Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello,

I may be new to the forums but a few things have always lingered in my mind when considering transitioning for years.  I respect if somebody does not want to reply and I mean nothing rude by asking these questions.  But to me, if I transitioned and went through with SRS (which WOULD happen), it would be a big thing and I appreciate any kind of reply.  I have done tons of research online and videos as well, but some videos are so silent when people talk and comments are so absurd and there honestly is no other place with this kind of information.  I ask these sexual questions for personal reasons, that of course would not be the only reason to transition.

Anyways,

How does masturbation feel post-op?  Compared to before having a penis? 

Is it all sort of in the mind as opposed to how it feels when you were male?  Maybe some of you know this, maybe not, but have any of you experienced the "G" spot as a male (which is anal, sort of like the spot for a female) and then again after you transitioned?  Does it feel different?

Have you ever used a vibrator of any kind?

Now as a woman, do you feel more submissive as you did as a male?  While that might be more due to the hormones, I mean it like...do you want your partner or significant other to take charge most of the time?

Though you may have despised having a penis while being male, after you were post-op, did you miss it all?  Sometimes look down on some days and think....man that is different.

Again, I am not a troll and have the highest respect for all of you that are going through what you are, as I am to and have been for many years.  I have done research and have been curious about it, but I am definitely not going to be soft on the subject and get "minimal" replies or something of the sort only to still have questions to ask later.

Thank you for your replies and your time.  If some of you feel uncomfortable posting in the thread, feel free to send me a message to keep in confidence.

I also love reading a lot of your stories and am glad many of you are doing so well with your lives.

I will only tell you that male and female sexuality are different.  It is more than just social conditioning.  If you are inherently male, then female sexuality won't be what you want.  And vice versa.

That said, welcome to the forum, Itazura.

Be sure to look under the Announcements heading.  There you will find the rules we live by in this little world of ours:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  

Look through the other stuff there, too.

There is some good information here and many good people.  You may want to settle in, introduce yourself, and let people get to know you better before you ask very personal questions.

- Kate

Masturbation for ME was a new thing because i never touched what was there before and one of my biggest fears was feeling castrated afterwards and guess what, I woke up and didnt even realize something had actually happened.  Now it was pressure down there but not PAIN and to this VERY DAY, I dont remember what was there prior to.  Now I am not stupid, something WAS there but i think it was easier to forget something you never used. 


As for transsexuals that DID use theirs might feel a little funny afterwards

Off course it was different.
In my expirience you have to work a little harder for the orgasm.
But it's a nice job so why bother about working harder.
I never missed the penis, it did not belong to me and when I take a look in the
mirror after srs it was more natural.

There are sexual feelings but it's different compare to the male.
Maybe that's a good thing because if everything was the same, why transition.
You become a woman and the feelings you have are womanly.

I hope this will answer your questions

hug
Annette

What CHANGED for me after SRS was the desire to perform oral sex on a man.  I USED to see a naked man and lose my mind but now the thought of performing oral sex sickens me AND i tried anal sex ONCE since my surgery and it felt EXTREMELY WEIRD where i had to stop.  It didnt even get in halfway before i freaked.  That was the bigger change in my psyche than anything else. 

I can't really answer your sex questions as I am not really into it--not because I don't have a drive of any sort, but because I'm aware that seemingly normal people are capable of doing some pretty nasty things and I just don't want to be exposed to that.  As for submissiveness?  Far from it--this surgery has empowered me and given me the courage to venture into areas I would never have gone previously.

Quote from: Valeriedances on March 29, 2011, 12:37:27 PM
My sexual drive is different than before SRS. I don't have a masturbation drive. Now my need is focused on intimacy and the union with my partner. Giving and receiving pleasure without the overwhelming need to orgasm.  My drive is not orgasm based at all, so I can't answer your question directly. I find the question is too orgasm centric for me.

As for submissiveness, a better term (at least as it applies to me) is responsiveness. I relate to my partner as a responder, with gentle signals on what I like, what feels good, and what my body clues him in on what might be interesting or a turn-on ...such as yielding subtly in certain ways. It's just communication between two lovers with the male taking the lead and the female following (as in dancing). That's just me... Is it submissive? Or responsive? Submissiveness has a kinky, degrading connotation to it which I don't feel at all. Yet, I do submit to my lovers will, for pleasures sake. But that us different. I dont know what your asking precisely.

But that's just me.

Hope it is helpful.

-Valerie

I have to second pretty much everything Valerie said, especially about the need for intimacy. Orgasm is not even a priority at all.

