust me, and expect me to provide their emotional support. It's a pretty big adjustment to deal with mid-way through your career.

FFS made the single biggest difference in the way other people perceived me. Since my FFS nobody has ever looked twice at me or read me as trans. That said, I still mourn for a lost youth sometimes.

I've been completely accepted by all cis females in my life. They have helped me grow, have been there for me whilst I changed emotionally, and have shared a lot of deeply personal experiences about their own lives. I've made friends who have laughed with me, cried with me, and welcomed me. I've learned more about sexual assault and the sinister side of gender as a structure of power than any MeToo movement could teach.

It's completely possible to have a successful transition in your thirties with a good endo and potentially a surgery or two. But it takes time. You will live several years of your life very visibly between genders. I had people call me ma'am and sir, sometimes both in the same sentence. Young kids on the train used to ask me point blank whether I was a boy or a girl - I never had an answer which would satisfy them. The CEO of my company sent an email to 1,000 of my business associates notifying them that I had changed my name and gender. If you're not too worried about what other people are thinking, if you are patient and just enjoy the little changes over time, transition in your 30's can be very successful.

Good luck.


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