Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel totally weird about starting two threads so close to each other, but I'm just really curious...

So, I'm gay. I'm very open about it. I have a boyfriend who is very supportive of my transition.

I use the word "->-bleeped-<-" and "->-bleeped-<-gy" pretty much daily. My boyfriend doesn't seem to care at all, and oddly enough, our female friend cares more about it than we do. Usually, it's in the comfort of my own home, except for a few days ago when I was shopping with my mom and she kept showing me just stupid looking girl clothes. I would never EVER use it to describe another person. (However, characters from TV or books is free game for me)

For all the gays (that word is more awkward to me than the f-word D: ) does that word bother you? Not necessarily when it's directed at anyone, but just in general. Why or why not?

EDIT: I do not condone the use of the word to label, offend or describe any person, living or dead. If someone were to call me a ->-bleeped-<-, I would be very upset.

I consider myself straight unless I fall in love with a guy so really don't identify with a word but somewhat similar

I use the word ->-bleeped-<- a lot when I'm with my trans friend because the word doesn't bother me. I keep it to myself around people who find it offensive but kinda like you I prefer that word instead of the "medical term" transsexual.

Well, i don't live in a country where people speak english. I guess that the similar word to "->-bleeped-<-" here is "bicha" ou "viado". And it's ALWAYS used as something bad, pejorative, degrading... Unless it's used between friends who know each other pretty well and have the intimacy to call the other as a "->-bleeped-<-" without being pejorative  o..o
Sometimes, when i'm talking with a close friend, i say things like "Ok, i know i'm a ->-bleeped-<-gy!", but only in humoristic conversations  .-.
My boyfriend really prefer the term "gay", because it's the "correct" word.

I absolutely hate the word, because it's almost always used with a negative conotation, whether it's about a person or not.

Quote from: Espenoah on December 23, 2010, 07:40:03 AM
I absolutely hate the word, because it's almost always used with a negative conotation, whether it's about a person or not.

I understand the negativity based in that word, but it kinda feels like it's lost all the mean-ness towards the homosexual community it originally harbored. Instead of meaning "Gay and that is bad" it seems now to mean "That is pretty darn lame".

Like the word Dank. It now, apparently means something is hip or cool. Kids these days, I swear...

I loath the word ->-bleeped-<-. I've never, ever heard it used in any way other than an offensive one, and it will always be offensive to me, even if a gay person were to say it. Similarly, I also hate the word ->-bleeped-<-. I'd much rather call myself gay, or trans, than either of those words.

Seeing as I live in Iceland, we got a good mix of american and british colloquialism 'round here, And so, we ('specially me and mine) like to play with our words.
When our friend comes over she sometimes asks if we wanna pop out for a ->-bleeped-<-, and we (me and hubby) counter with already having one in here and pointing at each other.
Things like that.

I don't "like" the power given to certain words by declaring them "bad" words.

Quote from: Miniar on December 23, 2010, 07:58:16 AM
Seeing as I live in Iceland, we got a good mix of american and british colloquialism 'round here, And so, we ('specially me and mine) like to play with our words.
When our friend comes over she sometimes asks if we wanna pop out for a ->-bleeped-<-, and we (me and hubby) counter with already having one in here and pointing at each other.
Things like that.

I don't "like" the power given to certain words by declaring them "bad" words.

This is exactly what I mean! Giving the words the power to be bad is just stupid.

Few things in language cause the hilarity as the difference between how a Brit uses the word '->-bleeped-<-' and what it means in SF when you have to 'pop round the corner and pick up some ->-bleeped-<-s.'

Quote from: tekla on December 23, 2010, 08:07:18 AM
Few things in language cause the hilarity as the difference between how a Brit uses the word '->-bleeped-<-' and what it means in SF when you have to 'pop round the corner and pick up some ->-bleeped-<-s.'

This is very true. :D

I dunno, I don't really mind the word if it's not used pejoratively, but then, I'm not really someone that's bothered by words in general. (Though it does piss me off when people say "that's so gay," etc.)

