Susan's Place Transgender Resources

About four years ago, I placed an ad in a magazine looking for others that shared my interest as a MtF person. I received a lot of letters, but they were more from straight people. Then last February I received a letter from a guy who told me that he is very honest and that he just loves MtF people, so we started corresponding. After awhile, he found that he was falling in love with me and by November he proposed to me to be his wife, and I accepted.  :) So I became Mrs. Gina A. Berryman and so on Novevember 6 of this year will be our first anniversary.  :)He's serving time for bank robbery and he'll be getting out around 2010. But if you're wondering how we got married, that was done by exchanging of wedding gifts. But the sweetest thing he did was for my birthday. I received a Teddy Bear and a berry cented gel candle that cost him $45.00, and it arrived on my birthday! We decided to name the Teddy Bear  Jersey. I recieve a letter from him almost every day and I've recieved four photos of him.


Gina

Gina, hon.

I'm not quite sure how to put this and I don't think anybody else does judging from the lack of responses to your post so I'll just be blunt. Have you lost your ever loving mind? Honest people don't rob banks! This guy is in prison, he'll say anything. Exchanging gifts does not constitute a marriage any more than a teenage boy giving a girl a promise ring or a fraternity pin.

Is this why your in such an all fired hurry to grow breasts without so much as a doctors advice? If your doing this for him then your doing it for the wrong reason. You have to be doing it for yourself not some other person and especially not some prison pen pal. Do you see this person as a way out of your current living situation? Do you think that once he gets out he's going to come and sweep you of your feet and take you away from all your problems? If so, this is a fantasy. Wake up and get back into the real world. This guy is nothing but TROUBLE.

It's your life you have to live it as you see fit but if your expecting congratulations or kudos for finding yourself an understanding guy you won't get it from me. As far as I'm concerned this guy is using you for some as yet unknown nefarious purpose.

Are you seeing a therapist? If so have you discussed this with him/her? I am seriously concerned here for your well being. Warning bells are going off in my head along with a very loud alarm. I don't know how you might extricate yourself from this situation but you can bet this guy is dangerous. If you decide to break it off be very careful how you do it.

You are perfectly within your right to tell me to back off and mind my own beeswax. I won't take offence. You posted here so you must have wanted someones opinion and I have given it. Maybe you just wanted to tell someone in which case I have told you more than you wanted to here. It's just my opinion. Take it or leave it.


Cassie

Gina,

Hon, I have to agree with Cassie.  More importantly, I am really, really concerned about your physical safety and well being!

Bank robbery relies on the threat of violence and the willingness to us it.  To survive in prison, you have to be willing to continue the violence.  I am worried that you will become a battered woman, an abused wife and a terrible statistic.

We're saying these things because we love you, and we don't want anything bad to happen to you.

It's your life, and you have a right to live it any way you choose.  But please, please, please ...  Think this through very, very carefully.

Your sister,
Chaunte

Thanks for your replies.

My husband is a bank robber, but he's never used a gun. He walks in and hands the teller a note and proceeds from there.

No, I haven't lost my mind. He's been very sweet to me. I had thought of our exchanging wedding gifts like a teenage boy giving a a girl a promise ring or a fraternity pin. But he does wear the gift proudly.


No this is not the reason that I want to grow breats in a fired hurry. It's alwasy been a desire for me. I've been on this journey longer than I've known my husband for. To recap, I have spoken with my GP and my psychaitrist and they both told me that they do not know much about transsexualism, so that is why I have decided to take matters into my own hands, and have been trying to find the best way for breast development.

No I do not see this person as a way out  of my present living situation. Right now we're just corresponding , but he is making plans for us. Right from the start he's told me that he's very honest and sincere, and that he'd never hurt me and that he'd potect me. He's in love with me, and that really means alot to me.  :) He's actuually written two very sincere letters to my mother, but becaue of his present situation, she won't overlook that.

I know that due to the curcumstances that I wasn't going to be congradulated for being married to a convict, but he still is a human being. I've gone over the possibilty that he may be using me, but there has never been amy pressure in our relationship. he asks for things, but only on the contingingcies that I can afford it. If I can't it's no problem.

I have spoken about him with my  therapist, and she saw no problem. She actually suggested that maybe I should go and meet him in person, before making a commitment to him.

Thanks for your concern, but I feel safe with the choices that I've made.

Gina

Gina,

Ted Bundy was handsome, charming and all of his victims had told there friends how honest and sensitive he was. Now he is dead but not before becoming the most infamous serial killer of women in the 20th century.

Someone who is in prison for bank robbery did not make a mistake, it's their profession. What do you think this guy is going to do when he gets out in 2010, work at McDonalds? And what about the cost of your transition. You're single, in the real world, everything you earn you can spend on your transition. Which will cost you about as much as a Lexus or Mercedes by time all is said and done. How is he going to take to this? How will he contribute.

I can see the scenario now.

"Wait here honey while I just run into this bank to cash a check." Next thing you know your doing 10 to 20 as an accomplice to a bank robbery, or worse. The notes he passes contain threats. The bank is not going to fork over money just because someone comes in and say's could you please hand me all the money in your cash drawer.

He used a note because an actual gun would have gotten him a longer sentence if he got caught which he did. If he is a two time looser or becomes one then the third time he will definetely use a gun because a third time is mandatory life. He will take you down with him.

But it's your life. Seems you have given some thought to the matter and I will not caution you further. I hope the best for you and that everything turns out okay. But, I seriously have my doubts.

Good Journey.


Cassie

Quote from: gina_taylor on September 03, 2005, 03:19:40 AM

  Right from the start he's told me that he's very honest 

An honest bank robber, what a novel concept!  That is right up there with military intelligence.

sorry gina

i find it kinda funny not at ur story but at something similiar that happen to be. Though during the time it wasn't funny. i was at my bank desposting my check. when a guy push his way up beside me. he grab me around the throat with his let arm at the same time pull out a gun with his right. and start screaming for everyone to get down. everyone hit the floor. i didn't hear nothing else except the feeling of the gun press to my head. i didn't know how but i manage to get a glance of the gun. i remember that i owning a bb gun or air gun...forgot now...that look alot like that one. i didn't exactly remember what happen afterward but the thought of "it not a real gun" repeating over and over in my head.the next thing i know he was screaming in pain in his pool of blood. everyone told me that i broke his left hand. and also broke his nose and kick him in the crotch. it turn out to be fake like i had thought. afterward i heard him saying to the police that it was just a toy gun and that he was just joking around.

well i sure as hell didn't fine it funny.

