Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today I started to go to the monster truck jam thing but they sold out of tickets so me my cousin, her husband and four children went to Chuckee Cheese. I had to pee really bad but their was no unisex or single room bathroom so after arguing with the the guy who refuses to let under 18 year olds out without a parent I walked over to Toys R Us. There wasn't very many people in there because it was almost closing time so I walked into the mens room. It looked empty so I walked into the stall and noticed there was a guy in the stall next to mine. I didn't really care that much so I pulled my pants down and hovered over the toilet but I couldn't go to the bathroom. I was too nervous. That guy left the bathroom and I decided to just sit down and try to go, well then another guy walked in to use the urinal and I couldn't go and I was really starting to panic. I stayed in there for about 5 to 7 minutes and couldn't go because I was so nervous. When that guy left a woman who worked there asked him if there was anyone else in there and he said "yes" so I just sat there for a little longer and another guy walked in. I gave it up after he left and just walked out and had to hold my bladder for another 2 hours. I started crying in Chuckee cheese when I went back in because I REALLY had to pee and I was angry at myself for not going. This probably doesn't make sense because I typed it fast. I'm not asking a question but I had to get this out.

Just because you can stand, doesn't mean you have too. A lot of guys chose to sit.

Don't worry, it's normal.  But guy's won't notice or care.  They go in their to piss and that's it.  But at least you went in.  So next time it'll be easier.  Then easier after that.  And so on and forth until your completely comfortable with it.  So don't feel bad.  Something kinda similar happened to me last year.  I was on a road-trip with my family and had to go.  So I was heading to the girl's bathroom when a lady stopped me and said the boy's bathroom was behind me.  I was so embarrassed I just went back to the car without peeing.  I couldn't correct the lady because that felt wrong, but I couldn't use the men's because of my family.  It was pretty terrible and I had to sit there and desperately hold my tears in.

So don't worry about it  :)  It happens to everyone.

It gets easier Kentrie. You managed the worst thing by going in there, don't be hard on yourself about it.

FWIW I'm post lower surgery and mostly I sit to pee in the stall.  I have discovered lots of guys sit. 


Jay

I went in the mens bathroom before at a hospital in Kentucky and I was just as nervous that time. I was scared to even go in there. This time I just went straight back, opened the boys bathroom door and just walked in, I didn't feel scared this time about going in there. I wasn't even that scared that there was a guy next to me. I was just like "He sounds busy so I doubt he'll notice" I just couldn't pee though. I can't pee outside either. My bladder refuses to relieve itself.

Quote from: Kentrie on February 06, 2011, 11:51:56 AM
I went in the mens bathroom before at a hospital in Kentucky and I was just as nervous that time. I was scared to even go in there. This time I just went straight back, opened the boys bathroom door and just walked in, I didn't feel scared this time about going in there. I wasn't even that scared that there was a guy next to me. I was just like "He sounds busy so I doubt he'll notice" I just couldn't pee though. I can't pee outside either. My bladder refuses to relieve itself.

Don't worry, genetic guys have the same problem sometimes. It's hard to pee when you know someone is watching!

I know how you feel. I want to use the men's but I'm scared. I'm going to force myself next time.
Every time I use the women's I get stares and people call me out to tell me I'm in the wrong room. So I'm going to try to suck it up and use the mens.

I have the same problem with taking a piss knowing other people are around. I once stood at a urinal for a while even though I had to go so bad. I just get so anxious :/ at work it's better since we have to wear ear plugs so I keep them in when I use the washroom so I can't hear anyone coming in or whatever. Just try to focus on something else, bring your phone out and text or play a game or something.

I can relate to that feeling.  I've been using the men's room since I started college and it still sometimes takes me 10 minutes just to pee.

If you're worried about people noticing that you're sitting in the stall, (which they probably won't; it seems to be taboo for guys to acknowledge each other at all in bathrooms) stay in there for a minute or two after you're done to give the impression that you're taking a dump.  It does get easier, just keep trying and you'll be fine.

Kentrie, I have the same problem. I'm extremely bladder shy. I can't go when someone is in the bathroom in public places. I also get worried about going in the men's room and sitting b/c men usually stand, but I've been told a lot of guys sit too. But still, I know having to sit makes it way more uncomfortable to go in the men's room. But my friend who's a guy told me guys do sit. But I'm sure you know the sound will be different when you sit. I'd bring something to pee through so it sounds like a guy peeing.

Sorry you had issues, man. I can't always muster up the nuts to use the mens either. This thread sounds like an ad for "why you need an STP." If I can't find a gender neutral bathroom in those situations, and you're getting desperate, I know it's kinda gross but isn't that why there are bushes, trees, dumpsters....you know, to pee behind. That is one of my favorite reasons to STP--convenience. Of course I live in a rural area which makes it easier. Hope this wasn't TMI! (too much information) Good luck anyways.

I can't pee outside because that's impossible for me to do to. I can pee if I go into gthe womens bathroom because that's what I'm used to. The men in there knew I was in there cause one of them told the cleaning woman but none of them stopped just to see what I was doing. I was standing there thinking "I bet they think wtf? when they don't hear me peeing but I'm standing up with my pants pulled all the way to the ground. Do men pull their pants all the way down? And, my feet were a little bit on the side of the toilet so would that seem suspicious that I wasn't standing back a little?