I'm not gay, but I honestly don't see anything wrong with the word as long as it isn't being used to offend someone. Same goes for most words, really. I think it really all depends on the context that you use the word in.

I'll be honest, I hate the word.

When it's used here in the US, it's never being used as a term of love.   There's always some sort of a hatred behind its context.

It's no different, IMO, than any racial slur someone can toss out.   

Here ->-bleeped-<- means cigarette and a ->-bleeped-<-got is a pork thing but from talking to americans I know the word is pretty vile to some.

Personally I think it's like the words ->-bleeped-<- and ->-bleeped-<-, the words put a horrible taste in my mouth, I hate them but I have no problem with people saying it to other people or describing themselves that way if it's not ment to offend. Context is everything.  :)

Quote from: Nathan. on December 23, 2010, 10:02:42 AM
Here ->-bleeped-<- means cigarette and a ->-bleeped-<-got is a pork thing but from talking to americans I know the word is pretty vile to some.

Personally I think it's like the words ->-bleeped-<- and ->-bleeped-<-, the words put a horrible taste in my mouth, I hate them but I have no problem with people saying it to other people or describing themselves that way if it's not ment to offend. Context is everything.  :)

See, it's interesting, because although I probably wouldn't say it, I wouldn't really have a problem with saying "->-bleeped-<-" in a non-offensive context, but on the other hand, although I know black guys that throw around the word "->-bleeped-<-" all the time, I could never say that casually or otherwise- I guess it's just been really effectively drilled into me that that's not an OK word to say, ever.

Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Seems almost looking for problems to be honest.

I think that a word is only as bad as the emotions behind it.  If it's not being used as something bad, then what's the harm?  It's just a word.

Quote from: spacial on December 23, 2010, 10:18:50 AM
Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Seems almost looking for problems to be honest.

See, that's the reason why I generally don't use words like this. I have no problem with them being used in a non-offensive way, but I would be wary of using unless I was sure no one else around me would be offended or think I was using it derogatively.

I don't believe a single word on it's own should ever be given the power to hurt/cause offence

It completely depends on the context and intent to me. I feel it's pretty easy to tell if somebody has malice in what they're saying and that makes all the difference

it doesnt bother me. plus, I wold rather be called ->-bleeped-<-/ ->-bleeped-<-got all day, then dyke.  ->-bleeped-<-got is kinda a compliment.

The word doesn't offend me any, even though I'm American I've been exposed to British terms since I was young due to growing up with a British friend who moved to the USA, and having dated a few British people who've moved to the states. My mind automatically associates the words '->-bleeped-<-' with a cigarette due to this, it actually takes me a moment to realize when someone is using it as a derogatory term. Not even joking, one of my gay friends was standing outside with me having a smoke, guy walked pass and my friend musta checked him out or something, due said "What are you looking at ->-bleeped-<-?" and it actually took me a moment to realize that, no, he WASN'T delusional and talking to my friend's cigarette, thankfully my friend has a good sense of humor and told the jerk that his rear reminded him of his boyfriend's and that was why he was looking, look on the guy's face after that was funny as hell. But no, the word ->-bleeped-<- doesn't bug me a bit due to my mind automatically associating it with a cig.

->-bleeped-<- is seriously homophobic and shouldne't be in the vocabulary of someone like Flightybrood who can appear as quintessential dyke to strangers.

Tekla you really need to move on from those old 1930's whodunits as I doubt if anyone outside a dragclub uses ->-bleeped-<- as anything but meaning cigarettes.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 23, 2010, 12:00:20 PM
Tekla you really need to move on from those old 1930's whodunits as I doubt if anyone outside a dragclub uses ->-bleeped-<- as anything but meaning cigarettes.

Actually I hear it a lot from gay guys and drag queens outside of the gay clubs in my city

I hear it from British crews traveling with British bands.  The Scots might use it too, but we've never been able to figure out what they are saying at all.

And in SF every bar is a drag bar if you dress right.

A welsh friend of mine uses it for cigarettes too.  It was kind of odd the first time he excused himself saying he needed a ->-bleeped-<-.

