Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm thinking about what I want out of transition, and thought I'd make a list:

- Chemical castration. The idea of becoming a father is repugnant to me. I want to be a mother, but being a father is 180 degrees removed from that. The ability to father a child is worse than the inability to give birth to one.
- Removal of genitals. They hurt, get in the way, and are generally uncomfortable. Getting rid of them I'd want to even without proper SRS.
- SRS. Yes, on top of the above. This is a point by itself. I want to be able to have sex, and with my current equipment the experience is just traumatic and unnatural. Not to mention that without a vagina, I feel incomplete.
- Breast growth. Preferably to a decently large size, like a C-cup. Once again, without them I feel incomplete. My brain pretty much interprets their abscence as injury. I also want others to see that I have breasts, and I want the reaction they get.
- No male-pattern balding. My current hair style - long - is a result of me rebelling against male pattern balding. I have none yet, but I was determined to "make up for" the expected hair loss in the future by having a lot of it now.
- Loss of body hair. The stuff is icky and disgusting, and I can't stand it, but shaving it off has little use since it's back next day.
- No more beard growth. I don't have a lot, but again - it grows out so fast, and is so disgusting. I can't understand why anyone would ever grow it out.
- Softer skin. I can see no downside to softer skin, really - it becomes more pleasant to the touch, both for me and others, and arguably better looking.
- Less oily skin and hair. The stuff gets dirty so fast, I pretty much either have to shower every day or live with the filth.
- Greater intensity of emotions. At the moment, my emotional state is mostly "neutral", and that bothers me.
- Better sense of smell. Honestly, why wouldn't I want to improve one of my senses?
- Strength loss. Yes, this is a positive - I've always been deeply uncomfortable with being physically stronger than most women, despite trying not to, so losing that will be only for the best.
- Voice training. My current voice sounds like a truck of gravel tumbling down a quarry-side inside my own head, and I can't stand it. Also - I want to be able to sing. Properly. Not like guys do.
- Loss of depression. Seriously, I'd like that thing gone from my brain now, ok? It's no longer welcome. Never really was, and has only gotten less so.
- Fat redistribution. Because nothing is uglier than a paunch, and though I don't really have one, I'm too close for comfort.
- Hip growth. I want my hip bones to grow. Not a lot, but at least a little bit. I also want my shoulders and rib cage to shrink, but... tough luck.
- Longer spine. I want the area below my ribs and above my pelvis to be longer. Not much, again, but a bit.
- Bigger eyes. No idea if this can happen, but I want bigger eyes.
- Erogenous zones. I pretty much only have one, apart from the Horror From Beyond Time And Space, and I'd like more.
- Trachea shave. My Adam's apple is this pathetic little, jutting spike, about the size and shape of a liquorice boat. It just looks stupid, and I want it gone.
- Loss of dysphoria. 'Cause that stuff is what makes my days hard, not the depression.
- Confidence in my own body. Because I want to be able to show off my torso, or legs, without cringing, and I want to be able to go outside without a thick coat and black, baggy shirt without feeling like an abomination.

The rest - being accepted and treated like a woman, access to women's clothes and stuff instead of the boring men's stuff, etc. - are all social. The above are the medical things.


Dear experienced ladies (and occasional curious gentleman) who are familiar with the effects of HRT: Which are realistic, and which are pie-in-the-sky (likely to begin HRT at 23)?

And what do/did you want out of transition?

Hips and spine probably won't change hugely, but at your age, there's probably a chance.  Pretty much everything else is very plausible.

I want all of the same things except I've never thought about the spine and I'd rather not get rid of my genitals completely without SRS.  (Orchi is fine, but I want to keep the "clitoris" I have unless I can get SRS to improve it.)

Also, your voice doesn't sound like that outside of your head.  It's nowhere near that bad. :)

I do not know if you are seeing an endo and starting a formal transition, but starting a formal transition would yield most of your requests.

I hear you on the hips.  I would love wider hips.

Quote from: sarahla on December 01, 2010, 11:50:55 PM
I do not know if you are seeing an endo and starting a formal transition, but starting a formal transition would yield most of your requests.

I hear you on the hips.  I would love wider hips.

I'm waiting to be referred. *sigh*

Here's to hoping you get the hips you want.

Quote from: Mara on December 01, 2010, 10:58:38 PM
Hips and spine probably won't change hugely, but at your age, there's probably a chance.  Pretty much everything else is very plausible.

I want all of the same things except I've never thought about the spine and I'd rather not get rid of my genitals completely without SRS.  (Orchi is fine, but I want to keep the "clitoris" I have unless I can get SRS to improve it.)

Also, your voice doesn't sound like that outside of your head.  It's nowhere near that bad. :)

I don't need a huge amount of change there - just a bit.

And my voice is horrible :/ .

what happens if at 23 you are in a deep relationship with a girl? or a guy?
start with the therapy to avoid embarrassment and shocks.

I'm 30 and my hips seem to have widened slightly, so nothing is impossible.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 02, 2010, 10:18:28 AM
what happens if at 23 you are in a deep relationship with a girl? or a guy?
start with the therapy to avoid embarrassment and shocks.

I've been pushing and pushing for 4 months to get HRT. Your advice is well-meant, but misplaced - send that to my shrink.

And I'm already in a relationship. My partner is trans, too, and knew I was before she saw my face.

A lot of that can happen with HRT and surgery. As some have said, the bones don't change much with hormones. In some cases there are other ways but whether they're healthy or not is kind of subjective.

As for bigger eyes, I think because of the way I do makeup, I do get this.

All of that is possible to happen. You never really know because hormones affect everyone differently.

For me I wanted most of the things you want. I got some of them. My skin is softer, my hair much less oily, my hips have widened a little bit, my breasts are at a B right now (I want a C, but it might not happen), I am for sure less strong than I was. My voice changed a little bit with hormones and I honestly don't want to change my voice I don't want to sound fake.

Overall I am satisfied with what the hormones have done. I am at a place where I really want the surgery, but can't get it due to lack of funds. I would settle for getting those evil T producing things removed, but I don't have the money for that either.

Quote from: Jerica on December 02, 2010, 01:01:20 PM
A lot of that can happen with HRT and surgery. As some have said, the bones don't change much with hormones. In some cases there are other ways but whether they're healthy or not is kind of subjective.

As for bigger eyes, I think because of the way I do makeup, I do get this.

Yep, there are eye makeup tricks you can use. Having your eyebrows clear and groomed helps as well as curling your lashes. White eyeliner on the bottom lids can help too. and so many more ways to apply eye shadow and liner.

Reading this reminds me how alike we are, actually. I think the exact same as you, or almost, on every point. Did I subconsciously copy you ?

Anyway, back to topic.

All of the effects you list are POSSIBLE transition effects. Some, however (bone shrinking), are (almost?) impossible past 18, some are unproved (eye shape) and some are unlikely to be significant (bone modification whatsoever). The rest, however, is likely or certain, I think.

Hug !