Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I should probably offer some back ground before placing my thoughts here. So here are some details.
I am male by birth, was born in 1967 so I'm not spring chicken and still hopeful of feeling young, te-he.

When I was younger I really had no interest in sports of any sort. Contact sports were the worst for me.  I had two older sister's and occasionally played with they're dolls.  Sometimes, when I was very young IE: 5 years old. I seemed to be they're doll as they dressed me up like one anyway. Of course that stopped. I'm not sure but I think it was my father that put an end to that. 

I got older and never really enjoyed boy play and as I grew to age 12 I found myself at home alone a lot. My sisters older then I had boyfriends and things to do all summer and my parents worked.  Dad often away from home for periods of time and mom worked days.

Of course this gave me sometime to live out my fantasies a little and I did indulge myself with dress up. Often with my mother or sisters cloths, which I was very careful to re fold and replace exactly as I found them so that I would not be found out. I even played with makeup and felt so right when I looked at myself in the mirror.

That all soon ended when I made a mistake.  I had to try nail polish and then failed to clean it all off. My parents did not notice but my sisters did and they soon began to tease saying I was gay. 

Problem since I did not know how to view myself.  The painful experience changed me. I stopped dressing up insisted I join sports my father became excited and put me into boxing classes so I could do what he did as a youth.  I utterly failed at all of it.  I hated each moment and eventually I took up fishing. 
Yes a non sport really but it was a boy thing to do and I liked it because I could be alone on the water and at least inside I could be me while at the same time appearing masculine for my family. I developed a hidden case of depression one could say.

More to follow
Hugs Glena

(Fast Forward to 1980 - 2000): Because of my almost always depressed state I really didn't do well in school.
I didn't want to do what the boys my age were doing and couldn't readily spend time with the girls because I didn't want to be labeled.

Same story I hid things from other people and myself. I graduated high school and went into industry taking a welding job making wood stoves, heat and air conditioning vents etc.  Hating the job hating my life.

Eventually I met my Ex wife. She was with a highly abusive man at the time, they were married they lived up stairs from me so I heard ever detail twice. First time as it happened IE loud yelling a lot of it.  Secondly when she cried on my shoulder about it.  My mistake is, I fell in love. Oh goodness it was a good first year for me. But she would often ask me if I found her un attractive. 

Try as I may I was having trouble with becoming aroused with her.  Occasionally it worked and I of course blamed myself but not for the right reasons.  At any rate the relationship failed.

More to follow
Hugs Glena

(Fast forward to present day): I'm a 43 year old male and I have never thought of myself as gay.  I was married once for a few years but it didn't work out.  I've been terribly frightened of relationships ever since, and to the point of not dating at all in the last 8 years. I've always felt somewhat un comfortable with my body and I associated more with Woman then Men. I am currently primary care giver for my 90 year old father and 86 year old mother. Whom I've recently moved into the same building as I live in directly across the hall.  So that I can cook and do some cleaning, driving for them. I feel strongly about keeping them happy in they're golden years.

I've lived with chronic debilitating depression for the last 8 years or so and suffered from mild depression before that for as long as I can remember.

I came out to myself here on this website in the introductions forum a couple days ago. Today I talked to my mom hinting at things brushing the topic of Transexual people and SRS using the having read about it on the internet as a way of bringing it into conversation with my mom.  She seemed sympathetic to those people but I am not sure if she associated the topic with me.  Maybe later I will find a way to ease the news to her and dad.  I don't know.

Hugs Glena

Now where to start?  I live in Ontario Canada.
I know in my heart that I am woman but my body is truly that of a portly broad middle aged man. I have to admit I am frightened by all of this. But I absolutely have to do something I have to get my life back I have to be me.

Any Advice anything at all would be greatly appreciated. 

Hugs Glena

Welcome, Glena - you're not far from me.  I'm in the GTA.  There are a number of us here, more or less in your neighborhood.  So don't feel alone.  I'm kind of in a rush at the moment, but I'll write more later.  Glad to have you around.

Glena, your story has a lot of similarities to mine, and I know a few others on this site... You are not alone.  I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this pain.  Like you, I found contact sports to be something that was completely foreign to me; I still do to this day.  I just don't get it! That is not to say I like some other recreational activities that are sometimes sports: like rock climbing or skiing, yes those 'non-sports'.  I can definitely emphasize with being afraid of relationships and the depression... For me at least, the way I express emotionally and physicality in a relationship is more congruent with the opposite gender.  This often leads to major depression on my part, and a partner who is confused and I would say dissatisfied with what I want. Just putting in my input, glad to see you are here :)

Hello, this is prolly the first time i read a whole post that is so long, and that i had interest to! like some others said, i realy saw myself in your story, beside few details, oh and i am not far from ontario either ^ ^  anyways, i realy hope it turn out well with your mother, mine dint took it very well, and thats realy not something i wish to anyone else : \

Quote from: Glena on December 06, 2010, 06:54:52 PM

Try as I may I was having trouble with becoming aroused with her.  Occasionally it worked and I of course blamed myself but not for the right reasons.  At any rate the relationship failed.

More to follow
Hugs Glena

I'm sure a lot of us know that problem well. I'm one of the lucky ones, in that I married a woman of incredable patience and tolerance.

Really pleased for you, finding yourself. This is the place to do it.

 :-\ Well Today I attempted to pave the road to telling my mom what I feel I am,  I sat her down at the computer and actually logged onto this website. I started showing her before and after pictures of all of you lovely ladies that are undergoing HRT and other processes during your transitions.  She was amazed and said in many cases she couldn't tell at all and in most cases everyone looked very feminine.

Of course she found some distraction to turn to and my planned moment of revelation was suspended for a bit.  So she wanted to go shopping as normal I drove her but out of the norm.  She insisted Dad go along. I wish to tell mom first alone just her and I.  So another opportunity passed by. 

With the shopping done, my 90 year old father decided to go do his e-mails and then have a nap.  Here I think, now is the time.  I make coffee bring her one sit down, begin to carefully formulate my thoughts and mom picks up the phone and proceeds to start a hour long conversation with a family friend.

Coincidence or is it possible she knows and just doesn't want to hear me say it? 

On other fronts I have determined to make an appointment with my GP, to tell him about this and ask for a referral.  Colleen recommended a support group that is local to me and I e-mailed the leader of the group for information.

I am currently an emotional ball of relief, fear, trepidation, anxiety and determination.

Somehow it help's to write this down and know there are others out there that can identify with me.
Thank you all for even looking at my musings.

Hugs Glena.

Quote from: Glena on December 07, 2010, 03:05:40 PMI am currently an emotional ball of relief, fear, trepidation, anxiety and determination.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.  You're among family here.

Glena,
Hello neighbor I'm over in Michigan and have enjoyed visiting Ontario for years.
Anyway do you have a gender therapy? That's a good place to start.
You sure are having a time at telling your mom. Just keep trying and it will work out.
Maybe you just need to sit her down and say "Mom, I need to talk to you."
And then just tell her.

QuoteI am currently an emotional ball of relief, fear, trepidation, anxiety and determination.

Yes most of us feel that way often.
Your not alone girl.
Yes keep writing, it good therapy.
I know sharing with others always helps me.
Jillieann

 ;D Well maybe there is something to be said for just saying what's on your mind after all.
I couldn't get mom alone but I needed to tell her. So I announced to both mom and dad that I feel I am GID and a woman in a man's body.  I was fairly trembling when I did it and was mentally prepared but not looking forward to outrage from my father and shock from my mother.

But Mom turned to my father and said.  "See I told you so!" They both explained that they will support me in this and do what they can.  I made dinner for them as usual and did the dishes then retired here to my own apartment to share the news.  Truly it was sort of anti climatic after all my worries and fretting about telling them.  Mom seems to have known for sometime.  Even before I admitted it to myself.

I'd like to add something.  All of you have been so kind and supportive if I could I would hug every one of you.
Step one and Two are done.  Tomorrow I see my GP.

Hugs all
Glena

Oh Glena I am so happy for you. :)
I am glad it worked out so will.
Just keep going one step at a time.
Let us know how it worked out at the GP.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Oh, Glena, I am SO happy for you!  Phew - what a load off, eh?  Truly, I have completely given up trying to figure out in advance how anyone will react - they just always seem to surprise you.  My wife and kids all know about me, and if you go to my blog (scroll down on the main Susan's Index page to the blog section, mine is "Believe in the Rainbow") you'll see what I put myself through in advance of telling the kids.  But they all reacted much differently than I had expected.  Anyway, atta-girl!  I will be sending you a PM on a different topic...

After reading #8 I was thinking of writing, yes, of course she knows, She's you mom and knows everything. I really believe this. It's just that a lot of moms and dads either can't accept it, or prefer to stay out of that aspect.

Then I read #11.

It's later here, (UK) and now I can go to bed with a smile on my face. I am so happy for you.

The journey begins. Well done love!!

 ??? Oh my, oh my. 5:35 am and here I am awake already and I woke up thinking about Girdles for goodness sake. I jumped up from bed and got on the internet looking for girdles, nylons, everything I might need to learn about to start my life.  Yeah I mean start my life...

As a man I wore jean- track pants and generally didn't care about my looks. Because that guy in the mirror was not me inside. Now I'm in a tither about how to make that guy in the mirror start looking like the me I want to be! On top of that I am certainly on a budget.  Am full of anxiety about seeing my GP.  I can tell life is going to be interesting for a while.

Also was thinking, My Given name is Glenn Charles Simone "Last name here"  Maybe I should go by the name Simone?  She is my favorite aunt back in England.

Hugs all, Don't know how to sign this Glena or Simone?

Sigh

Glena/ Simone,

QuoteI can tell life is going to be interesting for a while.

That's a good way to put it.

Welcome to the TG world.

Girdles yuck! I don't really like them. To restrictive.

Clothing isn't really very hard was you figure out what woman's size you are.

You can size information and how to measure yourself here at https://www.susans.org/wiki/Clothing_Sizes or on the internet in many places.

The hardest part for allot of us is choosing the right style and color matching.

A great way to start is to check-out what the women in your area are wear.

You'll done fine with the GP.
Just be open and honest about your feelings.
Jillieann

Hello and Thank you for the advice Jillieann I will certainly be relying on that  https://www.susans.org/wiki/Clothing_Sizes (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Clothing_Sizes) link. Colleen has also been very helpful and recomended a near by Gender theripist to me. Everyone is so helpful here. By the way I added both you and Colleen to my buddies list. I hope you don't mind? 

Thanks all Hugs
Glena or maybe Simone.

Quote from: Glena on December 08, 2010, 05:38:53 AMBy the way I added both you and Colleen to my buddies list. I hope you don't mind?

Mind?  I'd be hurt if you didn't, luv!  As for "what's the best first thing?"  Well, sounds like maybe you could shed a few pounds?  It certainly doesn't cost much (anything) to do that, and there's no magic - just take long walks several times a week and cut down on the intake.  If you need help, the BEST I've found is WeightWatchers.  I lost over 40 lbs following their plan.  It really works.  Currently I'm 188 hoping to get down around 170 or so but not currently working very hard at it.

As for names, that's a really personal thing, and you're really the only one who can decide what you like, but I think Simone is a pretty name.  Odd that you were given that name as a male, even as a 3rd name?  But anyway, Glena is nice too, if unusual.  Myself, I chose Colleen partly because it's Irish (I'm of Irish extraction - Ireland isn't my real last name), and partly because it's used as a word meaning "girl".  And it's NOTHING like my given name.  But I went through about 3 or 4 names before I settled on Colleen, so don't be surprised if that happens to you.  It's not easy.

Anyway, good morning, honey, hope you have a great day today.  I'll be attending Gender Journeys tonight, and my best friend (of 36 years) and my 24-year-old son will be meeting Me for the first time...

QuoteBy the way I added both you and Colleen to my buddies list. I hope you don't mind?

Not at all Glena/Simone. I am honored that you consider me a friend.
We do need all the friends we can get.
I don't know about you but walking outside this time of year is not for me. Maybe the Polar Bears like the cold but I don't.
But as an alternative, and I'm gone to start doing it again, is that you could walk in a mall, if there is one near by, or maybe in a mega store.
And while your at it you can observe the women. Watch how they walk, what they wear and how they respond to others.
Maybe even check out there hairstyles to see what you like. 
It's kind of like killing 2 birds with one stone.  ;)
It has helped me a great deal and it was fun too.  :)

I'm glad that Colleen was able to help you with a therapist.
She is very helpful and encouraging.

Waiting impatiently to find out how it went with the GP. :icon_ihearu:
Hugs,
Jillieann

I'm so happy for you, Simone V ! Keep fighting (but not with your parents, they're too old, haha).

Hi Glena/Simone

In the first place, welcome to the forum, glad you've found us.

I've reading your posts with interest, it's quite a story.
I've also read the replies and you must be feeling at home I think.
This site has so many people who are  caring and supporting and with a lot of knowledge and expirience, feel free to take advantage from it.
I'm glad things finally works out well for you, exciting isn't it, starting a whole new life, the life you've always wanted to live.
now the time has come to be a happy person, and when you're feeling a bit down, you know where to find the keyboard to get some support.
In the mean time you can looking for clothes, observing other women, look how they talk, move, walk, using bodylanguage and so on.
and on you tube there are a lot of movies how to improve your voice sounding feminine.
I'll hope you can do something with this advice

It's good to have you here sister, I've been in ontario and quebec several times, I liked it there very much, nice people are living there.

love
annette

Trip to my GP, well that was a bust.  I got there and my normal Doctor had been called away to deliver a baby.  Wonderful news for some lucky mom, but kinda of hard for me to deal with the stand in doctor from the clinic.

I ended up just making an appointment for tomorrow. I really would rather talk to him since I've known him for 20 years or more.  Sorry to make you wait longer Jillieann. :) Other then that I went shopping, well more window shopping then actual buying.  Saw all sorts of things I would love to wear but know that I won't ever wear. Te-he, I fully agree with you Jillieann a lady should wear cloths appropriate to her age.

I have decided to let my nails start growing so I can shape them and I will be letting my hair grow also.
I think it's a start anyway.

annette, thank you so much for your kind words and interest in how I'm doing.  I hope to learn some about you as well as all the other girls.  After so many years of keeping myself inside and hidden I feel like I am on the verge of erupting with energy.  I hope the down wave is not to steep because the up wave has been really exciting.

Hugs all.  Simone.

Glena:

These are wonderful posts you have in this thread!  See?  Your mom knew anyway.  Isn't that amazing.  Your folks are quite elderly, so I don't think they'll hassle you much ... if at all.  Wasn't it great coming out to your mom?

Also, Colleen Ireland and Jillieann will be amazing friends to you.  They are very caring and knowledgeable and will help you a lot.  Susan's Place is your support group until you see a gender therapist and attend a live group.  Welcome, and good luck!

Simone,
Don't worry about me I can wait.
I do agree it is best to talk to your own GP.

Oh shopping is fun and window shopping is almost as much fun too.
And it cost allot less. :laugh:
I love to go in the stores and try on different clothing. Even if I don't buy anything.

The of waves feelings will continue to go up and down as you go forward.
Even when I first started it felt so good and I was happier with myself than I have ever been.
I'm hoping you feel this way too, now that you have decided to not only admit but to embrace your real self.
The joy in your last posting is bubbling out and splashing on to me and I am so glad for you.
Go girl go.

Do let us know what happens tomorrow Simone.
Hugs
Jillieann

Thanks Lacey. And yes this is a great place for support and friendship.

Hi Gena,

I can relate to your story, and it is sad when the people closest to us force us to be someone that nature and God did not intend.  In order to be that person, we must rise up and be strong; strong enough to overcome the barriers placed before us by the ones that love.

First of all, I always thought that 40 anything was old, but here I am at 48 and I still feel like me.  Heck, I still love cartoons.  I am more experienced, have a few gray hairs, but I still can say "Gaga goo goo" with the best of them. ;-)

Yes, I can relate to those "Lost Years."  I keep complaining about that exact same thing.  You cannot get those years back, but you can go forward.

For me, I keep thinking about how I never went to my prom or got to wear a pretty dress or was asked out or anything that most girls take for granted.

By the way, I also loved to wear nail polish.  That is what helped me to finally to crack my fear.  i saw nail polish at a store one day and I just had to buy it.  The next thing that I knew was that I put it on, grew out my nails, and to hell with anyone else.  I was not putting on clear nail polish either, if you get my drift.  Everyone tried to explain that away, not the least of whom was me.  Thank God for nail polish.

Here is to the future!  Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I also loved to play with dolls.   My sister and I fought over who got to name the dolls that she got.  I was older, so I won quite a bit of the time, but she was a fierce opponent.  Never go up against a determined girl, who wants to name her doll.  You have to be quick on the draw. :-)

I doubt there is anyone, whom doesn't regret earlier intervention.... time/years wise....

If you do choose/seek to go down the whole way with yer flip to XX or XY....

I was 28 when i took real medical help....and focused on full intervention.

I'm 52 now.... and this year tweaking myself-up to be an uber-sassy-chick for my twilight years....as ageing 'masculinizes' even natural born CIS women...

(I guess at heart I'm a wee bit sensitive to my past false start still)...so need to feel more secure in my outta physicality..... and every little helps.... though I've been very lucky to date.

Sot equally, its never too late surely to get to a place of optimum mental health...?

And if this requires dealing with yer dyspohria head on....so be it.

There are many courageous souls on Susan's doing just that in fact.

My new appointment with my GP is for 3pm, I'm on pins and needles for this second try.

This morning at 6 am sharp my mom knocked on my apartment door. I made her coffee we talked a little she showed me how she shapes her fingernails.  We started talking cloths and she proceeded to head to my closet weeding out a good 80% of my cloths to be put aside for eventual donation to second hand store. Then agreed to goto Sears with me next week and help me select some tights as my first ladies clothing item. 

7am Dad walks into my apartment, sits at the table rattles his cane a little in his normal way of demanding attention and says.  "Don't I merit a cup of coffee?" I remember from my early child hood when that coffee was a cup of tea but something's now they only do tea in the afternoons and evenings.
Point here is. Dad is never awake before 9:30am these days. 

We had coffee talked about various things and I made them breakfast.  Then dad announced he wanted to accompany me to the GP, for moral support. I almost fell over.
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?


Well onto other things.

Quote from: Cruelladeville on December 09, 2010, 07:05:38 AM
I'm 52 now.... and this year tweaking myself-up to be an uber-sassy-chick for my twilight years....as ageing 'masculinizes' even natural born CIS women...

(I guess at heart I'm a wee bit sensitive to my past false start still)...so need to feel more secure in my outta physicality..... and every little helps.... though I've been very lucky to date.

Sot equally, its never too late surely to get to a place of optimum mental health...?

And if this requires dealing with yer dysphoria head on....so be it.

There are many courageous souls on Susan's doing just that in fact.

I think you are all very brave and Pioneering.  You have paved the path for others like myself and I appreciate the knowledge you are sharing, Cruelladeville.  I love DALMATIANS though.  Te-he.

I am so happy you are all taking the time to read and partake in this ongoing conversation with me.  You are all so wonderful.

Hugs Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 09, 2010, 08:01:07 AM
This morning at 6 am sharp my mom knocked on my apartment door. I made her coffee we talked a little she showed me how she shapes her fingernails.  We started talking cloths and she proceeded to head to my closet weeding out a good 80% of my cloths to be put aside for eventual donation to second hand store. Then agreed to goto Sears with me next week and help me select some tights as my first ladies clothing item. 

dad announced he wanted to accompany me to the GP, for moral support. I almost fell over.
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?

This is wonderful ! Seriously. It's not normal, it's awesome !

Quote from: Simone V on December 09, 2010, 08:01:07 AM
And somehow I still feel like there is fall out that's just not happened yet.  Is this feeling normal?

Perfectly.

And you will have loads more problems to face yet. They are called life and happen to everyone.

But for now, the biggest problem, getting started with the support of your mom and dad are sorted.

For the rest, you've got them, you've got us and you've got yourself.

 :) Dear friends and new family.

I got in to see GP today.  Oh gosh the nerves I had. My dad last minute pulled out saying he wasn't feeling well.  Understandable at his age.  But my mom came along for the ride to the Doctors office.
I went good and early hoping it would make the visit happen faster.

Well I got in early.  The Doctor came in asked me what's up, since I had booked the appointment saying it had to do with my existing condition of Chronic Depression. After taking a few breaths I told him all about it.  Basically every feeling and how it isn't recent and extends back to childhood.  He listened intently and then asked me a few questions nodding as if in understanding then Agreed to give me a referral to the CAMH saying he would write the letter and let me know the day he sends it. He warned me that if can take a few months to get an appointment with CAMH and I talked to him about getting a gender therapist , He said he would see if he could find one locally.  I also have the name of one that Colleen recommenced.

Step one "Come out to myself" (Done)
Step two "Find others like myself for support" (Done) thank you all!^^
Step three "Come out to my Parents" (Done)
Step four "See my GP and ask for help" (Done)

Keeping the checklist. :) Next!

Oh on another front.  When we got home my mom said.  Quote"Oh boy I have to teach you to walk all over again!" We both had a good laugh and then she said "I am serious you walk like a sailor!"  ???

Love and hugs all
Simone.  :D

This is great !

Your mom is so sweet !

Thanks A^^

Yes mom is sweet and dad grumpy. I think it's a regional thing for Wales even if they moved to Canada long ago. 
Must get dad a tea when he asks. Chicken is only served to him with out the bones, and my goodness don't get in front of the telli!
or there will be a veritable eruption!

Hugs all Simone.

PS at least I don't have to clip his toe nails.  Poor mum does!

OMG, Simone, I've been away from the forum for 2 days (couldn't be helped), and I feel like I've missed a million things!  That is SO wonderful!  And your mom is a hoot!  You are so lucky to have someone like her, to give you guidance and teach you stuff.  Here's a hint from me on shopping:  Value Village, Talize, etc. - they have some WONDERFUL stuff for really CHEAP.  Since you need to build your wardrobe from scratch, you may want to do it on a budget for the most part - this way you get a lot of bang for your buck.  You can still buy a few nice things from the regular stores, but from the thrift stores, you can really bulk up the wardrobe at a fraction of the cost.  And, just a suggestion, you might want to think about updating your profile to select the "right" gender - that's for displaying your preferred gender, not necessarily your physical one, lol...

Oh, girl, that checklist is gonna grow, don't you know...

Hi there

I'm so glad that you experienced a positive response from your parents, and I sure that it is good karma in return for your wondeful care you provide your parents.
I welcome you to our family and wish you all the very best in your journey.

lots of hugs
betty

"The world is a mirror, if you smile it will smile back" Famous greek guy whose name escapes me

Simone,
I don't know if you have a Goodwill Store near you but that is another good place to buy clothing.
They also have a online store at http://shopgoodwill.com/ (http://shopgoodwill.com/)
That's what they do with the best stuff they get.  ;)
Aw... Simone you mom almost made me cry.
She really wants to help.
As I said in a PM she so sweet.
I'm so happy for you.  :eusa_dance: :eusa_clap:
Have a great day.
Hugs
Jillieann

 :) Shopping not my normal everyday trip for jeans.