Hey Nicole,

That sounds very traumatic, and I'm really sorry to hear that you had to have went through it. Something like that can repeat itself in your mind forever.

But I'm really glad that you were able to defend yourself and that he was apprehended by the police. Even though it was a fake gun , he still endangered the lives of others including yourself. But like I've said before, my husband has never used a gun when he robbed banks. He always walks in and hands the teller a note and proceeds from there. I've seen some of the recent police reports and there is no mention of any weapon. He doesn't like the use of guns. He's told me that if he were to see anyone posing any harm to me or my family he would stop them even if it meant going back to jail.

Gina

Hi Gina,

There are some very scary undertones to your posts. Please be careful and think carefully about what you are saying. I say this only for your good.

Shelley

Gina:  I'm afraid that I have to agree with the other posts.

Please be very careful - both for your physical as well as mental well being.

It is very easy for someone to tell you whatever they want while on-line, but the reality of one on one interactions is very different.

Please talk to another counselor about this before you make any decisions that could have very negative impacts on your life.

Anne

Gina you said:

But like I've said before, my husband has never used a gun when he robbed banks. He always walks in and hands the teller a note and proceeds from there. I've seen some of the recent police reports and there is no mention of any weapon.

How many banks has he robbed?????  Good Lord!!!!  I truly hope this is a joke and you're going to tell us that you're kidding.

You also mentioned that you have NOT actually face to face MET him yet.  Is that true?  Listen I don't know you well, but if that, along with everything else is true then you REALLY need a new therapist because HE isn't the one wth the issues here.  Any therapist worth his weight would eat right through this one.

Also, could someone please tell me how to do the quote thing in the purple box.  I havn't quite figured that one out yet.

I've moved the answers to this question to the Help & Howto's Forum found here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,1141.0.html

Gina,

I was reading through this thread, agreeing very much with alot of what everyone as told you so far. Do you understand, thast the mind of a con, the mind of a theif, the mind of a liar....is always the same? Do you undertstand the motivation for even "non-violent" crimes? Mostly it's about power, control and maniuplation...

And from the sounds of it, he's got you so well manipulated and blinded by bull**** that you're in alot of danger.

What gives us the right to judge someone we have NEVER MET, NEVER INTERACTED WITH and hell for that matter basically know NOTHING of.

One would think that we, given that we are stereotypically judged by those who do not understand, would not be so quick to judge based on such little understanding.

Excellent and well taken point Kimberly.  However, this is a scenario that has been played out WAY too many times.  Criminals taking advantage of women?  Please, it's one of the oldest tricks in the book.  Though none of us can predict the future, the only way to come close is to look at past history.  Odds makers do it all the time in betting.  By reading the previous posts we can see that he has made a life of robbing, deceiving and lying to people.  Could this time be different?  Sure.  Is it possible that he could be an honest and sincere person?  Absolutely.  Is it likely?  No.

Let's assume your daughter comes home with this story of how she met and married her husband.  Are you going to say "oh that's great and terrific.  I'll look forward to meeting him in 2010."?  I don' think so.  Are we quick to judge?  Yes.  Should we be?  Probably not.  Are we giving some good advice?  You betcha!!

I would agree with you Kimberley on not being quick to judge. But you said:

QuoteOne would think that we, given that we are stereotypically judged

This is comparing apples to oranges. We are judged based on preconceived notions. I think everyone here is basing their judgement on criminal statistics. Big difference. As Brenda pointed out.

Quotehe has made a life of robbing, deceiving and lying to people.

Some of us may have been less than forthcoming with our spouses but I hardly think his activity could compare.

Just my additional two cents.

Cassie

Quote from: Kimberly on October 01, 2005, 09:51:59 PMWhat gives us the right to judge someone we have NEVER MET, NEVER INTERACTED WITH and hell for that matter basically know NOTHING of.

One would think that we, given that we are stereotypically judged by those who do not understand, would not be so quick to judge based on such little understanding.

I'm all in favor of giving someone a chance and not judging them on their past, but let's have some common sense here.  It's my guess that nobody here was saying drop the guy completely, but just take it a little bit slower.

If I knew someone who was going to move in with a SO they've only dated for a month, that would be crazy.  But to say you're married to someone whom you've never met, when this person is currently serving time for bank robbery... that's just freaking insane!!!

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 01, 2005, 10:13:13 PM...
However, this is a scenario that has been played out WAY too many times.  Criminals taking advantage of women?  Please, it's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
...

If criminals were stamped out with a cookie cutter I would be alarmed, but they are not. Without knowing the motive I cannot see how we can accurately judge.

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 01, 2005, 10:13:13 PM...
Though none of us can predict the future, the only way to come close is to look at past history.  Odds makers do it all the time in betting.
...

We can assume based on statistics yes, however isn't it prudent not to assume anything?

Sure, be very cautious but you should already be that... regardless of the past of the person you are interested in.

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 01, 2005, 10:13:13 PM...
By reading the previous posts we can see that he has made a life of robbing, deceiving and lying to people.
...

Robbing yes. Deceiving and lying to people? Probably, by necessity.

Does this mean this person is an mean evil bad voodoo doll? ... Not as I see it, such things are done by others, granted usually "legally" But only because some of them make the laws too. This, of course, does not make it "right", but many things are not. Should I damn someone because they have done something I do not approve of without first understanding why they have done this thing?

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 01, 2005, 10:13:13 PM...
Let's assume your daughter comes home with this story of how she met and married her husband.  Are you going to say "oh that's great and terrific.  I'll look forward to meeting him in 2010."?  I don' think so.
...

First we have to assume I have children at all. I'd want to know why she has done what she has done. In essence, to check her logic, and I would want to talk to him. Surprise surprise that is exactly what I'd do for anyone else.

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 01, 2005, 10:13:13 PM...
Are we quick to judge?  Yes.  Should we be?  Probably not.  Are we giving some good advice?  You betcha!!

I have never once said the advice was poor.
I question more the right and wisdom of judgment given the circumstances.


For example to twist the given situation a bit, what do you do when your daughter comes home and announces she is married to a *shudder* 'trans person'... I mean, they are ... eeeew. ... Which, we know is inaccurate (to say the least), but the concept is the same. They judge us without understanding, yet we turn right around and judge others the same. ... I think we should be careful of that.

