Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I contacted my school yesterday and explained the situation "I'm trans, full time, go by Andrew in every other part of my life,  will be getting a name change soon etc." I go to school online the physical school is in another state. We do discussion boards every week and basically you have to write your name in the title line so I write my preferred name but next to the post (for everyone to see) is my legal name. It makes me uncomfortable. Also I put my preferred name in my intro post and yet my professors still call me (legal name).

So I get an email back today from the person it was forwarded to being told there is nothing they can do for me unless I get my legal name change done. I explained that I would have it done before I graduated in hopes that would get them to change their mind but it didn't. In the email I told them I just wanted what my classmates see changed at least. I'm furious that they said no! :( Okay well really I'm just upset about it. If it weren't for the fact that I like everything else about the school I would switch schools. Thanks for letting me vent everyone.

Hmm... I wonder why it's such a big deal to them?

Probably some stupid federal thing dealing with any student loans.

It is a shame but we live in a "carry your papers" society. My job won't change my name either on anything until it is legally changed. They have been supportive of my transition so far. I can kind of see it from their perspective though. If someone calls to speak to "Britney" and there is nobody there legally by that name, they might not be able to find me. Since I also work with sensitive and secured data I can't use pseudonymns when dealing with customers either unless it is a nickname variation of my legal name. Plus, for tax and insurance purposes, building security, and a host of other things it could be risky to be going by a name that is not legally mine. As soon as I get it changed legally they are completely happy to change it on all the company files and documents. I suppose school is the same. On the bright side there is no issue with my co-workers verbally calling me by my preferred name despite that it isn't official.

Sometimes I feel that transitioning so far is less medical and more legal. Instead of simply getting hormones and surgeries, I've got to go through therapy just to get letters for the doctors, go to court just to get the name and gender changed, etc. It is a shame in a free society that anyone has to ask approval from anyone to live how they like. I shouldn't need permission to do anything but that is not the reality unfortunately.

It's to attempt to prevent fraud, plus degrees are legal permeant records.  You should change your name before you graduate so when you look for work the degree name and college records reflect you chosen name or you're going to be outing yourself on every job app.

You guys are right. It is to prevent fraud and I get that, I really do. I just wish there could be some sort of compromise with my preferred name just on what the other students see and that my professors would call me my preferred name. I'm gonna get my name changed soon as possible at least my job if I get the position is gonna use my preferred name and pronouns I guess. 


Britney- you're right it very much seems like a paper thing. That's awesome that your co-workers all calling you the right name though :) 

I feel the same way, but with my work's online system. I regularly trade shifts with people and do via the website. There my legal name is just out in the open. There is especially nothing I could do there because it has to reflect me as a worker which is completely legal stuff due to taxes and whatnot. I usually just lie though and do the whole "Yeah, my parents were crazy right?" and reference names like Leslie, Danielle and Vivian (all names of men I've either known or knew of).

Lying works, especially if you pass. They have no real reason to doubt you... unless they're aware. Which, honestly, most people aren't. Otherwise you'll just have to wait and it really does suck, but at least you know it won't be too long.

All that 'legal' stuff may well seem like all bull->-bleeped-<-ty, but its only a way (imperfect true) of creating order out of chaos.  How I am I, as an employer, or Ed as a cop, supposed to know that you are the Andrew Scott who is a top student and not the Andrew Scott who's been busted twice for meth and has a warrant for kiddie porn out on him?  And hell, it's possible, its not like there is only one Andrew Scott. 

Nor do you want to be mixed up with the Andrew Scott who has a less than zero credit rating when you've been careful enough that your credit rating is good enough for you to walk into any car dealership and just sign on the line and drive away?

99.999999999% of a legal name change is all about not letting people change names to avoid criminal prosecution or debts really. And to keep things straight, you don't want to work your entire life and find out they've been putting your SS money in the account of a different Andrew Scott either.

Quote from: tekla on January 20, 2011, 11:30:47 AM
99.999999999% of a legal name change is all about not letting people change names to avoid criminal prosecution or debts really. And to keep things straight, you don't want to work your entire life and find out they've been putting your SS money in the account of a different Andrew Scott either.