So today I decided to go shopping and when I said I was headed to penningtons my mother said. "I'm coming!!".
After lunch we set off we get there and my mom decided to take over and went to look for a sales assistant.  I pretty much decided to do it on my own.  But I let her for a bit. 

But when she asked the assistant for tights for me because of my legs needing support.  I took over, I figure that if I'm going to do this I may as well not lie about why I'm shopping at a ladies store. So I just said. Miss the truth of the matter is that I am Transsexual and I have GID, I am trying to get medical treatment that would prepare me for a Sex reassignment surgery. So I need to start learning to wear ladies cloths and want to start simple.

Well the sales associate didn't miss a beat and said oh well then lets get you started!
So after slipping around the store a little while I picked out some simple black tights, a set of leggings with rhinestones at the ankles and a long black blouse that goes almost to my knees. 

The sales lady then helped me get a penningtons discount card and gave me her business card saying that if I needed anything I should see her and she would help me with proper fashionable choices for someone of my size.

In the car after mom was quiet at first, I believe we hit a milestone with her today.  It really sunk in. But by the time we got home she was back to her smiles.  I went to try on my new cloths settling for the leggings and blouse because I feel the tights would be to hot. 

So as I sit here, I am dressed for the first time in the gender appropriate style for my heart.

Step one "Come out to myself" (Done)
Step two "Find others like myself for support" (Done) thank you all!^^
Step three "Come out to my Parents" (Done)
Step four "See my GP and ask for help" (Done)
Step five "Go shopping for my first outfit!" (Done)

So far all is well.

Hugs n loves Simone. :laugh:

That took a lot of courage to do that, and that is age independent.  Congratulations and doing that in front of your mom took guts too.

You gave the technical details of the day, but you did not say how the outing felt.  Did it feel good to come clean with your mom and the shop assistant?  I presume that it did.

I remember when I first went to a store to shop for women's clothing.  I went to Macy's and had a personal shopper help me.  That was my first time and the shop assistant was read to make me look female but when I started to try on the clothes I was not ready.  I was not used to seeing myself with female clothing.  She tried to get me to buy a skirt saying that every woman needs one, but that was a bit too much for the first time, so I just stayed with slacks, female tops, and my first bra.

I can imagine the same type of things happening with you.

By the way, why did the shop assistant not try and fit you with a bra?  That was almost the very first thing that my shop assistant did after giving me a top and she saw me in it.

Congrats again. That was a big thing.

Te-he no, the sales attendant didn't push for a bra I think I was quiet red and she probably knew I had all I could take for first try.  She did tell me to see her when I needed more and she showed me a one part girdle but it was 102 dollars and with the holidays season here I decided not to get it and use the money for gifts.

As for how I felt. Giddy - Shy - liberated or more accurately I think a mix of all three of them. I did not enjoy cutting mom off but. I understand her reason for trying to make it seem as something else.  She is 85 and in her day, Men didn't buy such things openly.

I'm sure she had my best interests in mind, but I have to be me now :)   :angel:

@ Simone V:

This is a great story, and I'm very happy for you.  This took great courage for you to take your elderly mom with you on your first such excursion and to come clean with the shop girl.  Certainly, back in your mom's day, such a thing was unthinkable.  Fortunately, your mom has a mind of her own, is willing to think for herself and loves you enough to see how important this is to you. 

Many of you are so much more brave than me.  Many of you immediately enlisted the aid of the ladies working at the stores and/or boutiques where you shop.  Frankly, I selected my women's clothing articles myself mostly at J.C. Penney's at the mall.  The top I'm wearing in the avatar pic comes courtesy of The Gap with the necklace being from good old J.C. Penney's.  So far, I've only gotten ladies shorts, jeans and cropped pants and certainly no dresses and/or skirts.  Perish the thought, but that's just me.  Got conservative but stylish ladies sandals too as well as a few understated accessories.  The wig?  Got it online.  Yeah, I know I need a better one.  Someday. 

Simone V and Sarahla, I admire you two very much for coming clean as transsexuals to the shop girls.  THAT takes courage.  I've yet to do such a thing, although rumors about me surely abound at the mall where I walk almost daily.  You two are awesome for your courage and conviction.  Rock on, gals!  Simone, keep on truckin', honey!  Wait until you're on the hormones!    :D    Lacey

Simone,
Wow! What have I rout?
I mean I encouraged you and now you are going full speed ahead.
Wow! Way to go girl.
I've never been brave enough to tell a sales clerk that I'm TG.
I bet you had a red face, but you did it girl.
I just go shopping and get my own stuff.

Lacey, I think skirts and dresses are great but for us northern girls
this isn't the time of year to wear them. :(

Simone, I bet it feels great to be dress in gender appropriate clothing.
I know I can stand most guy stuff anymore.
It's too rough, scratchy and doesn't usually fit very well, specially the undergarments.
So what is your next step sis?
I'm so happy for all of your progress.
Hugs
Jillieann

Next Step? Hmm

I think I need a nice set of flats and maybe some leg warmers for a splash of color. The challenge I think is going to be finding a set of size 10 wide size flats.  Mens size 10 wide, how in the world is one supposed to convert that to woman's size? Te-he.

I also think a knee length skirt in denim and a colorful sash would complete my first outfit. After that I have to learn makeup, maybe get a wig as a interim measure while my hair grows out. Look into every local resource for TS people

And diet diet diet, get some physical activity that won't bulk me up.

If I believe I can make me happen!

Love and hugs Simone. ;)

Hi Simone
As a general rule to convert man's shoe size to woman's  just add 2.
So you  new woman's shoes size is a 12 wide.  But shoes vary and you need to try them on..
I'm a size 11 woman's but can often wear a wide 10.5"
I love shoe shopping, it's so much fun.

Quotesome leg warmers for a splash of color

and to keep you warm.  :)
A denim skirt, sound great (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.germes-online.com%2Fdirect%2Fdbimage%2F50279787%2FLadies__Denim_Skirt.jpg&hash=b6eb7af2e0ec3c116b35e7c296187747c96b1d68) like this one?

QuoteAnd diet diet diet, get some physical activity that won't bulk me up.

Me to hon.
Have a great day.
Hugs,
Jillieann

yes something along those lines exactly

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7d5.scene7.com%2Fis%2Fimage%2FTerritoryAhead%2F336054_DKIN%3F%24pdppreview_360%24&hash=b2aeb756040812fe03ff40414e2070f1b5e33e05)

I like dark warm colors so blacks, blues, dark browns, some tans, reds and burgundies are all nice. 

Hi Simone

I'll think you're a very brave girl.
you're absolutely right in the way you act, that's the way to do it, no need to ashame because of your GID.
But it has to be done and you did it in the store.
Good for you girl, I admire your way of handling things.

a big hug for a brave girl

annette

Thanks so much for the encouragement annette, but to be honest my knees were shaking so hard that I am certain the sales lady could hear Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack. So brave not really determined, yes! 

To quote Yoda "Do or do not... there is no try!"

So I refuse to let my jitters stop my momentum. Speaking of! 
Today was Christmas shopping day, yeppers I hit the mall in over drive. Picked up cologne and a set of gloves with a matching wool hat for my dad.  I fabulous and hat set for mom with a small bottle of Channel. Slippers for my older sisters. Some nice cards and wrapping paper.

Then I had some extra time and decided to go shopping for shoes.  I found that I really like the look of flats and a size 12 will fit me, but currently I am retaining some water and had stopped taking the pills to reduce it.  So I will restart on the pills before investing.  I ended up finding heels that fit me but my lord. 2 inches extra in the heel turns my balance into a clumsy neandrathol shambling walk. So I passed on those for now. I tried two shoe stores a value village and talies.  While in pay less shoes, trying on various flats.  A man kept staring at me not interrupted glances but a continued stare. I found this un nerving and I started to perspire my heart raced and the all to familiar cover and hide feeling from the hiding me started to come out. Then it hit me WHY?  I am who I am so smile and that's just what I did. I looked directly at him smiles lifted my hand up in the most feminine manner I can manage and waves my fingers at him in a hello there motion. Then suddenly it was him turning red and looking uncomfortable. 
I can tell you, that felt just fine to me!

In the end I didn't get any shoes but the shopping was fun and I know more about woman's shoe sizes now.  I will go again later on after trying to lose some more weight and some of my water.

Huge hugs loves and you know maybe just a little giggle.

Simone.  :laugh:

Quote from: Simone V on December 11, 2010, 03:20:36 PMI looked directly at him smiles lifted my hand up in the most feminine manner I can manage and waves my fingers at him in a hello there motion. Then suddenly it was him turning red and looking uncomfortable. 
I can tell you, that felt just fine to me!

OMG, Simone... I nearly PEED my pants when I read this!   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Truly, you are remarkable!  You and Roxy (Erocse) should get together sometime - that would be a party!  Oh, girl, you brighten my day, you really do!  :laugh:

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on December 11, 2010, 03:54:40 PM
OMG, Simone... I nearly PEED my pants when I read this!   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Truly, you are remarkable!  You and Roxy (Erocse) should get together sometime - that would be a party!  Oh, girl, you brighten my day, you really do!  :laugh:

And we could put in Bibi and really bring the west coast of America to a halt!!  :laugh:

Oooohh Simone

I've so much fun with your posts.
You're doing great wether the clack,clack or not, you're doing great.
I think you must be feeling so freely now you know who you really are.
Keep on going girl, you deserve a happy  life.

lots of love for my brave sister
annette

Thank you Annette^^ 
I must thank many of you for the support you have given me thus far. 
It it were up to me I'd load a bus full of us and go on a trip to some spa. Lotto ticket pay off please!!!!

hugs Simone

December 11, 2010

   
      Pisces Pisces (2/19-3/20)

      It takes a brave person to keep an open mind sometimes. Today don't leave the room when the talk gets tough. Even if you don't contribute to the conversation, it would do you good to hear things from other people's points of view. These controversial ideas may make you uncomfortable, but if they do, think about why. Ponder what defines your sensibilities, and you'll realize that this world is made up of different people with varied perspectives -- and that's okay.


How very appropriate!

What does it say for Aries - something like "Beware of Capricorn, especially if related?"   :(

Simone
Wow!
I wrote the PM to you before I checked your postings.
You had a real adventure shopping.

QuoteI looked directly at him smiles lifted my hand up in the most feminine manner I can manage and waves my fingers at him in a hello there motion. Then suddenly it was him turning red and looking uncomfortable.
I can tell you, that felt just fine to me!

:o  :laugh:
I loved it.   :)
Way to go girl.
Wish I was that brave.
Maybe I will be the next time when some one stares at me like that.
Now your encouraging me. Thanks Simone

A walking in heels, takes a little practice.
I bought my first pair in the mail. Went to the powder room and put them on.
I then walked around the mall for an hour or so.
You should have seen me at first.
I was wobbly and walking very very slow.
After a few minutes I started to get the hang of it.
I'm sure others were watching me but I didn't care.
My new shoes looked great and I would show them off.
I guess I did. :)
I can wear 2" heels fine (for a few hours) but I rather have 1" 1.5" or flats.
Anything higher hurts this old girl mature woman's back.
Love the skirt and I would just adore it in dark blue or a burgundy color.
Looks like you too like the younger styles.  ;)
Keep going girl, your doing great.
Hugs,
Jillieann 

Sunday again. 

Why do I find Sunday's the most depressing day of the week? I try to keep myself busy on sundays, cleaning and doing laundry but the day as a whole just depresses me.

I went for a walk this morning in the new snow. I thought I should try to walk more feminine and then look back at my foot steps see if I can pick out the flaws from the foot prints.  Oh yeah, I really can. They just look flawed all over.  Disappointment. In myself. Well I will continue to practice walking inside towards a mirror until I can get it right.

I have made progress in eating though. I have cut my portions by 50% and since having resolved to slim down in preparation for transitioning. I'm not feeling so hungry.  Funny how that worked.
I hated myself so much that I was eating myself to death!  Now for the first time I'm starting to except and love who I am and I'm not hungry anymore.

I wanted to tell the younger of my two sisters today, but mom beat me too it and on the phone of all things.  Apparently the news wasn't received well, how ever apparently the older of my two sisters is more excepting.  Surprise to me since I was always closer to the younger of the two.

But I do wish I had been given the chance to tell them myself. It would have at least felt better for me.  Kinda hurts to know the sister I was always closest too is totally rejecting the idea. According to mom she was rather cold. 

Ultimately thought. "Life is to short to worry about what anyone is thinking!"  If I don't do this for myself I may as well not continue to live. So Rejection or not here I come life.

Yeah I'm a little depressed today but I'll get over it. Sundays suck anyway.

Hugs Simone.

This issue has arisen so many times. The best I can suggest is your younger sister just needs to suck it in. It isn't her life. It won't be costing her anything. She didn't have to live a lie.

But often, in these cases, especially with a youngest, when they are offered a choice, they choose the option that is likely to be most noticable.

In any case, this isn't really a cloud. More of a brief shadow. So far, things have been brilliant for you.

When your youngest sister realises how happy you are now, hopefully she will come round.

Simone,
Oh, I am so sorry that your younger sister is not accepting you.
If she was the closes it will be the hardest for her to accept.
Giver her some time to get use to the news.
Then I would suggest calling her and talking to her yourself.
Also I think It would be good if you  would calling your older sister and talking to her too.
I'm sure both of them are reeling from the revelation that you are a girl too.

But the bad news is some people will reject you not matter what you do or say.

QuoteUltimately thought. "Life is to short to worry about what anyone is thinking!"  If I don't do this for myself I may as well not continue to live. So Rejection or not here I come life.

That the spirit sis.

50% intake cut? Be careful hon, that's is a little drastic.
Please watch your diet close. 
Below are some basic guidelines are what you need to know to construct a healthy diet.
I got them off of the net.

Quote
1) Eat plenty of high-fiber foods—that is, fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains. These are the "good" carbohydrates—nutritious, filling, and relatively low in calories. They should supply the 20 to 30 grams of dietary fiber you need each day, which slows the absorption of carbohydrates, so there's less effect on insulin and blood sugar, and provides other health benefits as well. Such foods also provide important vitamins, minerals, and phytochemicals (plant chemicals essential to good health).

2) Make sure to include green, orange, and yellow fruits and vegetables—such as broccoli, carrots, cantaloupe, and citrus fruits. The antioxidants and other nutrients in these foods may help protect against developing certain types of cancer and other diseases. Eat five or more servings a day.

3) Limit your intake of sugary foods, refined-grain products such as white bread, and salty snack foods. Sugar, our No.1 additive, is added to a vast array of foods. Just one daily 12-ounce can of soda (160 calories) can add up to 16 pounds over the course of a year. Many sugary foods are also high in fat, so they're calorie-dense.

4) Cut down on animal fat. It's rich in saturated fat, which boosts blood cholesterol levels and has other adverse health effects. Choose lean meats, skinless poultry, and nonfat or low-fat or nonfat dairy products.

5) Cut way down on trans fats, supplied by hydrogenated vegetable oils used in most processed foods in the supermarket and in many fast foods.

6) Eat more fish and nuts, which contain healthy unsaturated fats. Substitute olive or canola oil for butter or stick margarine.

7) Keep portions moderate, especially of high-calorie foods. In recent years serving sizes have ballooned, particularly in restaurants. Choose a starter instead of an entrée, split a dish with a friend, and don't order supersized anything.

8 ) Keep your cholesterol intake below 300 milligrams per day. Cholesterol is found only in animal products, such as meats, poultry, dairy products, and egg yolks.

9) Eat a variety of foods. Don't try to fill your nutrient requirements by eating the same foods day in, day out. It is possible that not every essential nutrient has been identified, and so eating a wide assortment of foods helps to ensure that you will get all the necessary nutrients. In addition, this will limit your exposure to any pesticides or toxic substances that may be present in one particular food.

10) Maintain an adequate calcium intake. Calcium is essential for strong bones and teeth. Get your calcium from low-fat sources, such as skim milk and low-fat yogurt. If you can't get the optimal amount from foods, take supplements.

11) Try to get your vitamins and minerals from foods, not from supplements. Supplements cannot substitute for a healthy diet, which supplies nutrients and other compounds besides vitamins and minerals. Foods also provide the "synergy" that many nutrients require to be efficiently used in the body.

12) Maintain a desirable weight. Balance energy (calorie) intake with energy output. Exercise and other physical activity are essential.

13) If you drink alcohol, do so in moderation. That is one drink a day for women, two a day for men. A drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 4 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof spirits. Excess alcohol consumption leads to a variety of health problems. And alcoholic beverages can add many calories to your diet without supplying nutrients.

Sorry got a little cared away. :embarrassed:
But do take care with your diet.

Here are some tips off the net on how to walking like most women.

QuotePull yourself forward:  When walking, men generally "fall" forward and catch themselves with the other foot, while women pull themselves forward with their lower extremities. When dressed, we want to walk with our shoulders back and stomach in.

Meander:  If we're Type A's, always in a hurry, we must learn to walk slower.  Watch women in a store (but don't stare and make them nervous!)--they meander and browse a lot.  Learn to imitate this.

Move the hips: Although walking with one foot in front of the other does add to the hip movement, it is not the key to obtaining the feminine wiggle. Anyone who can do the Twist has half of the movement accomplished. The movement originates at the waist. Stand in place and practice by bending the left knee and thrusting the right hip out, then straighten the left knee as you bend the right knee and thrust the left hip out. Practice this movement (best when done with music) everyday to condition the muscles and become accustom to the movement.  Over-exaggeration during practice is OK, because it will look more natural when walking. Once accustomed to this movement, try walking as follows:

1. I always use hands and thumbs as a cue that helps me remember to walk like a woman when dressed as a woman. Palms should be slightly forward and thumbs pointing slightly out. As the arm moves back the thumb points further out. The hand positioning and movement also looks feminine and adds to the hip movement.

2. The first few times before the technique is mastered, start by standing in place and doing the hip movement exercise above, then when your right hip is out take a baby step forward as follows.

3. Starting with the left foot moving forward:  As it makes contact with the floor, let your left hip thrust out. This movement is helped because the right knee is starting to bend.

4. Don't stop . . . right foot next.

Once the small steps and hip movement are working, slightly increase the length of the stride and eliminate step 2.

Most likely the body will be leaning too far back at first, but don't worry about correcting this until a comfort level has been reached with the walk. Also, as a consequence of this new gait, the feet will automatically move one in front of the other.

One more thing don't over do the wiggle.
I've practiced allot. And it is almost natural now. Wearing heels helps.

Wishing you a better evening.
Hugs,
Jillieann

I will add this : It is much easier to look womanly when walking with shoes than when walking bare-foot.

What I always did was keep my hips together. I didn't have any other guides and there wan't anyone to ask. But I didn't have any problems at all.

Ohhhh I printed that one out Jillieann. To much information to remember in just one reading^^ Thank you so much it's really good information.

yes the afternoon was better.  I made a meat loaf for dinner and scalloped potato with peas and carrots.  My dads favorite  dinner, and it always is nice to get compliments on my cooking.  Brightens me up a lot.

Tomorrow I am going to go for another set of leggings and a blouse or two maybe a turtle neck. Going to hit goodwill then, Talies and value village, maybe even the sally ann.  I want leg warmers too, can't go with just one outfit. 


I think I will look for shoes with a small heel and try to use them to learn to walk and I will remember to tighten my hips.  Thanks all for the lovely information. 

Hugs and loves
Simone.

sprinting forward in slow motion  :o

wow if your going slow  :D

LQQKOUT WORLD   8)

if you get moving  >:-)


have fun  ;D

Simone,
Your welcome.
Love to help, or put in my 2 cents anyway.  ;)
Helping others always help my mood too.
Don't have to much fun shopping tommorow.
Oh and tell us all about it will ya?
Hugs,
Jillieann

Shopping Trip

Well today was shopping day again.  Got two nice tops one is navy blue and silky the other is white. 
No shoes found today so the quest for shoes continues.
My Ladies change room experience was about an 8 out of 10.  That is roughly 8 out of 10 of the ladies that were at the change rooms didn't gawk at me. Te-he. Wait till I start going out dressed!

But seriously, People have been very nice to me so far.

On other topics, I have to go in and sign a release at my Gps office tomorrow morning before he will forward any more information to CAMH.  So 9 am I will be in signing papers.
I am feeling up again today and that's good.  Shopping is fun for the first time EVER.

Hugs all
Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 13, 2010, 02:00:04 PMMy Ladies change room experience was about an 8 out of 10.  That is roughly 8 out of 10 of the ladies that were at the change rooms didn't gawk at me. Te-he. Wait till I start going out dressed!
...
On other topics, I have to go in and sign a release at my Gps office tomorrow morning before he will forward any more information to CAMH.  So 9 am I will be in signing papers.

My first change-room experience... I had to try on my first-ever feminine attire, a pair of ladies' jeans.  The change rooms were unisex, but they were all taken up when I got there, so I'm standing there waiting.  I figured jeans is jeans, so I'm not too nervous.  But what should play over the speakers at that moment?  Aretha Franklin!  "You make me feel..."  I felt like I was being welcomed!

Good luck at the doctor's tomorrow.  Soon as that's under way, you can sit back and relax for a month or so, but keep on keepin' on...  :-*

Simone I'm glad you had a good day shopping.
I never like shopping in the mens department.
But now I love to shop in the womens. Go-figure. ;)

You went into a women dressing room dress as a man? :o
Oh Simone you crack me up.  ;D  8 out of 10  :laugh:
Next time dress as the women you are first.
Ohh! I love silky tops. But this time of year the soft cottononce are more practical.

Needing to sign release papers for the CAMH sounds like your moving ahead, that's good.
Catch you later.
Hugs,
Jillieann

 Diet is working!

I've cut salt out of my diet and stopped eating seconds of anything.  Stopped eating sweets of any sort and replaced them with fruit when I can't resist. Result 3 lbs weight loss this week. Also been shopping a lot and that translated to more walking.  IE shopping = fun and fitness.  WIN WIN! 

Soon I will be heading to the GP to sign that release form, it's snowing here a touch of a snow storm so bundled up as much as possible but I'm also going out dressed for the first time in public. whooo!

Something else. Since I have started using ladies toiletries soaps creams some perfume and Deodorants I have actually found quite a change in how I feel.  I feel better cleaner even pretty sometimes even though I'm not.

Just having come this far has done wonders for my emotions and to lighten my depression I wish I had, had the strength and conviction to do this when I was younger. Because finally I feel vibrant alive myself.