Quote from: Cassandra on October 01, 2005, 11:22:28 PM
I would agree with you Kimberley on not being quick to judge. But you said:

This is comparing apples to oranges. We are judged based on preconceived notions. I think everyone here is basing their judgement on criminal statistics. Big difference. As Brenda pointed out.

Some of us may have been less than forthcoming with our spouses but I hardly think his activity could compare.

Just my additional two cents.

Cassie

Apples to oranges perhaps, however I was referring to how people who believe in a binary gender idea judge us who do not fit into such a definition. We are judged without understanding. This seems relevant and a fair comparison to me.

Quote from: AmyNYC on October 02, 2005, 12:34:32 PM...
I'm all in favor of giving someone a chance and not judging them on their past, but let's have some common sense here.  It's my guess that nobody here was saying drop the guy completely, but just take it a little bit slower.
...

That I can agree with, though I would say a lot slower. However, I think things should progress slowly for any life long commitment. Transition very much included by the by.

Quote from: AmyNYC on October 02, 2005, 12:34:32 PM...
If I knew someone who was going to move in with a SO they've only dated for a month, that would be crazy.
...

I actually think that happens often enough to not be noteworthy. I am not certain though and undoubtedly it would depend on a few things.

Regardless, in my opinion, it is not that crazy of a thought. What better way to figure out if the person you are interested in is really who you think they are? I do not really like the idea, but I do find it both prudent and practical.

Quote from: AmyNYC on October 02, 2005, 12:34:32 PM...
But to say you're married to someone whom you've never met,
...

Depends on the culture and the circumstances. Beliefs too for that matter.

Quote from: AmyNYC on October 02, 2005, 12:34:32 PM...
when this person is currently serving time for bank robbery...
...

We have no idea of the motive. How can one even pretend to understand someone when they don't know why someone did something?

Thanks Kimberly for your heartfelt concern.

I've been corresponding with Tony since February and I've really gotten to know him as he's really gotten to know me, and I'm very happy with him as he is with me. We're looking forward to our anniversary in November. He's told me  that he's going to be sending me a lovely anniversary card and a photo of himself. Things are going really well for us, and he gets out in five years.

Gina

Five years is a long time, good luck.  At least that does give you plenty of time to get to know him real well.

Will you (or have you) ever visit him at the prision?

Sarah

Because he robbed banks in the past we presume to know the person?

I don't know about anyone else, but I do know that I have no clue what kind of a person he is.

This prejudgement - is that not the same as what we go through? Why of all peoples are we so blind to repeat the same stupidity?

QuoteThis is comparing apples to oranges. We are judged based on preconceived notions. I think everyone here is basing their judgement on criminal statistics. Big difference. As Brenda pointed out.

                  i don't see the difference, i agree with Kimberly, you are pre judging him because he is in prison for committing robbery. it doesn't matter if lots of criminals abuse women. this could or could not apply to him. there are men who dress as women to rob banks, so stay away from anyone that may appear to be like that?

beth

             

QuoteIs that not the same as what we go through? Why of all peoples are we so blind to repeat the same stupidity?

The difference is that I/we are productive members of society who have not comitted a crime or as I read what has been posted, crimes!

Quotei don't see the difference, i agree with Kimberly, you are pre judging him because he is in prison for committing robbery.

Do you have any idea what the recidivism rate is of convicted criminals?

Of the 272,111 persons released from prisons in 15 States in 1994, an estimated 67.5% were rearrested for a felony or serious misdemeanor within 3 years, 46.9% were reconvicted, and 25.4% resentenced to prison for a new crime.

The 272,111 offenders discharged in 1994 accounted for nearly 4,877,000 arrest charges over their recorded careers.

Not exactly the profile of a sterling citizen.

unless he is one of the 32.5%



beth

We don't know much about Tony other than he is in prision and has robbed more than one bank.  Is this his first time to prision, or has he been there before?  If it is his first, then maybe he will change, if he has been there before I would worry (not that a good woman can't change a man).

All I can say Gina is Good Luck, I hope for the best to come of it, but you are starting out with two strikes against you.


Sarah

Does he have family and if so what do they have to say about him.
And this may sound like a dumb question has he told you why he robbed the banks. was it just to get money, Or for drug cash, Mabey he was out of a job and broke, Anyway there might be or might not be another problem that he may not of told you. We can give you all the advice in the world, And even more give you all the supprt we can. But its you who makes the choice.
And I truly hope that that 32.5% will go up a notch.

Love,Hugs,and support
Brandi

Kimberly,

I agree with your principal, but the question is, knowing what you know here, would you marry him?

I agree with not judging someone, but the point is that there are MANY other people out there.  Why not try to find someone who hasn't robbed bankS, or been in jail MORE than once (I know that because of the length of time he's in for now).

You have to admit you would look elsewhere and that you would not allow or would discourage a family member from dating or marrying this guy.  And if you don't agree...you're lying.

We are pre judging, but for VERY good reason.

PS  For the record, I still think Gina is going to tell us this is a joke, but it makes for good debating anyway.

Quotethere are men who dress as women to rob banks

They are using it as a disguise to avoid being identified. As soon as they are out the door and down the street they are back to regular clothes. Such a person is not identifying as woman they are merely trying to avoid detection. It is a lie just like this guys notes to bank tellers stating some threat of physical violence if they do not comply.

Bank robbers don't rob banks as a last resort or as some kind of quick fix to temporary money problems. They are professionals. One that does not use force is a professional. Desperate people use guns not well thought well planned methods of intimidation. This guy is a pro. He may be a gentleman about it but he is a pro. I will say it again, no good will come of this.

Is he genuine towards Gina? Perhaps. Bank robbers need love too. Will he rob banks again. Yes, of that I have no doubt. Have I prejudged? Guilty as charged. Am I judgeing him based on preconceived notions? No. I am judging him based on the facts. He wasn't convicted of the posssibility that he might rob a bank he was convicted of robbing a bank.

He was not convicted of what somebody thought he was he was convicted for what he is. This is a big difference from judging somebody on what they look like their sexual preferences or their gender identity. That's how I see it.

Cassie

To me, all of this issues can be boiled down ot one single question:  Does this sound like a viable relationship?

Gina, hon, if you follow the threads you will see that a lot of us have some very serious concerns, both about the relationship and your safety.

I have heard your words that he says that he has never used a gun.

Have you checked hin out?  Have you done your research to see what else he has been convicted of?  It doesn't sound it. 

