Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I almost talked myself out of my shot today. Told my mom I was giving up and she was incredibly helpful and supportive on telling me why I should continue. See I've always had severe needle-phobia. Even when it doesn't hurt I panic because it's all mental. I've heard quite a few vids, threads, and even people around me say it gets hard to continue to inject themselves sometimes so I wanted to post this here instead of my blog thinking it might help someone else too.

So what helps you to continue with your injections even after most of the changes have occurred or even in the beginning?
What helps you to calm down while getting your shot? (meditation, music, etc.)

For me- Growing out a killer soul patch (yes I'm a 90's kid who loved the soul patch)
             My mom who also said yesterday that she didn't even recognize my voice when I was talking in the other room :)

I don't have any real calming techniques although I did notice that going into a bigger room to do my shot helped me freak out less for some reason.

I take a hot shower first, which usually helps relax me - and the muscle I'm about to inject.

I discovered that I have some sort of aversion to the smell of the alcohol wipes - probably developed by associating the smell to needles or doctors or something. So after I've filled the syringe and disinfected my leg, I get up and go to the next room to get some air & let the room I was in air out for a moment. Getting rid of that smell helps me a LOT.

I focus on the steps and the routine, not the fact that I am injecting, if that makes sense.

For me, the loud music thing (or meditation) would only work if someone else was giving me the injection. Wouldn't help me for self-injecting.

Before I started T, I used to watch videos of other people injecting to desensitize myself. Now, I don't find that particular helpful.

Well, my mother gives me the shot in my hip. I lay on my side, close my eyes and she does it at random. No 'are you ready yet' or 'here it comes', because that makes me more nervous. If it just HAPPENS then the fear goes away, or is at least manageable. While getting ready, I think as little as I can about the actual shot, and concentrate on making sure everything is sterile and the dose is right and that I'm comfortable where I'm laying.

I simply couldn't give myself the shot, though. I tried for an hour before finally hollering for my mom to come do it lol!

Quote from: Morgan on January 22, 2011, 10:55:38 AM
I simply couldn't give myself the shot, though. I tried for an hour before finally hollering for my mom to come do it lol!

:laugh: Yeah that's how I was today. I get mine in my thigh. Twice she came in grabbed the syringe and was like are you ready? Okay, little stick and my entire body ran away from the needle. lol so she's like "okay then you're gonna do it" so I sat there for a half hour with it in my hand and going towards my skin but I chickened out right before I got it in so finally she tried again for me :)


Sean- those are some good ideas thanks man :)

I use to have to give regular injections to people who were precribed what are called depot. Basically, without these, they become really ill.

The best way to get over this fear is to look at the injection. Think about what is going to happen and watch as it does. Focus on the irritation, because that is all it really is, and accept it.

I don't know if you inject yourself or someone else does it, but the way to put the neddle in is as quicky as possible.

After giving myself NUMEROUS shots, with the "stabbing technique", a couple months ago, I just couldn't do it for the life of me. I tried walking away, and coming back later, and still couldn't do it.
I got some good advice from a member here. Instead of "stabbing" the needle in now, I separate the injection site with two fingers, and slowly push the needle into me. There's the initial little prick of it entering your skin, but it doesn't hurt at all. The rest is like butter, and it's virtually painless. I have done the last 5-6 shots like this, with no problems or hesitation at all.

Thanks Spacial :) I'll have to try that. Normally I look away because my mom does the shots for me but eventually that'll have to change because I'm going to eventually do them myself. The needle going in happens pretty quick though. I have a friend whos muscle is so tough after a year on T that he has to slowly push it in layer by layer and I'd imagine that has to hurt horribly!

Thanks Joey, that's awesome advice. Normally I pinch the skin but I'll have to give that a shot next time

I focus on the technical aspects of it. The ritual of it really calms me down. I also distance myself from it some, I am just injecting something into a random thigh. Makes it harder for me to tense up about it personally.

If you're truly relaxed, you can't really be anxious. You might take a warm or hot shower, think happy thoughts, and tell yourself how glad you are to be taking T. Before the shot, work on relaxing completely. Stretch, flex your joints, shrug your shoulders, turn your head from side to side, get the kinks out of your back. Breath from the diaphragm, not the chest.

As someone else suggested, get invested in the ritual of getting out the supplies and getting everything ready. Consciously relax between steps, distract yourself until you calm down, and focus on the goal--masculinization. Think about yourself a couple of years from now, looking very masculine and perhaps growing a beard. Whatever you hope to achieve from hormones, visualize that it happens, and look at the injection as the most wonderful way to achieve your goals.