Hugs Simon

Way to go girl.
So glad that things are going well with you.
3 pounds already wow :o
Tell us, tell us how it went going out dress in proper apparel for the first time.
What did you wear and how did it go?
Was the power room crowd friendlier today?

Yes shopping is fun, you get exercises and don't forget spying on other women to see how they walk, talk,what they wear and how they act.  ;) Just don't stare.  :o
Have fun.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Simone V on December 14, 2010, 07:57:10 AMSomething else. Since I have started using ladies toiletries soaps creams some perfume and Deodorants I have actually found quite a change in how I feel.  I feel better cleaner even pretty sometimes even though I'm not.

Yes, I've noticed this, too.  When I started shaving my underarms, I realized very quickly that the old Speed Stick wasn't going to cut it any more.  I was getting ready for Gender Journeys one evening, and I realized... I STUNK!  I guess the Speed Stick would stick to the hair that used to be there, and with no hair, it just didn't do the job.  So I switched to Secret Unscented.  MUCH nicer!

Yesterdays Trip to the GP and then Shopping.

The body of my GP's letter to the Gender Identity Clinic went as follows.

[ATT: Gender Identity Clinic

Thank you for considering this gentleman for your clinic.  He tells me that he has always seen himself as a woman. As a young child he wore his sisters clothing, and later his mother's clothing. After being caught by his parents, he stopped dressing in woman's clothing. He continued to feel he was trapped in the wrong sex. He had an unsuccessful marriage, and has faced a personal struggle with depression. He says he even says that he dreams as a woman.

At this point he is not dressing to his new identity. ]

Imagine the nurses surprise yesterday when I arrived fully dressed including a wig and shawl over it, knee length skirt over leggings, leg warmers sneakers she couldn't see my blouse because of my winter coat but it was a nice silky one in navy blue!

If my Doctor needs to send a second letter he'll have to amend the part about not dressing to my new identity.

After the GP's office and signing release forms for the DR's office and CAMH to communicate my information back and forth.  I went shopping.

First stop Giant Tiger.

Picked up a nice 3 pack of panties in my size and spent an hour looking at all the cloths that I some day would love to wear.  But my size is an issue for now.  I CAN FIX IT! Is what I am thinking. I noted something. There were no men in Giant tiger today. Not a single woman gave me so much as even a sideways glance that I noticed. I know that I cannot pass yet.
But they just seemed at ease.

Second stop Value village.

Picked up a very large drape that I intend to convert for use as a long skirt. I also hit the jewelry. Got myself a nice pinky ring with imitation diamond stones it's silver, well silver metal I don't know if it is silver.  I also got a string of what might be amber.

All in all yesterday was a good day out for a first day dressed.

To Quote K8 I think I can, I know I can, I can- I can- I can!

Loves and hugs
Simone.

Hi Simone

Sure you can, and with the speed you are going, absolutely great.
You know, it's amazing how you have been chanced. Look at your first post, I was reading about a man with a gender problem who was depressive and now I'm reading the adventures from a happy woman who want to explore life.
Great isn't it ?
The way you handle things sweety, I am a admire form you.
Every week you take one of the lost years back.
So, keep on going girl and tell us all about your expiriences coz I really love your posts.

lots of love
annette

Simone,
I am so happy things went well for you on your first dressed trip out.
And as Annette said

QuoteLook at your first post, I was reading about a man with a gender problem who was depressive and now I'm reading the adventures from a happy woman who want to explore life.

Wow! You have come along way baby.
And yes, it is very enjoyable to read your postings. Thank you for sharing.

QuoteNot a single woman gave me so much as even a sideways glance that I noticed. I know that I cannot pass yet.
But they just seemed at ease.

Are you sure you don't pass? Women usually look twice at a man in the undergarment area.
Hugs,
Jillieann

The Talk

Last night after dinner and doing the dishes, my dad asked me to stay and chat a while.  Mom seemed to vanish into the bedroom with the excuse of wanting a nap.

He asked me to get us a drink. So I got him his normal Rye and water and I had a red wine with cranberry juice.

Then I sat for a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Then dad spoke, he said.
Are you aware that when you finish what you are doing you won't be the person you are now? He didn't pause or wait for a reply but carried on saying. You'll be a new person different and you will never be able to go back.

I told him yes and tried to explain to him that the reason that I am doing this is because the person on the outside isn't me. I told him that I am aware that many changes will occure but am convinced it is for the best and what I want. He nodded generally excepting my explanation with a resigned look.

I can't help but feel I've in some way let him down.  I am his only born son and the last male in our branch of the family.  At the same time I hate being a man. I hate living a lie, and I hate looking in the mirror and seeing a guy looking back.

So I want and need to make this transition, for my sanity for my body mind spirit I need to be free. I'm writing this post and then printing out the whole thread, I won't include anything that anyone else has posted because I respect all of your privacy and the advice you have given me. 
But I am going to give the posts I have made to him so he can read it. I hope he understands better once he has.
He's excepted this to a degree and resigned to it more or less. I hope if he can read my thoughts that he will have a greater grasp of who I am.

After the talk mom came back in had a drink with us after which I returned to my own apartment and had a cry before sleeping.

Loves you all
hugs
Simone

Where there's a will.... there's a way Simone....

Now in my fifties and having had my teeth (all 26) veneered this year.....and Toby Meltzer did my wonderful body contouring and labiaplasty tweak.....

I'm now looking better than I (ever) did in my roaring forties figure wise....

So the golden rule is it's never too late!

And my long-term b/f finally hinted (seriously) for once at marriage next year.....when we were at (a v romantic dinner) on Sunday night....and I asked him what his new years resolutions were going to be, he stated "I wont a wife" and what did I think of that?)

I almost fell of the chair, as he's never been serious about this issue before....and answered "That was a good ambition to have"....

Dreams can and do come true..... so hold onto that thought....

Keep up the good work, good diet and exercise....and good luck!

Quote from: Simone V on December 16, 2010, 05:36:44 AMI can't help but feel I've in some way let him down.

Oh, Simone, my heart goes out to you.  Because I know EXACTLY how you feel - it's how I feel in relation to my wife.  I've been sort of expecting this sort of talk was in your future.  Some of what you posted about your dad's reaction led me to expect it.  And in fact, I think I did say to you that you should expect the initial reaction not to be the final one.  This is something people struggle with.  And I think it's especially hard on a father.  But as you know, you CANNOT not move forward.  Forward is the only direction.  I know, it's like that for me, too.  There's no going back at this point.  I am here for you, girl, as are we all.  It's hard, but we're strong.  We'll get through it.  Go and google "You'll Never Walk Alone" and listen to the Jerry Marsden version.  I definitely believe there IS a rainbow at the end of this storm.  And it's a beautiful thing.

He sounds like he's trying to be supportive in the round about way that parents are when they think we're making a mistake.  As much as I don't think he expected you to say "Oh, I hadn't thought of that.  Oh well, forget it then", at least he (as your dad) can rest assured that you know full well that "You'll be a new person different and you will never be able to go back."..  Regardless of how old we are, to our parents we are always 5 and in need of their guidance.

I think this talk is a good sign. He is willing to accept, but having a hard time, which is normal.

Simone.

I was thinking exactly the same as A.

OK, so your dad's dreams of having his son grow into a fine young man, in whom he can be proud and who will carry on 'the line' are gone.

But that, as they say, is his problem.

I understand you love your dad and don't want to disappoint him.

Will being a miserable man make your dad happy? How well do you think a miserable man can succeed? Will he be dancing with joy over that?

You are taking control of your life. You are expressing who you are. If it takes your dad a bit of time, then be supportive, but keep focused.

You dad doesn't sound to me the sort of person who wants to control your life.

One thing:  if you think that there might even be a remote chance that having children might be important to you in the future, bank some sperm now.  You may decide that isn't necessary, but do think about it before making that decision.  Better to consider and reject than later regret not having considered...

Quote from: Cruelladeville on December 16, 2010, 06:36:05 AM
Where there's a will.... there's a way Simone....

Now in my fifties and having had my teeth (all 26) veneered this year.....and Toby Meltzer did my wonderful body contouring and labiaplasty tweak.....

I'm now looking better than I (ever) did in my roaring forties figure wise....

So the golden rule is it's never too late!

And my long-term b/f finally hinted (seriously) for once at marriage next year.....when we were at (a v romantic dinner) on Sunday night....and I asked him what his new years resolutions were going to be, he stated "I wont a wife" and what did I think of that?)

I almost fell of the chair, as he's never been serious about this issue before....and answered "That was a good ambition to have"....

Dreams can and do come true..... so hold onto that thought....

Keep up the good work, good diet and exercise....and good luck!

Seriously wow, congratulations!  And thanks for the pep talk really. Being 43 years old and seeing how young many here are when starting. I had some reservations about ever being truly pretty.  But I'm going to do my best to get there.

Quote from: Jillieann on December 16, 2010, 05:14:32 AM
Are you sure you don't pass? Women usually look twice at a man in the undergarment area.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Yes I am sure. But the shawl and wig helped I guess.

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on December 16, 2010, 04:26:38 PM
One thing:  if you think that there might even be a remote chance that having children might be important to you in the future, bank some sperm now.  You may decide that isn't necessary, but do think about it before making that decision.  Better to consider and reject than later regret not having considered...

EEEEPS no no no way!  at 43 older when the transition is done. I won't be wanting to be a mom. No need to deposit anything at the SB te-he.

Spacial and A, yes I think you are both right.  But it is in my nature to feel bad about things that effect others.
On the other hand. I am going to do this my mind is made up.

Hugs All
Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 16, 2010, 08:28:48 PMEEEEPS no no no way!  at 43 older when the transition is done. I won't be wanting to be a mom. No need to deposit anything at the SB te-he.

Well, I thought it was worth saying, glad to hear you've given it some thought, lol.  43 is actually not old, my brother had his daughter at that age (well, his wife... never mind).  And I'm 54, just starting out, and darn RIGHT I expect to be pretty - just wander over to the Pre-Transition Pictures thread and check out Lacy Lynne's pics.

Oh Colleen, you are pretty already.

Simone, I think your dad is trying very hard to understand and be supportive.
Do give him time to accept you as his daughter and the lose of his son.
I wouldn't push, just let him see how happy you are, being you.
It is a hard road for us at times but it isn't easy for ones who love us either.

Hugs,
Jillieann

My fingers hurt!

Okay well where to start?  I decided to start learning to sew a little for myself.  I got some instruction on making a set of jeans into a knee length skirt watched it a dozen times took notes.  Went out to Value Village and ended up buy jeans for myself in the men's section. Lucked out and found my size so I got them.
I got a seem knife and thread puller and went home. 

Excited to start I carefully opened the stitched seams in the back and front of the jeans.  Then the in seem. I cut the legs off evenly and then opened the remaining parts of the legs.  hand picked all the little thread bits out of the denim and pinned it together sticking my fingers about 100 times during the whole process.

Tomorrow I am going to get out moms old sewing machine and attempt to sew it together. I am excited, I must admit the thought of converting some cloths and making a few nice outfits thrills me. 

On other fronts!  Nothing new.  I started taking green tea capsules along with my diet. I must say that between cutting out salt sugar and using my water pills. my legs are almost shapely.
I wonder if I should try the old.  " I must! - I must! I must improve my bust!" exercise to get a head start on reshaping my breasts before HRT. Te-he.

Really girls all is going well, I also ordered some nice flats online in my size.  "Fingers crossed"

tomorrow I might walk around the make up counter at shoppers and see if I can get a consultation. 

:)  Hugs loves.

Simone.

Wow Simon, :)
You are sure a busy women these days.
Make jeans into a skirt. (hope it works out as well as you are want it too)

Shopping online and tomorrow you going to get a make-up consultation.
Young lady your making my head spin.  ::)  ;)

But really, you are doing very will hon.
And I'm glad you diet is starting to show.
From your postings, it seem your depression has lifted.

It is so good to read about your excitement and new discoverers.
Thanks for all the encouragement by just sharing with us Simone.
Hugs,
Jillieann 

Quote from: Simone V on December 17, 2010, 03:42:25 PMI wonder if I should try the old.  " I must! - I must! I must improve my bust!" exercise to get a head start on reshaping my breasts before HRT. Te-he.

Hee-hee-... well, go ahead if you want, honey, but from what I've heard it does nothing.  Couldn't hurt, tho.  I'm on vacation next week, and already planning a number of outings.  I'll be going on Tuesday to get some nicer glasses and some makeup (like you, a consultation at the makeup counter, either the Bay or Sears).  I, too, am watching your progress with amazement.  WTG, girl!

@Jillieann:  As Simone's big sister, I'm afraid I must ask you please to ALWAYS include the "e" on the end of her name.  Please.  She's no doubt too polite to call your attention to it, but... "Simon" = (unfortunate gender).  "Simone" = (ahhh...).  I know it's not intentional, and please don't think I'm being mean, I'm just watching my lil' sis's back, because I care about her (and I know you do, too)...  :-*

Pfft! LOL

Hmm grr lol, okay I dressed for dinner tonight, mom was cooking so after peeling potatoes etc for her I slipped home and put on a little leggings and a long blouse, no wig no accessories just a little feel nice for dinner.  Mom smiled she had seen the outfit before and Dad said nothing. We had Fish and potatoes mixed veggies and a glass of white wine. 

After dinner I gathered the dishes and did them. Not many thankfully.  But as I was leaving the kitchen Dad said.  I want oven roasted chicken tomorrow, with a tomato salad, stewed leaks and mashed potatoes. Now you must understand that normally when I cook everyday almost, I ask mom and we decide what I will make together. But I took it in stride and said ok. You got it!

Then he asked for a cup of tea and I got it for him. After placing it on the coffee table I turned to go get one for mom and wack! Shocked silence ensued. I turned around and dad was laughing and red. He said ok dear you wanted to be a woman get used to it most men are pigs.  Okay I laughed :P and mom slapped him on the back of the head. I told him it was the first and last time he got to do it knowing it was just a joke.  Then went to get tea for mom and came right home to write it down.

Yeps dads a dirty old man wonder if that's a welsh trait!

:)
hugs loves
Simone.

OMG, Simone, that was uncalled for.  Really.   :embarrassed: That would "maybe" be sibling behavior, but I have to think from your father, whom you'd just fed, that must have been very hurtful.  Your mom SHOULD have slapped him on the FACE, IMHO...  :(

No I took it as intended a joke.  He's dealing with this in his own way and I'm excepting of that.  Mom smacking him on the back of the head was her way of chiding and saying, watch it old man. 

after yesterdays talk I'll call tonight's events stress relief for the old man.

Besides I laughed too, to be honest.  his face was so red it was priceless.


Hugs Simone.

Hi dear Simone

I think your parents are very supportive, maybe they can't understand why you have to do this but they are loving their child and want to see their child happy one way or another.
I think it's remarkable because they are from older times, another generation, but they are very understanding.
and for you, the way you manage your transition proces....I'm so damned proud om you.
keep on going with the updates, I love your posts, the way you're writing with humor, drama everything...fabulous.

How is life in ontario? around here there are lots of snow, so possible we have a white christmas.

a warm hug from a cold place
annette

Simone,
I am sorry  :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:
I sure didn't mean to leave the e off.
I usually try to be real careful to at least spell a person name right.
:embarrassed:
Forgive. :eusa_pray:

Oh I really enjoy how you write about your parents. They are such a neat for an older couple.
And they are accepting you. I can tell they really love you and want the best for you even if it seem weird to them.

Annette you changed your photo. I almost didn't recognize you.
Did you just change your hair color?
You look nice and I like it.

I is snowing here in Michigan just a few hours away as the crow flies.
Hope your evening is continuing to good well.

Your Sis? :embarrassed:
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on December 17, 2010, 07:14:43 PMYour Sis? :embarrassed:

Honorary.  After I posted that, I hoped it didn't come off harsh.  I didn't want to make you feel bad, and in fact I imagined how it could so easily happen just as a typo, so I sort of regretted it.  But yes, I've "adopted" Simone as my "little sister", but she's going so FAST, I have a feeling she'll be "sister-ing" me before long, lol.  Like, "C'mon, sis, hurry up, it's good!"  I can just see it, lol...

 ;D Simon was the cute one of the 3 chip monks.  Gotta love nerds!^^  ;)

I don't mind typo's I make them too.  But love you Colleen for looking out for me and, love you Jillieann for being so great and love you Annette for smiling and love everyone because it's way more fun to love em then not! 

lol It's snowing snowing snowing here in Ontario and I'm a chilli bones!

hugs all!
Simone

Not snowing here (GTA, Ontario), but I'm a bit farther south than you, and the snow often misses us...

Lucky you Colleen.

enjoy the snow girls, it's summer again before we know.
and yes jillieann, i chanced my avatar, the other one was 1 year old, this one is yesterday.
did I chanced so much that you didn't recognize me? I hope i'm not becoming older on that picture than only a year.(lol)
I chanced hair color back to my own color again.

love you sweeties
annette

You're beautiful, Annette.

Hello I posted a new avatar. It's me with a touch of makeup. 
No wig just short hair and a blouse, a touch of makeup and a smile.  Is there a girl in there?

My makeup consultation went find 500 dollars later I came out with a new face and a lot of product to learn how to use.  Bank is broke for the rest of this year and the beginning of next but I can play with it in front of the mirror. 

It was odd sitting in the cosmetics section getting a make over having people stop and watch. But it didn't bother me and the lady that did the consultation.  Diane was great she helped me a lot and made me feel comfortable.  Now I'm home waiting for my parents to get in so I can show mom.  "Look mom I look like my older sister!" lol

okay off to the little T's room hugs
Simone.

It's not bad, really. Work needs to be done, but I say passing is already at an acceptable point !

It's crazy how human beings can come together so peacefully in times of hardship. We are all in the same boat, we all suffer...in many ways, we connect in that suffering. sigh

Hi Simone

yes, there is a girl in there, you have a very friendly face and you've just started your way to transition.
Keep that picture in mind and look in the mirror in about 2 years.
You'll be suprised honey
I suggest you take a look on the photo sharing tread, you'll see what's possible in a short time.
Oh Colleen thank you , I feel flattered, but keep on flattering to the old woman that I am now, coz it's so nice to hear.
it caresses my vanity, no I'm joking, these where very kind words of you, thank you.

love you girls
annette

Belle took the word right out of my mouth, you said it beautifull

love
annette

Simone, honey, of COURSE there's a girl in there, and she's good-looking, too.  I can see her already.  With a wig on, you'd pass quite well already.  And I think I look like one of my sisters, too, but I have a long way to go yet.  Annette, I don't hand out compliments to just anyone - I mean it, you are beautiful.  Aren't we all.   ;D

Simone.

Thank you so much for posting your picture. I've wondered what you looked like.

Will slightly disagree with some others here. That photo is a woman. Lots of women now have short hair. You should see my wife's. Her's could pass for a short back and sides sometimes.

Based upon that photo, you won't have any problems.

(Have you noticed how many things seem to be going well for you lately? You haven't gone and saved the life of any leprechauns without telling us, have you?)

Well, thank you everyone for the wonderful words of encouragement. Make up can make a big difference!
But your words about almost passing and about the girl inside being visible sure made me feel better.

Now about the consultation and the shopping IE buying after.

Diane started with a Skin Radiance gel exfolliant that's simple and takes about a minute to use. It can be used in the shower or at the sink and should be done each morning regardless, if you are wearing makeup or not!

She next applied a Moisturizer something she said you should do each morning and always before making yourself up.

She next put on some foundation, a nice product by Lize Watier.  It's a liquid foundation that also contains moisturizer.

Under and over the eyes she applied a lifting and firming cream. Then and anti wrinkle primer specially made for around the eyes.

After that she did a 3 in 1 facial primer that she used on the high spots on my face cheek bones and for head. 

Eye makeup, high lights blush a bronzing powder and finished off with tri color brush powder. Eye liner and a mascara called Feline that I found so nice.  Then lip stick and I was finished.  It felt great I looked into the mirror at a new me and didn't care much about those gathered round watching. 

Thrilled as I was I told Diane to pack it all up and the brushes I would need and went happily to the check out. A gasp as the total came to just over 500 dollars, so I presented my credit card tucking my meager two 50's back into my pocket. 

It was worth it. Will last me long enough to learn how to do it all myself and it feels good.  Now I can start saving up again.

Well ladies love you all
Simone
:angel:

Well, I'm going to do something similar next week, but no WAY I can spend $500, so I'll have to be careful, lol...

Colleen my advise is to watch out for the brushes.  Cosmetic brushes  can costs 19 to 25 dollars each.  But I have looked online and found them a lot cheaper too.  Anyway it's morning I'm awake coffee is made boring old sunday again.

Hugs all
Simone

Hey, g'morning, sis!  Yeah, I've heard the brushes can be less expensive at Michael's, and I also know another store where I can get them.  I'll start out by telling the girl I have a budget of like, $200 to start with, and what I mainly need right away is foundation, contour, blush, eyeshadow and mascara - a basic kit.  If she can demonstrate and tell me what else I'd need I could buy the rest later.  Anyway, hope you slept well, darlin'...

Quote from: Simone V on December 19, 2010, 07:11:49 AM
Colleen my advise is to watch out for the brushes.  Cosmetic brushes  can costs 19 to 25 dollars each.  But I have looked online and found them a lot cheaper too.  Anyway it's morning I'm awake coffee is made boring old sunday again.

There is some truth to you get what you pay for though.  More expensive brushes will last longer, etc.  I might not buy everything from MAC, etc but get some good basics from MAC and then whatever else you can find on sale.

Another trip to shoppers today. Picked up some nail polish and a hot wax treatment.

What somehow Sunday isn't as bad when you can include some shopping.
Anyone have tips for applying nail polish and using a hot wax treatment?

Hugs all
Simone

I tried a home wax kit, and was less than thrilled with the results.  I bought a Braun SilkEpil epilator I'm a lot happier with, but it takes some time to learn how best to use it.  I went a couple of weeks ago to a salon to get my chest/abdomen/back waxed, and that was great, but now I'm hairy again (sigh)...  Cost $80, too.

Hi Simone,
Oh it so good to actually see you.
You look like a younger version of my grandmother when I was a young child.
Sure you pass.
HRT and Braun SilkEpil epilator has did a lot for me. I use to be very hairy but now my hair is softer, finer and lighter.
Hopefully  before long I will only need to epil occasionally.
I tried homemade waxing and all I did was make a mess. All over me and the tub :P :embarrassed:
So I can't help with that.
Nail polish,   ::)  I am getting better at that. First the best way is to apply a clean base coat  then the color and finally a clean top finish. As far as getting the polish on the nails and not the skin that just take practice and more practice. :)
Now I usually get most of it on the nails and not on the skin but even cis girls get a little on the skin. :laugh:
  Have fun,
Jillieann

Simone,
Here is a How to on nails hope it helps.
http://www.ehow.com/how_4840218_apply-nail-polish-evenly.html (http://www.ehow.com/how_4840218_apply-nail-polish-evenly.html)
Jillieann

Aww thank you Jillieann, I'm trying and losing weight will help a lot.

