Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Is it true that lasering your hair off makes THAT much of a difference when you are in your in-between stage?
I went to the Doc and she said that my brain basically doesn't register the HRT differences because the beard on my face sends a signal to my brain that I am male.
Hmmm.  I'm looking for laser packages this week.

I don't know about all that. Having a smooth (or smoother) face certainly does help you see the girl though. Having a full on beard I imagine would get in the way of that. I have noticed a curious number of us MTFs seemed to have beards at one point or another in our lives, including me for 10 years. I think we probably did use it to man up.

lack of facial hair does help a lot...it's almost like a baptism of fire, you are reborn like the pheonix in the burning heat of a laser!

I'm a non-op for the foreseeable future, and I mind telling you that losing my chin scruff is almost all I can think about.  I've tried every conventional hair removal, and nothing comes close to keeping me from seeing and feeling it.  So, at least in my case, I want to say, "Yes!"  The beard for so many is the first gender-qualified characteristic people look at--maybe second only to hair--stupid wig.

Getting rid of the body hair is liberating. I found getting my ears pierced was as well. Wearing nail polish to work, getting my eye brows shaped.  All of these minor steps make you feel better. It builds confidence. Now on HRT it starts to come together.

Cindy

I shaved really close yesterday to get my laser test patch done - I hardly ever shave (I keep my beard short with clippers) because I have very fine skin and bleed really easily, so I can't shave more than once every 5 days or so.

Seeing myself with a smooth face made me ridiculously happy! So, universalising my own experience ;) I'd say it can make a huge difference. I'm wondering about my copious body hair (the curse of being jewish - well, that and endemic guilt...) and how/when I'm going to start de-furring myself. I naired my chest 10 years ago to get a tattoo on it, and it felt very weird to be "bare", but I feel like there's a sense of getting reborn going on with transitioning, so coming into the world naked and hairless makes some sense to me.

But it all boils down to what your own relationship is with how you look/want to look, I think, as to what your top priorities are for making changes. That, and how important it is to pass as not-transitioned until you get to a certain crossing-over point where you're comfortable with passing as transitioned (at least, that's what comes to mind for me when thinking about beards).

How many natal females have a beard or beard shadow?  How do women react to seeing even the slightest bit of hair on their upper lip or chin?  That gives you an indication on how male defining facial hair is.  Virtually every natal female would be devastated having even 1% of the facial hair of the average mature male.  If you doubt that, just ask them.

Next time you are approaching someone on the street and you look at their face to gender them, notice how many you instantly gender male once that dark patch becomes evident on their face.

UPDATE:
I was able to get a small "Cosmetic Loan" through a place my Laser Office recommended. I pay only $75 a month and I have a year to pay.
I went today for my first laser appt.
Yes, it hurts. It is tolerable. They did use 23% Lidocaine cream...I highly recommend it!
 

YES!
When that shadow is in the way it doesnt much matter how much you have changed. You will fixate on that shadow and be devastated. I know that when I got laser by the 3rd session I didnt really see a boy in the mirror much from that point on.

Melody;
I have also noticed that most MTF later in life transitioners sported beards in their male incarnation. I did, and I did it specifically to make myself apear more masculine. I ussed to taunt close shaved men for shaving saying things like, 'lions dont shave their manes'  'peacocks dont pluck their feathers' and 'if you want to look like a girl take estrogen, just shaving isn't doing it for you'. I figured if I hyper masculinized then no one would have doubts about me. (yeah right. turns out they all suspected something.) lol Of course this would piss off the guy I taunted and make him feel picked on but they never would back up their manhood with confrontation or a fight, always choosing to avoid conflict. Which reinforced in me the belief that I was actually a really manly dude. (yes I was an ass when I was a wannabe man)

I still have some on the upper lip and of course the grays.  And it get to me some times.  But I am working on the electrolysis.

I have a ton of grey furs left but they do not make a shaddow so I am ok with them as long as they are kept shaved close most the time.

I get upset every day that I have trouble plucking some of the dark hairs on my face, the ones that lay just below the surface that no matter how many times you try to grab hold, even though it looks like you should be able to, the tweezers just can't, gotta wait a few more hours for them to grow out more. I look at my face in dismay, thinking I look absolutely terrible, that I look like a guy. My mom tells me that its not as bad as I think, that I'm only noticing it so welll because it bothers me so much to begin with. But the thing is is that it is noticable especially since I have such pale skin, especially in a well lit place, sure there are plenty of woman out there that have facial hair problems, some don't even bother to try to get rid of it, and some of them still look gorgeous, so why should I let it bother me, but it does because I'm not a woman physically, and take mustache or chin hairs, couple that with protruding adams apple, one like me would think it'd be dead give away that I'm a guy dressed as a girl, but because of my demeanor, how I act, as well as my voice, even if anyone notices the random few black stubbles on my face apparently it does throw them off, they still address me with female pronouns. Maybe I'm just lucky, so far. Still, absolutely hate the facial hair, and one would think, after having plucked them for over a decade, every day or other day, they'd get the hint, don't grow back again, you're not wanted.

I've been going to Laser treatments (my second already) and all I can say is WOW.  By the second treatment I had so much hair gone. I would say around 30% on my first treatment.  I have light olive skin and a dark beard...so I was a good candidate.

As far as passing, I'm still not out completely but lately will all the stress in my life (my baby has been 5 times in the ER and 3 hospitals) I'm not really trying hard enough.  I'm still on HRT of course but it's not at the top of my list as far as "finding her".  She's in there and I can't wait to be me, but right now I'm dealing with a lot.

I'll post pics soon.

Beard removal is as confirming to me as my breasts growing.

To me at least

Breasts=woman
Beard=man

I still hate that I have to shave at times albeit quickly now. I was thinking just the other day how many woman have shaving included in their morning routine.  :(

@mia-I also grew a beard at times, but hated it mostly. I did like my goatee/mustachy thing a little. My main purpose for a beard was to prevent me from cd'n. It always worked  :D

Quote from: Just Shelly on May 04, 2011, 09:42:34 AM
Beard removal is as confirming to me as my breasts growing.

To me at least

Breasts=woman
Beard=man

I still hate that I have to shave at times albeit quickly now. I was thinking just the other day how many woman have shaving included in their morning routine.  :(

@mia-I also grew a beard at times, but hated it mostly. I did like my goatee/mustachy thing a little. My main purpose for a beard was to prevent me from cd'n. It always worked  :D

Id agree that a lot of people see the gender divide as binary.....and the above boob = girl, beard = boy sums it up pretty well!

Quote from: Gravity's Child on March 16, 2011, 06:49:32 AM
lack of facial hair does help a lot...it's almost like a baptism of fire, you are reborn like the pheonix in the burning heat of a laser!

I liked this post, it made me smile :)

I can't wait until I can afford some laser, I have an galvonic probe electolysis machine, and it does work, but you have to have a very steady hand, and it is super painful, being reborn in the burning heat of a laser, sounds pretty appealing about now.

I am a hypocrite to a certain degree.  I don't believe in major surgery, BUT I do want all my facial hair - such as it is permanently gone - removed.  I dream about having absolute no beard shadow!


I am sort of ambivalent regarding breasts as the last two times I was on hrt I gained huge amounts of weight rapidly.

I not sure how I would pass since I have had different injuries my face to me does not appear I could pass maybe it just me. One day I will post a picture for you to see I been told I look very much like my mother. There are times wish I was a female but times be a male does that make any sense?