Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I hear many of you complaining saying that you lose depth of your vagina by not dilating in the plane. How come? Can you not do your dilation in the plane itself in the toilet?

I've wondered that myself, but never dared to ask.

The only explaination I can think of is, perhaps the amount of time.

It will be nice to hear some other girls expriences.

I don't have any direct experience but I figured it was a combination of the amount of time you'd need to spend in the bathroom, hygene issues, and the size of the place. It might not be possible to get into position to dilate in a tiny room like that - how small would you need to be to lie at the right angle in a cubicle?

But thats just my thought on it.

Riding in a cattle car for 19 hours, then sleeping the next day, I missed several sessions.
Good luck dialating in the toilet of a modern airplane.

Quote from: juliemac on January 02, 2011, 11:47:54 AM
Riding in a cattle car for 19 hours, then sleeping the next day, I missed several sessions.
Good luck dialating in the toilet of a modern airplane.

But I once also wondered why not place the dilator inside the vagina and leave it there permanently. Is this barable or possible?

a modern airplane

And when was the golden age of airplanes with huge bathrooms?  I mean, aren't all airplanes modern?  And its not just the dilation but the being confined in one seat, in pretty much one position for what seems like an eternity.  If it were an option I would think something like a train or a ship would be much better.

Quote from: Sad Girl on January 02, 2011, 11:56:01 AM
But I once also wondered why not place the dilator inside the vagina and leave it there permanently. Is this barable or possible?

As I understand it this would be a very bad idea - think of getting your ears pierced, and not turning the studs.  The hole starts to close up, even around the studs.  Same thing with a neovagina, but MUCH worse...

Quote from: Sad Girl on January 02, 2011, 11:56:01 AM
But I once also wondered why not place the dilator inside the vagina and leave it there permanently. Is this barable or possible?

a) There will be at least two inches of dilator sticking out of you
b) You won't be able to sit down with it up you
c) You'll have lube dripping down your thighs
d) leaving it in for an extended period of time could cause bleeding or infection

I lost no depth on the plane. Initially it appeared that I'd lost half an inch, but I got that back within a couple of days, due to diligent dilation. Your first dilation after an extended period of no dilation will always come up short within the first 3 months. You can get it back easily though.

Folks, don't sweat it. Going from the recovery place to your home will do no long term harm to your depth.

Your new V cavity has already been dilated 4 times a day for a week by that time. It's not small nor susceptible to inflammation closure like your earlobe. For comfort sake, I would advise against long drives home that take 1 or 2 days, even if you can dilate in the car and give passing truckers a thrill!

Most trips to the airport including the flight and limo may take 5-7 hours. Just be sure to dilate that morning before you leave, and upon getting home. This advice is based on my personal experience and that of a few women I know who've gone through it.

Again, relax! It will be fine.  ^-^

Another thing I don't understand is instead of using the dilator, those who are married or have boyfriend, does it not automatically get 'dilated' during intercourse? I heard you need to do it different times in the day. Of course you can't have your man hanging with you all day long but at least use him at night instead of the dilator, right or no?

Quote from: Sad Girl on January 04, 2011, 09:43:47 PM
Another thing I don't understand is instead of using the dilator, those who are married or have boyfriend, does it not automatically get 'dilated' during intercourse? I heard you need to do it different times in the day. Of course you can't have your man hanging with you all day long but at least use him at night instead of the dilator, right or no?

Your new vaginal cavity is made of scar-tissue.
Scar-tissue contracts as it heals and hardens into its final configuration.
Dilating is not just about putting something in there, it's also about stretching and manipulating the scar tissue to make it elastic and to prevent too much contraction.
A penis is less than ideal as it is not as rigid as a dilator, nor is the penis wielder doing the right things to dilate you correctly - it needs to go in, stay in and apply constant pressure to the end of the vaginal cavity, while rotating ('stiring the pot') around the interior.

The only thing I could think of would be to get to your boarding gate at least an hour before scheduled departure and use the airport restroom for a dilation. That way you've got it in right before the flight. Dilating on a commercial jet is near impossible. It is almost impossible to even go to the bathroom at all because every few minutes the pilot seemingly turns on the seatbelt signs and requires people to sit down. If you are in the bathroom, a flight attendant will be knocking on the door telling you to return to your seat because the pilot has turned on the seatbelt sign. If you are flying over one of the oceans you could be looking at a flight time of 12 hours. As soon as the plane lands, use that airport's restroom and do another dilation before going to your connecting flight, taxi, or whatever. I would try to schedule it right so that you don't have too much of a delay between dilations. As to the plane ride itself I couldn't imagine that having an effect on depth. I don't think the low cabin pressure is significant enough to cause any physical changes to your body. Hopefully there are no storms or issues with the aircraft causing flight time to be longer than planned delaying your dilation further. In either case, I've heard it is extremely important to not be lazy about it. Get it done pre-flight and post-flight and right away, no excuses. Good luck.

Dee, I would do anything and everything to avoid that length of drive after GRS-even to the point of delaying the surgery so that I could fly. It just is not practical. You will also be in too much pain to sit on your duff in one position for that long. Renting an RV would be the only way to do it. Maybe a train with a private sleeper is possible, too.