I just finished my nails, clear coat only for the first time. Managed to avoid getting any on my skin as well.  Two coats and it looks nice. Just as I finished the second coat, the lady next door came over and brought me here great dane asking me if I could look after Winston for the night.  So there I stood leash in hand 160lb great dane at the end of it and me with fingers fanned open trying not to ruin my wet nails.

Good thing she didn't indicate that she noticed. Seriously no one is noticing and these are people that know me.

lol well. oh well.

I missed you Jillieann having two adopted sisters you and Colleen is very nice.  Everyone is very nice here

hugs Simone.

Quick tip : You may want to think twice before using coloured nail polish ; if you have big hands, it will instantly draw attention towards them !

In my experience, those who "know" me are least likely to notice changes. People who see me once in awhile comment on my weight loss more than anything and I've even had one or two fail to recognize on first sight completely.

I dont know if this is pointless but cosmetics you buy at rite aid/target works just as well as the super expensive stuff you buy at the macys counter/mall. Ive used my share of both and the only thing that i need that is over 30 dollars are all my makeup brushes. only because they are high quality hairs and go on seamlessly.

As far as actual makeup...i am a big fan of mineral, cheap and organic. They work well and save you hundreds of dollars!!!

Makeup is easy, just like getting to Carnegie Hall, all you need to do is practice, practice, practice.  Since it's Xmas you can find all these 'bargain' kits and such at like Longs/CVS/Sears/etc, that are awesome to work with while you're learning to work with the brushes, your face, the colors, and the rest.  No sense in using the high-price spread when your putting it on and off trying to learn to get it right.

I'm with KB on using the mid-line (Revlon, Cover Girl, etc) stuff once you know what you need and the colors you use, but the brushes, that's a different deal because the right tools do make a difference.  That being said, you can find the exact same brush with a cheep wood handle at your local art store for a lot less $$ (and some for a lot more) than when you put a fancy handle on it and sell it in a makeup store.  The real expensive lipsticks however, they really rock.

Two awesome books you should check out...
The Classic (very glam, Hollywood and all that)
http://www.amazon.com/Making-Faces-Kevyn-Aucoin/dp/0316286850 (http://www.amazon.com/Making-Faces-Kevyn-Aucoin/dp/0316286850)

The easy beginner route (far better basic information)
http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Makeup-Beauty-Book-Quant/dp/0789410567 (http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Makeup-Beauty-Book-Quant/dp/0789410567)

Oh yeah, I swear by this stuff:
http://www.neutrogena.com/category/id/64.do (http://www.neutrogena.com/category/id/64.do)

Simone,
Thanks, I missed PM you yesterday too. 
But I did get to PM Colleen. It was nice to talk.

A is right if you don't want to be notice keep to clear polish.
I have gotten most of my makeup from Target. I like CoverGirl best.
One tip on make-up in the real world. Little is better.
:)
Hugs,
Jillieannn

Thanks everyone for the great tips. Next time I need to restock it will be a lot cheaper.

Today took mom dad and one of my moms friends out to a Dutch store in Guelph about a 30 minute drive from home. Dutch stores are famous for Chocolate, cheese, breads and sliced meats
around here.  They are full of cookies honey cakes candies and everything that I like but really, really don't want - need.  So I quickly ducked out sat in my car while they shopped.  Avoiding temptation is not my strong point so it was the wise thing to do.

We'll get back to this momentarily!

So before leaving home I took some time moisturized my face applied some anti wrinkle cream under my eyes then some foundation, that I balanced with a little powder on my cheek bones and for head and chin, then just a touch above the eyes to bring them out.  A very natural look really one would not even know I had makeup on I thought and I was happy with the natural effect.

Now back to the store, So I'm outside sitting in my car relaxing looking at flyer when a old friend from my high school days walks past. I open the window and say "Hey Rob!" he turns frowns smiles confused looking and says "Do I know you?" I replied" yes" saying my name and he says wow you look young! I took that as a real compliment to my almost virgin makeup skills. We chatted for 5 minutes then he went on with his shopping.

After dropping off mom's friend and taking the groceries in for my parents. I went into my own apartment stood in front of the mirror and just smiled for a while.  Feeling good about myself. Then I washed my face put some vitamin E cream on my face and started dinner.

The day was a good day and it proves a point. Even the smallest compliment can make all the difference in the world when it's needed.   I needed it.  (Thanks Rob you don't know it but you made my day.) 

Just like all of you make my day quite often. 
Hugs all
Simone.

Thanks for sharing that, Simone, you started MY day with a smile!  :)

Quote from: A on December 19, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
Quick tip : You may want to think twice before using coloured nail polish ; if you have big hands, it will instantly draw attention towards them !

However if it draws attention away from something else...its a balancing act....

Used to live near a Dutch town in Iowa.  Pella (boyhood home of Wyatt Earp) and they had the Jaarsma Bakery.  "Filthy Dutch Goodies" we called them.  The almond paste filled pastries they called Dutch Letters and the Apple Bread Loaves were both worth running over your grandmother to get to. I admire your willpower in not going in.  I would have been weak and yielded to temptation. But then I always yield to temptation as I don't know when it's going to be coming round again.


http://www.roadfood.com/Restaurant/Reviews/461/jaarsma-bakery (http://www.roadfood.com/Restaurant/Reviews/461/jaarsma-bakery)

I had MY shopping day for makeup today, got a new pair of glasses, too (I don't actually GET them till tomorrow, which is why I'm not wearing them in my avatar photo, which was taken today when I got home).  But... the MAKEUP looks AWESOME!  (well, if I do say so...  :embarrassed: )

Got a whole pile of stuff.  Foundation, concealer, blush, highlighter, eyeshadow, mascara, lip liner and gloss, exfoliating scrub, etc.... but when I got home, I discovered the saleslady had FORGOTTEN to include the EYELINER (Grrrr!)  At least I remember which one it was, so I can pick it up tomorrow. (sigh).  But it feels GREAT to finally have the right makeup... (even though the purse is a lot lighter now...  :o )

Hi Colleen

It suits you very well.
you look totally different without glasses, should contact lenses not be somrthing for you?
I like the new avatar.

love annette

Thanks very much, Annette.  No, unfortunately I can't wear contacts.  For one thing, I need bifocals, which in contacts are rather difficult/expensive (not impossible, but...).  But also I have a condition in which the cornea (or rather the epithelium, the covering on the cornea) has a tendency to want to come off.  When this happens, it's VERY painful, and in the past I've had to go to the hospital to get a patch to let it heal.  I control it using a cream 3x/week, and it's pretty much in check for a long time now.  I wouldn't want to make it worse by wearing contacts.  But yes, I do agree, sans-lunettes is a very good look for me.  The avatar picture could be a pic of one of my younger sisters, I don't think I flatter myself too much by saying that.  Only she's bigger in the boob department, lol (I wear breastforms currently, but have lots of hope for when I go on HRT...)

You do look pretty impressive there Colleen

My wife occasionally wears contact lenses. She to needs bifocals.
But she just bought some reading glasses that she keeps with her.
Seems to work well for her.

Doesn't sound like that would work for you Colleen but maybe some of the other girls can use the tip.
Hope you got your glasses and are happy with them today.

Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on December 22, 2010, 04:30:55 PM
My wife occasionally wears contact lenses. She to needs bifocals.
But she just bought some reading glasses that she keeps with her.
Seems to work well for her.

Doesn't sound like that would work for you Colleen but maybe some of the other girls can use the tip.
Hope you got your glasses and are happy with them today.

Hugs,
Jillieann

I've heard of people doing that. Sadly as Colleen has detached retina, contact lens' are not an option.

Quote from: spacial on December 22, 2010, 07:11:03 PM
I've heard of people doing that. Sadly as Colleen has detached retina, contact lens' are not an option.

No, it's not that, thank God!  Just a small problem with the covering on the cornea, probably hereditary, but it stays pretty well under control these days.  Still, I do know I don't dare try contacts...

Hi Everyone, sorry for not posting for a couple days.

Life has been tossing curve balls at me in the form of my sister.  The sister that I have always felt closest too has suddenly become rather homophobic and antagonistic. While at the same time unwilling to even listen long enough to be told what GID is or the difference between homosexuality and transsexuality. To make matters worse she has chosen to vent her feelings on the topic to many people in the family and our circle of friends of the family.  Most of whom were not aware of my condition. Resulting in a lot of phone calls to myself and my mom.

Being outed is something I would have liked to do myself, In a proper way when I am ready. Not in a negative way behind my back.

So I did attempt to speak with her in person but she avoided me and the resulting conversation took place on the phone.  I have to use the word conversation lightly. Most conversations are two sided.  This was more of a ultimatum. It went something like this.  "You are my brother, you will never be my sister.  If you are gay seek help for it.  I'm sure it's available. But regardless of what you do to yourself. You will never be my sister or a woman.  Call me when you come to your senses but not until then."

Of course this has caused a ripple effect and I am afraid that this years family Christmas will probably be a quiet and sad affair.  My parents have reassured me that they still support my decision. Some of the distant family and family friends have also shown support, and one lady in particular was very vocal against the way my sister is acting.

How am dealing with all this? I'm shocked ,stunned, pained, I feel betrayed and outcast by that sister that was always close to me. But my resolve has not changed.  Her opinion will change or it won't. But I have already lived 43 years hating my body knowing something was wrong and knowing I am female inside.  For me there is no option I am changing because I would rather not live them continue to live stuck in this body.

I have told this to most of my family and the people that have called. Most agree that I must do what will make my life correct for me and make me happy with myself.

Bigotry is a disease it's a mental illness. 

We're not sick we're trying to live.

People who can't except us for what we are. Probably aren't very happy with themselves.

Hugs all of you and Merry Christmas
Simone.

Simone I am so sorry to hear that your sister is being so spiteful and unwilling to talk.
She must really feel hurt inside to try to change your mind that way.
Remember she has lost who she has alway though was her her big brother.
Hang in there sis she still may come around when she stops grieving.
I does sound like a large portion of your family and close friend are accepting and even defending you.
Be thankful that you have family and friends so caring.
It maybe a better Christmas than you are expecting.
I do know what it's like to have loved once not accept you and think you are crazy.
So I am sending you some big long hugs sis.
Jillieann

@Colleen
Honey are looking good. Very nice picture. You have moved so far so quickly, well done. Nothing wrong with nice feminine glasses. Guys do make passes to girls in glasses.


@Simone
So sorry to hear this, particularly as she seemed accepting at first. As for the 'if you are Gay seek help for it' sounds as if she may have been got at by a fundamentalist idiot. My sister accepts me as her sister, but has also asked that she needs to talk to me as her brother as well. I totally accept this, we are in different countries and she has been through a very hard time and does need the brother she knew to be there for her. I'm all the family she has left. Her husband died this time last year, our parents are dead and our younger sister suicided years ago. I have no problems being there for her.

Sorry Simone I hope the family ripple will be a tide of understanding for you.


Love to you both

Cindy

Colleen

I'm looking forward for a avatar with new glasses and I think you'll become a very pretty woman on the outside ( inside you're allready beautifull)

Simone,
maybe it's just the shock of the news for your sister, like jillieann said, she is losing her brother, and time can do a lot.
But, it's your life and you have the right to be happy in the way you want whether your sister like it or not, you can't make decisions about her life and she is not the right person to make decisions about your life especially when it will have such an impact on your mental health, I can't image that someone should be happy when you are depressive.
At least with the rest of the family your coming out was done before you know and most of them support you.
keep on going girl, you're on track now and nobody can stop you, I'll hope your sister will think it over and change her opinion.

love you girls
annette

Quote from: annette on December 23, 2010, 02:35:19 AM
Colleen

I'm looking forward for a avatar with new glasses and I think you'll become a very pretty woman on the outside ( inside you're allready beautifull)

Aww... thanks, sweetie!  Here it is.

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on December 22, 2010, 10:59:19 PM
No, it's not that, thank God!  Just a small problem with the covering on the cornea, probably hereditary, but it stays pretty well under control these days.  Still, I do know I don't dare try contacts...

I do apologise.

As someone who can't see anything without specs I do understand.

And your latest phot demonstrates that you still look good with them on

How to help yourself feel better and put a smile on faces for Christmas.  101

step 1) Got up and spent time reading here.  You all give me reason to smile every one of you. Even the ones that never post in this thread. 

step 2) Baked a rum cake, used a full 26 oz of rum in it and topped it with a fresh cream and egg icing.
step 3) Baked a carrot cake with real carrots and cream cheese - whipped cream topping.

step 4) Spent an hour in the bathroom pampering myself, I smell like a million dollars and look okay.

step 5) Get back online and WISH ALL MY FRIENDS A MARRY CHRISTMAS, hope all of your wishes come true and that you have both a safe and productive time with your friends and family.

Hugs Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 23, 2010, 10:02:54 AMstep 2) Baked a rum cake, used a full 26 oz of rum in it and topped it with a fresh cream and egg icing.

That's the most important one, right there, lol.  And have some nice rum-laced eggnog while eating it.  You also give us many reasons to smile each day.  And I wish for you the same - a very Merry Christmas and a most Happy and Prosperous New Year, full of fun things and wonderful changes.  There will be challenges, and dark days, and tears no doubt, never expect otherwise.  But there will also be much happiness and wonderful times.  I'm sure that one day soon we will go shopping together.  You just keep being you, and wonderful things will happen.

Disclaimer (You may not want to read this)


Lonely

I'm a strange animal, I've spent so many years avoiding groups of people large family gatherings anywhere that I might somehow slip and reveal myself.

First phone call:
Yet I sit here in tears this morning. My oldest sister called asking that I not come to morning the morning Christmas breakfast, because my other sister would be there and they felt that a disruption like happened at moms place in front of the grand children would be negative.  So I drove my parents to my sisters place then came home and await a phone call to pick them up.  While the other sister enjoys what she has always enjoyed. Christmas with the family.

Second phone call:
Mom - Dad and I were invited to a long time family friends for dinner tonight. She's been very excepting of my situation. Unfortunately the call was to tell me that her husband objects to my attending because of my Queer state. She has asked me not to tell my parents in fear that they might not attend and to just excuse myself saying I didn't feel like it.
In other words "don't cause waves."

It's good to cry and let this out. I've never let myself cry like this before. I've never cried because I was being pushed away before having spent my life running away.

Having opened up and come out seems to have impacted everyone around me.  What happiness I have gained seems to have given others pause. What release I have achieved has caused others to withdraw.

So I've taken an extra Prozac turned on the TV and for the first time in months silently contemplated how much better off the world would be with out me around.  I don't know if it would or not but I have come to one conclusion. My mom and dad seem to have excepted this. The everyone else are susceptible to the influence of others. So I was a self made outcast and I've come full circle.
Now I'm out and I'm an outcast by many of my loved ones.

Merry Christmas all

Simone.
:'(

Quote from: Simone V on December 25, 2010, 10:06:19 AM
Unfortunately the call was to tell me that her husband objects to my attending because of my Queer state. She has asked me not to tell my parents in fear that they might not attend and to just excuse myself saying I didn't feel like it.
In other words "don't cause waves."

I do hope you told your parents. It is completely unacceptable that these people think they can come between you.

Quite frankly, they sound like terrible people.

As for your sister, well, sadly, that's family. But outsiders have no right doing this.

Quote from: Simone V on December 25, 2010, 10:06:19 AMSo I've taken an extra Prozac turned on the TV and for the first time in months silently contemplated how much better off the world would be with out me around.  I don't know if it would or not but I have come to one conclusion. My mom and dad seem to have excepted this. The everyone else are susceptible to the influence of others. So I was a self made outcast and I've come full circle.
Now I'm out and I'm an outcast by many of my loved ones.
:'(

Simone, sweetie, PLEASE don't think like this, and don't over-do the Prozac.  I've been down that road, and trust me, it's NOT where you want to go.  Yes, there will be some bad stuff to get through, and YES there will be some tears, but honey, trust me, you WILL get through it, and lots of people here can tell you there is a lot of happiness on the other side.  If you decide to question your transition, that's one thing, but do NOT question your right to be here.  There is NO question about that.

I'm not questioning my transition, I have always questioned my existence. If God exists he has a hell of a strange sense of humor. So many of us hurting for so long because we're born what we can't be, inside. 
Then when we finally step forward and push our selves out of the dark and cold. There are those that stand ready to push us back in. Normally these are the people we care about.
I intend on transitioning. I might someday be alone in the world because of it.
But I am hoping that those that turn away are replaced by some of greater fortitude.
I hope to find a family of like minded people that I will see in reality and pray that the declining years of my life prove to be more pleasant then the years to this point.

To be honest today I was blind sided my siblings and friends. I'll get over it, I'm sure many of you have experienced the same at some point.

Hugs Simone

Quote from: Simone V on December 25, 2010, 12:28:07 PMI might someday be alone in the world because of it.

You'll never be alone in the world, Simone.  You have us, if no-one else.  And we love you for who you are.  And you will have lots of other friends, and maybe even significant others.  You'll never be alone.

Gerry & The Pacemakers – You'll Never Walk Alone (2:27) (http://www.last.fm/music/Gerry%2B%2526%2BThe%2BPacemakers/_/You%27ll+Never+Walk+Alone)

Quote from: Simone V on December 25, 2010, 12:28:07 PM
I'm not questioning my transition, I have always questioned my existence. If God exists he has a hell of a strange sense of humor. So many of us hurting for so long because we're born what we can't be, inside. 
Then when we finally step forward and push our selves out of the dark and cold. There are those that stand ready to push us back in. Normally these are the people we care about.
I intend on transitioning. I might someday be alone in the world because of it.
But I am hoping that those that turn away are replaced by some of greater fortitude.
I hope to find a family of like minded people that I will see in reality and pray that the declining years of my life prove to be more pleasant then the years to this point.

To be honest today I was blind sided my siblings and friends. I'll get over it, I'm sure many of you have experienced the same at some point.

Hugs Simone

Simone.

I can't give you an easy answer, but as your confidence grows, I think you'll stop putting up with this crap.

Many of us know so well the feeling of being a doormat, we spend our lives in compromise, trying to be men while lacking the male instincts, because we are really women. We know what we are. We've always known. But we needed to compromise and ended up being second rate men.

To quote a line from that song, I wish I'd been born a girl, instead of this wreak of a man.

If I've learnt something from Susans', and compared to what I thought I knew, I've learnt everything, it's that, when we can be ourselves, we can begin to build.

You have a lot of catching up to do. But I'm pretty sure, that, you are going to emerge from this a mre confident woman than you were ever an effective man.

Hi sweety

I must agree with spacial and colleen.
stop putting up the crap because like colleen said, you never be alone in this world.
and believe me Simone, the world would not be better without you, it's contrary.
You are just a wonderful person, look, how long are you on susan's and how many friends did you make who are compassionate with you.
I think this will say enough about you, people love you on the way you are.
You are rejected by some people, this will happen more but there will be other people who won't judging you, but respect you, i'll respect you, you're somebody with courage. Don't let yourselve go depressed by other people, that was in an earlier life, these days are over now, IT'S YOUR TURN NOW.
stay strong sister, sometimes we have to take some hurdles, but what are hurdles in a long journey, nothing, we take them with a big smile because we have another fight to win, and you will win.

Please Simone keep up the faith, we are here to support you.

love sweety and a big christmaskiss

annette

Hi Simone,
Hang in there girl. Sadly people with the stupid gene seem to breed faster than those of us with the acceptance gene. But we win in the end.

I spent Christmas day with my wife, I brought her from the nursing, home, and her family. All of the family know and accept me, except we haven't told my mother in law as she in her nineties and we don't want to shock her.  So I wore female jeans and T with female runners, nice and pink ::), my gold hoop ear rings and watch and perfume and mascara, I just didn't wear a wig.

Every one was fine. My wife's carers, all gave me a hug and a kiss. Two of them said my perfume was nice and what was it - and they have never met Cindy in the flesh. ::), So there are accepting people Simone. we just have to keep looking for them, and never give in to the idiots who have no understanding of what humanity means, what Christmas means, and what family means.  But we do.

Hugs :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch:

Cindy

Oh Simone, It does hurt. :'(
I am so sorry that people family and freinds treated you that way.
Your sisters mad the wrong decisions, and they have missed the company of a have caring sibbling.
>:( :'( :(   I'm being upset , sorry.  Just hate it when people act so stupid.

QuoteSo many of us hurting for so long because we're born what we can't be, inside. 
Then when we finally step forward and push our selves out of the dark and cold. There are those that stand ready to push us back in. Normally these are the people we care about.
I intend on transitioning. I might someday be alone in the world because of it.

Your so right and I too am not happy with the thought of being alone and at 60 it can be very scary.

But don't ever ever think it would have been better if you had never been born.
That is so wrong. You have so encourgaged us (me). And I so treasure your friendship.
You are not along Colleen and I are here and a lot of other good and loving people at Susan's.

Hugs Sis, I hope and pray that tommorow is a better day for you.
Jillieannn

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I am feeling a little better now. Was still a lonely Christmas day but I managed to get through it. I said nothing and played taxi driver for mom and dad.

Tomorrow I have to make a turkey for them as they are expecting some other guests.  But I am going to excuse myself from Dinner.

I feel for now anyway I should distance myself from more exposure to any bias's that people may have. For my own sanity, being strong is a good thing but self punishment through exposure is silly.

Anyway merry Christmas extended family!
Simone

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_9Lp273XJu6o%2FRzSb4TdfAtI%2FAAAAAAAAA0U%2F_R2W3dDInuU%2Fs400%2Fsnoopyhug.jpg&hash=f8c57b64a1a776f23ccca058c7118737bbc162b8)
Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

we should have a Susan's get together sometime. Pick a place and try to all make it for a weekend of stress free just being us with out concern for what others think good time.

Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2010, 03:43:32 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_9Lp273XJu6o%2FRzSb4TdfAtI%2FAAAAAAAAA0U%2F_R2W3dDInuU%2Fs400%2Fsnoopyhug.jpg&hash=f8c57b64a1a776f23ccca058c7118737bbc162b8)
Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

Aww, Jillieann, that was beautiful.  Simone, I couldn't agree with you more.  Perhaps one day we'll make it happen.

Hi Simone

thank God, christmas is over now, just the hurdle of newyear and we can go on with the normal life.
I think you have taken it very well, it wasn't easy but you did it.
The next year should be a better year, don't you think?
It's always very stressfull, the holidays, doing the shopping, meeting the family ( who not always are very friendly despite the message peace on earth)
But....we survived it.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better now, carry on girl, they have to respect you, coz you are a wonderfull person with a good sense of humor, and we love you for that.

colleen...I take everything back about what i've said about lenses, your new glasses suit you very well.

love
annette

Colleen,
I'm sorry with Christmas and all I some how missed saying that I like your avatar with your new glasses.
Your look good girl.
Jillieann

The problem with Christmas is that we all expect it to be so good. We are all expected to be so happy.