This man relies on the threat of violence to steal.  Bank tellers hand over money because it is assumed that the robber has a weapon, and the bank is more concerned about the safety of their tellers than the money.  And bank robbery is a mojor crime!  It's not like he stole a tank of gas.  This is the big leagues in terms of felonies.  You can't trust his word in this.

(As an aside to my sisters who may accuse me of jumping the gun, I am basing this on personal experience.)

There are other and better ways to meet people, people who do not have a criminal record.  Please, please, please check some of these out.  The first one that comes to mind is your local church/synagauge (sic).  Many large faiths have support groups for LGBT's.  Odds are that the majority of these people do not spent time on the inside of a prison.

Please listen to us objectively, hon.  We have listened carefully to what you have said.  Please listen to us and at least check this guy out.

Chaunte

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 04, 2005, 09:26:55 PM...
knowing what you know here, would you marry him?
...

No, and neither would I marry anyone else whose name and occupation are the only things I know of them.

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 04, 2005, 09:26:55 PM...
but the point is that there are MANY other people out there.
...

My point has nothing to do with the amount of people out there ;)

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 04, 2005, 09:26:55 PM...
You have to admit you would look elsewhere and that you would not allow or would discourage a family member from dating or marrying this guy.
...

You are partially correct. My methods of finding a mate are different.

What makes you think I think I have a right to dictate what my child does (once they have proven that they are indeed competent) ? Recall that I previously answered that I would want to check my daughter's logic. That would be a check of the competency.

Flip side, who has the right to tell me that I am wrong in falling in love with a criminal? Who has a right to bar me from marrying who I wish?  My life, my decisions. No one else has a right to dictate to me how I should live my life, nor why. Why on earth would I want to start running my child's life?

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 04, 2005, 09:26:55 PM...
And if you don't agree...you're lying.
...

Are you so sure of that?

Kimberly; I realize that five years is a long time to wait, but considering that I've waited thirty seven years to find the right love, five years is nothing.

Chaunte; Tony has never been convicted of anything else except for bank robbery. But I do appreciate your concern. This is also his first conviction and in regards to what Brandi had said, we have talked about this that he deffinately doesn't want to go back, so he's going to stay clean now that he has a better life ahead of himself with me.  :)

As for his immedaite family, they have deserted him except for his father and in a recent letter he told me that I am his only family except for his father. I felt very touched by those words.

I honestly think that I cna change him into a better person once he's back into society and we can live a good life together. He wants to live in Mexico.

Thanks Sarah Louise for your vote of confidence in us.

Gina

QuoteTony has never been convicted of anything else except for bank robbery.

A conviction does not mean that this is the only time he has done anything only the first time the prosecutors were able to get a conviction. Heck in 10 years I've only had one speeding ticket, but I've never seen a speed limit sign I couldn't exceed.

Cassie

Quote from: Cassandra on October 06, 2005, 05:21:22 PM
Heck in 10 years I've only had one speeding ticket, but I've never seen a speed limit sign I couldn't exceed.

Cassie

Ok, pull over, let me see your hands, and step away from the car.  :)  As a school bus driving instructor I have to frown... consider yourself frowned upon.  :)

Steph

Kimberly,

You're trying hard to play the "I don't judge people" game.  The truth is we ALL judge in one way or another.  Some more drastically than others, but we all do it.

You're right you don't have the "right" to tell your adult children who to date.  I'll tell you though even with mature, responsible adult children there is no way I would simply listen to the logic and say "ok, I support you".  When you have children it's a life long commitment to watch out for their best interest.  Even adults do stupid things if you let them.

Bottom line.  We are going in circles and I've said my peace.

Gina, you said:

Quotemy husband has never used a gun when he robbed banks. He always walks in and hands the teller a note and proceeds from there.

If he has robbed one bank then why did you say BANKS?

Exactly, the plural tense is mentioned MANY times in that sentence.  It just doesn't all add up.  Something is certainly missing from the story.

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 06, 2005, 03:38:44 PM...
Kimberly; I realize that five years is a long time to wait, but considering that I've waited thirty seven years to find the right love, five years is nothing.
...

Five years is typically either a very short time or an eternity.

How did I get drug into time discussions though?

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 06, 2005, 08:20:13 PM...
You're trying hard to play the "I don't judge people" game.  The truth is we ALL judge in one way or another.  Some more drastically than others, but we all do it.
...

I don't believe I have said I do not judge people. I judge people all the time, sometimes fairly sometimes not. However, I do try and keep prejudices very far out of it.

Prejudices are my point by the way. Saying this man is bad because he is a criminal is like saying he is bad because he is trans, or purple, or perhaps like little puffy clouds. The point is "criminal" is not enough of a reason (because it tells you next to nothing about the person) to discount someone.

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 06, 2005, 08:20:13 PM...
You're right you don't have the "right" to tell your adult children who to date.  I'll tell you though even with mature, responsible adult children there is no way I would simply listen to the logic and say "ok, I support you".  When you have children it's a life long commitment to watch out for their best interest.
...

Children are a life long commitment yes, but it is not the parent's right to dictate the child's life. Do you think your mother should be able to tell you that you can go to the movies or not? To drive a car or not? To marry or not? To Transition or not? ... There is a line between being a guardian (good parent) and a tyrant (bad parent).

Quote from: Brenda32 on October 06, 2005, 08:20:13 PM...
Even adults do stupid things if you let them.
...

Do I have a right to keep those adults from doing (what I consider) stupid things? Do you?

Circles, nothing but circles.

Tony has robbed many banks, and  this is the first time that he has been caught for the crime. But one cannot judge him. He has really shown me a good side of him since I've gotten to know him since we've been correspondig with each other. I read between the lines, and believe me there is nothing between them.

Gina

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 07, 2005, 11:04:08 AM
believe me there is nothing between them.

Gina

The lines?

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 07, 2005, 11:04:08 AM
Tony has robbed many banks, and  this is the first time that he has been caught for the crime. But one cannot judge him. He has really shown me a good side of him since I've gotten to know him since we've been correspondig with each other. I read between the lines, and believe me there is nothing between them.

Gina

Hello Gina,

Remember you have to honest with yourself, what other side of him would you expect to see while he is in prison?  Has he had the chance to show you his not so good side, we all have them?

On another note, I'm not sure how your legal system works in the U.S. but if you know that he has robbed other banks and has not been caught for them, aren't you supposed to notify the authorities, else you are aiding and abetting a criminal?