It might also help if you consciously look forward to shot day. I don't really have injection anxiety, but I had a little in the beginning, especially the first couple of shots I did myself. But I really looked forward to shot day, whether I did it myself or not. You can psych yourself into this kind of celebratory response.

If you're going to self-inject, you might set aside a large block of time to do the shot. Don't have any scheduled events or external pressure. Go through the ritual. Don't let the anxiety escalate--calm down until you are ready to proceed with the next step. Do not ever berate yourself for being scared or nervous--that just makes it worse. After all, it's perfectly natural to fear needles. And always think about how happy you are to be on T.

Much of this can also help when someone else does the shot, but my post is geared toward self-injection. I think it's much better to self-inject because you get to take responsibility for your own transition. And that's a wonderful thing.

BTW, even if your mother does the shot, you can go through most of the set-up yourself.

Quote from: Andrew Scott on January 22, 2011, 01:02:19 PM
Thanks Spacial :) I'll have to try that. Normally I look away because my mom does the shots for me but eventually that'll have to change because I'm going to eventually do them myself. The needle going in happens pretty quick though. I have a friend whos muscle is so tough after a year on T that he has to slowly push it in layer by layer and I'd imagine that has to hurt horribly!

Thanks Joey, that's awesome advice. Normally I pinch the skin but I'll have to give that a shot next time

Was your friend rotating correctly?

This really shouldn't happen. It's not uncommon with children with type 1 diabetes. They use the same site because it doesn't hurt so much, (bless them).

Also, I didn't realise you were pinching the skin. Use Joeys tip. Also, if you move the skin a little to the side, when you withdraw, the puncture on your skin isn''t over the site in the muscle. Though be careful and not move it too much. Just a bit is enough.

I've been doing my shot by myself and the time I freaked out the least was my first one with T. I had self injected saline at the doctor's office to learn how to do it. The reason it went so fast and I was able to inject correctly and quickly the first time was because I was recording it to put on youtube. Between thinking of time restraints and how it might help other people to see my video...it was as if I just had to get it done and get it done fast. Turns out my camera's batteries died while I was recording and it didn't save anything.

Work fast--get everything prepped as quickly as you can without obviously messing up the routine.  I don't have time to psyche myself out that way.

Focus on the ritual, as others have said.  When I'm prepping I start going over my to=do list and skip over the part where I give my shot, so I think prep needle, swab injection site, do math homework, etc etc.  That way you have less time to freak out.

Play some aggressive music that makes you feel masculine, like you can take any pain.

Pinch up the fat in the injection area, position the needle so the tip is resting on your skin, and then look away and just gently apply pressure for a bit then look back.

Use alcohol swabs that have additional components that numb the skin/flesh as well, I've picked those up at my local CVS.

Get everything prepped, put on a movie and watch for a while or read a book for a bit until you've calmed down, then go for it.

Desensitize yourself by watching youtube videos of people giving themselves injections beforehand.

The important thing is to keep switching up the routine until you find something that does the trick!  Best of luck!  :)

I am also extremely scared of needles and that makes me weary about starting T in the future. I just don't think I'd be able to self inject.

You know how you can stick a needle under the first few layers of skin and you wont even feel it? Maybe if you do that to yourself enough it will desensitize you.

Great advice everyone! Sorry I just finally got home and had a bit to say to everyone but I'll keep it short for now and comment more tomorrow. Or not guess I felt I wanted to comment on everyone's now. Thanks everyone :)

Arch- Great advice and I'll try the psyching myself out by making myself think of it as something that is celebratory. I do all of the preparation on my own already so that my mom can literally just come in and give the shot. It helped today I noticed when I threw the stuff away and left just the syringe with the T for some reason to make me calmer. 

Spacial- I'm really not sure, he does it the same way his doc showed him how but I really didn't pay much attention when he did it because back then I was even uncomfortable to see people get shots. Spending time in the hospital with my pregnant girlfriend watching her have blood taken, get IV's, and give birth quickly cured me of that fear thankfully.

Quicksand- Thanks for the suggestions man. Do those numbing agents work well? I had been looking at getting something like the "stop pain" spray the other day but I didn't wanna waste the cash if it didn't work.