We bring together a pile of people whospend the rest of the year avoiding each other. We spend loads that we don't have and get sick eating too much.

The presents we buy are generally disappointing. The decorations take ages to put up and even longer to get down. There's always a terrible mess to clean up.

The TV is generally boring, what good stuf there is is one when other good stuff is one and we end up watching sports anyway.

The news always seems to find a reason to make us misrable. Then someone reminds  us that most of the world is hungry.

Still, only another 363 shopping days left till the next one

Haha, funny comment, spacial.

(and, even though it's depressing, it's true in so many cases)

hehe okay please don't mind the mock accent I'm about to try in text. My brother in law is from Italy and from a very catholic family so yesterday at the dinner I felt I would cook for but not attend.  I was surprised, My brother in law came knocking on my door with something to say. So here it is sort of.

"Lett a me say some-a  thing! I'm -a no care about what ever you wanna do. What ever you do is okay wit me. But you cook a dinner you come and eat wit us! You wanna be a woman be a woman. But you don't walk a way so-a fast!"

My jaw hurt all night because it dropped so hard!
Turns out my older sister and her husband are not letting my other sister dictate to them so much after all. I felt good and we had my turkey dinner and it came out moist, I did muff up the stuffing though. But the Gravy and mash made up for it. My carrot cake was a success as well.

Now onto other things.

Quote from: spacial on December 27, 2010, 06:42:45 AM
The problem with Christmas is that we all expect it to be so good. We are all expected to be so happy.

We bring together a pile of people who spend the rest of the year avoiding each other. We spend loads that we don't have and get sick eating too much.

The presents we buy are generally disappointing. The decorations take ages to put up and even longer to get down. There's always a terrible mess to clean up.

The TV is generally boring, what good stuff there is is one when other good stuff is one and we end up watching sports anyway.

The news always seems to find a reason to make us misrable. Then someone reminds  us that most of the world is hungry.

Still, only another 363 shopping days left till the next one

So True Spacial but then sometimes someone surprises you.

Quote from: annette on December 27, 2010, 03:09:35 AM
Hi Simone

thank God, christmas is over now, just the hurdle of newyear and we can go on with the normal life.
I think you have taken it very well, it wasn't easy but you did it.
The next year should be a better year, don't you think?
It's always very stressfull, the holidays, doing the shopping, meeting the family ( who not always are very friendly despite the message peace on earth)
But....we survived it.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better now, carry on girl, they have to respect you, coz you are a wonderfull person with a good sense of humor, and we love you for that.

colleen...I take everything back about what i've said about lenses, your new glasses suit you very well.

love
annette

Yes thank god Christmas is over.  New years eve for me will be a quiet affair for me.

Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2010, 03:43:32 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_9Lp273XJu6o%2FRzSb4TdfAtI%2FAAAAAAAAA0U%2F_R2W3dDInuU%2Fs400%2Fsnoopyhug.jpg&hash=f8c57b64a1a776f23ccca058c7118737bbc162b8)
Hang in there Simone.
Jillieann

How did you know I love snoopy and woodstock!

Quote from: CindyJames on December 25, 2010, 10:02:08 PM
Hi Simone,
Hang in there girl. Sadly people with the stupid gene seem to breed faster than those of us with the acceptance gene. But we win in the end.

I spent Christmas day with my wife, I brought her from the nursing, home, and her family. All of the family know and accept me, except we haven't told my mother in law as she in her nineties and we don't want to shock her.  So I wore female jeans and T with female runners, nice and pink ::), my gold hoop ear rings and watch and perfume and mascara, I just didn't wear a wig.

Every one was fine. My wife's carers, all gave me a hug and a kiss. Two of them said my perfume was nice and what was it - and they have never met Cindy in the flesh. ::), So there are accepting people Simone. we just have to keep looking for them, and never give in to the idiots who have no understanding of what humanity means, what Christmas means, and what family means.  But we do.

Hugs :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch:

Cindy

You have a lovely new picture Cindy.
I am learning quickly that extended family can come from far away and you get to chose who they are.
Thank you all for being my extended family

Hugs
Simone

Simone.

That is brilliant news about your brothr-in-law and your sister.

You know, it's fun to read your posts, because though you are facing up to a lot of problems, each one, more or less, sees to be tumbling down, almost like a lot of wall made o polystyrine and no glue.

You stick in there girl. I really think you'r headed for a home run.

That was such a heartwarming story, Simone!  I am so happy for you.  You deserve it.

A happy Christmas story is so uplifting after getting through my own. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad it went better than expected for you.


(The accent part was cool)

Oh Simone, it's so good to hear all worked out at the dinner with your older sister and brother-in-law.
And I am happy that you got to enjoy some time with the family.
As Spacial said your knocking down walls left and right.
Way to go girl, stick to your guns sis.

I had no idea that you loved Snoopy and Woodstock but I'm glad you do.
I'm a fan of the Peanuts Gang, but my favorite are Snoopy and Woodstock.
I wore a Christmas Snoopy and Woodstock t-shirt all Christmas Eve day that had Snoopy on a sled in the star light night sky with a Woodstock and his bird friends, with reindeer antlers pulling the sled. I smile every time I look down at it.
On Christmas day I had on Snoopy with a Santa outfit on saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Hugs,
Jillieann
 

Hi Simone
glad to hear things get well after all.
I think I like your italian brother in law, he is someone who thinks live and let live.
after all you won't hurt nobody with being happy in the way you are, contrary you make people happy and that's a gift you own.

maybe for next year we have to read the book of John Cleese....how to survive christmas.

love
annette

This is totally not on topic but!

Today I had a conversation with my father, we were chatting about the British Royal Family and how it is that the woman in that family live so long and age so gracefully.  I tend to follow the royals ever since the lady Dianna era.

So when I mentioned it dad said. "Well let me tell you something, soaking things in wine or gin has long been a method of preservation and you can on the amounts of liberal libation done in buckingham castle!

So there's our secret! Let the drinking begin!

:P

Hugs Simone

Simone thank you for sharing that lovely Christmas story. I am glad your brother in law is a good man. I think Christmas is overrated personally and not fun for way too many people.

I want to say that it is a pleasure to see your smiling avatar.

I am glad too your parents are good and loving people. I loved the part where your mom said to your dad, "See I told you so."

Like Spacial said there a plenty of accepting people, kind wonderful people. It is funny though how the idiots of this world can shoot a dart into our heart and cause us so much pain with thier rejection. The fact is they are just selfish stupid people. I like to read Spacials advice she always knows what to say about those kind of people. She is exactly right.

Lord Kat, Colleen, Jillian, Annette and Cindy James are really great people here too with tons of support to offer. As you already know. There are many many many great people here and you are too. Well I am looking forward to more of your posts. Thanks for the Christmas Cheer!

~Big Hugs~

Mrs Erocse~

I admire your spunk, Simone. Don't worry, you'll get there.

You have discovered that transition is great for separating the wheat from the chaff .
Your brother-in-law sounds like a keeper.

Oh Simone,
You made me laugh again with your royalty thing.
Thanks I needed it.
:laugh:
Jillieann

Thank you Mrs Erocse.
You often cheer many of us up when we need it.
And share with us when we are having problems and you help us not feel so alone.
Thanks.
Jillieann

My father (an American) had a different take on longevity - he's always said that if nearly everything you eat contains preservatives, then eventually you'll be too well-preserved to die!  He's still with us, BTW (and I am NOT looking forward to coming out to him and my mother - they're Republicans...  :o )

I've not been posting much for the last 3 or so days, because I have been very sick. Was running a high fever couldn't lay down to sleep because of the philem. So I ended up sitting in the living room. Sleeping on a chair. Yesterday I went to the MD and got some antibiotics, I'm still running a fever but I feel a bit better and maybe able to sleep in a bed tonight.

I hope I feel 100% by Monday since that will be my first group meeting at Torchlight Gender Support.  Once I goto a meeting or two at Torchlight Gender Support, I'll look into Gender Journeys at the Sherbourne Health Centre in Toronto.  Still waiting on word from the CAMH but that can take 6 weeks and maybe more since things started rolling right in the Christmas season.

On an Up side today I got my flats that I ordered online from the US.  They fit perfect in fact I can even wear socks in them. That made my day.  I wore them around the apartment most of the afternoon. Just felt nice and yeah I do have a thing for shoes.

I missed you all Colleen, Jillieann, Renate, spacial, annette and Mrs Erocse as well as everyone else that I see here at Susan's. I wish I could hug you all. Right after I lose the cold since I don't want to pass it to you!

Hugs
Simone

Aww... {{{{{{{{{Simone}}}}}}}}}}  <--- hugs

Sorry to hear that, sweetie.  My wife's been sick today, also.  Something going around, definitely.  I was sick on Christmas day.  Hope you feel better soon.  You will SO benefit from the support group!  I haven't attended that one, but it was recommended to me by a friend, it's just that there's a closer one in Hamilton.  I went to the Hamilton group the other night (Wednesday) for the first time since starting Gender Journeys, and it was great to see everyone again.  It was like coming home.  And everyone was glad to see me, and they all complimented me on how I've changed in the past 11 weeks.  Can't wait for the next meeting, which is Jan 12.  That'll be the day after my CAMH appointment, and I have my next therapy session that day also - basically I'll go straight from the therapist to the support group.  Can't wait!

Anyway, you're gonna love the group, I think.  It is SO good to be able to talk with others like us, in person, and get REAL hugs (and give them).  Can't wait for you to tell us how it went.  Hooray about the shoes, too!

Simone.

Hope you have a wonderful time over the ner'day and a great New Year

Hi Simone

I'll hope you recover soon, antibiotics should help within 48 hours, than you must see some improvement, so just a little timne left and you feel a bit better.

I sure appreciated your e-hugs, honey, and it's a matter of fact when you don't write for a while....we miss you too.

Hey sweety.....a very,very happy newyear for you.

lots of hugs( and there is a big one in it)

annette

Your story is amazing is in sweet honestly, power and sadness.  I don't have much to say, being on the other end of the spectrum, non-op and closeted to my family, but you are an amazing person.

Good to hear things turned out well for you.   

As for the drinks, remember" tis the season to get prostrate" dear.   :D

Recently I have witnessed a lot of things that I never experienced, before coming out and admitting that I have GID to my family and friends. That has spurred me forward to read of other peoples similar experiences.

A re occurring theme among us all seems to be that those around us feel that we the Transgendered MTF & FTM community suffer from selfishness and self centered emotions.
So I went ahead and researched the very meaning of the word "Selfishness" .

(Selfishness denotes an excessive or exclusive concern with oneself; and as such it exceeds mere self interest or self concern. In that it necessarily connotes a disregard for others, it is beyond the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.)

Question, does that sound like you and I?
Answer well maybe depending on point of view I suppose.

Myself, I spent 43 years hiding who I am from the world because I did not wish to be an embarrassment to my family. With no regard for what it was doing to myself mentally and physically. One could call it a state of self depreciating Altruism. 

Why then am I maybe selfish?
After 43 years of living my life in a state of self depreciating Altruism that left me mentally depressed to the point of impairment. As a matter of survival I learned to be mildly selfish!

Mildly selfish?
That's what I'm calling it. My selfishness is mild form of the concept of Selfishness. The reasons I have for my selfishness is survival. I cannot continue to survive unless I can thrive.  It's like planting a seed giving it a time to geminate then depriving it of water.
The plant dies the roots dry up it fails to thrive there for it fails to survive.
If the plant could talk and if it demanded water?  Would you call it selfish?

Which brings us to the next logical step. Are we truly selfish for wanting to survive and thrive or are they selfish for not excepting us for what we are and need to be in order to survive?

Oh ho role reversal going on.
In my case one of my two sisters is the only person in my family that has issue with me and is willing to make waves for everyone to drive her point home. Remember ((Selfishness denotes an excessive or exclusive concern with oneself; and as such it exceeds mere self interest or self concern. In that it necessarily connotes a disregard for others, it is beyond the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.))

So next time someone says you are being selfish.  Tell them to go look in the mirror because clearly the pot is calling the kettle black!

Hugs all Simone.

I honestly think its important to have some selfishness.  If I didn't start thinking about what I really needed to do and saying, "OK!  Its time for me, I'm done putting on the act for the rest of society!"  then I would probably still be doing that, putting on a pretty little show outside and then feeling like complete and utter s**t on the inside. 

Granted, I know its important to not let the confidence turn to cockiness, otherwise you start driving people away!  And that's the last thing I think we all would want to do.  Simone, you seem like a very logical and caring woman, I wish your sister could just accept who you are...or at the least not go out of her way to belittle you.

*hugs*
Rini

Quotethe Transgendered MTF & FTM community suffer from selfishness and self centered emotions.

One of those irrefutable arguments really.

But if anyone thinks transgender people are selfish and self centred, they need only look at Susans'. One of the behavours that is rarely seen here is selfishness.

Still, it's a position that I would not bother to dispute. Simply because it is such a childish and self centred thing to say.

Simone, I agree 100%.  However, in one sense, the label "self-centered" could properly be applied to us, merely because there is SO much to learn and do, it takes pretty much everything we have to succeed.  That is why it is truly unfortunate for those of us who have long-term partners, those partners really get the short end of the stick.  I mused to my therapist once that I had no idea how I had managed to be in such deep denial all those years, and she said I was just doing what was necessary to survive.  And that I still am, but the definition of "survival" has changed, and so have my needs in that regard.  The thing that's hard for our loved ones to accept is that this isn't something we're doing "to" them, it's just something we NEED to do, for our very survival.  It's sad when they can't join us on the journey, but that doesn't make us "bad".

Simone,
I to have wrestled with the selfishness thing allot and still do.
On the other-side I have said and believe that I would die for my family.
The problem is I almost did.  :)
And now that I am doing things to survive should I feel guilty?
I do keep playing the what ifs.
What if what I effects my grandchildren in a negative way?
I do not want to hurt them nor do I want to hurt my spouse or my children.
These are things I have to wrestle with.
Many of us have tried to fight (ourselves) GID and it just doesn't work.
So we doing what can be called <B>self preservation</B>.
The term <i>self preservation in its simplest definition describes both the set of behaviors by means of which individuals attempt to preserve their own existence and the psychical processes that establish these behaviors.
It is a basic instinct that we have.
So what we are doing is literally fighting for our survival.
And I am here to help you Simone, Colleen and other, here a Susan's survive and more.
I have been greatly help myself from my family at Susan's.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Your sister's annoyed because you are getting attention and you will now be competition for her. Enjoy the jealousy, hell, you could even tell her it's all her fault for dressing you up when you were little!

Allow the lady inside you to emerge and have the time of your life.

Hi Simone

I don't think we are selfish just for the fact that we don't want to hide our inner true anymore.
Look at yourselve, how you've support your parents for a long time. Thank God they are supporting you now.
How you care about other persons feelings and now that others can't handle your feelings than you are selfish, I think that will say more about the other than about you.
Look at this site, how we try to support eachother, we do take care.
I would think we are suffering of altuism rather than selfishness.
When I divorced from my wife because of gid and she didn't want to live with another woman it becames clear that the whole  family looked at me as the guilty one because with me "there was something wrong "( like i did have a choice)
My ex didn't want me to meet, espacialy when she had a new bf, so when my son graduated I was not invited because my e wife was there with her husband.
While I was the one who helped him with his thesis.
It taked a lot of tears, believe me, and nobody at that time (except my little sister) did give me any comfort because they thinked I made a choice they did'nt like so it was my own fault.
The only thing you can say about us is that we are persisting in our believe and we'll keep on fighting till we reached wat we want.
And you are defenitely not selfish but a warm and lovable woman with a selfish angry sister.
So don't doubt at yourselve but please stay the way you are coz there is nothing wrong with you.

lots of love my dear sister

annette

Simone,

Your sister is selfish to not want you to be happy. She is not trying to understand.

I don't get why people just don't try to understand. They lie, they turn thier back on good, loving people, they themselves are not perfect. It makes me angry how people are. ( Not everyone just the arrogant, stupid, selfish people).

I wish thier was a magic pill that made them just not matter. Erocse's sister and brothers along with thier husband and wives are bigots. It hurts me to see how they hurt her. It is hard for me to speak about it. I know exactly how you must feel. I am sorry that people are so ugly sometimes.

On the brighter side, so many of our family, has been wonderful and accepting. We went to see them over the holidays and took photos of family and friends. I posted them on facebook for the world to see. I titled the album Unconditional Love. I want the bigots to have the opportunity to see that they are the minority and that they are the only ugly in this world. 

@ Annette,
I am sorry that you had to go thru this all too.
Much Love and Hugs.

Patty

I just wanted to say Simone, that I enjoyed reading all of your posts on this thread, and everybody elses on here too.  Gave me a lot of hope and I will continue to follow :)

Quote from: Mrs Erocse on January 01, 2011, 09:29:39 PM
It hurts me to see how they hurt her. It is hard for me to speak about it. I know exactly how you must feel. I am sorry that people are so ugly sometimes.

Keep reminding Roxy that it hurts most of us as well. She doesn't deserve that and they don't deserve her.

My First Four Steps Before birth.

Catchy title huh?
I'm going with it because of how I have begun to think about all this.
Becoming a woman is so important to me.  It has been a life time dream both waking and sleeping. One that I truly believed was totally unattainable.
So I've classed it as an event tantamount to BIRTH and this whole period of waiting and preparation (Dr's visits, Group support, Gender therapy, HRT, SRS everything that goes along with it!) Will be like time spent growing again from nothing.

The old Boy that I was will no longer be when I am re born a woman.

Susan's Place and people that live here have helped me so much with defining my feelings and setting my goals for the first 4 steps before Brith!

Realization - Check, I admitted to myself that I am not what I appear to be and will never be happy acting as him.

Confirmation - Check, I'm not alone, there are people like me not only mtf but ftm and we are all okay. We're normal people and a lot of people except us for who and what we are. 

Inspiration - CHECK, wow that was so easy I looked at the before and after pictures posted by so many of you. Now I know with work and commitment I to can change myself from shrek to a reasonable and passable looking lady.

Transformation. Working on it!

I am so in love with you all. I want to adopt you as sisters brother cousins family

oh and PS the FTM boys are all so cute. To bad they're all so young. :(
Oh listen I'm being a tart! I love it. :P

PPS

Quote from: Mrs Erocse on January 01, 2011, 09:29:39 PM
Simone,

Your sister is selfish to not want you to be happy. She is not trying to understand.

I don't get why people just don't try to understand. They lie, they turn thier back on good, loving people, they themselves are not perfect. It makes me angry how people are. ( Not everyone just the arrogant, stupid, selfish people).

I wish thier was a magic pill that made them just not matter. Erocse's sister and brothers along with thier husband and wives are bigots. It hurts me to see how they hurt her. It is hard for me to speak about it. I know exactly how you must feel. I am sorry that people are so ugly sometimes.

On the brighter side, so many of our family, has been wonderful and accepting. We went to see them over the holidays and took photos of family and friends. I posted them on facebook for the world to see. I titled the album Unconditional Love. I want the bigots to have the opportunity to see that they are the minority and that they are the only ugly in this world. 

@ Annette,
I am sorry that you had to go thru this all too.
Much Love and Hugs.

Patty

Erocse was another total inspiration for me.  Tell her! She looks fab!!!

love hugs
Simone. 

PPPS Colleen, Jillieann where are you?

Simone, we all love you too, you're quite remarkable, the way you take care of your parents, making the food for christmas and don't forget...your will(girl)power.
There is a whole new person standing in front of us, I can't hardly wait to see what an amazing woman you are gonna be......and you will be.

Patty, thanks honey, you are such an emphatic person, but on the other hand, the expiriences weren't nice to get trough but it has made me the one that I am now.
I know I'm a fighter and i will never give up.
My son is an adult now with a babyboy of his own( yes I'm a grandma ) and we do have a good relationship so things worked out pretty good.
But it were sweet words of you and I sure appriciate that
give my love to roxy and what ever happends, what ever the family will agree or disagree with your way of life, the both of you look the perfect couple in my eyes and loving eachother is more important than what others should think or say about it.

lots of love
annette

Hi Simone,
All the weekend festivities been keeping me busy.
But I am here for you sis.
I agree with Annette, except your already a lovely women.
But like Annette I can hardly wait to see your physical changes.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Hi Simone
I totally agree with Jillieann, you are already a lovely woman but what I ment to say is that there is a development and you develope so fast...amazing.
I wish I could set the clock forwards to see what happends after your journey....I think there is gonna be a woman with so much friends because of the way you are, kind, friendly, confident and lovely.
There is so much difference in the way you behaving and the way you look to the things of life between page 1 of your story and page 10 and it's a very positive change.
When I read this again I think you must be a lot happier now than you was before and I enjoy it so much to see how you are making this progress, I really love your posts.
You're on track honey, keep on going, you'll suprised me every time and I love to be suprised by you
btw, is your mother dutch? sometimes i've read dutch expressions in your posts.

a big hug for my sister
annette

OKAY WOW

I had a fabulous night, I decided to go to my first Torchlight Gender Support group meeting dressed and as nervous as I was I started to get ready early. The meeting was at 7 so at 5:30 I hit the shower, Hair removal then hit the shower, did a facial scrub, washed and conditioned my hair. Then blow dried and styled my hair, bit of Ozone friendly hair spray and it was looking as feminine as it was going to look at my current length. Moved on to making my face, Moisturized and anti aged, foundation then a mixed fixer. Moved on to eyes, decided to use a lighter look so used some powder on the upper eye just a bit darker then my natural lower eye high light with a shade lighter then my skin then over laid the upper eye lids with a bit of golden. Moved to eye liner oh wow Eyeliner is so hard but I got it eventually.  Thanks to MeghanAndrews and her online video on makeup for going out to a club.  I got my eyes correct then added some mascara and it looked nice.  Brushed on some powder on for head cheek bones hit my nose upper lips chin and neck with it and then highlighted it all with a slightly lighter powder.  Lipstick and gloss and done.  Looked at the clock. Eeeeee eeeK! 6:17PM run run.

Bedroom Panties, Knee highs nylons, Leggings and a long black blouse that comes 2/3s of the way down to my knees.  Slipped on my flats dash to the washroom and perfume. Touch up in the mirror.
No purse, looking around panic! Black Rogers Cable bag dropped in a few items I might need to touch up. My wallet, cell phone keys. Run out to the car. 6:35pm OMG. Drive as quickly as I can legally to Cambridge about 20 minute drive.  Park the car and walked into the meeting just as the others were arriving whew.  Even had time to go to the ladies room and check my face once.

