Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: juliemac on December 05, 2010, 06:47:44 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 05, 2010, 06:47:44 PM
I have been single for most of my life, but want to change that.
The guy I was seeing over the years has stopped after I had surgery. He must have liked the "other" parts better.

I tried a few of the better known web sites and just didn't seem to get any where. I entered looking for within 100 miles and I get emails from Illinois. So why bother.

The guys at work will flirt with my BFF (blond, curvy and sexy), they either know I am different or I scare them. Dont know which.

I dont go to bars, my job requires intense concentration so I am burned out when I get home.

Any suggestions where I might meet some one girls?
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: lisagurl on December 05, 2010, 07:01:49 PM
Many want a partner to have children with and hate the dating game. Volunteering in something that is important to you will open up your scope to people that like the same things you do. If your job burns you out consider changing the situation.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 05, 2010, 07:22:03 PM
I am setting up a business plan and hope to escape the 9-5 by spring.

I do need to get out, but dont drink. Maybe I should start again? (20 years dry!)

AND.. I am 53 years old. Kids are out of the question  :)
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: tekla on December 05, 2010, 07:25:35 PM
The number of people who go to clubs and such and don't drink alcohol is larger than you think.  Order a Coke and tip well, it's all good.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: spacial on December 05, 2010, 07:37:24 PM
Please don't start drinking alcohol again. It's such a silly habit and though drinkers like to distance themselves from drug users, it is exactly the same. Using a mind altering chemical to deal with precieved difficulities.

As for meeting someone, may I suggest you just start talking to people. Sooner or later, you will, and I mean WILL, bump into someone who is just like you and finds you facinating.

My own exprience is that the less you think about it, the more likely it is to happen.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 05, 2010, 09:22:57 PM
If you ever figure out how to met guys let me know.  I am tired of the bar/club scene.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 06, 2010, 05:57:42 AM
SRS is complete and, thats why I was single.
Seems to be pre-op scares most men... Wonder why  :)

Its off to work with me. Ahhhh for a longer weekend.....
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: Cruelladeville on December 06, 2010, 06:06:23 AM
Hey Julie...

Yer only slighty older than me....by one year....lol

In the UK dating sites did work for me, but the process was oft arduous and disheartening....

Though the benefit of being post-op for decades is I've had a long time to settle into my girlie life....

Hobbies are a good way to meet chaps, skiing and sailing worked very well for me...

But required learning.... I did many RYA courses some years back.

Seek and thou shalt find....

Good luck


PS: keep off the booze all those calories and no energy benefit at all!
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 07, 2010, 08:31:37 PM
I joined  a car club. International yet. Had a lot of fun.
Then... One bad night on a gay web site.....

I wrote to my gay friend about what happened. Clicked on his name for the "to" field and clicked send....

A few seconds later I got a copy of it.... I sent the mail to the whole list of car owners... In a panic, I logged out. Deleted my login and went to bed crying.

Next morning, I got a slew of email from individuals. A few days went by and calls started.....

I am back on the list, the oldest female and having fun again, but STILL not getting laid...
Sheesh
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: Debra on December 08, 2010, 11:38:41 AM
Not sure if you've tried this one yet but Okcupid.com has a lot of people on it and it's free. I've met and dated a lot from there
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: peggygee on December 11, 2010, 03:28:19 PM
Quote from: juliemac on December 05, 2010, 07:22:03 PM
I am setting up a business plan and hope to escape the 9-5 by spring.

I do need to get out, but dont drink. Maybe I should start again? (20 years dry!)

AND.. I am 53 years old. Kids are out of the question  :)

I am a year or so older than you. I used to have a very bad drug and alcohol problem, been clean and sober for about 15 years now.

What is interesting is whenever I would go into a bar, I would meet and come out with someone. Now that I don't drink that has changed quite a bit. I feel that it is because alcohol is such a social lubricant. I don't need the alcohol to start a conversation, as I am very out-going, but others may feel the need to.

I don't do the bar / club scene, not because I feel that I might pick up again, I'm just not into it.

I have tried a number of mainstream sites with varying degrees of success, but in large part I am married to my career.

I do feel that finding Mr. or Mrs. Right will occur in the real world, when I least expect it.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 08:12:29 AM
I am a year or so older than you. I used to have a very bad drug and alcohol problem, been clean and sober for about 15 years now.

>I stopped the drugs and drinking im May 1990 after several weeks of a lock down ward at a hospital. Sober >ever since. My little stay convinced the Doctors I needed to transition (10 years of counselling was enough).

I don't do the bar / club scene, not because I feel that I might pick up again, I'm just not into it.

>I agree, I was always afraid of saying something "incorrect" and having people "discover me". You know as I typed that, I realised, that the fear of discovery with in me has lessened. I am more comfortable in my body than before.


I have tried a number of mainstream sites with varying degrees of success, but in large part I am married to my career.

> Yeah. I know the feeling. I have "projects" that I build that take months/years to develop and keep mebusy. I found that I "hide" from the world by doing that though.

I do feel that finding Mr. or Mrs. Right will occur in the real world, when I least expect it.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 12:35:49 PM
After 4 months he called last night.
I want to "try" some things, but dont want to feel dirty for being "used".

I am going to say NO. Its a matter of self respect this time.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 08:04:25 PM
D**m it.
I think the Victorias Secret thong and a silk night gown was too much for him.
Maybe next time it will be a flannel night gown and a terry towl bath robe.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: ameliat on December 12, 2010, 08:10:23 PM
Julie are you saying he did not want you in that sexy outfit? !
Amelia
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 08:34:58 PM
Quite sure it was very much to his liking  :)
It was over WAY to fast.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: regan on December 13, 2010, 12:46:38 PM
Quote from: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 08:34:58 PM
Quite sure it was very much to his liking  :)
It was over WAY to fast.

Maybe that's why he left?  Not becuase of you, but becuase of him.
Title: Re: Meeting and dating guys
Post by: Debra on December 13, 2010, 04:21:55 PM
Quote from: juliemac on December 12, 2010, 08:34:58 PM
Quite sure it was very much to his liking  :)
It was over WAY to fast.

LOL well on one hand you really did it for him ;)

On the other hand, I can imagine the disappointment hehe

Hopefully better with time