Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I live in a city where im well known but i dont know how! I guess talking and me being outgoing has gotton me popular over the years. I feel comfty going to another city(20 miles away ) and shopping for girls clothes. i have not came out to my school and dont plan to because its not none of their business, but everytime im local (in my city) and i go to the store...i really want to shop...but why do i care what people say? i hate caring. Something inside me screams ''stop caring' but i never listen. So my question is...how do you and did you do it? How did you get the nerve to start shopping in the right section? How do i stop caring? I hate it.

Quote from: RoseBlossom on January 05, 2011, 12:27:43 PM
I live in a city where im well known but i dont know how! I guess talking and me being outgoing has gotton me popular over the years. I feel comfty going to another city(20 miles away ) and shopping for girls clothes. i have not came out to my school and dont plan to because its not none of their business, but everytime im local (in my city) and i go to the store...i really want to shop...but why do i care what people say? i hate caring. Something inside me screams ''stop caring' but i never listen. So my question is...how do you and did you do it? How did you get the nerve to start shopping in the right section? How do i stop caring? I hate it.

I just did it. The need eventually overwhelmed the fear.
However, if you know your sizes, you can shop online and never set foot in a store.

The trick is not to stop caring but to not be afraid of what people might think or say.
Then just do it.

Like the previous posters said...Just do it. I was deathly afraid the first few times and thought I might have a nervous breakdown, but I still did it. Gradually each time it got a little bit easier, like most things with coming out into the light of day. I kept reminding myself of a quote from the Tao which basically says "if you think too much about others opinions of you, you become their slave".

If I'm nervous about it or something, I always think to myself: "Oh what the hell do they know, I could be buying it for someone else!"  That usually does the trick.  If not, then I just go do it anyway and stare back.   :o

I do a lot of talk at art schools and we talk about young artists and why they may have trouble making working and putting it out into the world.  Usually it's because they've built up this critical "straw man," some sort of faceless person who cuts their work down.

What are you worried about happening in your town.  Are you worried about running into specific people? Who?  What would you say to them? 

Try to get to the reality of your situation. Those young artist who are fear the worst are lucky to have their art seen at all.  If it is seen, most people ignore the stuff they don't like.  They never get cut down like their imaginations said they would.  I present as male and shop in the women's department all the time.  (not much of a buyer until HRT)  I see men shopping in there too.  No one says anything, if I see someone I know I say hello.  If it's a woman they're accepting, if it's a man..what are they doing in the women's department?

And don't forget that shops generally don't care who they are selling to, as long as they're selling.. They're a shop.

Quote from: Rini on January 06, 2011, 12:58:43 AM
If I'm nervous about it or something, I always think to myself: "Oh what the hell do they know, I could be buying it for someone else!"  That usually does the trick.  If not, then I just go do it anyway and stare back.   :o

I bought lingerie for my 'girlfriend' ever since I was 16. I had my routine down pat; act like you know nothing and roll your eyes nervously - one of the sales people will ask you if you need help and you stammer that you want to buy something special for your girlfriend's birthday. When they ask if you have any ideas, shake your head and look glum, they will guide you to some (expensive) items and ask which ones you think she might like. When they ask if you know her size, produce a crumpled note with 'her' size written on it and ask the sales person if you wrote down the right numbers and letters.
Your own nervousness lends credibility to the 'lost boyfriend' act.
Eventually you'll be able to walk into a store, pick something out ask ask if you can try it on  ;)

Thanks all!! Big hugs!

The trick is to act like there's absolutely no reason for you not to be there. Even in boy mode if you act like that no one will give you a second glance (true you may not be able to try stuff on but if you have a good idea of your size and body shape you don't always need to), and if you really do feel a bit unsure...when you get to the till utter the magic words "Could I have a gift receipt with that please?"

Of course now I'm living full time, I just browse and go to the fitting rooms like any other girl. it was scary the first time, but the more you do it the more confidence you get.