Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've heard a lot of "Telling your wife" stuff and being a married transwoman, but what about the other way around? You don't hear about that much, if ever.

Why not?

There are some FTM here on Susans that were or are married to men from before transition. I imagine one of them will be along eventually.

I know a guy who told his husband and while they remained friends, it ultimately resulted in a divorce because his husband just wasn't gay. They are still friends though.

Mine couldn't hear anything he didn't want to. I'm single for many reasons and that is only one reason.

I have a (male) partner from before transition. We are still together.

I just don't post about it much, because it doesn't come up where it would be relevant.

I got lucky because my partner is a pretty flexible guy.  However, we've been together since we were quite young so I probably didn't tell him in the most mature way...

I told him that "I want[ed] a penis" and he imagined a body similar to a pre-operative trans woman.  He said, "I'm cool with that".  When he later found out that I'd most likely have a body completely opposite from that, he said the same thing.

I think that most heterosexual identified men would have a bit of a problem with finding out their "wife" is trans, so all I can say is to tread carefully.

Sorry I don't have an better advice! Just make sure he understands that it's very important to you.

have a little bit of that issue, but he took the first talks nicely and doesn't mind me expressing myself (much).
then again he first thought i was a guy when we meet, so it surely didn't hit him too hard... but still, long way to go.

kinda the other way round for me, i told my girlfriend i'm a guy when we started dating, then came out as pre-op ftm way later, and everything went fine...she's a wonderful person and doesn't even care

I came out to my current partner relatively early in our "dating" period.
We're happily married at the moment.

My partner, a cis-gender male knew from the beginning that I identified differently (gender-wise) than most biological women. He was quite ignorant to knowing things about Trans-gender people. I do not believe it was from lack of caring or understanding (he understood very well when I started to tell him) it was mostly that he had never known anyone who was TG and in his country there is less emphasis on a clear line between the binaries and more acceptance for LGBT people.

He was a little uneasy at first, since he identifies as heterosexual (though a short time back he was thinking about it and out of the blue said to me "maybe I should say I'm hetero-flexible, since I'm with you?"). I was kind of flabbergasted because that makes me feel like he's really in for the "long haul". He says a lot about "Someday when you start taking hormones..." or "If you decided to get this surgery or that one" and then he will ask some sort of hormone or surgery related question.

We've been together for almost 2 years now, and while it's a long-distance relationship, I'm insanely happy even with the few ups and downs we've had along the way. I'm not sure if he was ever this open-minded before we met but I think that meeting me has really done a great deal for him, he's been opened to so many things he never would have known or had anything to do with if he hadn't met me.

Although my wife is not FTM ze is female androgyn. Alot of the issues are the same as the FTM issues.
Ze never had to tell me ze was going to transition. I knew it. (I expected hir to eventualy come out as FTM...not androgyn.) When ze finally came out as androgyn I was somewhat confused but not exactly surprissed.

I was opposed to hir taking testosterone but I knew that ze had to try it. For us the big coming out for hir was when ze had to tell me that T was woking wonders for hir sanity. Which again, I did not need to be told. I could see the evidence right infront of me. I knew it was working.

Quote from: Phate on February 06, 2011, 02:06:19 PM
My partner, a cis-gender male knew from the beginning that I identified differently (gender-wise) than most biological women. He was quite ignorant to knowing things about Trans-gender people. I do not believe it was from lack of caring or understanding (he understood very well when I started to tell him) it was mostly that he had never known anyone who was TG and in his country there is less emphasis on a clear line between the binaries and more acceptance for LGBT people.

He was a little uneasy at first, since he identifies as heterosexual (though a short time back he was thinking about it and out of the blue said to me "maybe I should say I'm hetero-flexible, since I'm with you?"). I was kind of flabbergasted because that makes me feel like he's really in for the "long haul". He says a lot about "Someday when you start taking hormones..." or "If you decided to get this surgery or that one" and then he will ask some sort of hormone or surgery related question.

We've been together for almost 2 years now, and while it's a long-distance relationship, I'm insanely happy even with the few ups and downs we've had along the way. I'm not sure if he was ever this open-minded before we met but I think that meeting me has really done a great deal for him, he's been opened to so many things he never would have known or had anything to do with if he hadn't met me.

My boyfriend and I were long distance too :'P. He now lives over there :'D *pointing across the street*

Anyway, I knew my boyfriend before I even came out to myself :'P. We dated like 2 months under 2 years before I finally came out to him XP. His reaction was "...God, you really are the man in this relationship." I felt loved :'D. He insisted he was still straight though, despite staying with me. That was a month and a half of severe insecurity @_@. Being long distance at the time didn't help at all! D:< Then he finally came out with being bisexual. He was so lucky he was 300 miles away or I would've chased him down the street with a stick! D:< So after the initial 30 seconds of anger I told him it was cool :'P. We talked about the future of our relationship all night and figured there was no reason to break up :'D. We were just a gay relationship now. We are a freak of nature convenient case XP.

I have had a "had to tell a boyfriend" situation.  I told him that I think I am Transgendered and he was at first in shock because I "hid it" so well.  So far I have not made any changes yet but he has been very supportive.  Though I am afraid that that will change once I physically start to transition.  He is straight and I do not believe he has any gay tendencies but maybe/hopefully he will surprise me.  If not then I know we were not right for each other in the end.