Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi...

So apparently, behind my back everyone at school thinks I'm gay for some reason... Are they maybe picking up on the fact that I'm transgender and interpreting that as gay?

Thanks

Ashley

Probably just stereotyping.  Just ignore it.

Yeah...sounds like a mix of stereotyping and ignorance to me.

What kind of school do you go to? People thought I was gay in rural New Zealand because I had no interest in rugby, was softly spoken, and no good at sports, that was all it took. I had never even heard of the word "transgendered" back then though. 

I like to think also that "gay" has only one syllable, like "->-bleeped-<-" (another word used to describe me) and that the people who liked to use it were of limited intelligence and probably wouldn't have been able handle "difficult" words like "transgender" to start with!

Seriously though, despite the best efforts of bears, behaviour that is perceived as effeminate in males is usually connected to the idea of being gay for a lot of people.   

I live in the middle of nowhere... It's the most country hick town on earth...

I has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state of virginia, kids chew tobacco in class, and one kid came to school covered in deer blood...

needless to say, the avereage iq around here is probably 12!!

From Middle School through High School people were convinced I was gay ... they didn't even talk about it behind my back ... I knew I was Bi, so I never really corrected them.

It sorta stopped after I dated my first girlfriend for a few years ...

Lol none of the girls will date me because they think I'm gay!!

have you tried asking girls/guys (depending on your preference) outside of your school away from people who think you are gay? I am sure there will be some place where that would be possible...

As for the people who think you are gay .. ignore them and try your best to work your way out of that town... (no offense to anyone from there)...

Wish you the best of luck!!!

::Hugs::

The last girl I asked out, went psyco and has since then tried to make every waking moment a livig hell... Oh well... Most of the girls around here just want to make a baby anyway... There are alotof pregnant girls at school...

QuoteI live in the middle of nowhere... It's the most country hick town on earth...

I has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state of virginia, kids chew tobacco in class, and one kid came to school covered in deer blood...

needless to say, the avereage iq around here is probably 12!!

Haha.... just like me! My small town had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in New Zealand back in the early 1990's when I was at high school. The teenage suicide rate was sadly rather high too. One kid who was mean to me used to walk around with his butt crack hanging out of his shorts all day and every day. He would have chewed tobacco if anyone had ever head of such a thing here! Guys used to drive around in cars shouting at people for fun. That was before the internet.
I got on well with many girls, some of whom I was very keen on, but never dated until I was 19 and that was overseas. None of the ones I liked would date me, but it was to do with having no confidence in myself as well.

Ever heard of Dan Savage's "It gets better" project? (just google it if you haven't) It's a nice reminder that beginning life in small closed-minded towns is nothing to get too depressed about, it sucks, but it doesn't suck forever. BTW lucky you for knowing yourself so early in life.

I can relate to your post. I grew up in a small city that was best described as a giant country town in the 1960's.  It was still a crime to be gay, and I don't  think the word " transsexual" existed, even in the trash papers.  Anyone of my age here probably had similar experiences, regardless of where they lived..

I had few male friends because I was a nerd and not good at sports, and the girls thought I was gay I am sure, so no luck there either. At least you seem to have sorted out where you are headed, and can contact other people who are in the same boat here and elsewhere.

Good luck and have a Happy New Year.

Sounds almost exactly like my life at school. Even once people stopped taunting me for being gay they did continue to think that i was.

Quote from: Ashleyjadeism on December 27, 2010, 10:53:27 PM
Hi...

So apparently, behind my back everyone at school thinks I'm gay for some reason... Are they maybe picking up on the fact that I'm transgender and interpreting that as gay?

Thanks

Ashley

Annoying isn't it?

It's meant to be. Same as boys telling a girl she has a big bottom, or girls telling a boy, he's immature.

I had a number of people tell me (after I had gotten to know me) that when they first met me they thought I might be gay. I'm sure there are people who still think that I might be secretly gay. When I come out as trans they will probably all say, "I knew it" even though most of them probably don't even know what being trans is. :)

In either case, for me it wasn't a big deal. Once I got to know people they liked me for who I was. I didn't do a lot of dating in school, but I did have the chance to have relationships with a couple very nice girls during high school and college. I married one of them and love her very much.

So don't stress about it too much if possible. Just be who you are - and try to be comfortable in your own skin. Other people will see that, and be attracted to you for who you are.

Quote from: Madelyn on December 28, 2010, 07:47:14 AM
So don't stress about it too much if possible. Just be who you are - and try to be comfortable in your own skin. Other people will see that, and be attracted to you for who you are.

What Madelyn said is so true. Feel comfortable, like yourself, it is attractive to others. Even kids that give you difficulties will envy your confidence.  :)

~Hugs~

Mrs Erocse

I actually enjoyed the fact that many women thought that I was gay.  I got to hang out with girls and do girl stuff, and some wanted to "change" me to straight, and that involved ...   Now the men, avoid-avoid-avoid except for the broken misfit ones.  And then the girls loved my "compassion".  High school was good to me, real world-not so much, at least until I learned to navigate it.  And that took a very long time.