Quote from: tekla on December 23, 2010, 12:03:47 PM
The Scots might use it too, but we've never been able to figure out what they are saying at all.

That's the way they seem to like it.

Rab C. Nesbitt Dole Office (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k7VoFiagfs#)

Yeah, what he said.  Took me some time just to figure out that "UoouNAbooot" meant 'out and about'.

The term "->-bleeped-<-" is somewhat seen on par with the term "->-bleeped-<-" to allot of folks and so it somewhat depends on who is using the term and their usage of it

There are other "Derogatory" terms terms that are used between friends or by various groups in a non-derogatory way

i.e. A number of my friends and I would call each other "->-bleeped-<-er"... But if you call some stranger that it could be fightin' words

So if you and your friend are comfortable using "Derogatory" terms with each other then I guess that's your thing

Sorry, I guess I'm pinning a "Whatever" note to this one

Language only makes sense in context.

A lot of good points have been made that, yes, "->-bleeped-<-" and "->-bleeped-<-got" are considered homophobic slurs. The fact that some people are not offended by the terms, that is has a different meaning in another country, or that some gay people have 'reclaimed' the word, the same way that some black people have 'reclaimed' the n- word, does not change the fact that in MANY contexts it is still a slur.

So basically, if *someone* you are using the term around is bothered by it or thinks it's inappropriate language, it IS dude. Knock it off.

It is *only* ok in the US to use these terms in a context where you know it is cool. And it does not become cool because you can argue that SOME people have reclaimed the word or British people use it differently. The presumption is that it is NOT cool in the States.

And on a tangent, Dan Savage's original column used to be called "Hey ->-bleeped-<-got" and the publisher forced him to change it, and I think he's written about how he feels about it all now, years later.

I use ->-bleeped-<-.

I don't use ->-bleeped-<-got though.

See, where I live, about 85% of the black people call each other "->-bleeped-<-". I know a gay guy that say "That's so gay." to way too many things. I call myself a ->-bleeped-<-.

None of it is offensive, I've noticed, if you ARE it. If you ARE black, it's not offensive to call someone a ->-bleeped-<-. If you're gay, it's not offensive to call someone or something gay or a ->-bleeped-<-. Even if it is derogatory. That's just how it is.

I actually don't know many gay people that get offended if you call them a ->-bleeped-<-, but then again, it's because of where I live.

Quote from: spacial on December 23, 2010, 10:18:50 AM
Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Seems almost looking for problems to be honest.

Honest?

Anyway, I use lots of words that I know are offensive to other people. I've heard people complain about "homosexual" and "gay," for instance. And "transsexual"--not "->-bleeped-<-," but just "transsexual." My mother used to hate the word "stupid" and wouldn't let me use it because she considered it offensive.

I use "->-bleeped-<-got" occasionally to refer to myself, but not "->-bleeped-<-." I know a few gay men (mostly older guys with some history) who don't like the term, some who like it, and some who don't mind it. Same with "queer." I don't use these words to refer directly to them.

Some even object to "LGBT" for various reasons. Some like the G to come first, some want to get rid of the T, and some want to get rid of the B and the T (and even the L). I still use the term to refer to people in our "community." So, by implication, I'm including these objectors in that community. Sorry, guys, but it's a well-established acronym/initialism.

Bottom line? There's always someone who will object to something I say.

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 23, 2010, 12:00:20 PM
Tekla you really need to move on from those old 1930's whodunits as I doubt if anyone outside a dragclub uses ->-bleeped-<- as anything but meaning cigarettes.

I would estimate it's used 100,000+ times a day on the internet - it's one of the most common insults in MMORPG circles (you know, those things that have 11.5 million subscribers for just ONE of them).
You are totally out of touch.

Quote from: Devyn on December 23, 2010, 02:05:25 PM
I call myself a ->-bleeped-<-.

