Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Was being all nice to me and told me I made the best pizza shes ever had... until she found out my name and that i was a girl. After I walked away she told an employee of mine that she thought she was talking to a guy the whole time. My employee told her thats what I wanted, and she replied with "THATS EFFING DISGUTING." Then of course the employee had to come blurt that out, infront of everyone at work. Not gunna lie, I was embarrassed, and that did really hurt me for a little while. :embarrassed:

Ugh, skank. Some people just lack the decency to act like human beings to other people just because they're at work and can't do anything about it, it's like the internet.

And what that employee did was also rude, I would have told him or her to keep their mouth shut. But couldn't you be stealth at work even if you're legally female?

Meh, the response of the employee was ->-bleeped-<-ty as well, should have just stated that it was none of the woman's goddamn business.

Sorry this happened to you. :(

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on March 08, 2011, 09:30:52 PM
Ugh, skank. Some people just lack the decency to act like human beings to other people just because they're at work and can't do anything about it, it's like the internet.

And what that employee did was also rude, I would have told him or her to keep their mouth shut. But couldn't you be stealth at work even if you're legally female?

Ya i totally agree, in a way, im glad i was at work, cuz honestly i dont think i would have been able to hold back.

And i cant be stealth at work because even though im out to everyone i work with, theres so many "regular" customers that come in that know me from 4 plus years ago, that would probably give me away. Theres a few other small reasons as well. Im going to quit this job when i start T and find a new job where i can be stealth.

And yes that was rude of her. Shes not one of my favorite people. Almost anyone else that I work with would have stuck up for me, but of course thats the way it works.

Quote from: Caleb. on March 08, 2011, 09:42:17 PM
Meh, the response of the employee was ->-bleeped-<-ty as well, should have just stated that it was none of the woman's goddamn business.

Sorry this happened to you. :(

Ya i completely agree, but thanks man. We all face things like this sometime or another. It just sucks when it happens, people can be really rude.

Damn, man. I'm so sorry that happened to you, props on not ripping her head off though. You've got some damn good self-control.

Sorry that happened man, something ->-bleeped-<-ty happened to me at work today too.  I tried to get a lady to come to check out at my register but she was looking at me wierd and said "not with you" with a frowny face.  The cashier who checked her out told me the woman said she didn't know what I was but she didn't want someone like me checking her out. 

N. Chaos- Thanks dude, but trust me I really really had to hold back!

Andy- Im sorry dude, thats horrible. I just dont understand whats so messed up in peoples heads that they can be like that. i just dont get it.

I wish I could get a permit to punch just one person each day with no repercussions.  I think it could be useful.

I'm very non-violent.  I've only hit one person (well, other than my brother!) in my life - a girl.  And she deserved it completely.  (She also left me alone after that, which was the relationship I desired with her)  But despite not actually hitting people, I still would take the permit - people like this customer (and the employee) deserve a good slap.

For the record, I wouldn't go around hitting women unless you're willing to deal with the angry strange men who witness it.

Bruised and Bloodied: Oprah Narrates Snooki Getting Punched (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu8a5U3OJnk#)

XDXDXDXDXD

Thats pretty crappy from the customer and the fellow employee.

Yes,didn't you know! its true trans people can't make good pizza!

This is so ubelievable it sick!

Maybe she was worried that the pizza would have trans fats?

I think Slanan's onto something here, I wanna sign up for this permit too. Granted, I'd exceed my limit without a doubt. I'm the complete opposite, I'm an incredibly violent person and always have been. Broke a girl's kneecap in seventh grade, almost killed a guy in eight. My track record is spottier than a friggin' Dalmation.

These people are so odd. I understand peoples pain but we should feel sorry for the idiots as well. Nervously looking over their shoulder for the rest of their miserable lives. Oh my God Has my <take away food> < restaurant dinner>  <cup of coffee>  < hair been washed or styled> <etc>  by one of THOSE people.

Never ever ever get upset or offended by people making these remarks, laugh at them, even if you are furious. Laughter is far more taunting. Practice a few quips and keep them close. 

Sorry you people were insulted. I do know how it feels. But we are bigger than them.

