Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Clay on November 16, 2010, 04:43:35 PM Return to Full Version
Title: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: Clay on November 16, 2010, 04:43:35 PM
Post by: Clay on November 16, 2010, 04:43:35 PM
so, few days ago i was at work and basically idling about since it was a really lame day. a
couple came in and wished to get some recommendations on horror flicks so i showed them
around and talked to them for quite some time. they seemed to be nice folks and i was joking
around with the guy, who seemed to like me....
the bought something, vanished and i went back to idling.
then, an hour or so later, that guy was on the phone, babbling and struggling to get to his
point..... he said that his girlfriend thinks i'm a girl and they were now basically
fighting about it.... UHM. you could take that as rather rude, but he seemed so
uncomfortable and apologised a hundred times, i found it rather cute, and he really seemed
interested in what i had to say... so i shortly gave him some educational talk^^ afterwards
he was all like "dude, really? that's awesome, you're such a nice guy".
alright, that's not exactly the point, just thought i share...
point really is: i thought that usually opening my mouth is my downfall, but it seems to
work every now and then, and i really talked to him quite a while...
we were already discussing the point of having some kind of "trouble" with passing and
girls, so i just overlook that part^^
couple came in and wished to get some recommendations on horror flicks so i showed them
around and talked to them for quite some time. they seemed to be nice folks and i was joking
around with the guy, who seemed to like me....
the bought something, vanished and i went back to idling.
then, an hour or so later, that guy was on the phone, babbling and struggling to get to his
point..... he said that his girlfriend thinks i'm a girl and they were now basically
fighting about it.... UHM. you could take that as rather rude, but he seemed so
uncomfortable and apologised a hundred times, i found it rather cute, and he really seemed
interested in what i had to say... so i shortly gave him some educational talk^^ afterwards
he was all like "dude, really? that's awesome, you're such a nice guy".
alright, that's not exactly the point, just thought i share...
point really is: i thought that usually opening my mouth is my downfall, but it seems to
work every now and then, and i really talked to him quite a while...
we were already discussing the point of having some kind of "trouble" with passing and
girls, so i just overlook that part^^
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: utouto on November 16, 2010, 11:01:45 PM
Post by: utouto on November 16, 2010, 11:01:45 PM
Nice!
This only happens with kids for me, but recently I tutored a bunch of kids and they all thought I was male, and that pretty much blew away doubt of my gender in the people who are my age. Feels so great when you pass like that :)
This only happens with kids for me, but recently I tutored a bunch of kids and they all thought I was male, and that pretty much blew away doubt of my gender in the people who are my age. Feels so great when you pass like that :)
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: Michael Joseph on November 17, 2010, 12:55:13 AM
Post by: Michael Joseph on November 17, 2010, 12:55:13 AM
Quote from: utouto on November 16, 2010, 11:01:45 PM
Nice!
This only happens with kids for me, but recently I tutored a bunch of kids and they all thought I was male, and that pretty much blew away doubt of my gender in the people who are my age. Feels so great when you pass like that :)
That used to be how it was for me, kids always going "mom, mom is that a boy or girl?" Like right in front of me. I thought it was funny. I liked seeing what the parents had to say too. I felt really bad though once because it happened at work when I was serving people their food and the mom slapped the kids hand and was like "Dont you ever do that again, that is very rude!"
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: Alessandro on November 17, 2010, 11:41:45 AM
Post by: Alessandro on November 17, 2010, 11:41:45 AM
Quote from: michaeljay on November 17, 2010, 12:55:13 AM
That used to be how it was for me, kids always going "mom, mom is that a boy or girl?" Like right in front of me. I thought it was funny. I liked seeing what the parents had to say too. I felt really bad though once because it happened at work when I was serving people their food and the mom slapped the kids hand and was like "Dont you ever do that again, that is very rude!"
That's happened to me before. Except the parents didn't do anything, just stared at me, not answering the question and letting me get more and more embarassed.
