Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Melody Maia on November 22, 2010, 11:23:05 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: Melody Maia on November 22, 2010, 11:23:05 PM
Post by: Melody Maia on November 22, 2010, 11:23:05 PM
In late July, I sat at my parents table in Florida, exactly where I am sitting at right this second, and posted my introduction to Susan's through a haze of tears. I had finally accepted that I was trans and I left that very day to go home to Texas and tell my wife. A lot has happened in the nearly four months since. I started my transition in earnest with HRT and my wife and I are getting a divorce. In this season of Thanksgiving here in the US, I want to thank all of you on Susan's who have held my hand throughout my journey so far. You have helped me greatly and I hope I have helped others in turn.
Now that I am out and back here, things feel strange. I had dinner with a good male friend last night and I could tell he was having trouble finding a new way to relate to me. At times I almost felt like he was forcing me into a male mold that I was a bit uncomfortable with, but he was actually more comfortable with. Of course, I will be patient. This is new to both of us. Funny thing was our male waiter, who I pegged as gay as soon as walked in the place, kept coming over to our table and putting his hand on my shoulder. He did this repeatedly and I would look up and smile at him. It was almost like a gentle reminder that things were not as they were before and I actually was able to draw some reassurance from that.
Later that night, I went to my mom's house (my dad passed exactly 6 months ago) and we sat down and talked some more. I hadn't seen her in person since I came out and it felt good to be myself for the first time with her. She remarked how I had lost weight and how my face looked healthier. Smoother, younger and with a more even skin tone. My sister said that my face now felt like a baby's butt ;D All that made me feel good as I hadn't been seeing a lot of progress from my HRT, but since I upped the dose a couple of weeks ago, small things like my skin softening and improving in quality have happened. I am happier and looking forward to the changes yet to come.
So, next step is to get a job. I may plant my flag here in Florida for a bit. I feel like I need to get away and find myself. This may be the perfect place for me to do that for awhile.
Again, thank you to all of you here on Susan's. May you find peace and prosperity in this holiday season and I hope the new year brings all your hearts desire. Good luck to the upcoming GRS class of '11. I hope to join you in '12!
Now that I am out and back here, things feel strange. I had dinner with a good male friend last night and I could tell he was having trouble finding a new way to relate to me. At times I almost felt like he was forcing me into a male mold that I was a bit uncomfortable with, but he was actually more comfortable with. Of course, I will be patient. This is new to both of us. Funny thing was our male waiter, who I pegged as gay as soon as walked in the place, kept coming over to our table and putting his hand on my shoulder. He did this repeatedly and I would look up and smile at him. It was almost like a gentle reminder that things were not as they were before and I actually was able to draw some reassurance from that.
Later that night, I went to my mom's house (my dad passed exactly 6 months ago) and we sat down and talked some more. I hadn't seen her in person since I came out and it felt good to be myself for the first time with her. She remarked how I had lost weight and how my face looked healthier. Smoother, younger and with a more even skin tone. My sister said that my face now felt like a baby's butt ;D All that made me feel good as I hadn't been seeing a lot of progress from my HRT, but since I upped the dose a couple of weeks ago, small things like my skin softening and improving in quality have happened. I am happier and looking forward to the changes yet to come.
So, next step is to get a job. I may plant my flag here in Florida for a bit. I feel like I need to get away and find myself. This may be the perfect place for me to do that for awhile.
Again, thank you to all of you here on Susan's. May you find peace and prosperity in this holiday season and I hope the new year brings all your hearts desire. Good luck to the upcoming GRS class of '11. I hope to join you in '12!
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: annette on November 23, 2010, 09:49:15 AM
Post by: annette on November 23, 2010, 09:49:15 AM
Hi Melody
it seems that you are on track now.
Good to read that everything is going right for you.
I'll hope you'll find a job.
a new year, new chances.
all the best for you in '11
hugs annette
it seems that you are on track now.
Good to read that everything is going right for you.
I'll hope you'll find a job.
a new year, new chances.
all the best for you in '11
hugs annette
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: Melody Maia on November 23, 2010, 04:34:23 PM
Post by: Melody Maia on November 23, 2010, 04:34:23 PM
Thanks Annette. May the new year be kind to you too.
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: Colleen Ireland on November 23, 2010, 06:38:30 PM
Post by: Colleen Ireland on November 23, 2010, 06:38:30 PM
Melody, you've had a very interesting year - rough times, but good times too, I hope. Glad we could share them with you, and rest assured we will be here as you go through the next year, too, and we're every bit as interested in your continuing story, because, well, each of us has our own story, and the differences are just as important as the similarities, and we can all take comfort that we're not alone. You've made a good start, girl! I hope you land on your feet, and everything starts looking better.
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: A on November 23, 2010, 06:58:57 PM
Post by: A on November 23, 2010, 06:58:57 PM
You sure are on the right way. Good luck to you, and stay tuned with us !
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: azSam on November 23, 2010, 07:39:57 PM
Post by: azSam on November 23, 2010, 07:39:57 PM
Melody. You are making wonderful progress. It's unfortunate about your wife, but here's hoping that things continue to get better in the future. Congrats on the HRT.
If I may ask, whereabouts in florida? I live in Orlando, and there is a fairly large group of us here.
If I may ask, whereabouts in florida? I live in Orlando, and there is a fairly large group of us here.
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: Melody Maia on November 23, 2010, 08:21:37 PM
Post by: Melody Maia on November 23, 2010, 08:21:37 PM
Quote from: SamanthaFLA on November 23, 2010, 07:39:57 PM
Melody. You are making wonderful progress. It's unfortunate about your wife, but here's hoping that things continue to get better in the future. Congrats on the HRT.
If I may ask, whereabouts in florida? I live in Orlando, and there is a fairly large group of us here.
Thank you ladies. This time next year, I expect my life will be quite different. I hope much better.
Samantha, very nearby in Clermont. I had asked you about the glbcc in another thread and had wanted to go tonight, but unfortunately I checked their calendar and looks like no meeting tonight. Guess it was because of the holidays. Staying through next Tuesday, but hopping a flight back to Texas that night so can't go then either. I should be back soon.
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: V M on November 23, 2010, 08:25:52 PM
Post by: V M on November 23, 2010, 08:25:52 PM
Right on Melody... Best wishes to you :)
*HUGS*
*HUGS*
Title: Re: Giving thanks back where it all began for me
Post by: azSam on November 23, 2010, 08:53:23 PM
Post by: azSam on November 23, 2010, 08:53:23 PM
Quote from: Melody on November 23, 2010, 08:21:37 PM
Thank you ladies. This time next year, I expect my life will be quite different. I hope much better.
Samantha, very nearby in Clermont. I had asked you about the glbcc in another thread and had wanted to go tonight, but unfortunately I checked their calendar and looks like no meeting tonight. Guess it was because of the holidays. Staying through next Tuesday, but hopping a flight back to Texas that night so can't go then either. I should be back soon.
It's only the first 3 Tuesdays of the month, I think next Tuesday will have a meeting though. Let me know when you might be attending, I'm excited to meet you ;D