Hugs

Cindy

Slanan- Im also a very non violent person. Ive only been in one fight and he really deserved it. But that is a good idea, but i would just want a permit to give them a piece of mind. I dont think id actually hit them (even though i might really want to!)

Arch- haha that was good one, i got a good laugh.

Cindy James- Your right. I would rather be the bigger person anyway, it feels better at the end of the day having a clean conscience too. Thats a good idea, ill have to try the laugh method next time.

Quote from: Slanan on March 08, 2011, 11:58:58 PMI've only hit one person (well, other than my brother!) in my life - a girl. 

Quote from: N.Chaos on March 09, 2011, 01:28:03 AM
Broke a girl's kneecap in seventh grade,

Hitting girls. :icon_blink:

Girls can hit girls.  That's within The Rules.

and hey, if customers were real cool people who were just a delight to be around, pretty much the best people on earth and all that - then I wouldn't have to pay you good money to work with them.

Damn man, perspective! You work where retail and the food industry collide, if thats the worst thing that happens it's a good week  :P

JMO, but it sounds like the girl just felt rejected and reacted badly, no?

Quote from: Tracey on March 09, 2011, 05:35:01 PM
JMO, but it sounds like the girl just felt rejected and reacted badly, no?

Rejected how? I dont think i understand

Wasn't she "chatting you up" until finding out you're a girl?

No she was just telling me that the last time she ate there the pizza tasted like ->-bleeped-<- and whoever made it this time was the best she ever had. I told her I made it and thats when she found out my name and her attitude all changed.

I don't know, sounds like she was working you to me, again, JMO.

Either way she's still a bitch, that's just not right, most people are nice enough to just keep quiet.

Michael,
  I did have a few customers like her.  There's no way getting around these people.  They always wanted a Cadillac performance out of a VW Beetle piece of cheap equipment.  Some did come out at first to praise our work and in an instant find an excuse to deride my shop, the personnel and my company.  These people are manic-depressives.  Just be cool. 
  Keep making good pizza, your co-workers should get more used to you.  If your co-workers are still on you for what you are and the manager does nothing, then it is time to leave.  Give them some more time.  The time to gain their respect is precious.  It is hard to find a job that you can go stealth in, especially in this economy.  Good luck.
  Joelene

Yeah, I think she was hitting on you too... so she was probably being a bee-yotch at least in part b/c she was embarrassed.

QuoteMaybe she was worried that the pizza would have trans fats?

*Spews tea*

Dang, another keyboard... ::)

Um, customers are evil.  Here's a link to a blog that proves it:  http://notalwaysright.com/ (http://notalwaysright.com/)

I love Not Always Right. Some of the stories are maddening, but some are just funny.

I really dont think she was hitting on me. Shes like a 60 year old woman who was in there with her granchild and she seriously just really liked my pizza cuz i made it exactly how she asked. But who knows, maybe.

Hi Michael

Don't let it botter you.
Some people just have such a miserable life so they can feel a little better when they can piss off someone else.

Like Cindy said, we are stronger, much stronger.

Remember that dude, you can beat her by keeping your dignity.

hugs
annette

Thank you joelene and annette, both very true.

hylie random- that website is halarious.

Some folks just get awkward and embarrassed when they feel that they've made a "mistake" about gendering someone. They turn it back on you, as if you were intentionally trying to trick them.

Quote from: Michael James on March 10, 2011, 05:49:42 PM
I really dont think she was hitting on me. Shes like a 60 year old woman who was in there with her granchild and she seriously just really liked my pizza cuz i made it exactly how she asked. But who knows, maybe.

There may not have been an overt sexual element there, but there was obviously a gender element and possibly an implied sexual undertone.

It's tough being a middle-aged woman in this society. I'm finding that women who are, say, 50 plus have a whole different relationship with me, compared to pre-transition. I'm not good-looking, but I'm a "young man" who is kind and friendly to women who, I suspect, often don't get a heck of a lot of male respect or attention. The other day, for example, I encountered a painfully slow librarian who must have been about fifteen minutes from retirement. I suspect that a lot of her library patrons are...excuse the pun...patronizing and impatient. I wasn't. I smiled at her and waited without chafing at the bit. When she came back with the DVD I needed, I thanked her with feeling and then flashed her a big grin. She lit up like a Christmas tree. It was amazing. Stuff like this has been happening to me more and more since I started my transition.

