Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Sly on November 11, 2010, 11:47:34 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sly on November 11, 2010, 11:47:34 AM
So far coming out has been pretty easy for me.  My parents both know and accept that I'm trans, and just a couple of days ago I asked them to stop calling me by female pronouns.  I'm out to a couple of friends too, but not my siblings or the rest of my family.  In a week I'll be going to stay with my dad for thanksgiving.  It'll be the first time I've seen him or any of my relatives (cept mom) since before I started transition.

I'm not really worried about my family's reaction.  But I'm prepared for the worst...
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Robert Scott on November 11, 2010, 11:50:17 AM
I hope all goes well with you!!!

I told my parents a week ago and haven't heard from them since
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Lee on November 11, 2010, 09:08:52 PM
I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of you.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: aidengabriel on November 11, 2010, 09:17:55 PM
You got a lot of guts! Hope your family can see your transitioning as something to be thankful for! :)
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Shang on November 11, 2010, 09:19:30 PM
Good luck! :D
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sada on November 11, 2010, 09:48:56 PM
bye
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: marleen on November 12, 2010, 03:31:14 AM
Good luck Sylvester
And to you as well Rob
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Debra on November 12, 2010, 05:03:35 PM
Hope it goes well! Glad you have some support already too =)
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sly on November 12, 2010, 07:41:02 PM
Thanks everyone!

I'm planning on coming out to some of my friends in the area too.  I have no idea how that's going to work out.  Even if it doesn't, I have my parent's support.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: xAndrewx on November 12, 2010, 07:42:46 PM
Good luck Sly!

Good luck to you as well Rob, hope they respond soon
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sly on November 20, 2010, 09:59:32 PM
Well my dad and his girlfriend have been wonderful.  They've both commented on how I seem to be much more confident and, like, I actually smile now.

The one person I'm worried about is my sister.  My dad has told me she's still calling me by my given name, and seems angry when he corrects her.  I haven't actually seen her in person yet, though.  Maybe once she sees how much happier I am she'll feel differently... but I'm not holding out a lot of hope for that.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Aegir on November 24, 2010, 07:53:23 AM
I know the temptation to do so is strong since everyone's together but PLEASE do not come out during a holiday gathering. It's a common mistake in the LGBT community to come out at thanksgiving/Christmas and it's a bad idea because during holidays everyone is stressed out and more likely to respond poorly than they are during the rest of the year because of it.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sly on November 24, 2010, 01:56:51 PM
Quote from: Aegir on November 24, 2010, 07:53:23 AM
I know the temptation to do so is strong since everyone's together but PLEASE do not come out during a holiday gathering. It's a common mistake in the LGBT community to come out at thanksgiving/Christmas and it's a bad idea because during holidays everyone is stressed out and more likely to respond poorly than they are during the rest of the year because of it.
It's a little late for that now... I've been talking to people, everyone who's going to be there already knows.  It'll just be the first time I've seen most of them since before transition.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: AmberM on November 24, 2010, 03:02:53 PM
I'm happy you have your parents unconditional love and acceptance. I hope and pray that all goes well with the rest of your family. Don't be afraid, stand tall and proud knowing you are a beloved child of God created in God's image, and forever loved and accepted. Don't let rejection or negative attitudes get to you. You are stronger than those negative emotions. Explain calmly, gently that this is who you are, and you desire to make this transition because it is about your happiness, and your well being and becoming the man you have always known yourself to be. Also explain to them that they while they may lose a daughter they are gaining a son, and you still remain the great person with the same personality.
Title: Re: Coming out to the whole family this thanksgiving
Post by: Sly on November 25, 2010, 06:05:54 PM
Well, my sister didn't give me any trouble, opting for just ignoring me instead.  I'm a little offended that she wouldn't make eye contact and refused to hug me goodbye, but what can ya do?  I sent her a text a little while ago, basically saying that I understand she's uncomfortable and I'll do my best to answer any questions she has.  If she still doesn't want to talk.. I guess that's that.

Not too bothered by it, really.