Just my thoughts,

Steph

Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on October 07, 2005, 11:32:43 AM
On another note, I'm not sure how your legal system works in the U.S. but if you know that he has robbed other banks and has not been caught for them, aren't you supposed to notify the authorities, else you are aiding and abetting a criminal?

Interesting and very sobering point.  I would definitely recommend looking into that.

devi-

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 06, 2005, 03:38:44 PM
I honestly think that I cna change him into a better person once he's back into society and we can live a good life together.

My experience that although support can definitely help someone grow into a better person, it is ultimately on their own strength that they must find that path.  I have seen far too many people think that by being there for a person who is lost, they can somehow help find them find their path when in the end, the person trying to help is only dragged down into the other person's chaos.

... but I know... we must all take our path.

I hope yours is a positive one... no matter what happens.

devi-

Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on October 07, 2005, 11:32:43 AM
On another note, I'm not sure how your legal system works in the U.S. but if you know that he has robbed other banks and has not been caught for them, aren't you supposed to notify the authorities, else you are aiding and abetting a criminal?

First of all... I am by no means a lawyer, but I feel this might be a good starting point for research of anyone interested in finding out more about what "aiding and abetting" means in the legal system.

"A person charged with aiding and abetting or accessory is usually not present when the crime itself is committed, but he or she has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice, actions, or financial support."

http://criminal.findlaw.com/crimes/a-z/aiding_abetting_accessory.html

devi-

I don't think mere knowledge of a crime constitutes aiding and abetting; a more positive action to assist is required.

Dennis

Having been told by someone even if they are the person who alledgedly committed the crime is heresay, and as such inadmissable. Unless of course it comes in the form of a confession either to a priest, attorney, or police. Then you get into a whole nother set of caveats. I don't think Gina can get into trouble because he told her he has robbed other banks, only if she has knowledge that he is going to rob a bank and he commits the act. After that you get into the deffinitions of aiding and abetting as Devi pointed out.

Cassie

In Canada, admissions by the accused to anyone are admissible in court as evidence and not excluded under the hearsay rule. If someone else told you what the accused did, that is hearsay.

Dennis

I've been following this thread with interest and concern.

I'd like to comment on two points.

In an earlier post Gina said "I honestly think that I cna change him into a better person once he's back into society and we can live a good life together...."

I honestly believe that we cannot change another person.  People may change, but change takes place because they have chosen to change.  I think the idea of being able to change other people could be one of the biggest reasons marriages don't survive - one spouse thinks he/she can change the other spouse into their image of the ideal mate.

There was also discussion about the responsibility you have to your children when you see them about to make what you view as a big mistake.  While you cannot stop any child who is not physically under your control from doing somethine that could harm them, physicalls and/or mentally, I think you have an obligation to tell them when you think they are making a mistake and then be able to backup your thoughts with legitimate reasoning and facts.

Anne

He is serving a good amount of time for the robbery.  Problem is you don't serve that much time for ONE robbery.  They caught him for THIS one, then charged him with others.

Gina, you're not dumb.  You are adding litte bits and pieces to this story everytime you post.  Things that you know are going to keep us going.  I think you are loving the attention this is getting and are just baiting us.  Tell us the whole story in one swoop and let's move on.

Sorry girls, I shoot from the hip and call it like I see it.  Don't mean to offend.

Alright, I've been on both sides of this fence, and I'm going to comment using my personal experiences. If anyone wants to further discuss my experiences for any reason, please send me a PM or an e-mail and I'll gladly oblige any sincere inquiries/comments as honestly and openly as I can,whether we are in agreement or not.  This is Gina's post & she's the main concern here, so I don't think it's fair for this thread to get wrapped up with too much ado over my experience.

Gina, dear soul....  in late '96 I answered an ad from a Death Row inmate looking for pen pals.  At the time I was in NJ and he in Florida.  I told him up front that I didn't want romance & he agreed, and so we wrote back and forth, sharing thoughts, life experiences, and so forth.  He never pretended to be innocent and he told me how to find details of his case online, which I did.  And it is ugly and to this day turns my stomach to read it or think about it.  He's appealing his death sentence and at the time there was a greater chance that he might be released; that chance is even slimmer now.

Fast forward to '99... I shocked Marc with the declaration that I was in love with him--and I was.  We met later that year and spent 3 days, 6 hours each, together.  A few months later, I had moved to Florida to be near him and we visited once weekly and continued writing.  In November of 2000, we married in the prison, legally.  

Marc and I are going to be getting divorced.  Now before anyone tells Gina "I told you so", listen further.  I've been to Death Row many times in the past several years.  Marc is a beautiful person, and I've met plenty of other beautiful people in prison.  There's absolutely nothing that condones their crimes--the guilty ones, (AKA the majority) have committed atrocious acts against God and humanity.  But I've also seen where grace has shed its light on them.  And I have seen that were I to have walked in their shoes for even a little while, I might have become just as volatile.  I forgot who said this or how the exact quote goes, but there's more to a person than the worst thing they've ever done....

HOWEVER, we are getting divorced, and for a reason.  Over the past few years I have grown tremendously as a person....I actually love myself now.  I see how in the early years Marc filled an emotional void for me, he provided love and acceptance and my confidence boosted as a result.  I've told him the very worst about me and he didn't bat an eye.  

There are big problems to this, Gina.  

First of all, just because Marc is a beautiful person doesn't mean it was meant to be.  There are lots of beautiful people in the world.  Just because he adores me doesn't mean I'm supposed to be married to him.  There are plenty of people who'd hang the moon for me that are otherwise..well, I hate the term but...lowlifes.  

Yes, it feels good to be loved, it feels good to be accepted, but to fall in love with someone because they're 'nice' and they make me feel good is shallow. You don't go around making decisions, especially major life decisions, based solely on emotion!  I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, and it'll sound even moreso since I'm a stranger, but there's a lot missing in your story here.

Since when do we put credibility in someone simply because they tell us we can trust them?  He tells you he's honest, and that makes it all OK?  Anyone can talk.  

Gina I've been there...you got a scented candle and 4 pictures....  I've been there...I've gotten the hand-made and the ordered gifts, given not out of Marc's abundance but scraped out of his poverty; we've exchanged HUNDREDS of letters and cards throughout the years.  I understand that he's giving you all he can give right now, and that it's special and endearing and precious to you.  