Noone outright says they think I'm gay... Although I'm a bit of an outcast, I do have pretty good status in the school. I'm the only one in the school who knows how to do 3d animation or computer graphics, so they rely on me for all that stuff. Noone wants to piss me off for fear of losing my help lol

The fact that I wear a black trenchcoat, leather gloves, and mirrored sunglasses probably doesn't help to promote an image of "normal" :)

QuoteAlthough I'm a bit of an outcast, I do have pretty good status in the school. I'm the only one in the school who knows how to do 3d animation or computer graphics, so they rely on me for all that stuff. Noone wants to piss me off for fear of losing my help lol

My special skill was that I could draw good marijuana leaves and cartoon bulldogs wearing German helmets (the symbol of a local gang) so the toughest kids weren't that interested in upsetting me. 

Quote from: Ashleyjadeism on December 27, 2010, 10:53:27 PM
Are they maybe picking up on the fact that I'm transgender and interpreting that as gay?

ignorance, stereotyping, and yes, I think your pretty right.

People see trans signals and seem to think about sexuality before anything else, where you know wer actually trans and don't 'act' the way we are because of an orientation.

One of the reasons that that pisses me off is because people try to set your sexuality just by how someone dresses or behaves. I never understood this, why is who I have sex with important to outsiders ? ... everyone (even my parents) thought I was gone 'grow up into a lesbian' just because I wasn't a real girl by miles. uuuh confusing much.

Quote from: Ashleyjadeism on December 27, 2010, 11:49:55 PM
I live in the middle of nowhere... It's the most country hick town on earth...

I has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state of virginia, kids chew tobacco in class, and one kid came to school covered in deer blood...

needless to say, the avereage iq around here is probably 12!!

Sounds like you live near me! ;D I used to think I lived in the most redneck place in Virginia, but sadly they're all pretty sketchy O_o

Oddly most of the girls thought I was gay thru school, I even had a group of girls ask me once, most of the guys just thought I was a fat loser and felt the need to pick on or start fights with me. I don't know.... I never felt like I acted femme or gay in any way, did guy thoings (except sports) but they must have picked up on something... still wish I knew what.

~Sara

Quote from: Miss_Anthropic on December 30, 2010, 12:35:37 PM
but they must have picked up on something... still wish I knew what.

~Sara

Believe me when I say, you just happened to be there. If it weren't you, it would have been someone else. And often, probably was.

That's basically what those sort of guys do, use others to justify their own inadequacies.

I know that sounds glib and a bit cliche. I remember having thing said to me.

I'm sorry beautiful one, but it's true.

What you need to get into your head though, it was never personal. No matter how much it felt like that.

Quote from: spacial on December 30, 2010, 01:17:26 PM
Believe me when I say, you just happened to be there. If it weren't you, it would have been someone else. And often, probably was.

That's basically what those sort of guys do, use others to justify their own inadequacies.

Spacial is right. If you look at the history of these people they are looking to do this to others too. Every school has them.  You are not the only victim unfortunately. I was picked on for my religion. Others I knew were picked on for thier wieght or handicaps. Sometimes people are simply selfish and stupid. It has nothing to do with you.

Much Love and many Hugs to all.
Happy New Year.
Patty

Quote from: Ashleyjadeism on December 28, 2010, 07:58:44 PM
Noone outright says they think I'm gay... Although I'm a bit of an outcast, I do have pretty good status in the school. I'm the only one in the school who knows how to do 3d animation or computer graphics, so they rely on me for all that stuff. Noone wants to piss me off for fear of losing my help lol

You have a lot more going for you than they do for themselves, and they probably know it.  The ones who hassle you are not worth your time.  Think about it.  These are the kind of people for whom "normal" includes having babies at the age of 15, being a grandparent at the age of 30, dropping out of high school, selling drugs, doing time in prison, making minimum wage, living in a run-down shack or trailer that you can't afford to heat in the winter or air-condition in the summer, turning to drugs/booze/religion as the only way to feel good about your life . . .  If you're so inclined, you might feel sympathy for the ones who are nice to you.  But do you really want to be accepted as one of them?

You're really lucky to have an imagination, computer skills, and a clear sense of who you are.  These things will give you what it takes to get out of there and build for yourself the life that you want.  You're 16.  You can get out of there soon, and life will get much better.  Soon enough, you'll barely know those people, so don't worry about them.  Worry about your future.  Focus on choosing the right college for you, doing what it takes to get in, applying for scholarships, and building your 3D animation business.  In 10 years time, these people will be bragging about having gone to school with you, while you'll be entertaining your friends and colleagues with amusing stories about them.  Believe me - it'll be humorous in retrospect.

Noone bothers picking on the handicapped kids, cuz they wouldnt understand it... Unfortunatly, we have a massive amount of mentally handicapped students, probably due to incest... Like I said, redneck central lol

@ alexmakenoise

you seriously just described this area perfect lol!! That's the main reason alot of girls around here date is to have a baby!! You gave a perfect description of the behavior of alot of people I know

Screw high school it is just a bunch of no talent, no ambition hacks riding herd on the most worthless individuals you will ever meet in your life.