I've always had a bad visceral response to this, as it always jars when a FTM calls himself a '->-bleeped-<-'.
It's never been a word traditionally associated with trans men - it's universally used to refer to people who are perceived as 'men in dresses'.
I saw a trans man with '->-bleeped-<-' screen printed on his t-shirt and asked why he was using the word. He claimed to be 'taking it back' - to which I asked "Since when have people used it against you?" He then dissembled and said he was taking it back on my behalf, to which I replied "How misogynistic of you to presume and take action on my behalf".

Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Because once you work you're way through the list of words that are 'offensive to some' you're not left with that many left to use.

How misogynistic human of you to presume and take action on my behalf".  It's even more human when you've told them you don't need their help.  Even more human when you don't even want it, but are going to go ahead anyway, you know 'for my own good.'

I'm surprised no one has asked us to 'think of the children' yet.

Quote from: CaitJ on December 23, 2010, 02:32:12 PM
I've always had a bad visceral response to this, as it always jars when a FTM calls himself a '->-bleeped-<-'.
It's never been a word traditionally associated with trans men - it's universally used to refer to people who are perceived as 'men in dresses'.
I saw a trans man with '->-bleeped-<-' screen printed on his t-shirt and asked why he was using the word. He claimed to be 'taking it back' - to which I asked "Since when have people used it against you?" He then dissembled and said he was taking it back on my behalf, to which I replied "How misogynistic of you to presume and take action on my behalf".

I've seen '->-bleeped-<-' used against transmen, it's just more often used against transwomen. I'll admit that while people think of a 'man in a dress' when they hear the word '->-bleeped-<-', a lot of them wouldn't be hesitant to call a transman a '->-bleeped-<-'. Before I even knew transsexuals existed, there was a transman at my school and my best friend would call him a '->-bleeped-<-'. So, I mean, I don't know.
Then again, transmen aren't that heard of, if you think about it.
I've met people, told them I am a transman, and they admitted not knowing that you could even do that, they thought 'only men could become women'. So, it could have to do with lack of knowledge about transmen.

I have friends who affectionally call each other ->-bleeped-<-. They are straight, lesbian, bisexual and trans. But I don't use it with people other than that group of friends, because none of us are offended by it, although others are.

I don't use ->-bleeped-<- except when ridiculing trans bashers, the Religious Wrong (or right, as some put it), etc.

I never say ->-bleeped-<- about anyone ever.

Not gay, but words don't bother me, unless spoken with hate or intent to be hurtful.

I think too many people just look for things to get offended by. Yes, words can cut deep and sometimes worse than physical injuries but it just seems silly to go around getting offended because someone "used the wrong word".  I hear the words ->-bleeped-<-, queer and ->-bleeped-<- more around my gay and trans friends than ANYWHERE.

Contest is the key. Even if someone refers to you as a "transsexual", it can easily be said in an offensive way just dripping with hate and venom. Get over the symantics and go for the root of the problem which is hate and intolerance. Also, don't give in to turning into the PC Police and end up an intolerant hater yourself...

Quote from: StacyBeaumont on December 23, 2010, 03:51:40 PM
Also, don't give in to turning into the PC Police and end up an intolerant hater yourself...

PC police? What's so terrible about asking people to respect other people?
Frequently I hear the phrases 'PC police' and 'PC gone mad' used by people who get angry when they get told that they really shouldn't be ->-bleeped-<-s to others.
"But it's my right to be an ->-bleeped-<-!" is the most common reply.
Yes, you have every right to be an ->-bleeped-<-. But guess what? That makes you an ->-bleeped-<-.

But since they didn't seem to care about your opinion on their vocabulary or personality before, what makes you think they would after?

Quote from: tekla on December 23, 2010, 04:32:40 PM
But since they didn't seem to care about your opinion on their vocabulary or personality before, what makes you think they would after?

If they didn't care, they wouldn't get angry  :D

There is a difference between being respectful and being overly PC. An example I can think of is not allowing Christmas decorations in stores because not everyone celebrates it. I think you should be able to have decorations for every holiday. I understand saying happy holidays vs merry Christmas, since you don't know which holidays they celebrate.