Shai- really it isn't too bad. It doesn't hurt much at all. It's just all a mental thing for me. If you did okay getting shots as a kid (I always had panic attacks) it'll be alright :)

Sharky- Yikes my ex used to hold her sewing needles under the first few layers when she wasn't using it while sewing and it freaked me out! It's worth a shot though thanks for the suggestion :)

Nikolai- I'll probably focus more on it all next time :)

Nygeel- Oh it didn't record! That sucks man :(  Funny enough I think part of the reason I'm able to do my shots quickly is because I don't want my mom waiting forever so after one try I suck it up and calm down.

Seven- I wouldn't stick my hand in a bucket full of tarantulas to save my life but I do understand what you mean and I'll put up with the pain and everything. Just wanted some suggestions on how to handle nervousness about it better.

Quote from: GQjoey on January 22, 2011, 12:58:52 PMInstead of "stabbing" the needle in now, I separate the injection site with two fingers, and slowly push the needle into me.

I do this too, mostly because I'm concerned if I just stab myself it would increase the chance of damaging something. Lately I've found numbing the area with an ice pack helps alot because then I don't feel anything.

Quote from: Andrew Scott on January 22, 2011, 10:03:11 PM
Shai- really it isn't too bad. It doesn't hurt much at all. It's just all a mental thing for me. If you did okay getting shots as a kid (I always had panic attacks) it'll be alright :)

I had no problem with getting shots. It's more of getting blood I have a problem with (I have passed on on multiple occasions). I'm nervous about having to stick myself with the needle but as long as there's no blood (which there shouldn't be) I should be find (hopefully xD). But I'm not close to starting T yet so I've still got some time.

Ya, the shot is the biggest thing i fear about starting T. Just reading these things make me nervous that I wont be able to do it. But all these tips are helpful for when I do start, so thank you.

When I was getting my shots from a nurse, I wasn't sure how much anxiety I would have about self-injecting. I don't worry about receiving shots, but I was a little freaked out by the idea of doing it myself. So I did some reading. Most of the tips I shared here--the points about the ritual, relaxation, and refocusing when you get anxious--I learned from experts who counsel folks with chronic illnesses who must self-inject. Spacial covered some other stuff I read--I'd say she knows of what she speaks.

The part about looking forward to shot day is pure Arch, but I think most of us do anticipate T day, even if we aren't too thrilled about getting pricked. When I think about what would happen if I DIDN'T inject, any little worries I might have pale in comparison to the wonders of getting the right juice in my system and feeling better and being read accurately by other people.

i used to ice my leg before my shot and it made it so i couldn't even feel it. between an ice pack and a tiny needle it goes very smoothly.
now though the ice is more of a pain in the butt than just doing the shot.

Hi guys, I'm brand new to this site so HELLO!
I have been giving myself T shots for about for about 25 years now....yes I am older!! lol. I give myself my shot in the hip and one thing my nurse, who showed me how to do it myself, taught me to help to keep it painless is to stand up straight and then move your feet so your toes are pointing toward each other, yes pigeon toed, bend forward slightly then inject yourself. this really works! this trick stretches out the hip/butt muscles so it is less painfull. I have never injected in the thigh so I don't have any advice for that sorry....the hip area has more fat so it is less painful.
Just keep in mind Andrew you are doing this for a reason.....to achieve something you have ALWAYS wanted in life!!! once I started doing my shots I have NEVER looked back cause I started living my life the way it was ment to be and NOTHING....even a needle was going to stop me!!
Take care and if you got any questions (any of you guys, not just Andrew, let me know, I'm will to share my experiences, transitioning and surgeries, with you)

Andrew, another suggestion is you can get T-cream and also T-patches, I have used both of those and they work well the only thing is you have to apply everyday instead of the weekly or bi-weekly shots. the only thing I didn't like about the patches, well 2 things, is first they are noisy, seriously they crinkle when you move, they are about the size of an eye patch, so I didn't like "hearing" it all the time and second it HURT LIKE HELL taking it off, I am VERY hairy so it was like waxing a small section of your body each day!! (it had to be placed in a new area on the upper body each day) the cream was good also the only reason I stopped using it was because I was in a relationship and we were both worried about her getting some of the T on her skin when I would sweat....Dr. assured us it wouldn't happen but didn't want to take any chances.

Thanks guys I think I'll try the stop-pain or ice and some of the other tips from here.

Sparky- welcome to the site man. 25 years... wow that's awesome man :) I considered T cream or patches but they seem like more of a pain and really I don't have insurance so it isn't an affordable option. Plus... I kinda want to face my fears of needles because either way I'll have to handle getting my blood-drawn. Thanks for the advice :)

I feel pretty tough and manly when I inject myself. I'm sure there's some sort of phallic message there...