Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Background info: I registered with a shortened version of my full name, but was legally female at the time. I have since changed my name/gender/social security/everything. I changed my name with school, but did not even think about changing my gender with the school. I currently live in a single person dorm on a coed floor, thanks to e-mailing the housing coordinator before coming to school. Post top surgery, on T 8 months, pass 100% of the time.

Renewal is up for the 2011-2012 school year. I e-mailed housing asking what would happen for me, and was told that I could keep this room if I wanted, just to let her know. My issue is that this room costs nearly double the amount of other rooms in this building. It's adding $4,000 on to my yearly tuition. I think I'd be fine with having a single bedroom and sharing a bathroom with another guy, but I'm afraid to mess anything up and possibly get put where I don't want to be.

What would you guys do? I can see about changing my gender with the school I guess, but I'm not quite sure how to go about doing that. When I check the current room openings, only female rooms are shown. I don't know if that's because those are really all the rooms open, or because the computer thinks I'm female and doesn't show me the others.

The housing coordinator has been pretty awesome, but I'm afraid to screw this up. I should only be here for another year, but that is another $4,000. Just looking for input I guess, sorry if this was too long winded.

If you're passing and have had top surgery - I'd go for a male room personally. It'd help to room with someone who knew my TG status though - just in case something did come up. However as long as you have your own room and the bathroom door locks - I don't think you'd have an issue.

As for changing your gender - likely just need to make a run in to your registrar's office and ask for that. I got it done without asking when I changed my name.

If I were you, I would look into getting my gender changed on the system as soon as. Its better to be safe that way as you never know what problems could come up later on had you sorted this out beforehand.
  As for the room situation, I would go for getting a single room as, like Tad said, if aslong as the bathroom locks you should be fine. You might want to room with someone who knows about your situation, I woudlnt personally but I guess it just depends on your preference.

Im at uni at the moment, Im in a flat with 2 other guys, and 3 girls, no one knows about my sistuation, Im 15 months on T so pass fine but have had may delays so havent had top surgery yet,which is a killer as it does make things difficult, especially given the sports clubs I want to join. But hopefully next year will be better.

Thats really good to hear your housing co-ordinator has been so helpful :)

I will be attending college next school year. I was wondering if i had to but my birth sex or can I put male. Would I be doing something against the law by doing so? Also what if the college has communal bathrooms? How would I shower? I can't shower with other ppl looking at me.

Before applying for colleges, I'll be making some calls to clarify some of the gender technicalities. Personally, I'm planning to put my gender as male and just explaining the situation to whoever needs to know. And I'll either be staying in gender neutral dorms, which a few of my top college choices have, or fighting for a male room. I'll have been on T for 6+ months by the time I start the 2011-2012 school year, anything else won't be an option.

I don't know about the shower issue. Actually, that's been one of my biggest concerns recently. Any advice?

Also, Oberlin college apparently has an "other" option for gender, in addition to gender neutral dorms. And Reed's dorms and dorm bathrooms are almost all unisex, plus admissions was familiar with trans and androgynous people. Both very transfriendly, in case anyone was scoping out safe colleges.

Oberlin: The amount of tuition for the 2010-11 school year is $41,234 for the year.
Reed is a bit cheaper, $40,940.

That would put either, or both, outside the range of most of the people here.

But good on your for being able to go, either way it takes pretty good grades to get in.

You have two, well, three options:

1.  Pay the $4,000 and assure your privacy.

2.  Opt for a male roommate, don't say anything and hope that your genitals aren't an issue.

3.  Disclose what you need to and work out a bathroom schedule of sorts (yes its the hated bathroom issue, but there is no such thing as privacy in a dorm bathroom).

Oh wait...

4.  Find a understanding roommate that knows up front what the issue is so there is no first day as roommates disclosure and freak out to worry about.

All I know is, from experience, sooner or later one of you is going to see more of the other in the bathroom then they ever planned on.

Tekla: true, and all colleges are absurdly expensive. I'm relying heavily on scholarships for being able to afford it, and it will still be a stretch. Grades luckily aren't a problem for me, which is why I'm looking to such competitive colleges. I have an unbroken 4.0 for my first year and a half at my local college, started when I was 15. I'm sure I can't be the only one here who might qualify for merit scholarships. This community seems an intelligent bunch.

This community seems an intelligent bunch.

When people find out what I do it's inevitable that they will start to tell me at some point "I know this person who is an incredibly talented musician..."  And I stop them there by saying "Musical talent is pretty much the least part of this."  (See: GWAR, Insane Clown Posse, et. all.)

The guy who graduated HS one rank above me, would joke that we were not the smartest two people in the school, we were just the two with the worst social lives.

So I don't think it's about intelligence at all, it's about doing the work, day in and day out.  It's about not going to the dance because you were going to the library instead, or not going out to the movies with the gang, because you were home doing extra-credit work, which was stupid, 'cause you already had the highest grade in the class.  But if there was extra-credit work, we'd both be doing it.  The bands I worked with/for used to call me "Poindexter" because I'd have my books with me at all times, and as soon as I was done working, I sit down and start studying.  I'd have to gently remind them that Poindexter could fix their amps and build F/X pedals for them, and they could not.  (Poindexter was also getting paid no matter if the band was or not - a whole different level of intelligence in action there).  My one saving grace was that I was in love with the smartest (who was also the kinkiest, funny how those two go together) girl at the girls school who thought that sex was the best - and really the only acceptable - study break.  She took me shopping for my first dress as a reward for my SAT score (the language section, the math section, not so much).

Point is that grades are not a reflection of intelligence as much as they reflect the time+effort you put in to get them.  Scholarships and such also take into account 'outside activities' so my academic advisor (the girls called him Father Whatawaste) made sure I did all that 'resume' stuff.  So I ran for class office and student body offices, not because I gave a rat's ass about student government - I didn't - but because they looked good on my resume.  I did the student manager/trainer deal for football and basketball, not because I cared, but because they looked good on my resume.^*  I did the yearbook thing, not because.... Well you get the picture.


* - it also guaranteed me straight As in PE, because the gym teacher was also The Coach, which otherwise would have been low Cs, at best.  And, at that, I rarely did PE, always having to 'do something' with the manager/trainer stuff -  which usually amounted to locking myself in the trainers room or the equipment room and studying.  This turned into a huge fight my senior year with the parents of three students - all of whom were a lot smarter than I was, I'll cop to that - and who, if the PE grade was tossed, would have all had higher GPAs than I did, and who by some 'right' should have been salutatorian instead of me.  My thinking was, and still is, that finding a way to get an A in PE without having to get all hot and sweaty, shower with everyone else and get pegged in the face day in and day out in dodgeball did make me a bit smarter in a 'real world' way, even if my academics were not.