You've said that things are going 'really well' for you and Tony... I'd like to ask how they can possibly not go well, since your relationship as of this point is one-dimensional.  I've spent hours and hours with Marc, and still there's no way of knowing how well we'd actually get along if we lived together and co-existed in the outside world, with all of its pressures and demands.  

I'm concerned about your comment, Gina, where you said you think you can 'change him into a better person'.   As the others have said, you can't change people, and entering a relationship on that premise is foul play.  I see a different twist on this, though-- if there's a need for you to change him into a better person, what does that say about who he really is?  If you're going to continue in a relationship with him after he's released, you'd do well to be prepared for all his warts---including the ones you plan on changing---ask yourself if you could really live with those things on a day to day basis if it turned out that you couldn't change them.  

On Florida's Death Row, I've met several wives/girlfriends of prisoners.  Most of them..I'd say 98% of them are there under the premise that their loved one is innocent.  I hardly think that out of the 26 inmates that can have visits on any particular day, there are going to be 20-something of them who are innocent...and oh-my-goodness!---all in the same room, what a coincidence!  This speaks volumes about the deception that many prisoners practice, and also about the disillusionment that their loved ones are under.  

I've seen prisoners with controlling natures (I've a keen instinct and have only to watch certain people before I can detect such things) manipulate their girlfriends; I've seen women go overboard for their men only to be dumped... Yes, these things happen on the outisde all the time... but with your man in prison, that's 5 years delay you have before you get to see what he's really like in living color.  A difference between a Death Row prisoner and a gen-pop prisoner is that those in gen-pop know when they're getting out, and need to secure a home before they do.  

I still haven't told you why Marc and I are getting divorced.  When I began to love myself, I realized that I was learning to fly and Marc is still only beginning to crack his shell open.  I started taking classes and seeing life in full color while the prison tugged at my shirt-tails.  I realized that if we had met outside prison walls, I'd never have married him-- I sacrificed my own values and integrity, and accepted certain attitudes and behaviors about him just because he's in prison. And this isn't really about judging---I'm not judging him as a person, I'm saying that as a person and a friend he's wonderful, but for a partner, my standards are higher.  It's about discernment.  

I made a sacred promise to Marc and had to break it, and that hurts us both.  Broken relationships, no matter who is 'at fault', hurt everyone involved.  There's a chance that you might be avery different person in 5 years, Gina.  If you both love each other, prove it before you commit to life together.  Let him be released, find work and learn to support himself in his own place with his own bills without your financial help.  Let him date you.  This is for his own good as much as yours.  If you commit to Tony, and you end up having a transformation such as my own, you might very well end up hurting him in the long run.  True love stands the test of time...if waiting isn't good enough for him, he probably has ulterior motives.  

I know some of my statements have been strong, and I mean you no disrespect or harm.  I do feel very strongly about this precisely because I have been there.  I hope you'll think more objectively about this--think with your head, with rationale...lay your feelings aside for a while.  You're welcome to contact me privately if you need to talk or want to know more, I'm glad to help any way I can.

Everyone I apologize if my thoughts didn't come out cohesively, a bit tired right now...

Valerie  

That is beautiful, Valerie.

As someone who defends criminals and gets to know people who commit criminal acts quite intimately, I can add: they are not "bad" people for the most part. Most of my clients, however, are extremely damaged by their upbringing, by their neurology, or by their own addictions (or a combination of all three). I don't think that the fact that someone has committed a criminal act is a reason to judge them. I do think that in order to commit a criminal act most people are carrying some terrible damage. And no, you can't help them, you can't trust them. You can accept them as people, however flawed they may be, and they can help themselves. Don't bet the farm on it, and if you support someone who means to change too much, you wind up enabling them to not change.

But nobody I've seen changes in jail. They just acquire the means to change and perhaps the catalyst to change. And they can change once they're out. Jail is a highly unnatural, controlled environment. Regardless of someone's best intentions, they are very hard to live up to when you're outside.

So I'll chime in on the skepticism about the relationship. Not because I judge Tony because of what he's done, but because he can't be the person he means to be while he's inside. And the person that you're involved with is the person who is inside. Perhaps he will be able to change when he's out, but you have to be extremely careful not to enable him or support him too much. It has to be his change, not yours.

Anyway, that is beautifully put, Valerie and although your story is sad, it seems you have learned a lot from it.

Dennis

ok honey listen... i am just as worried about you as everyone else. ive been to prison and i live with a sex affender. (he is a very good person and is helping himself to better his problem. nothing violent btw though) and everyone is right if he robbed banks that includes violence, and you have to keep up te violence in prison or become somebody's bitch. pardon my expression. ive have had a few t-girlfriends that has been in the same situation that you have put yourself into and they have either been hospitalized or i have lost them indefinately. please no matter how "honest" or sweet or harmless he seems. he is not what you think. in prisons, if people dont have anyone on the "outs", they will look for anyone they can to talk to and keep talking to them just to try and escape the mental walls that they have to deal with as well as the physical ones within the compound. just please dont take the first fish you catch because of a desperate twitch to say you caught a fish hunny. just because you caught a 15 pound 25 inch trout doesnt mean its going to cook or taste good..... check the lake youre fishing in better for a nuclear waste facility upstream and make sure all containers are sealed.

Quote from: danivamp3435 on October 08, 2005, 02:46:11 PMjust because you caught a 15 pound 25 inch trout doesnt mean its going to cook or taste good..... check the lake youre fishing in better for a nuclear waste facility upstream and make sure all containers are sealed.

:-\

not make sence?

Valerie,
When you told your good friends of your love for Marc and desire to move to FL what did they do or say to you?  Anything?

Hi Brenda,

They supported me, but were understandably concerned for me. They worried that Marc would never get out & I'd be miserable.  Mom and Grandma came to the wedding, they both adore Marc.  But Mom misses me terribly, and I her...she still drops hints at me moving back to Jersey, but another big change isn't something I'm ready for right now.     --Valerie

Quote from: danivamp3435 on October 08, 2005, 04:28:40 PM
not make sence?

:')  No... it made sense... just thought it was a funny metaphor. :')

lol oh ok

Hi Leigh,

The lines that I'm talking about are the written lines in his letters.

Thanks for your good point there Steph. Tony has been mad at me during the start of our relationship. Stupid things that I would do that would get him sent to segregation, but it was a learning thing for me, and he forgave me for it.  :)

I guess it's no different in any part of th eworld with the legal system, but I guess I would be aiding and abetting a criminal if he hasn't been caught for his other crimes, but that's a chance that we're going to take.

