Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today me and my therapsit were talking about Fantasies and Delusions. Are there really any differences between the two? :-\

Gina

Gina,

I'm not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on television.  However,...

I guess I would have to say that a fanasy is a detailed daydream, such as my becoming president or being crowned Miss Universe.

Delusion would be if I actually believed that I was the president or Miss Universe!

Chaunte

Thanks Chaunte for your comparisons between fantasies and delusions. That was kind of what me and my therapist were talking about as well.

Gina

I try to keep the two in perspective.  There is nothing wrong with Fantasy as long as you know the reality and keep all that you do based in that reality, it is just a wish or wanting of, and can even be healthy as long as it is recognised as fantasy.  Delusion on the other hand replaces reality and this makes it dangerous to any individual or those associated or in proximity of that individual, as without recognition of reality, no decision or action can be made that is appropriate to real life situations or in the best interest of anybody.

Terri

I am going INSANE!!! My therapist has diagnosed me as being very delusional. My world is no longer black and white. What is real and what is not? I can't tell the difference any more. So what if I enjoy wearing pantyhose under my blue jeans during the day time, even though I am in my male mode.  My life is becoming very confusing. Too many poeple and too many voices. I am becoming schizophrenic!  AGGGH!!!:) :( :) :( :) :( :)

Gina

Hi Gina,

I have to say I actually enjoy the feeling of pantyhose under blue jeans myself but thats another story :).

I don't think however that having delusions necessarily means insane but it does mean that if you are in the hands of a therapist that you are probably where you need to be.

I have had some concerns in relation to some of your posts lately. Just remember we are here to talk to and we care about you.

Hugs Shelley

Gina,

I can really relate to what you talked about. You said about feeling confused because so many different people are telling you so many different things. I understand that feeling, and it's scary. If it were me, I would run that past another doctor, and some other people(which you're doing on here).

Slow down, and breathe. We're all here with you!

*BIG HUGS!*

Shelly, it was just a figure of speech. No need to call the mental institution. LOL But thanks sweetheart for being there for me.

Hi Kelli,welocme to Susan's and thanks for your heartfelt concern for me. Maybe we can talk. You should PM me sometime. I'll be seeing my GP soon, and I'll be talking with him again. It's really nice to be around poeple that really care and look out for each other. . . :angel:

Gina

Wait ...

He diagnosed you as being delusional because you like wearing pantyhose under your jeans?  If I'm misunderstanding, then ignore me.  I do that all the time.  If that is the case, though, I'd get a different doctor.  He doesn't seem to understand transgender issues.

No Stephanie, you didn't misunderstand me. That's what she said. She feels that I am delusional because I enjoy wearing pantyhose under my blue jeans when I'm in male mode. I also wear feminine underwear and have been for the last three years. I'll never go back to wearing men's briefs.

My psychiatrist is starting to feel that my marriage is delusional. My husband writes me very sincere letters every day and he always starts them off "To my sweet wife Gina" and he always closes them with "Love, your husband Tony" We accepted marriage between ourselves  on November 6, 2004, and he truely loves me. :)

Gina

Hello Gina,

I was just wondering if your husband has shown that he loves you other than just telling you in letters, or on the phone.  I hate to say this but "talk is cheap".  You have to be "dead certain" that you are not being used as a means to and end, otherwise you may find yourself "dead for certain".

Just my thoughts, I would hate to see you being taken in by a felon.  Do you know anything else about his criminal record, or was bank robbery his first.  What about his family ?

Chat later,

Steph

Hi Stephanie,

My husband, Tony does write and talk with his father occasionally, and as I've said before, he sent me a Teddy Bear and a berry scented jelly candle for my birthday that cost him $45.00 and he's sent me things that he's made like tapestries with Walt Disney characters on it with our names on it. As I've said before he is very honest and sincere and taking advantage of me is the last thing that he would want to do. He  respects and appreciates me too much. I really appreciate your heartfelt concern, but he hasn't posed any threat to me. He's been robbing banks for a long time, and he's promised me that he doesn't want to rob anymore banks. he just wants to settle down and enjoy life with his wife now when he gets out in 2010.  :)

Gina

As suggested by Kelli, I have been running this theory by some other non-medical people, but people that kno wme fairly well, and believe me, they were very shocked  :o :o :o :o at the idea of me being delusional!

Gina

QuoteMy therapist has diagnosed me as being very delusional.

Ok, so what are your delusions in regards to? being a woman?
from my experiences, wearing pantyhose under jeans while in male mode seems very fetishistic, but I am not about to pass judgement on you based on that little piece of information.

hi gina,

sounds to me like it's time to start shopping for a new therapist. in my opinion a therapist should be someone who makes life LESS confusing, not more. besides, multiple opinions in the medical world is a must, why should this be any different?

Hello Flower,

I would agree to the extent that you don't shop around until you get the answer you want to hear.

