Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It seems like everything except walking came naturally to me, and that's mainly due to nature. Even then I have a psuedo-masculine walk. My voice has always been feminine, though unless I'm speaking up it sounds neutral nowadays. I hate the way my voice sounds honestly, but there's nothing I can do about that nowadays.

People have never tried to repress my behavior, and when people try to make me more feminine they fail. 

I have little concept of feminine mannerisms honestly, at least consciously. I'm feminine, I know that, but that's personality and interest wise. In terms of manners, I just come off as a reclusive and polite boy. 

The odd part is, if it were up to me I'd rather not appear so masculine. But it's just the way I am, so I don't care much.

No, I was born this way :)

I learned to emphasize a few things, and once i went full time i took up male mannerisms without even trying, but for the most part i was pretty masculine beforehand

No, i basically had to forget all the male mannerism i'd affected to hide.

I've had to learn male mannerisms. Sadly, I'm pretty bad at it.

Nope. Only thing I changed was my music tastes because stupid me thought that guys can't listen to t.A.T.u. or Evanescence but recently I decided to stop caring and listen to it again.

I spent a lifetime repressing my inate femininity. Presenting female is easy. Unlearning some of my bad male paterns of behaivior was a chalenge though.

Nope. I'm a kind of feminine man and I'm kinda happy with that. Trying to be more masculine would be acting like a person that I'm not.

I really didn't. My mannerisms come naturally to me. I've always been more on the masculine side, or at least for as long as I can remember. I do have some feminine mannerisms but who doesn't. I just go with the flow. :)

Quote from: Andrew Scott on February 13, 2011, 08:35:16 PM
Nope. Only thing I changed was my music tastes because stupid me thought that guys can't listen to t.A.T.u. or Evanescence but recently I decided to stop caring and listen to it again.

I knew guys in college who loved t.A.T.u.

As far as mannerisms, I don't think I really have many. Maybe a few behaviors often considered feminine, like being very away of my "personal bubbble" or parking under streetlights, but that's more for security really. I just follow my instincts.

I tried to learn masculine manners but it turned out to be a dismal failure. I even had other people try to teach me or break me of some of the more feminine ones.
Now as i think back of one thing that my ex tried to do was to get me to try talking without using my hands. What she did was she held my hands and had me try to talk and my mind went blank and all that would come out was a bit of gibberish and stammering,she let go of my hands and the words just started following again. The bad part was is that she got a kick out of doing this in front of our friends.
She would say hey you gotta see this and she would do the same thing and the results were always the same. At the time it wasn'tfunny but now i can look back and i can see the humor in it.  :laugh:

I've always been naturally rather fem. and got made fun of allot for it... Folks were always trying to "Make a Man" out me and I actually did try really hard to "Man Up" and "Act like a man"... But you can see how that's worked out  :laugh:

I had to remind myself to walk or talk a certain way and how to sit or dress. I did it so often it became second nature. (Notice second nature) I am now unlearning those things. This unlearning is allowing me to behave as I really am and always was instead of acting out the parts others made me play to fit in their world. Not that I fit in very well anyway.

As with most here, it's a more a matter of allowing myself behave naturally instead of manly. I was surprised to see how quickly it goes once I made the switch in my head. It felt like all the tension around the male-acting thing just dropped. However, I do feel strong mannerisms when it comes to semantics (choice of words, phrase formation...)

I too had to unlearn the lessons that were so liberally given when I was growing up.  I had to literally suppress the suppression of my natural mannerisms.

The same with verbal communication.  I used to review every word I said to make sure it was "manly".  It actually gave me a lot of "headspace" when I stopped that verbal review.

It was an odd and interesting part of my transition.

-Sandy

Quote from: kyril on February 13, 2011, 03:13:49 PM
No, I was born this way :)

This +100. I actually had to try harder to act "like a guy".  :o

Quote from: Andrew Scott on February 13, 2011, 08:35:16 PM
Nope. Only thing I changed was my music tastes because stupid me thought that guys can't listen to t.A.T.u. or Evanescence but recently I decided to stop caring and listen to it again.

My dad's the one who got me hooked to t.A.T.u. :D

And to the question at hand:  If I was to try and live full-time male, I would have to train myself to use the mannerisms that people think guys should have...it comes naturally to a degree, but after that, I have to train.

I also had to train myself to use mannerisms that people think girls should have.  That also came naturally to a degree. 

I'm a happy mix of masculine and feminine traits. :D

I didn't teach myself any mannerisms one way or the other; the way I act is just the way I act. That said, the only thing I find really feminine about myself is the way I sit. I rarely put my feet on the ground. Instead I like to curl up on chairs and couches and whatnot. It's hard to break this habit around other people. :p

Quote from: Virginia Marie on February 13, 2011, 10:44:58 PM
I've always been naturally rather fem. and got made fun of allot for it... Folks were always trying to "Make a Man" out me and I actually did try really hard to "Man Up" and "Act like a man"... But you can see how that's worked out  :laugh:

I can sympathize with this. I had to train myself to act manly, was told to "man up", quit walking like a girl, etc. I never really mastered the guy thing, though I tried like hell.