In your case, you were a good-looking young man who gave her the perfect pizza, and you were probably super-nice to boot. That means a lot to some people, and women of any age can take that as flattering. But maybe especially a gal of sixty.

Quote from: Arch on March 10, 2011, 08:40:52 PM
Some folks just get awkward and embarrassed when they feel that they've made a "mistake" about gendering someone. They turn it back on you, as if you were intentionally trying to trick them.

There may not have been an overt sexual element there, but there was obviously a gender element and possibly an implied sexual undertone.

It's tough being a middle-aged woman in this society. I'm finding that women who are, say, 50 plus have a whole different relationship with me, compared to pre-transition. I'm not good-looking, but I'm a "young man" who is kind and friendly to women who, I suspect, often don't get a heck of a lot of male respect or attention. The other day, for example, I encountered a painfully slow librarian who must have been about fifteen minutes from retirement. I suspect that a lot of her library patrons are...excuse the pun...patronizing and impatient. I wasn't. I smiled at her and waited without chafing at the bit. When she came back with the DVD I needed, I thanked her with feeling and then flashed her a big grin. She lit up like a Christmas tree. It was amazing. Stuff like this has been happening to me more and more since I started my transition.

In your case, you were a good-looking young man who gave her the perfect pizza, and you were probably super-nice to boot. That means a lot to some people, and women of any age can take that as flattering. But maybe especially a gal of sixty.

Alright, i can see how that could be.. makes sense. I guess when stuff like that happens, i just have to let it go. Everyone deals with things differently and i cant help that. Im nice to everyone, and would never say something like that but to some people, i guess thats just their reaction. Thanks for explaining it to me though :)

As I like to screw with the heads of those who deserve it, I would have made the sign of the cross in her direction, and said "may you go in peace to serve the Lord"!
In other words you forgive her for being a total *******! and smile while you do it.   ;D

OMG I'm sorry Mike. That's friggin ridiculous. =(

Quote from: Michael James on March 08, 2011, 09:25:53 PM
Was being all nice to me and told me I made the best pizza shes ever had... until she found out my name and that i was a girl. After I walked away she told an employee of mine that she thought she was talking to a guy the whole time. My employee told her thats what I wanted, and she replied with "THATS EFFING DISGUTING." Then of course the employee had to come blurt that out, infront of everyone at work. Not gunna lie, I was embarrassed, and that did really hurt me for a little while. :embarrassed:

from the way it sounds, do you manage this place? you could probably refuse her service in the future, and embarass her instead, because she's a clueless moron who has nothing to do with her life other than wallow in her own misery.

Quote from: SpaceyGirl on March 20, 2011, 06:23:07 PM
from the way it sounds, do you manage this place? you could probably refuse her service in the future, and embarass her instead, because she's a clueless moron who has nothing to do with her life other than wallow in her own misery.

i am a manager, but its corporate run, so theres many above me. But, i agree.

The lady came in again yesterday. My GM was there and she took her order. The grill cook served up an order a few minutes later, but it wasnt hers. The lady started yelling at ME to get her order. I told her it wasnt hers and she argued with me telling me it was. I showed her the ticket and she didnt have anything to say. i walked to the back until she left, because im not going to deal with a customer who hates me for no reason. After she left my GM was like wow, she is a bitch.

Quote from: Michael James on March 20, 2011, 06:42:59 PM
i am a manager, but its corporate run, so theres many above me. But, i agree.

The lady came in again yesterday. My GM was there and she took her order. The grill cook served up an order a few minutes later, but it wasnt hers. The lady started yelling at ME to get her order. I told her it wasnt hers and she argued with me telling me it was. I showed her the ticket and she didnt have anything to say. i walked to the back until she left, because im not going to deal with a customer who hates me for no reason. After she left my GM was like wow, she is a bitch.

ok, lol. she must really have no life.

Quote from: SpaceyGirl on March 20, 2011, 06:45:39 PM
ok, lol. she must really have no life.