Gina

Thanks Danivamp for your heartfelt concern. And Valerie, I read your response with tears in my eyes. You really do understand what I'm going through . I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a divorse. That is something that Tony and I have discussed and it's something that we won't be encountering. And I do tend  to agree with what Cassie and Dennis say about the fact that I've only heard about the crimes that Tony's done and that I wasn't technically a part of it, so I can't really be aiding and abetting in these crimes.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Glad to see that your reading the responses. You still have plenty of time to think about things before Tony gets out and I think that's good. Just remember we all care about and only want the best for you.

Shelley

Gina!

QuoteStupid things that I would do that would get him sent to segregation, but it was a learning thing for me, and he forgave me for it.

The two of you have never been together. You have never actually met face to face. You have only written letters back and forth. Now read that quote over very carefully. Do you see ANY RED FLAGS here.

So basically you wrote something that really ticked him off which he took out on somebody else which got him sent to solitary confinement. You learned your lesson(i.e. don't do things that tick him off) and he forgave you for it.

So if you were living together and you did something that ticked him of like, oh I don't know, burned the soup or something, and he beat the living bejeezus out of you it would just be a learning thing and you would be gratefull for his forgiveness. Right?

Now I know what you are going to say here. Tony would never do anything to hurt me. You ticked him of in a letter and you, fortunately, weren't there to take it out on so he took it out on some other poor sap.

Think about it.

Cassie

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 13, 2005, 03:10:19 PM

Thanks for your good point there Steph. Tony has been mad at me during the start of our relationship. STupid things taht I would do that would get him sent to segregation, but it was a learning thing for me, and he forgave me for it.  :)
Gina

Hi Gina,

I'm glad you thought my last point was a good one.  Here is another couple of points and It is going to be the last time that I comment in this thread.

In order for your boyfriend to get sent to segregation would be for doing something violent or threatening.  If that happened, because of (as you put it) "stupid things that you would do" this should set off every alarm bell in the US of A.  My last point is that I would advise you to run away from this so called relationship as fast and as far as you can, and don't look back.  If you don't want to do that, all I can do is say that I hope that everything turns out as you hope it does, but I personally doubt that it will.

As I mentioned previously, this is the last time I shall comment in this thread, and I wish you luck.

Steph

Please alow me to clarify myself. The stupid things that I did was I had sent Tony the wrong things, you know things that I wasn't aware that was against regulations in a correctional facility. So technically he didn't take his anger out on nobody. Because of me he got put into a black hole for a few days. Has anyone ever seen The Shawshank Redemption? The same thing happened there.  Stephanie, I'm really sorry that you're no longer going to comment on this thread. I'm really going to miss your input.  :( You really gave me a lot of good point sto think about.

Gina

I don't believe that is the way it works.

The inmate has to have them in their possession before being sanctioned.  If these items were found prior to possession they would have been confiscated and possibly you might have been sent a letter explaining what was wrong.

If they were passed on by by someone in authority and then the inmate was found in violation, the person who passed it on would be reprimanded and little if any action would be taken against the inmate.

You are only relating second hand information and cannot speak to the truth of the statements.

I agree with Steph.  This subject is a dead horse.

When I've sent contraband to Marc, the mail room simply returns it to me with a letter stating that it's unauthorized.  A copy of the letter is given to the prisoner in these circumstances as well.  The same has happenend when I accidentally sent stamps to a federal inmate friend.

If someone sends contraband with out a forwarding address, the material is left in the property room, and the prisoner is instructed to provide an address to mail it to.  Under no circumstance is the prisoner punished, and Death Row is maximum security, they don't play games...

To go one step further, the wife of a prisoner was found to be carrying Advil into the prison on visiting day.  She was barred from visiting for a year or 2, but no action was taken against her husband. 

It's cruel & selfish of Tony to blame you for sending things that you don't know are contraband.  But I don't believe for a minute that he was put in confinement for anything you did.  What facility is he at? Why don't you give them a call?  You might even be able to speak to Tony's classification officer & find out exactly why he was put in the hole.  In fact, Tony was probably given a carbon-copy of his disciplinary action, and if he's nothing to hide should be glad to send it to you. 

Gina look at some of the people that have responded to your post---Steph, Cass, Leigh, Shelley, Dennis & I forget who else is on here...they weren't born yesterday, they've got a helluva' lot more life experience than you or I, & you've seen their insight on other threads...they know what they're talkin' about here. 

It would do you good to listen to them and the others as voices of reason.  You've already exasperated at least 2 of them with your reluctance to even consider that you might not know it all. 

Valerie

Thanks Valerie for your insightfulness. Tony is at the Bare Hill Correctional Facility in New York.

I can't rember exactly what I sent him, but there were a few things that were against regulations and they sent him to the hole for it. I gues sit's their way of punishment. They change tehir rules every week.

I realize that Death Row is a maximum security and teh correctional facilty is just a place where Tony is just more or less doing time for his crime.

I may ask him for a copy of his disciplinary action. I've got nothing to lose.

To all that has responded to my post here, I'd like to appologize for exasperating some. It's unfortunately a mental problem that I'm going through. I have been officailly diagnosed as being DELUSIONAL, and I can't see reason and I won't change from th way that I see things. Please forgive me for any irrational thoughts.  :( I really hope that I haven't offended anyone. I may be taking some time way from this board for a while, if you don't see anything from me . . .  :(

Gina

I don't think you've offended anyone, Gina. I imagine some of them might feel that any further comment would be futile, but don't let me put words in their mouths, either :) 

I hope your choice to take a 'vacation' from here isn't due to my earlier comments.  I didn't mean them to be hurtful, but was only pointing out what I thought was obvious from the comments of those who stated or implied they weren't going to comment any further.  Perhaps I could have done well enough without doing so....sorry... :-[

It's good that you're continuing to get help for your problem.  I hope you won't stay away too long, but remember that we care about you here & will be thinking of you.  Take good care of yourself....

Valerie

  Gina,

              You certainly didn't say anything that should offend anyone. I don't see you as delusional or irrational from the things you have said here but you should take the advice of your doctor if he/she is competent. If you do take a break I hope you return soon.




beth

Gina,

I for one have not been offended by anything you have written here. Nor do I think you are delusional. Naive, yes delusional, no. If you feel you need to take some time away from Susan's that is your choice and I hope you will return soon. Just remember that we do care about you and we care what happens to you or we would not have spent so much time with you.

