Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Key on February 16, 2011, 05:57:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: 2nd time telling the parents: I don't think they get it
Post by: Key on February 16, 2011, 05:57:00 PM
Post by: Key on February 16, 2011, 05:57:00 PM
So I told them again amidst eventual tears and the gut-wrenching feeling of how much I really hate my body right now. They said they'd love me no matter what, even if they don't support me in what I may choose. The issue is, I kept getting the feeling that they didn't really approve, more of their conservative nature coming out. Gods I love them to death, but they started quoting scripture on me, the one in psalms about how we are all fearfully made by God. I finally realized tonight that they're view, while they're ok with the LGBT community, they still believe it is a choice. I wholly disagree with them, but I'm not about to debate semantics and such with them, or back up my point in text.
I guess I can just be glad that they'll love me, I mean, that's all I could want really. I think, however, I will be moving out when I get the money to. It's going to put far too much stress on them, and the fact that they're still hung up on the issues between my brother and I (things THEY should have taken care of a long time ago, and are saying I need counciling for it!) and believe that those issues need to be solved first before my own Dysphoria, well I'm sure you can guess how that's making me feel.
By the way, since when did expressing one's feelings online become less legitimate than in real life? Since when has knowing people in the trans community online been different from in real life? Can we not communicate better by text than by word of mouth sometimes? Aside from the bouts of crying and what can be read from that (I'll admit, I cried a lot. I think all I could say was 'it hurts so much.') how can we better express ourselves in real life than online?
I digress, I have rabbit holed. I guess the outcome was ok, but I feel lost now, it's support, but it isn't. Maybe that's why God (or gods, depending on your views) gave us friends who understand us far better...
I guess I can just be glad that they'll love me, I mean, that's all I could want really. I think, however, I will be moving out when I get the money to. It's going to put far too much stress on them, and the fact that they're still hung up on the issues between my brother and I (things THEY should have taken care of a long time ago, and are saying I need counciling for it!) and believe that those issues need to be solved first before my own Dysphoria, well I'm sure you can guess how that's making me feel.
By the way, since when did expressing one's feelings online become less legitimate than in real life? Since when has knowing people in the trans community online been different from in real life? Can we not communicate better by text than by word of mouth sometimes? Aside from the bouts of crying and what can be read from that (I'll admit, I cried a lot. I think all I could say was 'it hurts so much.') how can we better express ourselves in real life than online?
I digress, I have rabbit holed. I guess the outcome was ok, but I feel lost now, it's support, but it isn't. Maybe that's why God (or gods, depending on your views) gave us friends who understand us far better...
Title: Re: 2nd time telling the parents: I don't think they get it
Post by: VeryGnawty on February 18, 2011, 09:06:30 AM
Post by: VeryGnawty on February 18, 2011, 09:06:30 AM
Quote from: Key on February 16, 2011, 05:57:00 PMGods I love them to death, but they started quoting scripture on me, the one in psalms about how we are all fearfully made by God.
I assume they didn't quote the scripture about cutting away offending body parts and casting them away. Or the scripture about people who made themselves eunuchs for the glory of God.
The funny thing about the Bible is that people have a tendency to quote one or two scriptures, when the Bible is made up of thousands of scriptures. Quoting the Bible is like playing a single note on the piano and claiming that you have discovered a musical masterpiece. It also has about the same effect on anyone who knows anything about music theory: i.e. no effect at all.
For reference, this is from the King James' Version:
Quote from: Holy BibleMathew 18:8
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast [them] from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
Title: Re: 2nd time telling the parents: I don't think they get it
Post by: Key on February 18, 2011, 10:04:25 AM
Post by: Key on February 18, 2011, 10:04:25 AM
Quote from: VeryGnawty on February 18, 2011, 09:06:30 AMExactly, it's meant to be read as a whole, and not piece by piece. And then they forget God berating one of the disciples, I forget which one, on the topic of Cornelius the centurion, telling that nothing created by his hand is unclean, pretty much abolishing the old laws (not that some of them aren't still good, a lot of them are good for health.) It just peeves me and I know the rest of this is just gonna be much harder because of it.
I assume they didn't quote the scripture about cutting away offending body parts and casting them away. Or the scripture about people who made themselves eunuchs for the glory of God.
The funny thing about the Bible is that people have a tendency to quote one or two scriptures, when the Bible is made up of thousands of scriptures. Quoting the Bible is like playing a single note on the piano and claiming that you have discovered a musical masterpiece. It also has about the same effect on anyone who knows anything about music theory: i.e. no effect at all.
For reference, this is from the King James' Version:
Title: Re: 2nd time telling the parents: I don't think they get it
Post by: ClaireA on February 20, 2011, 03:45:21 PM
Post by: ClaireA on February 20, 2011, 03:45:21 PM
My sister was (is) the same way to the whole situation - she supports me as a sibling, but she doesn't agree with what I am doing.
Quote from: VeryGnawty on February 18, 2011, 09:06:30 AMHaha - I go to a Bible college and 9 times out of 10 when a student quotes a verse or two in a presentation or something, I whip out my Bible and look at the context, and it usually shows that what they quoted actually means nothing like what they were intending it to mean.
I assume they didn't quote the scripture about cutting away offending body parts and casting them away. Or the scripture about people who made themselves eunuchs for the glory of God.
The funny thing about the Bible is that people have a tendency to quote one or two scriptures, when the Bible is made up of thousands of scriptures. Quoting the Bible is like playing a single note on the piano and claiming that you have discovered a musical masterpiece. It also has about the same effect on anyone who knows anything about music theory: i.e. no effect at all.
For reference, this is from the King James' Version:
Title: Re: 2nd time telling the parents: I don't think they get it
Post by: MarinaM on February 21, 2011, 01:18:55 PM
Post by: MarinaM on February 21, 2011, 01:18:55 PM
Some people won't. Simply continue along your path.
What you must understand is that you are trying to achieve a level of normalcy, a comfortable level of being for yourself and the others around you. They are more than likely afraid of you becoming a spectacle, and some of us simply can't be alive without being one, but you must show them that you are dead serious in a level headed manner. It took me a long time to be able look people straight in the eye (even in boy mode), and tell them I'm a transsexual woman. Do not bend, do not stutter. Be intense and challenge their perceptions. Showing people that you accept who you are without depending upon the acceptance of others sends the most glaring signal.
I grew up baptist, went pentecostal, finally just accepted being Christian in general. All of this business about others trying to interpret the bible is a bunch nonsense. That all should be about YOUR personal relationship with your higher power. I know, "lean not unto your own understanding..." But guess what? There is no other form of understanding.
What you must understand is that you are trying to achieve a level of normalcy, a comfortable level of being for yourself and the others around you. They are more than likely afraid of you becoming a spectacle, and some of us simply can't be alive without being one, but you must show them that you are dead serious in a level headed manner. It took me a long time to be able look people straight in the eye (even in boy mode), and tell them I'm a transsexual woman. Do not bend, do not stutter. Be intense and challenge their perceptions. Showing people that you accept who you are without depending upon the acceptance of others sends the most glaring signal.
I grew up baptist, went pentecostal, finally just accepted being Christian in general. All of this business about others trying to interpret the bible is a bunch nonsense. That all should be about YOUR personal relationship with your higher power. I know, "lean not unto your own understanding..." But guess what? There is no other form of understanding.