Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The ex called an hour ago to let me know that the judge signed off on the divorce papers. Apparently the judge would have been willing to give my wife more than the 50/50 we agreed upon (seeing as how I was at "fault" for being MTF, at least according to the judge), but my wife declined. The judge then said that she would not put my wife through more than she had already been through (apparently the judge could have asked for affidavits and other things that would have dragged out the process) and signed the divorce decree.

Even though this officially also gives me my freedom, I am heartbroken today and bursting into tears at different moments. I thanked my wife on the phone and will probably thank her for the 15 years we had later, but right now, I find it hard to speak. I did tell my mom to please STOP calling me by my male name and please use female pronouns. I payed dearly for that right with my former home and marriage. I think that might have gotten through to her.

You have my deepest of condolences.
**hugz Meoldy**

I'm so sorry Melody. I hope the rest of your life is filled with nothing but joy.
Take and hold this hug from me.
Hugs
Beth

Sorry Melody.

A few of my friends have become good friends "again" with their ex.  They go shopping and go to different venues.   

Many judges are very bigoted.  One of my t friends is a good parent and the children love their parent; however, in the recent divorce the judge gave the children to the absolutely awful wife.

I hope you feel better soon.

Thinking of you Melody.

Melody I am sorry too that you're having a hard day :(

I've followed your posts and I see you as such an inspirational woman. You have given many others out there (like me) courage and strength by sharing your journey with us so far.

I can't wait to see what is around the corner for you, but I am also sad with you today.

Very sorry to hear that  :( *hugs!*

I am sorry to hear this, Melody.  But as you said you now have your freedom to move forward.

Hugs Sis.

We are sorry that you are having a rough day Melody.

Many, Many, Many big Hugs.

Patty & Roxy

Thank you for the words of support ladies. It's nice to know I have my corner on the Internet. My wife and I both made announcements on our Facebook page. She is up to 30 comments of support. I have a big fat 0. Mostly the same friends too. I have half a mind to unfriend the lot of them. Guess I know where I stand.

Madelyn, it is nice to know some people find my story inspirational. I in turn look to the others who came before for inspiration and encouragement. I guess we are all part of the Great Circle of Transition. LOL!

I think it is high time I toss a few back.

I will be your friend on Facebook and give you support Melody! PM me how to find you :) I only currently have one friend on there as Madelyn so I need some more friends :)

Quote from: Melody Maia on January 24, 2011, 02:27:12 PM
I have half a mind to unfriend the lot of them. Guess I know where I stand.

I know you're feeling low right now. You will be thinking through a cloud of sadness.

But don't do that.

Rise above it. Show you're the better person.

Melody-

You are in my thoughts. There isn't much more I can say here, except to stay strong.

Many hugs,
Jacquelyn

Ps. If you ever need to talk Im just a PM away. :)

Melody, reading your posting has carried me back to my own divorce from my first wife, the mother of three of my four children. Even though I was the one who initiated the divorce, was intellectually resigned to it, it was OK with my mother and my religion, and I accepted when friends divorced, my divorce was the hardest thing I've gone through. We'd been married five months short of twenty-five years, but she made it plain to me and our kids that she could no longer respect me. My gender issues were a large part of that. And even though I thought I could live with anybody, the constant verbal battering was more than I could take.

My experience tells me, you need to allow yourself to grieve. It is as though someone very close to you died. And trust that there is a new life on the other side.

In my case, the children all came around and we have very close relationships--and they are close to my ex-wife, too. When my eldest came north from Virginia to marry her childhood sweetheart, she stayed with me the week before the wedding, because her mother "had no time for her." As a result, my ex-wife tried unsuccessfully to have me arrested as I walked my daughter down the aisle. With the exception of a couple of instances like that, our relations have been cordial. She even came to me once when relations with her new husband were strained, and she needed a shoulder to cry on. She told me, that at that point, she came to understand what I had endured from her. My daughters are strong and intelligent; my son is sensitive; and I have three grandchildren who are treasures.

This Spring I will celebrate a twenty-third anniversary with a woman who has always tried to cope with my gender issues (as I, too, have tried to cope and understand them). Our daughter just turned twenty-one.

My hope for you is that you find solace, happiness in your new life, and enduring friendships, whether new or old. I wish I could give you a long, warm hug (better down there, for temperatures here are below zero), but, for now, please accept the virtual kind.

May God bless you with peace,
S

Yes, I've been grieving for awhile even before the divorce, but the strides I've made this last week have distracted me from my grief. I never really had that good cry that I expected to have since I left. Today's events though have brought back those feelings of grief and sadness. I just went for a run to clear my head and my mom went to church so I'm alone. I'm gonna jump in the shower now and try to cry it out.

 :'(

:icon_hug:

It gets better. I promise.

Oh, Melody, I'm so sorry.  I can only echo the sentiments expressed above.  I know it's not enough.  I am now just 5 days away from moving out myself, and I know how I'm feeling.  It's hard.  I do truly hope that we all come through this to a brighter tomorrow.  That hope is about all I have at the moment.

*hugs* girl.

I have so been there. Thankfully the judge wasnt a total dick like it sounds like yours was, geez. Friggin ridiculous.

But I am still paying my ex alimony. 2 more months of that left finally!

Quote from: Jerica on January 25, 2011, 05:05:58 PM
*hugs* girl.

I have so been there. Thankfully the judge wasnt a total dick like it sounds like yours was, geez. Friggin ridiculous.

But I am still paying my ex alimony. 2 more months of that left finally!

Thanks Jerica. Luckily my wife is a fair and honest person, but that is Texas for you. I will be paying child support until my son graduates high school, which is fine, but my wife makes a 6 figure salary and I am technically unemployed for now. Child support is mandatory even if my wife was a millionaire and I was homeless. Doesn't make much sense to me. However, I love my son and will try to write that check without bitterness.