Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Sanli on March 16, 2011, 04:55:11 PM Return to Full Version
Title: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Sanli on March 16, 2011, 04:55:11 PM
Post by: Sanli on March 16, 2011, 04:55:11 PM
Im pretty sure i am transsexual and i wanna see a gender therapist but i cant do that without my mom finding out so i would like some tips on how to go on about doing this.
1.Im under 18
2.IM SHY REALLY REALLY SHY i blush even if i wiggle side to side when a good song is on and noone is around thats how shy i am.
Sorry for bad english and im not from america or england.
I need to tell them soon otherwise i will go insane from fear of telling them,im scared of their reactions.
1.Im under 18
2.IM SHY REALLY REALLY SHY i blush even if i wiggle side to side when a good song is on and noone is around thats how shy i am.
Sorry for bad english and im not from america or england.
I need to tell them soon otherwise i will go insane from fear of telling them,im scared of their reactions.
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: spacial on March 16, 2011, 06:46:07 PM
Post by: spacial on March 16, 2011, 06:46:07 PM
Sanli.
It really depends upon your relationship with them. There is no easy answer.
If it's possible, you could start by asking to see a therapist of councellor who deals with anxiety.
It really depends upon your relationship with them. There is no easy answer.
If it's possible, you could start by asking to see a therapist of councellor who deals with anxiety.
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Padma on March 16, 2011, 07:07:58 PM
Post by: Padma on March 16, 2011, 07:07:58 PM
That's a really good idea - your therapist would support you in coming out when you're ready - you just need to find one who's good with gender issues (and just not tell your family that's why you chose this particular therapist!)
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Sanli on March 16, 2011, 07:12:55 PM
Post by: Sanli on March 16, 2011, 07:12:55 PM
Yes but they will kinda understand what it is about since a gender therapist theres not much that goes into that category (i think)
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Padma on March 16, 2011, 07:25:34 PM
Post by: Padma on March 16, 2011, 07:25:34 PM
I don't know how it works in your country, but in the UK, a therapist will list a number of issues they're skilled at working with, not necessarily highlighting one of them. So you may find someone who has experience working with gender issues, but doesn't put that at the top of their list on their brochure or website or whatever. The therapists know they're dealing with clients who need discretion, so it's at least worth looking for someone like that who's not so obvious.
The therapist I'm hoping to see when I move has a whole big list of things on her website, like anxiety, depression, etc. etc. and gender issues is just down there somewhere in the list. I just know she's good with gender issues because I found her through a website that deals with this. So maybe your first port of call would be to find a website that gives support and advice on trans issues in your country, and look for therapists through that, and then see who's nearby whose publicity/website doesn't give the game away for you.
Sorry, I'm getting into "man giving advice" mode here! - I do understand that you're really worried about your family finding out before you're ready to tell them, I hope this is helpful.
The therapist I'm hoping to see when I move has a whole big list of things on her website, like anxiety, depression, etc. etc. and gender issues is just down there somewhere in the list. I just know she's good with gender issues because I found her through a website that deals with this. So maybe your first port of call would be to find a website that gives support and advice on trans issues in your country, and look for therapists through that, and then see who's nearby whose publicity/website doesn't give the game away for you.
Sorry, I'm getting into "man giving advice" mode here! - I do understand that you're really worried about your family finding out before you're ready to tell them, I hope this is helpful.
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Janet_Girl on March 17, 2011, 01:22:31 AM
Post by: Janet_Girl on March 17, 2011, 01:22:31 AM
Sanli, there are several things in the Reference Library link that are related to coming out to parents and siblings.
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: Cindy on March 17, 2011, 04:07:26 AM
Post by: Cindy on March 17, 2011, 04:07:26 AM
Sanli,
You can also talk to your family doctor or school advisor if you have them. You should say that what you wish to discuss is confidential. Stuff varies so much from country to country and from culture to culture it's difficult to be more practical.
Stay Strong
Cindy
You can also talk to your family doctor or school advisor if you have them. You should say that what you wish to discuss is confidential. Stuff varies so much from country to country and from culture to culture it's difficult to be more practical.
Stay Strong
Cindy
Title: Re: How do i come out to mom and brother? (MtF)
Post by: marte on March 18, 2011, 09:19:05 AM
Post by: marte on March 18, 2011, 09:19:05 AM
I was in your position once, and I waited until I became 18 to speak to someone, which was a bad idea now that I look back on it. As Cindy said you can talk to your school counselor, they won't tell your parents. If you don't feel comfortable doing that you can also go to your family doctor, or any doctor at a health centre (or whichever way it works in your country). Try to explain the situation to your doctor (it can be difficult when youre shy, I know!) and they will help you, possibly write a referral letter for a sexology therqpist who can then help you. As for shyness, you'll get used to talking about it. Good luck