Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How do you know when it's time to transition?

When the pain of being your birth gender is no longer tolerable.
I literaly waited until it was transition now or die.
Do not wait that long.
But ultimatly only you can make the call.

Whenever you are ready.

I agree with both of the girls.

Only you can make that call. Transitioning starts by making that call, not when you see a therapist, not when you start hormones, not when you present as your gender, not even when you tell people; if you do.

It is the time that YOU accept that your sex does not match your gender. Simple really. Actually it is the joyous bit. And a great relief. It means that finally you accept yourself as a human being and that you are perfectly normal.

Welcome

Cindy

I totally agree Cindy! You may be ready to transition yourself but you have to also look at the pros and cons and likely outcomes of you actually transitioning. Will you find yourself kicked out of home? Will you lose loved ones? All those types of questions must be answered and with me it was, I don't care I can't do this anymore. I need help. I need to change. And now I'm happier than ever.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 04:13:01 AM
I totally agree Cindy! You may be ready to transition yourself but you have to also look at the pros and cons and likely outcomes of you actually transitioning. Will you find yourself kicked out of home? Will you lose loved ones? All those types of questions must be answered and with me it was, I don't care I can't do this anymore. I need help. I need to change. And now I'm happier than ever.

I'm the same :)

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 04:58:23 AM
I'm the same :)

Yay!
Like I may be happier than ever but that doesn't come without the bad. Like my parents don't support me transitioning. I spend 40 bucks a month on hormones and I've been spending even more on makeup.. ;) And I haven't even really started to buy clothes. I'm not gonna be able to start saving money anytime soon with having to buy clothes, change my name and get electrolysis. But it'll all be worth it. :D

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 05:00:29 AM
Yay!
Like I may be happier than ever but that doesn't come without the bad. Like my parents don't support me transitioning. I spend 40 bucks a month on hormones and I've been spending even more on makeup.. ;) And I haven't even really started to buy clothes. I'm not gonna be able to start saving money anytime soon with having to buy clothes, change my name and get electrolysis. But it'll all be worth it. :D

Think of it this way hun, you may not be saving money, but you are spending it on your transition...so though it feels like money down the drain it isn't actually wasted.

when it gets impossible to get out of bed and put male clothes on to go to work.

It's time when you can walk on the rice paper and not leave a mark, Grasshopper!

Quote from: Helena on December 31, 2010, 05:21:50 AM
Think of it this way hun, you may not be saving money, but you are spending it on your transition...so though it feels like money down the drain it isn't actually wasted.

Oh I know, it's totally worth it. I'm just saying it does suck to feel like you're not saving any money at all lol. It's like I work and work and work and have no money haha. But it's for a good cause.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 12:27:21 PM
Oh I know, it's totally worth it. I'm just saying it does suck to feel like you're not saving any money at all lol. It's like I work and work and work and have no money haha. But it's for a good cause.

I know how that feels. I'm spending all the extra cash on things like electrolysis, and I feel bad that I'm not saving, but really it doesn't feel like it is being wasted.

Quote from: ClaireAnnalyse on December 31, 2010, 01:02:09 PM
I know how that feels. I'm spending all the extra cash on things like electrolysis, and I feel bad that I'm not saving, but really it doesn't feel like it is being wasted.

I hope to start electrolysis soon! D:

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 31, 2010, 04:06:34 PM
I hope to start electrolysis soon! D:

If you're hair's dark enough do laser...it covers a larger area a hell of a lot faster.

Quote from: cynthialee on December 30, 2010, 09:33:56 PM
When the pain of being your birth gender is no longer tolerable.

+1
That watershed moment takes longer for some.

Quote from: CindyJames on December 31, 2010, 01:56:17 AM
I agree with both of the girls.

Only you can make that call. Transitioning starts by making that call, not when you see a therapist, not when you start hormones, not when you present as your gender, not even when you tell people; if you do.

It is the time that YOU accept that your sex does not match your gender. Simple really. Actually it is the joyous bit. And a great relief. It means that finally you accept yourself as a human being and that you are perfectly normal.

Welcome

Cindy

I couldn't agree more.  I spent most of my life trying desperately to pretend it wasn't true, ignore it, minimize it, wish it away.  No go.  I spent over 30 years of marriage in denial.  When I finally allowed myself to once again wonder if it could still be an issue, at first I didn't know if acceptance was the right thing to do.  Because I was equating acceptance with failure - failure to be who I was expected to be, failure to live up to my wedding promises, it felt like to accept this would be to let myself and everyone around me down.  It took a while to see that acceptance was actually the beginning of something wonderful, rather than an admission of failure.  That was when I knew it was time for me.

Personally I can really feel things becoming unbearable to me right now since I have essentially delbt with trans feelings through isolation. Although deep down I know for certainty that I am female. I cannot begin a transition while I am just just starting to open up to my girly side. I need to actually feel that I am a woman rather than just a woman in a mans body that has never lived. I know however once I get to the point where I am going out and doing things even as a Sigh Androgenous Male, I will be preparing myself for transition. Mentally I can already see a shift away from my former male ego, and an increase in contentment. But I want to become more "girly" and definitely more social  before I actually begin transition. Right now I am such a hermit, and it is a very painful way for me to live. OPENESS is so important. That is one thing I have definately learned. Now that I am open I am actually telling friends and stuff about all this. The feelings of being a woman, the dysphoria and isolation I have built upon myself and I notice that they are starting to open up to me more and in some cases are even starting to treat me more like a girl. It is so nice!!!!! But yeah. For me I think in a year or 2 at the very latest I will be starting RLT and living full time as a woman. However at the same time it just seems unimaginably complicated.

i would say the sooner, the better. if you aren't completely sure yet, try baby steps. maybe by dressing in the female clothes you want to wear in private. or by trying to go out by yourself dressed the part. it's a good idea to do this, but you should be careful. it's best to try experimenting with your gender by going out of town. other than that, you need to develop a good backbone. i think it's important to have the confidence and be able to say "this is who i am, if it's not good enough for you, you're not good enough for me."