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Generally I'm not particularly the sensitive type when it comes to being offended, but this particular phrase makes me want to kill someone every time I hear it. The phrase No Homo was made famous on an episode of the show The Boondocks, in which a young boy explains to his family that if you say something that be construed as "being gay", you have to use the disclaimer No Homo or else it means you are gay. Throughout high school and even still, I hear the phrase from some of my male friends. I find it to be terribly offensive, but they don't.
A friend of mine made a photo comment on someone's facebook and used the disclaimer No Homo after the comment, and my sister and I mentioned how much we disliked the phrase. My significant other was in the next room and said that he didn't understand what we found so offensive about it. I'm pansexual, my sister is bisexual, and my significant other is heteroflexible (or maybe just on the straighter side of bisexual). I explained to him that the phrase is homophobic and implies that you can't even compliment other member of the same sex without "being gay", that it implies being gay is a bad thing (requiring constant disclaimers to insist you are not gay), and that the word "homo" is offensive in itself. He still didn't get it. So I tried telling him that it was a matter of context, some words are offensive if used in the wrong way (queer, ->-bleeped-<-, etc.) and that the context of which Homo is used is offensive. My significant other insisted that it shouldn't be offensive because Homo is just short for homosexual, and that No Homo basically just means "I mean this in a totally platonic way". My sister then told him about how even though Negro and N-word are different words, they are derived from the same thing, one being far more offensive than the other. At this point my significant other gave up and said, "Whatever. I'm still going to say it, don't try to censor me."
I couldn't tell if he told me he would say it no matter what just to spite me or just because he was frustrated with the argument. My significant other is a very strong advocate for gay rights, he is the most supportive person I know when it comes to my transitioning, and he despises bigotry in any form. I think he was angered by the argument because he did not want to be made out to be homophobic for using a phrase he did not find offensive. It just felt like one of those You Just Don't Get It arguments. Granted, he isn't particularly straight he was the "straightest" person involved in the argument. I'm very grateful for having never been a victim of hate in regard of my gender identity or sexuality, it still stings every time I hear an offensive term regarding gays. He is not gay, and will never understand what it is like to be hated just because of the people you love (unless we are still together after my transition, where he will then run a considerable risk).

The whole argument just made me sad that he felt okay with saying something like No Homo, knowing that I found it to be incredibly hurtful. I know that he is not in the least homophobic, so I know he does not mean to say anything offensive. I just don't know what to say to convince him exactly what is so hurtful without him getting defensive.  It reminds me of an episode of South Park in which one of the main character's father accidentally says the N-word on television. The character approaches an african american friend from school and asks him not to be mad because it wasn't a big deal, and the african american child says. "It is a big deal. You just don't get it, do you?". At the end of the episode, the character realizes exactly why he was wrong by saying, "You're right. I don't get it. I never will get it because there is no way for me to understand what it feels like when someone says a word like that". I just want my SO to have that realization!

Has anyone else heard this phrase before? Do you find it as offensive as I do? Or am I just being overly sensitive?

I've heard it.
I find it offensive.
And I end up making "passive aggressive" replies such as;
"I'm going to go and have awesome male on male buttsex with my husband... no homo"
Blargh.

Quote from: Miniar on March 31, 2011, 07:02:49 PM
"I'm going to go and have awesome male on male buttsex with my husband... no homo"

See, in high school people were really weird about it. Often they would say things that were very obviously... not straight, but use No Homo as an attempt to "straighten" it.
"Wow! Steve has a really cute butt! No homo."

I don't really find offense to it all. Perhaps it's just the age that I grew up in? That's just how people are and it has just become so common to call things "gay" and to say "No homo." in certain situations. A friend and I, while I was still presenting as a butch lesbian, would do the "No homo!" thing. I would also call things "gay". I even do the whole "What a ->-bleeped-<-!" thing. Homophobic type speech is just so common amongst males today, and females I'm sure, that I think it might be a long while before it can be stamped out.

It is just hard for me to grasp the reality of what I'm really saying. I understand what I'm doing and I care, but I know it'll take time for it to get out of my system. The better part of those saying all this don't even really know what they're saying.

