Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi Folks

I am still at the very early stages of my transition, and I have just started going out and about whilst dressed. I have found that I feel really self concious if I am wearing a wig, but if I am not, and am just wearing girls clothes I don't feel in the slightest bit uncomfortable. Has anyone else found this? I'm not exactly surprised by it, but it was a little unexpected.

I think it is because I feel like I am somehow pretending to be someone else whilst wearing a wig, as if I am hiding behind it, whereas when I am just me in girls clothes, then that somehow seems more honest.

I am seeing my therapist on thursday so I will see what they think but I would be interested to hear what anyone else's early days experiences were like.

Amy.x

I put a wig on once and was like no freaking way! I felt so disconnected from it. But then again I have a full head of hair and grew it out. If I did have less than a full head of hair I would wear one and I suppose get used to it.

I am waiting for my hair to grow out at the moment.... :-/

Patience is a virtue, apparently!

I guess as with most TG girls, hair can be an issue. Especially when u r older and there's some thinning. I would rather not have to wear a wig, but for now I must. Although since being on HRT, my hair has improved alot. That is one reason I am considering FFS and to lower my hair line. But then again if u think about it, there's lots of genetic women that do wear wigs. Has alot to do with wig selection and the quality....

Hi Christy

I'm not planning on going full time until the autumn, so I can get the majority of my facial hair sorted, and hopefully my hair will have grown a bit by then, although given that it is curly, it tends to grow outwards before it grows downwards! Hopefully I will be on HRT by the beginning of summer... I think the wig is inevitable, at least in the short term.

I am planning (and saving) for FFS as well, with a hairline recontouring and some grafts to level it off a bit too. I'm 36 and whilst my hair isnt thinning, it has gone back a little at the temples, and I have always had a forehead you could land a helicopter on... :-(

That's a wig in my avatar. Wigs can be alot of fun, but I have a full head of curly hair that I can grow out, and I will. Just try to find one that's versatile and let it do what it can for you.  :)

Hi Marina

I actually saw your picture on a post a couple of days ago and thought, If I could only find a wig like that girls hair!. You look great, and really pretty in your picture. :-) I will continue the wig search... :-)

Amy.x

Quote from: amybenedict on February 01, 2011, 12:27:41 PM
Hi Marina

I actually saw your picture on a post a couple of days ago and thought, If I could only find a wig like that girls hair!. You look great, and really pretty in your picture. :-) I will continue the wig search... :-)

Amy.x

;D Thanks! Good luck!

I wore one for a while.  Till mine grew out.  Some of us will always need them.  Mostly because of MPB.

When I started experimenting with living mostly full time I bought several rather expensive natural hair wigs in attempt to feel more natural looking ...

That didn't work.  They always looked like wigs and were very uncomfortable in warm weather.

That's when I started growing out my hair and have been pretty happy since.   

I would say, if you have hair that is fairly full, just grow it out. 

Quote from: Dana Lane on February 01, 2011, 08:50:20 AM
I put a wig on once and was like no freaking way! I felt so disconnected from it. But then again I have a full head of hair and grew it out. If I did have less than a full head of hair I would wear one and I suppose get used to it.

Same here! Mind you, it was a cheap wig and I was only 16, but I just said no way.

Now I'm kicking myself because I got my hair cut last July - combine that 8 inches with the six I have now, it'd be perfect!

I feel really sorry for those girls who have no choice.

I know someone whose hair had passed the point of no return before deciding to transition. She has a lovely wig but it is so restricting.

I count myself as one of the lucky ones.

Caroline

Yes I wore a wig for the first 4 months of transition. I got used to it but once I didn't need it anymore, WOW I felt so much better....less fake. ;) Same with ditching the breast forms.

Quote from: Jerica on February 02, 2011, 03:24:18 PM
Yes I wore a wig for the first 4 months of transition. I got used to it but once I didn't need it anymore, WOW I felt so much better....less fake. ;) Same with ditching the breast forms.

I'll second that!   The forms went pretty quickly for me.   I won't get into it, but I feel so much more free and natural without all of those, for lack of a better word, masks to hide behind.

Might just be me, though.

Wigs were super uncomfortable for me. Natural hair is so much better.
Ahh breastforms... I still have my homemade breast forms floating around somewhere. Surprisingly they did quite well for being rice, lol.

If you can get the right ones they are fun to wear and can change the way you look.
A bounce blond one minute and a very respectable brunet the next.
Many women use them with different outfits for a different look.
If you don't have time to get your hair done they can be a god sent.  ;)
Oh, I'm not wearing a wig in my avatar.
Jillieann

I don't have a choice ::)

depending on your hair situation, you can use toupée tape to hold a wig in place.  Or even wig adhesive.  Which does help to make them feel more like it is your hair.

Hi Amy, if u dont mind me asking, where did u get ur's? It does look great...U and I are same age and u do look great...

Quote from: CindyJames on February 03, 2011, 01:36:23 AM
I don't have a choice ::)

Ditto that here, Babes ... sigh.

The dang wigs are THE reason I haven't gone full-time yet.  Besides being uncomfortable and a hassle, you think it's not a transition hassle?  Bet I'll stump you all with this one:

I work out at L.A. Fitness.  In just a few days, I'm 1 year and 2 months on HRT.  Obviously, I'm in major androgyne mode.  Yeah, I had my ears pierced on 9 January 2011, present in guy's pants, watch, cell phone belt case but wear girl's sweaters and girl's low-platform sandal's with an anklet.  Oh, yeah:  Breasts ahoy!  They're nearly B cups now.  Mind you, I MUST wear the wig.