Once I decided to transition, I pretty much immediately dropped the act. I didn't need to unlearn any of the male behaviors, because they never became a part of me.... It was always an act. Actually it kind of feels like I had a multiple personality that became dominant, because I am so much different than that guy was.

It's interesting how the human mind works...

Quote from: JennX on February 14, 2011, 08:37:06 AM
This +100. I actually had to try harder to act "like a guy".  :o

Same here, honestly. I always had to force my voice higher and act differently before I finally admitted/accepted that I've never been a girl.

It really depends. My voice sounds naturally feminine. Sometimes it gets awkward - especially when I'm on the phone and I'll get ma'amed and I somewhat panic. Most times when I'm on the phone I try to have an authentic male voice. In these situations, I don't know whether to call him/her out on it or just pretend I didn't hear the ma'am - or WORSE, actually try to have a feminine voice on purpose only to sound masculine >.<

I've been on hormones for a while, but I'm not open to hardly anyone so I always have to watch my voice to make sure I don't give myself away. There are aspects of my personality that need work though. I notice that I could walk and stand in more feminine ways and it does help me pass a bit. My posture is particularly bad.

oddly enough I don't conciser myself to be a bad actor but I sure wasn't any good in 'playing girl' ,its just amazing how its nearly impossible to act the other gender !

The only thing I picked up is being open about emotions (once in a while) and I use my hands allot when talking. Other then that ,nope, all attempts to 'girly me up' have been utter and complete failures, next to them being downright traumatic!

Quote from: Andrew Scott on February 13, 2011, 08:35:16 PM
Nope. Only thing I changed was my music tastes because stupid me thought that guys can't listen to t.A.T.u. or Evanescence but recently I decided to stop caring and listen to it again.

I like both of those bands.  I would assume that some guys also secretly like them just because they are lesbians and they are into that.

Well, I am still very much male, but I guess I have some 'cute' mannerisms...

I never had to "teach" myself to be masculine, I always was.

I was sent to a finishing school as a teen to be taught how to act like a lady, because I was way too boyish, according to society/my parents. When I transitioned, all I had to do was stop putting on the facade I was taught at that school. So, for me, the answer is 'no', I just had to be myself and that default is fairly masculine.

I'm very non-gendered when it comes to my mannerisms. I speak just like any of my other guy friends, I just have a better vocabulary. The only thing I've really been working on is my body language and learning to move more like a man. This is a but harder to do considering the way your body is made more determines how it moves.

Very strangely, I talked to my friend who I came out to 1 week ago about my life, and how I felt I had lived a lie. He said that it made sense now.... it seemed I was trying to act male, but always didn't quite make it! Lol! I was so pleased in a way, because it just confirmed that I always had a lot of feminine responses in my life and trying to concentrate on been a male always made me slip up... In fact I can remember my brother and my mum asking if I was gay, again something that I absolutely denied at the time; but they will soon find out the real truth! I'm hoping that when I do go full time, eventually, the natural mannerisms I've suppressed will come out in force. I already found myself been more talkative to girls at work about things such as their hair, something I would have avoided like the plague before.

Apparently it was obvious to my friend that I was either 1)gay, 2)trans, or 3)both.  I don't really know if my actions are masculine or feminine, I just act how I want to.  I'm trying to observe walking patterns day by day, and not standing like a guy, sitting, etc etc.  Speech, that may be a bit difficult, I haven't given it a thought yet, but next time i'm with some of my friends i'll observe them.  I already talk as much as some girls though, lol, my teachers have always had to tell me to shut up because i talk to much, and if I can't use my hands, it's a horror. 

No. Like many have expressed here, it was more about letting the inhibitions fall away. I was out with a girl who recently came out and she remarked how I acted so feminine. What I notice is that in social situations, there is a moment where it's like I can hear him tell me how he would react and I know how I would react and I now just choose me. It's like a small hitch that I recognize but is getting quieter and quieter by the day. Pretty cool and very liberating really.

YES!!

I find I have to try and act masculine as I am not out yet.

Like many here, most of my tendencies have just flowed out, I don't try and hide any but some over obvious ones I may mask so not to embarrass my children too much.

Shelly

Quote from: Andrew Scott on February 13, 2011, 08:35:16 PM
Nope. Only thing I changed was my music tastes because stupid me thought that guys can't listen to t.A.T.u. or Evanescence but recently I decided to stop caring and listen to it again.

Why do you think Tatu played up the lesbian? Plus, Evanescence is mega popular with boys; maybe even more-so then with girls.

I worked hard over the past 10 years to learn masculine mannerisms all of which just went up in smoke as soon as I knew I don't need them no more.

The feminine ones just come naturally.

Quote from: kyril on February 13, 2011, 03:13:49 PM
No, I was born this way :)

Yeah same here too. I've done a few good acting jobs on the female front, but that was never me. And even then, I had to observe how others were acting and try to fit with that. But the acting is few and far between. On a daily basis I'm just myself. I'm not trying to walk differently or talk differently or never put my hand on my hip or do this or do that. Bleh, what a way to live your life by trying to copy things that aren't you.