I agree there Sharky, one can be too politically correct. If someone's being an ass, a person should have every right to tell them they're bein' an ass, if someone is acting the part (ei: a female being a B**** or a male being a D***) well, then they've earned the title. Same with the holiday stuff as you mention, yea, I'm not Christian, I don't celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Yule, but if someone walks up and says "Merry Christmas" then, hey, they're just being polite, no harm there, I'll tell them happy holidays back ya know. Problem with trying to be too politically correct is that, no matter what term you use, SOMEONE is going to take offense to it, if you say ->-bleeped-<- someone may take offense, if you say gay the guy next to him may take offence, it you say homosexual then the guy a few feet away may take offense, there's some of these situations that you just can't win, with some things there IS no real word that no one will take offense to, that's a big problem with everyone wanting to be politically correct, is that politically correct doesn't mean the same thing to everyone, we all have our own ideals on what is proper, what is offensive, and what is down right insulting. So, more or less we're left to taking a best guess and hoping we don't offend someone, but there's no need to worry about it to the point of making yourself nervous bout it cause, well, ya can't win 'em all.

Using down right, undeniably insulting and derogatory terminology is one thing, but if you're not prone to using the terms that are accepted as, without a doubt, degrading (which no one SHOULD make it a point to be degrading) then there's no reason to feel like you're walking on eggshells. Many terms have different contexts and stigmas attached to them on a regional and even individual basis, worry bout that could drive someone nuts! I see it this way, veer away from right out, undoubtedly degrading terms, be sure ya aren't using a demeaning tone and if someone does happen to get offended by the term you use, apologize, inform them that you've never found it or meant it as offensive, and move on. If they decide to make a fuss about it after that, well, that's their problem, because at that point they're obviously not taking into account that others have comfort or discomfort with terms that vary from their own views.

Win so ya lose some, and tone says a lot bout how ya mean something, so if you're not trying to insult someone, hopefully that'll show in your tone.......hopefully. . . .

Quote from: CaitJ on December 23, 2010, 04:25:00 PM
PC police? What's so terrible about asking people to respect other people?
Frequently I hear the phrases 'PC police' and 'PC gone mad' used by people who get angry when they get told that they really shouldn't be ->-bleeped-<-s to others.
"But it's my right to be an ->-bleeped-<-!" is the most common reply.
Yes, you have every right to be an ->-bleeped-<-. But guess what? That makes you an ->-bleeped-<-.

it's not exactly about being an ->-bleeped-<- or not. it's about people using PC for their purposes, and suddenly EVERYTHING is not PC to say.
around here, it's really silly. i'm kinda afraid to tell someone of an certain ethnicity that they're rude or whatever, because then i freaking discriminate against the whole nation. wait, what? they bring some children and they steal candy? better not mention it. your neighbor don't clean the hallway? "oh, that racist is always looking for faults in my person".... yeah, sure.
PC isn't meant as a free ticket for lazy, nasty people, but often used as such. which is really annoying.

This is an interesting debate about "in theory" whether something is ok.

Here, the OP specifically said his friend is uncomfortable with the term. Period. His point was, "Well, if I'm gay, and my gay friends don't care, she shouldn't either..."

Guess what? If she's his friend and an ally, he shouldn't be making her uncomfortable by using a term that *IS* a slur in many contexts that he KNOWS she is uncomfortable with.

This isn't about the PC police or taking back language. It's about not being a rude ->-bleeped-<-.

I hate that word, and can find it offensive.

Its just like people saying, "That's so gay" or "You're gay".

I am a Gay FTM and usually when people go "->-bleeped-<-" to anything or anyone, I yell at them.

Only exception is for the British who call Cigarettes - ->-bleeped-<-s.

Its just a big no no.

Quote from: Clay on December 23, 2010, 05:19:35 PM
it's not exactly about being an ->-bleeped-<- or not. it's about people using PC for their purposes, and suddenly EVERYTHING is not PC to say.