Okay, crew:

How the sam hell do I use the ladies' locker room at L.A. Fitness without freaking out the biobabes?  Remember, I'm sweating like heck under the wig, must change clothes, use the restroom, etcetera.  While I'm still using the guys' locker room, it's an uptight scene ... bad vibes.  No hassles ... yet.  My wearing gals body mists and fragrances isn't helping either ... in there.  Gotta get outta there, but how?  Bet I've stumped you with this one!

Anyway, I see "The Reidster" (Portland's Best Gender Therapist) in 5 weeks to document my starting RLE/RLT to proceed toward my SRS/GRS letter and to get a carry letter.  Yeah, I'm going full-time in April 2011.  Still don't know WHAT I'm gonna do about L.A. Fitness and the ladies' locker room!

HELP!  ANY IDEAS?  TELL ME!

???   Lacey

Lacey some of bio-girls have to wear wigs too.
My wife even has the blading pattern.
If you just act natural about it I don't think it will be a real problem in the women's locker room.
If anyone ask just say, "It runs in the family."

But please Lacey get out of the men's locker room.
For your own health that is.
Hugs,
Jillieann

I agree the wigs can be a pain, especially if you are dancing with a guy who puts his arm around your neck, touching the wig, which begins sliding back and off your head and you're trying to surreptitiously pull it back into place without drawing attention ...

I just had a wig breakthrough!

I didn't want to take it off this morning - I have learned to love the wig.

Quote from: MarinaM on February 12, 2011, 12:59:35 PM
I just had a wig breakthrough!

I didn't want to take it off this morning - I have learned to love the wig.

Marina:

The wig you have on is great!  Where did you get it, if I may kindly as you?  Thanks!

:)   Lacey

Quote from: Lacey Lynne on February 12, 2011, 02:20:46 PM
Marina:

The wig you have on is great!  Where did you get it, if I may kindly as you?  Thanks!

:)   Lacey

I visit a lovely asian couple that run a beauty salon in the neighborhood where I grew up. I spent a couple hours in the store, went through five different styles, discussed one that would frame the face, curl around the neck, de-accentuate my "Pam Grier" jaw. I ended up with this one.

I believe the brand is Oscar K (not the best, I'm afraid): the caveat: it's shiny, not for those that are way, way, way, picky about their hair. If you like to keep your hair very neat it will betray you with it's unreal barbie-like tidiness. I just let it go all over, get it in my face, whatever. I look oddly punk / prom from time to time.

It was only thirty dollars (cheap wig= not for everybody).

I can't do wigs either. I really wish I could because I pass really well in one but idk, just haven't put one on that I like yet.

Letting my hair grow in the meantime and I have an amazing hat collection now! Up to 26 different hats for any occasion!

I was feeling particularly dysphoric this morning, after a work colleague's send-off last night where all the women were dressed up and I was in drab, so I strapped my tits on, put on the make up and  rode the motorcycle  down to Melbourne to go shopping in Chapel Street. (Top retail strip in Melb, and there are no "normal people" there either. :o )

I ended up buying two wigs, one a full bob tyle, and the other a fringe and sides. Both are a really close match to my current hair colour, and look good.  I am wearing the half one now as it is really comfortable and actually keeps my own unruly hair under control.  It attaches with 3 toupe' clips and stayed on, unmoved through three motorcycle helmet removals, which was my real worry.  Once I had it on, I don't believe anyone read me as other than an "aging bikie mole"  :laugh:

It was recommended that I not worry about keeping them completely clean,as this would get rid of the shiny, plastic look.  Dry shampoo spray is apparently good for this too.   if I have trouble with keeping them on, I was also advised to try the special double-sided wig tape along the front.


Have fun! Sandra.

Yes wigs were my last hurdle to going full time/female mode. I had gotten to where I was really feminine/andro but couldn't figure out the whole hair thing. I have mega MPB and have for 25 years so no other realistic option for me. I was wearing cute caps but wasn't very convincing. The few wigs I had tried over the years were all uncomfortable and itchy, plus would give me a headache when worn for a long time. I thought I would never be able to do this..

I finally found a brand that fits my head and is comfortable. It took a while of trying different styles and colors before I found one that suits how I want to look. Sure in hot weather they are hot but really not as bad as a cap is (which I wore for years as I was transitioning during my andro look days) so just got used to that part of it. I think your body acclimates to them?  I also found they look better after they are used some so I break one in around the house. I rotate them around, have one I use when out in public and then save the ones when they get worn out frizzy looking for doing yard work or lounging around the house etc to make the "nice" one last longer. These I use last about 1-2 months in "public use" everyday and cost about $65 when they are on sale. I guess these are "disposable" type :P I buy like 6 or so when they have a 30% off sale from the web site I get them from so shipping is free too. Maybe it's not perfect but nether am I so at some point we just have to accept this is good enough. I really feel other parts of me are more clockable than my hair and I never feel self conscious about that part of me. Do I wish I had real hair? Of course but I also wish I had been born female and am working past that too!

My MPB is very, very early, compared to photos from HS. But I was born with a hairline that would barely pass. Still, I'm growing it out to chin length at least.

The problem I am having is coming up with a professional guy look at the in-between length I am dealing with right now.

During my CD days I ended up with about 20 wigs, but now that I am transitioning, I only use about 3 of them, all in the same color.  (See avatar pic) I do look very pretty with the wigs, and am basically happy, because my own hair is so darn fine and straight that its hard to do much with, and I think I have hit final length at just the bottom of the collar.  I recently did get an "integrating hair piece" that is a wiglet with wide spaces in it to pull your own hair through, and it feels much different from any other wigs that I have ever used.  I get so much of my own hair through it that its hard to take off.  Some night I may even try sleeping with it on.  The one I have is by Revlon and is just the barest shade lighter than my own hair, so it looks like I have more highlights than I usually do, and the gray strands I naturally have just blend in. I don't have a picture of me in it yet since its quite new, but when I get one I'll show off.