Susan's Place Transgender Resources

has anyone else here experienced this? i really didn't have any problems with my male genitals before i really started transitioning. i felt like the genitals were the last thing i needed to worry about. now that i'm on hrt and presenting as a female, i'm starting to feel disgusted with the male genitals i still have. i feel like i should definately have a vulva instead of a penis.

I've experienced this but, oddly (or at least, i seldom here it stated this way) it's the testicles that are become my bane. I find it virtually impossible to maintain a tuck (and generally have given up trying); I notice with unhappiness every time I have to adjust them for comfort (as in laying in bed); and am utterly pissed about how poorly panties fit because of them.

If I could do one thing tomorrow to advance my transition free of charge, it would be an orchi - slam dunk.

JMO. As you go along the journey making progress there appears a need or desire to go faster. The first time you go out in public can be scary, but once done you just do it.  Once on the 'mones it's a call to go further quicker.

Cindy

Quote from: SpaceyGirl on March 16, 2011, 01:53:26 AM
has anyone else here experienced this? i really didn't have any problems with my male genitals before i really started transitioning. i felt like the genitals were the last thing i needed to worry about. now that i'm on hrt and presenting as a female, i'm starting to feel disgusted with the male genitals i still have. i feel like i should definately have a vulva instead of a penis.

Absolutely.  My discomfort has been increasing exponentially in the past several months.  I'm having some difficulty enjoying myself with my girlfriend.  It's a hurdle I have to get over every time now.  I just hope it doesn't get to the point that I don't want to have sex at all, as surgery is a long way off for me.  If there was ever any doubt that I needed SRS, it's gone by now.

Same thing for me. I always figured that I'd be a non-op, now I'm not so sure.

I had a real problem before my Orchidectomy ( especially with tucking ), but things got somewhat better after. 

But now I am going thru a really bad GID episode.  Now I have had dreams of using a butcher knife. :o :icon_yikes:  The only thing that keeps me from doing it, is I need the skin for my new vagina,

It is something that many of us feel.

I knew one girl many years ago that hated the sight of them so much she used to have a bath wearing panties!

Caroline

Quote from: Hannah_Irene on March 16, 2011, 10:04:12 AM
Same thing for me. I always figured that I'd be a non-op, now I'm not so sure.

You and me both, honey.

As I've gotten older and taken more control over myself and my life, I've managed to contain most of my feelings except my distaste for the ugly bit.

I can't say my feelings toward it, which amount to dysmorphia, are new. I've always had them. It was the first thing that occured to me, at 4 years.

I don't feel disgust, more bemused indifference. It's days are numbered tho. mwaaaaaa haaaa haaaa haaa haaa! ! !!

I try that nothing bad happens to mine, I need it for my future vagina  ;)

Up until a few days ago, I was still busy making friends with my cock (and encouraging it to make other friends too - I'm not grabby!) - but suddenly it seems less important to me, now that I so often find myself visualising myself with a vagina instead. I've had 2 different people over the last year tell me it's nice (which had never happened before) so we're going to part on good terms, I hope :).

I've never felt disgust or BIID towards my penis, only those damned nuts that hang out with it.  They're the ones that caused all the problems, not it.  It was only doing what they drove it to do.  They also forced too much bony growth, too much hair in all the wrong places, and too damned much horniness for all those years.  I'm still waiting on my shrink for my second referral letter, but I'm having these damned things off as soon as that letter arrives.

I'm going to enjoy it more for many of the same reasons: panties will fit better, tucking will be much easier, estrogen will work better, and no more of so many bad experiences.

Hmm, I'm suddenly reminded of when I was 24 (a couple of years after I felt my first urge to transition), and walked into my doctor's office and asked for a vasectomy. She laughed at me, in front of a medical student who was there (I'm still bearing that grudge like Sméagol bears a ring, dammit) and said come back when you're older - in her defence (pff), she'd just come back from maternity leave, and I had no idea why I wanted the vasectomy, I just always did.

In the end, I got one 10 years ago, just as I was getting together with my wife-to-be (spoiler alert).

Like most of what was going on, I'd aways associated this desire with bad childhood experiences, but now I see it was just another attempt to step outside of being male. So my balls serve little purpose except to feel either nice or awful, depending on how they're handled. I suddenly started shaving it all about a week ago, and that feels like letting go of my connexion with it too.

Yep, the whole thing has to go.

The conversation went kind of like this:

"Thank you for your services, they are no longer required, nor desired."

"Golden handshake? Absolutely not!"

Yes I've never liked my penis, when I was younger I actually used to try to burn it off with chemicals. But the damn thing is resilient! I'm happy that it was unsuccessful now because I need it for surgery.

But yes, I hate my genitals. But at least I've come to an understanding with it and formed a temporary truce.

Absolutly!!!!!! I want them gone now as soon as I save I`m haveing them removed. ( no letter required) My testical has swollen to the size of a base ball and I might be able to get orchi with ins. money. The defect is unberibles to live with and be like us. I would remove it in the emergancy parking lot if I didnt need the skin for later. ( it`s that bad) I have been discusted with them my whole life. unbearably since I have accepted who and what I must do.

No.  I'm not going to have plastic surgery to change anything about me. It's a door I'm not going to open.  I'm going to own it.   No one sees them, I don't use them except when convenient like standing to pee.

Funny you mention it. Since deciding to transition, my libido has fallen off a cliff. And I'm not even on hormones yet. At first I was convinced I'd be non-op because I was satisfied with it before, and I could get used to it if a lover could. Now it's just sort of ... there.

I hadn't thought of SRS at first but now it doesn't seem such a bad idea.

Over the last little while since I realised this was where I'm headed, my libido has also dropped sharply - but that's because my contentment has shot up like crazy! Something in me feels too good to want the "comfort" of sex at the moment (which says a lot about my relationship to sex, of course...)

When I was on the HRT, I was counting the days off for surgery.
I really hated it that there was something between my legs that was not supposed to be there.
Sure, it's different for everyone and I do respect the wish for people not to have srs, after all, everyone must live the life that's most comfortable for him or her, but for me it was a relieve to go to the hospital.

And Janet, I know how you're feeling honey, it takes so much time, sometimes it's a bit discouraging.
But you've gone so far, and you will come further.
Every day you wake up, you are a day closer to your target.
You'll get there sis.
Please accept my virtual hug to encourage you a little.

love and hugs
annette

I just try not to look at it anymore. It's rather inconvenient for the thing to be there.

It's like....

???

I try to ignore it for now and work on my voice. Working on my voice is fun  ;D