Quote from: Kentrie on February 06, 2011, 06:30:16 PM
Do men pull their pants all the way down?

Usually no, that's what the lil flaps in boxers are for! I have seen it though, but most likely no one was paying any attention to you.

I don't have a penis so the fly is of no use :/ Who usually pulls their pants all the way down?

Well, no one really 'usually' does it, but no one is going to really look or notice.

I have just checked with my mtf wife who, of course used to be a guy. She says that you would be safe to just sit down in the stall. Drop your pants all the way to the floor (to the best of her recollection, vs just below the knees for girls). It's okay to sit down because that is what men do to take a dump, and then they often have to pee at the same time. No one is going to keep track of whether you have actually taken a dump. Or, as someone else suggested, you could use a peeing device (STP, or sometimes called FUD) and then you would stand in the stall, with your feet back from the toilet. She says she sometimes used the stall for peeing (only) if the urinal was crowded. And then there is my son who says he always sits to pee; just prefers it.

Good luck.

  I'm MTF but this is relevant to me because I had bathroom issues where I work; We all have to face this sooner or later. Rest assured that the more you use the correct bathroom, the easier it will be.

  Guys, generally speaking, don't see the bathroom as a social situation. They walk in, do their business and walk out... the less they have to think about what anyone else is doing, the better. Even during the 35 years I spent presenting as a guy I seldom used a urinal.. I always preferred a stall, even just to pee.... no one ever gave me a second look. The best plan is to never make eye contact and, if you do, just nod quickly and slightly... never smile at another guy in the mens' room.

  Transition rule #5.... You will frequently perceive that others are paying more attention to you than they really are. Rule#6.... Repeat rule #5. ;-)  It will be easier next time.

actually theres really nothing to be nervous bout just walk in (no eye contact) go into the stall, pee and get out. guys dont notice, thought they might think you nhave a small weiner

I don't care if they think I have a small penis, I just don't want them to know I have a vagina. I'll just stick to one room bathrooms. I can only pee in a mens bathroom if it's just only one room with one toilet or urinal. I can pee in a urinal if it comes up to below my parts. I did it at a pool in the workout room bathroom.

Your first experience sounds exactly like my first experience being in a men's room.  I was terrified and just couldn't do it.     

First time in my life I had that problem.  I was actually trying to pee through a medicine spoon and that's tricky at the best of times.  I was just so worried about wetting my pants.   

Now I'm much better.  I still can't pee in a urinal but using the stall isn't a problem.  You will get there, don't worry.  There is no reason to put to much pressure on yourself.  Everything comes in time. 

I used the men's bathroom for the first time the other day. Granted there was nobody in there but I was still nervous as hell. But its really not that bad. I just didn't look around and went into the first stall I saw. I've talked to other guys and I know a few who prefer to sit so It doesn't really bother me. I do want an stp though. But for now I don't see it as a big deal.

Quote from: JessicaR on February 06, 2011, 09:37:22 PMThe best plan is to never make eye contact and, if you do, just nod quickly and slightly... never smile at another guy in the mens' room.

This. It's really quite amazing how different men and women's social habits are in bathrooms (or lack thereof).  Men do not typically linger around in the bathroom and have conversations.  They get in, get out, and get on with life whereas women chat with their friends, mess around with their makeup and hair, etc. 

Anyways....I personally sit to pee and I never have any problems....honestly if you're quick about things you can drop your pants, pee, and pull your pants back on in the same amount of time as a dude going at the urinal (TRUTH). 

Don't be afraid is my bottom line and in the rare case that some dude DOES ask nosy questions, just ask why the hell they were watching/listening/whatever.  But it's not a big deal IMO.

If it helps I was watching a youtube video about this one FTM, and he had this fake penis thing that he used to pee standing up  :P

I'm sorry, but do women talk to each other in bathrooms? I've never seen this. Women who are friends or something may talk to each other (it seems they don't want to stop the discussion even when someone needs to pee), but random women don't talk to each other, no eye contact, barely acknowledging each other. Then again, I'm from Sweden, where we're kind of iffy about making contact with people.

I've never been to the gent's, so I can't give you any info on that place.

Quote from: PixieBoy on February 10, 2011, 12:10:13 AM
I'm sorry, but do women talk to each other in bathrooms? I've never seen this. Women who are friends or something may talk to each other (it seems they don't want to stop the discussion even when someone needs to pee), but random women don't talk to each other, no eye contact, barely acknowledging each other. Then again, I'm from Sweden, where we're kind of iffy about making contact with people.

I've never been to the gent's, so I can't give you any info on that place.

In my experiences women are faaaar more likely to try to make eye contact (and smile at you).  It's a little odd to be honest.  But everything else you said is true for my experiences as well.

I've had women I've never met before start up conversations in the bathroom.  It's...beyond weird.  I've never had an issue with using the mens while sitting down before, though.  As has been said, it seems like other guys are just there to do their business and leave.