The meeting was small but great there were 4 of us. One nice girl was celebrating as she had gotten her SRS letter from CAMH today.  We talked about all sorts of things no real organization but a lot of friendly banter from like minded ladies.
Got a lot of advice a few new e-mail addresses and a lead on some work from home work I can do to supplement my pension. Several business cards from local lazer clinics etc and exchanged phone numbers.  It was nice they all look so lovely and asked me how far along I am.  I said I just started and some looked surprised as a lot of new trans people come in man mode.

Well it was wonderful and I am so happy.  Just had to run home and tell you all, all about it.

Hugs Simone.

Oh Simone that's great.
I perfer a small groups.
That way you are able to ask questions and share in more detail.
And the best part is that you get to know the people in the group.
I'm so glad that everything went so well.
Keep going Sis,
Jillieann

Oh, Simone, I KNEW you'd have a great time!  I bet the group was so small mainly because of the holidays - I bet there's more at the next meeting.  At the Hamilton group I attend, there's almost always a pretty even mix of transmen and transwomen, and there's usually about 15-20 people there.  I agree, a small group is good, but larger groups can be good, too, if you attend regularly.  Anyway, I'm glad it went so well.  I knew it would!   ;D

Simone I'm so happy for you.
Making new friends is always great.
And for a woman who's so kind as you are it wouldn't be difficult to have a lot of friends and support.
You deserve it to have a lot of caring people around you.
Good for you sweety

love
annette

Hello everyone, Sorry to have been away for several days now.

I've had a lot going on including some dental work that needed doing and has left me feeling like someone hooked a tire bar onto my teeth and started to pull.

But here I am back again with nicer teeth and finally starting to feel well. It's amazing what effects can be caused by a few in attended cavities. I had a ear infection that was a lingering thing.  Didn't know it was some how part of a tooth problem. Brushed everyday and all.  Simple fact is I had become so accustomed to the pain from the cavities that I stopped noticing it.  So 700 plus dollars later I am finally ok. Tired happy and missing everyone. 

Hugs all and hope to hear from you soon.

Glad to see you back and feeling better, Simone!  I'll be offline mostly for the next couple of days, as I'll be staying with a friend tomorrow night in Toronto so I can get to CAMH Tuesday morning on time and lookin' good.  And Tuesday is my wife's birthday, so I might not be able to come back here until Wednesday.  Just so you know where I am and don't worry about me...

Hugs, girl, it's good to see you back!

Glad your teeth are better Simone. Sorry that your pocket book is lighter. Nothing like a visit to the dentist to lighten the load in a pocketbook.  :)

Have fun Colleen. Hope you have the best time. Look forward to your return and the update of your adventures.

Hugs.
Patty

It's good to have you back Simone.
I was asking Colleen what had happen to you.
You were missed hon.
How's that ear infectiion doing?
Hugs'
Jilliean

Hi Simone

aaahh, good you're back
700 dollars lighter but, I pressume with a lovely smile.
How's life going on sweety, is the rest of the family used now about your new you?


love
annette

Welcome back !

Aw, you just reminded me that I have not gone to the dentist for months and have those back teeth I do not have time to search the name in English for that are growing and got infected the last time I saw the dentist. Too bad I have no insurance, hehe. I feel like in the US, just "hoping it cures itself" because I can't afford treatment xD. (Not funny actually ; I feel bad for you all.)

Back to Simone. I have been thinking... Maybe you should open a blog, with all the updates you give us on this thread ! Just an idea. But do keep us informed on your progress !

A I think you are refering to wisdom teeth. I have one that needs pulling too. Yet I have a hefty dental bill already, so I am hoping it will wait.  :)

If you want a HEFTY dental bill, try an implant.  One implant, even WITH dental plan paying for a LOT of it... $4,000. (just about to leave for the train, couldn't resist popping in...)

Have a good trip Colleen.
Wish you the best.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Oh, you have the same name. We call them wisdom teeth too. Should've just said it.
/thread hijack, sorry

I met Simone last night in person.  She is a beautiful woman, and she has a big heart.  She is every bit as beautiful as she comes across here.  She will go far in life.  Simone, I am so glad to know you!

Simone and Colleen it is so nice that  you two got to meet. Hope to hear more of your time together. Colleen you still have to make a post filling us in on you time out. :)

Hugs,

Roxy & Patty

 :) Oh my God, Oh my god! 

Well I twisted another Trans friends arm into going with me to Hamilton's Group meeting,  because I wanted to go with someone. I spent to many year's driving a big truck alone.
Now that I am beginning my transition I love to have someone along and feel safer with company.  So my Friend Cori who just got her Golden letter and is approved for her SRS. Came for the ride.

I had e-mailed Colleen earlier telling her I would be at the meeting and she said that she would be there but be a little late. Wonderful I thought! "As long as I get to see you".

So I spent a sleepless night before the meeting excited happy so many good thoughts going through my mind. Finally falling asleep at 5 am.  Got up at 9 am and rushed to have breakfast. Then clean the car off and shopping.  I needed a woman's coat and there was a sale on Nylons 3 pair for $14.50 so I had to get in on that.  I also got a lovely purple winter coat with a hood. Ended up also going to value village and Talize. Wanted to get my ears pierced but I ran out of steam before I could.

Home for lunch cooked a larger meal for my parents and set up something for them for dinner.
Then I just started to get ready. Now it's 2:30pm the meeting starts at 7pm.  By 3:30 I am dressed made up nylons, skirt black blouse.  Hair done best I can and makeup to my satisfaction. Sitting around tapping my foot.  So I said to heck with it. I got over to Cori's early. Benefit of this is. I saw all of Cori's family her 1 year old, her lovely wife & special needs son and her 12 year old daughter.  All of whom with out exception said hello Simone and never once refereed to me as he. Over joyed by that and playing with the baby while talking. I spent a lovely afternoon and time flew past. At 5ish we started the hour drive but the roads are not great so I took 1.5 hours to get there.

We got to the meeting.  Well they had snacks and coffee, some soda. A circle of chairs (large circle) was in the middle of the room.  Everyone sat and we made small talk and introductions before the meeting began. I had the pleasure of meeting a lady who had just finished her SRS in Bangkok, her bottom cost her $5000. And her flight was only $1300. $6300 for the same service  that would cost $20.000 in North America.  Makes you think!

The meeting began it was run by Will a F2M that passes 100 percent and is very nice ran it. There were even numbers of F2M and M2F people present and it was nice to see both sides and get to know people. After formal introductions we had a break. Colleen came in and I felt so silly. She looks lovely, but my jaw popped open and all I manages was Colleen you are so tall!
I felt so dorky when she pointed down and I noticed her 3 inch heeled boots!  So instead of speaking further I just hugged her.  It was so nice to see her at last. 

We exchanged phone numbers and Colleen better call me if she needs anything even just to talk.
PS note girls.  Never toss 3 rolls of quarters along with your makeup kit, keys change wallet and id wallet into your purse.  My chair kept falling over every time I stood up.  Pitty the mugger that gets hit with my Purse!

Love and hugs all

Simone.

It is very wonderful to hear about your day Simone V! Thank you always for your generosity in sharing it with us. I love your sense of humor too. I have an off kilter sense of humor and the funniest thing about me is how hard I try to be funny and fail. (Everyone wonders what inspires me to keep trying.) (So forgive me in advance for my lame attempts.)

Hugs.
Patty

Oh wow! Simone,
I so wished I could have been there to see you and Colleen in person.
Sound like all went well.

Three inch heels! Colleen do are you trying to hurt yourself?
Do you know what it would have done to your ankles and back if you fell off them.
Your allot braver than me. Anything over two inches is too high.

Simone you need to get one of those dividers for your purse if your going to put that type of assortment in.
That sure would have made a deadly weapon for any would be assailant.
And Simone maybe you should just put your purse in your lap, no too heavy on the floor.  ;)
Hugs Jillieann

Hi Simone.

I love reading your adventures, your writing style is so nice, I'm always reading it with a big smile on my face because it's so good to read you really enjoing your life now.
I'm also touched the way you take care of your parents, you are such a good woman and good to hear you have met Colleen in person.

I'm desperatly looking forward to your next posts.

love
annette

Quote from: Jillieann on January 13, 2011, 07:50:52 PMThree inch heels! Colleen do are you trying to hurt yourself?
Do you know what it would have done to your ankles and back if you fell off them.
Your allot braver than me. Anything over two inches is too high.

Simone exaggerates.  I'm SURE they're not 3".  Maybe 2.5.  At any rate, I am a tall girl.  Almost six feet tall in bare feet (well, okay, with nylons on...)

Well, girls, my wife and I had a talk tonight, and we both now realize our marriage has to end.  We've both pretty much known for a while this was coming.  I won't hijack this thread - I'll post a new thread here under "Just for us", and I'll blog about it in my blog.  Just thought you'd like to know.  Sorry for the down post.

Woohoo!

Got it in the mail today my first letter from CAMH, no I have to streamline my life story for them because it's to many pages long and get my information into them. I am also planning on hitting my doctor up for him to fill in the form to get my gender changed on my drivers license. Plus I have the 68 page health care guide from the Sherborne clinic that makes it clear that after blood testing I can proceed with HRT. That I need to show him.  I do not intend to waste anymore of my life as a boy!

Happy happy joy joy, Looks down at self and ask.  Are you still there? Fall off or something will ya!

Love hugs all Simone.

Whoa, this letter makes it possible to change your gender marker already ? FAST. Congratulations ! I need SRS (and implicitly 1 year RLE) here for that.

no not so lucky as that.  But this means that CAMH has excepted my doctors referal and that they will be seeing me in the hopefully not to distant future.

:)

Simone,
Nope it won't fall off.
Been waiting for mine to for a few years now.  :'(
Oh well just don't look that far down sis.  ;)

QuoteWoohoo!
Got it in the mail today my first letter from CAMH, no I have to streamline my life story for them because it's to many pages long and get my information into them. I am also planning on hitting my doctor up for him to fill in the form to get my gender changed on my drivers license. Plus I have the 68 page health care guide from the Sherborne clinic that makes it clear that after blood testing I can proceed with HRT. That I need to show him.  I do not intend to waste anymore of my life as a boy!

So happy for you Simone.  :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_clap: :icon_dance: :icon_caffine:
Go girl go.
So are you going out to celebrate sis?
Hugs,
Jillieann

Kay I know I'm getting in on this thread ultra late (11 pages. Wow) but I just had to say how aweome this

Quote from: Simone V on December 07, 2010, 05:54:59 PM
But Mom turned to my father and said.  "See I told you so!"

is (OMG that's a quote from page 1?!?).
Reading your first few posts in this thread gave me this picture in my head of your parents and the situation. Some great story telling from you by the way :)
I just can't believe how great that turned out. When I told my parents it was the most nerve-wracking thing ever. I've had it really lucky as far as acceptance from family but this story is just amazing. My parents didn't know what the heck I was telling them.

Anyways, all the best in your transition. Seems like you're fast-tracking it pretty hard. Those first posts were just a month ago, and now you're already going out and shopping as you please, not to mention talking about SRS at CamH. I wish I had the courage to do what you're doing, but I'm too timid I guess...

I'll have to pay more attention to this thread of yours. Its rather exciting :)

Something I've heard in the past and recently heard again, struck me.  "Life is what you make of it"
What a truly Profound thing for anyone to say.  For normal folks it means job family friends. 

But for us the Transgender people both M2F and F2M's it means so much more. For us the life we have been given by nature, god or what ever defining moment that decided our physical gender. Has left us lost from the moment of our emergence into this world. I do not use the word birth because for myself I look at birth as a joy full  thing. But remembering my life from as early as I can remember. I felt out of place, un natural, out of phase somehow with the world I was living in.  While other boys engaged in base ball and hockey I had my secret interest in dolls and dresses. Many of you have had it just the same. 

So the simple words that most of our parents have uttered to us at times. "Life is what you make it."
Have an entirely different meaning for us. We have to make ourselves. No one else can do it for us!
We have to go step by painful step until we are finally what we are supposed to be.  Our entire life has to be committed to "making life" I understand the pain of it all for everyone of us.

I see stories about families lost friends departed all the ways we pay for making life what we need it to be. So the next time someone fails to show support or understanding remember. Life is what WE make it.  You don't need anyone's approval to be who you are. You don't have to let anyone opinions stop you. Love yourself and others will love you as well.  Those who don't will have never understood who you really are anyway.


Hugs

Simone

Wow! Simone that is great. This could have been a new posting/thread in itself.

QuoteLife is what WE make it.  You don't need anyone's approval to be who you are. You don't have to let anyone opinions stop you. Love yourself and others will love you as well.

No truer words were spoken sis.

I believe we (trans-people) are special because of our physical birth defect. (wrong sexual parts at birth)
The struggles that we have had to face from early days on have scared and hurt us badly.
But because of them we are stronger and better people.
We have more compassion for other that are hurting.
Transgender people know that life is a journey and they strive to better themselves
And life is worth fighting for and so we move ahead through pain and sorry to reach or goals.
Trying to comfort and help other alone the way.
We want to be the best person we can be. The person that is inside of us.
So we wake up each day stronger and better people for facing these struggles, that are not are fault but that help us to grown.

Quote"Life is what you make of it"

Jillieann

I am proud and privileged to know Simone.  I feel truly blessed to have her in my life.  Even more so that we're almost certain to be roommates soon (I'm just finalizing a couple of things, Simone, I will know by end of today).  I can learn so much from her.  She is a very special lady.  I guess that's really all there is to say.

QuoteI am proud and privileged to know Simone.  I feel truly blessed to have her in my life. ...
I can learn so much from her.  She is a very special lady.  I guess that's really all there is to say.

I totally agree Colleen.
Jillieann

hey girls what the french Transgirl sing when she fell into a pond up to her waist?


All-a-wetta! Jonney's all-a-wetta!

:P  I'm having my daily giggle and wanted to share it!

Love you al
Jillieann did you get my number in the -mail I sent you?

hugs Simone!

Simone yor crack me up girl.  :laugh:

Yes I did get your number. Thanks.

Jillieann

Hey Simone!

I know I have come into this story alittle late, but I just wanted to say I have enjoyed reading about your adventures. Your sense of humour is very amusing, and your determination is quite inspiring, I must say.

I am sorry to hear about the prblems with your sister and other family/family friends' reactions, but as Im sure the majority of us on here can say, we can relate to it. It is never easy, but you have to do things for yourself and not let things hold you back anymore(which you arent doing, well done!!!)
Its coming up to 5 years since I "came out" and my family still dont use the right pronouns, but they clearly love me, they are just taking their sweet time coming round. But their progress is evident!

I hope for a smooth transition, you are already showing such courage and it seems as though you are being re-released into life with a new spirit! You seem much more happier compared to your earliest posts.

All the best.

Quote from: Make_It_Good on January 16, 2011, 02:45:23 PM
Hey Simone!

I know I have come into this story alittle late, but I just wanted to say I have enjoyed reading about your adventures. Your sense of humour is very amusing, and your determination is quite inspiring, I must say.

I am sorry to hear about the prblems with your sister and other family/family friends' reactions, but as Im sure the majority of us on here can say, we can relate to it. It is never easy, but you have to do things for yourself and not let things hold you back anymore(which you arent doing, well done!!!)
Its coming up to 5 years since I "came out" and my family still dont use the right pronouns, but they clearly love me, they are just taking their sweet time coming round. But their progress is evident!

I hope for a smooth transition, you are already showing such courage and it seems as though you are being re-released into life with a new spirit! You seem much more happier compared to your earliest posts.

All the best.

Okay be still my heart.
Did anyone just see the hunk that posted in my thread?

Thank you so much for your kind words Make_It_Good

Simone

Oh, I did, I did, I did see the hunk that posted in my thread.
He's so cute.

Down, girls.  Behave yourselves.  For one thing, he's WAY too young (oh, yeah, that's an ASSET...).  Well, if you're gonna be cougars, at least learn to Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwlllllllllllll...  ::)

Today in preparation for Colleen. I cleaned out a room that has been used for storage for 10 years. The balcony is full of things I need to carry out to the dumpster this week. But the room is empty. Wednesday I will Wash the walls and clean out the heat register. Then mask the base boards and around the trim in prep for the paint of Colleens color preference. Tomorrow morning at 9 am I will be having some more dental work done. After that I intend to move my 60 gallon fish tank. A Full day task. So by weeks end Colleen can come in and assess her new environs. 

I am excited and happy to be sharing my place with other Transgirls. It will make life more interesting and fun. 

Next week I face the even more daunting job of cleaning out then painting and fixing up the room I have used as a make due workshop for the last 10 years.  So that another Trans friend can move into it. 
Note to all my friends.  If anymore of you need a place we may have to just rent a second apartment :P


love hugs
Simone.

Your so sweet Simone.
Sound like you were very busy today and will be all week.
What's Colleens favorite room color?
Hey we could start a poll and have Colleen pick the winner.
What do you think?  :) :embarrassed:
Sorry! :embarrassed: :embarrassed:
It just been along Monday. I'm just to keyed up right now.
I'll try to behave myself.  ;)

Hey Colleen, " Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwlllllllllllll... "
I can look, even if I don't touch.  ;)

Ahh... I just looked at the topic heading and we are way off. Anyway I am   :embarrassed:???  ;)

So...  Simone do you know when you will be getting more information or an ok or anything from CAMH ?

Hugs Sis,
Jillieann

Hmmm... color preference...  ???  Dunno.  To be honest, I'd be happy if the room looks not unlike the rest of the place, although I'm assuming a neutral color here.  Not blue, that's fer sure, lol.  Not pink, either, I think.  Maybe a nice shade of green?  Either that or just beige.  I'm not terribly fussy, I'm easy to please.  A room where I can put a bed, a chest of drawers and a small desk and I'll be happy.  Is there carpet?  Or hardwood?  The paint should go with whatever's on the floor, I guess.  To tell the truth, this is all very new to me.  First time in 32 years I've had to make decisions like this, just for myself and no-one else.  I'll be posting an update in my blog a bit later (maybe later-later tonight, depending on when my parents call) about how my day went.  I am indeed truly blessed, even if some of this stuff is kinda painful.

Colleen,
We will be watching for your update.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Just finished making a spot for Colleens toiletries so she has her own cabinet. The room is carpeted but I use a throw rug over top of the old carpet. The land lord never changed the old stuff.  It's clean and warm but not pretty to my mind.  My apartment is a work in progress. I am repainting everything slowly. Making my former bachlore pad into a woman's home. 

So don't get hopes up of anything fantastic yet.  We can make that happen as we go along! Rome was not built in a day!

hugs Simone.

Quote from: Simone V on January 17, 2011, 05:35:17 PM
So don't get hopes up of anything fantastic yet.  We can make that happen as we go along! Rome was not built in a day!

Just a warm, dry place that I can afford is fantastic.  I am SO glad you made that offhand comment about a spare room at the support group meeting.  I am REALLY glad I followed up on it.  We're gonna have a great time, girl.

I can just see it now.
Every weekend a party.
Makeup Parties , Dress- up Parties, PJ Parties and more...
Just don't disturb the landlord.
;)
Jillieann

I wonder if we should take up selling avon as a side line?

I mean you know how woman flock to male hairstylists. Maybe if we learn how we could sell Avon have home parties and do make overs.  Never know we could be a smash!

Quote from: Simone V on January 17, 2011, 06:42:12 PM
I wonder if we should take up selling avon as a side line?

I mean you know how woman flock to male hairstylists. Maybe if we learn how we could sell Avon have home parties and do make overs.  Never know we could be a smash!

Genius! :D Simone and Colleen, glad to hear about the living arrangement.

Home makeover parties.
Now that would be a real hit with this crowd.
Where do I sign-up.
;D

Ummmm, some of the top selling Avon reps are men, have been for a while now. 

Quote from: tekla on January 17, 2011, 09:58:17 PM
Ummmm, some of the top selling Avon reps are men, have been for a while now.

Ummm Thanks tekla I appreciate the information. 
Are we in a bad mood as of late?

I've been in a bad mood since 1971.  It works for me.  It's all about not pretending to be something you're not.  It's also a lot like freedom.  The best most liberating crew I ever worked on began with a talk that went like this: "We don't like each other, we don't like you, and you don't have to like us either."  Years, and years and years of bull->-bleeped-<- and posing were passed over in that one sentence.  Best bunch of people ever.

Quote from: tekla on January 17, 2011, 10:45:00 PM
I've been in a bad mood since 1971.  It works for me.  It's all about not pretending to be something you're not.  It's also a lot like freedom.  The best most liberating crew I ever worked on began with a talk that went like this: "We don't like each other, we don't like you, and you don't have to like us either."  Years, and years and years of bull->-bleeped-<- and posing were passed over in that one sentence.  Best bunch of people ever.

Quote from: Simone V on January 17, 2011, 10:38:02 PM
Ummm Thanks tekla I appreciate the information. 
Are we in a bad mood as of late?

and in another thread.

Quote from: Simone V on January 17, 2011, 10:38:02 PM
She is everything that a girl can be and many things that a lot of GG girls won't ever be.

That's kind of a crippling attitude to have to walk around with.  At its base it means that no matter what, she will never be one of them, and I don't think that's true.

I can't help but feeling you are for some reason singling me out for your Snappish comments Tekla. So in the same positive spirit that I have maintained in this tread and my other posts all over the place in Susan's.
I ask you to please not to vent or direct your commentary towards me.  I'm not a confrontational lady and you won't get any satisfaction from continued attacks.

Love and hugs all
Simone.

I wouldn't worry too much Simone, Tekla is not only an American, she is from California where they are generally even stranger than your average Yank!  ;)

I've got a car!  It's a 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer, 109,000km on it.  $8400.  With taxes, prep, gas, undercoat, Life/Walkaway coverage it comes to just about $10,000.  Over 5 years, $228./month.  One owner, lady driven (little do they know, it still is, lol...).  Nice little car.  I might be able to pick it up on Friday, if not then Monday.  No rust, no dents.  Still got 4yr/60,000km powertrain warranty.  Next stop, Simoneville!

Quote from: tekla on January 17, 2011, 10:45:00 PM
Years, and years and years of bull->-bleeped-<- and posing were passed over in that one sentence.

You know, there are plenty of people who don't need to bull->-bleeped-<- or posture at being nice to one another. It comes naturally to many.
I'm glad you found your own kind though  :)

Colleen,
That's great.
I knew you could do it.
Maybe you will be able to pickup your car on Friday
and go see your new pad with Simone on Saturday.
Wouldn't that be good.
I'm so happy for you sis.
Way to go.
Jillieann

That's great Colleen now life truly begins.  Almost like getting your training bra and first wheels at the same time.  Liberating! 

Can't wait to see you and the new car Saturday!


In my News, I went to a movie with another Transgirl today and her fiancé / Mistress yeh.  Interesting combo but that's not my story to tell. 

Anyway. My Trans-Friend and I are standing in line waiting for her Fiancé to come outside with tickets and a couple. Boy and girl friend probably. Were talking behind us. Seems they were also talking about us but not in a bad way.

