Susan's Place Transgender Resources

how would you want them to respond?  What things would you want them to say and what feelings would you want them to express?

And would you want to know whether they had no idea or suspected?

I would mainly want to know if they accepted me. And for me personally, my being trans and my transition, etc is the hardest thing in the world for me to talk about. So I'd just want to get on with another subject as soon as possible. Everybody might not feel as awkward about it as me though. The less discussion, the better for me.  :laugh: So I'd suggest just seeing how they're responding.

If they did suspect, it might make me feel better that they really 'got' me all this time. But saying you suspected or that you didn't might make some people paranoid about how well or not they were covering themselves. We have a lot of pressure surrounding 'gendered' behavior. Before we come out, there was a lot of pressure to behave like our birth gender, and some of us worked very hard at it. After we come out, there's a lot of pressure to examine our past to prove we were manly/girly enough.
So some might like to hear whether you knew and others might not.

It depends on the person and how comfortable they're seeming.

Good luck. It's awesome you're thinking about how best to support your friend.  :)
Hopefully, you'll get some better ideas from other posters.  :laugh:

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 17, 2010, 09:10:08 PM
We have a lot of pressure surrounding 'gendered' behavior. Before we come out, there was a lot of pressure to behave like our birth gender, and some of us worked very hard at it.

I joined the Army to try and convince myself. That didn't work out as I planned it in my head.

I am going through this right now. I want to come out to a close friend but I am sooo afraid! I have several friends but I am trying to find the one that would easily understand the best. Lots of thinking has gotten me to the point of just coming out with it one day and getting it over with it.

I am hoping they understand and see that I am the same wonderful person as before.  ;D I know the shock will be there when I tell them but I want them to still be there when the shock of me coming out is done.  :-\

O.Transist

Maybe you can approach them form the point of questioning lots of things about your life, how you have been unsettled for a long time etc, and let them raise the subject in that context. Let their conversation give you an idea of how they will feel.

Just an idea.   Sandra.