General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: Amazon D on January 24, 2011, 07:17:49 PM Return to Full Version

Title: a 10 yr post op friend of mine is she really my friend or what?
Post by: Amazon D on January 24, 2011, 07:17:49 PM
I have known her for almost 10 yrs and well she liked me better when i was just learning about myself after  3 yrs or so of transitioning while i was experiementing as best as i could dressing and living female etc etc but it has come to a point where i told her i need to go my own way because we do not have a thing in common. Every conversation becomes a digg where she diggs at me and what i say then it seems i do the same with what she says. I told her tonight on the phone we have nothing in common. I asked her to tell me one thing. She couldn't. She just said she was sharpening her debating skills. I told her i was tired of her using me that way. I hate letting her go but i also hate being used or being dugg upon in every conversation both on the phone and online. Its hell but i have changed and i have tried to see her way but she likes men and gets abused by them and well i like women and don't get abused by them. She is into computers and i am into building but she wants to be a builder so she bought some lots in LA and wants me to build for her but i told her i hate the city and she loves it. Its a long drawn out thing and well i just can't see an end and it just seems to get worse where she says nasty things to me and about me and what i am doing and well i can't deal with the abuse but i also know she has no real friends so it hurts me to let her go but the abuse is too much thanks for letting me share here.. she just quit her job programing making 100k a yr and may lose a lot on those lot investments but i begged her not to do it but she wants me to be her builder sheesh .. ok enough you get the picture i get made to feel like i owe her and i feel for her and she shapens her debating skills on me.. n real friend but i still care because well i am that kind of person.. i just pray she will find God or some true spirituality and stop abusive drinking and being abused and throwing money around etc etc etc  ??? ??? ???  she is in her 30's and younger but wow  :-\   she desn't know what she wants but she does want to keep in contact with me every day and keep digging over and over and over grrrr >:(  what should i do ??
Title: Re: a 10 yr post op friend of mine is she really my friend or what?
Post by: Mrs Erocse on January 24, 2011, 08:18:21 PM
I once had a friend who I admired for her artistic skills and teaching capabilities. We had fun painting together. She had an issue with every single person she came into contact with. Soon I felt like we were only talking about negative things all of the time. I had to tell her to stop calling me. I explained exactly why. I didn't want to have a bad relationship with everyone. I stressed all of the time about  coming up with positive responses.  Worried that something would come back to me that I should not have said. I am not that person and did not want to put myself in that position.

We saw each other from time to time. I always felt bad about having to tell her that; but my life was much simpler and better for it.

Sometimes we have to choose. Maybe just insist that she call less frequently and only if she can keep things on a positive note.

After all this is your life too. It is always difficult to stay positive yet altogether necessary in life.

Just a thought.
Hugs.
Patty