I agree, we had one of those visit the shop and she had both my manager and his visiting DM hamstrung for two hours in my manager's office until one of the store managers brought in a new, upgraded unit in the box, unopened.  Her gripe?  We repaired her old unit, not replace it!  She really knew how to push the right buttons.  The customer is always right, even though she had no life!
  Joelene

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 21, 2011, 12:12:45 AM
   The customer is always right, even though she had no life!

Haha exactly, thats what sucks.

Sorry that happened Michael James. The girl had absolutely no class. Neither did the employee. You did not deserve that. Wish there was some way we could just erase that for you.

Hugs,

Roxy & Patty

I hate when customers act like that. Since you are out at work, why not just go by the male name you are going to go by? that is what I did, and I made it clear to co-workers don't' refer to me as my previous name, it took some time but they are used to it now, and when I had an old friend ask for me by my old name, it took them a bit to realize they were asking about me.

As far as customers that knew you, well they'll just have to get used to it. The ones that knew me, just look over.. lean up to another worker... is that... umm. and they just say, that's Jules, and usually customers just respond with, ah, ok to each their own.

You should tell your co-worker not to spread your business to the customers, and if it keeps happening go to your manager, what I did with a specific co-worker.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on March 09, 2011, 12:23:51 AM
For the record, I wouldn't go around hitting women unless you're willing to deal with the angry strange men who witness it.

Bruised and Bloodied: Oprah Narrates Snooki Getting Punched (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu8a5U3OJnk#)

XDXDXDXDXD

This may or may not sound bad. But that was pretty funny when I saw that. Snookie is such a Bitch.

Anyway topic creator, I think that that girl liked you. Well until she found out.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.  I send you hugs.

It's sad that girl felt that way, and although she is allowed to feel that way (regardless of how pathetic it truly is), she should've kept it to herself and walked out instead of making a huge scene like that.  What a jerk. 


And this is only slightly relevant, but even though I'm a girl myself, I'd have a difficult time hitting another girl.  Guess it's the gentleman in me.   ::)  Sage would most certainly never hit a girl; he's too nice.

The only time I'd ever put my hands on a girl in an aggressive manner would be to like, grab and restrain her to stop her from hitting me, if she was hitting me first.   :(

Quote from: Andy8715 on March 08, 2011, 10:48:04 PM
Sorry that happened man, something ->-bleeped-<-ty happened to me at work today too.  I tried to get a lady to come to check out at my register but she was looking at me wierd and said "not with you" with a frowny face.  The cashier who checked her out told me the woman said she didn't know what I was but she didn't want someone like me checking her out.

wtf??! She can't stand to be around someone whom she cant decipher their gender for two seconds while she buys stuff? What does she think is going to happen? That you'll spread your cooties onto her food? sheesh!

Just an update, i now go by male pronouns and my male name at work as well also and my new shirts say michael and everything, and things are much better!

Huzzah! ^.^ Did you get new work?

Quote from: Michael Joseph on October 04, 2011, 08:59:30 PM
Just an update, i now go by male pronouns and my male name at work as well also and my new shirts say michael and everything, and things are much better!

Right on!  :)  Does that mean pizza party?  ;D

thank you ;D No im still at the same work, I just had a talk with the big managers. And sure, pizza party it is!

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 09, 2011, 09:33:17 PM
  Keep making good pizza, your co-workers should get more used to you.  If your co-workers are still on you for what you are and the manager does nothing, then it is time to leave.  Give them some more time.  The time to gain their respect is precious.  It is hard to find a job that you can go stealth in, especially in this economy.  Good luck.
  Joelene

SEE?  You done it!  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-happy096.gif&hash=214d8ddfd6cd194680e4c11f082f5de9c82883d5) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
  Joelene

*hugs* well done!

I hope that takes a ton of stress of your mind. I know it did when I finally went full time at work.

Quote from: Michael Joseph on October 06, 2011, 07:05:33 PM
thank you ;D No im still at the same work, I just had a talk with the big managers. And sure, pizza party it is!

OMFGAWD PIZZA!   ;D  I'm glad things are going better for you, and I hope no more rude people decide to bother you.

Have a pleasant evening, and please pass the mozzarella.   :P

-Sage

That's pretty awesome.  ;D

Did that old skank ever come in again? lol