Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Elsa.G on December 16, 2010, 02:55:33 PM Return to Full Version
Title: tragic day :(
Post by: Elsa.G on December 16, 2010, 02:55:33 PM
Post by: Elsa.G on December 16, 2010, 02:55:33 PM
Well today i got a call from my cousin, she was very upset because she was 2.5 weeks pregnant and she lost the baby :( she was more upset because she didnt know she was pregnant.... It turns out she has a miscarriage because she has been incredibly stressed lately and was having family problems, the doctor told her- had she not been stressed the pregnancy would be healthy. She is very distressed right now and althought she is 20 yrs old im sure she would be a good mother. My cousin has helped me alot including with my trans issues and now i want to be there for her, honestly i was a little envious to know that she was pregnant but i know its not appropriate especially now. I dnt know what i can do or say to help her, any thoughts? :(
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: Catherine on December 16, 2010, 03:21:16 PM
Post by: Catherine on December 16, 2010, 03:21:16 PM
Quote from: elsaG on December 16, 2010, 02:55:33 PM
Well today i got a call from my cousin, she was very upset because she was 2.5 weeks pregnant and she lost the baby :( she was more upset because she didnt know she was pregnant.... It turns out she has a miscarriage because she has been incredibly stressed lately and was having family problems, the doctor told her- had she not been stressed the pregnancy would be healthy. She is very distressed right now and althought she is 20 yrs old im sure she would be a good mother. My cousin has helped me alot including with my trans issues and now i want to be there for her, honestly i was a little envious to know that she was pregnant but i know its not appropriate especially now. I dnt know what i can do or say to help her, any thoughts? :(
Just be there for her, a good ear and cuddles will help her along.
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: Arch on December 16, 2010, 03:24:31 PM
Post by: Arch on December 16, 2010, 03:24:31 PM
For one thing, if the doctor said that, he or she was taking a big leap. Or maybe, in her distress, your cousin misunderstood. Nobody has any way to know why your cousin miscarried, and there may have been many factors.
She is likely feeling guilt on top of grief--you can at least help her with the guilt.
She is likely feeling guilt on top of grief--you can at least help her with the guilt.
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 16, 2010, 04:15:06 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 16, 2010, 04:15:06 PM
Just be there for her. Hold when she needs to be held. A shoulder to cry on. Someone to scream at.
Many years ago, I lived in an apartment complex, and I was a little friendly with the couple next door. One day he came over and asked for my help. His g/f had just had a miscarriage and he did not know what to do for her. I went over there and she was hysterical. I held her for hours while she went through a range of emotions. About 1 AM, she finally went to sleep.
I would check on her over the next few days and she was dealing with OK, I guess. Several months later she came running up to my Apartment. She told me she was pregnant again, but this time the doctor had stitched a band around her cervix. Her cervix had fail with her last one. She later gave birth to the most beautiful daughter. I eventually moved on, but I saw that Mom and Baby every day till then. And it was such a pleasure to see her smile when she looked at her daughter.
Out of the bad will come good.
Many years ago, I lived in an apartment complex, and I was a little friendly with the couple next door. One day he came over and asked for my help. His g/f had just had a miscarriage and he did not know what to do for her. I went over there and she was hysterical. I held her for hours while she went through a range of emotions. About 1 AM, she finally went to sleep.
I would check on her over the next few days and she was dealing with OK, I guess. Several months later she came running up to my Apartment. She told me she was pregnant again, but this time the doctor had stitched a band around her cervix. Her cervix had fail with her last one. She later gave birth to the most beautiful daughter. I eventually moved on, but I saw that Mom and Baby every day till then. And it was such a pleasure to see her smile when she looked at her daughter.
Out of the bad will come good.
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: Angela on December 16, 2010, 04:16:31 PM
Post by: Angela on December 16, 2010, 04:16:31 PM
Very sorry to hear that. Be there for her, and on the bright side she is young, and will have more chances.
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: aydan_boy on December 16, 2010, 06:48:15 PM
Post by: aydan_boy on December 16, 2010, 06:48:15 PM
Your poor cousin :( I'm so sorry. Hope things turn around for her...
Title: Re: tragic day :(
Post by: bethw on December 17, 2010, 06:16:59 AM
Post by: bethw on December 17, 2010, 06:16:59 AM
I'm so sorry for you and your cousin. Just be there for her and hold her when she needs it.
Hugs
beth
Hugs
beth