Just my thoughts,

Steph :)

In reply to Alison's comments my therapist feels that there are some aspects in my life that I'm delusional about, not just the fact that I enjoy wearing pantyhose under my jeans while in male mode. But I am in the process of looking for a better therapist who understands transsexualism a lot better. It may take a while, but I am looking.

I'm not really sure on what answers I'm really looking for though Stephanie. Because I know exactly what I want to do, it's just that the therapist is the gate keeper.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Does sound like it is time to move on evenif just to get some confirmation.

Shelley

Despite all efforts my bigest problem is my family right now. My mom in particular. She strongly feels that I was not born a transsexual and that my problem is stemming from my accident and the damage done to the frontal lobe of my brain. So I will be seeing another neuropsychologist at the end of this month. But I will be armed with some references from Dr. Richard J. Novice's book "Alice In Genderland" that I think may help. If anybody has read this book, please check out pages 92 qnd 136, 137, and let me know what they think.

Excuse me for asking Shelly, but what confirmation are you talking about?

Gina

Hi Gina,

How's it going.

I just meant that it's just that your journey seems a bit bumpy and that you might benefit from a second opinion in the therapist area and that if nothing else this may provide some confirmation for you of what is being said to you. That is from the existing therapist and you family as they appear to be giving quite different advice.

Good luck sweet lady and keep in touch.

Shelley

Hi Allison

Ok, so what are your delusions in regards to? being a woman?

Yes, that is one of the delusions  that my therapist is talking about.
He also thinks that due to the damage done to the frontal lobe of my brain due to an accident twenty-seven years ago has something to do with this as well. He believes that I live in a fantasy world and I can't tell what is real anymore.

Yes, it really does look like its time to seek a "second, third" whatever opinion.  I don't think your current person is willing to accept Transsexualism.

Just my opinion, and probably not worth a lot.

Sarah

Although, and I'm not saying anything about Gina's particular case here, there also probably are some people who are delusional rather than transsexual. The therapists aren't always wrong when they say it's something else.

I agree, get a second opinion, but don't shop around till you find someone that confirms your own diagnosis. If they keep coming in as not trans, maybe there is another issue there. The last thing you want is regrets because you forced the diagnosis.

Dennis

Thanks to all. I will most definately seek a second opinion.

My psychiatrist had talked with me and then he talked with my parents and then he came to the conclusion that I am delusional.
I believe that it is all right to have credit cards in my 'feminine' name and I honestly believe that I am married to a wonderful man, and we will be celebrating our first anniversary in November. I just received a letter from him today and he's very excited about it!  :)

Gina

Sounds like your on the right track Gina,

That just doesn't sound like what a therapist is supposed does it?

Shelley

You see Shelley, I've been fortunate that I get things sent to my P.O. Box under different names , so occasionally i get credit card aplications sent to me under my feminine name, and I've been able to get credit cards issued to me. My psychiatrist thinks that that is delusional.

Even though my husband is in a correctional facility for the next five years, we still enjoy corresponding with each other through the mail system. But again my psychaitrist thinks that I'm delusional to think that I'm married.

Gina

Delusional, no. Unwise, yes. Legal things should *always* be in your legal name. I think the term is fraud but I'm not certain. Still, depends on the legal documents you signed to get the card in the first place I'd imagine.

My advice: Make sure you do not give anyone any excuses.


As far as delusional goes, I've not heard anything that I would call delusional.
Being transsexual can *easily* be called delusional. Look at it from the perspective of thinking being a man or being a woman is black and white and there are no in-betweens. If I were to tell such a person that I was a girl how possibly can they compute that. That I am delusional is the only logical answer.
Moral: Understand why someone tells you something before you believe it ;)

Judging by what you have said of the therapist, it would not by chance be a traditional sort.. older possibly. Believe marriage is man & woman at a church only.. that sort of thing?

QuoteBut again my psychaitrist thinks that I'm delusional to think that I'm married.

Ok, I'm go to bite on this one. Are you married?
pardon my bluntness. most states recognize marriage as a union between a man and a woman. even for TS she would have to be post-op to marry a genetic male. or a pre-op MtF TS could marry a pre-op FtM TS. unless you live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal since technically a pre-op MtF is still male, so you could in essence marry another male. but seeing that you live in FL (like myself) that wouldn't apply unless you applied for a license in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage.

Kimberly, very interesting way of thinking, and yes I do tend to agree with you that it is all balck and white. But I will tak egreat care  with the legal things with the credit cards, but as said I haven't had any problems with it.

Allison, Tony and I are married through the process of exchanging of wedding gifts, and he considers me his wife as I condsider him my husband, until we can get proper marriage papers done. But I do  understand that Florida is against same-sex marriages, but there are other states that do approve of it.

I may try out that idea of trying to find a gender counselor long-distance.

Am I delusional for thinking that I am happily married. I have never been so happy in my life before. This has been the best time of my life. I have found someone who truely loves me for who I am. :angel:

Gina