"I would like some toast"
"Please pass the salt"
"Is that seat taken?"
"My mother likes shoes"
"You have jam on your nose"
"Do you have any tissues?"

I can generally speak to other human beings without breaking even the harshest PC sensibilities.
It's not hard.

Quote from: CaitJ on December 23, 2010, 05:30:11 PM
"I would like some toast"
"Please pass the salt"
"Is that seat taken?"
"My mother likes shoes"
"You have jam on your nose"
"Do you have any tissues?"

I can generally speak to other human beings without breaking even the harshest PC sensibilities.
It's not hard.

of course that's what i meant. i'm silly like that sometimes. sorry.

Quote from: Vince1995 on December 23, 2010, 05:30:03 PM
I hate that word, and can find it offensive.

Its just like people saying, "That's so gay" or "You're gay".

I am a Gay FTM and usually when people go "->-bleeped-<-" to anything or anyone, I yell at them.

Only exception is for the British who call Cigarettes - ->-bleeped-<-s.

Its just a big no no.

I personally think a person sounds downright ignorant or stupid even for saying "that's SO gay" or "you're gay!". It's as if they can't find other words to use. I do agree with people being a little too PC, but in a world where everyone is so different and believes different things, people do have to at least try to be respectful to everyone. True, you'll never win 100% of the time, but you should at least try. Also, if you know that something is going to offend someone, it's best not to say it. Plain and simple. Sure, it might be considered PC, but why offend someone for the sake of your "freedom to express yourself"? To me, that freedom stops when it hurts yourself or someone else in many cases....

It would seem that what it really boils down to is the intent behind what is being said and if the speaker is being respectful of the person they are talking to

i.e. Your talking to a couple of people and they suddenly say "Saaaaayyyy" look at you funny and start laughing at you... Then they look at each other like Ha Ha Ha we got them

You see an obese person using two chairs so you walk up with a smirk and say
"Is this seat taken? Oh, I see it is"

Your sitting in a cafe and someone nearby keeps pretending to sneeze and each time saying
"F'in ->-bleeped-<-ots" within their faux sneeze

Obviously, it's not just about the words but also the behavior attached to the words

If they didn't care, they wouldn't get angry

Pretty much my theory.  Matter of fact one of the first huge steps to being a self-actualized person it to stop caring what other people are thinking and saying.

Quote from: Virginia Marie on December 23, 2010, 06:15:34 PM
It would seem that what it really boils down to is the intent behind what is being said and if the speaker is being respectful of the person they are talking to

i.e. Your talking to a couple of people and they suddenly say "Saaaaayyyy" look at you funny and start laughing at you... Then they look at each other like Ha Ha Ha we got them

You see an obese person using two chairs so you walk up with a smirk and say
"Is this seat taken? Oh, I see it is"

Your sitting in a cafe and someone nearby keeps pretending to sneeze and each time saying
"F'in ->-bleeped-<-ots" within their faux sneeze

Obviously, it's not just about the words but also the behavior attached to the words

It's more than that. Kids innocently say "That's so gay" without actually meaning any disrespect towards gay folks. But in perpetuating the use of the word 'gay' as something unwholesome or undesirable, you're bolstering that connection that being gay is undesirable and unwholesome.
You can do and say ->-bleeped-<-ty things even if your intent is pure as the driven snow.
Intent is not magic. (http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/intent-its--%3E-bleeped-%3C-ing-magic/)

Quote from: StacyBeaumont on December 23, 2010, 03:51:40 PM
I think too many people just look for things to get offended by.

Yeah, see, sometimes I feel like I should be offended by things... But I just can't be bothered, because words alone just don't really have that much effect on me.

Quote from: CaitJ on December 23, 2010, 07:56:27 PM
It's more than that. Kids innocently say "That's so gay" without actually meaning any disrespect towards gay folks. But in perpetuating the use of the word 'gay' as something unwholesome or undesirable, you're bolstering that connection that being gay is undesirable and unwholesome.
You can do and say ->-bleeped-<-ty things even if your intent is pure as the driven snow.
Intent is not magic. (http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/intent-its--%3E-bleeped-%3C-ing-magic/)

Good point dear... Children do innocently say all kinds of rude things... But I was referring to adults, not children... Oh well

Also, I never mentioned the term gay nor am I bolstering whether it is wholesome or not... But I do often wonder if Wonder bread is actually wholesome or not

Have you ever seen snow after it's been driven on for a day?