Some may have become a little frustrated by the fact that you keep making excuses for this felon you love so much. Of course it is to be expected that you would do such a thing if you are in love. Love however is a two way street. How much love can there be if he gets himself thrown into disciplinary confinement and then blames something in your letters when that blatantly flies in the face of facts. I'll say it again prisoners do NOT get thrown in the hole because of something someone on the outside writes to them or anything they send to them. If Tony says this happened he is LYING! And if he lies to you about this what else is he lying to you about?

Also they do not change the rules in prisons on whims. The rules are very strict. It is a highly structered rule based system. Without standard rules everyone can follow the prison would soon devolve into chaos. So he is lying about that too. Anyway, I hope you will stay and know that I have not taken offense. It is my sincere hope that you will come to your senses and see through this guy.


Cassie

Hi Gina,

As I think I've said to you before people are providing you with feedback because there concerned.

One of the advantages of posting here is the feedback from others but another is that through posting you get to clarify your thinking. If either is not working for you a break maybe helpful.

If you do have a break remember we will still be here down the track and we will still care. Look after yourself Gina and thankyou for sharing with us.

Love and hugs.

Shelley

Gina,

Go take care of yourself and come back soon!  We'll miss you!

Chaunte

Last Friday I received a wonderful letter from Tony and without any prompting from me he told me that I am his only exsitence for living, and that he cherishes me for being a caring, loving, faithful and beautiful wife and that he would be up the creek without a paddle without me. So I think that I can actually change him, just by expressing my sweetness and caring towards him.

He's been having some problems at the correctional facility, and in a second letter, he said that when he gets out, he's going to rob some more banks like they wouldn't believe, and then he said "JUST KIDDING" That's the last thing that he wants to do.

Gina

Today I am devorsing myself from Mr. Tony Berryman  :( due to certain problems that have come up in my life.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Sometimes there are things we need to do in our lives that at the time hurt quite a bit emotionally but have to be done for our own good. Letting go of a relationship is one of those times.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you realise that your friends here at Susans will be thinking of you.

Hugs Shelley

Thanks Shelley for your kind and heartfelt words. It will be a tough time after a spending a year corresponding with him.  But unfortunately things have developed that I had to devorse him for the better of me. Hopefully I should be able to bounce back and it will make a better woman out of me.

A heartfelt thanks goes out to all my friends here at Susan's.  :)

Gina

 Sorry Gina,
But I too, have to side with the majority on this. Please be really careful. anything can happen, who knows what, just be careful.

Hello Gina,

                       I'm sorry to hear of your problems with Tony but I'm sure your decision is for the best.  Usually changes uncover new and better opportunities. I'm sure this will be the case.


beth

Hi Gina,

I can't honestly say that I am in anyway saddened by this news. I do feel for you though. I know it is difficult for you. However, you are at a point in your life when you need to concentrate on you and any relationship is just a distraction from those things. I wish you luck and always hope for the best.

Hugs,

Cassie

Gina,

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling right now.  As Shelley said, there are times we have to do thngs that are painful.  But I think you will bounce back a stonger and wiser woman.

Love ya!

Chaunte

Thanks to all for your kind and uplifting words.   Unfortunately to top everything off, yesterday I saw my neuropsychologist about my psyche test that I had taken a few weeks ago and I scored fairly low, and I have a severe frontal lobe damage to my brain, which controls alot of things, and it looks like I'm going to be more of a mental case  :( than anything else, which will require alot of medical attention and unfortunately there isn't anything that I can do about it, unless anyone knows of a good brain surgeon. In his report though he had said that my transsexualism is my own doing, which means that it wasn't caused from my accident twenty seven years ago. * Read my Intro for info on that.*

Gina

Hey Gina,

Look on the bright side of things if your TG is your doing you've done something well.

How else do you explain being stuck with us :D.

Thinking of you Shelley

Very good point there Shelley  :) I guess I have done something well  :)

I really like being stuck with people that I love and that love me. It really warms my heart. Thanks  for making me smile  :)

Gina

                              You are not a mental case Gina. You have grown to be a very nice person even though you have been given a terrible hardship. Most don't do as well without an accident.


beth

Gina,

Beth is right.  You are not a mental case.  A few (!) years ago, I met Jesus Christ's older brother (he told me so himself and meant it).  THAT was a gentleman who had a few ... what's the word?... issues to work out!  :D

With your injury, you will have a few limitations.  Some people would let their accident be an excuse for everything that is going wrong in their life. 

You have taken a different and healthier approach.  You are bound and determined to be the person you are.  Going forth with living full time is proof of this and I applaud you for it! :icon_clap:

Do you think your neurpsychologist is accepting of transgendered individuals?  Given what you have written, it sounds like he is not.  Have you talked with a TG-friendly therapist about these reults?  She might put a different spin on what is being said.

Go forth and excel!

Chaunte

Thanks Beth and Chaunte for your kind and uplifting words of encouragement.  :) I was really feeling down eversince I read the evaluation from my neuropsychologist, but thanks to your encouraging words, it's really uplifted my spirits and I'm not feeling so down any more.  :) Thanks. I'm right now working on a letter to him, since I didn't really get much of a chance to speak to him since my mom was there.

Gina


Posted at: November 14, 2005, 03:57:30 PM

---

About two months ago, I met this really nice guy who's taken a really nice interest in me, and he's very serious in us persuing a relationship. He's in his early fifties, but I don't really care too much about age. I'm a happy girl in love again! :)

Gina

I hate these silly doctors who live in their own world and don't think about how what they say affects their patients.

I think your doctor needs to be evaluated for his own competence.  Gina, you a wonderful person and should just live your life and not worry about what the "doctors" think.

Sarah L.

You're absolutely right there Sarah. These Docotors have really been screwing around with my mind, and I don't think that they really know what they're talking about. I just wish that they'd sit down and talk with me instead of testing me first and then trying to evaluate me from their tests.

Thank you for your kind and heartfelt words. I am really starting to enjoy my life and believe me, I don't really care what the doctors think or say. I know who I am! I am a very happy and wonderful woman!  :)

Gina  :)

QuoteI know who I am! I am a very happy and wonderful woman!

Amen to that girl.

Cassie

That's the positive Gina I love to here from. I agree with Cassie atta girl.

Shelley

Thanks Cassie and Shelley for your ongoing and uplifting support. It really makes me blush to think of how we've bonded.  :)

Gina  :)