Her "What do you think of them, boys or girls."  Him "I'm sure one is a boy not sure about the other." Her "kinky kinda huh?"  Him "yeah a little"   Her "If you could would you invite them over to play?" Him "That a question or a dare?"  My Friend Crissy, after turning around to address them. " We do a two for one deal darlings. But once you go trans the rest is just boring!"
Me "Says nothing turns 3 shades of red tried not to laugh but ends up giggling." About this time Crissy's date came back.  The conversation tamed down a lot but we ended up seeing the same movie as the couple and sitting in the same row. Situation normal.  No trouble, all was good and after the show they even complimented us on our looks.

I also received a gift, a string of real pearls, My dad gave them too me.
So today was a good day. 
Got 2 more teeth fixed. Moved my living room around and my 60 gallon fish tank. "That was a lot of work" will be working on Colleens room some more tomorrow.

Life is what you make it. 
Lets make it great!

Hugs Simone.

Hi Simone,
You got pearls girl.
Oh wow!
I'm jealous. ;)
You dad is so nice. Hope you gave him a big hug.

Sounds like your transfriend has a way with people. ;)
Yeap, I would have turn 3 shades of red too. :laugh:
What movie did you see?
I'm glad you had a good day, all but the teeth thing that is.
Life is way lots better than the other option.
:)
Jillieann

Aww, Simone that's an AWESOME story.  And pearls!  Wow!  I can't wait to meet your parents, but I'll tell you now, I do NOT want them to meet Tim.  He's not worth knowing.  Anyway, I also can't wait to go to a Torchlight meeting with you.  I think I'll attend both that and the Hamilton group for now, and see what's what.  Can't wait to meet your other trans friends, either.

Last night I ordered an excellent book for my parents:  "Transgender Explained, For Those Who Are Not."  by Joanne Herman.  I got a copy and read through it, it is EXCELLENT!

Oh, and Simone, I "may" not have the car till Monday, but if I do, you'll see it.  Otherwise I'll be driving the "beast" (2005 Honda Odyssey)

Oh Colleen keep your hopes up girl. ::)
Don't give up on getting the car Friday, not yet anyway. :) ;D ;)
Hugs
Jillieann

Okay here is a spoiler for you all. So you know what Colleen is getting into. 
My apartment like myself is in transition.  From Male 2 female.  The collection of swords will come down as the place is repainted and I find my female taste and style. Some of that is already happening.   But this is the result of a days hard work changing things around and feminizing the living room and dinning room.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTTejA_Tu6pI%2FAAAAAAAAABE%2FwNX6naLqNMM%2Fs640%2FDSCI0148.JPG&hash=509e732189dca80ba7a0081d95b015abb019d38b)
Dinning room.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTTejBQU8X4I%2FAAAAAAAAABI%2FMUtIBmpawnE%2Fs640%2FDSCI0149.JPG&hash=31b68e26bdae86a17c8abb91a627c9f9f0c59658)
From the door.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTTejB54JgOI%2FAAAAAAAAABM%2FTWUgXz5v8Ns%2Fs640%2FDSCI0150.JPG&hash=3260c71fdb8ce68fbf364adfc2643245a1ce4436)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh6.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTTejCZ81gmI%2FAAAAAAAAABQ%2FitO-wDtKd6Y%2Fs640%2FDSCI0151.JPG&hash=4bbbabff490fc3f271141cf863eda7cf92ab16fd)

They say men have less clutter well it isn't true.  Between the room I have emptied for Colleen and the re doing my living room and dinning room. Half a dumpster got filled with man junk.

Well Colleen welcome home. 


Hugs all
Simone

OMG, Simone, it's wonderful!  THANK you for those pictures!  It really helps.  Makes it less scary for me.  You are so thoughtful.  I am looking forward to rooming with you. 

(and BTW, I think we can do a "little" better for a TV.  I'll bring something...)

Super and we can get a wee and do dance for fitness!

Drop me a phone call will you Colleen!

Oh in the way of an interesting story.

I went to a movie "The year of the witch" with another trans girl and her friend. It's an interesting move but of course it has it's scary parts and I a "Gasp and jump girl" so when the bridge collapses and  they all almost fall to they're deaths, when the pack of wolfs turns into demon dogs and attacks them etc I gasp and jump a little. 
After the movie in tim hortons for a coffee. Two milk two sweetner. My friend says to me.  Wow I thought you were going to scream a few times in there. 
I could feel my face turn red and had nothing to reply with to that or how to justify it.  So after a moments pause I said.
No I only scream when I orgasm dear.
There was laughter.

hugs all
Simone.

Quote from: Simone V on January 19, 2011, 09:36:02 PMDrop me a phone call will you Colleen!

I'll call ya tomorrow.  Let me know if there's any time you won't be in.

Well as many of you have read these last few days have been a massive clean up at my place. While going through boxes of pictures I came across a picture of me around age 14.  Probably about the time my parents caught me cross dressing and the beginning of my repressing who I really was.  Yes you will note I was wearing my sisters jeans and a blouse.  yeah those are small breasts that I told you I had developed.

Funny thing is my mom remembers seeing the picture when it was developed she says she remembers thinking how much I looked like a girl back then.  Gee thanks mom.  To bad you didn't say it was okay way back then! I'd never have grown facial hair and be just fine now. Oh well here's the picture.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTTjKnieC52I%2FAAAAAAAAABw%2F5i9Wk7ya1-w%2Fs640%2FGlenn%2520young.jpg&hash=36a74b6cca227b8a5d8290085ecb62b66070e769)

love and hugs
Simone.

Quote from: Simone V on January 20, 2011, 06:01:01 PMTo bad you didn't say it was okay way back then! I'd never have grown facial hair and be just fine now. Oh well here's the picture.

Great picture... OMG you were cute!  Definitely a girl.  And, if you'd transitioned way back then, you probably wouldn't have met me.  My loss.

Sigh, some things are better not thought about.

Your right A. The past is gone.
So what if doesn't do any good.
We need to look to the present and future.
But you were cute Simone.
And Colleens right you won't have met her, me or many of the other people here at Susan's  :'(
And you won't be the wonderful person you are now that has made a differents in our lives.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Hi Simone

You were so cute on this picture.
But, the past has made us what we are today, and today you're such a nice and encouring woman (maybe because of the past)
When we are looking to old pictures, we think....if...as...maybe....., but remember, every minute you grieve of the past, will be deducted of your future.
So, enjoy what you are today, a lady with a great character, with a lot of friends.

lots of love
annette

I agree with all of you and understand what you are saying. 

Still  :icon_anger: I wish I could go back in time, stand there and says Mom Dad I wanna be a girl and have them actually listen at that age.

Life is short and what we make of it, so I'm making me now.  When I'm done working on it I'm going to be the sexist old lady in the trailer park :P  ;D

Hugs Everyone
Simone.

Simone,

Thanks for posting all of the pictures. Wow you do look so cute in that picture.

The past is a foundation for the our future. It doesn't hurt to inspect the foundation every once in awhile. (Roxy's line :) )

It is really nice that you and Colleen will enjoy each other's friendship now. We look forward to hearing about your antics and episodes. :)

Many Hugs.
Patty & Roxy

QuoteWhen I'm done working on it I'm going to be the sexist old lady in the trailer park

Will see what Colleen has to say about that Simone.  >:-)
Hugs,
Jillieann

Well, I think I'm sexier, and I'm definitely older, so...  :angel:

I got home fine, sis (she worries about me...)

QuoteI got home fine, sis (she worries about me...)

That's good.
Our the roads are bad over here too.
Snowing and slipper around here and cold.
Was out with my wife an hour ago doing the normal grocery shopping run.
So girls, which of the 2 of you are sexier? >:-) :o :D

Sorry don't answer that. I'm in one of those moods.

Glad all is working out far as the room for Colleen.
I'm sure it is a big burden off her back.

Hugs,
Jillieann

okay okay okay.  Well for the question of.

Quote from: Jillieann on January 22, 2011, 04:33:13 PM
So girls, which of the 2 of you are sexier? >:-) :o :D
Jillieann

Well we were both in man mode today Colleen had just had her Lazer treatments the other day so she had to let her beard grow for a few days to give her skin a rest.  So since she felt uncomfortable with it. I let my beard grow a day as well. So she wouldn't feel so bad.

As for the sexiest.  Well I dun live in a trailer park yet.  But as it goes.  Think Lavern and Shirley. Shirley older and fatter and Lavern older taller and more filled out.

Then decide for yourself!

Hugs all
Simone.

I think you make a great pair Simone and Colleen.
Loved Lavern and Shirley they were both are ... aw...  they were cute. ;D
Sis I do know
both of you are very beautiful people.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Aw, thanks, sis.  Can't wait to come down and meet you!

Quote from: Simone V on January 16, 2011, 10:42:00 PM
Okay be still my heart.
Did anyone just see the hunk that posted in my thread?

Thank you so much for your kind words Make_It_Good

Simone

Quote from: Jillieann on January 17, 2011, 05:13:27 AM
Oh, I did, I did, I did see the hunk that posted in my thread.
He's so cute.

Hahaha, thanks, that was very unexpected but I consider it a great compliment coming from you ladies :p

Simone, you look like a completely bio, happy young girl in that picture. I agree with what the other women have said about that picture before me, but thought Id give my input anyway!

Im happy to read about the positive progress in your storie Simone.
(P.s I know someone callled Simone, who married a guy with the surname Simone. Shes now Simone Simone!)


Kyle

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LOOK HE CAME BACK!


Thanks Dear, You are such a Cutie.

Well This weekend has been productive.  Colleen came on Saturday, She got the tour of the Apartment and then the tour of town. We stopped in at A&W and got two momma burgers for 4 dollars. Then headed home where we split a diet Pepsi and each had a momma burger. She measured out her room and will be moving in next weekend.  Today I spend the day cleaning out the second room that will be renting to Dee another Trans-woman.
I made 12 trips to value village to drop off 10 years of man gear today.  Threw away a load of stuff on top of that. The room that was the former Workshop/Storage room is ready to have it's walls washed. and prepped for new paint. So first thing in the morning I am washing walls. Then it's off to Value village to drop off my last load of man junk.

At around 1-130 Pm Dee will be coming over to see the place.  Somewhere around 2:30 -3:00 I have to drive to Guelph to pick up another Trans-woman friend for a shopping trip. Plus I promised to cook her a home made meal. Since she doesn't often get good home cooking.

Tuesday I go to buy paint. I paint the two rooms.

After that I can work on getting my volunteer work set up and my CAMH papers in. Saturday we move Colleen into the apartment.

Sunday I collapse in a heap on the couch. Colleen makes PBJ  sandwiches for dinner and I fail to move until I recover from the last two weeks of madness :)

Hugs all love ya!
Simone.

Love the itinerary. Have a nice nap in the end.

Quote from: Simone V on January 23, 2011, 10:28:59 PMSunday I collapse in a heap on the couch. Colleen makes PBJ  sandwiches for dinner and I fail to move until I recover from the last two weeks of madness :)

Now, don't get me wrong, I practically LIVE on peanut butter, but...  Don't worry hun, we can do a LITTLE better than PB&J for supper.  I'll plan something nice.  But yes, you will indeed deserve a nice nap, and I hereby release you from any need for human interaction until at least the following Monday when you have recovered properly...  :)

QuoteDon't worry hun, we can do a LITTLE better than PB&J for supper.

Hey! Colleen there is nothing better than Peanut Butter so don't you go say such a thing. >:(
PB&J with milk and cookies is the best. ;)

Simone sounds like your having a very busy month.
What color are you painting the rooms and is one of them Colleens?
I like pastel colors myself, soft and light.

QuoteI'll plan something nice.  But yes, you will indeed deserve a nice nap, and I hereby release you from any need for human interaction until at least the following Monday when you have recovered properly...

Yes, I think Colleen should make you a nice meal even if it is'nt  :( PB&J.  ;D
And you can enjoy watching a movie on Colleen's big TV with here DVD player while she is making it.
Tell her I said it was okay.  :D ;)

Hey are you getting another roomy?  :o  So how many rooms do you have Miss landlord Landlady.
You did promise me a place to stay if things get bad here.  Huh!

QuoteLOOK HE CAME BACK!

:o
I see, I see and Kyle still looks sooooo cute.

Have fun and don't work too hard Simone.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on January 24, 2011, 05:14:31 PMSimone sounds like your having a very busy month.
What color are you painting the rooms and is one of them Colleens?
I like pastel colors myself, soft and light.

Yes, she's painting my room and the other tennants' room.  S/he'll be joining us in March.  I say "s/he" because from what Simone says, it sounds like they sometimes present as male, sometimes as female, and the name and pronouns go with the presentation.  Myself, I like Colleen all the time, whether I'm in boy mode or girl mode.  It's who I am.  And for colors, it'll be a nice eggshell off-white, at least in my room.  She'll (we'll) eventually get the living/dining room/hallway painted also, and that will be (if I remember correctly) more of a cream color.  There are two bedrooms besides Simone's and they're both taken Jillieann, but you could bunk on the LR floor if you come this way...

Hello Ladies.

I took a night out for a me break, did some shopping. Picked up my first set of girl jeans! yay!!! Shoes yes they are heels yes they are almost 3 inches yes I had to have them.  Yes I'll probably break my bones learning to use them. But okay!  Sexy as they are that's fine!
Picked out a dress it's a nice black one. Got a girdle yay, it keeps things snug. EARS PIERCED!

Was going for a bra when a friend called to ask a favor.  Her jack rusel tarrier was dieing and she was trying to get a vet. Plus her brother was stranded on Cambridge.  So I agreed to go get her brother so she could get a vet.
He was okay. Sadly the doggy passed away.  He was cute.
spent the rest of the night on consolation and comforting duties.


But it was still a great day.

hugs all
Simone.

It sounds like you had a fun one. Sorry all good days must come to an end. Hopefully today is just as good. :)

Hugs.
Roxy & Patty

OMG you got your EARS PIERCED?!?!?  I am SO jealous!  Now at least I know what to do if I want to get you a gift.  I don't DARE pierce my ears until I'm on vacation and coming back to work as Colleen (which will happen in the next few months, I think), because there are folks who would suspect what the deal is.  Plus, getting both ears pierced is something guys in their 20's do, not those of us at mid-life...  ::)

And be CAREFUL on those heels.  Practice.  Don't try stairs yet - that's a potential neck-breaker.  We'll have fun this weekend, I want to get some nail polish and do my toenails.  And bring your mother to Talize so I can get a few things...

R.I.P Little Jack Russell. (Dogs are amazing).

Congrats on the girl jeans!

Yep they give you love with out question. Even if you forget them in the yard over night.

Sound like you had a busy evening Simone,
3" heels! ::) Oh my! You got to be crazy girl.
Your going to break or damage something with them heels.
Please be careful sis.
Love girl jeans they fit so much better than guys.
Girdle oh yuck! They do help the shape if you can stand them.
And you got your ears pierced oh wow! I'm jealous.
Now you can buy the cute earring that only come as pierced.
Sorry to hear about the dog. That a real downer.  :(
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on January 25, 2011, 06:27:02 PM
Sound like you had a busy evening Simone,
3" heels! ::) Oh my! You got to be crazy girl.
Your going to break or damage something with them heels.
Please be careful sis.
Love girl jeans they fit so much better than guys.
Girdle oh yuck! They do help the shape if you can stand them.
And you got your ears pierced oh wow! I'm jealous.
Now you can buy the cute earring that only come as pierced.
Sorry to hear about the dog. That a real downer.  :(
Hugs,
Jillieann

Well. I am practicing with the heels in my apartment.

"Walk heel toe, keep toes in. No more male Charlie Chaplin walking. " 

As for room. Well we have space on the couch left but hey if you really need it. Come on down :P
As for other visits yes come visit stay a weekend or a week specially in summer. Fun fun yay!  We'd be only too happy to have you over.

Hugs Simone

Oh, can I come visit you all too? Seriously; I'm in the GTA, and have access to a car once in a while. :) I'll even cook you all a delicious meal if that's necessary.

QuoteNo more male Charlie Chaplin walking.

Not with those heels anyway sis.
I really don't want you to hurt yourself so please go slow until you get the hang of it.
Ok?
Thank you for the room offer. I was just kidding.
At this point I am not in any immediate need of a room.
But a summer visit might be nice.
Would love to hang out with you and Colleen.
So did you do some painting today?
Hope your not pushing yourself to hard sis.
Hows your folks doing?
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: In Limbo... on January 25, 2011, 07:39:15 PM
Oh, can I come visit you all too? Seriously; I'm in the GTA, and have access to a car once in a while. :) I'll even cook you all a delicious meal if that's necessary.

I am a believer in a family and open door policy when it comes to other Trans people So guests and visitors are always welcome.  Cooking is bonus! 

Quote from: Jillieann on January 25, 2011, 07:41:47 PM
Not with those heels anyway sis.
I really don't want you to hurt yourself so please go slow until you get the hang of it.
Ok?
Thank you for the room offer. I was just kidding.
At this point I am not in any immediate need of a room.
But a summer visit might be nice.
Would love to hang out with you and Colleen.
So did you do some painting today?
Hope your not pushing yourself to hard sis.
Hows your folks doing?
Hugs,
Jillieann

Yes Mom I'll be careful and I will hold you to coming up for a weekend.  We'll have such fun.
I paint tomorrow. The paint I got for Colleens room is a slightly darker Egg shell called Chablis. Named after the Wine. It will go nicely with the border around the sealing. I had to wait a day for them to get it in since they didn't have the base paint but I have it now. I got two extra keys cut today and all is going just fine. 

Hugs Simone.

QuoteYes Mom I'll be careful and I will hold you to coming up for a weekend.  We'll have such fun.

Hey! I'm not that much older than you. Oh wait!  I am 17 years older. :o OMG. ^{She changes subject quickly}

Visiting you for a weekend in the summer is a deal Sis.
It will be lots of fun.

QuoteColleens room is a slightly darker Egg shell called Chablis.

Thats a good color and it will go with almost any colors in a room.
And a color like that will make a small room seem bigger.
Chalk up another talent for Simone "Interior Decorator".
You are a Jack Jill of all trades. That's great.

Oh , Simone I so hope you feel good about yourself and that you feel you are moving forward.
From my prospective you are moving very fast.
And all I can do is applaud you sis.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on January 26, 2011, 08:38:46 PMFrom my prospective you are moving very fast.

Yes, I've been working at this journey for about 7 months now, and she's only been at it for, what, 3 months?  And I'm working hard to catch up to her!  ::)

Colleen there is on thing I now know about Simone.
When she puts her mind to a task you better be able to run with her or she will leave you in the dust. :laugh:
What take most people years will take her months or even days.
All I can say is look out world her comes a sweet woman called Simone.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Simone's moving faster than iPhones on launch day.

Well the day that Colleen moved in has come and gone. She is no in the ladies room saving her delicate's . Get your mind out of that mode ladies!  Her delicate legs and soft skin. 
Our first night together I cooked since I was cooking for my parents anyway. We had chicken coose coos and peas&carrots. With a bowel of strawberries for desert.

Colleen gets to spend her time at home dressed now which I think she is enjoying most fully. We will soon be heading to lense crafter's to get her some new bifocals. Then off to a mall and I hope Penningtons.

Will keep you updated and post pictures of us later.

Hugs all !
Simone.

Quote from: Simone V on January 30, 2011, 08:46:59 AM
Well the day that Colleen moved in has come and gone. She is no in the ladies room saving her delicate's . Get your mind out of that mode ladies!  Her delicate legs and soft skin. 
Our first night together I cooked since I was cooking for my parents anyway. We had chicken coose coos and peas&carrots. With a bowel of strawberries for desert.

Colleen gets to spend her time at home dressed now which I think she is enjoying most fully. We will soon be heading to lense crafter's to get her some new bifocals. Then off to a mall and I hope Penningtons.

Will keep you updated and post pictures of us later.

Hugs all !
Simone.

Thats so great you are not alone and have a roommate.. :)

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on January 30, 2011, 11:04:58 AM
Thats so great you are not alone and have a roommate.. :)

The same, for both of you.

You're both good people, headed the same direction.

Just really pleased for you both.

Quote from: spacial on January 30, 2011, 11:27:08 AM
The same, for both of you.

You're both good people, headed the same direction.

Just really pleased for you both.

is that sarcasm on my screen name because i live alone but yea i take care of a 88 yr old mom who barely says a word so i am basically all alone.

Oh you were probably agreeing with my statement but it didn't read that way.  ???

WooHoo!!  JUST got connected to the Internet in my new home, and the FIRST thing I wanted to do is come here and tell everyone what a wonderful experience it's been moving in here with Simone.  She has done everything humanly possible to make me feel at home, and help me settle in.  It was a very emotional day for me, because I was moving out of the home I've shared with my wife, and leaving my marriage of almost 32 years.  Lots of tears.  And it COULD have been a day when I felt a lot of uncertainty and fear, but because of Simone and her parents, I felt loved and wanted.  Her parents have pretty much adopted me, and her mother is over here often, and she's very cute - we get along really well.  I'm finally starting to get things organized, and getting on the Internet was a very big part of that.  She's been great, and I'm sure we're going to have a lot of fun.

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on January 30, 2011, 03:01:13 PM
WooHoo!!  JUST got connected to the Internet in my new home, and the FIRST thing I wanted to do is come here and tell everyone what a wonderful experience it's been moving in here with Simone.  She has done everything humanly possible to make me feel at home, and help me settle in.  It was a very emotional day for me, because I was moving out of the home I've shared with my wife, and leaving my marriage of almost 32 years.  Lots of tears.  And it COULD have been a day when I felt a lot of uncertainty and fear, but because of Simone and her parents, I felt loved and wanted.  Her parents have pretty much adopted me, and her mother is over here often, and she's very cute - we get along really well.  I'm finally starting to get things organized, and getting on the Internet was a very big part of that.  She's been great, and I'm sure we're going to have a lot of fun.

AHHHHHH SO SWEET   :)

Simone & Colleen sound like you two roomys are getting along well.
That is so good. I am so glad that it is working. And I am so proud of Sis for your willness to take Colleen in.

QuoteIt was a very emotional day for me, because I was moving out of the home I've shared with my wife, and leaving my marriage of almost 32 years.  Lots of tears.  And it COULD have been a day when I felt a lot of uncertainty and fear, but because of Simone and her parents, I felt loved and wanted. 

I'm so happy Colleen that even with the hurt and tears of leaving a life behind you you felt welcomed and loved byt Simone and her family.
Oh and it's so good to have you back online too sis.

Hugs for both of you,
Jillieann

Oh Jillieann things are moving along so well.  But two days of shopping has left us depleted of cash.  Now it's time to get back to work for Colleen I suppose and for me to get back on track with my camh papers.

Well bed time again.  Colleen will be fast asleep already.
Once again I'm the night owl. Hoot hoot!


