Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Tamaki on February 27, 2011, 10:11:06 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Tamaki on February 27, 2011, 10:11:06 PM
Post by: Tamaki on February 27, 2011, 10:11:06 PM
On Saturday I flew down to southern California and came out to my sister. I was expecting the worse. All my siblings are very religious and I worry that they're not very open minded. My sister and I sat on the beach and told her that I needed to talk to her. Of course, she had figured out that it was something important. She had thought maybe I was dying, needed a kidney, needed money or was getting a divorce. When I told her that I was transgendered it was obviously a shock. The thought had never crossed her mind. My fear is that she would never talk to me again and I told her so. Her reply was that we are family, we need to stick together and she would never turn her back on me. She even told me that she hopes that this will bring us closer together. We talked a lot about family and about being transgendered and promised to talk more as things come up. It was a positive experience and a good first step. i hope it continues this way. I have more respect for my sister.
I was able to tell the one person that matters to me most besides my wife and it went really well but the whole experience has left me emotionally drained.
I sent letters to my brother and other sister. I'm still waiting to hear back from them. I can only hope that it go as well.
I was able to tell the one person that matters to me most besides my wife and it went really well but the whole experience has left me emotionally drained.
I sent letters to my brother and other sister. I'm still waiting to hear back from them. I can only hope that it go as well.
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: justmeinoz on February 28, 2011, 06:12:37 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on February 28, 2011, 06:12:37 AM
Big hugs and high5's all round!
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Mrs Erocse on February 28, 2011, 06:21:52 AM
Post by: Mrs Erocse on February 28, 2011, 06:21:52 AM
Quote from: justmeinoz on February 28, 2011, 06:12:37 AM
Big hugs and high5's all round!
Yes, that is great news to hear. Many big hugs.
Patty
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Tamaki on March 08, 2011, 05:54:58 PM
Post by: Tamaki on March 08, 2011, 05:54:58 PM
I just received a reply from my brother. Apparently he's been sick and is always busy.
His reply in part:
I was, quite frankly, more than I was expecting. I'm grateful that even though I am challenging their beliefs and their basic understanding of who I am they still feel that were family and need to stick together.
Still haven't heard from my other sister but don't expect to.
I think this is a positive start.
His reply in part:
QuoteUnderstanding the seriousness of the situation that you described in your letter I just wanted to make sure that we are very well aware that I'm not going anywhere, and we are and will always be Brothers!
I was, quite frankly, more than I was expecting. I'm grateful that even though I am challenging their beliefs and their basic understanding of who I am they still feel that were family and need to stick together.
Still haven't heard from my other sister but don't expect to.
I think this is a positive start.
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: matt on March 09, 2011, 01:54:26 PM
Post by: matt on March 09, 2011, 01:54:26 PM
Wow, this thread is great! I just came out to my brother over the weekend. I was also very nervous about it. Actually I had been wanting to tell him for more than a month, but never found the right chance (may be I was just too scared).
Anyway, on Saturday night, while we were playing video game together I finally found the courage to say to him that I needed to talk to him. And after I told him about me being trans and am seeing a doctor, his reaction was just, "yeah, a lot of people are like that" and he was completely fine with it. He also mentioned that his friend's cousin is also trans (MTF). I was so surprised that he took it so well. Granted he may have been expecting it coz i've never been like a sister, I think we've always been brothers.
But the feeling afterwards! I felt so relieved, liberated! And suddenly I felt like I was finally able to be a complete person in front of him. Before there was always part of me that I hid from him. Now we can talk about anything! It is great!! I am so glad I have amazing siblings!
Anyway, on Saturday night, while we were playing video game together I finally found the courage to say to him that I needed to talk to him. And after I told him about me being trans and am seeing a doctor, his reaction was just, "yeah, a lot of people are like that" and he was completely fine with it. He also mentioned that his friend's cousin is also trans (MTF). I was so surprised that he took it so well. Granted he may have been expecting it coz i've never been like a sister, I think we've always been brothers.
But the feeling afterwards! I felt so relieved, liberated! And suddenly I felt like I was finally able to be a complete person in front of him. Before there was always part of me that I hid from him. Now we can talk about anything! It is great!! I am so glad I have amazing siblings!
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Tamaki on March 09, 2011, 02:24:39 PM
Post by: Tamaki on March 09, 2011, 02:24:39 PM
That's fantastic Matt, I'm so happy for you!
It was such a huge relief to stop lying to my family. I've been really surprised how well everyone is taking the news.
It was such a huge relief to stop lying to my family. I've been really surprised how well everyone is taking the news.
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Padma on March 09, 2011, 03:34:29 PM
Post by: Padma on March 09, 2011, 03:34:29 PM
This is all great!
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: Tamaki on March 09, 2011, 03:58:34 PM
Post by: Tamaki on March 09, 2011, 03:58:34 PM
Actually, it gets better. My sister that no one has spoken to for years sent me a letter today. Even though she really didn't have much to say about me coming out, the lines of communication are finally open. I'm feeling very lucky right now!
Title: Re: Came out to my siblings
Post by: NathanW on March 12, 2011, 03:56:16 AM
Post by: NathanW on March 12, 2011, 03:56:16 AM
Thats great that your siblings are fine with it :) and it's great that you can talk to them about it.