Quote from: Virginia Marie on December 23, 2010, 08:14:31 PM
Good point dear... Children do innocently say all kinds of rude things... But I was referring to adults, not children... Oh well

I was also referring to adults.

Silly me, my mistake... I thought when you said kids you meant children

Anyway, I'm getting bored... Have a nice day  ;D

well, when you've been called that word way too many times, yelled from across high school hallways or to your face, I have both ways and because of that bullying and NEVER hearing that in any kind of positive way, I'm not even gay and I'm NEVER going to not have a problem with that word. when hearing or seeing it i wish i could be just 'oh well maybe they don't mean it with any malice or homophobia' but i can't. unless I'm in Europe and i hear people talking about cigarettes and i know they call them that, I'm going to be bothered by the word. I've never heard anyone of any age say it and not mean it to hurt someone. they can say "well we were just kidding around." with someone you know is gay about 5 feet away from you and they're obviously offended by it? come on now.

same with people who say "that's so gay", or "you're so gay" when they mean and should say stupid or weird or bad but it's been used too often by too many people and kids get the message that it's bad or weird or stupid to be gay from people using it that way.

when it comes to the word ->-bleeped-<-? not super bothered by it, odd since that's the only word here that actually pertains to me but it has most of the time been used at trans women or drag queens/ cross dressing men. it only really bothers me when people are bashing them with the word ->-bleeped-<-. i hear Ian Harvie call himself that and it was at first like "huh?" because I've never heard a trans men call themself a ->-bleeped-<-.he means it in a joking way to maybe make it so it doesn't hurt transgendered people maybe. maybe that offends some? idk. not that i have any power over what other people say or do, not really my business but i say if your with a group of friends and it's an inside thing and you know no one within ear shot is going to be offended by it then have at it but when you know it's going to offend or hurt someone around then why still use it?

Quote from: MaxAloysius on December 23, 2010, 07:51:51 AM
I loath the word ->-bleeped-<-. I've never, ever heard it used in any way other than an offensive one, and it will always be offensive to me, even if a gay person were to say it. Similarly, I also hate the word ->-bleeped-<-. I'd much rather call myself gay, or trans, than either of those words.

I agree with this 100%.

Quote from: spacial on December 23, 2010, 10:18:50 AM
Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Seems almost looking for problems to be honest.

Like I said, I have only ever used it outside of my house once. I use it because it's slang, and it's left over from my high school dickish teenager years. I've never once used it to measure the amount of one's sexual orientation.

The meaning of any word is, in part, determined by the context in which it is used - where you say it, how you say it, who you say it to.  There are no words that are universally "bad" or "offensive".  The offensiveness of a word depends on how and where it is used.  If I call my friend a ->-bleeped-<- within a private conversation and it's understood to be a joke, is that offensive?  No, I don't think so.  Because it's the meaning that matters, not the words themselves.

Someone once told me that if you find a word offensive that you should ignore it.
Great advice, huh?

Works for me.  I've always had better things to do than to worry about the vocabulary of others.  And, since I'm not about to let anyone change my vocabulary, letting their's alone just seems fair.

Personally, I don't like it. It took me a while to adjust to even gay people using it, though I've built up a tolerance to it. I can't stand straight people using it. Ever. When I hear it from someone at college I automatically assume they're an ass, and I get a fairly violent gut response. If someone's straight and they want to call someone a ->-bleeped-<-, I'm not going to attack their vocabulary, but it will negatively affect how I feel about that person. People just have to be aware of that. I'm half ->-bleeped-<-, they'd better watch how they're using that term.

I don't think ->-bleeped-<- is ever an acceptable term, though if that's how someone identifies, fine.