Hugs all
Simone

Good night and sleep well Simone.
I'm and early bird too but had be check up on all my friends at Susan's sbefore bed.
Hugs,
Jillieann

I thought I might give you all an update on my transition to date.

I started out at near 400LBs and am now 350LBS ish. recently I bought a size x5 girdle in two weeks I had to replace it with a size x4. We are doing well. I have cut salt from my diet and no longer suffer from water retention.

Here is my current picture

After
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh3.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTUeMeu8hDII%2FAAAAAAAAADE%2FORPPAWjM63M%2Fs512%2FMarie%2520Simone.jpg&hash=5a2a15da59bc71ef619d9e80361800bcbda8da13)

Before
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F_LAea2X7GmGI%2FTUeOPrubsEI%2FAAAAAAAAADY%2F2UoUJxaSIsg%2Fs512%2FNew%2520Simone1.jpg&hash=133988cd1cd8495c6888c6c3b9c6690c7523a799)


So I see a month or two of work on my self paying off and am encouraged to continue. Think how wonderful the changes will be with HRT

Hugs all
Simone.

We went out to supper tonight... Suisse Chalet, Simone's treat.  Next month it's my turn to treat.  We both passed pretty well, not too many strange looks.  We went to a friend's place afterward, and there was a GG friend there, and we figured she knew all about us, because of the friend.  After we outed ourselves by talking trans stuff, and the friend left, our friend said "Oh, by the way, she didn't know you were trans until you said so..."  Uh... oops...  But it was a good evening.  Hope we don't get the snow tomorrow that's predicted...

Its great to hear how great things are going for you both Colleen and Simone!
And ofcourse about all the positive passing :) (Even if you do out yourselves :p haha)

And Simone, congrats on the weight loss, youre looking pretty snazzy in your dress.

Quote from: Make_It_Good on February 01, 2011, 01:56:51 PM
And Simone, congrats on the weight loss, youre looking pretty snazzy in your dress.

Has anyone ever told you that flattery will get you everywhere?

Thank you dear I appreciate the flowers and compliments.

Yes we outted our selves but next time we won't!
hugs
Simone

-wolf whistle- You look great, Simone! Congrats on all the weight loss, 50lbs is a big milestone!

I've been keeping up with this thread for a while now, and I just wanted to say you are a huge inspiration to both me and my girlfriend, Elaine. She's just starting out her transition, and reading about success stories like you has been the driving force for her to get the ball rolling. Thank you so much for posting your story, I look forward to updates from you every day <3

Simone & Colleen: I am so happy that things are working out for you both! It's great that you are able to support each other through your transitions! Having a roommate can be a blast. :)

Simone: Girl, you are looking fabulous! Congrats on the weightloss! As Morgan said, 50lbs is a big milestone! I am so happy for you, and I wish you continued luck and encouragement with the changes you have made in your diet, and the progress you are making in your transition overall!

Many hugs to you both!
Jacquelyn

The storm is here girls. Look out it is heading your way.
So far we haven't got much snow out of it but they keep saying we will.

You are looking good girl and cogratulations on the weight lose Simone.
What is on your nose? Can't tell in the photo.

Colleen I know you both pass. But it's great to realize it yourself.
Sound like your both having a fun time.

Girls, just because you pass is no reason to out yourselves.
The idea is for no one to know, get it.
:laugh:

Hugs,
Jillieann

Congrats, Colleen. I know that so much has seemingly happened so fast, but you are handling it very well. You're very lucky to have a friend like Simone.

Simone, you should be proud of yourself not only on your weight loss, but also being there to support your friend and ours ,Colleen. Get and stay healthy. Be the best woman that you can be!

Hang in there Colleen. I know that you may have some sad days, but they will quickly be replaced by many more days of pure happiness!

Thanks, girls.  I had a beastly drive home this evening - I was able to sail along at 118 k/hr most of the way, but when I was only about 10 minutes from home, the traffic slowed to a crawl that added an additional half hour to the drive.  Not weather related, just a slowdown.  Anyway, when I arrived home, 30 minutes late, Simone had a nice hot plate ready with turkey, creamed corn and potatoes.  Very nice!  Later she made plantain fries, which were very good.  I got out my guitar and we had a bit of a music night.  Tomorrow I will be working from home if I can get my laptop to connect to the company network, which I tried tonight but was unsuccessful.  Of course, given the size of the storm, they may close the office anyway.  At any rate, I won't be going anywhere tomorrow - we'll just have a nice time at home.

You should know that emotionally I'm pretty much okay.  Being able to be Me almost fulltime (other than at work) really helps.

First I want to thank all of you for the words of encouragement and support for Colleen and myself.
We are doing very well and it is in no small measure due to the support of friends, that keep us heading in the right direction.

Well in more news we will be having a house guest this weekend coming, {In Limbo...} will be coming from Toronto to visit us over night. We have a big comfortable couch ready for her. Should be fun. Well it's very early in the morning and Coffee is now ready so I am off to get some of the nectar of alertness. Before I drift off sideways in my chair and begin to snore.

Hugs all.

Simone.

Simone and Colleen,
I had to stay home today work was closed because of bad weather.
So this afternoon I dug us out of about 6.5" to 7" of snow.
But in the next 2 hours we had 2" more on the ground.
Hope your not get that stuff girls.
Simone I forgot to stay congradulations on the weight lose, way to go girl.
Hugs
Jillieann.

Yay, I finally got my room "sort of" in order!  I can see the floor now.  I no longer have to fear stepping on something fragile and important.  I know where my dirty laundry is.  All of it.  WOOOT!!!  I even hung a couple of pictures.  NOW I feel more at home.  Looking forward to the weekend.  Hope I can get MY computer working soon - I have to use Simone's computer at the moment.   :(

Hi Colleen,
That was quick. Hopefully It is starting to feel like home.
So are you having probelms with a router or what?
There are a few of us techs here and we might be able to help if you ask hon.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Colleen and Simone V thank you for all of the updates and keeping us posted on all of your adventures.
Simone congrats on the weight loss. I too am working on it recently. Roxy is such a good cook and makes all sorts of yummy things it is hard though. She is helping me  right now. A low carb diet.

Wishing you both the best.


Hugs.
Patty

Quote from: Mrs Erocse on February 03, 2011, 12:02:32 PM
Colleen and Simone V thank you for all of the updates and keeping us posted on all of your adventures.
Simone congrats on the weight loss. I too am working on it recently. Roxy is such a good cook and makes all sorts of yummy things it is hard though. She is helping me  right now. A low carb diet.

Wishing you both the best.


Hugs.
Patty

I don't know where the two of you live but I wish we could all meet up.  We love your posts Patty

Yay!!!  I finally got my computer connected.  I'm online!  The connection isn't quite stable yet, but at least I can get connectivity.  One of these days I'll get it rock-solid.  Meantime, I'm finally getting settled in.  Hooray!

That's great Colleen.
Welcome back.
Hugs,
Jillieann

All I have to say for now, is that Simone and Colleen are the most amazing people ever, and I'm so glad that I decided to meet them. I've also been appreciating their sense of humour, which has left me with a permanent grin on my face, and some soreness in my jaw.

Colleen,

     I must repeat what has already been said "That's awesome and great!" I am so happy for your success already in your new start and Hooray for great friends like Simone! Thanks for keeping us posted.

Jennifer

Thank you, Jennifer, and Samantha, you are too generous.  But please let's not forget that this thread was started by Simone, and SHE is the truly amazing one here.  SHE saved MY bacon by giving me an affordable place to live, and she is a true friend.  And I caused her pain this weekend, and even though it was unintentional, that doesn't lessen the pain.  She has already forgiven me, and for that I am truly grateful.  If you hand me a compliment, please make sure she gets one as well, because SHE is really the driving force here.  I'm very lucky to know her.

I so agree Colleen.
Simone is a kind, gentle, caring women that I so adore.
She is a true sister of anyone in need.
Hugs Simone,
Jillieann

Quote from: Simone V on February 03, 2011, 05:55:03 PM
I don't know where the two of you live but I wish we could all meet up.  We love your posts Patty

Simone,
Thank you. We are on the west Coast. Oregon & CA  sometimes WA. Depends where family and work takes us. There definitely should be a Susan's union someday We would love to meet so many of you all.
Hugs.
Patty & Roxy

Simone,
Sis are you still out there. We have hear nothing form you in nearly a week.
Is Colleen working you too hard? Are you ill?
I guess I'm just missing you.
Take care sis.
Hugs,
Jilllieann

It's okay, dear, we're just very busy.  This week alone we've had supper guests on Sunday night, support group Monday night, Simone painted D's room Tuesday and then went out that evening (I stayed home), last night we had another support group meeting (different group)...  it's BUSY around here, hon!  I'm sure things will settle down soon, and Simone will be back posting here (and me, too).  Meanwhile, check out my new ticker...

Colleen,
So good to hear from you. :)
I thought you and Simone were in big trouble or sick or had drop off the earth.
Busy is good usually.

Oh WOW!!!  :o :o :o
Way to Go Girl!!! :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap:
Your going full time in 2 months 2 weeks and 1 day.
I'm so happy for you Colleen.
I know you can do it hon. :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:
Yah!
Thank you for the good news it's made my day.
Hugs,  (https://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/icon_hug.gif)(https://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/icon_hug.gif)(https://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/icon_hug.gif)
Jillieann

Thank you, Jillieann.  I will of course blog about it when I get a moment to come up for air, lol...  ::)

Here I is!!!!

Apologies everyone for my long absence, I have been so busy.

Anyway shall we come up to date. 

My game plan, I am about to submit a change of name form to request my official name change to Marie Simone along with my Gender Marker change for my Drivers license and social insurance number. That is in the plan for next week. 

Other then that I am actively searching for volunteer work that will allow me to present as female.
I'm already full time but I need to do some kind of out of the home work that recognizes me as female for CAMH to except me being full time out.

I will be starting Lazer hair removal for my face soon as well. I will be going to the same place Colleen goes as it is reasonably priced.

My thingy still hasn't fallen off but I wish it would every night before bed.  IE" Dear god, please let me wake up with an innie instead of an outtie in the morning"

Anyway I will post again tomorrow. 
Hope everyone is doing well

hugs
Simone.

Quote from: Simone V on February 11, 2011, 11:22:26 PMMy game plan, I am about to submit a change of name form to request my official name change to Marie Simone along with my Gender Marker change for my Drivers license and social insurance number. That is in the plan for next week.

Actually, hun, the only thing you can change your gender marker on without surgery is the driver's license.  Everything else (SIN included) needs permanent surgery to change the gender marker.  However, some docs will recognize FFS or similar as gender surgery, and will sign the paper allowing the gender change.  Still, it's a bit more complicated than we wish it was...

I got up early this morning to do the dishes from last night.  It had been my turn, but we went out shopping, and then to see a friend, then when we got home we looked over each person's purchases (Ooohs, and Ahhhs), and I modeled my two new dresses, and we did our nails.  It was only on the way to bed I remembered the dishes!  I don't think I'll do THAT again, lol!   ::)

BUT!  Last night I bought my FIRST two dresses!  A nice dark-blue floral print, zips up the back, mid-calf and somewhat frilly thing, AND.... (Dat-dat-da-dah...) a classic LBD!  It only "just" works, and it's somewhat difficult to get into (it's over-the-head), and RATHER difficult to get OUT of, lol, but... Little black dress... little black dress... (singing)...   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on February 12, 2011, 08:15:18 AM
BUT!  Last night I bought my FIRST two dresses!  A nice dark-blue floral print, zips up the back, mid-calf and somewhat frilly thing, AND.... (Dat-dat-da-dah...) a classic LBD!  It only "just" works, and it's somewhat difficult to get into (it's over-the-head), and RATHER difficult to get OUT of, lol, but... Little black dress... little black dress... (singing)...   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I've created a MONSTER run away!

Hugs
Simone

Hehe!   >:-) Boo!  (we're in two different rooms right now, posting to this thread...)

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on February 12, 2011, 09:22:46 AM
Hehe!   >:-) Boo!  (we're in two different rooms right now, posting to this thread...)

Nuffs enough! I wants the last word for a change!!!!

lol

Hugs
Simone.

No!  ;D (can you tell we're a little silly on Saturday morning?  Must be something in the coffee...  :laugh:

Goodness, you two are adorable  :D

Hey girls did you see there is another cute guy hanging around.

And Colleen you be nice to Marie? Marie Simone? Or just Simone?
Isn't this her forum posting?
You can have the last word on yours. ;)
Or am I confused about who's this is?

Should we start calling you Marie? Marie Simone? Or just Simone?
No mater how good of a girl you are and how hard you wish your outties won't fall off.
I know I have tried for years. It just doesn't work. Darn.  :'(

Sounds like both of you are having way to much fun buying out the stores in the area.
Colleen it sounds like your LBD has made you happy. So when are you going to wear it out?
Do you have a nice clutch and jewelry and shoes to go with it? >:-) Maybe more shopping.  >:-) ;D

Marie? Marie Simone? Or Simone???
Sound like you have been real busy.
Glad you are back sis. You have been missed.
Oh wow your full time. Way to go girl.
So there Colleen.

Love you Both.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Hi Simone and Colleen

Sorry for not replying much the last time.
I was very busy doing the paperwork and finding a lawyer for the divorce and I was a little sad about it.

But, I read all your adventures and it seems to me that the two of you can get along together very well.
I'm very glad to read that things are going smooth with you.
Colleen have find here place and looks very happy to me.
And  Simone, I think the name Marie Simone sounds very feminine.....beautifull.

I'm not suprised that the two of you have a great time together, two kind, friendly ladies.
It looks a lot of fun to me and you'll have a lot of support from eachother.
Simone, good you think about that a few month's ago? great isn't it?

Stay healthy and happy girls, I will follow you on my computerscreen, with a big smile on my face.

love
annette

@Jillieann:  Yes, this is Simone's thread, but I like to tease her.  It's okay, she's fine with it.  About the LBD... NO, of course I don't have anything to accessorize with it, thanks for pointing that out...  :(  But of course that just means more SHOPPING...  ;D  And no, I don't have anyplace to wear it, and probably won't for a long time, but... (I'm sure ALL you girls understand) when I saw it on me, I just HAD to have it!  I'll have to post a picture, it really looks FABULOUS!  And best of all, only $15!  Yes, you read that right.  Of course the dry cleaning bill will be more than that, lol...  And shoes...

@Annette:  Girl!  So glad to see you post again.  I was wondering where you were.  Sorry to hear the reason for your absence, it makes me sad.  Especially since I AM heading down the same path.  But for now, my wife and I are content to be separated, because as long as we aren't officially divorced, she still has coverage under my company health plan.  Really, there isn't much reason to formalize things once-and-for-all until one or the other of us wants to get remarried.  At least that's how things look so far.  And yes, there is much happiness for me, but also some sadness.  I spoke with my wife yesterday, to tell her about my plans for going full-time, and there was some sadness in that conversation for me.  Simone was there to comfort me when I cried afterward.  It was a rather difficult day for me.  I also spoke to my parents in the evening, to tell them of my plans, and I found they are much more accepting than I would have thought.  My mother said, "We love you COMPLETELY."  Wow.  I will be going to visit them in April, just before I go full-time.

Colleen, of course I know you were just being a tease.
And me, I had to get into the act too, sis.
Oh yes I know that LBD just called out to you and at that price Wow.

QuoteNO, of course I don't have anything to accessories with it, thanks for pointing that out...    But of course that just means more SHOPPING...   

No problem hon,  and anyway isn't that one of my jobs as a sister?

Colleen it's got to be weird starting over.
Happy with so much freedom, sad for the lost of a lifestyle.
Oh hon I do feel for you.
Hugs.

And Annette it is good to have you back.
We were starting to worry about you.
Sorry to hear about the divorce and all.
Hug for you too.


Marie? Marie Simone? Or just Simone? Where are you?
Although I like them all I can't just keep calling you all those names sis.
Which do you prefer?
And here a hug for you too.
Can show favorites.
:)
Jillieann

Thanks for the hugs Jillieann and don't you worry about me, It's just a busy time.
Doing my job, the paperwork, lawyers and the emotional rollercoaster.
But I promise when all this is behind me, I will spend more time with you.

Simone or Marie, i was just reading your first posts again.
There is a lot happened since then.
I enjoy reading how happy you are now.
Keep on going girl.

Colleen, I know where you are going trough.
But, to see it on the bright side, thankfully you have a lot of support from your family.
I hope you can stay on speaking terms with your wife after so many years together.

love you all
annette

Quote from: Jillieann on February 13, 2011, 01:52:16 PM
Marie? Marie Simone? Or just Simone? Where are you?
Although I like them all I can't just keep calling you all those names sis.
Which do you prefer?
And here a hug for you too.
Can show favorites.
:)
Jillieann

Hi!!!!!!! here I is.

Marie Simone will be my legal name Simone will be what I use day to day, yes it is odd but I love to keep then guessing.   

Yes we have fun but we have our moments too.  Things are said at times even a gesture can be rough. But like in any friendship or relationship one has to take the good with the bad and the bad with a grain of salt. 
Colleen is mostly a great room mate.  Mind you,  I have my flaws and she does too. Important thing is over all understanding from all concerned.

IE: yes I did accidentally have a fire in the oven today. Blah blah blah..
IE: Yes Colleen has lived her whole life with a wife that did the lions share of the home work (This is reasonable since her wife was a stay at home wife at the time) But I think Colleen is quickly learning to be an Independent woman.
IE: we are both used to things being our own way. now we compromise.
IE: we often double shop. we look in the fridge and go shopping and end up having bought double.

You see no one is perfect and we are learning to live together. I take it as an adventure and an exploration of becoming WE.

Oh wells everyone have a great day

Hugs
Simone.

Simone,
I'm glad your well.
Yes it does take a while to get use to having a roomie.
And figuring who does what when and not getting upset when they don't.
That's the key to harmony.

Heared all about Colleen's LBD and nothing about what you got on the shopping spree.
Keep moving forward sis.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on February 14, 2011, 05:18:08 AMKeep moving forward sis.

Hey, I just watched "Meet the Robinsons" last night, and that slogan was in the movie!  I assume you've seen it?  Great movie!

Yeap Colleen I have seen Meet the Robinson's.
It's a fun movie.
But I didn't remember the slogan came that movie.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Where have you two girls gone?
My mom went into the hospital with pneumonia and is still there after a week.
And I got struck down with a bad cold. Thank you I am on the mend.
That's why I haven't been around. Thanks for asking.  >:(  ;D

So what are your excuses?  ???
Do miss you too terrible.  :'(
Hugs,
Jillieann

Just busy, JillieAnn, sorry.  We're going out to a club tonight, first time, and I'm feverishly working to get ready.  Had a GREAT shopping day today, got a pair of shoes (as did Simone), and a nice ring (Simone got sunglasses), and tonight, I'm going to wear my LBD!!!  So, sorry... just a "little" busy at the moment.  But, we're fine.  Just busy.  I do wish I had more time to spend here...

So glad to hear from you Colleen. :)
Wow! You get to wear that LBD and so soon.
Please write when you get time and Simone too.
Share about your shopping and Night Clubing too.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Haha, I was wondering where everyone had gone aswell!

Jillieann, I hope you and your Mum's health improve soon.

Thanks Make_It_Good.
I do feel much better.
My mom is impoving slowly but still in the hospital.
I am hoping that she will be able to go home before the weekend.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Hey girls

Where are you? Busy times right now?
I was just curious how things are going, everything okay?
Are the both of you allready used to live in the same house?
And Simone, how is your diet going?
Jillieann, is your mother recoverd now?
So many questions, I'll hope you can answere them. I really need an update.

Hugs for all

annette

Hi Annette,
Thank for asking about my mom.
She is still in the hospital. But off oxygen and doing much better when I talked to her yesterday.
Her lungs are clearing up and she is eating again.
Hopefully she will be going home soon.
I noticed Colleen gets on the Susan's but is posting.
Don't know what has happened to our sweet Simone.
Hugs,
Jillieann

Hi, girls,

Sorry about not posting more.  Things are just WAY too busy, and in my off hours, I'm too mentally tired to think of stuff to post.  And also, now that we're living TOGETHER, I think both Simone and I are kind of sensitive about what and how much we post here.  We want to make sure we don't cross a line and post too much - a girl's gotta have SOME privacy, lol.  Okay, updates on me:  I now have a friend-with-benefits I get together with once in a while (and she knows about me, and has given me jewelry, and gives me girl tips), I have an endo appointment on March 29th (YAY!!!), I'm down to 174 lbs (from 182 a month ago), and I'm using a number of things to see if I can get more hair on my head, enough to stop wearing a wig (Rogaine, Nizoral, NutriCap).  I commute to and from work, an hour or more each way.  And I JUST got my room nicely organized!!!

So... we're just busy living our lives.  Hope to post more and more often here soon...

Glad life is settling in so nicely for you Colleen. We do understand about respecting each other's boundaries.

A Girlfriend  ;). Wow you move fast.

We are happy for you. Tell Simone,"Hi!" from us too.

Big Hugs.
Roxy & Patty

Really pleased you and Simone are settling in. There is no doubt that having a friend nearby makes a load of difference. But respecting space is just the scond part, the first and most important is discovering what that space is.

I just get the feeling you'll do OK.

Hell everyone.

Sorry for not positing in sometime now. Been so busy with all the changes.
My legal name change is in. Just waiting for them to send me a new birth certificate with my new name on it.
everything else is going well.
Colleen has a weekend playmate, so she is not here much on weekends.  Which is fine, I can use the alone time sometimes.

I've been clubbing a bit at a LGBTQ friendly club in town. Getting hit on alot to be honest.  Guys seem to like the chubby girls lol.

Colleen, Dee and I are getting along fine. I am trying to keep things on an even keel for all 3 of us.  Directing the house hold with a gentle hand and a long broom handle.

But the beatings are coming less and less often now.  The girls are starting to be domesticated.

At any rate I am off to shop with a GG friend see you all in a bit

Hugs loves
Simone

Quote from: Simone V on March 05, 2011, 09:20:10 AMBut the beatings are coming less and less often now.  The girls are starting to be domesticated.

Yes, at first Dee and I enjoyed taking turns beating on Simone, but as she says, we're starting to settle down now, lol...  >:-)

QuoteDirecting the house hold with a gentle hand and a long broom handle.
But the beatings are coming less and less often now.  The girls are starting to be domesticated.

QuoteYes, at first Dee and I enjoyed taking turns beating on Simone, but as she says, we're starting to settle down now, lol... 

You girls are just have way to much fun.  ;D

QuoteI have an endo appointment on March 29th (YAY!!!),

QuoteMy legal name change is in. Just waiting for them to send me a new birth certificate with my new name on it.

Way to go Colleen and Simone. :eusa_dance:
Hugs for both of you
Jillieann