Quote from: Wolf Man on April 01, 2011, 11:58:29 AM
I understand what I'm doing and I care, but I know it'll take time for it to get out of my system. The better part of those saying all this don't even really know what they're saying.

That's my take on it too. I heard the term "that's so gay" a lot so really I look at it like gay, in that sentence, has a different meaning than homosexual if that makes sense. As for "no homo" the words don't bother me much but the fact that guys feel they have to say it to protect their masculinity is sad to me.

It'd be kind of fun to make some "misinterpretable" statement, and then just nod sagely and say "...homo..." ;D

Quote from: Wolf Man on April 01, 2011, 11:58:29 AM
I don't really find offense to it all. Perhaps it's just the age that I grew up in? That's just how people are and it has just become so common to call things "gay" and to say "No homo." in certain situations. A friend and I, while I was still presenting as a butch lesbian, would do the "No homo!" thing. I would also call things "gay". I even do the whole "What a ->-bleeped-<-!" thing. Homophobic type speech is just so common amongst males today, and females I'm sure, that I think it might be a long while before it can be stamped out.

It is just hard for me to grasp the reality of what I'm really saying. I understand what I'm doing and I care, but I know it'll take time for it to get out of my system. The better part of those saying all this don't even really know what they're saying.

See, "that's so gay" and stuff like "what a ->-bleeped-<-!" doesn't bother me. I almost see those as a more... evolution of the word. Gay has come to mean stupid, ->-bleeped-<- has more turned into another word for someone who is just a prick (douche, jerk, dick, etc.). No Homo is very obviously homophobic, whereas the people saying That's So Gay or What a ->-bleeped-<- aren't actually being homophobic.

To an outsider looking in on one single piece of the picture, I was always gay throughout school. But I never cared to express it. My boyfriend at the time was bi and we never did anything on the school property. And somebody even regularly called me a quite derogatory (but in fact true) name that rhymes with my last name.
However, though I have only ever been with men sexually and used to have a penis, I've never considered myself gay, but rather a straight woman :-)
Frankly, the only labels I care about are the labels I wear, like bebe,cache,prada,and jilsander.
Society can call me whatever they wish to. Since I know who I am, that's all that matters!

I've never heard it before. Too old no doubt. But I would take as being rude and crude.  No Hetro.

Cindy

I would be against it's use because it is another example of the Americanisation of our culture.

Let's start a trend, where every time you see 'no homo' on facebook, we reply with 'yea gay' or 'yes les' as the case may be!

I quite like the idea of retaliating with "no hetero"!

Well you know if Boondocks ain't so-phis-t-cated enough for you, try Squidbillies.

Quote from: Yakshini on April 02, 2011, 09:36:56 PM
See, "that's so gay" and stuff like "what a ->-bleeped-<-!" doesn't bother me. I almost see those as a more... evolution of the word. Gay has come to mean stupid, ->-bleeped-<- has more turned into another word for someone who is just a prick (douche, jerk, dick, etc.). No Homo is very obviously homophobic, whereas the people saying That's So Gay or What a ->-bleeped-<- aren't actually being homophobic.

Except the words Gay and ->-bleeped-<- are still used for.. well.. gays and ->-bleeped-<-s..
So yeah, people using gay and ->-bleeped-<- to mean something negative "are" being heterosexist, they just might not realize it.

i hate that phrase. it annoys me to no end. it's the most pointless thing to say.