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: caleb727 on November 17, 2010, 11:53:56 AM
Post by: caleb727 on November 17, 2010, 11:53:56 AM
that's an awesome story.... it definitely was important that you were able to make an educational moment out of the awkwardness...
yeah, i've definitely been asked by little children "what i am"... i find that it's easiest to just say, i'm a boy, i may not look like a typical boy that you see, but that doesn't make me any less of one. when i said that to a little kid they totally took it in and were accepting, and it's always nice to influence little children positively :)
yeah, i've definitely been asked by little children "what i am"... i find that it's easiest to just say, i'm a boy, i may not look like a typical boy that you see, but that doesn't make me any less of one. when i said that to a little kid they totally took it in and were accepting, and it's always nice to influence little children positively :)
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: Izumi on November 17, 2010, 01:07:17 PM
Post by: Izumi on November 17, 2010, 01:07:17 PM
Quote from: michaeljay on November 17, 2010, 12:55:13 AM
That used to be how it was for me, kids always going "mom, mom is that a boy or girl?" Like right in front of me. I thought it was funny. I liked seeing what the parents had to say too. I felt really bad though once because it happened at work when I was serving people their food and the mom slapped the kids hand and was like "Dont you ever do that again, that is very rude!"
Well if you want honesty a child is the way to go. Do you pass, if a kid thinks so, your good. Actually a 3 year old child is what got me to go full time. I was doing my laundry and one of the other tenant's kid walked by, I turned around, without my hair done, no makeup, and wearing pretty much unisex clothing, the kid smiled and said, "hello Lady". Next day, i was full time RLE.
So they are both a blessing or a curse depending on how you see it.
Title: Re: had a strange but funny encounter
Post by: Sean on November 17, 2010, 01:29:37 PM
Post by: Sean on November 17, 2010, 01:29:37 PM
I actually disagree with the "kids really get us" comment.
Children between the ages of 3 to 6 are first learning about sex differences. As young children who only see black & white, they can be extremely harsh and rigid in how they adopt the social constructs of gender. And they are incapable of explaining or understanding what makes someone a man or woman except through biology (you have a penis, you don't) or via blatant sex stereotypes (you have long hair and wear a dress or don't).
Researchers looking at sex and gender differences in children in North America have found that even when adults try to adopt and teach broader norms of gender expression, children within that age group often reinforce sex stereotyping amongst themselves. Meaning: adults can teach the kids that boys can play with dolls,have long hair &wear pink and girls can play with trucks, have short hair, & wear blue, and many of the kids themselves react very strongly against this when they play and interact with each other. In Western culture, children are basically bombared with sex stereotypes as an explanation of gender, and the vast majority aim to "police" those around them to follow these constructs.
The reason that young children often view us as our gender correctly is not tha they are innocent and pure and see our true nature. It is that many of us are deliberately projecting/sending sex stereotyping messages in some of the most superficial ways: how we dress, wear our hair, etc. It is working with these kids. You wear boy clothes and a boy's hair cut....bingo...you're a boy!
Absolutely nothing wrong with this, and I get that it feels good when it happens, because passing is passing. But I caution people into reading too much from how a 5 year old view your gender, because as much fun as 5 year olds can be, if we reinforce their assessments of our gender, all we have done is tell them that sex stereotypes are right & that they should feel they have to conform as well with a framework where boys wear short hair, pants and blue, girls wear long hair, dresses and pink.
Children between the ages of 3 to 6 are first learning about sex differences. As young children who only see black & white, they can be extremely harsh and rigid in how they adopt the social constructs of gender. And they are incapable of explaining or understanding what makes someone a man or woman except through biology (you have a penis, you don't) or via blatant sex stereotypes (you have long hair and wear a dress or don't).
Researchers looking at sex and gender differences in children in North America have found that even when adults try to adopt and teach broader norms of gender expression, children within that age group often reinforce sex stereotyping amongst themselves. Meaning: adults can teach the kids that boys can play with dolls,have long hair &wear pink and girls can play with trucks, have short hair, & wear blue, and many of the kids themselves react very strongly against this when they play and interact with each other. In Western culture, children are basically bombared with sex stereotypes as an explanation of gender, and the vast majority aim to "police" those around them to follow these constructs.
The reason that young children often view us as our gender correctly is not tha they are innocent and pure and see our true nature. It is that many of us are deliberately projecting/sending sex stereotyping messages in some of the most superficial ways: how we dress, wear our hair, etc. It is working with these kids. You wear boy clothes and a boy's hair cut....bingo...you're a boy!
Absolutely nothing wrong with this, and I get that it feels good when it happens, because passing is passing. But I caution people into reading too much from how a 5 year old view your gender, because as much fun as 5 year olds can be, if we reinforce their assessments of our gender, all we have done is tell them that sex stereotypes are right & that they should feel they have to conform as well with a framework where boys wear short hair, pants and blue, girls wear long hair, dresses and pink.