And I'll just add that if you think even a tiny bit that you might miss it then you need to keep it. The fact that it's gone is a constant source of joy to me, and the main reason I feel cured and complete. You couldn't pay me enough money in the world to have that horrid thing back attached to me, even if it were possible.  There is no sense of difference, only a sense of rightness.

and lol I just added that last sentence to mine while you were posting :)

Quote from: Itazura123 on March 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PMHow does masturbation feel post-op?  Compared to before having a penis?

Is it all sort of in the mind as opposed to how it feels when you were male?  Maybe some of you know this, maybe not, but have any of you experienced the "G" spot as a male (which is anal, sort of like the spot for a female) and then again after you transitioned?  Does it feel different?

I think it's better. You certainly have to work harder, but I think it is more worth it in the long run. Although saying it is "harder" really isn't fair either, because it is a lot of fun to begin with.  ;)

Quote from: Itazura123 on March 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PMHave you ever used a vibrator of any kind?

I have, but generally don't like them. I find them great for one orgasm, and then I kind of get numb to them after the fact. I think I go a bit overboard with them at times.

Quote from: Itazura123 on March 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PMNow as a woman, do you feel more submissive as you did as a male?  While that might be more due to the hormones, I mean it like...do you want your partner or significant other to take charge most of the time?

Much more submissive. I find myself doing things I wouldn't have even dreamt about before transition. Oral sex ona  man being one of them, but I now get off on watching the guy squirm a bit. :)

Quote from: Itazura123 on March 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PMThough you may have despised having a penis while being male, after you were post-op, did you miss it all?  Sometimes look down on some days and think....man that is different.

Public restrooms in disgusting places are the only time I kind of miss it. The convenience is gone, but at least I can wear tight pants without discomfort!  ;D

Quote from: annette on March 29, 2011, 06:25:52 AM
Off course it was different.

There are sexual feelings but it's different compare to the male.
Maybe that's a good thing because if everything was the same, why transition.
You become a woman and the feelings you have are womanly.

Thats more or less the way I feel, I wouldnd have a lot of interest in sex, just being held, kissed and cudded by my Husband or given flowers and whisper sweet nothings in my ear is better than all the sex in the world.

Quote from: Itazura123 on March 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PM

Now as a woman, do you feel more submissive as you did as a male?  While that might be more due to the hormones, I mean it like...do you want your partner or significant other to take charge most of the time?

Yes I would be more submissive, Im married to a hot blooded male, a typical guy lol, he would normally take charge most of the time, taking the lead role, its working ok,  I get nice gentle foreplay, I tease him with my feminine ways, then he gets his way, that pleases Him, lately he wants me to preform oral on him, but I'II only, if he wears a condom, Im just not ready for that, not in my mouth, I prefer it in my vagina, lately he's got flavour tasted condoms which makes it a little easier for oral sex, but Id prefer if I didn't have to do it, anyway its all about giving and take in a relationship, Im more into the closeness than the actual physical act, I guess Im now just a typical woman, I love being a woman, Im more in touch with my feelings, thats the plus side.
Pauline

I can't answer all your questions as my vag is kind of new and not ready for trying it out. But I have not missed it, in fact I look down and struggle to remember what it was like having it, it has only been 3 weeks.

I don't feel any more submissive than I wanted to be when living as a guy. I don't really like just lying there passively and taking it. I like being an active participant.

Quote from: FairyGirl on March 29, 2011, 05:49:55 PM
And I'll just add that if you think even a tiny bit that you might miss it then you need to keep it. The fact that it's gone is a constant source of joy to me, and the main reason I feel cured and complete. You couldn't pay me enough money in the world to have that horrid thing back attached to me, even if it were possible.  There is no sense of difference, only a sense of rightness.

Yeah totally. I've had a couple dreams now where I had a penis again and I FREAKED...OUT! It was so wrong! Was relieved to wake up of course ;)

Quote from: Nicky on April 03, 2011, 03:41:32 AM
I can't answer all your questions as my vag is kind of new and not ready for trying it out. But I have not missed it, in fact I look down and struggle to remember what it was like having it, it has only been 3 weeks.

Me too! It's quite odd...I can't seem to remember what it was like to be pre-op.

Quote from: Debra on April 15, 2011, 01:20:48 PM
Yeah totally. I've had a couple dreams now where I had a penis again and I FREAKED...OUT! It was so wrong! Was relieved to wake up of course ;)

Me too! It's quite odd...I can't seem to remember what it was like to be pre-op.

That is odd because I can't either!!!

Thats really odd. I was thinking the same thing this morning after my morning shower.
The washing just seemed so natural. I remember having the ummm part, but after only 9 months it seems that the memories have faded. Also... I cant remember ever going outside with out a top on  :)