Quote from: Yakshini on March 31, 2011, 06:49:37 PM
Generally I'm not particularly the sensitive type when it comes to being offended, but this particular phrase makes me want to kill someone every time I hear it. The phrase No Homo was made famous on an episode of the show The Boondocks, in which a young boy explains to his family that if you say something that be construed as "being gay", you have to use the disclaimer No Homo or else it means you are gay. Throughout high school and even still, I hear the phrase from some of my male friends. I find it to be terribly offensive, but they don't.
A friend of mine made a photo comment on someone's facebook and used the disclaimer No Homo after the comment, and my sister and I mentioned how much we disliked the phrase. My significant other was in the next room and said that he didn't understand what we found so offensive about it. I'm pansexual, my sister is bisexual, and my significant other is heteroflexible (or maybe just on the straighter side of bisexual). I explained to him that the phrase is homophobic and implies that you can't even compliment other member of the same sex without "being gay", that it implies being gay is a bad thing (requiring constant disclaimers to insist you are not gay), and that the word "homo" is offensive in itself. He still didn't get it. So I tried telling him that it was a matter of context, some words are offensive if used in the wrong way (queer, ->-bleeped-<-, etc.) and that the context of which Homo is used is offensive. My significant other insisted that it shouldn't be offensive because Homo is just short for homosexual, and that No Homo basically just means "I mean this in a totally platonic way". My sister then told him about how even though Negro and N-word are different words, they are derived from the same thing, one being far more offensive than the other. At this point my significant other gave up and said, "Whatever. I'm still going to say it, don't try to censor me."
I couldn't tell if he told me he would say it no matter what just to spite me or just because he was frustrated with the argument. My significant other is a very strong advocate for gay rights, he is the most supportive person I know when it comes to my transitioning, and he despises bigotry in any form. I think he was angered by the argument because he did not want to be made out to be homophobic for using a phrase he did not find offensive. It just felt like one of those You Just Don't Get It arguments. Granted, he isn't particularly straight he was the "straightest" person involved in the argument. I'm very grateful for having never been a victim of hate in regard of my gender identity or sexuality, it still stings every time I hear an offensive term regarding gays. He is not gay, and will never understand what it is like to be hated just because of the people you love (unless we are still together after my transition, where he will then run a considerable risk).

The whole argument just made me sad that he felt okay with saying something like No Homo, knowing that I found it to be incredibly hurtful. I know that he is not in the least homophobic, so I know he does not mean to say anything offensive. I just don't know what to say to convince him exactly what is so hurtful without him getting defensive.  It reminds me of an episode of South Park in which one of the main character's father accidentally says the N-word on television. The character approaches an african american friend from school and asks him not to be mad because it wasn't a big deal, and the african american child says. "It is a big deal. You just don't get it, do you?". At the end of the episode, the character realizes exactly why he was wrong by saying, "You're right. I don't get it. I never will get it because there is no way for me to understand what it feels like when someone says a word like that". I just want my SO to have that realization!

Has anyone else heard this phrase before? Do you find it as offensive as I do? Or am I just being overly sensitive?

people just say it because they just do it for entertainment or as a joke. i really don't even care, people are just worthless and everything. i won't get offended unless someone calls me gay or something bad, but i don't give them the opportunity or satisfaction of it.

Quote from: yoxi on April 01, 2011, 04:02:19 PM
It'd be kind of fun to make some "misinterpretable" statement, and then just nod sagely and say "...homo..." ;D

agreed ;D i haven't actually seen or heard this before though. doesn't surprise me at all seeing as all the other words people use for stupid, jerk and such and such are all homophobic and stupid.

Yeah, in the same way that many insults are the names of sexual organs. Funny business.

"No homo" sounds pretty obnoxious to me.

"He's just a grunt. No offense."
"None taken."

Welcome to the world of adulthood, where you realize 99% of all "cool" things made up or parroted by adolescents is annoying and stupid.

I've never heard it used seriously.  Then again, the people I hang out with are a little odd.  We all hit on each other jokingly, so I hear it only as something like "I want to f*** you senseless.  No homo."

Well, oh well, that's a mighty white contingent of faces commenting on a cartoon done by an African-American, for a specific African-American audience.  Each of those characters represents an element of AA culture in the US, and some of them don't come off real well in the cartoon (and even less in real life), so it could be one of the jive characters saying that, and by having it come out of that character's mouth, it's meant to sound stupid.

I dislike this expression, but will use it jokingly with my friends when not in public. My friends and I have a somewhat odd sense of humour, with lots of in-jokes and such, and we don't want to offend anyone. We tend to make fun of homophobes, transphobes and other bigots by humorously adopting their rethorics.

Punctuate it? "No. Homo!"  ;D

It like really annoys me when people say, "No homo." It's just, like, so gay!

Quote from: CindyJames on April 03, 2011, 02:25:00 AM
I've never heard it before. Too old no doubt. But I would take as being rude and crude.  No Hetro.

Cindy

I've always wanted to tell you Cindy, but you have some damn sexy legs! No Homo ;)