Fair enough and I even agree with them. Just wanted to vent my frustration

Wolfman- that sucks  :-\ Sorry you have to deal with that man

Can you talk to your professors and see if you can just use Andrew in the chat stuff?   My son's school wouldn't let him change his name either but he approached his professors to get them to change what they call him in class...they all were more than willing to be accommendating.

Andrew, is money the only reason you don't change your name now? Do you not qualify for fee waivers in your jurisdiction?

Quote from: Rob on January 20, 2011, 11:43:40 AM
Can you talk to your professors and see if you can just use Andrew in the chat stuff?   My son's school wouldn't let him change his name either but he approached his professors to get them to change what they call him in class...they all were more than willing to be accommendating.

I tried emailing them because when they grade my work they constantly use my name 3 or 4 times each week but they seemed to have ignored it.  :-\ My high school teachers were awesome about using my right name but college not so much. My school works where I take 2 classes at a time every 2 months so I only have to deal with two professors which makes it slightly easier to ignore their comments.

Quote from: Arch on January 20, 2011, 11:47:39 AM
Andrew, is money the only reason you don't change your name now? Do you not qualify for fee waivers in your jurisdiction?

Yeah, money is what is stopping me. Rob has been awesome enough to send me the waivers but I live with my mom and she makes to much income for them to even consider it. She'd help me out but she takes care of me, herself, and two other people so she can't afford it. The court won't take the time to take the amount of people she takes care of into consideration.

Quote from: Andrew Scott on January 20, 2011, 12:12:19 PM
Yeah, money is what is stopping me. Rob has been awesome enough to send me the waivers but I live with my mom and she makes to much income for them to even consider it. She'd help me out but she takes care of me, herself, and two other people so she can't afford it. The court won't take the time to take the amount of people she takes care of into consideration.

Her income doesn't count....even though you live with her ... for legal purpose such as a name change (I know it's different for financial aid) ... it goes by your income so you would totally qualify

Wait.... really? Grrr I spent an hour on the phone with a courthouse person who told me this after waiting on hold for a half hour and getting transferred four times . Maybe I should just go to the courthouse and talk to someone in person?

Just dont say you are supported by your mother ... say your between jobs & going to school ...living on student loans.

Maybe I should just go to the courthouse and talk to someone in person?

Always, for anything and everything, it's much easier to get things done in person than over the phone.  It's harder to dismiss a real person, real easy to put someone on hold.

Quote from: tekla on January 20, 2011, 12:46:36 PM
Maybe I should just go to the courthouse and talk to someone in person?

Always, for anything and everything, it's much easier to get things done in person than over the phone.  It's harder to dismiss a real person, real easy to put someone on hold.

People used to think I was an alarmist and wasting my time when I went out of my way to talk to a live person, but it works.

And definitely just put down your own income and not your mother's. You are a legal adult, not a minor. (At least, that's how it worked for my buddy--he was making something like $800 a month and living with his mother at the time, and he only had to declare his own income.)

If I were you, I wouldn't even ask about this particular issue--just go ahead and do it. (If you have other questions, talk to a real person, by all means.)

P.S. Rob, that was nice of you...

Hey thanks for the advice everyone :) I'll see if I can get a ride or catch a bus on Monday to talk to them.

Rob- I just wanted to say thanks again. You've be a huge help with all of this so thank you! :)

Arch- I usually do the same and everyone thinks I'm nuts I just hate the phone but it really does seem to work better when talking to someone in person rather than on the phone.

I really can't offer any help whatsoever but just wanted to chime in and say good luck.

Oy. I feel your pain, Andrew. I'm working on a legal name change, and when I notified the school that I would like the name on my diploma changed before they get the things printed, the administration flipped. So now I have a pending appointment with the principal and lord knows what else, all while I'm trying to fight for my right to not have to wear a shirt and tie to school.

And the graduation dress? Now that is going to be a fun one to duke out with the administration.
/sarcasm

yeah I'm just gonna chime in with James and say good luck buddy  :)

Thanks James and Noah :)

Rebekah- Just stay strong that sounds like insanity. Really it's just a name ya know, I wish that's how they would see it. Good luck dealing with the principal. :)