Susan's Place Transgender Resources

in ways i haven't felt before, but i'm starting to feel really angered by how i've been alienated for so much of my life, and that's my greatest fear, having to live as male and feel a bad amount of alienation from cisgendered females. since i still have that penis to remind me of what i went through in the past life, i can't help but feel resentment and like cisgendered females are my psychological enemy along with males. i try not to obsess gender too much, but since i started transitioning, it's like i've been seing it more and more.

Seek psychological counseling. The kind of feeling now can be very destructive. For whatever is worth, it is not the males or females fault, but society at large.

OO,
Kate

What Kate said  :-\

Some cisgendered females are my greatest allies and best friends. Some people just suck.

Though society can be cruel, it does not serve anyone well to completely alienate ones self from society at large.

Kate said it well, and Emma put the finer point on it.  If we bear resentment against cis-gendered females, we are perpetuating society-at-large's years of errors and bias.  We have to rise above so many things, and this is only one of them.

I have and still but very rarely feel this resentment towards the cis population but it never went too far and I never let it control me. I realize that it isn't that I genuinely blame them for anything but I had to blame someone and they seemed like a good target of my anger, which is wrong and even logically unsound.

You'll get through it.. best of hugs  :)

Cisgenders are a t-girl's worst friend.

As soon as they get jealous/envious for whatever reason or something falls apart in the friendship,
they turn on you and refer to you with horrible names.

In summary, they can't be trusted.

Finding a trustworthy t-friend is a much better option, preferably a FtM if you are a MtF.

Quote from: jade on March 07, 2011, 10:30:00 PM
Cisgenders are a t-girl's worst friend.

As soon as they get jealous/envious for whatever reason or something falls apart in the friendship,
they turn on you and refer to you with horrible names.

In summary, they can't be trusted.

Finding a trustworthy t-friend is a much better option, preferably a FtM if you are a MtF.

i feel like ftm seem more approachable than cisgendered males. most cisgendered males, i can't get along with for anything.

Quote from: jade on March 07, 2011, 10:30:00 PM
Cisgenders are a t-girl's worst friend.

As soon as they get jealous/envious for whatever reason or something falls apart in the friendship,
they turn on you and refer to you with horrible names.

In summary, they can't be trusted.

Finding a trustworthy t-friend is a much better option, preferably a FtM if you are a MtF.

Do you know how hard this thinking makes it for those of us working to portray mtf's as normal?

I had a diatribe all ready to launch in  response, but I think a simple "you're wrong" will suffice. This is the type of thinking that perpetuates stereotypes, and should not be allowed to develop, no matter your personal experience.

I've harbored that same resentment at various point in my life, it's been a struggle to get beyond it at times.

I do know that it's not a healthy way to think....

I feel that I've successfully turned the corner and hope to keep it that way, once I start an official transition.

Quote from: jade on March 07, 2011, 10:30:00 PM
Cisgenders are a t-girl's worst friend.

As soon as they get jealous/envious for whatever reason or something falls apart in the friendship,
they turn on you and refer to you with horrible names.

In summary, they can't be trusted.

Finding a trustworthy t-friend is a much better option, preferably a FtM if you are a MtF.

Right, this is an official warning as you are skirting dangerously close to violating TOS 10.

Susan's is an inclusive space and that means everyone, from all flavours of the trans spectrum, to our cis s isters and brothers, those of us who are IS and even people who think they're cats. This kind of attitude is unhealthy and fosters a seperatist mentality, which feeds into the preconcived stereotype that trans folk are different and some how lesser than cis gendered people. We would like to keep such attitudes away from the website.

right now i've waved my spikey mod stick around for a bit i'm going to go. Y'all play nice, hear.

Quote from: jade on March 07, 2011, 10:30:00 PM
Cisgenders are a t-girl's worst friend.

As soon as they get jealous/envious for whatever reason or something falls apart in the friendship,
they turn on you and refer to you with horrible names.

In summary, they can't be trusted.

Finding a trustworthy t-friend is a much better option, preferably a FtM if you are a MtF.

So there's already been posts saying this is wrong, but not only does it contain the very kind of prejudice we all should be working against, it is also logically wrong. I'd guess that you have had a bad experience with a "cis" person in the past, but that in no way means that all members of that group cannot be trusted. It doesn't mean that someone who is "trans" is completely trustworthy either.

Better advice is to get to know someone well before trusting them with sensitive information, and remember that even then there are no guarantees of safety. People who you might not normally trust could be fine individuals, and someone you've known for years could betray you under certain circumstances. Don't make broad assumptions like this; they are always wrong.

Jade you've given no specifics just some horrible generalization, come on plenty of XX girls are fantastic, my bestfriends are all XX girls.

The bigger the group the less any two individuals will share any characteristics in common, as a group they'll be overlap between individuals like a multi dimensional mesh, there are no real analogies that work.  But again no two individuals need share any characteristics in common.

Is it just me or does anyone else see a massive illogicality in resenting someone who IS what you CLAIM to want to be.

I am sorry to say this but to my way of thinking that's just a tad wacko, but then I don't really acknowledge the whole trans/cis divide really anyway. Intersex people are after all, in a sense, somewhere in between.

Right okay...topic locked, I just don't see this going anywhere good.

Spacey Girl, I can understand how you may feel resentment towards cis women, but resenting someone for something they have no control over is a very un-healthy attitude. Kate's already pretty much said it, seek some counselling or find some other way to over come this resentment, because you really run the risk of these feelings posioning your attitude to and relationships with any cis freinds you have or may have in teh future.

Right, that should just about cover it I think