Why can't you fly under your old name (assuming you haven't legally changed it)? Either that, or start having a conversation with the airline now. Don't know if you're in the states or in Australia, we each have different rules for flying.  Good luck with everything!

a train with a private sleeper

Best way to travel anywhere, expensive though.

Wow I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sure there is no way you can pay extra to get the documents rushed? Here in Arizona, as long as you have the documents, they give you a new ID in about 10 minutes. Do you have a valid U.S. Passport because that will serve as an ID for flights. I think it is ridiculous personally that they even require an ID for flying. As long as you have a ticket there shouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately that has all changed. It is up to you but I still think it is wiser to not go the route of driving cross-country. While expensive, hiring an attorney may result in you getting those documents faster. It is a bit late now, but personally I would not have gone all that time without a photo ID that is valid. There are so many other reasons you might need one such as banks and employers. I would get this taken care of ASAP. You may be able to get a U.S. Passport if you don't already have one and have it rushed to you within a couple of weeks. They will still need papers verifying your identity. I would recommend hiring an attorney so you could get all this done. Good luck.

I'm sorry to have to put it this way but let this be a learning lesson not to wait until the last minute for these things. I have already submitted the paperwork to get my name legally changed. As soon as the court approves it, I plan on getting the documents changed and in my possession including the Arizona driver license, Arizona concealed weapons permit, U.S. Passport, Social Security Administraton card, and Arizona Birth Certificate. For some of these it is a law that I have to update these within a certain time frame. There are so many legal reasons to do this. It is not wise to have assets, titles, copyrights, bank accounts, government documents, insurance, taxes, employer records, school records, wills, trusts, and other documents in an old name. I'm surprised that the surgeon would not require updated documents prior to performing the surgery. Don't feel bad though because you are not the only one. All of this legal stuff is extremely expensive and a ton of trans people I know do not have their legal documents in order. More annoying is that after all of this is done, I will have to do it all over again to get the "M" changed to an "F" post SRS. I stand very firmly however in my belief that it is extremely important to have updated legal documents and in some cases it is the law.

I'm assuming that a 2 hour flight and basically possibly a max of 4 hours in between dilation at the hotel and arriving home is going to be ok.

But I can see how people from Thailand could be more worried. Maybe another reason they have to stay so long.

You can easily go 10 hours without dilating.
But as I keep saying over and over: one 18 hour flight won't lose you any depth. Dilate harder and longer for a few days after your flight and you'll get your depth back (and maybe more).

When I flew home, with airport delays, it was way over 12 hours from the time I left the Hotel room until I got settled in at home and was able to dilate again. I didn't lose any depth, and, frankly, didn't have any real issues dilating that evening.

Yah, I regularly oversleep on weekends (anything from 10-12 hours between dilations) and I haven't lost any depth from that.

A question for those that have been there... I was planning on driving with my partner to my SRS appointment, and then driving back after I was released. (Well, he'll actually be behind the wheel, fwiw.) But now I hear that a two or three day trip cross country may not be the best thing after SRS. We'd be going from San Mateo, CA to St Louis, MO on the way back.

Is a trip by care totally unbearable?Is there any reasonable length of time I could stay in San Mateo to make it more manageable? (As in stay an extra 3-4 days?) We were thinking of staying at an inn each night on the way back as I don't want to drive. Would this be sufficient chance to dilate? My main concern is that I absolutely hate flying.

Quote from: AbbyJ on January 10, 2011, 10:35:58 PM
A question for those that have been there... I was planning on driving with my partner to my SRS appointment, and then driving back after I was released. (Well, he'll actually be behind the wheel, fwiw.) But now I hear that a two or three day trip cross country may not be the best thing after SRS. We'd be going from San Mateo, CA to St Louis, MO on the way back.

Is a trip by care totally unbearable?Is there any reasonable length of time I could stay in San Mateo to make it more manageable? (As in stay an extra 3-4 days?) We were thinking of staying at an inn each night on the way back as I don't want to drive. Would this be sufficient chance to dilate? My main concern is that I absolutely hate flying.

With someone else driving, you possibly could do it.  Staying an extra few days wouldn't hurt either.  Much depends on how well you recover from surgery.

Realize, though, that you will be extremely debilitated and sore from the surgery.  And you would be extremely uncomfortable for sitting for days in the car.  If you could ride lying down in the back seat, that may take some pressure off.

Also, your dilation regimen indicates that you should dilate throughout the day.  So while you would be able to dilate in the evenings when you stop and morning before you leave, you would be unable to do so during the ride.  Though I have never dilated in a moving car, I can't expect it to be very comfortable.  You might be able to pull into rest stops along the way and dilate in the car, but privacy is an issue.

I would discuss this with your doctor.  Dr. Bowers, I assume?  She may have additional considerations as well.  Dilation is the single most important part of recovery.  At the early stages of recovery depth is most important to maintain, since it can be the most easily lost, and most difficult to regain.  And it is completely in your hands to maintain.  So take her advice very seriously.

Delaying the schedule for a day or so for a flight is one thing, but an extended road trip with an erratic dilation schedule could make it difficult.

-Sandy